Only zombies get shot....

Just stop your crying
It's a sign of the times
Welcome to the final show
Hope you're wearing your best clothes
You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky
You look pretty good down here
But you ain't really good

We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
___________________________________
___________________________________

Page 80
getting there
18 more beat cards...out of 72 I think it was...
aahhh! I want to get to the good parts
and the end....which is good.
love love love love! eeeek!
I have to kill someone off first.

_________________________________
They still haunt after my attention.
They won't let me rest without dancing with them
They are unwilling to wait their turn.
unwilling
my rebels
my loves
I'll be with you soon enough...
yes, we can dance on the sands under the stars
yes, we can dance in a cave beneath the mountain
yes, we can dance on the open floor of the kingdom
yes, we can dance in front of the others who watch and wonder
yes.
yes
I'll never say no.
_____________________________________

I have work tomorrow O_O
I should probably go to bed.

Another lover wants me attention...

Dancing in the dark
with you between my arms


they're pulling me
come with us
come with your soul
you're ours
we're yours
come.

this beckoning
I don't want to escape
I don't want to flee
I want to be swallowed up
spirit me away
take me
 ___________________________

Page 70 on screenplay
of course staying up way too late
and sleeping in when I can
the life of a writer
never to see the sunrise after falling asleep..
but certainly seeing it before taking a rest sometimes.
cascading across the stars while a story
melts out and spreads across the blank pages
Never abandon your heroes.

Songs playing on loop...again and again
just like book 5...
which I love and all...
but it still hasn't told me where to start it at yet
I might consider starting it after this script is finished.
Must write...

Less than two weeks and I'll be in cali
filling up, filling up

Have work orders to do Monday and Wednesday
Send me more, yo.
A trip up to the mtn. for house pics and ad listing tomorrow too.
Have a house to sell, yo... this month. Let's get to it.
_________________________________________________

hmmm... I need team names for my script still...
I keep putting ____?____ in it, since I haven't thought of any yet.
will do that today
and watch a movie or something
right now, I'm gonna go have some coffee and sit in the driveway!
FUN!
________________

later super saiyans of blazing hair folicles and master tactics in speedskating
zoom past the slushie shop and order one for me. - root beet...
they sell them at the gas station on the corner of Signal Mtn Blvd and Mountain Creek rd.

Be your own hero.

I'm having a crisis....
with my script, yo.
There's this idea that your story has a protaganist...
you know, the hero, the main character.
...well.. this one... has two? I think?
I have the hero, but he isn't the main character, lol.
He saves the main character.
Is that legit?
Because it is fucking beautiful.
I just told my main character something that
kinda feels like her world is dying around her.
....and it's so sad.
But I know my hero is gonna save her.
and I'm like...please hurry up, lol.
but I need to write it!!! AAAHHHH!
I'm on page 56.
that's the halfway mark and I hit the
structure midpoint turn at the absolute perfect time.
These things write themselves when you let them.
that's day 5 of 10, which is also halfway.


__________________________________________
I finished reading someone's book they are writing.
and I could tell they are a Miyazaki fan.
And I'm like cheering inside, because I love it.
__________________________________________

I have orders coming in! 3 so far!
Yay! Fun work!
Of course, waiting till the end of July to get paid is
a lovely bonus. So that's what...$15
I'll take that.
Cause money is a lovely thing.
Even the small amounts.
Even the large amounts.
Every cent.
Every scent...
don't forget to smell the flowers, yo.
________________________________________

I should probably go to sleep...
but hey, I was writing...
and then when I get to the bed...
I'll check in with the otherworldly peeps.
Then I'll be swept up into book 5 again...
probably same scenes once again...
then I'll eventually fall asleep..
only to get up really early for a yardsale.
cause we need another $120 bucks.
for the casino.
priorities, yo.
I only stopped to write here because my character
was having a difficult day after having a really great day...
and my hero has no idea the part he's gonna play yet...
but I do! so I love him for it..now.

Let me tell you a story.
One where it really is your story.
and how we write ourselves each day through our
thoughts and actions and feelings...
but we don't know how it ends....
or who we will become?
what will happen?
....or do we?
 I know the author....
and the things that await are grand.
at least for me.
Because I read this story before...
like the books you keep so you can read again
when the time is ripe.
and we know all the characters, even if they haven't shown up yet.
and we know who they will become.
even ourselves.
we know their part in the story...
...
we only keep books the books that have happy endings.
the ones that change our lives.
the ones that ignite a flame.
the ones that inspire us.
the ones that speak to the one dwelling on the inside.
....
and this one is it. This book that we live through.
the book of Life, yo.
and I love this story.... it's one of my favorites.
huge character arcs and fierce diabolical insights.
I may have others I love more...
but oh... this one fits perfectly right now.
__ ___ ____ _____ ______ ____________ _______________________
of course..... maybe we are in a software program and this is all an illusion.
the matrix...
and we'll wake up and it'll be an hour later from the time we started
the program, and we are like 20 and live in some apartment down by the
Jersey shore. It's legit, yo.
(I hate those type of movies.... don't write that one.)
but maybe that's why I feel like I'm missing someone??
hmmm?


chit chat later little pumpkins of macho men tangle weeds using birthday party tactics.
I'll be sure to carry you throughout your time warp suspension holes of blackness and illusion.
We'll hang out with the trumpets of Oz and sing carols under the stars of the gods.

hey that kinda rhymes....

