On the lam.

I'm suffering from not having the time I would like to write...
Of course, we all have time, but it's what we do with it that 'makes' things happen, not the 'not having it', that's just our perception...as time is an illusion afterall.


But I have been busy....busier than I can recall, except for that last minute holiday order rush.....'where you sew from waking to sleeping and the house and family have to rely on themselves until it's finished' kinda busy.
So tomorrow at really stupid early...so early it's like sleeping but not knowing where you are...early... the evaluator who will give us free money and the ch/a installers will be invading my house.
Schoolwork will still need to get done amidst the chaos. Sewing will still need to get done. Chores and and house cleaning will need to get done, so will breakfast and lunch too. And I have roller derby practice. Hoping I can keep the day remaining on schedule as much as I can and be productive enough to not feel like the day passed me by. And then do it again the rest of the week.

I have found 3 potential 'gracious lovely people who can sew and own a serger' , with 2 of whom I will be meeting with this week!!! Is that a light at the end of the tunnel? HAHAHAHA!!! Probably not, but I like to think it is at all times, makes for a more enthusiastic journey :)

So, my new motto of the week is, "No apologies." Yep, that's right. So if I offended you this week or ever, you are screwed. I'm NOT sorry. I can make you feel better by explaining things, but I am not sorry. I will not be held responsible for your take on things.
I'm also feeling a bit rude this week too. So be forewarned that if something goes awry. I will be sure to include it in on my thoughts. If you decide to take it personally, that's your problem, and you are stupid. Yes, stupid. Does that offend you? Being called names.....going to whine to your momma and pout in the corner?...GOOD! Go in your corner and stay out of my way! I've got real work to do and real people to talk to and real life to live. I can't help it if you want to hide and whine, and pout, and suffer in your own perceived detriments. You place them on yourself and carry them around like a stupid person....
Now don;t get me wrong, we all pick up a mess here in there, but it is our duty to also let it go. Not carry it and expect someone 'as in a higher power' to deliver us from it....when we ourselves picked the damn thing up. All we have to do is drop it...or better yet, bury it, so no one else can pick it up after us.

I have no idea what I am saying today either, but I wanted to share a rather awful dream I had the other night. Well, one part was awful...
There was a shelf..like a square teetering on a pole...and on this shelf was a baby..an infant and when the baby moved the shelf would teeter side to side....eventually the baby slid off and down...though I couldn't see down to where it landed...I was thinking oh how awful that the baby would hit the floor or something!! I hated this dream!! So anyway, in my dream the picture floated down the pole to the next shelf below where 3 more babies were on that shelf...it teetered and another slid off and I was aghast!! No one was doing anything and it was like I was watching a movie and wasn't really there....So the picture floated down again to another shelf that was empty and down further to another shelf where a baby teetered on that one...it stayed there for awhile until finally it too slid off, though this time the 'camera' followed it downward to where I thought there would be a floor, but there wasn't...it was black water...the baby slid into it as had all the ones before....it was awful...!!!
It was like people were placing their babies on the shelves and leaving them there even though it was highly likely they would slide off and drown in the water below!
I thought later that maybe, as an attempt to not be accused of murder they just left the babies there and the shelf would be to blame...or the babies themselves for moving around..it was sick. I wonder if abortion works the same way... sick bastards.
I also had a thought about how certain 'churchs' work too. In that if you get pregnant before marriage you are considered in default...and they kick you out, and they turn against you...because you weren't good enough......and maybe that church family is all these people had....and how awful it would be for them to lose that family...and to what lengths would they go to keep it..... possibly having a secret abortion just so they could retain their status in their church family...and that is just perverted and backwards, but I wonder if it could be true that the church no matter how against they are of a certain practice...that they themselves being so judgmental and inconsiderate that they actually support that which they claim to despise....not intentionally, but by controlling it's citizens in fear. Using loss and fear and condemnation as a means to retain that happy feeling gushy love huggy feeling that so many think they are actually a part of...when in actuality those members go home and spread rumors and drama and contempt for one another....
Maybe it's just me, but I know what 'real' is....and the biggest fake people I have ever met are located on that church pew. Not all of them dumbass, but a few. Stop twisting shit around to make it go against you or your religion. GOSH! I just know someone out there reading this are gonna go..."you're the devil...how bad of you to judge...blah blah blah.."
And you know what...I'm not saying they are bad people. I'm not saying those select few are not children of God. I am saying that people get blinded sometimes though. I am saying that as a good person at all, then it should be your duty to show compassion and love and help them 'see'....if you still want to twist it around even more distorted so that it helps you make up negative accusations and ideals, then go right ahead...I choose not to do that to myself. I love you anyway....but I am not sorry ;) and remember 'offend' is the word of the month!

Okay, so I wrote nothing at all of importance and nothing at all of education, but I'll get there later this week if I survive that long and the inspiration hits. Love all you bodacious ludicrous envisioning vicarious exuberant felons with pink bunny ears!!! (((HUGS)))