Day 33
My list of 6
I get to pay off a debt.... yay for that list. Not always fun stuff, but it'll be fun when it's paid off.
This is where you get into trouble.
Should I withdraw from savings and pay it off?
Should I manifest cash and pay it off?
Should I take a 1 month job and pay it off? (not a chance)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
the answer is to do nothing...it will take care of itself and pay itself off.
because when you take a certain action....like say withdraw from savings....guess what happens..
you know, come on...guess.
that's right. Taxes are due Friday...or the car broke, or don't forget the car insurance coming in 3 weeks. The universe will smack you right back in the face for not believing in it.
If you manifest cash... can do...but what did I tell you about equivalent exchange...you'll pay it...and then whammo! You need to spend about the same amount on something else more important. A.k.a. the universe will smack you in the face for not trusting it.
If you take a side job...guess what happens then....you spend more money on stuff you hardly ever spend money on...like tires, or extra ice cream at the store. In other words...the universe will smack you in the face for not relying on it.
DO NOTHING and let the universe do it's job. Stop doing it's job for it......you are unqualified.
So...something strange occurred.
The seraphim actually spoke with me. Fire....
the lesson...was not to take a certain action...
it was to stop taking certain actions that block/hinder/limit myself.
So.....back to the dropping in lava course 102... instead of thoughts burning away....we shall watch hindering actions burn.
FIRE!!!!! I love it!
and you thought it just meant action and focus and will....ha!
_________________________________________________________________
I watched a weird video about the Anunnaki and Nephelim yesterday. About gene welding , Tiamat, and Nibiru. Of course most of this was common knowledge...to me anyway... but a more in depth version this time. Rather interesting.... however it didn't touch on theories about trans-dimensional possibilities or 5th dimension evolution. They left that entire part out. If we were created by the Anunnaki, gene welded wise through dna... where would our ascension capabilities come from? From their dna? From energy consciousness? Where then? We'd still have memory dna capabilities and be able to ascend onto higher planes with their dna...but being a partially flawed organism for life on earth, where does one split from being the created to the creator? Where's the cut-off line?
Or would that ability come from our earthly roots...and not them. Maybe they never had it? Would that make us more powerful in the long run?
well...just having fun theorizing....
_______________________________________________________________________
Time is moving fast today....what the hell.
I already did my computer posting today....and this blog...so now I guess I'll
figure out something else.
I have to clear coat a painting...I remember.
and ... ???
my daily list is in the other room. I have no clue.
I would clean the storage room if it weren't so cold in there.
I may go look for my laptop....I need it to see if Final Draft will go on it.
Then I can start writing the script.
Or book 5 which I still don't know where I'm starting it at.
Health textbook for Teir's schoolwork....that needs done too, but he said Tuesday the 9th.
It's only Sunday. Pretty bad we'll get it done in less than 3 days...it's horribly stupid and so easy and full of common obvious knowledge.... but hey, half a credit is half a credit.
Home/Un schooling for the win. We only bother because they need curriculum titles and stuff for high school transcripts. What a waste of time/effort doing something you already know.
fuck you school
what else...
?
?
I'm kinda bored....
who wants to come over and spend time with me?
who wants to go to iceland?
hiking?
what's playing at the theater?
I'm open to suggestions.
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Saturday, January 6, 2018
ho hum
Day 32
all that I want from you, my son, is to be satisfied
take care of yourself
be good to yourself
treat yourself well
tell yourself yes
give yourself more
love yourself completely
listen to yourself
trust yourself
honor yourself
protect yourself
I watched them as they danced. As much as a little child and grown adult possibly could.
It was cute. The younger always twirling under the fingers of the older. Stepping on them, laughing, talking, more twirling. Never being still. The older just letting the younger be, as there really isn't a wrong way to dance.
The younger gets excited when a new song plays. The older simply complies to the wishes of the younger without complaint. Without being in a hurry, there is nowhere else to be...ever. The older moves step by step, careful not to step on the younger's bare toes. Always barefooted.
