Today is just weird and sucky too.
Whacked dream about a demon coming after me and it would turn other people into demons to catch me, and it was messed up! But at the end when I knew I wouldn't get away I blew up at least 3 nuclear plants and the demons died and so did I in the percussion blast....but I remember being disentigrated, but I was still conscious...and I stood up after that thinking it was odd my body was heavy and not more flowing ghost like...whatever...then a weirdo call that actually woke me up from that dream...
Then just things so far today that make you want to go "UGH!!!"
Even the computer is being nonhelpful, so I'm outta here till around 8pm, cause I have to post some outfits for sale.
Maybe its the eclipse that's coming this Sunday, cause this day sucks so far.
Goodbye!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Trees of the Universe....um...garden
Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wantin'
To be haunted.
Trees...growing up up up reaching stretching longing...and digging reaching down down down straining.
Our battles between who we are as natural creatures, and who we are as something from the beyond. Always bearing the trials and fates that plague us and always striving for more than what the earth holds...because we not only want it...we need it.
Trees need the earth, the dirt, the grime, the harsh rocks, and deep dark depths of blackness...trees need the sky, the air, the sun, and the ever pleasing warmth and comfort of light and wind. Are we not so different?
Could you deny the roots to only take satisfaction in the leaves? Without them the tree would die. Could you grasp only at the roots and never realize what greater things could come of it? Staying in the dark...cold.
We are the trees...we are the trees. Standing in the gardens of time always trying to divide the roots from the branches....do we not fall when we do such? Cut ourselves down and become corpses.
Do we not deny our roots of nature and try to relinquish them as burdens, as filth, as the parts of ourselves that linger in darkness...the things we try to hide, the things we see as failure, as dirty little lies we tell ourselves as if we have something inside of us that is shameful....
Would He make you to be shameful? Would He make you to shun a part that you were born with? Would He make you slice yourself in two and lay dead by suicide?
What makes you think you are not already perfect? There is beauty and purpose in having roots. In having darkness. In having a void of blackness where no light shines....
As who could see the stars if there was not night?
Do not cut out the roots....tend to them to make them strong...so you don't fall in the windstorm.
Make them strong....strong roots protect the entire tree against termites and devouring creatures...above and below ground. It's a shame we still cut them out like a vile sin....its a shame they still tell the masses that lie. The lie that we were created with a blemish...tarnished...not good enough...not quite right...not quite beautiful......so I guess all the newborns are not quite perfect then...I guess all the 2 year olds are not quite right...I guess the 7 year olds are not good enough....I guess the 15 year olds are tarnished...and the 30 year olds have blemishes...and 65 year olds are not beautiful.
Why is it we would think that? Why do they say such vile things about humanity...when we are all great wonders. It's the lies that keep us from revealing the truth of our own greatness. We are all great...but it has all been scarred over with layers and layers and layers of deceitful lies.
Maybe we just need to remember. He came and went not only to relinquish you from the idea of 'sin' but to help you remember...remember you are great, you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are enough, you are quite right, you are pristine, and you are more than you realize.
When He kneels down, intent eyes, and grips you firmly, like you are going to get scolded like a naughty child...and He tells you "You are worth everything!"....then maybe you will understand, there's nothing in the way between you and Him....
Like there's nothing in the way between a Star and the Universe.
That was nice. Sometimes things just come and flow so easily....and I really hope you understand. There's not much time left to be thinking you are less than important.
see you bunnies later!
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wantin'
To be haunted.
Trees...growing up up up reaching stretching longing...and digging reaching down down down straining.
Our battles between who we are as natural creatures, and who we are as something from the beyond. Always bearing the trials and fates that plague us and always striving for more than what the earth holds...because we not only want it...we need it.
Trees need the earth, the dirt, the grime, the harsh rocks, and deep dark depths of blackness...trees need the sky, the air, the sun, and the ever pleasing warmth and comfort of light and wind. Are we not so different?
Could you deny the roots to only take satisfaction in the leaves? Without them the tree would die. Could you grasp only at the roots and never realize what greater things could come of it? Staying in the dark...cold.
We are the trees...we are the trees. Standing in the gardens of time always trying to divide the roots from the branches....do we not fall when we do such? Cut ourselves down and become corpses.
Do we not deny our roots of nature and try to relinquish them as burdens, as filth, as the parts of ourselves that linger in darkness...the things we try to hide, the things we see as failure, as dirty little lies we tell ourselves as if we have something inside of us that is shameful....
Would He make you to be shameful? Would He make you to shun a part that you were born with? Would He make you slice yourself in two and lay dead by suicide?
What makes you think you are not already perfect? There is beauty and purpose in having roots. In having darkness. In having a void of blackness where no light shines....
As who could see the stars if there was not night?
Do not cut out the roots....tend to them to make them strong...so you don't fall in the windstorm.
