Ugh-ies are growing everywhere

Circles.
Around and around in a circle.
never moving forward.
not even being centered.

what is the point of even speaking if all of it is for naught
all of it irrelevant to the now, or even to the future
the past would be understandable if you still needed it...
but
theoretical speech is obsolete and could never feed the desires of today.
or tomorrow...

shall we continue this dance of circles until we become dizzy and fall
that's not what I'm here for.
let's walk instead.
or even be still in the moment.

it's all we ever really have.

__________________________________________

I know your being... ego or otherwise... wants to express itself.
wants others to meet you at your perspective
wants to be seen, be heard, be understood

but there are far too many words
and my attention is not based in illusion
it wants life, it wants the now.
it would even tolerate the tomorrows...the soon to come tomorrows...

I see you, I hear you...
but lo, I can't stay here
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It's a wonder.... how often I rephrase these words to help them move forward
in some sort of sensible pattern, but also maintain an awareness about them.
Often times refraining from using "I"... and even more unlikely "me".
as, what are those connotations anyway?
Is it the "I" of the soul or of the mind?
The "me"....is never the soul...at least not in most cases.
There isn't a way to define such, only watching as they appear on the page.
and the watcher... sometimes the only one present... even if a program plays.
 _____________
___________

but let's not make these words hard for any of you
let's spill them out carelessly and eagerly
recklessly
which is very far from being less wreck-ful
let's watch and see what arrives....
are these words simpler? perhaps, perhaps not.
maybe see where the attention goes and whether or not it will be reigned in.
   but is there a topic of interest?
   something to grab hold of and shake up?
  a trigger?!
alas... only a slight disappointment in humanity and the lack of inspiring people.
most only slinging their pain to and fro... or casting darkness on their paths...
 uhhh... complaining and being negative... in simpler terms, but completely less classy.
but mostly... sad ugh-ness and they could use a good strangle to make them come alive..
let's dub the cashiers at the store as sad "Ugh-ies".
like mopey depressed boots... and they need a good kick in the ass.
   

what is simple?
rum on the beach?
pirate bounty?

what is simple?

nothing is showing up...
other than globs of sludge....
what is this?

I go to investigate.

what has brought you here?

You're gonna have to let all who she is go.
Only then, who you are will appear.
That means your past.
Your thoughts.
Your likes, your dislikes.
All those things that have attached labels.
All those things that have scarred her flesh and blinded her eyes.
All who she is.
Every piece of her light and her dark.
Release all of her.
Let her fall away from who you are.
She has become death.
And you have become life.
And the inbetween is only a shadow.

Even those in the aether must be released.

The symbols that surround.
The microcosm must surrender to the macrocosm
each and every time....
and the macro to the micro...
again and again
till gravity makes her path.
orbiting
out and in, in and out
through and through....
till you're you.

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in the midst of editing Sky Thunder.
second read through arriving in a few hours.

also the really rough outline for the next project has been birthed.
like 20 short jagged lines... that will form into a full length screenplay.
It's yet to be titled....

Much has occurred recently from this space clearing...
and there's something headed towards the gate...
coming to make itself known..
but can't quite see it yet.
If it forms itself into words, I shall surely spill them across this page.
If it forms into a being, I hope they remain.
If it forms into a miracle... I'll embrace it.

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I caught a glimpse of two towering entities.
They anchored the flow of energy that doused my being.
Casting the flow to wrap around them and then to me.
Like anchors... to slow the flood.
And another flow spanned outward from my being and went in the opposite direction.
Also wrapping around these anchoring beings...
and they won't answer me when I ask their names...
One is close to a shade of blue...
the other something like grey....
these towers... with hands and faces...
ones that aid a soul...

and the waves...swallow
the space... is.

this is far more related to science than spirit...
and they are hand in hand.


