'The keys to the back door can be found in the earth'....no idea what that supposed to mean.

We are so broken. Shards of colored glass, with our jagged sharp edges and harsh corners. We cut, we slash, we find our way through the mess but leave a bloodbath where our footsteps have been. Us, the broken and shattered...and who will put us together again?
Stained. Red with blood, green with envy, like christmas. Who puts us together and hangs us upon a wall and calls us a beautiful stain-glass window?
Reflecting the light....reflecting, being transparent perhaps...but the light that travels through is also as broken as we are. Why do we block out so much of the light...and only a tint of it gets through?
We are one. One welded together in a frame, all of us broken pieces. Yet divided one from another. Who is it that could make us whole?
Like a coloring book, where every part is divided by a big black line....a big black line....and even if we are colored in, the picture gets colored, but we are still alone. Where are the black lines that divide our hands from our world? That divide us from one another? That divide us from something larger?
Is there any at all? Yet, we are divided.

Our front doors are locked, barricaded, masked, hidden, and covered....we don't want anyone to come in. What are we guarding that is so important? Why must we live alone?....
And the back door? Mysterious. How do we find the key? We leave it available, but with only a small lock....where is the key? There must be a way in. A way to reach them, to reach ourselves, to reach others.
Help me find the key....we are running out of time.


B U S Y. and I'm not liking that word very much. This whole week will require undivided attention. And the glass maker is going to have to meld us together because being stain-glass isn't working out, no matter how nice it looks. Let's just take the windows out and tear down the house while we are at it. I'd rather be outside where there are no doors, and there's only the gardener, and garden, and the flowers, and the stream.
I could post a list of what my days will most likely look like....but no, it doesn't matter. What gets done will get done, and what doesn't, doesn't. I'll do the best I can.

I could post a list of plans for the future....but even those tend to change from one to the other depending on the circumstances. I guess it depends if I feel bad that day.
ah yes...always at the mercy of the flesh. Just can't keep up with my aspirations.

Anyway...yada yada... Be sure to stay away from dairy (cheese, milk, maybe eggs too...) for the next few weeks. My youtube girl is predicting stuff. and well, I believe her...dairy is evil.
Think I'll go gather some biophotons today and hang out with some geomagnetic electrical grounding currents.

you say it best....when you say nothing at all

It was frazzled and frayed out like it was cast through a whirlwind, tiny fibers sprawling every which way. Nothing calm in it's demeanor or appearance. There it lay on the side of the road in the rather littered grass. A feather, whitish gray with a darker tip. This poor frayed feather that seemed to be screaming, that seemed to be twisted from a chaotic experience.
A gift. A gift just so happening to resemble the frazzled mess I found myself in. I do love how He sends these gifts, and knew right away how grateful I was that He still remembers me, not that He forgets...but that I often do.
I picked it up and smoothed out the frayed feathery fibers. It took shape, from a tattered mess back into a rather beautiful feather. Smooth edges and able to carry the wind....able to fly. A beautiful feather full of peace once again, serene and calm. A feathered that reminded me of how we are. Sometimes challenged to the point where we find ourselves on the side of the road in a tattered mess with more questions than answers and more prone to see our frustrations rather than our blessings. But us....us who are repairable back to perfection, us who can take His hand, His gift, His love, and smooth out our own rough edges....find ourselves in that peace once again, serene and calm. Able to be carried by the wind....able to fly.

And these are the moments I get to have. We all could have if we just see. Gifts to carry us through everything. Everything.

Can't stay long as it is already late and still a dress needs finished to ship out tomorrow. But I had to make time for the story. The story of my day which really wasn't much of anything compared to one little feather. And how our lives aren't much of anything compared to Him. I'm such a sap sometimes....and I don't always make sense and I often don't designate names, and I often talk on thoughts based on numerous theologies and non theologies and science, and the future, and the present, and the stars, and the rivers, and those I call my very good friend, Mr. OMG INCREDIBLE, Batman, The Joker, Mr. Clean....and numerous others I can't recall right now. And really though, none of that really matters when you get humbled by a feather and you remember how awesome this life is. And the chaos....bless the chaos, because you'll never get to see the gifts without looking down every now and then.

Must go....will write again soon. No weird dreams unless you count a little boy who was a ghost and like to scare the crap out of me in my dream, wolverine, a lady who kept throwing up green stuff (like projectile vomiting! It was so gross)...other than that, I got nothing dreamwise. Lots and lots and lots of work to do, a few things to take care of this week, and trying to remember to work on that manifestation again...I slacked off and well...so did that stuff I was working on manifesting...ugh. And more work. Trying to hold out until my vacation in May. <--- new biz improvement right there...see I got something done! :)

Ideas in space.

oooooooohhhh.... can you not feel it. it's happening. I've yet to see the blue smoke, thank goodness...but how long will we have until it piles out into the sky.
and these dreams....how they come in like a tsunami. ... a love story, and an assassination. What lies ahead in the next night is just another clue.
Can't you feel it? ....the energy is throbbing and building up and these little things you hear about in the news are all forerunners....things that are not truly important...but used solely as a distraction of the more important truths.... sleep little sheep...sleep....off to slaughter you are walking.

