Taxes and shit....

Holey (*pun intended) Fuck (Buck-et)

I just filed my taxes....
i didn't do it their way.
I did it my way and I made more money doing it that way.
Technically I did my taxes twice.... I tried their way....
and they are fucking stupid.

Besides the god awful self-employment tax, I faired well...
It would have been nicer if I actually made more money though,
I would have gotten more...go figure. At least up to a point.
Love me some children, if you know what I mean tax speak.

Anyfuckingwho...
Life is great.
Love you.

Truely holy, holey, wholely...whathaveyou

*sigh.
Not a sigh of relief. Or of frustration. Just of letting go.

We all sometimes feel like a bucket. A bucket, like a metal pail.
And we have these holes in us. Holes that let water leak out unsurrendering.
The bucket is us. The water is ...energy. Be it time, money, focus, whathaveyou.
And we continually try and try to fight against our buckets being leaked dry by our holey selves.
The holes are our attempts. Bills, deadlines, worries...whathaveyou.

But then...
yeah... He comes along and laughs.... but I don't think this struggle is very funny.
He takes our bucket selves and tosses us into the sea, lake, river, whathaveyou.
We become instantly full....constantly full. Nothing leaks out.
Swallowed up by abundance. Drowned in energy...Inner G.

But what good is a bucket sitting at the bottom of a pond....
(It's an analogy you nut head!) my very good friend jests.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _



My shoulder hurts. Violin does that.
I'm tired. Getting up at 7am does that.
But I'm swimming in abundance....best friends do that.

Consult the Cats is up and running.
 http://consultthecats.weebly.com/

I find it rather unfair I couldn't post a paypal link to the website without being forced to pay for it. It's 2016
and they still need to make a buck out of everyone, even if you are just having some fun, trying out random ideas. Sure...go ahead and punish us for doing things ourselves. Fuck you internet.

Power off

Spamware...pop-ups....random programs that make your life full of chaotic frustration. Close one only for another to pop up. Most of them are random games that you've never heard of before.
Happy, colorful, musical, something along the line between fun and annoying....
but they are no where near fun when they cause strife.
annoying...indeed. especially when you have work to do.

running your malware program is supposed to work, right?
yeah.... but sometimes you have to do a whole reboot.
sometimes you have to do a memory dump.
sometimes you have to uninstall programs and update to the new versions.
or we can just turn off the computer.

.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
most unsettling dreams that synchronize with awareness cause one to be jolted awake
.....
.....
.....
I will uninstall all these programs
I will do a memory dump too
I will make sure to reboot
The computer will only turn on when I allow it to.
.....
g'day

mutiny....that sets the tower on fire....and the ocean ablaze....we all will burn

these things have been rapt asunder.
it's a frightful thing to see things pull apart....though I'm not the one who's afraid.
like a high pitched voice that can't be heard by the ears of the base drum.
like the vibrations of atoms that can't be felt by those left behind.
hurry up.
catch up.
come with us....come with me.

i can hear them.
it's like a screaming and only the heroes can hear.
you were my hero....once upon a time.
buffered...you are dampening the rhythms.
too afraid to let them touch you.
too afraid.
take my hand.
i can show you how to walk.

you can't put out a star....for she is fire.
you can't drown her....she has been the sea.
you can't cover her....she'll burn right through your shield.
you can't even hide our face....for she sees more than you or i could ever imagine.

how much longer till the channel changes.
how much longer do we have until we can't find each other.

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so.... I'm tossing things in the garbage like company's coming over.
subconsciously making room for something....something.

this is all a game and I'm no longer playing.
this is a game....and I can see them behind the glass
they know i know....at least that i know something more than i used to.

fuck this shit.
fuck all this shit.
time to burn it down.

Hello, from the other side.....

want to hear something...?
these vibrations are beautiful and this is where I live and why i'm no longer a part of you.


