A moment for the week.

There's this thing I'm giving up.
Not coffee...or anything serious...
but the whole idea that there needs to be a reconciliation with the body.

I get it though....that the other humans of the world want to reconcile with their spirit...
but I'm the backwards one...
I live somewhere out here in the aether lands....
    ....and I figured that I probably should have a real connection with the body
....there I go 'should'-ing on myself....
and that always leads to a road of shit...all without the giggles.
see....there's a mismatch....and I was gonna go do that vibration rising alchemy thing
   on my body, so it can catch the fuck up to me....
...
yet.... all it's doing ...this process of trying to do that...
is slowing me down...
and ain't nobody got time for that
least of all me

so... we're not gonna do it that way...
and revert back to the path of least resistance and rock this whole aether life like a boss

I'm good at that...even if I tend to lean more toward tyranny and dote a bit too much on my ego.
I'm good at that too.
I'm 'good' at that     ;)

see what I did there.

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.

Some high intuitive skills are still pointing out that there may be agents on my tail.
Not as in chasing, but keeping tabs... I'm not sure why, but I'm aware of their presence.
Things are weird.... not so much as to stand out, but subtle... little micro movements and details that are compiling at a tremendous rate.
weird.
they are all over facebook...
and I'm sure they are aware of this blog
and there's a dampened signal of late...
   interference...
so... I'm keen on making semi-bipartisan actions that will give them something to analyze
I haven't really done anything yet...but I will... sometime or another
maybe...

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soooo... 3 days later and still haven't gotten around to posting this
HA!
I have an interview today!
I have 15 baby quail chicks...and another 32 eggs in the incu.
No desire to do any projects.
It's gonna rain, so no swimming today. :(
The crypto world is shit right now and imma sit and here and not freak out about it.
Have a sewing order I could probably do later...I might send the invoice for it too, LOL.

_________________

WOW! It's now the next day HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Day 4
This is like binge watching a series on Netflix with the whole series already done....and you don't have to wait for the last season
I have a job. I guess we'll call it that.
Still have quail.
I have desire to do projects all of a fucking sudden and I'm suspicious about it
the pool isn't warm enough, so maybe swimming tomorrow or the next day
The crypto world is great for buying! It will refurbish come late July <3, diamond hands, yo
   getting the youngest' account set up is taking forever...
Sewing order... I did send the invoice... and I may think about getting the fabrics set out and maybe cut them... maybe...
I have a goal at the moment.... doesn't mean it will stay, but it's here at the moment
  "I summon it forth."
or the whole... "So mote it be." whatever... "Amen."  

I'm in the mood for some Krispy Kreme doughtnuts
and I've got a plan for some of those projects...

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why do projects like to POP up, like right at the time I'm trying not to spend money...
like tf, yo...
I can buy paint, but do I want to.... NO
I probably need a canvas too....as I think I'm out... O_O
the atrocity!

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hmmm....

the deep stuff....where art thou?

_
_
_
_
_

I started listing off things I'd like... and then after a whole 8 things or so, erased them.
More off, I don't want you to know what they are...like I'd have to defend my choices.
Pssh... how's that for some clearing ideas.
Why do people ask why?, or how? Do we have to go there... not one iota of any of those questions make an ounce of difference. If anything, it hinders it all.
That's like explaining. It may teach the other, inform them, help them understand, but what does it take from you? What really does it cost you to reverberate the past thoughts or actions that could justify the current standing or choice... ?? Like really?!
Is it so wrong to leave someone hanging, even in confusion, or perplexation, or lost...
even if they form ridiculous opinions or conclusions of you, or the thing....
does it matter?
even then, what is it going to cost you....if you decide to enter into that confusion and try to clear it up?
Why would you bother? It was their mess...let them find their own path out...
You though...keep fucking going. Keep moving forward.
And stop the explaining. The helping to understand. The pointing out all the facts you've found....
Keep moving forward....

The fire does not explain. It does not justify.
It just burns.
And it is respected.

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That was lame and boring...
not even deep....just a bunch of mind thoughts... all following the same pattern.
Lame.
Here's this explaining, LOL. Now stop it, LOL. I love my ego.

The aethers are just watching.
The Alchemist keeps watch... on them....
I'm suspecting there's this moment(s) of ascension on the horizon.
Not entirely sure it's for me. Probably for him, maybe?
I'll ask...what's going on...

