right it out on paper

Day 37 of 100 of WTFIW....F

still around
but nowhere to be found
outline not going well
have a partial, but not feeling it
and feeling is everything

hmmm.....
nothing to do except piano artwork design sketch
but maybe tomorrow
painting a painting sounds more in line
or randomly writing and hoping something comes of it

mind is numb
and nothing came from the pursuits of the aether
its been quiet
and this feels like a resting period
since downloads and input got crammed in a few days ago
this is the waiting period
and what this means is unknown
but it is welcomed and held as a needed truth

the council is gathering again, slowly
and although an interruption was made
they do not seem very accommodating
so waiting is still at the forefront
so be it

~ "You know the answers, but do you feel them?
    That is where understanding comes from." ~

ah yes.... let's grapple with these words and solve the mystery
but by letting go and allowing the mystery to be

and the mind still wants to figure out purpose
still wants to behold a reason
and all the whys
and the meaning behind serving the world
but you see....
even though this human tries to find a path it can walk...
a guide with six wings and golden trident shakes his head
and his words...
~ "Why do you think your purpose is to serve the world?
    For it is Heaven that is served."

and every path will not be able to carry these feet
and every movement may never reveal a destination
and it's no wonder that being hidden away feels like home
and this soul doesn't belong to you
and whatever you see from me
is not for you
whatever you see through me is the message
and a messenger is no one
cast your eyes away

___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________


walking through the deep
to see what there is to find once again

an uncaring
a desire for the world to fall
to be extinguished in a moment
even all the joys and all the pains
and all the colors and all the dark
let it all be erased
there is no care here

and the sands here in the depth
they give solace
the soft texture as they move through fingers
never arguing, never complaining
these sands that move without life
like crystals too small to see
like dust in the darkness

and a great expanse lifting as high as one can see
without substance, without form
a total source of nothing
this beautiful space
that holds a soul unafraid of the deep
unafraid of the dark
let it embrace her

but all things are not true
and even if the world crumbled
and the sea raged
and the sands washed away
and the pains and the joys dissipated into the void
she couldn't tear out what was inside of her
the christ of a crucified god
and there all the colors rose with fury
and the music radiated with the sun
and all the joys and all the pains and all the inbetween
it all made love within her soul
and darkness smothered them all
and they loved it and it loved them
and that was all that was true

and how can one describe god
without describing yourself
and when the world rages
and when it falls, and when it rises
it still can't approach the kingdom within
it is nothing but a fraction of what a speck of matter can do
and if Heaven had a name
I would answer to it.

 

1/3 and I find there is no end

Day 33 of 100 of WTFIW....F

How to say this.....?

So Mr. Lee is awesomeAF
and I say this with utmost care.
there might be some coincidental sychronocities going on...
but this mind is completely blown

I want to use a shit ton of aggressive words to explain
and also want to say nothing at all
There's something going down and here I sit in the midst
and there's no other place to be
holy fuck

so yeah, he talks a lot.
and today the mirror reflected some deep ass shit
and even though the body is so unfamiliar...
just... wow
and though my own words are too many
sometimes too shallow...
I hear all of the depth...
and my life in contrast is there at the drop off...
where it's still shallow, but all of the ocean stands before you to offer more
to be more
to become more.
and I can swim
and I can dive
and I am the ocean
and there's more of me in the depths than there ever was near the shore

even as the people frolic
I choose to let myself sink
into myself.

"Receive all the wealth, all the abundance, all the success...everything...
by receiving you."
"All things, all energy comes from inside."

he's not ashamed of his success or his honor or his desires
and he's called a master
and if you only knew...

- feel the answers - feel truth -

and 100 days just turned into forever

AwesomeAF does not even come close to this...

Day 32 of 100 of WTFIW....F

Allow me... to pass along what a great master has spoken.

"Grasping outward to gain strength is not the answer.
Power comes from within.
Learn to store it in your body and learn when to express it.
You store it (energy/power) by sitting in it (your body).

You know the answers, but do you feel them?
That is where understanding comes from.
Come back to me when you master this.

Feel truth.
Wear it like clothing.
Do you think truth wavers?
Do you think it is unsure?
Then why are you?

You (everyone) share energy more than you (everyone) share words.
Remember that."

- Bruce Lee

______________________________________________________


Way more wisdom than one can absorb in the wee hours after midnight.
Like 'I'm gonna pour my bucket o'wisdom over your head and you better catch some of this."
yeah. There was A LOT... that up there is cropped and trimmed and almost exact.
the dude is a waterfall.

