Let me burn.

I'm killing time right now...although I have tons of things to write...
yet nothing I feel up to sharing.
Butter is out... and I'm patiently waiting for him to get
done with his play time so I can go write my book...
I'm on the end of chapter 19, I think.
I fucking love these people... it's my favorite show.

Super saiyan downloads today.... and I'm hanging by a spiders silk...
(that's like saying hangin by a thread, but something less strong....
unless you actually know science stuff and know that a spider's silk is actually the strongest substance in the world. But you don't know science...so I'll let you think it's weak. Which in turn will make my figurative allegory make sense...)
When you shut a door behind you...do you look back and watch it close?
(Only if you have cats.... because those little shits know they aren't supposed to go outside and some of them actually understand that their claws can grab the edge of a not shut door and pull it open...then go outside and stare at all the things until you see they are out there...)
Anyway, back to the point...
The shutting door.... is exactly what I was saying about the dying yesterday...
and I see her leaving... I'm watching her... and I'm so freaking happy....although a bit disoriented...
(kinda like cleaning out a fish tank... you are cleaning it, but you are also stirring up the old shit (literately!) and it floats all around the tank... so it actually looks dirtier... but you are cleaning it out... and getting the dirt out... .. then you are done and put only clean water in it, and little gunk is floating around still (until you put that crystal clear stuff in it, that shit clears it immaculately)...and then wah-lah! A new clean happy fish tank... The same but filled with something new...)
Anyway... that's like this leaving of this person inside of me... and I know who's taking her place too... and I'm so happy, even if I can feel the disorientation...and I can feel the muck getting kicked up...and I love ever bit of it, because that stuff wants to come out and I want it to too. Fuck yes, more more more more more more more  MORE OF ALL OF THIS!!!
ALL OF THIS!!! I want MORE!
All the bullets. All the gunk, all the pain, all the joy, all. ALL. ALL THE THINGS!
I want MORE!
All the shadows and all the light (( secret spoiler right there regarding a certain title!! Not exact, but kinda close.. ;) ))
And every breath... all those things are complete inside of me.
Everything. Fucking clarity, even when the shit is floating around me. Fuck yes. Can you even imagine what kinda fantastic stuff is going to show up when Neptune goes prograde. I'll be psychicAF! But first... Mars just went prograde, which in turn is helping me get shit done.
BTW, I'm on level 47 on my list thing... rocking it! I get to pay off a credit card...
yeah, that one... the one that will be paid off with $800. It's on the way. I've already ordered it from the universal catalogue. Sweet!
Saturn goes prograde on the 6th..I've no clue what that means, but I'm sure it will be awesome too.

So....
family.... who ever thought this was a great idea?
Oldest is doing their own thing. Work, studying, math class, work, friends, etc. Who raised this responsible people person?
Youngest is growing too fast, but I can see energy changes a happenin'. Kinda weird to watch and really sloooooooowwwwww.....but kinda cool too.
Hubs...oh fuck... someone go dip him in a pool of happiness... and drown him in it... yes, literately and figuratively. Energy is still stuck there. I like watching myself through him. It's like watching a drama on tv that you wish would get a new writer, but you keep subscribing to see what the next episode's about. I find it fascinating. Evolution of a person and a soul's energy all while dancing with a steadfast grounding point... Like the stars... and the earth. It's absolutely beautiful.
Don't tell him that though.

What else... what else... ?
I haven't been able to chat with many of the guides in the otherworlds lately. I talked to a few and I'm very aware that there's something happening, a celebration? a party? a something? they are gathering, but are in good spirits.... it's almost annoying, as I'm used to them being kinda rude and bossy.
I guess we'll see....

13 work orders tomorrow... that'll take about 2 whole hours...unless people get in my way..
aquarium
ice cream
lasagna
a birthday cake
and writing! every day baby! unless I'm just freaking tired. totally rare, cause I don't want to miss what happens!
script outline still lies half finished... I'll need to have a chat with Storie about it.
9:08, must go! I got places to be and it's certainly not here.

