Presents in the summer

How do you tend the wild garden?

This same question revisiting on cue every year
like the wildflowers that grow wherever I've left them to stretch towards the sun
untouched from the blades of machinery and violence...

How do you cultivate the wildness?
The backtracking towards that happiness you've held while you were five...
maybe at seven, at three...at a time when you were life in it's fullest...
How do you reclaim your throne in joy?

Like a garden we pull out the weeds...
(and no, not the dandelions they've tricked you into culling... those beautiful drops of sunshine)
we uproot that which suffocates our soul's light.
We loosen the stranglehold of the soil and let air in.
We remove the boulders, the rocks, the harsh grit that quells our thriving.
We take out what we do not want to harvest.
Like items that cause frustration. Jobs that leave us bared raw with anguish.
People that lie, cheat, steal, or claim rights to your heart, mind...
We leave those behind, take them out.
    Often needing to weed more than once, friends... more than once...
  
We cultivate that which we aim to harvest.
The good pieces of something.
The friends we love, but never call or meet up with because we are too busy...
    we get with them, we make the time...it is the only time.
We add in the things we love that uphold us...
   the music, the movement, the rhythm, the paint, the books, the exploring, the tiny boxes...
We make room for better, for the joy to take root.
We tend to these things like we tend to our children.
Be present. Weed out your garden, help your crops flourish.
Be present.
Be present.

We water...we tend...
And for those wildflowers...the piece of life that give us surprises and beauty..
we don't mow the tall grasses...we allow them to grow in their area all by their selves.
Because life gives, without your control and perfectionism...
Let the grass grow, let the wildflowers grow...
Yeah, it will look chaotic and four feet tall for awhile...
but then the colors...the blooms....the petals...the wildlife...the truth and the meanings...
reveal all that they always are... present...

Cultivate happiness.
And allow room for the surprises.

And be brave about it...
the neighbors won't like that you aren't going to mow the yard until June...
but if their buzz cut grass is what they want to cultivate, let them..
We grow wild here...
and we are unafraid...
because we grow happiness and life and chaos and beauty...
and we can back it up with proof...
We have patience to let the wildflowers grow.
We have discipline to weed and water.
We have presence to help our harvests fruit...

Children of the sun

 156 posts in 2018
156 posts in 2019
17 in 2023
this will be 2 in 2024... perhaps making it a 10 by the end of another cycle
...
writing out nothings that make all the sense
nonsensical needlings
these famous words created for such comedry

Can't speak a word of life in the mortal realm
it has fallen by the wayside as mere entertainment
a tv show that plays in the background
and lo, if shot dead, maybe it would be nothing more than a rerun

There's melancholy brewing in the sumpters
there's angst building towers in the lower realms
there's a hope for a savior in the corners of luxury
and then there's the truth, which stands above the pillars...
    waiting for someone to let it all go
       with courage

where have we gone, you and I?
talk talk talk, but we only want touch
walk walk walk, but we want to run recklessly, through thorns and all
because blood paints the walls with passion

in a world full of yellow people...
let us be courageous glorious reds, like royalty
Blues like kings
Greens like freedom
Violet like fire
Savage like wisdom

rage with me
   lest I rage alone
     and we are one in the midst of the probable, the mundane
         and we destroy them

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My inner child is distraught
   scolded and shamed....for believing...for feeling...for seeing...for knowing...
      and she knows its not them...it's her who shuffles the deck and builds what she tries to understand...
         but who understands her
I've reminded her of truth, of love, of forgiveness, of being held...
    yet she still wants her father to comfort her...
       his whole army marching along with him, although always present...matters not...
          she wants him... and it doesn't matter if he's in uniform or casual wear...or flip flops.
She can't break away from this need...and maybe she never will...
    I walk with her, bringing her along to be with him... as she doesn't need me...
       she wants to be loved, held, and she doesn't need me. I am not her father.
          
(the rest of this will be in the book... stardate (31224) ) I can't write it here.

somber nights in middle earth

IT was dusk in the city
The clouds dark, like a gloomy sunday.
The evening falling with hints of a summer rain
oh, the burden that this day has been

oft to see it falling away from my eyes, chippery
let it be gone and thus forgotten
let me wring out its pains and desires and wipe the sweat from my eyes
I don't want to see you anymore
not this day, and certainly not of tomorrow

let it ring true that we are lost
that we are forgotten like the days gone past
like the winter's edge of frost
cutting like ice and speaking like a sliver
harsh has this been
these long remorseful wokenings

be not frail and timber
be not savage and good
be not nothing to set upon thy feet or lift from thy heavens
we will sink
lowest of lows until there is no more sun
until there is no more rememberings
let me forget myself
all these things we speaketh

fall from me this world
let me fingers bleed at which I've wrought
my tongue pierce the skies and shower down the rains
wash it, shake it, bake it, make it, destroy
tame it, claim it, sing it, wring it, savor
what is this
not calling it a name
what name
what words
what world
be gone

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There is nothing to say to you

I'm dead, let me rest

Steps to getting your sanity back

 I'm really just here to stop in and make a checklist.
So Imma be pretending I'm a business and marketing coach here for a hot minute

and I'll be telling myself (my other self) what she need to be doin'
Cause she don't know shit and gets too emotionally involved

so I gotta come take the reins here a little bit and write things down for her

so she don't go all gettin' lost and shit

Step 1:
   So you've got the etsy and fb page, good job.
you've got your items and products and images
now you need to keep moving and move FAST!
Move STRONG!
Here's what you gotta do, and do these in no particular order, but don't get stuck on one, skip to the next if you have to, but do them all. I know what I'm talking about.
The Universe likes SPEED.
Keep up.