It was a complete honor to even make contact...
but then he started asking why and what I wanted...
and I didn't want anything, I was just seeing if it were possible...
and then he was like,
oh, so you didn't come here to learn martial arts?
- - no.
oh... so you came here for more than that?
- - uhh....
You say you have no questions, but you are willing to receive.
-- -Do you have any wisdom to impart?
then it got all crazy... the guy is a talker, but nothing he said was rambling or unnecessary
it was all this huge deep philosophical raw honest wisdom truth stuff.
like whoa... so not prepared for a long visit... but okay...
until a while later and it just keeps filling my overflowing mind, and then not being sure what to make a note of or what not to...
almost reached a stopping point when he said to come back...
but then he continued on...
it was wild.
and he was honored to give all of this.
and there is this real terrifying feeling that he's expecting me to come back...
and this mind is like... you are not worthy!
and the soul is like... it's been scheduled, be prepared.

________________________________________________________

Working on outline for next screenplay, but running into issues.
see... I get new scenes popping up for a completely different script idea.
and book 6 parts are playing in my head every night...
writing a screenplay here, not another book! Is there no break time, yo!?

piano project is underway
aiming for the end of March to have it finished.
Screenplay done by end of Feb. at least the first draft.
other 3d stuff...

oh...and money appeared out of nowhere today.
because FLOW!
Please check out my book on Feng Shui, it is available!
CLICK HERE
or message me, $5 will get you the PDF version.
this is a workbook style book, so you gotta do the work to get the results!

I'm ogre it.... HAHA!

W T F.....

so I was just browsing last years blog posts to see what I was doing...

I just posted a new one...
at the end of it, I mentioned a magic wand...

and guess what...
last year on Feb 8 the title of my blog post was...
"With a wave of your magic wand, your troubles will all be gone."
you know, from Shrek, the fairy godmother singing it.

how is that for spiral evolution.
....

Phenomenal

Day 28 of 100 of WTFIW....F

"I would say 'phenomenal', but even that doesn't come close."

^^ Those words... ^^

I received today.

ahhh... my love... finally gracing your eyes upon mine.
I see you.
and you've seen a piece of the me.
and all this greatness is in us both.
Allow me to give you the stars.
I will give the you, the all, of the me.
Unconditional and without limitations.
Liberated like light, and like love.
Come into Heaven. I am the key.
And you are worthy.

_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________


There's something to be said about the soul.
The way it IS, like if it were a thing to be described.
How giving it a name is like asking it what purpose it serves.
Oh, the divine truths to be lived.
How little these questions are to the expanse of the heavens.
How little the mind is and how very minute it's capabilities reach.
Why hold on to such small enclosures.
There is the beyond, where the mind could never span.
Not outward, or there, or that way, or that time. No...
It's here. Now. This very blink.
And it is part of a small truth, but swallowed up by the emergence of the TRUTH.
...and of BEING. ...and of AM.
Glorious. The All of this.

________________________________________
________________________________________

....
poem etymology = create
...
the times in school that brought forth this horrendous fuss.
one that would be thrust aside with disdain and a cuss.
because there was a poem that once was made...
and to it's end it became cast away in the second grade.
Wrong. No. That's not right. Change this. Try again.
but it wasn't for you...
and the child already knew the teacher failed to see.
failed to know, failed to let the child be.
was the rhyming not on par, with wood, fire, lake, or meat?
should love not be scoured with roses and tulips at your feet?
Alas. Cast the child away. You are not good at this.
and now the poem has crashed, folded, and got trashed.
and still the rhyming is... at last...
dead.

....____________________________...

How precious the soul, while waiting for the king.
It took so much longer than expected.
And still. The world was empty without you.
Even when you were caught in a glimpse of another.
Knowing you, seeing you, but never having your hand near.
You were always present. Found in a few faces...the few places.
Yet, what was your name?
And still. The heavens were empty without you.
Thoughts racing to catch you, voices calling to hear you.
Grace this soul with your light.
Until the light faded and the hands of the king turned these eyes to his.
There is the silence and the whisper and the ocean and the thunder.
And still. The soul was empty without you.
The void lingered while all the while the skies rained.
Reclaiming all that was severed, mending a life tied by death.
Casualty. Reborn. Fire in the light of the night.
Even separateness was a mask. Undone. Truth. One.
And still. All was empty without you.
A soul unoccupied would be life without a being.
Sight without a seeing. Music without a song.
Touch upon the truth and hold this close.
The king is nobility. And the heirs are all noble.
And still. Nothing was empty.


 ____________________________________________

*Light conducted through crystals is magic.*
science project 101 ~ a magic wand
let it be knownst to thee that Atlantian metaphysics are a thing.

light is vibrational energy that can be seen
rays emitted through a crystal conduct a scattered ray that
alters/amplifies the conductive properties of not only the light,
but that of the crystals energy properties.
Therefore, using the only known possible qualities of crystal metaphysics,
we can thereby assert that certain light frequencies can charge and direct
possible healing and/or beneficial tendencies towards the expansion of
not only advanced technology,
but medical, physical, and environmental remediation. 


