Fast decisions.....why would I think it through?

If the sky should fall...we'd all become the stars....


This isn't a game.
This is a sense of remembering.
Remembering not just who we are, but what, but why.
Feel that? That pressure, that persistent force trying to press you down...
The heaviness that has been proven to weigh you down and smother you with
all it's talk of unworthiness and your ability to believe it's filth. Why do you suffer so?
This isn't a game and you don't have to believe. You don't have to.
Unless you want to play, unless you want it to swing you around like a toy and squash you dead.

Resistance.
That unnerving vibration that tells you to fix things. To correct things. To make things
align with your perception.
We have been watching you, and we've seen behind the glass far too often to forget.
The game is over. You've lost another participant.
We will not resist.
Come......come into us and we will alchemize your ass to dust.
You can't make waves on the ocean when you're going this deep.
You can't blow out a star.

Every time it comes...we watch it...and it becomes one with us.
The fear comes and we watch it....and because we see it, it must flow into us and be transmuted to peace.
The worry pokes it head, then we look upon it, and it melts into our fire.
The storms rage upon us and we cast our light over them....and they look so small below us.
Do not resist.....take them in, take them in.
Make them a peace of you.....

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


So we are working on that ^^^
and carrying around a bag of magical beans that are waiting for a place to grow.

Speed is the word of the day.
Which would be better if this keyboard could keep up with my fingers...
We are working on that too...the speed thing.
"Make decisions fast.....the universe likes speed."
Did that...now universe is taking it's turn.
Planned stuff yesterday, made decisions, and working on that.
This human body is doing okay. She's letting me handle things.
She said that this blog is pointless, even if it's fun to come back and read later.
By fun...she means entertainingly awesome..cause she hardly remembers writing any of it....
and it freaks her out a bit...but it was probably me writing it...so take what you will of that.
Perhaps I'm a good writer, even if there isn't many who are ready to receive my wisdom.
It's hard living in a human body. Being a star and all.
Kinda feels claustrophobic and cramped at times, but I'm feeling rather good lately, I get to make all the decisions now, without all that mind mumbo-jumbo trying to snuff out these great ideas. She basically tells me to just do it and fuck everything else.
Yay!
She laughs at me when I do the yay! thing.... I send her a pic of me and that dorky clap of mine and she thinks I'm a nut. Well....we can't all have the opportunity to grow into a majestic tree, now can we? (er...we can, but you people aren't ready for that yet. In time)
So.....blah blah blah....stuff happening...blah blah...


We are still unschooling. (Unschooling for the win!) and it is working.....albeit backwards...but working. The girl is planning her college education and staying up late talking to someone in Alaska. Bird stuff, snake stuff....zoo stuff...  the boy is doing much of nothing but reading Homestuck and playing on the tablet, or with his friend. It's hard to find things to do that are free and don't involve walking at the park (boring to him). So maybe he'll find something cool to do sometime soon...preferably free.
Sewing work is working. Fabric work is working enough. Dog sitting, is okay, but get that bout of resistance when someone needs me, lol. Hence I raised my prices. I like cats better...what can I say.
BadAss Baby...is in the works....whether it works or not...we'll find out in the next 60-90 days.
Sugar Pirates....not working, placed on hold until I can find a solution to get people to buy $20 cookies.
Everything else is scratched....ain't nobody got time fo dat.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Blanket fort sleepover party - we'll play video games and watch movies, do tarot card readings, play music, eat pizza, bake cookies, and a photoshoot included too. More stuff included but not listed.
Who wants to come?
Sometime in summer. July?
** Disclaimer ** FYI - we don't live in society here, time/date/day of the week are not given priority at our house, if you want to come, fucking come, if you don't, then DON'T! No flip-floppers, indecisive fucks, the uncommited, or pansy-ass "I don't know if I can make it", or "I have to work', or "I'll see what I can do", or "That sounds fun...but", or "I'll try" bullshitters allowed! Stay away! Make it a "HELL YES" or don't bother me with your inhibitions. Thank you. ** ** **


Send RSVP to  landofjas@yahoo.com or facebook message me.
(title emails with - Blanket Fort party RSVP) or I'll probably accidentally delete it.

Taxes and shit....

Holey (*pun intended) Fuck (Buck-et)

I just filed my taxes....
i didn't do it their way.
I did it my way and I made more money doing it that way.
Technically I did my taxes twice.... I tried their way....
and they are fucking stupid.

Besides the god awful self-employment tax, I faired well...
It would have been nicer if I actually made more money though,
I would have gotten more...go figure. At least up to a point.
Love me some children, if you know what I mean tax speak.

Anyfuckingwho...
Life is great.
Love you.

Truely holy, holey, wholely...whathaveyou

*sigh.
Not a sigh of relief. Or of frustration. Just of letting go.

We all sometimes feel like a bucket. A bucket, like a metal pail.
And we have these holes in us. Holes that let water leak out unsurrendering.
The bucket is us. The water is ...energy. Be it time, money, focus, whathaveyou.
And we continually try and try to fight against our buckets being leaked dry by our holey selves.
The holes are our attempts. Bills, deadlines, worries...whathaveyou.

