DISCLAIMER: This is really long.....turn back now. I said fuck way too many times.
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What the fuck.
Are the stars burning with some funky astral fart juice.
The world feels so freaking weird.
So I've decided to get rid of the crap clothes I have,
although I haven't yet moved them off my dresser.
I also have this mad desire to take the old paradigms
of doing the normal thing and fucking choking it to Hades.
Where it's limp body hangs from the death grip of my fingers.
Die motherfucker. Just fucking die.
Can you feel the wrath of this blazing fire.
This star raging with a thousand suns.
I'll scour you across the heavens and ravish your inequities.
Burn. BURN. BURN!!!
This raging inside of me must go somewhere...
and you are the target.
You old scourge that casts a shadow upon my aura.
I'll defile you and rip you into the unknown.
I'll swallow you and in darkness you'll suffocate.
I'll feed off your death and devour your essence.
You will be no more. You will not be.
_________________________________
So that wasn't hate mail.
I'm not even mad.
I'm getting to know someone again.
Let me tell you of the journey I'm on.
_________________________________
There is a door.
A massive door. Like a gate.
It stands before another dimension.
Colors dance upon this door. Like liquid. Like light.
It's bordered with stone and gold embedded deep into them.
Unknown markings are carved in those stones.
He asks me if I want to continue.
I accept.
We go in.
Inside, there is shadow. A deep grey haze lingers like a mist.
He appears older now. As old as someone who is not a human can appear.
Very old. My guide, "The stone that was cast into the sea."
He is an ancient and honored relic to this place. this dimension.
He asks if I'm afraid.
I am not.
He asks why not.
"Because I am here. All of me. I have everything. I have all of me."
He stops and waits....
-All of me- -- there are other pieces of myself.
Here, in this deep shadow, we are together.
He speaks.
"There are three parts of yourself. Why do you walk alone while you are in the body?"
The triad. The trinity. Call it what you may.
So this guide of mine, who looks more like demon than a god...
He reminds me of Saturn.
But he said he's the child of Saturn, and is honored to be noted as such.
I'm like...what?
He smiles... as much as someone who is not human can smile??
What.... is this.... world....?
______________________________________________
So I almost bought concert tickets.
But I thought better of it.
Mainly because I don't know anyone to go with me.
and yeah... I could get my stereo bettered in my 4runner
and get the aux cord for cheaper...so... yeah.
I'm not sure if I'm happy about that decision yet.
....
it doesn't even occur to me that money might be needed.
Ha.
I'm listening to a song on loop....
I like it.
I must like loops too evidently.
Like I said, I keep coming back to this shit hole paradigm.
and I don't know why.
what do I need from this?
what are you trying to tell me?!!!
I know it has something to do with 'all of me'.
I know this....otherwise it wouldn't be here right now.
fuck.... now I'm thinking the concert tickets were a test.
now I'm thinking I either passed or failed miserably.
FUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!!
Do I do what's logically right like I usually fucking do!!! and
strangle myself for not doing what felt so wildly exciting
when my mouse hovered over the fucking 'BUY TICKETS' tab.
FFUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!
FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK
!!!!
FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!
___________________________________________
Now here's the real fucking problem...
I failed..... but you see... the option is still there....
to buy tickets.
but now, will it even feel right anymore...
fuck me.
_____________________________________________
I fucking bailed on myself and told the universe I don't trust myself.
I don't trust the 'all of me'.
When I was fucking hanging out with them a few hours ago in some
deep dark pit in the hazy mists of the sea
with some demon looking old guy who calls himself 'The stone that was cast into the sea'.
FUCK!
I fucking love this.
I love all of this!
Give me more.
I want MORE!
It's like getting lessons in real ass shit really fucking fast.
this is what being plugged into the... astral cosmos does to your ass.
FUCK
That's it....
I'm fucking manifesting a huge ass fuck ton of money.
And I'm also manifesting some fucking awesome ass
person to hang with that isn't afraid of any fucking thing.
You better fucking believe it.
MONEY - get your ass in my life now!
FRIEND - make yourself known, you little fucker.
I'm done.
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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are only those temporarily used by the author and do not necessarily reflect the official and steadfast viewpoint of the one dwelling on the inside of this human.
....great...she's flipping me off...
hey, I made it to page 46 on my script.... would have been longer if I didn't come here and tell you about my evening.
:P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGlEZpOVjGo
Guess who I love?
Every fucking one of you.
Laters, my peepturds of interesting mellowed out goji berries of poptart musicals.
Maybe we can hang out with the marmasettes on the beaches of fiji and palawan.
I'll pay the hotel if you buy the plane ticket. Let's fucking go.
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