Make them strong....strong roots protect the entire tree against termites and devouring creatures...above and below ground. It's a shame we still cut them out like a vile sin....its a shame they still tell the masses that lie. The lie that we were created with a blemish...tarnished...not good enough...not quite right...not quite beautiful......so I guess all the newborns are not quite perfect then...I guess all the 2 year olds are not quite right...I guess the 7 year olds are not good enough....I guess the 15 year olds are tarnished...and the 30 year olds have blemishes...and 65 year olds are not beautiful.
Why is it we would think that? Why do they say such vile things about humanity...when we are all great wonders. It's the lies that keep us from revealing the truth of our own greatness. We are all great...but it has all been scarred over with layers and layers and layers of deceitful lies.
Maybe we just need to remember. He came and went not only to relinquish you from the idea of 'sin' but to help you remember...remember you are great, you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are enough, you are quite right, you are pristine, and you are more than you realize.
When He kneels down, intent eyes, and grips you firmly, like you are going to get scolded like a naughty child...and He tells you "You are worth everything!"....then maybe you will understand, there's nothing in the way between you and Him....
Like there's nothing in the way between a Star and the Universe.
That was nice. Sometimes things just come and flow so easily....and I really hope you understand. There's not much time left to be thinking you are less than important.
see you bunnies later!
Monday, May 14, 2012
I never said we were having barbeque ribs...ugh
It's been four days since my last post and I really haven't the slightest idea where that last four days has gone.
Oh wait...I remember....this pain in my side says my rib is broken...and I reinjured it today sometime when me, the kids, and the wal-mart buggy full of groceries decided to tromp through the pouring down rain to get to the Jeep. Nice.
So I'm taking leave from derby for awhile. Taking leave from any type of movement actually, except of course the cooking and cleaning I have to do and sewing work...and other non strenuous things...cause I have somewhere to be in 2 weeks and a broken rib isn't on the agenda.
I can't really notice if my knee still hurts, so I guess that is one good thing.
The bank people finally managed to be kind and get things done, even though it wasn't actually finished until today. So that is nice.
I'm hoping next month we will not be so broke...lol...in either sense!
I have a long list of 'to-do eventually' and 'hello, better get this done' which doesn't seem to be getting less and less...ugh....So if you are waiting on something that I am supposed to provide...as you can see, it might be not so efficiently delivered. I'm behind..like the bank people..and everyone else it seems. Be patient...I could always just not do it at all. Which is totally FINE with me, btw.
Well anyway....besides needing a helping hand to come clean this wreck of a house! (did I tell you I spent all weekend sewing up 14 appliques!) I also need someone to assist in getting me to get to work and not loiter on this computer. Also must be willing to help finish the rabbit hutch (which I totally was gonna work on had it not rained or been cold this weekend). Love my bunnies, but they are elite escape artists and evidently can fly...ahem...'jump good'. So sleeping outside and playing outside are much more efficient than running amok through the house all day long and most of the night since they don't seem to be able to understand that 4 feet make-shift walls are meant to keep them contained! ...love my bunnies....and I was gonna get them a girlfriend, but I haven't had time! and today the weather poured and wasn't about to drive out to get one...ugh...maybe tomorrow if I can move at all.
So..in other news...I haven't had any weird dreams, but I think that has more to do with being absolutely tired! and congested, and now broken. So I'm missing all that out of this world craziness...*sad panda.
A cool awesome friend of mine suggested that since I'm in pain...that I shouldn't buy any powered milk-laced doughnuts again...but that I should make brownies instead...so I did. Yeah, he didn't really put me up to it, I just like to give him credit anyway.
But they are cooling as I type....so even though I am still full from dinner...I'm going to go eat one once they are deemed handle-able....you bet I am.
Now...let's think up something more non-boring. Like priorities.
Ever have that feeling to where you do so much, but it seems nothing gets done efficiently? Sure you have. Well, this just so happens to mean that you have things that are taking precedence over what is really important. And this is my life. So be forewarned...I'm going to redecorange my priorities...well...more like actually do them in order instead of all over the place and neglect that which is at the top of the list. Not that I neglect the #1 slot....but I do #2 sometimes and majorly do #3 almost always....which isn't going to happen again. #4 gets cared for mostly too, #5 doesn't get neglected...at least not at the last minute. #6 and so-on....awfully do because the time in the day and time that I can even bare to look at them doesn't seem to exist. So everything not on the top 10 list will get deleted. Tough titties my friends. And if I just so happen to have 'time' to deal with anything else, I will let you know.....or not. ;)
I'm going to go now...I'm sure the brownies are edible...and since I am uber awesome...I want to sew up a smurf shirt for someone who would love to have it by the weekend (even though she knows that is next to impossible) and prove to her that nothing is impossible. Because I'm awesome and impossible only really says 'I'm Possible'.
I can't wait to get out of here and go to that fancy dinner.....barbeque thingy!!!
...o...m....gosh...I just freaked myself out...... and realized something.......um...wow...I will share later...maybe....it's kinda like that excited 'I can't believe this!!!' (yay!) moment and that weird 'I can't believe this' (holy crap) moment! Lol.
