Growing flowers to give to your love.

I find it rather challenging. This task. This task of pouring out gold like there's no end. This struggle to locate every word hidden beneath the unending strain of humanness. There are words that do not fulfill the needs of the heart. The soul finds they lack and are not strengthened as they would be had it spoken them itself. Where are the words?
Today was Easter. Tomorrow is Monday. Here we are caught in the midst. And where are we? Caught between where we've been and where we are going. Caught between home and home.... The place we come from, the land of honey and sunshine, with a river that runs through it. Trees, and the Gardener. There is a grand city there. They say the streets were paved with gold...but oh, gold is wisdom, and the streets in color appear as an opal glass. The angles stand proud and tall. Taller than our weaknesses. And they stand with a spear. Not to fight, not for war, but as a symbol of triumph. The arrow pointing to the sky above.
The place we come from....this is only a very small piece that lacks in many ways due to our inability to perceive it all. There's so much more. And the place we are going to...home. Where in the day we are graced with the gardener's smile. And it is always day. This never-ending dance of the stars. Never in the dark.
Yet here we are. The in-between, where we get to love madly, and stumble, and fall, and love deepy. And glimpses of home, and glimpses of seeing that we chose to be caught in the tides of presence. And we forget where we came from, and we forget where we are going....and we fear we are lost in this darkness. But the darkness is not without its stars.
Hands dip into the ocean and waves crash between the fingers, pouring out like waterfalls. Pouring pouring. Trying to take hold of understanding. Trying to take hold of what is much more than our hands can attain. So we dive, crashing into the sea, swallowed up and sinking, yet there's more water than we can drown in.
We flung ourselves off the cliffsides and sank deep into the abyss, we've soared across the galaxies and blazed grand like a sun. We've danced, we've sang, we've cried, and fought, and gave in, and gave up, and still we can not hold all that there is. Still we can not see or hear or feel all that is. Except....except in one name.
If there be anything that contains everything, that is all....that is completion and beginnings and life without time and time without ends, and every aspect of love....the light, the night, the stars, the wind, the flashes of lightning, the thunders, the tears, the embracing and smiles, the fullness....the wholeness of all....if there be anything that is everything we know....and everything we've yet discovered...it will lie upon the face of the Lord.
And you can forget about your religion, and you can forget about your opinions, and your ideas of good or bad, and you can forget about what fear was, or anger, or hate, or confusion....these things can not exist when He looks upon you.....and let me tell you, you may not even remember what those things are.....you will only know that He is all. Every truth, every spark of light, every idea, every vibration, every wavelength, every being....and the source of every image of love.
And He will smile upon you. He will hold out His arms wide, and you will know nothing else but peace. And He will raise you high and there will be nothing else outside of Him. He is all. And He has you too.

Today was Easter...and it doesn't matter which day you write a love letter. And if you can remember.....you can go out and visit the gardener and see the garden. The sun is shining, the honey is pouring out, and the river flows across the land. Trees bloom......

Invitation to another world

I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map....And knew that somehow I could find my way back.
Then I heard your heartbeating, you were in the darkness too......So I stayed in the darkness with you.

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out.....You left me in the dark.
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight.....In the shadow of your heart.

The other morning.... a gift came to my door. Mind you it was rather early...early to me...and I was in fact in bed. So the doorbell rang, and my body immediately responded....jumping into action like 'oh, doorbell!' and my mind was like 'aaaahhhhhhh someone's going to die!'...and grumbling I got up to answer the door.
A black man...with glasses hands me a flyer thing....and says he's from so and so church and they are having some special Easter service thing-a-ma-jig...the messenger isn't the point....so long as you got the message. So I got this flyer, yeah, whatever, said thank you all nice like, cause he was nice and he did apologize in case he woke me up....close door, walk into kitchen...happen to read said flyer...well, close it back (it was folded like a card) and on the front...there it is...the gift.
And just for some pretense...I'm rather blunt with the boss man...and sometimes I feel like I scare him away, and he doesn't much pay attention to little ol me and my immature antics cause I'm still learning and I'm hard headed. And I'm impatient....though I try not to be...but I really can't help it. Once you've had a piece of heaven it is really freaking hard to pretend like you can wait to get another piece. Well...anyway....there's this journey I'm working on and I've been waiting for this particular item for quite some time now. Might not seem like a long time in the path to eternity and all...but I had almost either forgotten about it, or thought it was just another 'thought' that wouldn't come to pass in reality.
Well....I got it that morning...and once I read it, there was that odd silence in your head where you feel that tinge of epiphany and coincidence and can't do anything to hold that creeping smile from invading your lips. Ooooh, yes, that feeling like you really aren't living in your head, because you are holding it in the flesh, in your hand, and again you remember what really matters and what's really real, even if you're the only one that thinks so.
"You Are Invited" and that was all I needed.

I'm trying not to consider that the date on it was for the 14th. (Monday) cause that just happens to be the day before that other day.... which you could educated yourself about if you watched youtube videos and such...not that all those are true, but entertaining nonetheless.
I'm rather happy because of this said occurrence, and there's probably a few more thing-a-ma-jigs I've been awaiting, but sometimes I have really cool days.

In other news....work is totally sucking. I'm far behind and I go into these internal debates of whether or not my mental well being is at stake and whether it really is important whether or not I do a certain task now or later. Either way I win.... I'm not sure what I'm debating. Things get done eventually. Bummed that there's just a lot of things. Vacation coming up soon. So I keep telling myself anyway.

There's been a very odd vibration happening lately and I don't think I like it. Unsettling it is. Not the bad feeling stuff, but the unsettling kind...the kind that means occurrences in life similar to earthquakes, eruptions, and thunderstorms on a worldly scale.... like in your life, not on earth...unless you consider yourself earth..... ... yeah, I'm confusaling you. sorry.
Looks like we'll be in for a very turbulent ride for a bit. And this will be okay. Should be fun.
Like 'stopping by a music store and spending 300 dollars just because' kinda of fun. Or buying a part for something only to realize you need the more expensive part instead...just after you go to that music store kind of fun. Or having a kitten sniff your armpit like it is catnip and laugh because its funny and then he bites you there too kind of fun. ...oh there's so many more types of fun out there. I'm excited. Not because I like the frustration....but I do like the challenge. And you can't get to the boss man at the end of the game unless you complete each level. Of course, this particular boss man doesn't need defeated.....you do. It is ourselves we need to conquer. Our own frustrations, our own fears, doubts, illusions....and lies. Conquering ourselves in order to remember what we really are. And this is why thunderstorms are exciting, and why earthquakes are amazing, and eruptions are spectacular displays. Because we are such displays, we are these things....and what is a starry sky without a comet, or a song without vibration, or color without light. Let us be joyous in our trials.


Ugh, sorry, didn't mean to sound all blah blah fancy talkish. Too poetic I suppose. Anyway, watch for your invitation, make sure it's signed, and I'll see you at the banquet, I'll be by the fruit...or wherever the boss man is.

Later tators of green pickled strawberry patched kids., going to bed, and tomorrow I'm going to sew and play with this new thing we got from the music store.