Whatever it takes.....take me to the prom, I'm ready.

DISCLAIMER: This is really long.....turn back now. I said fuck way too many times.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
          . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
               . . . . . . . . .
                  . . . . . .
                     . . .
                       .
What the fuck.
Are the stars burning with some funky astral fart juice.
The world feels so freaking weird.
So I've decided to get rid of the crap clothes I have,
although I haven't yet moved them off my dresser.
I also have this mad desire to take the old paradigms
of doing the normal thing and fucking choking it to Hades.
Where it's limp body hangs from the death grip of my fingers.
Die motherfucker. Just fucking die.

Can you feel the wrath of this blazing fire.
This star raging with a thousand suns.
I'll scour you across the heavens and ravish your inequities.
Burn. BURN. BURN!!!
This raging inside of me must go somewhere...
and you are the target.
You old scourge that casts a shadow upon my aura.
I'll defile you and rip you into the unknown.
I'll swallow you and in darkness you'll suffocate.
I'll feed off  your death and devour your essence.
You will be no more. You will not be.
_________________________________
So that wasn't hate mail.
I'm not even mad.
I'm getting to know someone again.
Let me tell you of the journey I'm on.
_________________________________
There is a door.
A massive door. Like a gate.
It stands before another dimension.
Colors dance upon this door. Like liquid. Like light.
It's bordered with stone and gold embedded deep into them.
Unknown markings are carved in those stones.
He asks me if I want to continue.
I accept.
We go in.
Inside, there is shadow. A deep grey haze lingers like a mist.
He appears older now. As old as someone who is not a human can appear.
Very old. My guide, "The stone that was cast into the sea."
He is an ancient and honored relic to this place. this dimension.
He asks if I'm afraid.
I am not.
He asks why not.
"Because I am here. All of me. I have everything. I have all of me."
He stops and waits....
-All of me- -- there are other pieces of myself.
Here, in this deep shadow, we are together.
He speaks.
"There are three parts of yourself. Why do you walk alone while you are in the body?"

The triad. The trinity. Call it what you may.
So this guide of mine, who looks more like demon than a god...
He reminds me of Saturn.
But he said he's the child of Saturn, and is honored to be noted as such.
I'm like...what?
He smiles... as much as someone who is not human can smile??
What.... is this.... world....?
______________________________________________

So I almost bought concert tickets.
But I thought better of it.
Mainly because I don't know anyone to go with me.
and yeah... I could get my stereo bettered in my 4runner
and get the aux cord for cheaper...so... yeah.
I'm not sure if I'm happy about that decision yet.
....
it doesn't even occur to me that money might be needed.
Ha.
I'm listening to a song on loop....
I like it.
I must like loops too evidently.
Like I said, I keep coming back to this shit hole paradigm.
and I don't know why.
what do I need from this?
what are you trying to tell me?!!!
I know it has something to do with 'all of me'.
I know this....otherwise it wouldn't be here right now.
fuck.... now I'm thinking the concert tickets were a test.
now I'm thinking I either passed or failed miserably.
FUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!!
Do I do what's logically right like I usually fucking do!!! and
strangle myself for not doing what felt so wildly exciting
when my mouse hovered over the fucking 'BUY TICKETS' tab.
FFUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!
FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK
!!!!



FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!
___________________________________________
Now here's the real fucking problem...
I failed..... but you see... the option is still there....
to buy tickets.
but now, will it even feel right anymore...
fuck me.
_____________________________________________
I fucking bailed on myself and told the universe I don't trust myself.
I don't trust the 'all of me'.
When I was fucking hanging out with them a few hours ago in some
deep dark pit in the hazy mists of the sea
with some demon looking old guy who calls himself 'The stone that was cast into the sea'.
FUCK!

