Day 1 homework.

So I'm on Day 1 (of 21)
of Entrepreneurial Shift.
It's a program that helps build your business.
Not that I have a business...
Nor do I want one!!
I have ideas, yeah.
and I have dreams...?
...actually I do not agree with calling anything a dream.
'Dream' implies it's not real.
Even though I personally believe in dreams being real.
In an energy sense anyway.
Whatever...
So Day 1 homework is to just write out what I'm thinking..
for 30 minutes.
and so that's why I'm here today.
Not only to celebrate my independence from
every fucking thing that is not me...
but to start building on what is.
....so bear with me, as this blog post is nothing but
my homework for the program and will either not make sense to you
be way too fucking long, be irrelevant, boring.... or all of the above.
and I'm sure the punctuation will be a mess....
as my typing speed is usually faster than the computer processor
(feel free to send me an upgrade HP computer please)

So I made a rhyme this morning.
I think it's kind of lame but cute at the same time... Can they be both at the same time?
anyway here it goes...
I will not fight, I will not flee
Only allow, accept, and be
I am worthy, I am complete
I am, eternally me.
....so that's that. I think I only came up with it because yesterday I had to do something I didn't want to do to comply with work stuff and I didn't like feeling like crap being a rebel about it, or feeling like I was forced to pay money out for something. So I just changed my mind and decided I wanted to feel fucking awesome instead...and so I did. I decided that I was going to feel great and that everything is happening FOR me instead of TO me and that it's all going to work out in my favor. Period.
and it did.
Fuck that idea that I have to do anything for anyone. Or feel bad because other things outside of my circumstances want to be an ass about things. Whatever. It all will work out for my benefit and the world will revolve around me now. I don't give a shit what anyone says about it either.
So that was fun. I will do the add in to my script today,  but not until we make it out to the fireworks store and spend cash on gunpowder and magnesium tubes. Because we only get so many summers with our kids and shooting them off is better since you won't have to sit in the crowds or drive anywhere. And you can irk the neighbor who reminds me of the lady from Misery. It'll be great.
I thought about finding little rocks and painting them, but that would mean I have to go out and find some that don't weigh a ton and are small...but then I tought I could make little wood token ones and paint those instead, even though that takes work to even get them prepared to paint...but they are lightweight and maybe you can make a necklace out of them or something. IDK, I was thinking I could paint and sell them for some cash, even though I wouldn't charge but maybe a few bucks for them. And if not, I;d have some to put into my stash of weird shit to show little kids in the future.
I thought about selling everything and moving far far away into the forest. Like Soddy. Close, but not too close. And I could not take care of the yard and have guineas and rabbits. And trees...lots of trees. And get rid of the neighbors and make noise louder than I currently do. I thought I could plan a beach vacation too, but I need to plan it around work schedules and when it won't rain or have a hurricane passing through. And maybe Dollywood instead of Six flags for the fall. And I need to plan what to get the oldest for their birthday. What they want? who knows. Maybe a laptop they were saving for, but concerts and cons got in the way and took the money. Or maybe something small.
I want to start Book 5 too, as I know where it's starting now. Of course there's certain scenes that keep playing on repeat over and over again and again...that I'm eager to write out....but not sure if I will keep them in the book...this wouldn't be kid/teen friendly. No, not gore or blood, or psychological mayhem....but more along the lines of ....umm... sex. can I even write something like that?...Will I even write something like that? Not that anyone buys my books anyway.... I can fucking do what I want, yo.
So I have this idea for another screenplay, but it's not gelled enough to start and I am so freaking excited to see what happens and what it's all about! EEEEKKKK!
I told you before, I don't make them up or actually make them...they come to me. And right now I only get images of what's happening, but I have no clue as to what the whole story entails or how it begins or ends...but it looks fucking amazingballs! It has dragons in it! And a girl....maybe she's a princess?? or will be?? idfk! I get all giddy and feel like a little kid and jumping up and down just before getting a huge waffle cone from the ice cream shop!....hey...why don't we have an ice cream shop?? beside that really expensive one downtown..that actually has dairy free ice cream... I know what's for lunch now... I should go wake up the youngest.... we can go pick up fireworks. and then I can come back and work on my script or watch a movie or something ... I did everything else yesterday and tomorrow I have to go do work orders...I wonder how much I'm getting paid...at the end of the month.... I admit that I don't keep track of everything, but I could look on the site...or I could count how many I did last month....but what surprise would that  be? I guess it doesn't matter, I'm going to throw all of the pay onto a credit card and pay it off....(cause it opens it up for a balance transfer, yo!) I don't do interest payments well.... I like me some 0% for all the crap I have to have when I don't have cash. Like my tea set I bought myself....but evidently can't use because the oldest and the hubs have this warped view of it being too old and expensive to use because it might break, *gasp!. wth.... I bought it to eat muffins off of and danishes...(ok, I've never had a danish) but noooooooooooooooo..... now I just get to look at it...after I find a curio to put them in.... fuck sakes.
