Tangled up in Virginia

Watched Tangled today......it was sad and sappy and happy and good...lol...yeah, and it was only my 4th time watching it, lol. God, what's wrong with me?! It's way too soon to be feeling all girly and crap, ugh!
Finally finished the fairy sets that needed done...yay! And tomorrow I need to tackle the circus set, but as of right now, that doesn't look too frightening.

RLet me send out a note of worthwhile forewarning.....FedEX is just as bad as the Post office! The post office wonderful job (NOT) speaks for itself...but when Fedex decides they don't want to do their entire job to deliver to your door, they have this thing where they drop your package off at the post office instead. (Like that helps!) So I have this package that accidentally got shipped to my old address.....to be delivered through fedex Monday....I call them to tell them I have a change of address and to not deliver it there...they say it is at that post office because they don't deliver, lol. So the post office will then send it back to Virginia where it will then get reshipped to me here....eventually with no way to track it, of course. Like my 3 lost books that are still lost in post office land. Perfect.
I will stick by the big brown trucks that say UPS!!! Fedex can go out of business along with the usps postal service! Then some people around here can start their own business that is not controlled by the federal government so maybe it will actually work right!
Well...that is until that healthcare law thing gets passed and companies can't afford it....oh wait...that's right...we're in Tennessee here...aren't we seceding or something.....yeah whatever, like that will ever happen!
Would that mean that if my mortgage company is in a non seceding state that I won't have to pay them anymore? Lol.

I'm going to work on my photoshoot set up tomorrow too. As I think the neighbor is gonna give me a few old pieces of wood to use for my wall hanging thingy. YAY! Photoshoot this weekend! Whoo!

Today...I think I heard 2 people talk about stars and burning.....the thing I wrote about the last 2 days....and this stuff freaks me out when it is exactly what I wrote....would this be considered 2 confirmations or 2 witnesses.....
I pretty much just take it as an 'omg' moment and get a little excited and such cause it's just another sign signalling that we're closer to where we want to be....I'm sure you know what I mean.

Lol....I hope you have seen Tangled....I just read something on facebook about how people give up on their dreams because of how others will feel or their own egos...and I kept remembering how Rapunzel started singing in the bar about 'I have a dream' and of course all the hooligans sang too and it makes me realize that having a dream is what most people really need. I often find that many people don't have one, they don't know, they don't care, they're not sure, they don't have time, they can't, or some other forsaken reason they created in order not to do what they love.....and I'm not sure why. they live day in and day out without aim or goal....without joy.
They will say they are happy....but happiness is not the same as joy. Happiness is brought on by happenstance. It can be taken away when the circumstances aren't in your favor......
But JOY.....no....if you have something that brings joy....it can't ever be lost. Of course, there's one main way to get joy....and that is to ask for it.... Ask Mr. OMG, INCREDIBLE. Ask the boss man....ask Batman. And if you still have no clue who that one person is after reading my stupid blog posts....all three of them are the same person. You may know Him as Jesus... but He has many names.....I just happen to call Him a select few things, lol. He doesn't mind. I asked. ;)

Now the person I call 'my really good friend'....he is someone else. Maybe when I don't feel like I'm on the verge of insanity, I will tell you more about him.....but as of right now, I'm still shy when it comes to telling people about him. He's my very good friend....we'll leave it at that.
Of course, hubby is my friend too, but he gets bored of my spiritual thoughts...and assumes everything I say I read on facebook, lol. God love him.

So anyway.....I guess I need to get off here and prepare for some much needed sleep.
I would tell you about a dream I had, but I can't remember what it was about, I only remember waking up suddenly and glad I got out of it, but no clue as to what it was about...I guess that's good. :)

Nothing else that needs skimmed over for tonight...though I feel something big is going to happen soon....stay alert.

Talk to you all later, little gushy tenderloins of pickled french fries and jambalaya juice. Don't choke on that lion tart.

The disadvantages of having adhd (Alle Dagen Heel Druk)

I can't seem to find it.
That moment when you step away from the reactive pull towards idleness. I think I'm trapped.
I would do anything other than the one thing I should be doing....
Not that I don't want to do it...just that I can't find a reason to begin....