Let's leave you with a quote...
"When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart. For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist.
I hope that all those bridges i burned light the way of all mankind to bigger and better things. For my family, No more troubles, No more fears. I close my eyes and think about all the joy. Silent night for a change."
Traum von einer besseren Welt
Oh wait...I remember....this pain in my side says my rib is broken...and I reinjured it today sometime when me, the kids, and the wal-mart buggy full of groceries decided to tromp through the pouring down rain to get to the Jeep. Nice.
So I'm taking leave from derby for awhile. Taking leave from any type of movement actually, except of course the cooking and cleaning I have to do and sewing work...and other non strenuous things...cause I have somewhere to be in 2 weeks and a broken rib isn't on the agenda.
I can't really notice if my knee still hurts, so I guess that is one good thing.
The bank people finally managed to be kind and get things done, even though it wasn't actually finished until today. So that is nice.
I'm hoping next month we will not be so broke...lol...in either sense!
I have a long list of 'to-do eventually' and 'hello, better get this done' which doesn't seem to be getting less and less...ugh....So if you are waiting on something that I am supposed to provide...as you can see, it might be not so efficiently delivered. I'm behind..like the bank people..and everyone else it seems. Be patient...I could always just not do it at all. Which is totally FINE with me, btw.
Well anyway....besides needing a helping hand to come clean this wreck of a house! (did I tell you I spent all weekend sewing up 14 appliques!) I also need someone to assist in getting me to get to work and not loiter on this computer. Also must be willing to help finish the rabbit hutch (which I totally was gonna work on had it not rained or been cold this weekend). Love my bunnies, but they are elite escape artists and evidently can fly...ahem...'jump good'. So sleeping outside and playing outside are much more efficient than running amok through the house all day long and most of the night since they don't seem to be able to understand that 4 feet make-shift walls are meant to keep them contained! ...love my bunnies....and I was gonna get them a girlfriend, but I haven't had time! and today the weather poured and wasn't about to drive out to get one...ugh...maybe tomorrow if I can move at all.
So..in other news...I haven't had any weird dreams, but I think that has more to do with being absolutely tired! and congested, and now broken. So I'm missing all that out of this world craziness...*sad panda.
A cool awesome friend of mine suggested that since I'm in pain...that I shouldn't buy any powered milk-laced doughnuts again...but that I should make brownies instead...so I did. Yeah, he didn't really put me up to it, I just like to give him credit anyway.
But they are cooling as I type....so even though I am still full from dinner...I'm going to go eat one once they are deemed handle-able....you bet I am.
Now...let's think up something more non-boring. Like priorities.
Ever have that feeling to where you do so much, but it seems nothing gets done efficiently? Sure you have. Well, this just so happens to mean that you have things that are taking precedence over what is really important. And this is my life. So be forewarned...I'm going to redecorange my priorities...well...more like actually do them in order instead of all over the place and neglect that which is at the top of the list. Not that I neglect the #1 slot....but I do #2 sometimes and majorly do #3 almost always....which isn't going to happen again. #4 gets cared for mostly too, #5 doesn't get neglected...at least not at the last minute. #6 and so-on....awfully do because the time in the day and time that I can even bare to look at them doesn't seem to exist. So everything not on the top 10 list will get deleted. Tough titties my friends. And if I just so happen to have 'time' to deal with anything else, I will let you know.....or not. ;)
I'm going to go now...I'm sure the brownies are edible...and since I am uber awesome...I want to sew up a smurf shirt for someone who would love to have it by the weekend (even though she knows that is next to impossible) and prove to her that nothing is impossible. Because I'm awesome and impossible only really says 'I'm Possible'.
I can't wait to get out of here and go to that fancy dinner.....barbeque thingy!!!
...o...m....gosh...I just freaked myself out...... and realized something.......um...wow...I will share later...maybe....it's kinda like that excited 'I can't believe this!!!' (yay!) moment and that weird 'I can't believe this' (holy crap) moment! Lol.
Let's leave you with a quote...
"When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart. For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist.
I hope that all those bridges i burned light the way of all mankind to bigger and better things. For my family, No more troubles, No more fears. I close my eyes and think about all the joy. Silent night for a change."
Traum von einer besseren Welt
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
High pressure....hahaha...yes, yes it is!
It's just before 1am EST.
Itunes just completed another round of sounds on my 'newest songs' playlist. Now in the background is piano music that is playing from yet another website page...because I'm a multitasker and there's no such thing as 1 tab open while I'm on the internet. I think I like piano music, but not happy piano music...the slow stuff that lingers beyond sound and maybe a few jumps in heartbeat too.
Did I say something about liking work lately..well, I changed my mind...I don't mind the creative 'let's create!' and the process of alchemy of transforming a thought into a object....I do however mind the time and energy that it takes to 'create' something. No wonder there is a day of rest at the end of the week. Too bad mine involves bike riding or grocery shopping instead of relaxing on the couch watching a movie or lounging in the lounge chair outside.