They agreed that I could use them if I ever got Hayoa Miyasaki to come over.... he's a Studio Ghibli director and writer.  I accept that challenge and all...but what they don't know won't hurt them....they can't stay awake forever.
I'm gonna paint those ugly ass brink wall panels in my kitchen too....paint them to match my tea set!
Do a dragon artpiece or something because I like matching things when it's convenient. Or not. They won't let me paint the kitchen table either....fuck. It could match my kitchen and tone down the yellow applesauce floor if I painted it!
I should paint the piano too. Wood is for ..... traditional people... I'm traditional to the point of not being traditional at all. Do I even know what that means? Who cares...not me... anyway...How long has it been...I didn't time this thing and I'm supposed to do 30 mintues worth of writing out my thoughts.... I'm already aware that I distracted myself and went off on a few tangents and never went back to my original thought or wrote something else out. I should be a writer.... ha ha. I wonder what everyone else is doing today....actually no I don't I just wanted to make you think I actually cared... I don't. I wonder...I wonder.... I don't wonder much of anything. I know where I'm going.
Do you know it's really weird to meditate in the morning versus in the evening. You can feel your body more and feel the higher vibes you want to feel way better. If you hold onto those vibes for awhile longer you can manifest the energy equivalent of it. So you know what this means for me is that I will still get what I want, only faster... but I guess I should define what I want a bit better than a vague sense of money and joy and comfort and freedom and a new stereo for my 4runner.... and a hubby that's not being a drag. God I love him. so much I want to strangle him. Have you ever been married? It's great. Taught me a lot about myself and detaching from other people's shit and being able to recognize a bullshitter... taught me how to slay people pleasing and as an empath it's nice to know that how I feel is not how I feel....it's every fucking one else. And hubs has got this sinking death energy that he can't hold himself and my joyous light shining self likes to blind the fuck out of him. I relate it to a lighthouse. He's the tower....the cold, dark, damp, stony, hard as a rock pillar jolting out by the sea shore.... and he gets pelted by life's waves and struck by the cold ass water and rain and hail.... and he bitches about it all the time.... and me... I'm the light at the top. I have to climb his cold, dark, damp, god awful millions of steps to the top....and I used to curse the steps...how many of them, how hard it was to climb it again and again...., not anymore...my legs are stronger now....and I'd got to the top and sit in the center and shine shine shine. And he'd curse the brightness and he'd curse the heat from my light. and he'd stand tall and hold me up to the sky. And he'd keep me safe from the storm and protect me from all the bullshit in the world.... because I am the star filled with light...and he's my tower. God I love him. Even if he doesn't understand his greatness and his purpose. Ooohhh... can you see the netherworld? the ether?.... well... in what some people call heavens... there are souls and the souls are us. And he is a fine soul. I've seen him at his greatness... and that's who I love. All of him. ....ok, I've seen myself too....and I'm not sure I know her quite that well yet....so I've got a ways to go. Anyway.... so I hope that didn;t sound like some love letter or like I have a vice against him at all. I don't. He's great and drives me crazy....ebb and flow, baby.
I really think it's been 30 minutes...can I stop now? I have to wake up the youngest. I write pretty fast sometimes though. Maybe I'm just fooling myself...was I supposed to get something out of this? Was I supposed to come up with some broad scheme or plan to overthrow the world? ...hey, yhat sounds fun, let's do that! I say 'let's' as in me and you....but everyone is unreliable when it comes to broad schemes and plans.... so no... I will overthrow the world! Yes! I will do that!
My new plan is to overthrow the world! I did get something out of writing this homework out for my new business adventure... except it's not a business....it a being-ness. Fuck yeah! I'm pumped....l o l.

Maybe we'll have more homework tomorrow??!
Exciting!
Happy fourth of July and Independence Day....
I'll whack you on the head when the fireworks explode upon the stars and cast their ribbons down across the valleys and scatter them throughout the everglades.
Carry on the ways of our people and then smile in glee as you watch them burn.... the ways...not the people, yo!