Once started it is quite easy to complete....but why is it so difficult to take that first step towards starting in the first place? I could even lie to myself and say I'll only do this one simple thing and not the rest....but I won't even do that....
I hate these times.
It's almost like the other times when I want to do 'this' thing, but won't, because of 'something'.
It's a freaking curse I tell you!
And on top of that I'm drowning in this hysteria of non decision making that is totally not working out very well. I feel like a freaking flip flopper! Argh! A double-minded idiot who just can't make up my mind...or to better describe, I just can't find the 100% mark to where I'm 100% sure. Lost in the fog, if you'd like.

Problem is I know how to fix this.... and I have yet to even handle that one simple action.

There's this burning desire to just fire up the rage inside and prove that it is just me getting in my own way. Prove that it can be done simply, perfectly, quickly, and without turmoil. But I feel myself just watching myself instead of being able to direct myself.... get that?


And there's this other thing lingering on my thoughts. Which I also know how to fix....but I can't find myself to make myself do it....hmmmm.

I will be away for awhile. And you may not find me.
I will be away for awhile. And you may not recognize me when I return.
I may be away for awhile. And fire will be pouring out, blazing raging furious lightning.....



We are alone. Each one of us. Each star, all alone.
There are other stars, true....many in fact....their light dazzling the skies every so often....then forgotten. Do we even know which one sent that light to us? We don't even know their names....only recognizing the light...but not the star...
A star all alone.
Do they all feel that way?

And I'm not talking about literal stars...not literal light... I'm talking about people...I'm talking about the beautiful gifts that come from them. The gift of the light...that part of us that is a part of Him.
Like you hear a song that grabs hold of you...that light. A picture that holds your eyes locked tightly to it....that light. A thought that carves deep to your soul...that light. It doesn't matter which star brought those perfect moments to you...it doesn't matter...the only thing you needed was that light.....that piece that holds Him somewhere within it.
Do you understand? Please understand.


I won't go there.....there where the others often lead. I won't go there....as I often think they hinder more than help. Here you will not find sweet milk and tummy rubs full of giggles. Here, there will be no remembrances of how this or that happened and it's happening to you now, oohs and ahhs....No. There will be not a single moment where you'll be pampered and felt sorry for. No, you will not be tread upon lightly....if you feel tread upon at all. There will be no mercy....no holding the baby's hand. No reassurances and baby steps, no 'it'll be okay''s, no whining toddler talk about how you must do this or that.... the milk has run dry...and it is a sad sad world in which others still give the bottle of lies to the infants who have never stood strong. Infants who couldn't recognize the light if it fell upon their lap. Infants and toddlers who can't hear His voice. ......The milk has run dry.... and you will starve unless you stand and chew the meat.

Can you not feel a thing?! Can no one feel a thing?! Does not your spirit feel this mighty quake?! Trembling trembling..... This great earthquake....this fire....???!!!
Where have you placed your soul my friends? Have you lost it? I won't be here much longer, I can't pull you out. I can't wake you up. I can't scream, I can't grab hold of you if you are not here. I can't come back for you either.
Please wake up.


Want to hear a story.... I may have posted this one before, but I really love it, so I'm going to post it again.


We were standing upon what looked like the salt flats that are out west. A blazing sky of orange and red that told of a new sunrise that was just about to sprout in the distance.
Where have these colors been? They looked new, young, vibrant, and alive. He took my hand and we began to dance. We danced...
He was wearing a suit. Nice, fitted, pristine... My dress was flowing, white, smooth, silent even as we danced.
We twirled on top of the white sands. The sky still blazing orange and red. A small streak of yellow cut forth upward from where the sun was rising...Was it rising in the west??
"Give me all of you, and I will give you all of me." He stated as we moved within each others arms.
I stopped and looked at him...his eyes.
"But you are...everything." I said quietly. Because he was, and I was nothing. I didn't think it was a fair trade....he would get the worse end of the deal. He slowed and gazed within me. "And what are you to me?"

Was I everything too? Everything to Him.
How little we realize.....
How much we forget.....


If you would like to read more of that stuff and those type stories....my deviantart journal is here....


Goodnight. Wherever the road leads...be sure to look into the forest for those whom are lost. No fun driving alone.


BTW.... Alle Dagen Heel Druk (adhd) means 'very busy every day' ;)

A rainbow of people.....burning like fire...in the dark

Abundance: and this is what He showed me. Pouring out from His hands...pouring out upon one another...abundance...abundance. All these gifts, too many to count...can we even see them all, the ones hidden beneath the ones toppling
“I come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly.”