"I said they were watching you." He says simply with an even tone. Still at ease, but more alert than his usual.
"What the hell for?" I've lost all connection to the nicities. "Wait....who are they?"
   I catch his words sharply. There are no others here.
He looks my way. But even the idea of 'my' way or 'that' way doesn't even exist.
"Another offshoot of me, huh?" I propose.
"It's a dividing." He says gently.
  A dividing... why does this sound beyond familiar, yet completely new. It seems I already know what it is and why and how and blah blah blah.
"What becomes after will no longer take hands with the fallen." He says it like it was written in some mystical text.
"Yay." I smile. Pleased to continue, regardless of whatever is bound to fall into my lap. It is familiar.
"You've always liked this part the best." He assures me.
"Yay." I go with it. Ain't nowhere else to be.  "So...what's gonna happen?"
"You want details? I thought you knew already." He snickers.
   I do.... but hearing it, writing it... makes it realer.
"It will be real enough." He nods. "More than you probably remember."
  It will be amazing.
"Watch." He instructs specifically. "The time between now and The Now...is only a shadow away."
 ....
"Yay." I snicker, with jazz hands, obviously.


_____________
So maybe I can get back to actually writing worth a shit afterwards. LOL Heaven knows it isn't today.
Or lately for that matter.
If it makes you feel any better.... Book 7 (am I on 7?) is still playing out over and over in my head.... so there's still that...

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__


Day 5
Two sewing orders! One needs done asap of course.
Ummm...I just got another new job... LOL!
I'm completely not bored... just extremely lucky!
Did go swimming too.
Made zucchini bread.
Watched a bunch of training videos on this other new job, lol.
actually doing that now...sooo....you see how under my pay grade this is.
   but there's sure to be other reasons...I just haven't figured them out yet....it was on a whim...
   just like my other new job... oh look...craiglist ad for this neat thing.. let's reply with everything but a resume HAHAHA!
Anyway....
   I have a list to get done

OOOoooohhh... and software update to run the 'new' 'programs'...
the theory for the vaccines...

I only say this because I updated my own system and had to reboot everything...
and maybe for one side, people can't..and it's saving people...
or people aren't following the programs...and they want to make sure they do...for the other side...
who's who....and which side do you play on?
I watch the game masters...
and don't play the game

I'm ecstatic today!
and need to stop writing for now...
will return in a few days maybe... who knows!

Later

Feel me up

 Took me awhile to find something annoying. HAHA!

Found this little gem on facebook...
*It’s very important for the next 24-48 hours that we concentrate on how we can serve the Universe above focusing on ourselves. This energy is needed right now in order to create a timeline that will help raise the frequency specifically for the next energetic update. The more the better*

Imma just dissect this intentionally all rude like.
Serve = Slave   in etymology....
The Universe is NOT separate from you. You don't just 'serve' the universe and stop serving yourself...
*facepalm emoji inserted here
YOU ARE THE WHOLE THING> THE WHOLE UNIVERSE... ALL YOU ALL THE TIME

and energetic updates don't come from some imaginary sun sign or planet or shuman resonance...
please... *slowly drags fingers down face
It comes from YOU bitches. CAUSE IT'S ALL YOU
Nothing is 'needed' either....
EVERYTHING IS ALREADY HERE AND NOW
EVERYTHING

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next_____________________



Do what you need to do to give yourself everything you want and deserve.
Many literately throw out huge store holds of joy and happiness because of (any excuse).
You get to be happy.
Step into that happiness.
That is where all your joy is. <3 
     ...even if it's just a _____...even if it's just _____.
It's you, it's all you. Love yourself.


____________

the other night I got interrupted by some weird download...
about meat suits, antennas, and static.
humans... antennas wrapped in insulation (the meat suits)
and filtering through space like static...
the tree of life is the grounding rod to solidify our connection to the forever electricity...

take what you want from that...all I know is that it wouldn't go away.
you're welcome

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"All those words aren't going to be able to teach you how to feel." - The Alchemist

He's talking about a video I'm listening to from this dude named Larry...
talking about money stuff
(anyway... )
there's been this specific thing we've been focusing on...
and there's this misalignment of matching signals happening...
something I was unaware of until my manifesting game goes to shit....
but I think now I know why it goes to shit sometimes....
it's because my energy of myself and my body are completely two different things...
...so there's this confusion of manifesting going on....
but it's nice to know I know why now...
HA!
We are spending time with that, yeah.

"Exactly." He relaxes, as I turn off the video, pleased it's quiet now.

Perhaps he is starting to appreciate these little writing sessions.

"I am." He affirms. "You listen better."

Maybe cause I hear better... now...
even in meditation lately, there's so much fucking noise.

