.... O_O .... I can't tell you anything more.

Day 82 of 90
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I wrote 2 different things....then deleted them.
Nothing bad, nothing important. Just not mine.
I'm getting barraged.....pummeled....crashed down upon.
By thoughts.....by feelings.
None of which are my own.
I recognize this and I'm okay with it, even if it is discomforting and disheartening.
The only way to get them to shut the fuck up is to tell them....
YES. I WANT MORE. MORE of all THIS.
My brain still wants to figure them out. Wants to know 'why'. Wants to know what to 'do'.
But there is nothing to do.
It's just a wave. It will change me. I must change with it.
Time to Level Up.

This is the second wave.
I know this.
And I will stand.
It takes energy to say Yes. To accept them all. To allow yourself to become the vessel.
It takes courage to relinquish yourself to these waves. To this flow.
It takes strength to remember, over and over and over. To stand and say yes. To ask for more.
To remember that they've prepared me for this. To remember that I have their council whenever I need. That I have their support. There is no failure. ---Oh I could turn back and delay this....but I find no reason to delay my suffering to tomorrow. Let us do this today.

This is why Jupiter watches me.
They are all watching me now.
I feel their eyes upon me. The seraphim, the angels, the gods, the heavens, the shadows.
What am I to them? What are 'we'?
I knew this was coming, but the gentleness of its approach made me question whether or not it would be as challenging as the first wave. I thought we were almost done...however I remember now that the orb lifted by Pyriel didn't start burning until after it was raised. I remember now....silly child. You thought Dipothiel was done with you.... they are just getting started. I see now.

oy vey. I wish you could be with me and see these wonders.
I wish I didn't have to describe the world between me.
I wish I didn't have to explain.
I wish you just knew, and you could see me, hear me, without words.
But I know, none of you can hear the stars. Or you would have told me.
Can you see them? Do you know who they are? Do you know their stories?
....I know all of them.

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I don't want to post anything about this world.
There's too much transition frequencies running rampant. Things are in flux.
I'm in flux.
....
fissure
that's the word that kept popping up when I asked about the gate the feelings pour out from.
It too looks similar to the diamonds at the top and bottom....but not quite the same.
fissure....it means to split  (like the earth)
Like when a cell, divides.....
when you split an atom....?
when you split an Adam....................
holy fuck...... O_O

this is the creation of the universe
















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I'm fixing to go supernova.

etymology report = made new

YES. I WANT MORE. MORE TO ALL OF THIS.
I ACCEPT.