day 6 homework

 Not posting this one either.... and this one goes pretty deep.
I'm guessing if you found some sort of entertainment from the last
5 days worth of homework, you'll continue to click on the list to the
right and keep going day by day.
Good luck with that.

day 6 homework
this one is a challenge...
I thinks...
The question is....
What's real about you?

of course we are supposed to make a video...
see...I did a 30 day challenge of a daily video...
and even though it did get better and I got better at it
throughout the month...
I enjoyed it more when I was done with it.

this also is in direct comparison....and almost a nudge to take the leap
on something else....
I had this 'great idea' to do videos
 ** I put quotations on 'great idea' because even though it ran through my head
      it certainly doesn't mean I like it! **
(and not videos of the stupid sock puppet...even though it would be hilarious
if I could actually get the words to flow while the camera is rolling...)
but of taking a walk and talking.
about whatever the fuck I wanted to.
the real me... without the filters that I've grown so used to.
Without the  self-limiting self-conscious bullshit I always throw
out to the world...
not on paper.... no, not when I write...
but you know how us empaths are...
you know how us introverts are....
anything to get you away from us.
anything to get you to go away.
anything to get your eyes to avert from ours.
please don't see me....
I feel you too deeply... I can't take it all in.

...unless you wait for me
please wait...

so we hide.... under layers and layers of ruses and masks...
who knows us here on the outside?

Anyway...
What's real about you?
---- I'm obviously not easily known, nor easily understood. But I shall try.
I am one to throw themselves off the cliff and one to trust the invisible magic to catch me.
I am one to do it again and again
I am one who feels too much too often.
I see the pain of others, even if they hide it well. And I'm also the same one who will not save them.
I hear what you are saying, even if you cover it with more words to confuse others. And I'm also the one who will let you.
I am the one who finds it hard to stand with others, even if I support your idea. And I'm also the one who will abandon all ideas in the end.
I am the one who feels the how unworthy people caught up in religion feel. And I'm also the one who will let them remain in their darkness. I can't befriend you. I can't take your pain from you.
I am the one who knows what an alchemist truly is. I know why these energies pour out into me. I know and I transmute them when I can. When they don't swallow me for a time.
I am one without attachments. Without expectations, even if at times they are nice to dream about.
I'm also the same one who will pretend to be attached... and break expectations....on purpose.
I'm also the same person who agreed to come here.
And the same one who will agree to leave.
I prefer not to speak....yet want to be heard. I prefer not to be seen....yet want to be understood.
I prefer not to share....yet want you to take all these things away. I prefer not to explain....yet a part of me still tries.... I should slay her....with love.
I prefer to live among the trees....yet I don't. I prefer to do things that call to me....yet some fall to the wayside...and I cry for them. *no, not actually cry, dumbass. I only cry over sad stories.
I go through times where I get lots of stuff done...and other times I get nothing done at all. Times I buy shit I don't need and times I dont..... and I usually have the same amount of money either way.....soooo I just do whateverthefuck I want now.
I say yes to myself more and more. I trust myself more and more. I love myself more and more.
I love others more and more. I love everything I receive more and more.
All the things.
I am real.... but you must wait for me to give myself to you.
You'll never see me otherwise.
sorry, not sorry.