I fucking love this.
I love all of this!
Give me more.
I want MORE!
It's like getting lessons in real ass shit really fucking fast.
this is what being plugged into the... astral cosmos does to your ass.
FUCK

That's it....
I'm fucking manifesting a huge ass fuck ton of money.
And I'm also manifesting some fucking awesome ass
person to hang with that isn't afraid of any fucking thing.
You better fucking believe it.
MONEY - get your ass in my life now!
FRIEND - make yourself known, you little fucker.
I'm done.
________________________________________________



Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are only those temporarily used by the author and do not necessarily reflect the official and steadfast viewpoint of the one dwelling on the inside of this human.
      ....great...she's flipping me off...
 

hey, I made it to page 46 on my script.... would have been longer if I didn't come here and tell you about my evening.
 :P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGlEZpOVjGo

Guess who I love?
Every fucking one of you.
Laters, my peepturds of interesting mellowed out goji berries of poptart musicals.
Maybe we can hang out with the marmasettes on the beaches of fiji and palawan.
I'll pay the hotel if you buy the plane ticket. Let's fucking go.








 

Epiphanies at 4pm.

Wow.
Do you know that feeling when you are cleaning out
let's say...your clothing drawers...
and you really don't like certain items...
and you decide to get rid of them....
in other words...
put them away somewhere else in case you need them later...
yes.
That fucking feeling.
That fucking fucking feeling..
where you are in some state of irrational fear.
not that it feels like fear...
but it is recognized in a such a way that it relates to being in
a state of lack.
That you'll need these things you really don't like later...
because for some reason, we never think to ourselves that
we want to feel how much we don't like these items again, and again.
Why do we do this to ourselves??!!!

This wouldn't be such a difficult task if I had someone to give them to.
not goodwill...
but alas... this is part of the zombie coalition.
And I need to make room for other things.
All the things.
All the things I do like.
All the living things.
I could read that book again that made me feel sorry for my socks....
that'll put a huge boost into my tossing out uncool crap.
even if it goes in the garbage.
...argh...shit.
why am i in such resistance to this....

I know money will fill those drawers when they are empty.
I know clear energy and cash will pour in and pile up.
They will have room to breath. Room to flow.
In and out. Out and in. Again and again.
Because money is awesome and we are moving in together.
It's gotta have it a place to put it's stuff, yo.
We are besties and we are pals.
Gonna go on adventures together.
With all of the stuff and all of the things we do like.
All the things.
All the places.
All of us together.


_____________________________________

His name is "The stone that was cast into the sea."
I asked for a shorter name...
I got.... "The stone of the deep."
"The stone from the depths."
I asked if 'Stone' was okay, even though it sounded dumb.

He said his name is "The stone that was cast into the sea."
I asked if he was the star that was cast into the sea...
he said, it's similar... he likes being called a star, but he is
more solid than that.
This guy is deep indeed. Holy crap.
I would like to paint a picture of him, but I'll need to ask him first.
Storie thought it was a great idea...I'm not so sure about him.
He looks.... uh... impendingly deep... idk.
_________________________________________

Writing script, yo.
on page 12 I think.
100 more to go or so.
I'm liking my main character. Her name is Emmi.
She's nine.
what is this...day 2 of 10?
I'm still eager for those muffins.

still need to go up to mtn. house and fumigate.
still need to figure out the insurance issue.
I'm awaiting keys and such from the field inspection job.
hoping to start like any day... I'm ready, let's go.
have a few things I need to do around the house
but am I doing them? lol.
I'm gonna go make some rolls. That's what I am going to do once
this blog post is complete.
Luckily days and times do not determine when I do anything.
So yep. everything is awesome!
reading someone's book too... not bad, but still have about 130 pages to go.
other stuff.... um... idk.

later people of the earth.
beware of the zombies.

Trust money, not zombies.

I won the war.
Maybe not 4 or 5 battles
but at least the other 22 or so.
Will do more tomorrow.

In other news....
about defeating zombies.
I'm closing doors tomorrow.
To be opened later...after the zombies
have eaten themselves.
I may still post here, but I won't be
available for facebooking.
messaging and stuff, yes, but not facebooking.
at least until after the 25th.
Kinda like going on a meditation retreat.
Away from zombies.
away

I have shit to do
a job to start
a screenplay to finish
a house to clean
and all the other fabulous things
all the things

beware of the zombies
______________________________________________

So Teacher is leaving.
There's someone else going to be my guide
maybe tonight, tomorrow...soon.
I've kinda met them, but not really.
I don't know their name yet.
but they feel really 'deep'
Teacher said they usually don't take on ....being guides.
but have only for a very few. A very few.
like 4
Does that mean I'm the fifth? or one of the four?

So that's not at all serious, is it? !!!
What that means... *shrugs
I'll miss Teacher, he's been really great.
I can check in with him anytime and all, but to move forward
I need the next one. I get that.
I get that.
I know.
Where are we going again?
what are we being again?
Let's do this.
All of this.

hmmm....
I see now.
that's why I'm de-facebooking.
that's probably not the only thing I'll close the door on.
that's just the first step...
I'll have the next revealed to me soon enough.

