Like the sun that breaks through the clouds after a week of dreary overcast days. We see the sun once again and our eyes light up to meet it. The rays that streak upon the trees and cast shadows across the ground. We remember the beauty and the warmth that it holds.
Like a child's laugh after a week of feeling not so well, we remember how things ought to be.
Why is that when we have these gifts....we continue to overlook them as something as the norm? Is not every beautiful thing, every amazing thing, every simple thing a gift?
Like the purring of your cat when you hold their body close to your ear. The rumble of its joyful life. Peace. Happiness that it shares with you. Is that also not a gift?
Or perhaps the way that african violets and miniture roses bring us joy when they bloom in the winter, and in the fall, and spring, and summer too? Mine do, they sit atop the shelf in my kitchen and share their joy by producing such colorful gifts each and every season unending...or in the case with the african violets they produce far more than I have room for....but I still appreciate their radical blooming strategies and get excited when I once again see even more buds poke up from underneath their circular leaves....
and my miniture rose bush that stretches out a vine as far as it can go, its tender vine leaning against the window, its leaves facing outward to the skies....and a tiny bud envelopes the end...the best gift it can bestow.
These gifts....so obvious, yet overlooked by so many.... I strive to not let my eyes fall away from seeing these gifts. Gifts given by Him who carried them to me.
Sometimes I wonder why. Why for whatever reason was I worthy of any of this....
I'm sure you haters out there think the same thing.
Sometimes we crawl back into the corner and throw stones at the mirror that reflects our image. We hate ourselves. We are faulty and it shows in our failures. We are nothing other than the dust that we trod upon. Worthless. Hopeless. Lost. Unloved, unthanked, unremembered, forgotten, and scolded.
Why would anyone think we fail on purpose? Do they think we go to the trouble of proving our worthlessness when all we ever wanted was a friend that wouldn't judge?
Then there's the other side of the mirror...not the one on the outside where we cast our stones...but the one on the inside. Here we know we are perfect and could only be considered as such so long as it also included our flaws. The flaws are what define and gives definition. Engraves our soul to see and hear and understand the words that He speaks.
This is Wabi Sabi....the finding of beauty in the mundane and ugly. Redefining who and what perfect is and just seeing it perfect just as it is. Like He sees us.
Its like seeing an old rusty car parked in the middle of a wheat field. The wheat is ready for harvest in the blazing orange sunset...the car is trapped by the grain, yet looks out from the field....it was once loved, but now forgotten....but is it? A bird makes its home within the fender and a family of mice live among the cushioned void of a back seat. Memories of a child pretending to drive a racecar echo from the steering wheel....beauty never ends, it never hides.
Those who can't see it only close their eyes to it...and forget...and refuse to see it wherever their hearts may refuse to look...because they don;t want to see beauty in anything else....they are caged..... and they cannot hear His voice tell them that the door is not locked, they only need to open it.
It's the end of the year....the challenges of a few weeks ago and beyond are long forgotten. Bills still follow at your heels just the same as the last year, they still plague those of us who will not pass up opportunity and say yes to experience and life.... I am guilty of this.
and I may possibly be guilty forever...because money will not dictate what I do or do not do.....it perhaps only delays it, but never says no..there is no 'no'. Only 'maybe later'...
The world revolved and evolved into a more hateful place and its people forgot who they were, forgot whose they were. People judged and condemned and withheld peace from one another. Animals died...children suffered...and not one thing you have to show for it....
There was no cure for cancer. World hunger did not cease. Peace became a fantasy. Trash still litters the streets outside. Families still struggle and are dying from the stress of not only the economy, but from forgetting the beauty. You haven't even spoken to your neighbor in months. Your friend just wants someone to talk to. Your children still hope oneday it will all get better....you keep telling yourself that....it will all be better one day...oneday.
Sorry.....but I must not silence my thoughts, I should not spare you the heat from the furnace....I will not. Cover your ears, but do not avert your eyes....Look for His face.
One day will never come if you don;t have it right now. Why just oneday....why not everyday...every single day.
You people keep saying you are waiting....waiting for Him to come back and save your pansy asses, to take you away from your work....away from your struggles....away...argh!
I think you need a high five...in the face...with a chair...or an iron...no wait, an anvil.
Save you??? really? He saved you the day He gave you eyes to see and ears to hear....but I am supposing you are still deaf and blind and dumb too...