"Gotta do it while you're awake and living....not in the dark." He adds. "You don't do much living in your sleep."

That was a lame sentence. Is he off his game?
I catch his scowl. He's offended I didn't like his words.
but he's right, even from the last time we chatted...about 'feeling with your eyes open'

"Of course, I'm right." He glares.

So what are we doing net? Or are we just focusing on this new practice?

"You just started. Like yesterday. Are you already looking ahead when you just got here?" He asks.

Of course I am.
And of course, I know skipping all the basics of something tends to bite me in the ass later.
I may get to level 5000 overnight, but I'll never beat it without knowing what happened at level 12....cause I skipped it... or maybe I will...it'll just take longer... and maybe I'll still be ahead....

He listens, but doesn't respond to my ramblings. I think he may share some of those strategies....and just will not ever admit it. Probably got him where he is today... assuming there actually were levels and whatnot.

"There may not be levels...but there certainly are perceptions." He adds almost quietly.

Who does he work for, I wonder... Is he an initiate of the Universe too?
He makes a slight grimace face. Almost looks as if I'm completely on the wrong path. He probably thought I was smarter. Now that I reread what I wrote...it sounds stupid... words are stupid.
He takes a deep breath....

"What do you think the Universe is?" He ever so frustratedly glances my way.

Do I have to answer that? I'm not in an answering mode, at all...
He waits, not peeling away.
Damn it...

The whole of all the things. I take the simple path.

"Close enough." He looks away. "How do you serve, that which you are?" He stresses those words....

So I can't even serve myself?

"Not like you think." He slowly shakes his head.

New thoughts trail through my mind...

"Yes." He adds, ever so quietly, letting me know I stepped onto the more legit track...

Nice. I'll take that.

"But don't go too far on that path." He quickly adds in. "It's only relevant when you see from a specific perception. Go too deep and you'll get lost."

Like a rabbit hole in the dark. I laugh at the analogy of going down a rabbit hole...
He smirks, unimpressed by my childish view of the whole universe.

Now what? Want me to go meditate and feel...or what?

"Go play your game. Enough thinking, enough words. Just feel." He kinda orders...

Just fill...
okay....

Little reminders on the page

 To
'feel with your eyes open'
to
'see with your soul'

to ground the thoughts into root
and wait until the fire is burning before taking actions
moving quick enough, sometimes blowing out the flame....
how big, how strong, does this flame need to be, yo?

when the spark burns...
why does it feel like an inferno?
do we just follow the sparks...
until we are lit eternally...internally?

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___________________________________

"Without the emotional charge...there's no power to produce the manifestation." -AH

and maybe that's where we all fall short
why we all fail at the numerous intentions and goals we so diligently set for ourselves
Sure, we meet some of them, and others, not so much.
Did we not care enough?
Not feel it enough?
Was it just an interlude of thoughts that tried to ignite the engine, but didn't have the fuel....
The electrical, but not the fuel...
That's the point where we tilt toward losing our grips on our desires...
Too much electrical, burning the wires, yet still unable to move forward in progress towards them
We don't feel enough
We don't FEEL enough....fill ... enough
Fizzling out, forgetting, losing track, falling away, distraction, and a forever resting place....
unable to get back up....out of gas, out of fuel... out of all the momentum.
Even if the thoughts are still lit... wondering why we aren't moving..
We sit.... and we wait... rusting

Follow the feelings.
I wrote this before in that little feng shui book...
and it still remains as relevant as before...
Follow the feelings...

~ Feeling isn’t only the compass, it is also the channel in which energy flows. ~

___
___
yet, what am I doing?
forgetting that simple premise... because thoughts like to overwhelm sometimes.
sometimes



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.




I watched A Quiet Place 2.
It wasn't as good as the first one....
I'm still annoyed the dad died in the first one too...
and the subtitles were in french (and below the screen, so I couldn't see all of them anyway)
but it wasn't hard to follow...
It was okay, but I wouldn't pay to see it.

I might watch the new Conjuring next.

anyway...
eggs have like 6 more days in the incubator
nothing much happening
garden is growing
quail are happy
and I won about 2500 free bricks!
 

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He writes something on the corner of his notebook and rips it off the page...
sliding it ever so purposefully towards me.
His wry smile is chuck full of mischief and I can't see any way out of whatever nonsense I'm going to have to read.
He taps it slightly before lifting his hand off the torn piece and I catch the slight raise in smile before he leans back....but not all the way back into the chair...
He still leans a bit forward. I'm guessing he's expecting my approval, my acceptance... but has a slight edge of hesitation on my part he is ripe to engage with, if I so dare to tread upon any path of non-acceptance....
It's a trap. I know this... but there's something I love about his plans.
Even if I don't like them...not one single bit.
He flashes his eyes to the paper and back at me...an abrupt sense of him losing patience.
You'd think for an ascended master aether being... patience wouldn't be an issue...I ponder.
"Read it." He so gently instructs with the harshness of a bucket of ice water on Christmas day.
I smile and glance up at him, as I too enjoy the turmoil I get to impose on him the same way.
His energy floats strongly towards more seriousness and more impatience... I lean up to grab the small shredded piece of paper.... slowly...intentionally slowly...with a smile. He remains silent.
I stare at him as I grab it and bring it slowly towards me...settling in my seat more firmly...all in the great effort to prolong this whole interaction.
My eyes flicker down to the paper... it's torn edge, ripped at a very bad excuse for an angel...some lines from his notebook reveal themselves in the lower left area... blue lines... is he using a Top Flight notebook?
I inevitably look at his scribbles... they looks exactly like a doctor's prescription writing...and at first glance there's nothing that stands out that represents any such a word.... I start again... making out the letters... slowly.... he has either bad writing or...
"Words are primitive." He blurts out rather loudly. A slight scowl on his face.
Reading my thoughts again... as is the usual...
"They are loud." He snuffs out... "As usual..." He adds for accuracy.
I smile, with complete adoration of his huge sense of common courtesy...my kind of courtesy.
I start again trying to make out his half-assed effort to write words in some foreign cursive script from the dark ages.... I sigh...
I read it...and lower it down...unimpressed...
"Well?" He wants a response.
I sit quietly for a moment....
"Words are primitive." I agree, half-heartedly.
"Are you going to write all that?" He adds, knowing to fill a blog page with something of him, is always fun to read later...
I sink... there's far too much to write with words.... even if he only had a handful on his little corner of a page.
"It's still important." He adds quietly. "Even if you play the same games."
He's talking about ten things at once. And it won't matter to you whether I divulge all the things...
And there's the doorway....but it's not a doorway, so much as a bulge... like an area ready to pop open...like a cheap water hose left on, in the summer sun....and the blister on the side just can't hold it all in anymore...and you have to repair it again and again until your 100' hose is now only 40'....and it won't reach the garden...or the backside of the car...
"That was a lot of words...and you still didn't say anything." He calls out the obvious.
"What should I say then? The absolute....to where no one would really understand anyway?" I snicker.
"Yes." He says quietly. "Every time." He looks straight at me.
Damn it... why do I always do what he suggests... I can make my own decisions...
They just happen to be the same fucking ones...I'm not following his ideas...
"They are your ideas." He reminds me.
I shake my head not nearly believing that for a second.
"These are merely accessories to what you've already decided on. Like confirmations." He shrugs. "Whatever you'd like to call them. Doesn't matter....words are primitive." He smirks.
"Fine." I scowl.
"I'm not writing this crap." I toss the piece of paper back on the table. "Looks like a two year old wrote it."
He smiles. A real smile. He leans back in the chair.

The bulge...
-- We've only got so much time before there's a flood... make arrangements NOW.
but not like NOW as in seriousness or abruptness...but now as in no more time for distractions/games.
-- The stuff in the bird room needs organized. The feng shui in weighing in too heavy. Must align.
-- all the little things and little cleanings need attention before they become too large.
-- once the bulge pops open... everything needs cleared beforehand so it doesn't compact and clog the flow. Handle it now. Handle it now.
-- I don't know how long of a timeframe this means... but it's strictly forefront in my awareness now... all thanks to a little note handwritten by The Alchemist..in some relic of a handwriting style...


anyway...it's late.
tomorrow rises with the sun.

The 12 agents

 Oh no...
.....
There's been some weird influx of friend requests on FB lately.
wtf is this all about?
most in this or that community.
  (although I have often thought that the single weird guys are sex traffickers....)
...but I'm not that pretty, LOL
Most likely FAKE accounts...
Looks like the agents have found me.

but then I'm also considering that these people think I'm like them...
cause mutual friends.... or something...
but then I read this today...
probably from a newly accepted friend...

their post said something like this... (I didn't read it all, it was long, yo.)
     (and in no way do I ever expect you to read anything long on FB....)
      ( I literately will skip over memes with too many words... HA)
     (this is a blog, so this is exempt... you should read it, if you bothered to come here...js)

anyway it read...

"To be right? Or to be kind?"
   (and then a lot of yada yada after that...)
and I was like...
 O_O  
because I would NOT choose either or.
   I love right...and I love kind....
   but yo...
I also very very much love wrong (left?), and I love unkind too....
little fuckers...
I'll love what I please.
and that includes the whole fucking world
not just the shiny lights and the soft gentle hugs...   (......ew)

let's go stab something

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of course, I'm also in this Dauntless INFJ group....
and they had a question of ...
   "Walk with someone in the light...or alone?
    Or walk with someone in the dark...or alone?"
and that was kinda weird...
but I'd choose to walk in the light AND the dark.... both alone.


I think my FB is whacked...
there's things on there that are spelled wrong in the formatting... LOL!!
Good.
Means I can delete it.
<3

peace out
Imma go with the agents of the matrix theory...
it makes plenty of sense
Gonna get exciting! So I have to switch it up some...
but not too much... cause then they'd scramble...and we don't want them to scramble...
we want them to play along and watch

oh wait...pic
can't forget the pic

I've already figured it out four hundred and twelve times!
It can't be that hard for you.




They do feel like fake accounts, lol
not everyone can be the same twelve people....

not everyone can be the same twelve people....

not everyone can be the same twelve people....

not everyone can be the same twelve people....

....

Transform into something more, bitches.

 "A blockage is just a perception. And a perception can be changed." - EM

just like knowing that all truth, for you, for me, for them...are fluid, are mutable, malleable, evolvable
like all emotions....all energies...all life and motion and movements

- so truth is just a perception...and a perception can be changed -


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If writing wasn't such a big deal, maybe we could write something worthwhile.
So this was sitting opened on my browser for what....idk, 2 weeks LOL
always waiting for something to pop up that wanted to spit letters on the whiteness
a rather boring task...the waiting

here's this list of things... maybe I'm only using it as a ruse to get me where I want me to be.
somewhere deeper than this surface level crap that churns and splashes you with brisk coldness.

1. another batch of quail eggs are in the incubator
   and in no way whatsoever do these numbers mean a damn thing
   there's only 30 this time, and it's warm out, and the coop is already here,
   which means it will be way way easier than the last time we brooded chicks.
2. We have a kitters... a.k.a. a kitten!
   that we've also been calling Kitters....even if she has had like 4 other names thus far.
  one of those manifestations that found a gap through the resistance.
3. pool is open and ready, and only been in it once...as the weather is trying to catch up to the
   temps that benefit actually being in the water.
4. Garden is growing.... awaiting numerous plant creations sometime or another.
    still learning... and basically just winging it and sometimes last minute googling.
5. No art...besides the garbage can... which makes me happy to look at.
   that's really the whole point anyway, yeah...
6. Made some plans and goals, and intentions, and all those things that
    at least remind you of what you think you want. Lest you forget and don't know when you get there
7. Feeling a bit dampered...and yet adventurous to the point of outright rebellion
    somewhere in there... doesn't even matter. There are plans.

...and there are actions...
....and sometimes when you sit to write....
    big ideas get through and inspiration smacks you in the face like Optimus Prime falling off the cliff...
onto your face...
and you try to talk yourself out of them as quick as possible...
or not...
.



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Had a convo with some aether beings yesterday...
   about how we move energies through us to transmute them
and sometimes when they won't budge...
   we move into them instead...and transmute ourselves
it was *spicy*
____________


The Alchemist has been quiet lately.
...watching...working...
not sure what his plan is.

   "My plan still involves you." He smirks briefly, keeping his eyes on his work.

that's good I suppose
I was going to ask what those plans are...but I just got shot a vision of them...
and his cheeks beam slightly with a shade of pride.
his favorite, right here, right now... swept away by something of an ego trip for her guide

    "I'm not your guide." He corrects me.... a weak effort to get my mind off the previous subject of his ego.

more thoughts... those that block up shit like a storm surge through a water hose...
The Alchemist glances my way.
Perhaps it would once have been a warning glare...
but today it's a given that my senses and focus are on autopilot of silencing all blocking thoughts.
all those perceptions that hinder any of this energy in the slightest....
  all of them silenced...

   "You are a master at that. I'm not sure why you still even give the thought a thought." He writes something down on his work...

so many thoughts... never ceasing to either speak horsetons of words..
or thoughts that define or dictate other thoughts...
a neverending cycle, round and round...
Ick.
I prefer the silence...even if it's getting me nowhere.

   "Like those thoughts get you somewhere?" He jests.

they never have, I suppose...unless it was to define the path of silence more pronounced like.

    "So..." He flashes his eyes up at me. A beaming smile concealed far beneath his hum drum scowl.
    "Are you game?" He asks. Trying a bit too hard to sound 'cool' with the lingo.

I tilt my head. I was game far before now. And he knows that.
 
    "But I gave it a name now." He implies, lifting up his paper(?) to show me his plan schematics.

I sigh... and nod.
of course, there's still the thoughts of the effort and trying and tasks and doing...
 
   "No." He rushes in to halt the memories and remembrances.
    "Not that way." He glares...like fire.

not 'that' way.... the new way... which has no participation with effort
no holding hands with trying, or partaking in tasks...
and without any of the 'doingness'...

    "Silence." He meagerly whispers, yet sings out under his breath.

the new way

   "It pays well." He assures me... cause he knows I like money

like it pays his ego, I hope.
he's smiles, but doesn't speak a word.
...I remember the payment comes in the process, before any of it manifests...
but I also know for a fact that he won't take less than equal pay for his pride and ego..
or whatever you call it for an aether-being non-guide who chose to dilly-dally with me....

   "Dilly-dally?" He questions. "I have a grand plan for us. Thank you."

his grand scheme, he means... one he never fails at....
as any falter, any failure, any marring...
would not go well with his pristine and well created and tended resume

   "It's not a scheme." He speaks softly. "I just happen to believe in you."

aww... cute.
I'm still not completely sure of his agenda, even if he's been with me for well over a year...
maybe two?
((((So....I went back to look and got stuck on an hour long journey reading my past blog posts.
A little over 2 years is the correct answer.))))
2 years..... the same teacher guide....who's not a guide....
  
I'm a bit honored to have him as an aether companion teacher/master....
humbled really.... even my own ego is awe struck and flushed

   "You're just flattering me. Enough." He's back to business.

so what are we doing? I ask, cause I already forgot after my hour long reading hiatus

    "The plan." He glares at me, not impressed with my already forgetting.

I got it...okay, yo.

   "You've got magical eyes on you. Make them cry." He mentions in some weird haphazardly way.

he wants me to make people cry?

   "Pull out from them what they are needing to feel." He rephrases it for me. "They're watching you."

I wonder who they are, but I kinda get the jist.
I'll do that.... tomorrow.... I glance up at him, making sure, tomorrow is sufficient for his 'plan'.

    "Our...plan." He corrects. "For us."
    He sits quiet for a moment.... "Don't embarrass me." He grumbles out quietly.

I smile. Loving everything about his annoyance with looking bad in front of all the other ascended masters....or whoever...
He claims it's all about setting a good example....
I love him. This whole thing. This whole adventure and experience.
The Alchemist and I.


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So now it's the NEXT day.... and I still haven't posted this... HA!
  maybe I could do a big rant on something... ranting is fun...
let me go find something to over analyze and dissect into sharp jagged pieces...

well, there's no shortage of things to pick...facebook is pretty full of crap...
I've successfully negated much of it though... lately it's nothing but
historical iris groups, quail groups, and random people who say good things...
of course there's a few who still do the whole marketing/coaching bullshit
most of them, I unfollow if my very sensitive bullshit detector pings...even a little bit
and some are annoying... and I end up blocking them, cause I ain't got room for that, yo.
all the same questions or set-ups to get people to engage...
boring...

'meh'....
I ended up browsing for transmutation circles on google... hehe

anyway....
Tomorrow is June 1st...
Let's be truthful....
This year is just like last year... we are all still doing the same things in general.
None of us really know what we want or where we're going.
We've dressed it all up in different clothes, but we are all still the same..
doing the same, being the same, acting the same, pretending the same...
I'm rather bored of it, bored of you, bored of even me...
Some of us have something exciting going on, but how long will that last really?
The same as the last exciting thing you've done? 2 weeks? three?
and then it's back into the saddle of sameness...

Not as easy maintaining a 'new average' as it is maintaining the average... now is it?

Maybe we can suggest something to help us all catapult into something far from where we are...
anything other than where we are or where we've been....who we are, who we've been.
but I don't really know...
I'm doing the same things too... even if the clothes change, even with new outfits that actually go together. Even with money every which way I look...
and where are we... still doing the same things...
nothing broad and bold and brave and BEYOND

Shall we then do that ascending thing? The feel betterness of being joyful in the now?
I'm going to say it though... oh hell yes, I'm gonna say the thing...
THAT'S NOT WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR.
Not a single fucking one of us want the same comfy lovely sanctuary of 'sameness'.
Maybe you do for today....but it's never going to feed you into tomorrow.