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Four words ..... receive by receiving you .....

ooooooohhhhh.

what happens when you switch places with the watcher?
the watcher moves forward and becomes you...
and this ego you, moves backward and begins to watch?

the numbers have indicated something to me...
12:23 - 1:23 - 2:34 - 3:45 - 4:56
consistently...like more than enough...
I've noticed, I've acknowledged them
progression
progress
a moving forward.....

this is my reality

.................

Every time the presence is acknowledged... things happen
And when a space is opened up... consciously...
   the world unfolds, expanding outward forever....
a complete abundance and full access to source...

I've yet to hold that space for a prolonged period....
but I am certain it will bring about a new birth of some sort.
there is a deep power here...

this reminds me of a teaching I was given...
I had asked how to store power in the body...
the answer was 'by sitting in it'...

and source was tapped.... and I've realized I have not prepared
enough space for what is about to burst from that source.
 -- like striking oil, but you don't have any barrels to put it in.
-- like striking gold, but you can't carry it all
-- like seeing a ufo, and not having a camcorder on hand.
-- like meeting God, but then waking up and trying to function 'as usual'.

So cultivating space... is a priority.
a space... like .... space.

tf.
w.t.f.
my mind is trying to grasp something, but ...
the feeling is here now... and the mind can't be heard.
a faint mumble, but I'm rapt

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The rising of the shield hero...
an anime I'm watching, but I have to hunt down the last few episodes
crunchyroll only had 1-18.... it goes to 25 apparently.
I finished that fur. Now the buttons and it's done.
I can't say what any plans are...
other than to meditate and open up that space for longer...
something waits...
I want to meet it.






an unfolding... outward.
it keeps going.... this expanse...
perhaps I will have more to share tomorrow.
I will leave you with this...

"The problem is that you don't really know what you want.
If you really knew what you wanted, you'd have it by now."

...yes, they totally do...

~ ~ ~
He grips her arms and presses her against the wall.
She doesn't break eye contact with him, even as he hovers close.
"Spying on them, perhaps wasn't the best idea." He growls. "There are plenty of reasons why you children aren't going to be involved in the dirty work."
"Children?" She glares back at him. "I'm the one who told them about you."
He eases his grip, almost taken aback that this girl had any knowing of who he was. Of who he really was. He hesitates and moves even closer. His breath upon her ear.
"And who do you think I am?" He asks, a ruthless vibe under the words.
She doesn't answer him as he meets her eyes. He releases her but doesn't step away.
"Who do you think I am?" She asks him, not daring to show fear.
He pauses. Perhaps trying to hide the grin hidden in the corner of his mouth. Perhaps unable to hide his intrigue. He breaks away from her glare.
She steps out from the small space between him and the wall, not caring her shoulder brushes against his vest. He turns his head and watches as she steps away. She stops at the door, slightly turning back to him, but not enough to see him.
"I have my own interests to tend to tomorrow. Be sure to stay out of my way." She says. "I don't care what the captain and his cronies have planned."
"What about that pitiful group of comrades you'll be traveling with? He asks smugly.
She snuffs a small laugh and looks back at him.
"You mean the children?" She raises an eyebrow. "Please. I have a much more realistic prize than anything this whole ragtag crew can dream of."
She disappears behind the doorway.
~ ~ ~

so that is probably a scene in my next screenplay! I just need to know where it starts...
Opening scene... perhaps I'll get it sometime in the next 24 hours.
Some names for these people would be great too...
It's totally a sci-fi flick... But for girls.
Think Star Wars meets Cowboy Bebop, mixed with something rated R.
Not as in violence, but nudity and some bad words.
It's a love story in space. <3
and people get shot and killed... and things get stolen. There's a bounty hunter in it.
I have no idea what or who the antagonist is yet.
Technically it's looking like the good guys are the bad guys... hmmm. *shrugs

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Nothing happening... in the 3d world. Been playing video games and procrastinating on sewing on fur. Which I hope it will get done tomorrow.... but there is certainly no promise to that.
A pole shift in the aether.
Fascinating things in the spiritworld.... but it's sooooooo ssssllllooooooowwwwww.
that's what happens during a pole shift apparently.
like when a planet begins its prograde (or retrograde)...there is a long pause of appearing not to move...but it totally is still moving... Just like that....but more, much more.

yep... that's exactly how it's looking in the 3d world too.... hmm... cool.
ain't got nothing to share

remember..."the rules don't apply here. "

Creepy wizards trying to stifle my progress...

