Soooo....in a rather serious attempt to waste time...look where I find myself, lol...writing this stupid blog post. Ain't it lovely?
See, here's the thing. I could be in that other room sewing together a dress top with smurfs on it, but if I do that I will do it for too long and by the time 9pm gets here I will not stop to go do what I want to do (which is work on book2). So if I just dilly dally until 9pm, I then can just go write at that time. If I sew, I kinda keep telling myself, that I could do just a little more, just a little more, one more ruffle, one more seam...and well, then it's 11pm and I won;t have time to write...so see... spending time here works although it is very nonproductive.
And doesn't make any money like that smurf dress would, lol.
Yeah, it's kinda like shooting myself in the foot...oh well. If I get to write it makes me more happier and gets me to the next chapter....and eventually to the end of the book. Then I can get started on book3, haha!
I could always go play with moondough with the kiddo too...and I may, or go start writing now, but what fun would that be if I didn't get to write a blog post about my boring existence, lol.
I found something last night. Not that it was lost...just forgotten about...and I technically refound it, or rerealized it. I'm not sure what keeps making me forget or 'lose' it though. Ugh, I need to rework my schedule or something so I won;t keep forgetting....and I'm working on that.
Mr. OMG, INCREDIBLE said that routines kill your soul and turn you away from peace and freedom...so I'm taking it that my morning coffee and internet browsing is going to come to a swift end starting tomorrow. That means that schoolwork will get started sooner, and maybe I can get the house cleaned in totality instead of parts of it each day..and by the time the last part gets cleaned the first is dirty again...lol. And as for sewing work....hmmmm... I have fortunately came to the conclusion that I don;t have to work on it until I want to. Luckily sometimes I really want too...especially at 12am when I need to go to bed, but unfortunately I usually choose to go to bed because my sewing machine is loud....and I'd hate to keep hubby up since he gets up at 5:30am...And my orders are finished...and I'm not obligated to make anything...this is nice, I really hope and pray I can keep from burying myself in the grave of obligation...I think I will go draw out a plan for that....because actually putting it on paper at least 10 times seems to work for the most part. Or posting it in large black letters right in front of my face so I can remember, lol. Yes, I have an issue with attention deficits, lol! It's called being an artist of too much...I get scatterbrained sometimes.....deal with it, I do ;)
Anyways...what do you want to learn about today?
That thing I lost.....it's not a thing, but a truth that seems to hide from me...about the fact that God is not up there or out there or that way, or somewhere else...nope....
But, you already know that...and I do too...but I think all these other things get in the way and make me forget that...not really forget, but see it a different way than what it truely is....
I wonder if other people are so distracted by things in life that they lost sight of that too? Maybe they can't remember...maybe they never knew...
You know He isn't anywhere where you are not...He's inside...always..carried along in your being....possibly hidden away under our own ideals, and rules, and regulations, and troubles, and goals, and plans, and gripes, and things that only we have covered Him with...
Then we start to think of Him as being not IN us, but somewhere else...and so people search elsewhere...to the skies...to their teachers...to their churches...to their books....
You can learn about Him out there in the world...but you can never know Him like that. You'll need to dig Him out from underneath your own pile of crap you keep labeling Him with. Rules you keep burying Him with. Issues you keep judging Him with. You'll never find Him looking on the outside, you'll never know Him until you free Him from the prison you built on the inside.
Yeah, lame, sorry...I really should delete it and make it more appealing, haha...but I'm too lazy and only have 30 more minutes to explain....
How do you free Him, you ask? (yeah, you probably didn't ask, but I will tell anyway)
By letting it all go! Easy!
Letting all what you were taught about Him go, poof! Away with the wind, wheeeee! Everything you ever read and believed, Poof! Gone like a leaf in the raging river! All what you felt, thought, spoke about, heard, brought up to believe, or forced to listen to.... PooF Gone, let it float away from your mind like blowing a dandelion puffball in the wind! Gone forever...wheeee! Goodbye. Say goodbye to all your lame, stupid, made up, foolish thoughts, because they are not as good as the ones He will teach you! Goodbye lovely things you thought you knew, goodbye, things I thought I understood....and say goodbye to what you think of Him. What you think of His father. Let go of Him too. All your ideas about Him...poof. (yeah, it is scary, but I promise you it will be okay..better than okay) Let your thoughts of Him go.....do not rely on your own understanding.....let your understanding go....poof, goodbye sweet Jesus.
I am really assuming that was hard for you and you didn't do it, because it takes much faith to attempt really doing that.....
But after you are sitting in the silence....watching all your own burdensome thoughts and ideas, and preformed illusions disappear...and even watching Him fade away into nothing....in that silence
You will find Him there....there where you always were...there where you once were when you were a child. You will remember...and you will know that what you let go of was nothing compared to what you have now.
And He will lift you up...and He will show you who He is truly...not what the world taught you...no...He will teach you....as only He should.
Wheeee!!! That was fun, huh?!
It's kinda like clearing your chakras, but better, lol. But ooohh...that's bad, huh? Nope, just another stupid judgement you just layered on top of your pile of shit ideals.
Well, the kiddo wants to see if Star Wars cd-rom games will work on the computer...so I guess I gotta go.
Tomorrow I'm going to sew up some smurfs, paint some Link, and do a photoshoot for camera club. I think I'm going to choose the color white! (we get to choose a color to accentuate on...and I have 2 yards of white fur, heehee)
Oh, and roller derby..yep, gonna go a skatin'
Yeah, I know you all think I'm crazy...it's okay, I think you're crazy too. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment