Stamp of approval

Day 59

Feeling like the edge is hovering before me.
Like I have this short amount of time to prepare.
Not that one could prepare for the unknown.
The next step is the leap.
It's the jump.
It's the fall.
Except you never fall.
You fly.
You have to let go of what's in your hands...
to reach for something greater.
Or in this case.
You have to step away from where you are...
to get where you are going.

The council has adjourned.
It looks like I was approved.
But I'm not quite sure which part, exactly?
Hopefully all of it.
I did make my requests known.
All of them.
Even had to confirm the paperwork.
Not that there's real paperwork...
it's more like a ...
"Do you accept?" question.
and when you say "I accept."
that's your signature.
This acceptance also includes having to
let go of the things that would not serve me
in the upcoming shift.
Even though I may find them useful now....
The acceptance of the approval is the relinquishing
of the old.
Like getting to wear a new uniform when you get
promoted to the corner office on the top floor.
You don't have to wear what the new hires wear...
You get to wear a suit. You get a secretary. And aide.
A bodyguard. A whole brigade if it calls for it.
You also don't have the same work space.
Things change...and they change quickly.
But all for the betterment of your soul.
Even if you would miss your co-workers.
I'll share what happens once I see for myself.
 ___________________________________________

I'm also slightly unnerved.
The one I'm working with recently...
the third of four.
They said I'm good to go.
I'm thinking I want to spend more time with them.
I feel like I'm not quite ready for the next one.
How could it be that easy? That quick?
I feel I perhaps skipped over too much, too fast.
Are they sure? How could I possibly be done?
Wait, can't we talk about this?


The fourth is far off, somewhere behind me.
But they are looking my way.
O_O
___________________________________________

Kids group meet up today.
Dinner.
Here now.
Don't know what I'm doing next.
Maybe a movie.
Maybe paint a wall.
Maybe go play BoTW
Maybe read more of this book I'm reading, almost finished.
Truthfully I'm distracting myself.
Need to take time to recenter and figure out
what I really want to do.
Even if it's just for tonight.