I watched some videos on astrotheology the other day (still working on the rest) and I'm a bit concerned. The guy is a genius and he is correct in just about all of it from a scientific theology point of view...all except 1. You see....the idea is that the universe is writing us...writing god, writing everything.... that everything is created by the universe/sun/star/light....which he refers to as God. In part that seems legit...but I digress. I'm guessing he has never met the Lord face to face. For if he had, he would know that it is Him that writes the universe, not the other way around. Just my thoughts. Very good videos though and rather intelligently put together. The guy is a genius, he just hasn't reached the point of going beyond what the eye can see. He'll get there.
Anyway. Reading this one book about a similar subject....but even it is a little off in their explanations of certain enlightened writings....I think the author is thinking too much. Should have just rewrote the writings and let the reader figure them out themselves....as everyone's perception is going to be different. ...kinda like reading the bible, lol. Should have just left it in the original language and let people translate it themselves....because certain translations are not as kosher as they seem.
.... thinking I shouldn't share my dream....as it involves an assassination (though not who you would probably expect) but it was weird. It was one of those things that happen before things 'really' start to happen. Kinda like today's news.... just be aware people...don't believe an illusion.

Know what that astrotheology guy said that stood out to me...that if you wanted to start a war and win it...start it on the spring equinox. .... although these videos were made years ago.... it seemed coincidental that we are approaching such a time...and we are right on the doorstep of such a predicament. But I also realize I had that love story dream first....and I really don't think we are going to have to worry about it. Our knight in shining armor was there all the way through the troubles...and in the end, sealed with a kiss.

Did I tell you how much work I've got? A lot. and I'm working on a new shop too....although I find it very hard to keep myself from buying fabric for it. Fabric I love, and couldn't buy before because I can't use that kind...and now I can, but I can't buy it, because I'm not sure how well I'll make money from the new shop just yet....argh....I love fabric. But I do have some I can list to start it off and see how well it goes...and I can use the funds from it to buy fabric!!! AAAAHHH! Like a shop solely to feed my addiction!! :)
And going to make big changes in my photography business here soon (I have 1 photo session that needs done first) before I can actually proceed with a vengeance. But regardless...I really don't care if I make money with it anymore, so long as I get the pictures I want. Yay! another business doing what I want instead of what others want! Go me!

Probably sell some of my gear too, which will pay for things like costume stuff! YAY!

And my book...dying to start on book 3!!! so I can get the story done (assuming I don't do book 4 separately) and then I can start on the opposite one that I dreamt about!!! Eek!
I'm such a dork!

And I think once we get this stupid Jeep fixed that I might just sell it. ugh...dead battery again!!! then I can pay off a bill or 2 and then go buy a new vehicle afterwards. Broken cars are not cool.
Must go clean house....then do laundry, dinner...then work work work...survivor comes on tonight and maybe I'll get to watch it this week...while working of course.
later peeps.

Inside out...inside out and outside in. Mirror.....look on the other side...

And we'll never be royals... we crave a different kind of buzzzz.........

Ooooh oh oh.... but we are. Royal...at least that's the way it feels...when you remember who you are. Yes, just like in the Lion King.

"So you have found your way." aaahhh...yes, not the words, but how He says them...with the truth that He never needed to drag us towards Him. This lesson in carrying ourselves....us stubborn children who get tired of walking and just want to be carried. Please carry me...carry me...pleas of not wanting to do anything but rest.....but He doesn't wait...and we walk on anyway. This lesson in walking forward....toward..... not that we need Him to carry us....but we need Him to have somewhere to go. Somewhere better...much better....and we don't even have to leave our home.
This is truth...because I was there with Him, and I heard Him....and I was merely laying in my front yard. How easy it is to just be there....and this time...this time....the veil was gone....or perhaps I was looking through a hole in it....and again....remembrance....forgetfulness is our human curse.

A different kind of buzz.... indeed we crave something other than all others. They would never understand. They couldn't...until it is what they crave too. Who are we....our kind....who crave what only our inner eye and our inner ears can hear. All else could fall away....and we would still have something to gain in Him.


Big plans...but sometimes they fall into stagnate waters. And I fail to rescue them....but idly watch them rot. Big dreams....but the world doesn't want to play with me. Big hopes....but I'm a firm believer in things working out for themselves and providing a path for me....hope has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's faith instead...doesn't really matter what you call it.
and then there's something....


oh well...I just ordered a book some may consider not along the path of righteousness....ha. we shall see..... shouldn't be as incredulous as 'the secret' psh. Even attracting things for real is way more legit than what that book related to.
Work, more work...but I have a system that seems to be working ...ok-ish. I'm still tweeking it.
Sleep....is on my mind, so I have to go...meant to really write something today...but I got sidetracked and decided to spend 45 minutes on amazon looking up books.....which I did buy one....well..I got it for free actually.
Anyway.... must go.

......let me live that fantasy..