My knee is stiff from sewing since 9pm...my rib hurts too and I have no idea how that happened. I'm tired too, but I want to be here right now. there's something that is trying to come out, but I haven't the slightest clue what it is yet...patience.
Bank people busyness for the last two days of the week...but this is a good...no...wonderful thing. And I have at least 13 appliques to make before Friday....*gulp.
I have to call to make reservations tomorrow too...for our mini vacation. And hopefully keep myself from planning another trip until next year...in case the world really ends and all, haha! Well... I may need to go to the beach first...we'll see what we can work out :)
I think I'm feeling a tad bit empty...like there's this huge piece of 'something' that isn't allowing my cup to be filled...I have ideas in my mind what it is, but I know that it can probably never be filled in reality, at least not without numerous awkward moments and simple luck...
But, you know how it is....some people see the glass half empty if they are friends of negativity...some half full by the lovely folks of positivity, some just half way like the realist people who we would miss if they left....or we can choose to see it completely full like the boss man does...because in truth...it is completely full. Just cause you can't see what fills the space above the tangible liquid doesn't mean it's empty. So we can't see what's filling our lives above the things/people/events/etc. that we do recognize.
So I kinda taught this during school yesterday...and how you can turn the glass upside down in a bowl of water and it won't fill up...because there's already something in the glass. (yay, for air pressure!) And this is how our lives are.... completely filled by the one who made us. We just can't always see how, or know why, or understand all the time.
Yeah, I know it sounds overly lame to those of you who still manage to read this stupid blog and roll your eyes at anything that relates to more than the world. But' it's ok. I don't really care, I kinda enjoy the haters...it means I'm doing something right. One day you'll understand...one day real soon too.
I can smell it now....that smell of a grill. It's lit and getting warmed up....won't be too long before the barbeque gets placed on it to cook. Oooohh! Yum! and exciting too! We gonna have a party and you're invited! can't wait to see you there....well...I can't wait to see my family there...my invisible pretend adopted family of course!...and I guess my real family can come too....but don't make a scene without me ;)
Uh oh...Caesar just ran over to me..he wants to go to bed, I guess I gotta go put the rabid bunnies away for the night. Later lovelies...be a full cup and drink it up...you can't empty it while you're still in the world....
remember that...
Itunes just completed another round of sounds on my 'newest songs' playlist. Now in the background is piano music that is playing from yet another website page...because I'm a multitasker and there's no such thing as 1 tab open while I'm on the internet. I think I like piano music, but not happy piano music...the slow stuff that lingers beyond sound and maybe a few jumps in heartbeat too.
Did I say something about liking work lately..well, I changed my mind...I don't mind the creative 'let's create!' and the process of alchemy of transforming a thought into a object....I do however mind the time and energy that it takes to 'create' something. No wonder there is a day of rest at the end of the week. Too bad mine involves bike riding or grocery shopping instead of relaxing on the couch watching a movie or lounging in the lounge chair outside.
My knee is stiff from sewing since 9pm...my rib hurts too and I have no idea how that happened. I'm tired too, but I want to be here right now. there's something that is trying to come out, but I haven't the slightest clue what it is yet...patience.
Bank people busyness for the last two days of the week...but this is a good...no...wonderful thing. And I have at least 13 appliques to make before Friday....*gulp.
I have to call to make reservations tomorrow too...for our mini vacation. And hopefully keep myself from planning another trip until next year...in case the world really ends and all, haha! Well... I may need to go to the beach first...we'll see what we can work out :)
I think I'm feeling a tad bit empty...like there's this huge piece of 'something' that isn't allowing my cup to be filled...I have ideas in my mind what it is, but I know that it can probably never be filled in reality, at least not without numerous awkward moments and simple luck...
But, you know how it is....some people see the glass half empty if they are friends of negativity...some half full by the lovely folks of positivity, some just half way like the realist people who we would miss if they left....or we can choose to see it completely full like the boss man does...because in truth...it is completely full. Just cause you can't see what fills the space above the tangible liquid doesn't mean it's empty. So we can't see what's filling our lives above the things/people/events/etc. that we do recognize.
So I kinda taught this during school yesterday...and how you can turn the glass upside down in a bowl of water and it won't fill up...because there's already something in the glass. (yay, for air pressure!) And this is how our lives are.... completely filled by the one who made us. We just can't always see how, or know why, or understand all the time.
Yeah, I know it sounds overly lame to those of you who still manage to read this stupid blog and roll your eyes at anything that relates to more than the world. But' it's ok. I don't really care, I kinda enjoy the haters...it means I'm doing something right. One day you'll understand...one day real soon too.
I can smell it now....that smell of a grill. It's lit and getting warmed up....won't be too long before the barbeque gets placed on it to cook. Oooohh! Yum! and exciting too! We gonna have a party and you're invited! can't wait to see you there....well...I can't wait to see my family there...my invisible pretend adopted family of course!...and I guess my real family can come too....but don't make a scene without me ;)
Uh oh...Caesar just ran over to me..he wants to go to bed, I guess I gotta go put the rabid bunnies away for the night. Later lovelies...be a full cup and drink it up...you can't empty it while you're still in the world....
remember that...