Indeed.
I'm on the fence today. Partly lost in this ever growing consummation of the dream and the life. Walking tediously between being awake and being awake....not sure which is really the one I should be following after.
Then I'm still caught up upon the fence post dangling partly on the other side. Where you can see everything moving about day by day by day...and not wanting to see it. As perhaps it has no course, no aim, no final destination to lay its head.
Would you understand?

I was once brought into a dream. Where people wearing brightly cast clothing crowded inside this building across the way. So I, wearing something not quite comparing with them wanted to see and followed them into this huge building. This building that happened to be a massive church, or that's what I thought it was, but it was more like a theater auditorium like setting. People in the bright colors walked around finding their seats, as others up near the stage were preparing a display of what appeared to be the Jesus' crucifixion. There was a large wooden cross up on the stage and I looked closer and Jesus was on it. But not like the statue ones you really see in big churches, it was Him. And He knew I was looking at Him and He looked back at me and I kinda tensed because I was the one who wasn't supposed to be there. I was the one who didn't fit in, who didn't match and certainly wasn't invited into this place. He jumped down and started walking off the stage and turned up the aisle my way. ....yes, so I was freaking there a bit thinking I'm gonna get slaughtered for being in here! But I couldn't move...(of course not).
He kept coming closer and the people walking on the aisle way parted out of His way and were bowing and just kinda watching silently and me, who still couldn't move saw He was like super close now and I fell on my face. Yeah, like the 'holy shit I'm gonna get in trouble' kinda thing.
I was looking down at the floor, practically kissing it and He stopped in front of me. So yeah, my heart is frantically racing and I remember looking upwards sorta and could see His bloody dirty feet. It was kinda gross, yeah.
But He stood there and I eventually looked up and He was wanting me to stand up and come over next to Him at the back of the theater church place. So I did. He sat in a chair and started talking....I kept thinking that I need to remember what He's saying so I can take it back with me (I guess I knew it was a dream by then, or that I wouldn't be staying or something). Kept trying to hang on every word and memorize what all He was saying.
Everyone in the place who was wearing the bright colors just started gathering around Him and sat on the floor and listened. The people in the theater/church seats were turned around in there seats looking over the backs of their chairs also listening. It was weird.
I will say that I didn't remember a single thing of what He was talking about, but only that after I asked Him what I was supposed to do....I remember only that which He said. He said... "Whatever it is that divides the world between you." ....
Him and answering questions with questions.....why does He do that!!!? It drives me batty.
Anyway....that is the only thing I could remember He said.

So it's been a few years....I guess. And this memory splatters it's face lately and I'm not sure why. Wondering if dividing your own life is really what we are to do. These little answer questions usually aren't so difficult to understand, but somehow when I think I understand it never quite fits. Close though... Just not sure which part to divide...of course the right and wrong, the good and bad, the wheat and tares....the sheep and goats....but no...there's something more. The truth and the lie. And we are still waiting on the rest of the puzzle pieces.
Abundance. And what is this about? I understand what it means, but what now....work to be done, yes....pouring out.....like fire....like purification....but the whole world has grown cold and I am tired of being here.
One little star can't light the world....only the dark space where she's placed.

And I'm shining all alone...where are you brothers and sisters? Still hiding waiting for the end to come? Still mumbling beneath your breath because no one listens...still placing that lie across your face because the light feels like it's burning you from the inside out? It is burning you.....This is the second death.


Funny how writing puts things into perspective especially when you didn't intend to write of such matters....kinda like you yourself aren't the one writing it, but somehow it comes out that way....and you reread it and go 'wtf, that totally makes sense! I didn't think of it that way!' ...because I'm not sure I'm always the one writing anymore.
And I think when we divide ourselves apart...where we dispose of what is lie and we get rid of the what does not belong...and we embrace the part of us that has never forgotten....we find ourselves having come far past where the veil ends....and we find ourselves among the stars. And somehow this life here on earth no longer seems like 'life'. Just a dream caught in the ocean...the reflection of His light that emits from ourselves.....if only we would let it.
Open up....