Never looking away to see where else there is to be, to do, to go. The older stays true to the task at hand. Stands true even when the same question gets asked for the third time. Stays true even when the younger climbs on them. Perhaps this is no longer dancing, but the older obliges.
The mountain. Strong. Patient. Wise. Protective. Present.
The little star. Wild. Ambitious. Free. Curious. Joyful.
They dance in the midnight sky.
_________________________________________________________
What to say....
I finished my painting.
Which means....I'm on the next level. Sweet. I'll make out the new list of 6 tonight.
Teir and I made cookies.
stuff and other stuff
all that I want from you, my son, is to be satisfied
take care of yourself
be good to yourself
treat yourself well
tell yourself yes
give yourself more
love yourself completely
listen to yourself
trust yourself
honor yourself
protect yourself
I watched them as they danced. As much as a little child and grown adult possibly could.
It was cute. The younger always twirling under the fingers of the older. Stepping on them, laughing, talking, more twirling. Never being still. The older just letting the younger be, as there really isn't a wrong way to dance.
The younger gets excited when a new song plays. The older simply complies to the wishes of the younger without complaint. Without being in a hurry, there is nowhere else to be...ever. The older moves step by step, careful not to step on the younger's bare toes. Always barefooted.
Never looking away to see where else there is to be, to do, to go. The older stays true to the task at hand. Stands true even when the same question gets asked for the third time. Stays true even when the younger climbs on them. Perhaps this is no longer dancing, but the older obliges.
The mountain. Strong. Patient. Wise. Protective. Present.
The little star. Wild. Ambitious. Free. Curious. Joyful.
They dance in the midnight sky.
_________________________________________________________
What to say....
I finished my painting.
Which means....I'm on the next level. Sweet. I'll make out the new list of 6 tonight.
Teir and I made cookies.
stuff and other stuff
Friday, January 5, 2018
I will require a cabin in the trees....far far far far away.....in Palowan.
Day 31 -
this is the second leg of 90 days of writing this blog.
shouldn't be too hard. I like writing.
thinking of something to write on the other hand....
went to group meet up. It was okay
I'm appalled at the lack of skills people have playing pool.
I guess I was taught fairly early so it's just easy to me.
Of course...I haven't played in ....many years.
I will require a pool table.
Day 31 -
Financial Feng-shui.
hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
ha ha haha HA HA
HA hahahahahaha
I will require money.
I was gone all day...so I haven't done the Box challenge yet.
If I have time tomorrow I will do it.
But I get to do the chauffeur thing again.
With the truck. Car is still out-of-order
Book outline done...
the problem is it keeps going.... tying the pieces together is rather hard.
Not sure when I'll actually get to writing it.
I can start on the script too. I need to see if that little laptop will run Final Draft.
I might do Victory outline tonight depending on what is on my list.
That only requires a bundle of index cards and a pen. and some tacks.Check.
Haven't heard back from the inspector people, but they have to do the background check first.
They said up to 2 weeks. I'm in no hurry to go outside in the cold.
What is my background....according to the gov.
Random, mostly bare work history.
Paid taxes, but really just got a refund all the time, except once.
Nothing...notta, nil, zip.
Who is this person.
I'm magic. I'm the stars. The mountain filled with fire. The lightkeeper. The rain.
The alchemist. The bridge. I'm all things and none of them.
I speak to trees. and animals. and stars. and angels. and planets. and gods. and the darkness.
I'm the wind. You can't explain me or define me... do I even exist?
Light. Resonance. Frequency. Colors, hues, shades, the sun.
The song. The music. The tempo, beat and rhythm. Harmony. Movement.
I color like a child. My very good friend hangs around. I sing stupid tunes in my head as I color.
Everything is great. and amazing. Everything is funny. and amazing.
I know who I am on that side....
This side.....?
???
I know what my body does. What my head thinks. But none of this is me.
I know most of what is here is not even real.
Purpose? please.... I didn't come here to save the world. Let it burn.
