Laughing at chaos.....

Props are going to be the death of me.
One of my clients (yay, I get to say client!) wanted some props for her photoshoot (yes, the free photoshoot) and found a chair she liked on craiglist....she said she will buy it and give it to me since she has nowhere to put it anyway, lol.
I offered to pay her for it (it's only $20) but she said no...well...there are some awesome people out there after all.

I have 2 photoshoots tomorrow!!! One at 6:45 am in Chatt. and another at 6:30 ...in Chatt....
so you know where I'll be.

Yes...in the other town that has more people....the town that I'm slowly debating moving to, because even though there's more people, Publix and Greenlife is closer...so is my mom's pool. So is more business, which equals more money, so is hubby's work. And I can take my work with me ;)
And saving money on gas...
However...I need a house that is finished. with an updated kitchen, hardwood floors (I hate carpet!), a nice neighborhood, a yard big enough for a dog and a garden, double garage, 3 bed, 2 bath, and either an extra room or a full finished basement for my work. Lots of windows, but not lots of walls (I hate walls!), and a paved driveway because we are going to need somewhere to do art class and rollerskate and ride bikes. Minimum of 1200sq.ft. ch/a and a fenced in yard.
Problem with all the above is that a house like that is over $150,000.... or more like over $175,000.... and we are not that rich yet. And then I'd have to lock my door when I leave home, and we couldn't shoot guns in the yard or have loud annoying guineas.....(which btw, I have I think 11 keets!!! they keep moving, so at least 10) but I think I'm ok with that.

But....then I'd need a better vehicle....and a place to put my props....But....being closer to town, I could open up a shop and store my props there, lol. But then I'd have 4 jobs....and no time....But....they'd be sparatic and would actually help my adhd issues, so I would actually work less and make more and not get bored.
But...then I would have more money to take vacations....which in turn is bad because once I go to Australia, I may not come back at all....or the Maldives. I can stay there and make island clothing and take pictures for the tourists....


Anyway...let's wake back up and share a thought.
Hmmm...I'm thinking I need a freaking cell phone once I am able to make any sort of money off taking pictures....dang it...how I don;t want to pay for something...ugh!
I'm thinking my to-do list is manageable, but I don't want to do any of it except the easy stuff I can't do yet (I have no money to do it). I'm thinking that I have to get up early and there is probably zero chance that once I lay down I will actually go to sleep. I'm thinking this life out here in the boonies are for hillbilly's and hicks and I'm neither...nor do I want to be. I'm thinking this house needs so much work done, that it will never get finished and it makes me frustrated that it isn't. I'm thinking I'm getting bored writing about nothing too, lol.
I have other things to say, but they would be un-understandable, and some peoples would take them the wrong way, and I'd have to delete this post eventually because I might feel bad later about sharing my real thoughts.

Fuck it, let's do it anyway...it's the least I can do after you bravely managed to read all that other crap I wrote above.

I'm frustrated. Not at people (well, besides the idiot people who don't know jack from shit) but about more higher up there issues. Like the big man upstairs..who's not upstairs...but we say that because our minds have been warped since birth to believe that. Frustrated that He is here, but not, there, but not, and not here yet, and is. Frustrated that our mind continually tries to look outside of ourselves to find Him, but knowing He is not there...He is in here. Frustrated that our brains continue to forget that too. Frustrated that we still think to start our prayers with something like writing a letter than talking face to face. Frustrated that saying papa or father isn't how one would really talk to their father....frustrated that I don't even know how that would really be anyway. Frustrated that He's being all silent and crap, besides his laughing fit he had the other day, and wondering what the hell was so funny...cause the boss man's not talking these days. So frustrating!!! Lol.
I don't think it's funny...I'm not even sure what was supposed to be funny. Last time He played this silent treatment on my ass, it may have been like a few weeks, but dang, it felt like for-freaking-ever! I can't even remember how long it really was...heck, it could have been a week.
Well, anyway, now it's been a long freaking time...I'm not sure..but it feels like it! And all I have gotten from Him, is His laughing.....argh! I think He is messing with me and I don't like it!.....well, I don't like it yet.
See my dilemma, do you see my frustration!? if you had any clue how is feels to be able to talk to the boss man and see the boss man and such...then you would understand how intolerable it feels when He's being all quiet and invisible and far away like...it sucks ass...and there's no telling why until it's all over with.....until this lesson, or test, or whatever He's planning has come to fruition...and at the end of it....you go 'oh'...like you really are an idiot and you know you knew, but forgot sometime between now and when you were 2. And then you laugh...cause yeah, it was funny.... but it's not so funny when He's laughing and you're in the dark. Argh!

I have got to get prepared for tomorrow and get to sleep, and stuff.
Wish me luck for tomorrow....even though I don't believe in luck, lol. I don't believe in wishing either. hmmm.... Pray I don't screw up! That sounds better :)