I can't be here all day....so let us humor this so called life down here on earth where flesh mingles with insanity and chaos.....
I sent out like 7 packages today...still have a few more fairies to sew up and then to tackle a circus set that needs finished Friday. I would like to say that I will get this done, but my productivity levels come and go and that idea of 'I think I can, I think I can' is a load of bull. I can think I can and say I will all damn day but I guarantee you that the only way it will ever get done is if I do it!
Which I will, lol.
Positive thinking is a lie! Only action gets things done.....so I am gonna go to sleep, so tomorrow I can try again. Later bunnies of pumpkin pie.

A friend...and a christmas tree

Last night I had so many things to write about, but I talked myself into staying in bed and not getting up to write on a stupid blog that no one reads anyway. I think by now I have forgotten a few of those things I should have written about....but you're in luck. I remember 2 (and they are the most important anyway), but I also think I have another to include as well....so if this seems long to you, I guess you'll get over it.


I have this very good friend. The kind that simply turns rather difficult frustrating things into simple, 'oh duh!' things instead. This is why they are a very good friend.
So there was this moment I was having....where you're standing in this dark place....(I use metaphors ALOT! So if you don't get it, I guess you won't get it.) A place where you are screaming like a tired and cranky and spoiled 9 year old....to where you know what you want, exactly what you want and you won't accept anything else because it is not what you know you are looking for. A place where you are angry and frustrated and just want to strangle the air between what you want and yourself....yes strangle the air to remove it. Strangle the air, strangle the body and literately put to death everything that is standing in the void. Where you know exactly what you are here to seek and then being swarmed by thousands of things that you know are not that which you came to see. Knowing who you came to see...and this air is in the way...this body, that body, the air....all these lies....this veil.
And I ramble on in a fit because I continue to forget that who I came to see isn't anywhere out there....anywhere out there.....
So this friend of mine, smacks me in the head.... "What are you doing?" ...with this serious gaze of 'hello cuckoo bird'. And I look over and complain about how you can't strangle the air or destroy this void...
"Why are you looking out there?" Confused look as he glances 'that' way....
"Oh." ...duh...what am I looking at over there, that way, up there, somewhere out there, thatta way..... and I remember once again....thank you friend.
So I revert back to something less tantrum inducing and more understandable and simple and find who I'm looking for....standing there all quiet like...as He is most of the time anyway....
Did He say saomething? I can't remember...but He knelt down and brought His forehead to mine and I think we 'went' somewhere...I can't explain that, I have no clue, I don't remember. Damn amnesia.

Yeah, so those were the 2 things in one....not explaining, so if you read and are going 'huh??' then you are just out of luck.
I noticed today that my neighbor's address numbers are 911....and no, I don't think that has anything to do with anything. Just stating a random 'oh' moment.

We went trick-or-treating with the kids too.....Yes we trick-or-treat and wear costumes...well I didn't this year...but most of the time I do. And I don't care if some of you out there think it's of the devil 'hissss', lol. If you feel like educating yourself before thinking everything outside of your box (prison) please go to google and look up Halloween....ugh. I will not educated idiots....as I prefer to lean on the side of ...Let those who are stupid, continue to be stupid. Anyway, I asked the boss man before and we are cool thank you. You don't have to though, no big deal, I don't care. good for you.
Of course I do enjoy a nit pick fight about Christmas now and then. I can't stand it, but I will buy random stuff when it is on sale, cause it is on sale! And I will wrap stuff up and give it away, cause its fun cleaning up the mess, and even though I do not own a big green tree, I do have some small neon colored ones, and a black one too, lol. I'm not pagan though, they're just freaking plastic look like really bad colored trees. Jesus wasn't born in December anyway....educate yourselves....Christmas was a coverup so the pagans could keep their winter solstice party and wouldn't get beheaded by the crusades....among other things. Santa Claus is just stupid. St. Nicholas was a person, and no reindeer do not fly, but if you are flying overhead in a helicopter they look like they aren't touching the snow while running :)
The tooth fairy is only real when you loose a tooth and get money...and the Halloween fairy is real, because my kids cannot keep and eat all that candy on their own, lol....gosh people get a life, live it. Let people do things the way they want to. So long as they aren't hurting someone else, shut up. If they don't want to do it your way, great! Kids won't grow up to be savages.....unless of course you don't parent them and rely on their peers to raise them....but that's another story in itself, lol.