I know why I came. As for the actual outcome of such venture, I kinda already know that too.
I'm hoping I will decide not to come again. But alas.....I know the answer to that too.
So for those people who want to know the future..... It's the same, only cooler.
Knowing the future.....it's really easy to disregard most of the bullshit you see/hear/etc.
Is really easy to look past people's faults, even if they really are idiots.
Actually....I still have a suspicion that some people are not really real. Like clones. Drones.
or 1 soul has split into different lives. It's a working theory.
Do you know who you are?
Know what really grinds my gears? (that's people speak for irritating = not good)
People, namely one person just a second ago, giving too much attention to bullshit.
Does the light bulbs work.....no .....= throw them away.
You want to know what store I bought them at.....no clue, a long ass time ago....= throw them away.
Now your frustrated I don't know.....yes....= throw the fucking light bulbs away.
Still trying to solve the puzzle.....yes.....= give me the light bulbs, I will throw them away.
Stop making things hard. It doesn't have to be.
Nothing is hard! Ever!
Meaning of life..... to see yourself through it.
this is the second leg of 90 days of writing this blog.
shouldn't be too hard. I like writing.
thinking of something to write on the other hand....
went to group meet up. It was okay
I'm appalled at the lack of skills people have playing pool.
I guess I was taught fairly early so it's just easy to me.
Of course...I haven't played in ....many years.
I will require a pool table.
Day 31 -
Financial Feng-shui.
hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
ha ha haha HA HA
HA hahahahahaha
I will require money.
I was gone all day...so I haven't done the Box challenge yet.
If I have time tomorrow I will do it.
But I get to do the chauffeur thing again.
With the truck. Car is still out-of-order
Book outline done...
the problem is it keeps going.... tying the pieces together is rather hard.
Not sure when I'll actually get to writing it.
I can start on the script too. I need to see if that little laptop will run Final Draft.
I might do Victory outline tonight depending on what is on my list.
That only requires a bundle of index cards and a pen. and some tacks.Check.
Haven't heard back from the inspector people, but they have to do the background check first.
They said up to 2 weeks. I'm in no hurry to go outside in the cold.
What is my background....according to the gov.
Random, mostly bare work history.
Paid taxes, but really just got a refund all the time, except once.
Nothing...notta, nil, zip.
Who is this person.
I'm magic. I'm the stars. The mountain filled with fire. The lightkeeper. The rain.
The alchemist. The bridge. I'm all things and none of them.
I speak to trees. and animals. and stars. and angels. and planets. and gods. and the darkness.
I'm the wind. You can't explain me or define me... do I even exist?
Light. Resonance. Frequency. Colors, hues, shades, the sun.
The song. The music. The tempo, beat and rhythm. Harmony. Movement.
I color like a child. My very good friend hangs around. I sing stupid tunes in my head as I color.
Everything is great. and amazing. Everything is funny. and amazing.
I know who I am on that side....
This side.....?
???
I know what my body does. What my head thinks. But none of this is me.
I know most of what is here is not even real.
Purpose? please.... I didn't come here to save the world. Let it burn.
I know why I came. As for the actual outcome of such venture, I kinda already know that too.
I'm hoping I will decide not to come again. But alas.....I know the answer to that too.
So for those people who want to know the future..... It's the same, only cooler.
Knowing the future.....it's really easy to disregard most of the bullshit you see/hear/etc.
Is really easy to look past people's faults, even if they really are idiots.
Actually....I still have a suspicion that some people are not really real. Like clones. Drones.
or 1 soul has split into different lives. It's a working theory.
Do you know who you are?
Know what really grinds my gears? (that's people speak for irritating = not good)
People, namely one person just a second ago, giving too much attention to bullshit.
Does the light bulbs work.....no .....= throw them away.
You want to know what store I bought them at.....no clue, a long ass time ago....= throw them away.
Now your frustrated I don't know.....yes....= throw the fucking light bulbs away.
Still trying to solve the puzzle.....yes.....= give me the light bulbs, I will throw them away.