I told you before that Heaven is not a place you will 'oneday' go.... it is a life you will live...and you don;t have to wait for it....just accept it..accept the gift....all the gifts He has already given you....
Screw all your hopeful dreams that you'll need to die first before things will get better...sorry....but things will get better the instant you see them as such...see than as His...see them with new eyes....
"Death is the stripping away of all that is not you. And discover, there is no death."
Oh well...enough of my rant...I don;t want to be mean. I love you all too much.
I'm just saying that everything is possible now, today. And a new year is beginning, even though I think the idea of 'new year's resolutions' utterly suck just as bad as the idea of christmas.
Point being that we shouldn't need a date to take a stand upon our own lives.....do or do not...as Yoda says. All there is is now.
And christmas ....do you really need a special day to give a gift...any gift....do you need that special date to call your family or say hello....ugh...stupid, stupid, stupid. All there is is now.... Did God only give gifts on christmas? Does that mean He doesn't do it any other day?...you suck if you don;t know what I mean. I'm not explaining to stupid people.
and YES, I call people stupid sometimes...heck even I do stupid things sometimes...but me and Him like to have good laughs about it. Geesh. Someone throw this box into the furnace...it's getting cold in here.
Back to the now in the real world....oh wait...I just watched the last Harry Potter movie the other night... (btw, I'm not really a Potter fan, I thought it was dumb) ...Anyway when Harry was in the the white train station near the end....the wizard guy said that "Just because it's in your head, doesn't mean it isn't real."...I had an OMG moment.... This counts as another living proof that the things in my head will manifest....see....I'm not crazy...the wizard guy said so. :P nah nah nah!!! Lol.
Ok, I might be a little crazy, but I can live with that ;)
In other odd happenings.... I'm gonna recommend a book for you all...and I am utterly sorry, but it is a Christian based book...but I'm reading it and only got to like the 4th chapter so far...but it's called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.
I kinda really like her blog, so I had to get the book and well....you should read it...or once I'm finished you can borrow it, just let me know.
I think maybe I should give you a book recommendation each blog post for January...what you think?...but you may not like some of them, haha!! I promise it won;t be those dumbass summer reading books they forced us to read in school (like 'The Old Man in the Sea' what a horrible stupid book that I will never make my kids have to suffer through!!!) and I'll leave off the weirded out book about sociology and brain patterns...because frankly, those were boring as shit and only really learned something useful the fourth page from the end...go figure. And I will guarantee there will be no Stephen King books....omg, I hate his writing style...I do not care about the cup on the table, where it came from, who made it, and the origin of the paints that are on the cup...the damn cup doesn't freakin matter!!! He must like to fill ten pages about the dumb cup when it has absolutely nothing to do with the story...STUPID!!!!!!!!ARGH!!! I wasted 3 days of my life attempting to read one of his books...never again! I'll stick to the movies...maybe..even those need help.
So...want to hear some good news......... me too, please share?
Oh...it's almost January, which means in about a month or two...we get income tax in...which means we get a large bill paid off.....which means that I can possibly maybe afford that Nikon D7000 with the 250mm lens....
And I wrote a list today regarding my work (sewing) ...and I will follow it rather closely, so if I come on here and complain that I hate sewing.... it's because I've failed at that task...
But I have a conference call with Catherine from Cash and Joy on the 4th and I'm sure she will be able to make sure I do not fail myself...I'm excited and skeered!!!Lol!
and the truck is messed up....hubby will be taking it to the dealer Tuesday after work (assuming it doesn't die before then) anyway, we have a warranty, so they should fix it up..we think it may be the coil pack...maybe he'll get a nice rental car..like a mustang or something awesome...
Bad news though is its $100 to have them fix it, regardless (but the coil pack is $100's of dollars) so not too bad, except, it would be nice if we had $100 extra laying around. And here we were thinking January was going to be better than December. HA! Yay, for contradictions and challenges that help me laugh into the face of realism. :) So we will end it on the thought that today is great...and tomorrow will be awesome...and the next day will be amazing...and the day after that will be stupendous! And so on.... :)
Smile, Jesus loves you.
Lol....I couldn't resist....I like to mess with you by saying stuff that I really mean but make you assume I don;t mean, but really do so you think I don;t, but do...kwim?
Attraversare il buio con una luce che non va mai fuori.
Google translate will help you figure that one out ;)
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