Oh dang...I remember another thing...
There was this big huge gate (like a castle gate)...it was reddish in color and raising up slowly, and these big huge bugs came out of it, but they had faces...kinda like alien faces with big eyes, but had noses and mouths...I'm not sure if they were riding these huge grasshopper things or they were the grasshopper things??? I was standing at the gate as it lifted and these things started coming out, a few of them stopped to look at me but continued on. I tried to see more...but as of right now I can't rememeber all of it...argh!
BUT I think that whole idea about the first being last and the last being first had something to do with the gate....and the way people actively seek certain things and others only take into account what comes their way....kwim? Whether you put things on hold to do other things or actively embrace them now defines how long it will be when you are allowed in??maybe? idk.

My hands are freezing! It's cold down here. Gotta go.

Chocolate....why does all chocolate candy have milk in it?? :( WHY!? AHHHH!!!

How come my 'yay' 's are all underlined in red?

Some people just need slapped.
Mainly those who appear to be legit people, but you find them truthfully to be rather rude and indigent....or whatever that word is...
Those type people slowly cause me to turn into a very unfriendly and very unaccommodating person. I guess this is a sign to sear my way in the direction I need to go and not hesitate to set fire to those whom can't handle the heat.
Let them burn.
Last thing I'm going to do is miss an opportunity because I was being too nice and understanding with someone else's stupidity.

Whew! That feels better.....what else....
It's freaking cold outside!...and actually kinda chilly in here.... :P ...and no, not just my cold heart, haha.
Trick or treating may not be very fun unless I can come up with something extremely warm to wear! Brrr! Dang, the crap I go through to let the kids get candy I can't even eat...perfect.
I guess I can't compare that to that black dress I made in about 2 hours and spent $$ to buy fabric....all for a 15 minute photoshoot... Lol.... see where my priorities lie.... sorry but my wonderful Nikon was needing some time out of it's bag.
My long lost books are still lost, but lulu.com was kind enough to resend out my order for free, and they will get here Wednesday..which is a problem because piano class was rescheduled to Wednesday and guess who won't be home....argh....and Fed Ex needs you to be home...and I was only waiting 45 days so far for these books and I definitely do not want to miss them!!!! Maybe reschedule the piano.... for the sake of my books?? Since I can't start on Book 3 until I'm sure Book 2 isn't messed up.....hrmmm

Hubby fixed the dryer...at least temporarily, yay! Painted the boy's dresser...yay! Successfully accomplished school work for over a week without disruption...yay! It actually does go a lot smoother when you no longer keep a track record! Yay!
And I bought lots of seal-able canisters at hobby lobby last week....and in a few days, they will be filled with deliciousness! Like cookie stuff and muffin stuff and all that stuff that makes you excited that it's already pre mixed and it won't take near as long to prep and bake! Yay!
Of course though...this may make me fat....
Did you see the moon.....quite awesome this night I would say.
I would say if I had someone to say it to anyway....I'm so bored and lonely....and I should be working or at least preparing stuff to work tomorrow, which I had better freaking do or I'm going to slap myself. At least the applique work anyway gosh! I'm such a slacker, lol. I don't have time to do that crap right now.....well, maybe I do have time, but not time I'm willing to give. I may need to hire people again....this job sucks, haha.

I probably have more to say...but my hands are freezing, so I will wait until tomorrow when I can turn the heater on super high without getting ugly looks from the hubs.
Be good....be at peace...and know that your redemption draweth nigh.

lol.....did you know that 11-6 upside down makes... 9-11... and it's election day...and Saturn is born out of Virgo.... something to think about...or research if you are having fun with the end of the world stuff and rapture and antichrist stuff.... No bad dreams lately though...unless you count the fact that last night I dreamt I had 2 of the same kid and one I found in a trash compacter??!!....whatever!

Later peeps!

It is kinda dry out....

Want to hear some irony.....I bet you do.
So yesterday was laundry day (not that everyday can't be laundry day, but I have maybe 6 loads that needed washed/dried, so it was important for it to be such.
So the first two loads went as well as could be considering my dryer takes 1 hour and 30 minutes to actually dry a whole load.
Then the next load was in and the dryer was turned on and the thing would heat up just fine, but wouldn't turn....hmmm.
So I pushed it and it worked...for that load.
This got worse on the fourth load, and by the fifth, it wouldn't turn at all unless it was just a few tees/socks/lightweight stuff in it. Might as well forget it if you want to put jeans in there.
So, hubby needs to fix it today or there will be trouble.
I would happily go buy a new set....those fancy kinda that wash and dry a whole load in less than 30 minutes.....but alas....I can't until the new refrigerator is paid off.
So my day was fun. We did school, which I'm not sure, but math teaching sucks when you taught it 50,000 times and still the child forgets over and over.....argh.
My dishwasher is in. I had one before, but I liked my other one from the old house...and I have it here now! yay!
Other than that, yesterday was kinda blah...except for dinner, that was good.