Stop making things hard. It doesn't have to be.
Nothing is hard! Ever!
Meaning of life..... to see yourself through it.
Thursday, January 4, 2018
a REAL Challenge
The average temperature of Hawaii
73 to 80 degrees F
average temperature a little closer...FL perhaps?
61 to 84 degrees F
either of these places would do me good right now.
15 is unacceptable
_____________________________________________________________
so we didn't blow up the car today but will need to go get it later
it's sitting at CVS because it overheated...because the coolant hose busted.
because it's fucking cold
yes, it had antifreeze in it
but it's a Nissan.
the absolute last Nissan I will ever be a part of
Jeep, Toyota, Ford, Porsche, Audi, Lexus, Jaguar, Pagani, Koenigsegg, Maserati Alfieri.....*drool....all those high end luxury sport cars. Even Subaru is acceptable if it has all that offroad outdoorsy stuff all over it and a bunch of random stickers all over the back.
I'm killing the daily list.
Think I'll stick with it, although I must find a better way to organize it.
I'm wasting too much pen ink scribbling through what I did get done.
One cross out line isn't enough and I don't always have a dark marker with me.
Going to a teen meet-up group tomorrow with the kids.
I hope real people are there.
God, please send me someone REAL. I'm over the normal forced interaction.
I don't want to act normal.
Technically, I don't want to interact either, but if I must, let it not be normal.
The etymology of the word 'normal' means a 'carpenter's square' (that's that triangle thing that let's you mark a perfect right-angle on a piece of wood!! A+ for me in carpentry!)
.... yeah so normal people are 'squares'
--- a.k.a. in a box, shut it. closed-up. Harsh feng-shui (pronounced fung-shway) if you want to learn about sharp edges. :)
dictionary claims it means -'in conformity with rule'....
somewhere I have never been able to stay for long.
It'll be great. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.
_______________________________________________________
Did part of my book 5 outline today while freezing my toes off.
Re-read through script. It's ready to be written in screen format now.
Luckily I already have Final Draft! Hoorah!
Want to do a new challenge?
Find a box. any box, any size.
Fill it with stuff that falls short of being something you love.
If it's a small box, find small things to put in it.
Big boxes = big things.
at least 10 items must go in this box.
all 10 items must be something you do not love.
they can be something you hate.
something broken
something worn out you would love to replace but haven't because (your whiny ass excuse here)
something that gives you the creeps
something you only keep because someone gave it to you
something you only keep because it covers that hole in the wall
something you only keep because if you get rid of any more stuff you'll look poor
something you shouldn't even have, but you keep because someone else might need it.
something you keep in case of some disaster that will never happen.
something that doesn't fit.
This filled box of 10 things will get sold in the yardsale or will go to the trash.
You can look through it again to be sure before dumping/selling it all, don't panic. Close it up and put it away, label it crap you don't love. Then sell it or dump it if after a week you still don't love what's in it.
I challenge you.
Ready set go
I have to go get the car.
I also challenge you to be real.
I try to, but I scare everyone :(
that shouldn't really be a sad face.... I kinda think its great at times.
73 to 80 degrees F
average temperature a little closer...FL perhaps?
61 to 84 degrees F
either of these places would do me good right now.
15 is unacceptable
_____________________________________________________________
so we didn't blow up the car today but will need to go get it later
it's sitting at CVS because it overheated...because the coolant hose busted.
because it's fucking cold
yes, it had antifreeze in it
but it's a Nissan.
the absolute last Nissan I will ever be a part of
Jeep, Toyota, Ford, Porsche, Audi, Lexus, Jaguar, Pagani, Koenigsegg, Maserati Alfieri.....*drool....all those high end luxury sport cars. Even Subaru is acceptable if it has all that offroad outdoorsy stuff all over it and a bunch of random stickers all over the back.
I'm killing the daily list.
Think I'll stick with it, although I must find a better way to organize it.
I'm wasting too much pen ink scribbling through what I did get done.