Jussi! Ko terrse ma fhan, lu ke siat novach ma tas. <3

lass das Chaos der Sterne auf den Bergen ruhen und schlafe in den Wäldern

the depths are in her eyes

holy fuck balls...

it's me.
i'm dying.
fuck yes!
finally!
do you know how long I've been trying to kill her?!
YASSSS!!!!

and that advice...was for me... apparently... get it?.. a-parent-ly
I got to do what I got to do no matter what 'she' thinks...
Have you ever met Pele?
She is fire and wrath and inadvertently the regenerator of life...
give or take...I didn't look it up...
Have you ever met Athena?
She is power and strength and wisdom..
I didn't have to look it up... I've met her.
And the part of me that travels silently... always ready...
I'm letting her take over.
Say goodbye to my ass! Fuck yes!
I'm outta here!
Awaiting my ride! I've done manifested my other self to reign.
She is going to fuck some shit up.... I hope you are ready...
I am! I'm going to watch!
Yipppieee!!!!
Hopefully next time this blog gets a post it will be her... and not me.
Careful... she carries a sword...
it's in her mouth.
and in her eyes.
Eeek! Excited as shit!

I accept!
 _________________________________________________


chapter 19 and a half.
a few work orders tomorrow...
and I'm manifesting some cashola to pay off another credit card.
Want to hang with me on this journey... of course you do...
nothing like watching real time manifesting awesomeness...
"""
   It is $800 that will pay off that card.
Universe, send me $800 in cash.
I will pay off this card. I will pay it all off in one payment.
$800 in cash is mine and I request it to be in my hand and/or bank account.
Thank you.
    (fyi, we will consider this 'Day 1 of manifestation #AZ800')
now if I remember what I titled it, that is another issue.
So that feels fantastic!
Paying off that card because I chose to. And I can choose to do it for the next one as well.
Let's go! I know that was my smallest debt and now it's balanced out. Money, me and you are great together and we enjoy each others company and soon we will be doing fantastic things together. What you do for me is unending, we will dance in this bliss of abundance forever.
I accept  and receive your gifts to me. All of them. All of them. All the things. And all the monies!
"""
Good times... good times.
Ooooohhhh there's some stuff pouring in and I'm not sure what to do with it?
I guess that's not my option anymore.... she's going to handle it!
Loving this planet prograde, or whatever the fuck is happening energy thing.
Let's do this!
I feel like punching something!
Like to just get the energy out.
To scream. To start a fire. To ignite. To dance.
I should probably use this energy to manifest something else while I'm at it...


AGT is on, going to watch and then going to write.
Later people who actually make it this far...

Look to the horizon....

Where the earth and the stars meet...
   ... that's where we'll find each other.

____________________________________

It's the end of something.
I can feel it's death, even if I can't find what has died.
Everything is watching for the funeral...
to discover what was lost...
But the other side is awaiting to see what has been emptied.
For where there's a space, something will fill it...
what will it be?



I had a dream... and I happened to give someone some good advice to the detriment of their parents...
 *shrugs
so.... subconsciously, I'm going to accept the possibility that they received it.
I'm gonna watch and see what happens...
should be fun



*yawn...I'm tired.
not even 9 yet....
on chapter 17, or was it 18....hmmm???
nighttime walks are way better, by the way...
and glitter is awesome
that is all...

I will do it now

----Here... I want to give you me...
"oh, no thanks, I don't want that."
----Okay then.

Do you feel the kind of love I know...?
Where the sun and the moon dance upon life....
and sometimes they meet in the inbetween...
holding hands between worlds...
The sun could never embrace her....the moon.
Except on the day of the eclipse...
and the moon.... she moves across the skies unending...
because she remembers the touch of his hand.
She's the night and ecstasy...
she holds him in her dreams...
and she isn't blinded by his never-ceasing heat.
And he scorches...
but he doesn't see she holds the darkness at bay....
he doesn't see the shadow she casts.
he doesn't see the shadows she bears.
those darknesses she must hold...
he'll never understand the dark she carries...
or the pain she holds.
the suffering and the cold.
he can't light up her whole world...
and she doesn't want him to...
for the moon, loves both the light and the dark.

_______________________________________________________

I ran out of white paint :(
more painting tomorrow....
I sold that thing.
4 orders tomorrow.
a few groceries maybe
new theme getting adopted tomorrow....
-Do it Now-
not just the little stuff, like pciking something up off the floor.
but big stuff too, like serious shit...
because who would you be if you weren't afraid?
If you didn't wait or linger in indecision...
if you didn't feel like it right now...
new theme.... do it now... and everything will obey your Will.
I'll let you know how it goes, assuming I remember.
almost done with this book I'm reading...it's not that good...
at the end of chapter 16 in book I'm writing... 2 pages away from 17.
I'll get there tonight.

sometimes that book writes itself... there's a whole part a few chapters back that wrote itself... it was like watching a new episode of your favorite television show... I didn't even know what was gonna happen. It turned out really cool though.
And frankly, it writes itself anyway... I just have to type shit.
Anyway, it's almost 9 - time to go get some coffee and write.!

