Day 7 of 100 of WTFIW....F
Watching.
Watching the act of doing nothing.
Because nothing is so important at this moment, and we sometimes feel we have to keep it going...
but we don't. We don't have to play the game.
We don't have to get up out of bed and complete tasks, we don't have to check off the lists.
We don't have to see this, or go there, or be that, or get those.
Are you afraid of sitting still?
Of being in the motionless void?
Of feeling?
hmmm...
there happened to be a deeper trench here than I realized
and even as I float freely, I discovered this tether
and I untied myself from it.
My guide asked. "Are you sure?"
yes
yes
I've been given everything for free by the universe
and the only things that costed me were those things I thought I had to buy myself.
there's no reason to be anything other than what I am
and I am the universe.
I am free.
Always free.
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chapter 4 in book.
At the moment it feels really scattered and thrown together! YAY!
Just like the stars. <3
I'm taking on a new love interest with my ukelele.
but I'm thinking it needs a paint job.
and a name.
same goes for the piano....
I've almost got this song that won't cooperate with my fingers...
it needs a name and a paint job too....
yes, I am one of those people who paint shit...
but you know what I'm doing, right...
I'm procrastinating on every creative endeavor I have planned.
Why?
*shrugs.
who knows... but I'm sure once I get started, I'll be like fire.
fire in a drought.
and it will be a bonfire
until I burn out...
and that's the beauty of it.
and then the land is scarred, and blackened with char
and the wind courses freely
and the rains come.
the rains.
and things wash away, moving here to there there to here and we all dance
and then...
it all regrows.
and this chaos it the best thing I can offer you.
You get all of me.
for free.
you're welcome.
thing is... my time to meander is short.
like shorter than a midget without hair
and I see the start line...and I can't keep my feet from lining up...
it's like getting on a ride at an amusement park you've never been on, but all coasters are the same, yes?
so you have that nervousness, because you don't know what to expect, not really anyway...
will it be exhilarating?
will it kinda suck?
fast, slow, high, low?
backwards? loops?
screaming passengers?
but you're in line... and what's worse than getting on the ride when your time comes?
leaving the line....
so you stay, even as your heart pounds, because chicken is for the coop...
It's like those rides that bring you really fucking high... and then drop you.
that line sucks. You even get to watch the ride while you wait.
and then your turn comes and you go towards it... you know this sucks.
then you get on and the straps... you are in for it now..
and it sucks...and it sucks...
and it lifts and you hate every bit of it.
and you get to the top and it turns and you laugh, because you have no other choice now...
and it drops...
and it lands and you get off and your body is like... 'wtf just happened'...
and your brain is.. 'that was great!'
and you know you won't be getting on again (until next visit), but still glad you rode.
yeah
life stuff. simple, easy, effortless...
but you gotta get on.
and so the creative beast shall be conquered ...shortly.
like soon, but not today
maybe not tomorrow...
but soon...
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