Friday, May 4, 2012
It must be the coming supermoon
Now I'll tell you what is incredibly strange....
Bank people told me that when they get the paperwork from underwriting....then it'll only be 3-4 more days to do the closing. So they gave me a time frame of next week or possibly the week after... We shall see...we shall see...but I am getting all excited that it may only be 2 weeks until the world isn't trying to bury us...amen.
Want to know something else strange....I actually want to sell and make some amazing Disney custom sets....and I want to do it NOW! Somebody had better order something...I am feeling all 'Let's go sew some amazingness!" right now. Of course I still have work to do already..but being able to plan for more is kinda appealing......what is wrong with me! yikes!
And I think I just won $100!!! This may not be able to buy a Nikon D7000 with 18-200mm lens....but it is cool nonetheless!
Want to hear something else....strange.....I watch this facebook group that has a bunch of Disney-a-holics on it...and besides the fact that there was a huge launch with designers like me that sold sets for OUTRAGEOUS $$$$ (they weren't THAT great!) I kinda would like to go oneday to see what all the hubbub is about.
And that leads me to the fact that DisneyWorld has a homeschool discount thingy... like a huge discount which is like over $1200 cheaper than regular priced tickets.....this makes me go ....hmmmm....
Hubby has set up to take the last week of the month off...yeah, just out of the blue...thank you dear...so this means I need to plan something fun! Which in turn means we will be going to the Renn Fest that weekend...and then maybe go visit the Lost Sea...and possibly rafting!! Yay! I'm hoping I won;t have to use what's left of my camera fund for this 'I got the last week of the month off' vacation....or for the missing check that won;t come. But well...whitewater rafting is FUN! I don;t care what you say.
One of my bunnies Caesar is like really weird..he'll come running all happy like when you bring the plate of food with all the greens and stuff I load on it for him and Xavier, lol. He's like a little puppy! Xavier is still a little timid, but he's getting used to us bit by bit...he'll sit and munch on everything while we pet him. Yes, I spoil my little buddies. But they will need a girlfriend....
And I'll be picking up their new hutch supplies this weekend after our family bike ride, pool time, bowling, and shopping trips. Yay for happy bunnies!!!
And Coraline...oh my...that dog has earned the right to be tied up everytime I let the guineas out... sorry pup....but they eat ticks and you cannot eat them! So she goes to the tie out until I get them put away in the evening.
I won;t say that Isaac is innocent...as he watches her while she tries to eat/carry/pluck out their feathers...but I know he cannot catch them and have yet to ever see feathers in his mouth...so he is still my 'good boy' until further notice.
And I want to say that my wonderful handsome boy child....is such a good-hearted kid. I will leave it at that. Okay, both the kids are pretty great in their own way ;) I'm so blessed.
I guess I need to go get to work! I have a dress to finish! Wish me luck!
Bank people told me that when they get the paperwork from underwriting....then it'll only be 3-4 more days to do the closing. So they gave me a time frame of next week or possibly the week after... We shall see...we shall see...but I am getting all excited that it may only be 2 weeks until the world isn't trying to bury us...amen.
Want to know something else strange....I actually want to sell and make some amazing Disney custom sets....and I want to do it NOW! Somebody had better order something...I am feeling all 'Let's go sew some amazingness!" right now. Of course I still have work to do already..but being able to plan for more is kinda appealing......what is wrong with me! yikes!
And I think I just won $100!!! This may not be able to buy a Nikon D7000 with 18-200mm lens....but it is cool nonetheless!
Want to hear something else....strange.....I watch this facebook group that has a bunch of Disney-a-holics on it...and besides the fact that there was a huge launch with designers like me that sold sets for OUTRAGEOUS $$$$ (they weren't THAT great!) I kinda would like to go oneday to see what all the hubbub is about.
And that leads me to the fact that DisneyWorld has a homeschool discount thingy... like a huge discount which is like over $1200 cheaper than regular priced tickets.....this makes me go ....hmmmm....
Hubby has set up to take the last week of the month off...yeah, just out of the blue...thank you dear...so this means I need to plan something fun! Which in turn means we will be going to the Renn Fest that weekend...and then maybe go visit the Lost Sea...and possibly rafting!! Yay! I'm hoping I won;t have to use what's left of my camera fund for this 'I got the last week of the month off' vacation....or for the missing check that won;t come. But well...whitewater rafting is FUN! I don;t care what you say.
One of my bunnies Caesar is like really weird..he'll come running all happy like when you bring the plate of food with all the greens and stuff I load on it for him and Xavier, lol. He's like a little puppy! Xavier is still a little timid, but he's getting used to us bit by bit...he'll sit and munch on everything while we pet him. Yes, I spoil my little buddies. But they will need a girlfriend....