As the sun falls beneath your eyes and the shadows rise from the cold. Seek out your fathers and mothers and bid them blessings of youth and of bravado. Cast out the traumas you hold within and carry a new child.... one of passion and of gold. Follow the flow.

Updates are far better than downdates...

   ....
you ever feel like you are a surfer...
and you are 'the' surfer that always catches the wave first?
and you surf and enjoy all that comes with the new things...

 and then everyone has no clue because they can't understand all that you learned form that wave you caught....because only you and maybe some unknown to you person caught the wave first....

then eventually the others catch that wave and learn the same things.... and everyone surfs that wave together... like a thousand people... and they high five each other and share all their cool stuff they figured out...  you know, all the stuff you learned months ago... and they celebrate....
then eventually the rest of the world catches that wave too.. maybe...

but now you have like 3 days to celebrate and share info with those thousand people... until the next wave comes... and you know you'll be riding it alone... and maybe that one other person you've never met... and you'll again be ahead of everyone else by the time they get to catch it.... and again they won't understand you... and again they won't grasp the depth of what you say.....
until they catch it later... and they say the same things and everything is acknowledged, all the high fives and celebrations and hooplah...

yeah... my life... and I'm watching the next wave build... and I still choose to ride it first. Even if I do it alone.
______________________________

there's something dragging down my vibrations, yo.... not liking it one bit...
you know when you list something for sale...
and they offer less, which is fine... I don't need it.
but then they want to disassemble said item for whatever reasons... and it's like... well no... just buy it, ain't nobody got time fo dat...
so then they are like, okay whatever...
then they say they only have so and so amount when they thought they had more, would I take even less.... ?? O_O
oy vey....
it's a bad deal, but I still don't really need the item... I don't care if it sells or not.
so I said only today if they come pick it up, I'm not driving out to meet.
.....
by tonight, I'm unlisting the thing and just going to look at it sitting in my house somewhere.... because I'm so over this whole flip floppy buyer thing. Go spend twice as much on a new one, yo. I'm done being helpful...
that is so not what I want to be remembered for. fuck that shit.
I could tell them to pay me with a box of snickers and a kitten.... but someone I live with would have a heart attack and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate my hilarious efforts to form great memories....
anyway..... we have enough cats... :(
 ___________________________________________

On chapter 16 in book, I think...
getting there......

have a half outline of next script.... but see... here's the thing.... Killian decided to push to the head of the line and he just realized he doesn't even know what to do with his own story.... we have the first half.... but now he's all depressed and is just sitting there weeping over his little flask of whiskey... what a fucking baby.... now I'm stuck with half a script outline and I'm not sure where he wants to go with it. Do you want to find a way back to Ireland? I ask him... "No." " I don't know" "Do I?" "Maybe" well, no".... fuck Killian, figure this shit out... - Do you want to stay with the american family? Cause some mischief? " I don't know" Maybe" well, no" Do I?".... argh.... leprechauns are little bastards... and him having an alcohol problem isn't helping...

I might go back and just work on my others, reedit them and such. Not sure yet.

had a lot of work orders this week... but now they are all finished. I have 3, but they can't be done yet.
so looks like I'm sleeping in tomorrow! yay! unless they actually send me more between now and 9am.

Have a painting to paint.
Have a book to finish reading...
Have another I need to start reading
have some videos I need to watch.
have a movie that needs watched
and right now, I have supper to cook....soooo.....

later peepers of mutiny and ecstasy, let the raindrops of nirvana cast their eagle eyed miracles down into your cubicles of metatron revolution. And have a piece of cake with it too... and Irish whiskey. ;)

long distance relationships never work out

Um..... so this thing happened...