___________________________________________________

Laser Racers
on page 6 (just started it tonight)
goal for the week - get to page 30
...
I don't like the word goal....
it means a "limit" or "boundary"
do you realize what people are doing when they set goals?
oy vey!!
So.... in light of that piece of enlightenment....
I could get to page 30...
but all coulds or shoulds or woulds must immediately
succumb and alter themselves into the word "will"
So... will I get to page 30?
I will get to page 30.
Fuck.
I'll just finish it in 10 days or less.
How about that?
And when I do....I will....bake blueberry muffins
because I want them...
 ___________________________________________________

Want to manifest with me again???
Last time it was fun, wasn't it?
It was for me!
I got a 4runner!
......
I'm thinking of choosing money.
Choosing money.
Money is wonderful and happy.
I like being around money.
It makes me smile.
I like watching it flow and change things.
I like changing.
I like what money can do.
I like the feel of money.
Especially the power of lots of it.
The vibration of value and worth.
It feels good to me.
Me and money.
Money and me.
We should be together and go on an adventure.
We WILL be together and go on an adventure.
Flowing.
Trusting
Becoming.
I trust you.
I trust myself.
Let's do this!
All of this!

War to defeat the zombies...

So let's do something cliche and stupid.
It'll be fun!
Weekend WAR
what is Weekend WAR?
it where you classify the weekend for one...
which deciphers it as something different than the week.
but it's really not.
It just happens to be friday and I want...errr.
I am going to start tomorrow.
which puts it on Saturday and most people classify that as the week end.
 so yeah.. Weekend WAR
what is the war part...?
That's where you declare victory in getting all that crap done
that you haven't done, but planned on doing ...eventually.
but this time, all on the weekend... this weekend.
Which is the next two days.
which also means you only get 2 days.
2 days to get the victory.
2 days to defeat those things you haven't done.
but were totally planning to do.....eventually.

Cause I'll have work next week.
Field inspection.
yeah, that again....with a 3rd company!
but in my own county this time... and hopefully more work orders.
cause Money is my friend... and all the things.
A friend with benefits, yo.

So Weekend War.
--- I will start on my screenplay... cause it could be done in
less than 10 days if I would just start on it!
--- My painting... finish it... been working on it already.
DO YOU REALIZE I AM A FUCKING GOOD ARTIST! HOLY SHIT! I SURPRISE MYSELF SOMETIMES. WHO KNEW?!
--- Clean the stupid bathroom.
--- Fumigate the mountain house. Even if all I do is drive up
there and do it, and drive back. It'll be done.
--- Get the labels and papers for this new job printed and filed.
--- Wait in anticipation to hear back from that screenwriting job I applied for.
--- I should probably go check on the garden... O_O
--- Clean up the mess I made when I cleared the other part of the garden.
--- Move the wood in back and move the azalea bushes where the wood was.
--- I should probably stop listing stuff right about now....
--- Move the bowflex to the other room.
--- Get $200 so I can complete Level 39.
--- Make sure camera battery is charged.
--- Watch a movie.
--- Make cookies and jambalya, not at the same time.
--- Take Teir swimming.
--- Go for a walk.
--- Play Mario Kart.
--- Find seat covers for my 4runner or find a replacement seat.
--- Get a piece of outdoor carpet.
--- DO NOT cut my hair.
  Why the heck is this always a thought??!!! Stop! I'm growing it out, yo!
--- DO NOT play Farm Heros Saga until after the weekend.
--- DO NOT buy something off of Zulily.
--- DO NOT eat out unless someone else is paying.
--- DO NOT forget about this list!
--- DO NOT keep adding things to it!!! STOP NOW!
--- Be a rebel.
   ....considering you seem to like writing at the moment, you should probably start on that script....


Well, there you go.
You know what I'll be doing for the next 2 days.
Going to WAR.
Will update Monday...or whenever I feel like it....if I remember.
____________________________________________________

In other worlds...
I want to start on book 5, but I'm waiting to receive the first line...
like the literal first sentence... or at least the idea of where to start it.
My mind keeps replaying the middle chapters over and over and over.
.... joy.

The audience... still around... but full moon energy gets
in the way of spirit world connections.... or something, idk.
Solar radiation spike maybe? whatevs.
Have to hang tight for a few more days.

ok, bored, gonna go...



laters, peacock mini bumble twats of tablet sanctions and ecstasy pills.
 swallow them up and carry them upon your breath of everlasting cajun masquerades.
tell the gypsies you love them.... or they'll eat you.

Zombie Gypsies??? I see a movie plot!!! O_O