Checking out on the prison bus.

So I did a thing today.
I kinda stepped away from something that was at
first enjoyable and a learning opportunity.
But then it got heavy and I felt it being...like...
something that was not yet ready to be brought out.
It said so... it said it needed time.
...
this is why we don't crack the eggs of chickens before they hatch.
this is why we don't open a cocoon before the metamorphosis is complete.
this is why you don't give birth at 20 weeks from conception.
It takes time.
It takes sometimes.... a lot of time.
This is why you don't force.
This is why you don't try to 'make' things work.
This is why you don't 'hope for the best'....
NO people! NO!

This is why I wait until things gel before taking action.
I know what they want...
these stories
I know not to start writing a script until I have the story.
the whole story.
Yes, sometimes it changes and adds to itself afterthefact...
But it is complete before I write it out.
This is why Victory took me so damn long.
It wasn't ready.... even though it was the first story I had
that said I might want to try screenwriting.
This is why The Fox Prince was perfect on beats.
I fucking waited.
This is why LR (no peeking!) is perfect on beats.
I fucking waited...
then when I wrote those beat cards... it flowed out like
fucking diarrhea. Pretty picture, eh? LOL
I didn't even know half the details before I started those cards....
but it told me to write... right fucking NOW.
and I did.... and it came out... JUST LIKE THAT.
Did I do the work?
No. I don't work. I just sat and wrote.
My muse didn't even interfere. The story wrote itself.
JUST LIKE THAT.


and I still need to edit LR......lol.
and I have a story floating around that's not yet gel.
I'm sure it'll be script #4
unless someone cuts in line.

Anyway... things that feel heavy must go.
you don't have to do anything you don't want
you don't have to do anything that isn't perfect
you don't have to be obligated
you don't have to work, or try, or force
you don't have to carry heavy shit
you don't have to fucking do anything
you are unlimited
you are unconditional
the universe is unlimited
the universe is unconditional
Choose the fucking best things ever for yourself....
every fucking time.
That's where I hang out. Maybe we can be friends.
__________________________________________________


.....
I always let you down
shattered on the ground
still I find you there...
next to me.
And all the stupid things I do
I'm far from good as true
still I find you...
next to me.
.....
____________________________________________________

don't be who you don't want to be
don't keep what you don't want to keep

and we find things need letting go....
and others choose to linger
holding on, holding on.
what do you want?
find out.
find out what you want
then receive it
receive it
there is only light
everything is light...
when you let go of the heavy
let go