....hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it....
Bad. Love is not enough...and this pisses me off. You know when you read all those happy little slogans and verses that tell you how wonderful the world is and how squishy good things are...or could be..... Love is NOT enough...and NEVER will be. NEVER NEVER NEVER!
People need to wake up....but no matter how hard you shake them or trample on their head or blare loud music...they are lost into that dream state of unawareness.... they are lost and none can awaken them...except sometimes an awful experience...which is sad that it takes such vile means to get people to see anything.
Love is not enough.
What is?
Action perhaps? God didn't just love you and all of a sudden and turn everything okay...wouldn't that have been nice....even His love alone wasn't enough, so ours never could be. He had to take action....and so do we...but not without love too.
So helpless...hopeless...lost...when will we ever be released from this burden....
Frustrating day...but I do believe this is a day of action.
Today I quit my roller derby team :( sad I know, but it had to happen. Anyway, there may another one that I might be able to join, which would be cool too
Today....I am going to burn something down. My business....I am so sick of dealing with it....not that its hard or anything...sometimes stressful, but seriously I find it boring as hell...heck I don't think hell is even that boring, lol. So by taking action...I will either turn it upside down and shake it around until it looks cool....or I will discover that it is no longer cool at all and throw it away. I do not freaking care....and the fact some people think it is awesome and cool and even remotely important to me are wrong.... I use it for income...even though I feel that I spend $10 to make $12 or on real terms, I spend $550 to make $650.... really, I don't think it is worth all the frustration and planning and time and attention and difficulties and pain that it is worth.... if I raise my prices I don't sell....if I spend money and premake stuff I still end up with leftovers I can't get rid of...but who am I kidding...it is boring!! I think out of my entire 6 or so years (gee, how long has it been?..hmmm) I have maybe 10 sets that I love because I gave my time and attention and love into those sets....and I didn't care if they ever sold...I was happy making them. Now I can't do any of that, because I don't care and when I do 'want' to make something cool...I have all the 'have' to make stuff to get done first...and by the time those are finished, I have more, and by that time I had forgotten all about my great idea and all I remember is how great that set would've been had I had the time.
I want your ugly, I want your disease. I want your everything as long as it's free....I want you love...caught in a bad romance....
I feel that way between me and my business, haha....but it's not free and in fact it's getting more expensive...because ugly fabrics are expensive and the good ones are outrageous!!!...and I don't buy ugly, I'm sorry...I was not bought nice shit when I was a kid except for my first Nintendo game system and my guitar...thank you mommy :) ...so anyway...nowadays I buy exactly what I want or nothing at all...unless I can 'fix' it, lol.
I hope you don't mind me writing song lyrics while writing, lol....yes, I have my itunes playing...I can't help myself...
hmmm...so... my advice guy said I can buy all the fabric I want for holiday sets now and make money back later, instead of saving what I have now...though I;d rather start saving for my camera I will be buying. I hate sewing.
Except of course for that Mojo Jojo power puff girl set I 'want' to make, lol. Too bad I am not gonna get to do it just yet...grrr....
So let me tell you about OMG, INCREDIBLE....he mentioned something about 'you're going to have to jump if you want to live...'cause there's nothing better than the fall, and nothing greater than living.'
Which goes back to that letting go thing....you would think risking losing a little bit of income wouldn't be so traumatic...and it wouldn't be if we weren't broke as shit right now, lol.
Okay, really let's learn something...how about how instead of absorbing the problems of the world, the people repel them, so everyone can see them. If they were absorbed and taken care of by everyone, there wouldn't be problems, and when they did come up, they would quickly be dissolved....but nope, people repel them and they sit there and bounce around society like ugly viral diseases with no cure....
the cure is in ourselves....the cure is the light we can shine on them...and light dissolves darkness....
Little gods too blind to realize we are carrying all the light necessary to defeat that which is sin. Too blind to know the God in us can defeat the god of us.
oooohhh...deep ;) go think on it a bit.
The baffled king composed it Hallelujah. G'day my mighty oaks of wisdom and joy. Sway in the light and soak in the water of life.
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