start over....

Today is Wednesday...at least I'm pretty sure it is anyway...hmmm
Finished an outfit..yay! I hope I make some sales on it this weekend...cause I am flipping broke! Of course I have 5 sets in the making still, but this is an awesome one that might make me some cashola. And since the bank people have taken a whole freakin' month to do their 'paperwork' crap and are 'behind' so they say...we still gotta make payments on bunches of stuff....I'm gonna have to have a deep 'let's get this to hurry' convo with the boss man....cause man o' man...my 'camera' fund has went from $1000 to $400...and now I need like $1200 more just to have a chance at buying that Nikon D7000 with 18-200mm lens that no one will help me buy.....cause evidently you are offended by my conspiracy to put all photographers within 50 miles out of business.....I guess that makes you my enemy then. I will remember how no one offered any sort of 'help' be it positive reinforcement, money, or "I want to watch your competition burn" cheers...when I make enough moolah to buy a vacation to Australia....for 10 people...
oh...but wait...you won't be one of them going with me.

Anyway...besides my detrimental finances that are always paid on time, every time..and the slow ass bank people...and my $4.55 in paypal...I'm pretty good actually.
My 2 week long sickness is fading away, though a lingering sparatic cough likes to jump in and say hello every now and then...sometimes for a whole 10 minutes, lol. We will miss each other...not.
I've been planning plans....but nothing serious as of yet...I guess it depends on the world and if it wants to argue or not. And for the kids to make some decisions..and hubby too. I'm ready to go either way...good for me :)

Caesar is the best bunny ever! He's such a ham...and Xavier is so silly, but he's still a little timid. They are such good bunnies!!! Wish I could say that much for the dog...grrrr....Coraline is on my list of...'it would be okay if you ran away and never came back'...we won't talk about it....I'm trying to not let that raging angry 'I'm gonna kill you stupid dog' feeling from coming back...

You'd think that if we are in good company with the boss man that we wouldn't suddenly fall prey to that deep dark rage that somehow survived all the nice lovely cleansing and refreshing nice stuff...you'd think that it should have died after not being used in a very long time. You'd think we wouldn't forget how we are part of a better world...we wouldn't forget so quickly and carelessly when the rage flies from its hidden cavern. You would think we would care to be a better person when those times expose themselves....but we do not...and we do not even want to consider it until the moment has died down and the rage folds under the pressure of us forcing it to flee.
Can we not logically 'think' our way out of it...or is it because we have to use a part of the brain that relies upon imaginary thinking...which only works once the natural part of the brain can be controlled. does this mean that things we feel we should do...good things...things for the boss man...that they are false..imaginary...all of it fake and a made up world of trying to be good so we can go somewhere happy when we die.....
Maybe. But I'm glad I don't rely on any of that.
Yay, for simplicity.
It's all a sham...everything you've been told by those crazy people who want you to go to lala land. Crazy people are funny, but they are not going to help you do anything...or go anywhere. Think about it for awhile. Then go clear your chakras and let it all go...cause there's only one thing that matters...and you my friend will have to figure out what that is yourself.

Boring!!! Let's talk about something awesome. ....hmmmm
ooh...I just sold something..lol...yes I am multitasking! This blog gets BORING! unless I have something good to write...or I think of something good to write while I'm multitasking :P

I'm troubled....you see...I have this ability to want to stay home and just 'be' home...instead of go out and do something. But there's many 'somethings' that kinda are getting in the way of the staying home thing. I don't mind the girl's music class...and I don't mind if the boy actually ever thinks of something he'd like to do...but that would be like twice...and the 3rd time would be shopping and family stuff on Saturday...and then roller derby...which is twice a week...so that would be 5 out of seven...and I can drop to four just to save face and appease the hubby, or hopefully if the boy picks a day when there's already something else then it would stay at 3...I can do 3....but 4 or more is gonna have to give somehow...I am a homebody...most of the time anyway...but only because everything is so freaking far away! and gas is expensive..and we have school and work and work and housecleaning and pets and other stuff I'm forgetting.
Ugh...this is getting so boring.
I'm outta here...everyone sucks today...even you...even me. goodbye.


You don't know me.
You don't even care.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start over.
Where no one knows my name.
Where no one knows my name.