So...reach for your 'IMPOSSIBLE' today.
not 'really high'....not even 'incredible'...not 'amazing' either....
I want your impossibilities.
BREAK THROUGH.
Do it NOW.
Thrive, bitches.
Thrive.

No more catering to bullshit.
No more quietly stepping aside.
No more bending and bargaining and negotiating.
Not even taking another fucking moment to do even more 'shadow work'
or meditating your feelers away...again....
Or coming up with yet another amazing thing that will feel like a 'shift'...
and certainly not one more hustle that you can ride for a whole week or two...
The fuck already.... silence all those words and phrases and mantras, and EXCUSES
and meanings and solutions and the same things that you've heard ten thousand times already.

BE ALL YOU, ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
and don't you dare fucking apologize for one iota of it.



...hmmm... gonna post that one
it's been super long time since I wrote, much less posted on fb...
Ha! It'll be fun!

ok....gonna go...
got things to print
places to be
people to talk to
and a whole lot of impossible to choose from apparently...
I guess I gotta do the thing too, eh?

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Water spice and mustard seeds, make transformers float. Maybe. Add a magnet too, for good measure.

convo with the alchemist, not for you

 99% 110% chance of this getting deleted or not even published...
as it's not between you and me...
it's between me and me...
and sometimes I hear/see better when it's right in front of my face... sometimes, LOL

So... Imma summon forth The Alchemist for this little tirade question event...
and he's looking at me annoyed that I used the word 'summon'
...cause it's not like that, at all... and I know and he knows I know it, yet still choose to use
the wrong word to justify why I need his expertise and perspective enhancing gifts.

so anyway... glancing up at the Alchemist
this whole energetic thing between 'you know who' and me...
let's have a chat

"It's not about him."

it's about me...and my response to him though.
it's about that struggle between knowing without proof and yet still having to deny it
it's about the dissonance between give and take and feeling and action..
about all that... and it's a direct relation of tension at times.

"Seems like you may want to visit with that then.
You aren't feeling enough to know how to respond...
only your mind swirls, but gives no thought to the space in which it moves."

You're saying to stop thinking with the mind.

"And feel with the body." He nods slightly.

"Minds get lassoed, reigned in, controlled, lost, swept up...
Yet your body is only moved by you. There is no other that controls that which belongs to you."

I get that.
So my mind doesn't belong to me then?

"The mind receives more signals than it needs. Chaos until you select those you need or want.
How does it feel when you browse face book? When you play Jeopardy? When you write, sing, drive?
When you organize and plan?
All those things either bring calm or chaos, or the many divides between them. Where do you choose to stand?
And where does your body remain at peace within those spaces?

Today... I hate all those things. My body hates all those things.
It hated the food I ate, the coffee I drank, the way I moved, what I looked like. It hated my disassociation. It hated feeling what was hidden and dismissed...not by me, but by him.
It hated words, the trying, the not trying... It just wanted peace.
There's no joy in winning Jeopardy if you're the only player.

"Your body doesn't hate. Only you can do that.
And even then...it will take more than any of that to bring you there.
Try fucking off....as you people like to say...
and do not engage with the energy that doesn't welcome you in.
Don't be the energy that doesn't welcome you in."

There's already too many words... and 'fucking off' seems like the only thing that feels lifting.
I'm going to follow that nudge. That body feeling of release and letting go once again.
I can't find much more here, in this land of words.

Even the Alchemist barely uses words with me much anymore. A simple sentence or phrase perhaps to fling me back on that imaginary 'track'...but it's all spoken with light and some kind of emotion wave or something.... but not emotion, and not a feeling... it's something else I don't even know if there are words for. Many barely touch the surface and fall quite short with feeble imitations.

I'm tired though.
slightly irritated that nights lately have been making my body tense or restless
nothing is amiss in the 3d world, but perhaps I've changed lanes again....switched channels...
and there's a weird shuffling of signals... mmm... this crumbling insight feels familiar
so perhaps my intuition is still working prime.
Things are too clear... even to the point it disturbs those waters when others don't realize they are causing the turbulance. Maybe they don't know....and I can't prove I do....
Either way... I'm left trying to retain my stability and truth or scrambling to uphold something I know, but can't speak of.
Do I have to? stop them from fumbling, from drowning, from burning, from falling?
Do I have to.... even though I can't anyway...
no one trusts a seer, as people can't hide enough to see what even they themselves are doing...
always freaking out and panicking to find the dark to hide in...
and the seer... knowing, but unable to give it....without burning their eyes.