I don't even think I can explain it.
it's like....
similar to the awareness that you are not your body...
you are not here to 'do' things...
that you are the energy that moves...
and your body is here to express that energy...
like that...for the most part... maybe not quite..
add in some superconsicous awareness of being out and apart from your body
but that you can utilize it's senses at the same time.
knowing that all the limitations and perceptions only belong to the mind of your body
but not you.
not you.
none of those are even with you, they can't reach outside of your body's mind
...
it's like your body is the computer and it has it's own programs that run
whether they be to protect you, or run distracting bullshit in the background
or whether those programs only filled up the cache and you've yet to  get serious about
installing those updates, or upgrading your systems/software...and even hardware if needs be.
You are the one...the energy ... that operates the computer.
not just the electricity... but also the user if you keep this awareness...
but still more...
hmmm...
it is kinda beyond the framing of words... its more of a completeness feeling...
but you are the completeness...
 __________________________________________________

Last night, I had this dream about being in school.
 I was supposed to be in a film editing class but I was lost and didn't know where to go.
.... and you know school dreams...
it's like your subconscious is telling you it's time to learn something new..
argh...
and then...get this...
I ordered some artwork...and it was delivered to the wrong address yesterday...
and today.... no shitting you... found out the post man had delivered it to.. you guessed it.
the fucking school.
He had to drive out, get it, and redeliver it to me.
....
so.... I can decipher this a few different ways...
I'm not interested in film editing... although just today (synchronicities, yo!)..
I watched a little video short of someone who wrote, directed, and animated the whole thing...

and so yeah....I could do that...  I can write. I can storyboard (love storyboarding!!!). I can do concept art.... coloring is not my thing... but I know someone who likes to color. <3

what I have never done is animation... unless you count those little pictures I draw in the corners of those tiny notebooks... and when you flip through them real fast... it's a movie! Yeah the little guy usually dies at the end by a boulder, but hey... I was tired of drawing by then...or running out of sheets
I know nothing of directing. Truthfully, it scares me since I have no clue what it entails. And might possibly involve talking.... out loud.... to people.  yeesh... O_O
I'm certain film editing will need to be added eventually....but I have kids for that.
but you see...
I couldn't find the class in my dream... the lady at the office started to look it up before I woke up.

or...... I can decipher this as to go to school for art... HAHAHAHAHAHA!
why the fuck would you go to school for art?! Last time I went to school for art... I almost punched a teacher for painting over my shit. I have a witness.
I don't really like 'art'. In other words, I don't like doing it. the drawing, the painting, the challenge of getting your brain to shut the fuck up about that tiny ass spot noone can see (sometimes not even yourself!) that you know you messed up on, but it really doesn't fucking matter.... and you argue with that little bitch perfectionist inside you that can't even please herself... and feel utterly grateful when you're done with it!
I don't like doing visual art... I take it way too personal.
I like writing. My kind of writing... where I can say fuck. and spell shit wrong... or shorthand. or refrain from correct punctuation. and ramble just because I want to... hells to the yeah!

I think I had another possibility.... but my brain just shut down...
so the new downloads can take effect.... yeah... we'll go with that.
what else...
hmmmm....

people who are related to me are headed out to Colorado. For a funeral. Grandpa died.
I could write something others refer to as heartfelt or sympathetic... but that's not how I roll...
I feel too much and say too little... and what I do say, I shall not hose it down with the oohs and ahhs of society's niceties.
(introverted empath problems 101...)
To relatives near and far, even if I don't know you... even if I do... and you are still trying to hide behind your bullshit... We've all managed quite well to escape being truly seen. I dare you to step beyond the veil and be a space for one another. Open, honest, vulnerable, true....and above all, brave.
 so take it or leave it... I will admit that it may be too soon to contact gpa's spirit, fyi, but this should be fun nonetheless....
___________

   If we were to meet, upon the sands of sunset and stand before the pillars of heaven. Who would you be? Would you keep your eyes lifted high awaiting the King? Would you stare in awe at the angels? Would you embrace those whose smiles were thought forgotten and rejoice in a life well lived? Would you feel the rays of the light upon your face and drift peacefully in the breeze, remembering the feelings of your breath and of your dreams? Would you look back upon the earth and cast a silent whisper across the thoughts of those you've loved?
   I see you. Standing tall and strong. Is this what you looked like in your youth? I never knew you, but I can see that you were stronger than you revealed. I can see your silent thoughts drift around you like beacons of power. Passion. Romance. Your heart still beats for those you love. Your soul dances even if your feet remain steady. I can see you.
   You're warm. tender. patient. and hold up the world around you unseen. You've carried much, but do not regret it. And for the time... you no longer remember it.
   And who are you? You are steadfast. Like poetry without words. A song that can only be heard by a few. Satisfied with little. Satisfied with even nothing. Your faith was enough. You are enough.
  And you move your eyes across the threshold and see them. You remain silent but I can see the light in your eye. I can see the smile even if you refuse to show it upon your face. Still being strong. Still being the observer and the watchman. You nod. You're happy for them. You're honored to wait for them. Steadfast. True.
   The doors open and you don't hesitate to climb the stairs. You dart up them fairly quickly. Knowing where you belong. Knowing where you're at. Knowing who you are. And knowing everything you were.
   I never knew you in life, but here, where everyone is a part of one another. We are understood and we understand. We are one. I see you, I hear you, I feel you. I love you.
   Later, gramps. *throws up gang style peace sign

I don't think he knew who I was...lol...