One cross out line isn't enough and I don't always have a dark marker with me.
Going to a teen meet-up group tomorrow with the kids.
I hope real people are there.
God, please send me someone REAL. I'm over the normal forced interaction.
I don't want to act normal.
Technically, I don't want to interact either, but if I must, let it not be normal.
The etymology of the word 'normal' means a 'carpenter's square' (that's that triangle thing that let's you mark a perfect right-angle on a piece of wood!! A+ for me in carpentry!)
.... yeah so normal people are 'squares'
--- a.k.a. in a box, shut it. closed-up. Harsh feng-shui (pronounced fung-shway) if you want to learn about sharp edges. :)
dictionary claims it means -'in conformity with rule'....
somewhere I have never been able to stay for long.
It'll be great. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.
_______________________________________________________
Did part of my book 5 outline today while freezing my toes off.
Re-read through script. It's ready to be written in screen format now.
Luckily I already have Final Draft! Hoorah!
Want to do a new challenge?
Find a box. any box, any size.
Fill it with stuff that falls short of being something you love.
If it's a small box, find small things to put in it.
Big boxes = big things.
at least 10 items must go in this box.
all 10 items must be something you do not love.
they can be something you hate.
something broken
something worn out you would love to replace but haven't because (your whiny ass excuse here)
something that gives you the creeps
something you only keep because someone gave it to you
something you only keep because it covers that hole in the wall
something you only keep because if you get rid of any more stuff you'll look poor
something you shouldn't even have, but you keep because someone else might need it.
something you keep in case of some disaster that will never happen.
something that doesn't fit.
This filled box of 10 things will get sold in the yardsale or will go to the trash.
You can look through it again to be sure before dumping/selling it all, don't panic. Close it up and put it away, label it crap you don't love. Then sell it or dump it if after a week you still don't love what's in it.
I challenge you.
Ready set go
I have to go get the car.
I also challenge you to be real.
I try to, but I scare everyone :(
that shouldn't really be a sad face.... I kinda think its great at times.
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Ice cream run
So the oven is clean.
It costed me $11
I never told you how to get that challenge done.....just to get it done.
Day 29
I'm currently succeeding in completing my daily list.
this may be more useful to me than the general 'list' I have usually used.
the daily one comes with a time limit and therefore a 'challenge'
I am, after all, rather competitive. Even if it's with myself....or a list.
Read some screenplays today too.
The Iron Giant. and part of Toy Story...
cause yeah, I'm doing animation scripts right now.
Piano....better
guitar....haven't done that today yet
finished that book I was reading....it wasn't that great, but a few new tips maybe.
I suppose at this point they are all going to say the same things over and over with slightly different words. That's fine. There's some other books I want to read beside screenwriting books.
I want to get stuff together and sell it. Not sure when I'll be able to do this.
Tomorrow is scrapped. from 11am till 6pm
I wonder if the Pini's will let me do a screenplay of ElfQuest?
____________________________________________________________
I think I'm being commissioned (without pay) to take an ice cream run.
wait....that's going to cost me money.
oh well. I have money.... I have loads and loads of money!
I'm abundantly wealthy and rich as fuck!
Positivity attracts the like, yes?
why is it saying that positivity is misspelled and/or does not exist as a word?
It's Positively positive.
This is like writing in Word and it underlines random words in red squiggly lines to show you how not to write.
whatevs.
It costed me $11
I never told you how to get that challenge done.....just to get it done.
Day 29
I'm currently succeeding in completing my daily list.
this may be more useful to me than the general 'list' I have usually used.
the daily one comes with a time limit and therefore a 'challenge'
I am, after all, rather competitive. Even if it's with myself....or a list.
Read some screenplays today too.
The Iron Giant. and part of Toy Story...
cause yeah, I'm doing animation scripts right now.
Piano....better
guitar....haven't done that today yet
finished that book I was reading....it wasn't that great, but a few new tips maybe.