And I'll be picking up their new hutch supplies this weekend after our family bike ride, pool time, bowling, and shopping trips. Yay for happy bunnies!!!
And Coraline...oh my...that dog has earned the right to be tied up everytime I let the guineas out... sorry pup....but they eat ticks and you cannot eat them! So she goes to the tie out until I get them put away in the evening.
I won;t say that Isaac is innocent...as he watches her while she tries to eat/carry/pluck out their feathers...but I know he cannot catch them and have yet to ever see feathers in his mouth...so he is still my 'good boy' until further notice.
And I want to say that my wonderful handsome boy child....is such a good-hearted kid. I will leave it at that. Okay, both the kids are pretty great in their own way ;) I'm so blessed.
I guess I need to go get to work! I have a dress to finish! Wish me luck!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
that was incredibly strange....
Indeed.
You know when you refer to something specific....so specific that it can't be mistaken...
and then it just lays out with open arms the next day...and leaves you like feeling all "OMG! INCREDIBLE" WOW!
Yeah...it was one of those days....and I am kinda feeling the little tingling....oooohhhh...this is so cool (whacked) feeling...
Let me elaborate.
Me and the boss man who I have now changed to calling dad...or papa. ..or 'you who I'm not sure what I should call you, but you know who you are' ....had a kinda long discussion last night....because well, I told you we were going to, because things need cleared...so we'll call it.
Well....being specific as I usually am....and somewhat saying that being a 'star' isn't working that well...as I can do more..be more..offer more...so maybe instead be more like a sun....blazing...burning...radiant...like the sun...like the son.
weeeellll...so this blog I read...one of my adopted sister's blog... totally kinda...made my poor self go humblishly 'oh'.
See what happens...where I was...or what I am....is kinda perfect already...but my childish self thinks there's so much more...somewhere. But I'm getting in my own way.
Anyway....just thought I would mention one of my crazy wonderful moments that the boss man likes to throw my way every now and then. Maybe you have them too...you just can't see or something.
Now I also was thinking about someone in particular the other day too...and how weird it would be if I ran into them and what I would say to them considering I was just thinking of them....well..today...guess what happened...
Yep...I ran into them today...how...umm...weird!
They are awesome though, so no big deal...they've been on my 'hopeful to adopt' list for awhile.
So THAT was all fascinating!
In 'real' (boo) world stuff...I need to do sewing work..which I will do tomorrow...and hopefully finish that Alice in Wonderland dress...cause gosh!!! it's kinda hard ya know!
Then 2 dresses I need to put Doc McStuffin designs on over the weekend....another dress I get to put all the Mulan characters on (yay)..and then one little set that will be like a breeze since there's no applique work needed!
Then that's it unless I sell some Lady and the Tramp sets tomorrow...which would be great..because those aren't as hard as Alice in Wonderland by any stretch of the imagination!
And tomorrow is Friday which means payday...and I get to call the bank people again and find out more nothingness...cause they are slow..and underwriting is 'behind' on paperwork...whatever! I will harass these people until they say 'yes..closing is on so-and-so date'...or 'no..you suck go away'. I'm not really harassing them though...I'm being genuinely PATIENT!!!! (eye-twitch)
Well...I'm tired. I guess I have nothing awesome to share that I already haven't...cause today was awesome all because of Mr. OMG, INCREDIBLE! and his antics....oh...and that youtube video I watched that kinda made me go...wtf!? cause it totally hit that spot where it digs into that specificness....if you kwim....
And I'm sorry if I use 'bad' words... I'm trying to refrain... I blame those roller derby girls, lol. ;)
I gotta go!
Much love to my peeps who promise not to burn me at the stake....the bar-b-que comes soon enough...patience patience....He's just now starting the grill...
You know when you refer to something specific....so specific that it can't be mistaken...
and then it just lays out with open arms the next day...and leaves you like feeling all "OMG! INCREDIBLE" WOW!
Yeah...it was one of those days....and I am kinda feeling the little tingling....oooohhhh...this is so cool (whacked) feeling...
Let me elaborate.
Me and the boss man who I have now changed to calling dad...or papa. ..or 'you who I'm not sure what I should call you, but you know who you are' ....had a kinda long discussion last night....because well, I told you we were going to, because things need cleared...so we'll call it.
Well....being specific as I usually am....and somewhat saying that being a 'star' isn't working that well...as I can do more..be more..offer more...so maybe instead be more like a sun....blazing...burning...radiant...like the sun...like the son.
weeeellll...so this blog I read...one of my adopted sister's blog... totally kinda...made my poor self go humblishly 'oh'.
See what happens...where I was...or what I am....is kinda perfect already...but my childish self thinks there's so much more...somewhere. But I'm getting in my own way.
Anyway....just thought I would mention one of my crazy wonderful moments that the boss man likes to throw my way every now and then. Maybe you have them too...you just can't see or something.
Now I also was thinking about someone in particular the other day too...and how weird it would be if I ran into them and what I would say to them considering I was just thinking of them....well..today...guess what happened...
