the dead of night??? ....hmmm

Blackbird singing in the dead of night.
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life.
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night.
take these sunken eyes and learn to see.
All your life.
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly. Blackbird fly.
Into the light of the dark black night.

We were just here...same time, same place last year. Same birds...same deaths. Same earthquakes. We are falling apart. We are falling....falling....into the dark.
Whether it be electromagnetic fractures, coronal mass ejections, x-class flares, or whatever else you can logicize up...where do you think you will go when it finally comes after you?

WheeeeeEEEEeee...that was fun.
But just to remind you that the following 5 days after the blackbird incident that there were mass fish and other bird deaths that affected even more places...so don;t be surprised when you hear another 100,000 things died.

Soooo, that was not so happiness....but....I admit I shouldn't read sppy books during a certain time during the week...I am such a sap!

BUT I had at least 3 OMG moments.......and one in particular that I will sorely be scarred from for eternity. In a good way though.....since I again got another confirmation that things in my head are in absolute truth FACT! I almost died....it was so freaking obvious and I just couldn't unbind the total similarity....omg.
I love Jesus so freaking much....
Yes, I'm a lunatic and crazy and insane and odd and strange and peculiar among other things....and it is beautiful! HAHA!!! Come laugh with me! We'll dance upon the fields of gold and eat cheese!


Ohhhh!!! and something else to share with you....
hang on, let me find a pic.....

Do you see it.....? Can you see it?....No, not the face in the tv...but close......
It is the dust! OMG!!! The beautiful dust!! The beautiful dirt and grime of our lives! The harsh things that burn us with fire...the distasteful side of life.....that which sears and scars....the dust.

Today...I caught one of my children whining that the other was taking up too much dust....in other words the one was scribbling far too much on the tv and the other didn't have enough room to draw their picture into the dust as well....
It was quite a beautiful sight, it was.
Reminded me of how we see our lives...all the good is great and we can go about thanking God and seemingly live in perfection. No dust, just squeaky clean.
That is until something not so good happens and we get offended and angry, maybe even whiny. Dust settles and we no longer see the shining light of our idea of perfection.
Do we then decide what He gave us is not worth being thankful for...?
Is it not enough? Even though we usually have no idea on earth or heaven why bad things happen...no idea what the reasons were....
It reminds me of the dust...it may not be squeaky clean and shiny too.... but the children made art with it.... little children forming designs across the glass creating a dream with their fingertips.... beautiful.
If you keep seeing the dust as a curse.....you will never see the beauty and glory of God in it.

Okay, just saying....

So how was your first day of 2012?! Mine was rather boring. Skylar and I finished a puzzle...but that's all that managed to be notable...besides the creation that adorned the dusty television.
And I realized I have camera class the same night as the roller derby thing....hmmmm so I'll only stay for a little while and then go to the class afterwards.
Then Wednesday I got me the business call with Catherine....which might make me a few minutes late to practice...but that's okay....cause I am again majorly and seriously considering dropping the business.....I just don;t care anymore. Sometimes I do and want to create..then the other 95% of the time I could care less...ugh...cause now I want to do photography.....damn it. See what being an artist of life does to you....I'm just glad hubby didn't reply when I told him I didn't care if I made any money at all, lol....I love him.
So unless this funk goes away... I will be disappearing for all but maybe 1 day a month or something.
I say I could work my tail off to save to buy my camera for my new adventure...but I'm sure the funds will go to gas and groceries as usual...and I'll never see a cent, like the whole last 4 months...
I even made more than 2010....but I didn't get to buy the camera, I didn't get to really buy anything we were so broke....and having $0.00 in paypal sucks ass when you have 10 orders to fill and you already spent the money on gas or food.....
I will never do that again.
So hoping Catherine can sort that out for me or give me some ideas because this sucks!!!!! I hate how this has played out!
If by Jan. 31...I still feel this way I will throw it all out the window on fire and I will laugh at its demise.
What's bad is I aimed to be good at what I do when I started...and I did...and now there's nowhere else to go with it. I can't keep up with all orders, I can't afford to pay for help (or have patience to fix it if I have to) I don;t want to make ho-hum crap just to make a buck and I can't open a store in this town (or the one closest) because no one will buy it or can afford it. I will not work for free or cheap either.
So, I am stuck....if I can't go up anymore, I will burn it to the ground and use the ashes to fund my new hobby. YAY!
See I'm still happy cause I got something fun to do. haha!

Alright, enough blah blah crap....I'm going to go read more of that sad book I'm reading.....
but since we are recommending books...the one I'm reading is listed 2 blog posts ago...tis very good...and sad...and gave me a omg moment. ;)

New recommended book is..... hmmm... 'The life of Pi'....which I only read cause I found myself lingering on some weirded out website and heard it was good.....which it wasn't that good, but I often find myself thinking about it.... it kinda is weird, lol. Like 'Host' by Stephanie Meyer was good too...and you go back and think about much too often..weird....anyway, that's 2 books so you had better thank me for even bothering with the first.
Have fun chilly disco balls gleaming rays of orange juice and pickles! dance, and dance it well!

Misterios nunca son tan fermosos como o día en que mistificam ti.
Google translate will help you figure that out.