every time I look in the mirror, the past is gone....

...maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away... oooooOOOOooooooOOOOO
dream on, dream on, dream until your dream comes true.




Well, what is the point anymore?


I pay business tax on a business I no longer want. A business I ran to it's furthest point that I wanted to take it. I have mastered it.
Yes, I could go further, but that would require more work...and I really no longer care. My eyes have caught sight of another dream.
Why burn myself out further on something that no longer can make me smile. I want to pass it on to someone else. Or if anything just let it care for itself.
It could die and that would be okay.... I could have no customers and that would be okay.
Or I can let it go and continue on a new path, a new day, and maybe somewhere in the future we shall meet again and begin a great voyage together, but we would never know if I didn't let go now....and I'm not one to be afraid of letting go.

Time to break free....for I have let more important things go and this is nothing compared to that. Bon voyage mon amie. Je ...will see you again...maybe. (Okay, so I don;t remember much from my 2 awful years of French class)
Anyway, I will be making plans to set this ship to sail, with it's own crew off into the sunset.
It may burn, or sink, or take off to the stars, either way, I wish it well. I am done.
This year will be my last working for the woman (which is me technically)

I thought maybe it was just doing customs, and that was a big part of it, but putting fabrics together in any form, just sucks. I don;t even want to do the appliques anymore either. I don;t want sew them, i don;t want to add them on outfits, I don;t want to organize, order, create, list, or sell them. I thought maybe I could just hire people to do all the work, but even doing the footwork sucks. Paying the taxes sucks. What business is it of theirs anyway...

So I have a plan. And here's the plan, because I have to write it down, because it keeps me in line. Like when I listed my last plan which I did rahter well, although other circumstances beyond my control failed me (people failed me, lazy asses!

Okay, step 1: Use up all fabric I have, which includes getting others to help use up fabric too.
Step 2: list it all and get rid of it all and DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BUY MORE....
step 3: focus on my new adventure and DO NOT LOOK BACK AT WHAT YOU LET GO... (I like that word focus,,,because I'm going to be a photographer next year.)
Step 4: have someone switch out ; key to ' one so I won;t mess up all the damn time. My freakin finger just won;t go over one button more!!! UGH! I can spell, I just can't reach the ' button all the time.!!!!

PROS of my plan -
more time
more creative adventures
learning something new
going new places
only a one time purchase unless I break something or upgrading
has the potential for making money
will enhance my other talents later on in life
will give me reasons to go places
will give me a good reason to build me future projects
if by chance I want to sew, my new hobby will enhance both
I won;t have to bother with stuff

CONS of my plan -
my customers will miss me
I will need to say NO a lot
I will make substantially less money if any at all
I will have to deal with people in real life not just computer people...hmmm....i do not like this one
I would end up wanting things like props or nicer clothes, which cost money...
I would want to go places that may be far away
I would need to drag the kids with me if hubby was at work to do my new work...

well, I guess everyone is screwed then.....oh well, I;m jumping, catch me if you can you lazy ass losers who just sit there and think about shit and never do it, and then you DIE!
I , on the other hand will never die, just move on to something better...so you are screwed LOSERS!!!


But let's look at this from my other points of view....
I could choose anything in existence to do and have a guaranteed completion of outcome.
I could choose anything, even saving the lost or feeding the poor, or curing cancer...but I choose not to do those.Why? you ask, because...no one knows who exactly is lost...and quite frankly I don;t think they really are...sometimes I think the ones who are trying to 'save' others are merely trying to conform others to their way of thinking, therefore losing what precious gifts god gave them in the first place ( I have examples on this, but we can get to that another day!), the poor need to get off their asses and get a job or make a job, teach them how to live and how to enforce their will and grow a damn backbone, and to cure cancer all you need to do is keep your ph acidity above 8 and detoxify your lifestyle (which includes the food you eat).... see, problem solved.
But what do I choose to do...I choose to make people see alternate realities and think for once about their own evolution...and how will I do it....with a camera...and with a feeling, and with a question, and with a moment that makes them go... WTF!!!???
Yes, my magic pink donkey! (lol, got to read Cash and Joy's website to understand that one!)

So....I guess I have nothing else to talk about tonight...how boring huh?