I'm having my coffee...yum
I've completed 6 things off my to do list today...hooray
We got a sweet check in the mail yesterday which in turn will help pay off some things we've been holding out on...awesome
I also got a pair of new jeans in the mail too, which I love...sweet
I had to rewrite my to-do list since I had scribbled out those 6 items and it looked sloppy, but I now have 2 others already marked out...oh yeah
I'm going to work on my book tonight too...love
Tomorrow I get to go to roller derby...cool
and meet up with another lady who may be able to do the applique work I need...booyah
However...I am stuck in the indecision of whether or not I want to continue my sewing biz, I will not be doing customs...hell or high water, I will burn in fire or drown, but I will not do a custom set. I want my other life back....oh wait, what I mean, is I want the other part of my life to not be starved because sewing shit suffocates it's life out. But on the other hand, if I get my sewing people to make the customs, it won't really be my problem...sigh. Such issues that really are not issues, they only exist because I am afraid of being broke.
And...the cost that goes along with having other people make it...which is bad, because I'm poor, because I would need to buy all the fabric up front and pay my sewers up front, and then afterwards list and hope I sell out... ugh...decisions decisions...where oh where do I find someone to help me make my decision??? I need input...
Though, I still want to sew only what I want to sew, kwim? lol...I know I make no sense.
Sooooooo......have you ever had the feeling that the world is lingering on the edge of downfall? I do. Kinda like the smooth waters just before you go off the waterfall....or the quiet stillness just before a superstorm hits. Or the odd silence just before an eartquake. You've got to know what I'm talking about, I can't be the only person who sees the unseen...but that's what I've been feeling lately....but I find it rather beautiful....
I find it beautiful that people are protesting (the good way) in random cities. I find it beautiful that some people are taking notice in their health and in the foods they eat. I find it beautiful someone out there in the world has woken up from their slumber...and taken a step forward in presence and actually doing something beside being led around by whomever had control over them.....even if it was their idea of God.....
Ideas are bad when they too control you, bad when you find it hard to even follow your own made up guidelines to stay in cahoots with the big man upstairs...with whom you also have made up ideals about because someone told you that's how it was, or is supposed to be.
I'm sure they also told you that you have all this stuff to do to please Him too...but really....all He wants is your love, and you to talk with Him...and to just take notice that who He is and what He is...is the same as what you are underneath all those ideas and thoughts, and hindrances you have placed upon yourself.
To get to Him, you need to get to strip away that which is not really you...
Death is the stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" -- and find out, there is no death. ~ Eckhart Tolle
Anyway, enough ramblings, no one wants to hear about God nowadays...and those who do don;t like to share their ideas, or worse, they don;t like to hear the ideals of others....they don;t want to be persecuted...and they don;t want to know who you are, they don;t care who you are....because if they found out they wouldn't like you because you weren't like them....but we all know that every wave in the sea is totally different than every other...
Blindness keeps them from realizing we are all waves...
Oh, but better, something I saw in a Mutts comic strip... The cat was looking at the snowflakes falling and said something about them all being different, each one unique and pure, and lovely in it's own right,...and they were falling, blowing in the wind, some speedily, some slowly, some large, some small....and the cat said "like each one of us." All separate, but a part of the whole, which is the snowfall itself as a whole event...
Now of course we should know that snow actually forms around a speck of dust too, lol...but if you want to relate that to our inborn sin...go ahead...I prefer to fall to the ground with the rest of the snow and become part of the one and melt away...the dust stays there on the ground...because we get changed...yeah, that's how it goes my friends.
Soooooo....want to hear a story? I bet you do!
Once upon a time, in a dream of change...
I stood there upon a clifflike pillar. The sky was burnt orange and red and gray and went on forever... Hordes of people were down below the cliff filling up every space of the ground, continuous....they were all yelling and appeared angry. In the distance was another pillar where I saw someone else standing, though they were too far away to see who is was.
Then just before me the Lord appeared. He said "Look down, what do you see?". I looked at my feet, and at the dusty ground and rocks. I said "Nothing. Dirt, rocks?"
What is below you, keep it below you. And what's above, will always be there above you. And there beside you? It is there for you and with you."
Your hands." He said. I lifted them up, he took hold of them. "Your hands...let them be my hands. And your eyes, let them be my eyes. Your lips, let them be my lips. And your heart, let it also be mine." He said.
"See what I see, speak what I speak, do what I do, and above all, love what I love."
The violence below me...they must stay below me...God stays above....and the few others beside me, no matter how far, are for me and with me...the Lord was there with me too...He wasn't above or below. but before me...
Yeah, so my stories suck, so bite me.
Gotta get off the mushy stuff, let's talk about how awesome it would be to meet people you thought never existed in the real world. Yes, awesomeness....but I'm a spaz and would be all shy and shit, because I am shy actually.... I blame public school and the lack of a good role model.
Speaking of role model.....if you make someone up in your own mind as a role model, are you really your own role model? Yes, I am seriously messed up, lol. And yes, I do have stupid random thoughts flowing through my head on occasion (which means more than half the time) so you all get to see why I'm such a spaz, lol.
Then again, doesn't everyone think weird things? Kinda like after watching that awful cool horrible awesome movie called 'The Fourth Kind'.....and you just can't sleep well because you keep waking up and looking out the window to see if there's a little alien (or owl) looking in, like it just knew you watched an alien movie, lol. I hate (love) that movie....and will never watch it again. I do believe in aliens...because I've seen crap (even though I think it's all government secret stuff too.) So not cool, but yet awesome at the same time....see the problem I have with decisions? can you tell? lol
I'm going to take some pictures tomorrow too....yay!
But I have to go, because I've got a book to write! See you sweet cucumber radishes later. Be sure to dive in the vinegar juices and dill weed and be sure to say hello to the pumpernickel bread for me.
Jesus loves you, this I know...and we don;t need a book to tell us so.
Peace out, little pickles.
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