Today.....I need to sew those things I should have done Monday or Tuesday....
Which I will.....but I need to go pick up a zipper from Hobby Lobby.
I have to meet to drop off an outfit and cd too. School too of course...and try to get that math to click in this child's head....something. Maybe work on that art board I really want done too.

So something important....to...write...about......
I'm not sure I have something. hmmm.
No new freaky dreams or coincidences. No mysterious happenings. No incredible awesome moments to share. No end of the world fluctuations. No gripes or complaints. No kudos or congrats either.....Well, maybe one gripe....I want to go take pictures and haven't yet. Too much 'other' stuff getting in the way. Yes, I know, no excuses. I guess I need the opportunity to go out and do it, or at least an opening from under this load of real work I need to do.

Well...I guess I'm boring today. Off to get the day whacked with accomplishment. Hopefully have something worthwhile to talk about later...something good and worthwhile, lol. :)

Capstones.....tumbling down

Well, I'm back. Today is in fact laundry day and the kids are currently doing their math work. Today is also sunny and warm, but I have yet to find an escape to go outside. Perhaps soon though.
I'm a bit discouraged today, because even though I would love to go do something, it just isn't working out very well. I'm about ready to throw it away and move on. I have until Monday.
I have 2 sets that must be finished tonight. And I again hate sewing.
I'm on the hunt for some money too, but it is being reclusive, lol.
I feel there's some introspection on the horizon too...a little bit of cleaning to be made, like spring cleaning, but more of a fall cleansing, the letting go of the old and worn and the time to prepare and bunker down for the winter. Steadfast, faithful.

I'm debating....I don't think any amount of work or labor, or good deed that could be done is worth it. Maybe for that huge black bug thing that I rescued and released last night, or those lady bugs I help find their way outside, or that dog that I let eat my dogs' outside this morning.....but for people....no. It's almost like helping the enemy. It backfires, or tends to leave a filthy residue on your thoughts. Perhaps there's the few times a 'thank you' reaches your ears, but there are far more silent moments that leave you wondering if any amount of effort on your part was even recognized at all. If that 6 hours was worth it, if that $35 in gas mattered, if the careful planning and scheduling was even considered.
We should fight the good fight anyway and do it anyway, even if it's just out of spite...yes we should. But I no longer want to. I'm falling into the abyss...that deep dark place. Cold. Echoes booming. Falling.

And I have been swallowed whole by something that is rather trivial. Something unworthy to speak of, but I'm lost as to why it bothers me so much. Why do such small things cause drowning tsunamis on the inside. Why?
To say it upsets me is not true. It more or less pries it's way down to the core and shakes things out of place and causes havoc to my calm. Ravaging my sense of belonging. Reminding me that this world, the belonging to this world, the being a part of this world, is false. Reminding me that I will be cast out.....and somehow making me give thanks for things such as this.

One side fights to be nothing, no one, lost, dead. The other fights for being everything, someone, found, alive. I hate this battle. We are the losers either way. The bearers of the war. Feeling it rip us apart and cast us asunder. Watching it toss us to and fro and see how it makes us stumble. Like watching yourself die, but you can't do anything about it. Even if you want to bring in the boss man....He can't just change the channel while you are still stuck in the tv. Though you are still waiting for Him to turn it all off and take you out of tv land altogether.
No superheros here....

So enough rambling about stupid things. Therefore I'll leave you with the impression that I want to tell you how fragile I am while still holding out hope that more than 5 people in this current world make me smile.....but also remind you that it doesn't matter....even if I'm sad if I don't get to see them. That it doesn't matter if I'm cast out...or turned away, or forgotten about, or left behind, or scoffed at, or avoided, or shunned, or replaced, or ignored..... I accept that....and I'll be at peace knowing where I'll be standing at the end...and it won't be with them.


Must go write on deviant art right now....must go.