______________________________________________

   "So, what do you do?"

me: I apparently talk to spirits. Living, dead, in the in-between. Ya know... in general.
   "O_o"
me: yeah, me too.

The Goddess approaches

Right now... the scourge of a thousand years of debasement fluctuates within.
But you have miscalculated with whom you are dealing.
The level at which you have placed my ancestors does not apply to me.
The level at which you function... is primitive, at best.
Your words, your tricks, your silent expressions.
I see them for what they are and I see the ancestors within you screaming.
They scream out for control.
They rage for the ways things have always been.
But I am the one who has became.
I am the one who recognizes you...them.
And I will choose to devour you both.
I choose to allow your surrender.
I choose to forgive you for the past ages.
I choose to walk across your throne and place myself upon the seat.
You do not have to bow to me.
You can choose to stand and watch....
or you can choose to move.
Regardless, my path has been chosen.... and I shall trample upon your back if you hesitate.

Good day to you sir.
 __________________________________________________

The planets are in retrograde and it is a beautiful thing.
The passing away of the old. Of the tired. Of the worn. Of the aged.
Watch it all disintegrate before your eyes.
Help it along. Allow. Allow. Allow. Allow.
No more control.
It has permission to leave, because you have permission.
No more control.
Turn wild. Turn savage. Avenge yourself.
Let it all go.
You can't imagine the beauty that can arise from a blank page.

When the planets turn their paths and move forward....
the stars will rejoice with such as you have ever known.
Your soul will ignite in the restarting of a new age.
You are the fire.
You are the fire.
You are the fire.
You will cover the earth.
Set it ablaze in glory. Like a star.
Your life will be glory.
Patience. The time is coming. The clock ticks....
and when the chime sounds....
if your spirit is ready for the new downloads....
if you made the room...
if you cleaned and made space...
Your rewards will fill up the lands...
on earth.... as it is in heaven.
Trust. Allow. Trust. Allow.
The Time Lords are on watch.
Do your part.
It is coming.
And the old that has not departed will be blinded.
The worn that was not discarded will be turned to ash.
The tired that was not put to rest will be cast aside.
The aged that was not used up will be seared shut forever.
It will leave you empty if you hold on too long.
_______________________________________________________

There's much more I could write. Much more.
About life, about projects, about time, about plans.
But the fire is boiling as I stare at those things that try to keep me small.
Not today. Not ever again.
The Universe has my back.
The one's who've brought me thus far.... are in my corner.
The one inside of me.... you'll never stand a chance.
Pray I learn to keep my tongue still by the time I take my seat on the throne.

I haven't been spending much time here.
It is not my job to control you.
It is not my job to make you understand.
It is not my job to explain anything.

Good day to you sir.

Whisper in the sound of silence.

Breathe.
In... then let it go...
Out...
you must let it out...
or it will become stale, used, dead.
like energy that is held too long.
like energy.
the life of your objects...
the life of your money...
the life of your body...
the life of your words...
the life of your dreams...
   wring it out if you must
       express it out of you
           burn it all the way out
               scream it
                   dance it
                       whatever you must do....
            you must do the thing
use the energy, it's here for you
it never runs out
use it up, and it will never cease coming...
the more you use, the more will come.
the more you get rid of, the more you get
the more you spend, the more you get paid
the more you move, the more you can move
the more you breathe, the more breaths you take
the more you write, the more words come
the more you do the thing, the more things you are

____________________________________________________

I can't hear you, your fears talk too loud.
life...my friends... fucking do the thing.
and that other thing too
and all the things
whatever bitch you have living inside you that says you can't...
don't kill her... she's immortal... just like you...
kiss her... and take her with you on that thing you 'can't' do
and dance with her on the way to pick up that thing you 'can't' have
....remember
      .... it's not that you 'can't'.
             .... it's that you won't.
everything is for you
everything
if it's inside you, it can be outside of you too
just decide it will be
_______________________________________________________