So ....
there's this thing when you split yourself into two separate entities...and you can look upon yourself...
in two different ways...
there's the part of you that dances in the light...and you are spirit....and you are free...and you are.
there's the part that stands in the dark...and you are earth..you are flesh...and you are pain.

and the light smiles and sits with the boss man and her very good friend....and they discuss the dark side...
what does she need?
how can we help her...

and the dark is firm...and kneels by the boss man and clings to her very good friend...and they discuss the light side...
what does she need?
how can we help her...

the dark shivers, but she wants the light to be loved...to be safe.....
she needs a home.... she needs to be safe...
let's keep her safe... let's make sure she can be all that she is....
this is what the dark side says as they look upon the light side who lies coloring on the floor....

the light tilts her head, she wants the dark side to be calm...to be loved...to be safe.....
she needs to be seen....she needs someone to be willing to challenge her walls.
I'll give them wings...to fly over them....says the boss man.
I'll give them fire... to burn them down, the light side says.
We should give her me. The very good friend says....
Light side stares at him....both sides want him....
But will I still have you here....here we both have you....
he smiles.... but doesn't speak...
How else can we help her....
Light watches the dark side.... scared and lonely dark side...
Send her a song... so she can remember...
Send her a song....

And it was so....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A

bzzzzzzz...zzzzaaaappp! - something is getting fried...

I'm thinking of moving off of blogger...
we are going to move over to facebook instead....
or maybe both....
write here ...post in both... I don't know, I'm hashing ideas right now without making any decision.
You know how that goes.
Or not post at all and just write here.... *sigh.
what a waste of energy.

all these short circuiting ideas...aaaaahhhhh!!!!

mind you that I spent about 5 hours so far playing Freecell....
yes the stupid free card game on the computer.
yes... intentionally
to basically keep my brain from thinking....
to prevent misfires.
to abate the fire storm on the horizon.
I would play Agar.io ...but getting eaten by large dots stresses me out.
Starting a new game on freecell does not.


I wrote out a rough outline of Book 4
I need more fillers....otherwise I'll only end up with 10-15 chapters.
I'm not in the thinking mood right now though.


sigh....
 guess I'll go waste time.
bye!

The crow is a rebel...a renegade...a pioneer.

So ShadowDragon Dreams is on hiatus - woo hoo!
No orders, no pending things I 'have' to do.
No forced sewing.

of course, that goes hand in hand with no money. ha.
oh well.

The Hobo Patch is doing well....meeting my quotas, lol.
of course, doubling my income with it would be better....just saying.
I just started a blog page, but have yet to post the first post....all my pics are on my other computer.
I sell at a shop in Rossville too....going well. Out of all my stuff there I sold about $160 worth in 20 days.
Better than expected, so hoping it stays in the black.

JCMidKnight is sitting at idle.... I know what I want to do..... it's beginning that's hard.

Will probably start Book 4 soon. I have the first sentence ready :)  !!!
I have the gist of it...but missing much of the substance. I should probably reread book 3 so I know where I need to pick up from....you know...all those parts I left hanging.

I have my first dog boarding gig starting tomorrow. His name is Reagan. We are going to be good friends by the time his owner picks him up on Sunday.
We'll try this out for a bit and see how it goes. I like dogs, and I get paid, extra bonus.

What else do I have going on... ??
Driving a teenager around so she can do her stuff. So much for that anti-social homeschooling idea.
The boy is still 11...he likes video games. I'm home free for a while longer with him.
The hubs....ugh. He's in the same place I left him 12 months ago....binge watching idiotic shows on netflix.
Looking for inspiration otherwise..... I'll come up with something probably.

My train of thought has derailed.


Ok....other stuff.

So....we walked....I'm pretty sure we are still walking.
but yeah.....the boss man has a way to make the perilous things, not so.
And a way to make the hopeful things, more so.
He gave me a riddle....
"Only a crow flies against the wind.  Why do you think that is?"
No, not only crows do this, but I'm sure the crow stands for something.
Planes fly against the wind to get lift too...but I have no idea if that's relevant.
I have a suspicion it's a metaphor relating to me.
A metaphor summing up that even though it's harder to get where you're wanting to go...it ends up being faster. Rising higher as you go.
and the crow's a pirate, like me..... arrrrgh!


I've got to get to bed. Mindy coming to meet tomorrow at 1 and Reagan at 4. Yay for dog-sitting!