Wow...it's been 5 days since I've been here..
5 days is A LOT!

What has occurred during this time..?
the first draft of the screenplay is complete.
letting it sit for a few days before the editing process begins...
So I have a few days to actually sleep and reset my circadian rhythm
.
I delivered flowers today.
I hated it.
drove through Chickamauga...
(talk about fucking creepy vibes!)
why would people live there, can they not  FEEL that shit?!?
just no...
every creepy house, I would be like.. 'Oh hell no.'
I'm not even afraid of ghosts...
but it feels like a 'hell no'.
and god forbid Ooltewah....
I can relate to the giant cocks in the front yard though...
   (giant metal roosters, yo)

____________________________
____________________________

so this thing...
contract signing crap...
did not come without the completely expected set backs...
or what some call ... the TESTS
Challenges...
things supposed to make you turn back, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
or throw a tantrum.... so they can place you with the 'special needs' kids.
like when your new teacher makes you read something to her...
but she finds out you are better than most of the entire class...
and you get put with the advanced students instead...
like I said... biotch.... I have the key codes.
I know the hacks.
I can rewrite the programs anytime I wish.
......(and I totally was given/bought books when I was little little!... and those scholastic book deals...omg! Where did they ever go?! My teacher would always ask what was wrong when I didn't have any to buy that month, lol! It was because I didn't see anything I liked, LOL!)


Well, truthfully, I was hoping to evade those tests... but psshh! Not!
I sit here laughing at the fact that I was hoping...
I know these things well...
and I'm gonna love 'em to pieces.
like that MC Hammer song...
"Can't touch this."


There are at least 5 'tests' I can toy with...
either choosing to fret and worry  (HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! why do I find that hilarious?)
or just make them perfect...
(bow to me, lowly servant scum...)
and I will certainly choose the latter.
I already tackled one today... 2 actually...
no...wait... 3  !!!!
wow...
it's raining!
But I have rain boots!!!!


ugh, I hate that I use exclamation points all the time....
my inner voice sounds excited, but I'm not.
I don't sound like a goddess/demon narcissist, but I am.
now my inner voice is laughing....
and I want to type it out....
but I'm not going to....

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what else can I....or more correctly....will I, share with you?



here ya go...

~ ~ ~
They gaze in silence. Their minds try to grasp what they are watching, but words are failing. "This one is not like the others." The unified expression falls across each one of their faces. "Since when are we ever caught off-guard like this? There must be something we can do?"
They would glance to one another silently. Each completely inexperienced to the happening before them. Who would have the answer?
They look to the one deemed the 'leader'. He stands alone, not wanting to give indication that he too is caught in the suspenseful awareness. He doesn't react, only breathes deeply. Unmoving, and unwilling to meet with anyone's eyes.
But he can't hide them from me. I see them. Everyone's. I see them all.
And no response, is a response. And together, we continue... but they no longer have that choice. They are rapt now, caught in the midst of the possibilities, the threshold of the unknown.
"What are we going to do with her?" They will say. "How is this possible?" They will ask...
but the answer is something the 'leader' doesn't dare speak aloud.
But he can't hide the words from me. I hear them. Everyone's. I hear them all.

There's another layer. Where the hero sinks the their knees.Where the shadows flit about, too fast to know what it was that passed. Eyes wide... but not with fear. No... this hero wears a crown...
And even as the light goes out, the eyes of the hero pierce the darkness...and the shadows tremble, shaking the hidden light from their entities. Who is this hero? Who can do these things without being a student of the alchemist? Without searching for the philosopher's stone? Without even 'doing' anything?
I will tell you. But cover your ears. Even the words are failures to what the truth really is. Cover your ears. Only a master is able to harness the truth and rise above the law, letting the pendulum swing to and fro and carry with it the sea of the people. Only a master can see that it is not the pendulum, or the sea...but the one whom watches it. Becomes it. And it is no more....
~ ~ ~

yeah...that.


will I post this one?
I guess I could... I guess I would... not with a fox, not in a box, not with a mouse, not in a house...
not here nor there, not anywhere.... I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them...
___ _ __.