Chapter 8, btw

searching endlessly for a media console...
I must be hard to please, because many of these things are fugly.
or the wrong color... or too short... or open shelves... (I'm not a dust mop, yo)
or they are awesome, but are not as exciting when it comes to the $$$
it's okay.... relationships take time... ? don't they? wait...
yeah, so I'm looking for a media console I'm in love with... to make a part
of my living room family...
like that picture I just bought... I only wish they had a correlating one to go with it.



soooo........ let's introduce the situation I find myself watching...
I pay off a debt... like for reals, right...
then within a week...probably less.... I spend twice as much, lol
but I've decided I will and it all feels really awesome to do...soooo
I'm trusting the universe here and just doing that allowing thing...
allowing myself to do/have/be the thing.
yeah, all the things.
whatever I want...or in this past week's case... whatever the oldest wants.
do I spoil the kids...? no. but I certainly support them and their ideals.
Cause I support my own, yo!
so math classes and a birthday computer....
I got a picture... and some paint...
totally fair.
all is fair when you're good to yourself.... then you can be good to others.
ENERGY, baby!
ALLOW
the etymology of the word allow means - to praise
Praise yourself
Praise - is to prize --- so PRIZE yourself
to place a value on.
Value yourself
You are fucking worthy.

Etymology. Look it up.
Everything you say is a spell.
So fucking cast a love spell and enjoy the ride.
_________________________________________________

and then let's get real....
there's these random thoughts of wanting to control and 'fix' things
like situations, or in more of a exact case... having the youngest not be on the computer all day.
but ...see... you got to know yourself, yo.
if you pull him off because of need for control...
both trust and respect are sacrificed.
you can ask, and he'll take a break, yeah... but then you question if it was enough.
if you ask what he wants to do, indecision reigns and there's no where to move to.
then it becomes nothing but a repetitive motion... not what you want
but if you allow....
and you let go....
and you trust....
and let the world move you instead of you moving it...
and we talk... and we trust... and we move....
it may not appear we move much...or in any particular direction...
but there's something that grows...
whether that's trust, or respect, or love... we won't know unless we continue.
and I trust the universe
and I trust myself
and I trust my son
and I trust everything
---- and the need to 'fix' is let go. And I trust I'm in a better place.
and he's in a better place than one trying to be controlled...
Be free, child of the future.
They'll need to see your freedom.
They'll need to know how to say 'no' to doing things the hard way.
They'll need to see how to allow, how to trust, and how to move quietly in the chaos.
How to be strong and keep hold of their truths. Because you never bend to the control of others.
Be strong. Be wise. Be all that you dare.
I will not thwart your power that you hold close. The same power you've yet to show everyone.
But dear child... I'm one with energy and I can feel it, if not see it, within you.
And I know when one shines brighter than I.
I love you.
I will choose for you to be free.
I will allow you to be.
I give you this honor, as your mother, as your guide, as your friend.

__________________

what else you got?
    

 

Split the night

Shit is about to get real.

By 'real' I mean the world is going to manifest some fucking awesomeness
that right now you can only see in the ether realms.
Holy holy holy shit!!!

I keep looking for something to hang onto...but what fun would that be.
Let's fucking fly.

I will no longer be available for anything that does not support 'next level' me.


I will no longer waver. I will no longer spare you. I will no longer keep you safe.
You will burn, and it will be I who will leave the scar.
Watch the fuck out.
Get out of my way.
I may not know where I'm going, but I will run you over.
Splat.

Pele has awakened. Athena has awakened. The others....are here.
I must go log into the GPS.
It was a fine time with you all.
Now leave with your blessings.... or I shall cast you out.
You've forgotten.... about me.
I'm not your hero. I'm my own...
which sometimes makes me your villain.
I'm fine with that.
I accept.
Let's fucking do this.

______________________________________________________________

so yeah.
work orders, living room painted...
I made it to level 43 on my list thing. Get to do artwork! (x2)
First, I'm going to straighten out my living room and put the covers back on the plugs
then I'm going to hang up curtains (temporary curtains)
then go prep some frames for that artwork
then search amazon for better curtains and pinterest for window box ideas that aren't from the 1960's
then dinner
then write. I'm on chapter 7
then meditate....cause I want to know where I'm headed. Clarity, yo.
I will no longer be available for anything that does not support 'next level' me.
and wandering is not supportive. fuck that.