Say YES to everything.

More of this.
More of all of this.
All of this.
I want more.
______________________

the depth.
the fear
the part where you feel your getting your life wrung to death by Thanos.
and your suffocating 
and you can't breathe
and the world is cast in the blackness of the dark
....
and the sun rises
and it heals... too slowly
the vibrations linger on and on and on
will it ever end
then it is all forgotten...
all but the fear
but it wasn't even fear...
it was everything...
fear, love, boundless joy, safety, terror
oh, the ALL of it at once.
pouring out pouring out pouring out
how can you live in the midst of twilight...
how can you live being pulled apart by the light and dark
by the sun and moon
the ocean and land
the darkness wrings tighter and the sun glows softly....
this battle...
will it ever end...
this battle.
this barzakh between worlds....
can you even stand at the threshold forever...
till you're torn apart
ripped into two...

fucking tear me open....
tear me open
MORE OF THIS
MORE OF ALL OF THIS
I WANT MORE!
_____________________________________________

perhaps the universe has forgotten who it had forged...
or does it remember....?
Could you forget your child...
_____________________________________________
shit is about to get real.... again
something big is coming
something BIG is coming....
are you ready?
for the wave...for the wave....
it's coming... and it's going to be huge.

I'm so freaking excited....cause I feel it...and when you feel it....
you know what it means....even if you can't understand it...
Yes... come.


Lately.... work orders.
I'm not sure what else I do.
Still in between scripts....
Book? ....ummmm yeah...
I'm thinking of starting on it tonight... for real this time!
Like really real. ... moreso than watching a movie.
Seriously...
Do you know how .... ........ um..... de-structive it is to stand
in the midst of the light and dark? It's beyond being focused...or distracted...
It's a motionlessness.
A sitting still.... where you can't move... at least not efficiantly.
and any step...usually means 3 steps back...
it's....just....not....ready....
my subconscious knows this even if my conscious wants to do the things...
and still tries to do the things...
....
so...that's where I'm at...
but I have a surfboard ready.... cause it's coming...
the wave, the wave!!
Get ready!! It will be amazing.
then the book will start...and the script at the same time, cause the
universe likes to fuck with me.
and money! and weird cool shit!
and trips! and new teachers and guides!
  (cause right now I'm learning shit from my very good friend... which is awesome because the last 3 days have been way way way productive in a certain area of learning to 'allow' since I am allowed.... and learning to be a safe place... cause they are a safe place, yo. Learning from the best. I love him.)
anyway...my last guide sent me through a door and took off....and I'm like wondering what to do...and Athena showed up--> who is currently being not as simple to understand...and my very good friend)

yeah so rambling on there.... not much else...that I can think of...
kinda tired...
gonna go!
will entertain your fancy shmancy anecdotes of uber privileged dragon riders of earth sometimes in the morrow when the sun and moon dance upon the glass of the island notions and the fireflies twirl admidst the evening glades of jungle ecstacy.