yet nothing I feel up to sharing.
Butter is out... and I'm patiently waiting for him to get
done with his play time so I can go write my book...
I'm on the end of chapter 19, I think.
I fucking love these people... it's my favorite show.
Super saiyan downloads today.... and I'm hanging by a spiders silk...
(that's like saying hangin by a thread, but something less strong....
unless you actually know science stuff and know that a spider's silk is actually the strongest substance in the world. But you don't know science...so I'll let you think it's weak. Which in turn will make my figurative allegory make sense...)
When you shut a door behind you...do you look back and watch it close?
(Only if you have cats.... because those little shits know they aren't supposed to go outside and some of them actually understand that their claws can grab the edge of a not shut door and pull it open...then go outside and stare at all the things until you see they are out there...)
Anyway, back to the point...
The shutting door.... is exactly what I was saying about the dying yesterday...
and I see her leaving... I'm watching her... and I'm so freaking happy....although a bit disoriented...
(kinda like cleaning out a fish tank... you are cleaning it, but you are also stirring up the old shit (literately!) and it floats all around the tank... so it actually looks dirtier... but you are cleaning it out... and getting the dirt out... .. then you are done and put only clean water in it, and little gunk is floating around still (until you put that crystal clear stuff in it, that shit clears it immaculately)...and then wah-lah! A new clean happy fish tank... The same but filled with something new...)
Anyway... that's like this leaving of this person inside of me... and I know who's taking her place too... and I'm so happy, even if I can feel the disorientation...and I can feel the muck getting kicked up...and I love ever bit of it, because that stuff wants to come out and I want it to too. Fuck yes, more more more more more more more MORE OF ALL OF THIS!!!
ALL OF THIS!!! I want MORE!
All the bullets. All the gunk, all the pain, all the joy, all. ALL. ALL THE THINGS!
I want MORE!
All the shadows and all the light (( secret spoiler right there regarding a certain title!! Not exact, but kinda close.. ;) ))
And every breath... all those things are complete inside of me.
Everything. Fucking clarity, even when the shit is floating around me. Fuck yes. Can you even imagine what kinda fantastic stuff is going to show up when Neptune goes prograde. I'll be psychicAF! But first... Mars just went prograde, which in turn is helping me get shit done.
BTW, I'm on level 47 on my list thing... rocking it! I get to pay off a credit card...
yeah, that one... the one that will be paid off with $800. It's on the way. I've already ordered it from the universal catalogue. Sweet!
Saturn goes prograde on the 6th..I've no clue what that means, but I'm sure it will be awesome too.
So....
family.... who ever thought this was a great idea?
Oldest is doing their own thing. Work, studying, math class, work, friends, etc. Who raised this responsible people person?
Youngest is growing too fast, but I can see energy changes a happenin'. Kinda weird to watch and really sloooooooowwwwww.....but kinda cool too.
Hubs...oh fuck... someone go dip him in a pool of happiness... and drown him in it... yes, literately and figuratively. Energy is still stuck there. I like watching myself through him. It's like watching a drama on tv that you wish would get a new writer, but you keep subscribing to see what the next episode's about. I find it fascinating. Evolution of a person and a soul's energy all while dancing with a steadfast grounding point... Like the stars... and the earth. It's absolutely beautiful.
Don't tell him that though.
What else... what else... ?
I haven't been able to chat with many of the guides in the otherworlds lately. I talked to a few and I'm very aware that there's something happening, a celebration? a party? a something? they are gathering, but are in good spirits.... it's almost annoying, as I'm used to them being kinda rude and bossy.
I guess we'll see....
13 work orders tomorrow... that'll take about 2 whole hours...unless people get in my way..
aquarium
ice cream
lasagna
a birthday cake
and writing! every day baby! unless I'm just freaking tired. totally rare, cause I don't want to miss what happens!
script outline still lies half finished... I'll need to have a chat with Storie about it.
9:08, must go! I got places to be and it's certainly not here.
Jussi! Ko terrse ma fhan, lu ke siat novach ma tas. <3
lass das Chaos der Sterne auf den Bergen ruhen und schlafe in den Wäldern
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