Yep...I ran into them today...how...umm...weird!
They are awesome though, so no big deal...they've been on my 'hopeful to adopt' list for awhile.
So THAT was all fascinating!
In 'real' (boo) world stuff...I need to do sewing work..which I will do tomorrow...and hopefully finish that Alice in Wonderland dress...cause gosh!!! it's kinda hard ya know!
Then 2 dresses I need to put Doc McStuffin designs on over the weekend....another dress I get to put all the Mulan characters on (yay)..and then one little set that will be like a breeze since there's no applique work needed!
Then that's it unless I sell some Lady and the Tramp sets tomorrow...which would be great..because those aren't as hard as Alice in Wonderland by any stretch of the imagination!
And tomorrow is Friday which means payday...and I get to call the bank people again and find out more nothingness...cause they are slow..and underwriting is 'behind' on paperwork...whatever! I will harass these people until they say 'yes..closing is on so-and-so date'...or 'no..you suck go away'. I'm not really harassing them though...I'm being genuinely PATIENT!!!! (eye-twitch)
Well...I'm tired. I guess I have nothing awesome to share that I already haven't...cause today was awesome all because of Mr. OMG, INCREDIBLE! and his antics....oh...and that youtube video I watched that kinda made me go...wtf!? cause it totally hit that spot where it digs into that specificness....if you kwim....
And I'm sorry if I use 'bad' words... I'm trying to refrain... I blame those roller derby girls, lol. ;)
I gotta go!
Much love to my peeps who promise not to burn me at the stake....the bar-b-que comes soon enough...patience patience....He's just now starting the grill...
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
start over....
Today is Wednesday...at least I'm pretty sure it is anyway...hmmm
Finished an outfit..yay! I hope I make some sales on it this weekend...cause I am flipping broke! Of course I have 5 sets in the making still, but this is an awesome one that might make me some cashola. And since the bank people have taken a whole freakin' month to do their 'paperwork' crap and are 'behind' so they say...we still gotta make payments on bunches of stuff....I'm gonna have to have a deep 'let's get this to hurry' convo with the boss man....cause man o' man...my 'camera' fund has went from $1000 to $400...and now I need like $1200 more just to have a chance at buying that Nikon D7000 with 18-200mm lens that no one will help me buy.....cause evidently you are offended by my conspiracy to put all photographers within 50 miles out of business.....I guess that makes you my enemy then. I will remember how no one offered any sort of 'help' be it positive reinforcement, money, or "I want to watch your competition burn" cheers...when I make enough moolah to buy a vacation to Australia....for 10 people...
oh...but wait...you won't be one of them going with me.
Anyway...besides my detrimental finances that are always paid on time, every time..and the slow ass bank people...and my $4.55 in paypal...I'm pretty good actually.
My 2 week long sickness is fading away, though a lingering sparatic cough likes to jump in and say hello every now and then...sometimes for a whole 10 minutes, lol. We will miss each other...not.
I've been planning plans....but nothing serious as of yet...I guess it depends on the world and if it wants to argue or not. And for the kids to make some decisions..and hubby too. I'm ready to go either way...good for me :)
Caesar is the best bunny ever! He's such a ham...and Xavier is so silly, but he's still a little timid. They are such good bunnies!!! Wish I could say that much for the dog...grrrr....Coraline is on my list of...'it would be okay if you ran away and never came back'...we won't talk about it....I'm trying to not let that raging angry 'I'm gonna kill you stupid dog' feeling from coming back...
You'd think that if we are in good company with the boss man that we wouldn't suddenly fall prey to that deep dark rage that somehow survived all the nice lovely cleansing and refreshing nice stuff...you'd think that it should have died after not being used in a very long time. You'd think we wouldn't forget how we are part of a better world...we wouldn't forget so quickly and carelessly when the rage flies from its hidden cavern. You would think we would care to be a better person when those times expose themselves....but we do not...and we do not even want to consider it until the moment has died down and the rage folds under the pressure of us forcing it to flee.
Can we not logically 'think' our way out of it...or is it because we have to use a part of the brain that relies upon imaginary thinking...which only works once the natural part of the brain can be controlled. does this mean that things we feel we should do...good things...things for the boss man...that they are false..imaginary...all of it fake and a made up world of trying to be good so we can go somewhere happy when we die.....
Maybe. But I'm glad I don't rely on any of that.
Yay, for simplicity.
It's all a sham...everything you've been told by those crazy people who want you to go to lala land. Crazy people are funny, but they are not going to help you do anything...or go anywhere. Think about it for awhile. Then go clear your chakras and let it all go...cause there's only one thing that matters...and you my friend will have to figure out what that is yourself.