I suppose at this point they are all going to say the same things over and over with slightly different words. That's fine. There's some other books I want to read beside screenwriting books.
I want to get stuff together and sell it. Not sure when I'll be able to do this.
Tomorrow is scrapped. from 11am till 6pm
I wonder if the Pini's will let me do a screenplay of ElfQuest?
____________________________________________________________
I think I'm being commissioned (without pay) to take an ice cream run.
wait....that's going to cost me money.
oh well. I have money.... I have loads and loads of money!
I'm abundantly wealthy and rich as fuck!
Positivity attracts the like, yes?
why is it saying that positivity is misspelled and/or does not exist as a word?
It's Positively positive.
This is like writing in Word and it underlines random words in red squiggly lines to show you how not to write.
whatevs.
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
NO whiny ass excuses or those who skip through this.
Day 28
I wrote a very short screenplay on my new Final Draft program.
I think I LIKE it!!! It was so easy! It's only a few pages long, but I can tell why this program is the bomb. It does everything for you but type the words. Perfecto.
Maybe I'll post it. It does have a bad word or two in it and it involves an alien and a guy named Dr. Juju. Very short, very simple. I literately wrote it on the fly just so I could test it out.
I want to try to do the beats with Victory on it too, but I realize I really don't need to be sitting at the computer all day. And having them in actual card form will be easier overall, although it may take longer??
Piano....it took forever....but hard parts of certain things seem to be actually getting easier...I was almost beginning to think that maybe I'm not cut out to do the 'hard' stuff..... almost. So that issue with the hands not wanting to cooperate together....well they will be in for a big surprise when it just starts to actually happen!
Financial Feng-Shui (pronounced fi-nan-shull fung shway) for those of you who don't enjoy other languages (pronounced lang-wedges)
The only clutter I seem to have is in the storage room....and frankly, it's too cold in there to clean it.
I check my money baguas (pronounced baa-goo-uhs) and they are clean everywhere else. Technically (pronounced tek-nih-call-ee) I've taken great care to make sure all parts are clear and clutter free.
Minus the garage....the storage room.....and the oven.
...I should probably find someone to clean my oven....hmmm
that and I still have to wait to pay some things.....why?!!!
Playing chauffeur (pronounced show-fur) tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday...and Saturday...ohmygerd! (pronounced oh-my-gerd)
____________________________________________________________
I was thinking of writing you a story, but alas...the only story I keep replaying in my head is book 5. Which I should probably start writing sooner rather than later, even though I'm still not sure where I want to start it. Sharing a scene or two will just ruin the secret.
I could tell you the qualities of my script...but when it sells, I would need to remember to erase this...so I can't do that.
I could write a letter to someone.... but who?
A song, a poem, a limerick? (pronounced lim-rick)
How about a riddle?
....
probably too hard for the commoners....nevermind.
FFS!!!
Some of us....we live in a world between worlds. Where we have one foot in this reality and in this body...and we have the other in the world of real reality and of that vast ocean.
One would assume we would care to show you the wonders of what's on the other side of the veil. That I would want you to know. But you can't know. Not until you walked through the doors on your own. I want you to know, but I can't ever give it to you. I can't explain the taste of it. The feel of it.
I can't even show you the way there. I didn't lead myself across in the first place. I was never alone on this journey. Not even once. The steps I took could never be the same ones you could take.
I will not hold your hand and carry you forward. That is not my job. If you ask, I can only tell you the answer I know, but it doesn't mean it's the only answer. Or that its your answer.
I'm burning from the inside out. I've thrown thought after thought into the river of lava and watched them burst into flames before my eye. Knowing what is coming without seeing it.
The seraphim....they are here. Whatever their purpose is with me....I accept.
..the other one....the one who visits when dark thoughts move through.... he seemed pleased to have such a short visit with me. Almost like he was satisfied that whatever lessons I had to learn had stuck true and proven. A test perhaps? Whatever, I was also pleased....to tell him goodbye.
and the other...that One. If you held the love of all the stars in your hands and rain fell upward into the heavens and the underworld shone out like sunbeams...it wouldn't come close to being equal to the heart of the King.
