You don't have to invite me....

What are we going to do?
---
~"We're not going to do anything."
---
Okay.
So... we're gonna be something?"
---
~"No."
~"We're going to sit with what we are."
---
...okay...

_________________________________________

How can so much be packed into such small words?

DO - implies there's an action to take.
Like you have to physically procure matter.
Work for it.
Move it.

BE - it implies an active attention towards be-ing.
Like you have to notice it.
Try for it.
Be-come it.

Oh, but darling... that ^ is not how the heavens work...
.......
ARE - means it is already so.
Like you are already complete.
Have already completed it.
It is.

All you have to 'do' is know it.
All you have to 'be' is who you 'are'.... what...you are.

Ahhh...I see what you've done there...
.......
WHO - implies that we are separate from.
Like we are set apart.
Individuals without connection.
Alone.

But...
WHAT - means we are a substance.
Like we are a unified field.
Each part of the whole.
One.
_________________________________________________

Fearless.
Each step makes you move to a different version of fearlessness...
Like you thought you were brave...until something new comes up...
and you flow with it like a boss... and NOW you feel even more fearless.
BraveAF.
And the whole world hangs in the midst and you wonder what would happen
if it fell from the sky.
You'd still stand. But would it hurt? Would you feel the pain? The terror?
 Can we feel anything anymore?

So today a feeling came to me that I rarely get to tangle myself with.
Sometimes wondering if it was still buried within me...
and yes. yes it was.
It was dug up today. And I'm thankful for it.
These things trapped in the darkness... things I couldn't find on my own.
At least not until something reminded me of their presence.
That attention of mine can't search for what it has forgotten...
but today... you reminded me.
Perhaps totally on accident on your part...
But thank you, anyway... for showing me where I need healed.
Where I need loved.
I shall give it to her.
Because she is allowed to ask.
She is allowed to receive.
And I am also allowed to give.
I can choose to do it all.
And I do.

And one stupid thing... that one stupid thing... showed me.
What a blessing you are.
And you aren't able to receive even that from me...
Damn it. I miss you.
   ..... and as per yesterday's highlight...
""Did god loiter around in the dark for weeks before really just deciding to turn on the light?""
Fuck yes he does...
Dumbass.
But I assure you it was most likely years. Perhaps lifetimes.

And how long do you wait for your soul mate to step out of his darkness?
As long as it takes.
Because you don't realize who I really am, do you?
I didn't come here for them.
I didn't come here for any of them.
I came for you.
I came for you.
And I have angels that walk beside me as I walk with you through your hell.
And I walk unafraid, fearless, BraveAF.
Because nothing can touch a star.
Not even you.
Not even you.
__________________________________________

Whoo! that was fun!
I like writing! I am gonna get paid to do this shit!
I know that was kind of long for some of you...
but it's oozing with deep deep shit.
I don't mean to drown everyone, but it happens, yo.
Atlanteans do that.
Cause I'm supposedly one of them... ?? who knows.
It's fun to go with it though, why not, right?
There's only 18000 reasons why I'm playing along...
and it's fun to negotiate whether or not someone will think I'm being sarcastic, truthful, or lying
... and that is totally fascinating to me. I love people, they are so weird.

Anyway....
I successfully wasted the entire weekend!
I slept in.
I wasted time on facebook and Farm Heroes Saga.
I didn't work on my book or screenplay.
I didn't work in the yard.
But I laid in the driveway today and sat with what I am for hours.
I wrote a testimonial yesterday too on a course I took.
    (it was good writing there too)... I should totally write more...hmmm.
well... I'm writing my adventures!
and now I'm going to watch a movie.
then have some ice cream.
then go and douse myself with some love to heal that shit that got unearthed earlier...
and if I must, I will past-hack that too... cause it works for everything else, why not.
Just have to locate the seed.... the beginning, the original download....
then sleep...
and do that 1 whole order I have tomorrow... unless they send me MORE!
and today I made $40.

Namaste.