Boring!!! Let's talk about something awesome. ....hmmmm
ooh...I just sold something..lol...yes I am multitasking! This blog gets BORING! unless I have something good to write...or I think of something good to write while I'm multitasking :P
I'm troubled....you see...I have this ability to want to stay home and just 'be' home...instead of go out and do something. But there's many 'somethings' that kinda are getting in the way of the staying home thing. I don't mind the girl's music class...and I don't mind if the boy actually ever thinks of something he'd like to do...but that would be like twice...and the 3rd time would be shopping and family stuff on Saturday...and then roller derby...which is twice a week...so that would be 5 out of seven...and I can drop to four just to save face and appease the hubby, or hopefully if the boy picks a day when there's already something else then it would stay at 3...I can do 3....but 4 or more is gonna have to give somehow...I am a homebody...most of the time anyway...but only because everything is so freaking far away! and gas is expensive..and we have school and work and work and housecleaning and pets and other stuff I'm forgetting.
Ugh...this is getting so boring.
I'm outta here...everyone sucks today...even you...even me. goodbye.
You don't know me.
You don't even care.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start over.
Where no one knows my name.
Where no one knows my name.
Finished an outfit..yay! I hope I make some sales on it this weekend...cause I am flipping broke! Of course I have 5 sets in the making still, but this is an awesome one that might make me some cashola. And since the bank people have taken a whole freakin' month to do their 'paperwork' crap and are 'behind' so they say...we still gotta make payments on bunches of stuff....I'm gonna have to have a deep 'let's get this to hurry' convo with the boss man....cause man o' man...my 'camera' fund has went from $1000 to $400...and now I need like $1200 more just to have a chance at buying that Nikon D7000 with 18-200mm lens that no one will help me buy.....cause evidently you are offended by my conspiracy to put all photographers within 50 miles out of business.....I guess that makes you my enemy then. I will remember how no one offered any sort of 'help' be it positive reinforcement, money, or "I want to watch your competition burn" cheers...when I make enough moolah to buy a vacation to Australia....for 10 people...
oh...but wait...you won't be one of them going with me.
Anyway...besides my detrimental finances that are always paid on time, every time..and the slow ass bank people...and my $4.55 in paypal...I'm pretty good actually.
My 2 week long sickness is fading away, though a lingering sparatic cough likes to jump in and say hello every now and then...sometimes for a whole 10 minutes, lol. We will miss each other...not.
I've been planning plans....but nothing serious as of yet...I guess it depends on the world and if it wants to argue or not. And for the kids to make some decisions..and hubby too. I'm ready to go either way...good for me :)
Caesar is the best bunny ever! He's such a ham...and Xavier is so silly, but he's still a little timid. They are such good bunnies!!! Wish I could say that much for the dog...grrrr....Coraline is on my list of...'it would be okay if you ran away and never came back'...we won't talk about it....I'm trying to not let that raging angry 'I'm gonna kill you stupid dog' feeling from coming back...
You'd think that if we are in good company with the boss man that we wouldn't suddenly fall prey to that deep dark rage that somehow survived all the nice lovely cleansing and refreshing nice stuff...you'd think that it should have died after not being used in a very long time. You'd think we wouldn't forget how we are part of a better world...we wouldn't forget so quickly and carelessly when the rage flies from its hidden cavern. You would think we would care to be a better person when those times expose themselves....but we do not...and we do not even want to consider it until the moment has died down and the rage folds under the pressure of us forcing it to flee.
Can we not logically 'think' our way out of it...or is it because we have to use a part of the brain that relies upon imaginary thinking...which only works once the natural part of the brain can be controlled. does this mean that things we feel we should do...good things...things for the boss man...that they are false..imaginary...all of it fake and a made up world of trying to be good so we can go somewhere happy when we die.....
Maybe. But I'm glad I don't rely on any of that.
Yay, for simplicity.
It's all a sham...everything you've been told by those crazy people who want you to go to lala land. Crazy people are funny, but they are not going to help you do anything...or go anywhere. Think about it for awhile. Then go clear your chakras and let it all go...cause there's only one thing that matters...and you my friend will have to figure out what that is yourself.
Boring!!! Let's talk about something awesome. ....hmmmm
ooh...I just sold something..lol...yes I am multitasking! This blog gets BORING! unless I have something good to write...or I think of something good to write while I'm multitasking :P
I'm troubled....you see...I have this ability to want to stay home and just 'be' home...instead of go out and do something. But there's many 'somethings' that kinda are getting in the way of the staying home thing. I don't mind the girl's music class...and I don't mind if the boy actually ever thinks of something he'd like to do...but that would be like twice...and the 3rd time would be shopping and family stuff on Saturday...and then roller derby...which is twice a week...so that would be 5 out of seven...and I can drop to four just to save face and appease the hubby, or hopefully if the boy picks a day when there's already something else then it would stay at 3...I can do 3....but 4 or more is gonna have to give somehow...I am a homebody...most of the time anyway...but only because everything is so freaking far away! and gas is expensive..and we have school and work and work and housecleaning and pets and other stuff I'm forgetting.
Ugh...this is getting so boring.
I'm outta here...everyone sucks today...even you...even me. goodbye.
You don't know me.
You don't even care.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start over.
Where no one knows my name.
Where no one knows my name.
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