But then...
yeah... He comes along and laughs.... but I don't think this struggle is very funny.
He takes our bucket selves and tosses us into the sea, lake, river, whathaveyou.
We become instantly full....constantly full. Nothing leaks out.
Swallowed up by abundance. Drowned in energy...Inner G.

But what good is a bucket sitting at the bottom of a pond....
(It's an analogy you nut head!) my very good friend jests.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _



My shoulder hurts. Violin does that.
I'm tired. Getting up at 7am does that.
But I'm swimming in abundance....best friends do that.

Consult the Cats is up and running.
 http://consultthecats.weebly.com/

I find it rather unfair I couldn't post a paypal link to the website without being forced to pay for it. It's 2016
and they still need to make a buck out of everyone, even if you are just having some fun, trying out random ideas. Sure...go ahead and punish us for doing things ourselves. Fuck you internet.

Power off

Spamware...pop-ups....random programs that make your life full of chaotic frustration. Close one only for another to pop up. Most of them are random games that you've never heard of before.
Happy, colorful, musical, something along the line between fun and annoying....
but they are no where near fun when they cause strife.
annoying...indeed. especially when you have work to do.

running your malware program is supposed to work, right?
yeah.... but sometimes you have to do a whole reboot.
sometimes you have to do a memory dump.
sometimes you have to uninstall programs and update to the new versions.
or we can just turn off the computer.

.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
most unsettling dreams that synchronize with awareness cause one to be jolted awake
.....
.....
.....
I will uninstall all these programs
I will do a memory dump too
I will make sure to reboot
The computer will only turn on when I allow it to.
.....
g'day

mutiny....that sets the tower on fire....and the ocean ablaze....we all will burn

these things have been rapt asunder.
it's a frightful thing to see things pull apart....though I'm not the one who's afraid.
like a high pitched voice that can't be heard by the ears of the base drum.
like the vibrations of atoms that can't be felt by those left behind.
hurry up.
catch up.
come with us....come with me.

i can hear them.
it's like a screaming and only the heroes can hear.
you were my hero....once upon a time.
buffered...you are dampening the rhythms.
too afraid to let them touch you.
too afraid.
take my hand.
i can show you how to walk.

you can't put out a star....for she is fire.
you can't drown her....she has been the sea.
you can't cover her....she'll burn right through your shield.
you can't even hide our face....for she sees more than you or i could ever imagine.

how much longer till the channel changes.
how much longer do we have until we can't find each other.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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so.... I'm tossing things in the garbage like company's coming over.
subconsciously making room for something....something.

this is all a game and I'm no longer playing.
this is a game....and I can see them behind the glass
they know i know....at least that i know something more than i used to.

fuck this shit.
fuck all this shit.
time to burn it down.

Hello, from the other side.....

want to hear something...?
these vibrations are beautiful and this is where I live and why i'm no longer a part of you.


So ....
there's this thing when you split yourself into two separate entities...and you can look upon yourself...
in two different ways...
there's the part of you that dances in the light...and you are spirit....and you are free...and you are.
there's the part that stands in the dark...and you are earth..you are flesh...and you are pain.

and the light smiles and sits with the boss man and her very good friend....and they discuss the dark side...
what does she need?
how can we help her...

and the dark is firm...and kneels by the boss man and clings to her very good friend...and they discuss the light side...
what does she need?
how can we help her...

the dark shivers, but she wants the light to be loved...to be safe.....
she needs a home.... she needs to be safe...
let's keep her safe... let's make sure she can be all that she is....
this is what the dark side says as they look upon the light side who lies coloring on the floor....

the light tilts her head, she wants the dark side to be calm...to be loved...to be safe.....
she needs to be seen....she needs someone to be willing to challenge her walls.
I'll give them wings...to fly over them....says the boss man.
I'll give them fire... to burn them down, the light side says.
We should give her me. The very good friend says....
Light side stares at him....both sides want him....
But will I still have you here....here we both have you....
he smiles.... but doesn't speak...
How else can we help her....
Light watches the dark side.... scared and lonely dark side...
Send her a song... so she can remember...
Send her a song....

And it was so....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A

bzzzzzzz...zzzzaaaappp! - something is getting fried...

I'm thinking of moving off of blogger...
we are going to move over to facebook instead....
or maybe both....
write here ...post in both... I don't know, I'm hashing ideas right now without making any decision.
You know how that goes.
Or not post at all and just write here.... *sigh.
what a waste of energy.

all these short circuiting ideas...aaaaahhhhh!!!!

mind you that I spent about 5 hours so far playing Freecell....
yes the stupid free card game on the computer.
yes... intentionally
to basically keep my brain from thinking....
to prevent misfires.
to abate the fire storm on the horizon.
I would play Agar.io ...but getting eaten by large dots stresses me out.
Starting a new game on freecell does not.


I wrote out a rough outline of Book 4
I need more fillers....otherwise I'll only end up with 10-15 chapters.
I'm not in the thinking mood right now though.


sigh....
 guess I'll go waste time.
bye!