Fire is..... unpredictable.

So this fire....
it burns stuff....
like yourself.
And it hurts a bit too....
and it's lonely....
and we still don't understand fully, but things have been chaotic and we can't think straight with all these fluctuating flashes of light that move in and out back and forth and we seem to get lost in its dance.
It's warm though....
and full of many colors too....
and this feels like we should be here but we really don't know why or for how long or what is going to become of us.
So we wait....
and we watch....
and we grasp at any tiny fragment of wisdom in hopes of managing to get the bigger picture to where this little heart can behold its greatness.


I've been watching carefully...how these things progress...to see what becomes of them. I take those things I've been given and ponder them often, perhaps too often...and play them again and again over and over until I'm satisfied. I'm not sure if they are lessons on something to learn from or something to let go. Something to attain or something to lose. Something to cherish or something to forget. And these things cause great heartache...maybe because they were intentionally left out of this life and knowing I've beheld them before....
Memories that are not my own....but are. People...my people.... vanished like they never existed....but if not then love could not exist either. Love is beyond time...and can never forget.
Damn it.
How can you burn out what is a part of you....?


And this is all droning out, this day by day charade of aimless wandering....with no fucking clue what the hell any of us are doing.
Fuck.

I'm going to have a silent chat with the boss man. He's beckoning. goodbye.