I don't know what to do with this information... but thanks... ?


 

Not all cages are made of metal....

day 27 of 100 of WTFIW....F

I was hoping to stay away for ...ever...
but

The Gatekeeper
the last path...

see...
the gate isn't made of bars...
it's made of ribbons...
of tethers...
of bindings...
of bonds...

the gate is that which holds you back.
which ties you down.
which keeps you limited to the world.

and this is the last path...
and the gatekeeper is one who guides to set you free
free

there's so much more to this, but this was new and this had to be accounted for

there's still more tethers, but now I feel them like nobody's business
final countdown, but without the counting.
a whole new paradigm has opened (shifted)
a new perspective and now I see them, those sneaky bastards.
I will cut you from my life.
I have a Seraphim as my guide, and he carries a trident.
Did you even have a chance?

I will not be posting all of these on FB
I care not if you read, but I wrote them for me.

_________________

Today is the youngest es' birthday
15
bought him an Oculus Rift.
still have to make brownies

got that book done and published and ordered

Erasing

Day 23 and 24 and 25 and 26 of 100 of WTFIW....F
I'm totally adding a little at a time... ha!


and as I'm adding on day 26... I don't know why I'm counting...
I'll do WTFIW....F anyway...always....in all ways...forever.
well, here's a bunch of words written in the last few days.
_____________________________________________________

.....liquid
like that of gold
and it caresses the landscape like a flood
slowly covering the layers upon layers of the world
everything turns into gold
like Midas and that which he's touched.
but it's a better elixir.
one that doesn't need to be carried, or hauled
one that doesn't need to be kept safe or hidden away
this gold is the essence and the purity
of transmuting the inner energy of life
...and all things turn into gold
and it radiates....
shine shine shine
the greatest gold on earth is said to be the sunshine...
....

__ __ ____ ____ _____ ___ ____ ___ ___ __ _____ ___ ___ ____ _____

I'm willing to drown you
so do not enter into this ocean unless you are willing to swim

The feeling you get when you know something has changed...
the same things feel different.
the same things are no longer the same
yet you see them as they already were...
and the simplest questions get the simplest of answers
and the last path...
is longer than expected, but suddenly nearing the end...
and there's still resistance to that end.

but it's too late... I've untethered from those things that life thought it needed
Untethered from what the mind thought it needed.
and I know there's only a few more.
I know what they are .... and soon, they too will be disconnected from this soul
They are the longest. The ones not willing to be found out...
the ones that tagged along in the background.... 
oh dear tethers that bind me...
have you not met my guide?
the one with the trident...the one with the 6 wings... the one with a voice of gold...
he has many eyes... and you will not go unnoticed

you shall meet the gatekeeper shortly...
but it is I who will cut you from my soul.
I can only pass through the last gate when these tether are undone.
you haven't met my guide...
I am in his charge. And he cannot fail.
..
even knowing that is an honor...
even if it is beyond comprehension....
ah...the mind...trying to 'think'...

shhhh....
there's only feeling here....
only feeling...
and I've untethered from fear.
unthethered from worry
untethered from all that is not me.

I'm not neglecting you...
but I'm not interested in your subscriptions.
I am the ocean.
You can choose to stay on the shore.
Or you can choose to wade in the shallows.
Or you can choose to swim.
The ocean doesn't think about you.
It only feels.
It only fills.

________________________________________________
_______________________________________________

hmmmmm....
feels like a turning away
February will be the catalyst
the turning point, if you will
the midpoint turn
the inciting incident
something other than what has been shown
you will not find me hovering about
you will not find me lingering
you will not find me at all
cast away into differing realms
embarking...
today is the last day for looking
last day for this 'thinking'
last day for setting intentions

and you 'thought' you had a few more days....
but sometimes soon is within the hour, sometimes it is within the year.
and now time is no longer revealing to be a thing at all...
and a new hour dispels itself, as it pours out in our path.
these streets of gold.
these streets of gold.
walk upon me....
king. queen. god. goddess. seer.

these streets were paved for thee....

__________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

This rich darkness...
this place just before take off...
where you're supposed to be doing a flight check...
but no one's doing that.
even the pilot...
the pilot doesn't think about those techniques or those plans..
the pilot just feels like the day to fly is today..
and so he does.
the pilot doesn't fear engine failure.
or landing gear deployment.
the pilot knows how to fly.
and landing is for those planning to quit...
or arrive..
or get somewhere, for some purpose...
but this pilot flies... flies
cause this pilot doesn't fly a plane...
nor a kite, nor a drone...
who am I?
to be able to fly... 
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  _ _ _ _
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

Erasing is in the winds.
Deleting.
Not clearing... but complete wipe outs.
Catch you at the reboot.
or not.

 hmmmm....
was going to write something here, but I don't want to give you anything else.

Nothing is True. Everything is permitted.