the once and future king......hmmm....

I want to bust these mirrors.
Cause them to crumble into a trillion pieces....back into the sand they came from.
But I don't hate them.
Just like the steps, I suppose. It's not the mirrors that cause me this confusion....
....it is myself.....and I wallow in the frustration of not understanding.
I see them from time to time....
  ... this looking upon myself.
     ....and I cringe.
I'm trying to understand....
....what are they trying to teach me...?

I glance back up to Him.
He stands silent....watching me...waiting.
What am I supposed to do with these?
But this time the answers seep slowly....and I'm stuck with more unknowing than knowing....
....this is going to take patience, I see.

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I recently came to the conclusion that I don't like people....again.
Not that I didn't already know that....but I sometimes fall into the dream of thinking
people are mostly decent and aren't carbon copies of someone else.
That whimsical idea that maybe just this once I can act normal around the vast population
and not ultimately fall into subconsciously thinking people are sleep walking....only to realize
that I'm a bad actress, and people are everything but real.
I know this because I am practically an empath and I just kinda know when someone is reading from
the guide book and going through the motions....and I know when someone isn't. Because then I feel better....free-er. And those dead fake people are killing me...they are killing themselves.
   .......and I have this grand idea that probably isn't a very peaceful one.
It takes anger. It takes rage. It takes fervor. It takes things of grandeur and spirit. It takes FIRE.
....and I laugh a little....as I look into the mirrors................
A hammer can only create more mirrors......but the fire....can dissolve them.....back into which they came.....
... and these times when you write...and you see these connections....and smile....as what else belongs at the top of a tower....of a lighthouse....

The lightkeeper slowly moves her eyes back up to where He stands.
His eyes burning with a thousand colors of fire.....



Peace is overrated.
It is a sword after all.       
         (....ty Jonathon....)


"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." 

 "Take up your cross and follow me."


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So yeah, besides all that...
and also not including my other someother dimensional life...
I've been sewing.... 3 orders left, but I'm not rushed.....I don't think...
I've been selling fabric.... doing good. Hoping to keep up the momentum.
Probably not getting enough sleep.... been getting up early for stuff and I always stay up late...
Still have a busy week ahead, but possibly the last hectic one for awhile...we'll see.
I still have tons of stuff to do, and I'm simplifying some plans.
Of course, I still need to plan other things...ack...
...and I'm rerouting a few others.... (I'm totally flexible...eh!)
I feel like a chauffeur lately.....and now I know why the driving age is 16....it's the youngest they could legally figure to hurry up the process of not having to drive your kids around everywhere they needed or wanted to go....oy vey!
Been playing agar.io lately too...and I'm getting good at it, unless I team up with someone who doesn't know what they are doing.....but kinda feel bad if I mess something up and they lose too, lol.
There's a about 10 thousand more things going on. whatever. I tired.