The elite of the 3d plane knows this and use it without doubt.
Yet, I stand in the midst of others who can't see, can't hear, and only pretend at times to understand.

"Philosophical today?" He jests.

Looking for an out, more likely. I admit.

"Your voice in the words is not you. Who are you writing for?" He asks, curious.

I look over my words...briefly enough to look away. And cringe in dismay, knowing my own self doesn't see much from that perspective any longer... it's all a mere remembrance of the place I used to be...

I'm not even her anymore. I reply. Not even a little bit.

"Then do not engage with the energy that doesn't welcome you in.
Don't be the energy that doesn't welcome you in." He repeats. More serious now.

I understand.

"If they all belonged to you. Would you still speak of them as such?"

I would not. I will not.

"They belong. And they are energy that reflects you. Becomes you. Speaks you.
Welcome them in. Welcome all of you."

He lights up, changing his pattern of shapes and light rays.
The Alchemist.

There's a electromagnetic field that surrounds the body.
And the body is more than just what you see... it also includes this etheric substance. These outer layers of the spectrum. And when you open that up, the energy in your vicinity get drawn to it, or repelled by it... It brings your desires, or cats out that which doesn't resonate.
And this space.... as much as you can expand that field.... is all you....and everything within it reflects each facet of you.

There's no use in chasing that which is repelled...
and no use chasing that which is yours... Just take it in. Welcome it in.
Even him.





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Waste of space and a read, skip this

The word 'wage' comes from the word 'pledge'...which comes from the word 'plight'.

Might want to do some research on the whole societal system that controls you and your 'pay'.
Just sayin... I felt like throwing you a flashlight to find your way out...
of course, finding the flashlight is the first step...
then learning to turn it on...
then using it...
and also ignoring the scary shadows...
and then finding the path...

Or you can just get in your throne and claim sovereignty
way faster...
but maybe the words don't resonate with you just yet...
oh... but they will...
they will

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I've gotten in trouble for having too many projects that involve being 'seen'.
For and empathic introvert, this is probably more harmful than good.
The getting nagged at because of it, not for the actuality of it.
... and you wonder why I do many things alone and out of sight.... good god...
let's spare the feelings of the mortals... and depart from this atrocious limitation...
and go back into the shadows... where at least we can wreck havoc in peace.

I guess patios, and income, and fun, and more fun, and colors, and food are unwelcome.
This energy is my energy.... so labels like to stain my aura as also unwelcomed.
I know this isn't true.... but sarcasm seems to gush out when another can't handle all the workings.
So we gotta do clean up... and remain covert... and move beneath the shadows...
so as not to be seen
not to be heard
not to be known

It'll be FUN! Where's my cloak?!
*initiate assassin mode


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Technically, there's only garden projects happening at the moment.
   and there's plenty more to add to the collection of plants <3
   and the corn plot....cause I'm going to learn how to grow this shit...
   and broccoli... and potatoes.... I wish I had a gardener to teach me and not google
  cause google is wrong sometimes...
      and potatoes just don't 'grow'.. my last ones disappeared... literately.
    Gone, just poofed into nothingness
The patio is just about done.
...I mean...the pool is next in line, but that's all mechanical easy stuff ?? yeah?

Hey! Squirrel!

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Aetherlands....
well....
Very clear. Full on clarity and superb connection.
Swift and right on the mark communications.
Direct and informative replies and answers.
Very nice....I like this.

In the storage unit I got...there were some cool books I get to delve into...
those will be fun...
like The occult arts of ancient egypt...
and the Tibetan book of the dead... which surprisingly I haven't read yet
a few other interesting ones....
nice.

Dogecoin made me a couple thousand dollars.... VERY NICE $$$$!
My goal is within sight. $$,$$$

Isn't it great how it takes a disaster to sort and organize into something like perfection
It's messy and a bit chaotic and a whole lot of overwhelm at times...
but it leaves an imprint of completion and growth
like having your kids grow up and be good people
...you know they weren't always that way, little shits

so my battery is dying and I don't feel like going to plug it in..
and I have nothing deep to write and more or less am just riffing off some kind of energy that just wants me to finish this crap up and go do what I actually feel like doing anyway... so that's what imma do.

later... and I'll be back when I have something worth a shit to write about  LMAO


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"I summon forth the Universe to deliver me my IRS tax refund."
Much gratitude, yo.

oh yeah.. and pic