If you want to take this journey....young pioneer, eager alchemist, one with a head full of mysteries and those with any need to walk. The King grants requests....every time.
Follow the gypsy's out into the wild, where they dance around the fires. Where the children gather to hear of legends. Where the lost wander even further on purpose. And the rogues and warlocks feel underfoot that the world is good. Find that place....where the pain bubbles over your brim and you overflow with something you can't contain. Where the memories fade into a breeze and the hands of your lover touch warm. Where storms rage. Mountains fall. Mountains rise. And your sons stand tall. Your daughters carry the future. Your soul blazes. Where you are held.
that was way long
Most people, including me, do not like to read long posts where there isn't much white space.
Good luck making it here.
________________________________________________________________________
try this....
do something tomorrow (Jan 3rd) that you most likely wouldn't (because of one of your fears)
then disregard those fears and show them that they are not real, by doing the thing you said.
like paying off a large bill (how....with what money?-add in your whiny ass excuse here)
or cooking a homemade meal (but I don't have all the ingredients - add your whiny ass excuse here)
or taking a jog (it's too cold, my leg is broke - whiny ass excuse here)
or painting a picture (like what....I'm too stupid for imagination - whiny ass excuse here)
or _________ fill in the black with something you really want or would like to do/have/etc. (but but but but but - whiny ass excuse here)
those are only examples. but the lesson is that once you go ahead and do thing you want to do....the other option disappears.
Do you want door number 1 (the cool thing) or door number 2 (the fear keeping you away from the cool thing)?
It is always your choice.
I challenge you.
I will think up something for mine.....and write about it tomorrow.
I practice this probably way more often than you ever have, so I will try to make mine challenging for me....although I do have an issue....I'm rather fearless in most cases. When its even there I do it anyway because I will fucking burn its ass (any fear) into nothingness.
Maybe I'll clean the stove..... (because I don't want to - whiny ass excuse here)
fuck...
I wrote a very short screenplay on my new Final Draft program.
I think I LIKE it!!! It was so easy! It's only a few pages long, but I can tell why this program is the bomb. It does everything for you but type the words. Perfecto.
Maybe I'll post it. It does have a bad word or two in it and it involves an alien and a guy named Dr. Juju. Very short, very simple. I literately wrote it on the fly just so I could test it out.
I want to try to do the beats with Victory on it too, but I realize I really don't need to be sitting at the computer all day. And having them in actual card form will be easier overall, although it may take longer??
Piano....it took forever....but hard parts of certain things seem to be actually getting easier...I was almost beginning to think that maybe I'm not cut out to do the 'hard' stuff..... almost. So that issue with the hands not wanting to cooperate together....well they will be in for a big surprise when it just starts to actually happen!
Financial Feng-Shui (pronounced fi-nan-shull fung shway) for those of you who don't enjoy other languages (pronounced lang-wedges)
The only clutter I seem to have is in the storage room....and frankly, it's too cold in there to clean it.
I check my money baguas (pronounced baa-goo-uhs) and they are clean everywhere else. Technically (pronounced tek-nih-call-ee) I've taken great care to make sure all parts are clear and clutter free.
Minus the garage....the storage room.....and the oven.
...I should probably find someone to clean my oven....hmmm
that and I still have to wait to pay some things.....why?!!!
Playing chauffeur (pronounced show-fur) tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday...and Saturday...ohmygerd! (pronounced oh-my-gerd)
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I was thinking of writing you a story, but alas...the only story I keep replaying in my head is book 5. Which I should probably start writing sooner rather than later, even though I'm still not sure where I want to start it. Sharing a scene or two will just ruin the secret.
I could tell you the qualities of my script...but when it sells, I would need to remember to erase this...so I can't do that.
I could write a letter to someone.... but who?
A song, a poem, a limerick? (pronounced lim-rick)
How about a riddle?
....
probably too hard for the commoners....nevermind.