I'll let you finish that, for fun, yo.

just dropping in...

That was a whole three days that felt like eternity.
Three days of totally not writing that screenplay....
but today I got from page 48 to page 62
that's awesome!
now I only have to have between 28 and 58 pages more...
which ...given that I have until the 11th...
a.k.a. 5 days...
is equivalent to about 6 to 12 per day ... to go.

but, I am well aware that the rest of this film is full of action...
and that writes fast...
hence the reason I got 14 pages done tonight... in only 2 hours.
yay for action!

there was really only a pause in writing because I made the bad dude more powerful than I thought he was... and then I didn't know how to even give my good guys a fighting chance... but you see, it all figured itself out.. just took a whole two days... the other was complete resistance and I got lost somewhere in the land of youtube.

____
____
so... what's happening....
selling my soul apparently.
making soul contracts..
but... like ... for a job...
but not a job...
more like to be an employee ..
for the universe....
but technically for the awesomest boss.

it would be like getting to work for Disney...but not just Disney... Walt Disney, himself.
like getting to work on Kung Fu... but not in general.. like with Bruce Lee, himself. (or Ip Man)
like getting to run errands for Marvel... but specifically for the Avengers.... or Wolverine.

it literately feels like I sent in some crap resume and application and the head honcho CEO was like, yep, this one. And I got hired on the spot.
What my job description is.... is....
something I can't say, because I'm not available to explain...
it's pretty awesome though... and completely unknown at this point.
I have very very vague jist... and completely know nothing at all...
it'll be great.
always is.

_______________
___________________
what else...?
eh..

I've suddenly lost interest in being here....
but I was researching places to vacation....
and am not finding something I want...

hmmm.
goodbye peony pimplecakes of coriander millet sticks and german fudge icicles.
let it melt on the sands of the ocean beaches where the rays of the sun mingle with the nudists.

Processers just got upgraded.

Who knew...

that 'MY WAY' also happened to be complete surrender
A complete level upgrade with expansion packs.
and harrowing evidence that we are in our own way.

for once I can say that even though I feel the upgrade downloading...
that I didn't read the fine print on this software... (wait, do I ever?)
I just clicked the 'Accept' box and clicked download now.

don't worry, I have built in virus prevention...and pop up blockers

one of the council members have walked with me during the checkout process...
they may have been giving me the gist on certain things...
like a consultant does, or an attorney... on something you need to sign.
and although I know some of the conditions would be out of the question
for almost everyone I know...
...
I agreed and accepted the terms.

I accept.
Let's fucking do this.

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page 47 on screenplay
a really exciting part is coming...!
so that's about half way done, depending whether it goes to 90 pages or 120.
I'm still liking my bad guy... even though he's only been seen like 3 times so far.
Shit's going to get real tonight. gonna pull out the big guns... and some lightning.

If you want to read one my screenplays, please donate $15 to
paypal.me/ShadowDragonDreams
 and let me know which one you want.
Or send $50 for all - plus a bonus! - and you get the next one free.

1: The Fox Prince   (needs edited and rehashed, still cool though)PG13
2: Victory   (kids movie, very cute, kinda funny)G
3: Laser Racers  (my fav fav fav fav!)PG
4: Killian  (short 32 pages, funny, has bad words)R
5: Sky Thunder  (in process)PG13

I am open for suggestions, improvements, and trash talk on any of the above.

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________________________________
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yeah, that's it. So take care of your blueberry mushroom tequila pongos and
stomp to the rhythm of the twilight drummers that live in the vast expanse of the
wild seas of Greece. and respect the Spartans.... and Iron Man.