Today, despite the fact that I have itunes playing and I got my 'better do this today' list finished minus the sewing orders...I am hating my job again.
See, I went in there to straighten up so I can focus better....and took pics of fabrics to post for the sale Friday...and I just thought to myself...I hate fabric. I hate sewing, and I hate having to sew especially after I already spent the money, lol.
Not to mention I really need to get an order shipped out tomorrow that I haven't even started on besides laying out the top and jeans for it. The fact I need to finish up some items for the sale on Friday. The fact I need to print out applique designs.
and roller derby...ugh...I love roller derby of course, but this drama shit has got to stop. I'm still upset, and I'm not sure how hubby feels today. Grrr....things are just so stupid. Reminds me of that time once when I got kicked out of a school group because I wrote some bad words...dumb, just dumb. One school group was supposed to be about the kids...roller derby is supposed to be about roller derby...but what do I know, evidently it's about being insecure while stretching or uncomfortable if someone talks to you...fuck if I know...
I hate things when they brood.
Anyway, OMG, INCREDIBLE got on my ass this morning about getting the necessities done, so I did. Too bad sewing orders wasn't on the necessity list..ugh.
I have so much to do and no incentive to even look at them right now...damn...you know what that means...that means my weekend will be filled with a rampant attack of the sewing machines and another weekend will be lost...
I hate that I do not want to sew at all and the fact I really need the money...it's all a trap...and I do not know how to get out...and no one to tell me how to get out either...
I was feeling all nice and loveable earlier too...but now that I think about it....no, not anymore. I think OMG, INCREDIBLE really needs to give me some advice instead of letting me handle it....I suck. and I am so frustrated...
I still need to do those celebration sets too...shit....and Tuesday thru Sunday I will not be home at all to work on them... I think they are supposed to be done by the 1st...hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! yeah..right.
though at least I can sell them and make money after they have been made...so that is kinda a very nice thought. and hopefully will keep us out of the hole for December...Where o' where art thou income tax?! You are a blessing, too bad you don't ever get here till late March.
I wonder if hubby will let me sell everything and move us far far away?? I'll ask. lol
not that right here is bad...except for having neighbors..and having to keep a job, and me being upset at roller derby..and the fact that there is neither a hobby lobby or five guys in Dunlap....or a papa john's....or target...I love target.
Anyway...things I'm thankful for just for today....that hubby still has a job, that everyone is not sick...well, except me...sick in the head...that so far the bills are paid, that the truck runs just fine, that the kids do their chores without complaint...even the yucky chores...I love those kids...that even though we have been sparsely doing schoolwork lately, they are still smart and creative.
I'm thankful for all the people i do not have to deal with. and the ones I do that they are mostly pretty awesome.
Please God, oh please, please please....fix those things that need an ass whoopin'...I can't....and you can do it better anyway...fix them for me, for my friends..and for those who need to know you can fix it....
Want a story?
Once upon a time there was a rather upset girl. She was furious and frustrated and sad. She asked and asked for a way to fix the things in her life that were disturbing her calm. A way to make the wrongs a right and way to create a new beginning....but Jesus only sat and watched, he didn't speak, but watched as she let out her frustrations and dumped the full bucket at His feet. All her failed attempts, all her lost endeavors, all her forgotten dreams.... she kicked them away and towards Him. He watched her as she cried and yelled and writhed in sorrow.
She quieted after a few minutes and looked up at Him. His eyes still as beautiful as before, His quiet calm composure filled with peace. He moved toward her and asked for her hands. She placed them in His.
"What can you make?" He asked her.
"Nothing." She said sadly with tears in her eyes.
"Then what you cannot make in your life, I will make it for you." He stated.
A sudden jolt went through her. A tingling of energy...something... and it was over. She was back home....and what she had poured out before Him was not...it was gone...and it was a new day.
Like that one?? I kinda do...but I would give anything to take you there to see yourself....because in those times...everything here is nothing...only the spirit within others is all that can ever be brought there...give them the light....so they may see Him.....
love and tears....they are good things...but they both hurt when you keep them to yourself.
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