FFS!!!
Some of us....we live in a world between worlds. Where we have one foot in this reality and in this body...and we have the other in the world of real reality and of that vast ocean.
One would assume we would care to show you the wonders of what's on the other side of the veil. That I would want you to know. But you can't know. Not until you walked through the doors on your own. I want you to know, but I can't ever give it to you. I can't explain the taste of it. The feel of it.
I can't even show you the way there. I didn't lead myself across in the first place. I was never alone on this journey. Not even once. The steps I took could never be the same ones you could take.
I will not hold your hand and carry you forward. That is not my job. If you ask, I can only tell you the answer I know, but it doesn't mean it's the only answer. Or that its your answer.
I'm burning from the inside out. I've thrown thought after thought into the river of lava and watched them burst into flames before my eye. Knowing what is coming without seeing it.
The seraphim....they are here. Whatever their purpose is with me....I accept.
..the other one....the one who visits when dark thoughts move through.... he seemed pleased to have such a short visit with me. Almost like he was satisfied that whatever lessons I had to learn had stuck true and proven. A test perhaps? Whatever, I was also pleased....to tell him goodbye.
and the other...that One. If you held the love of all the stars in your hands and rain fell upward into the heavens and the underworld shone out like sunbeams...it wouldn't come close to being equal to the heart of the King.
If you want to take this journey....young pioneer, eager alchemist, one with a head full of mysteries and those with any need to walk. The King grants requests....every time.
Follow the gypsy's out into the wild, where they dance around the fires. Where the children gather to hear of legends. Where the lost wander even further on purpose. And the rogues and warlocks feel underfoot that the world is good. Find that place....where the pain bubbles over your brim and you overflow with something you can't contain. Where the memories fade into a breeze and the hands of your lover touch warm. Where storms rage. Mountains fall. Mountains rise. And your sons stand tall. Your daughters carry the future. Your soul blazes. Where you are held.
that was way long
Most people, including me, do not like to read long posts where there isn't much white space.
Good luck making it here.
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try this....
do something tomorrow (Jan 3rd) that you most likely wouldn't (because of one of your fears)
then disregard those fears and show them that they are not real, by doing the thing you said.
like paying off a large bill (how....with what money?-add in your whiny ass excuse here)
or cooking a homemade meal (but I don't have all the ingredients - add your whiny ass excuse here)
or taking a jog (it's too cold, my leg is broke - whiny ass excuse here)
or painting a picture (like what....I'm too stupid for imagination - whiny ass excuse here)
or _________ fill in the black with something you really want or would like to do/have/etc. (but but but but but - whiny ass excuse here)
those are only examples. but the lesson is that once you go ahead and do thing you want to do....the other option disappears.
Do you want door number 1 (the cool thing) or door number 2 (the fear keeping you away from the cool thing)?
It is always your choice.
I challenge you.
I will think up something for mine.....and write about it tomorrow.
I practice this probably way more often than you ever have, so I will try to make mine challenging for me....although I do have an issue....I'm rather fearless in most cases. When its even there I do it anyway because I will fucking burn its ass (any fear) into nothingness.
Maybe I'll clean the stove..... (because I don't want to - whiny ass excuse here)
fuck...
Monday, January 1, 2018
the path into the wild
Day 27 - January 1st
not really the actual new year, that starts March 20th when the sun rises in Aries.
but we can hang and play along with you westerners
The moon is rising. Have you gazed upward this night?
Opening the portal.....wide open my friends.
So I did stuff today...
paperwork. lots of it
and other stuff.
want some pictures?
here ya go....
The sewing room that is no longer the sewing room looked like that yesterday.
Not anymore.... things change too fast.
If you blink, you'll miss it.
Know what I'm working on next...
yep....
I'm being summoned. I must retreat from this blog for this day and return with a story for you in the morrow.
someone spelled wilderness wrong...... :/
should be... the WILDNESS is calling....sounds more appropriate.
I should make memes.
I have to go......time is passing
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