   Do a print/prep/press/show off video of a really HOT design

   Custom make a relatable image with words that makes people LAUGH
   Disney and character tees
   Specific genres... (Religion, chickens, llama, cat, guns, plants)
   Words... (Real, Raw, Ruthless)

   Share on social media, neighborhood app, marketplace, groups, pages, craigslist, timesfreepress
  
   Hand out biz cards, give some to Skylar, Olivia.
  
   Stock for yardsales (tees, magnets, coasters, mousepads, flags, etc.)
   Include cookies and cold drinks/water
   Art too

  
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And now...we are going to be a financial master...
cause my girl is good at spending money faster than she makes it
so we gotta give her a checklist here too.

Step 1:
   Yeah, it sucks that taxes, tag, and a whole bunch of stuff seems to hit every month but one out of the whole fucking year.
   But your good at on a whim shit so we will benefit from it's good things instead of it's perceived bad things to help you out better.

   Spend every dollar. -
   That means use up the entire account funds for bills and then the rest on what you use for food/gas.

   30% goes to Soul - there is NO WAY around this fact that it works. So every cash amount gets split.
   30% to Soul in the cash stash, the rest goes in the bank for bills

   We are not 'trying' to make or earn money anymore.
   We are pushing out beautiful things. Images, pictures, items, products, art, colors, ALL the things

   Just say "Yep."
   This is different than saying 'yes'. Yep is when even shit pops up, you handle it with 'yep.
   When bills come up, you handle it with 'yep'.
   When you want to buy something, you say 'yep'.
   Adjust accordingly, cause 'yep' specifies a particular frequency of importance.
   Yes overpowers those specifics...
   and we want and NEED those specifics to HONE into our reasoning and craft.

   We are not 'making' money.
   We are creating ourselves and every motherfucker out there can move the fuck out of the way.
   There's no bargaining with a freight train.

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Step 2: coming soon. <3

  

  

Spice and Tacos

 Sup, beautifuls!

Fuck yeah! Let's do this thing of showing up a month late in the new year!

My world is spicy and fun!

Book 8 is on progress...cause you gotta love that, eh?!
Here's the Amazon link in case you want to read the others first!
  CLICK HERE FOR MY BOOKS


On a sewing hiatus at the moment

BUT I bought a sublimation printer and a heat press (2 actually...I can explain later)
and so that's my new fancy toy that is making my life enjoyable.
I can make tshirts and magnets...and stickers.. and stuffs...
Please buy my creations...
   I don't have a page or storefront for them yet though... haha
thinking about it...  need a name...

I'm hoping somebody will come level my back yard..I got garden plans...
and chicken coop plans...cause fuck the city... I be a chicken mom as well as a quail mom. <3
what they gonna do? get mad LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!
Imma eat them birds.

A+ game on my workouts.
You weak if you ain't showing up.

I'm actually meditating... but not like sitting and closing my eyes kind...
I feel fabulous, like I'm winning... cause I always be winning.

Still doing storage auctions...people are just bidding them too high lately...
they'll give up soon enough

Be beautiful, yo.
I'm off to write my novel! Gotta see what happens....cause these characters are making their own plans, LOL
And now I don't know what's gonna happen now O_O
Do you know how frustrating it is to be proofreading a few pages you wrote last night before continuing...and then it stops.... with a (start here) where I need to pick it up and write it... and I'm like damn it! NO I want to READ it, not have to write it ARGH!
Seer problems.

And yes, I'm still working on my other ongoing book too.
It's called 'The Alchemist's Daughter'  ... <3
I probably won't be sharing it, but it will be available on Amazon as well when it's ready...
I already have more pages in my novel written than this one, but hey...it's not up to me.


My tees I recently made... they;ll be posted on my FB eventually.

Love and Villains. <3

Hogwash in the pot

 I say a lot of shit, but I promise you it really is harder to actually do the shit said.

I finished my last sewing orders. Thank god, I hate sewing. Not the act...but that I have to do it first before I do soul work...and sadness...pure sadness...

I have art on the menu. But have I started it no...cause sewing had to get finished first.
Know what else is on that list first... the coop needs winterized...
two bags need names put on them...
stuff listed on marketplace or ebay...
I'm still waiting for my first sentence of book 8... but possibly a scene showed up...but not sure if it's first page relevant...

and I'm severely annoyed by people...which only delays my ever lasting greatness to jump into the flow of real life soul things... and I can't say it's their fault, but it's their fault.

But... I did get all the sewing finished in one day.
I have showed up for my workout all year.
We still all manage to get fed, and I got to do a good cleaning around the house.
So I'm not doing nothing...
I'm just not doing soul shit.

I also failed at completing my meditation lists... I got all the way through again except for the very last one.. LOL
It's still on the list though.
And I've not visited my other book either...as things there have been whacked silently weird and cray cray.

So.... I say a lot of shit...but yeah... my life is a mess too.
A beautiful one, mind you, but still... I could be invincible and unstoppable if I would just do the things and maybe if I ignore the people.

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I could make stupid plans to get up early and do all the things...but is that the answer...no
the answer is in showing up for soul... and most of that is easy...it's the laying aside of other things that is hard....cause we think those other things are more important.
Like, we know this...but it doesn't help when we want them all finished and handled and still be able to get into flow state to create and paint and write and sit in silence without people interfering in the energy...
we could brainstorm ideas to bypass these shortcomings....or obstacles, sure...but that's not the answer.
the answer is showing up in flow state while doing whatever you are doing...and it doesn't have to be creating...or being bombarded with anyone else's energy...
Ugh...so again...I find the answer to be one I often recall as being harsh, cruel, stubborn, and more villainous than most other states of being...
I like being the villain....yeah...but if I do it all the time, I tend to take it too far, Lol. It gets fun.

I'm just rambling to myself at the moment, don't mind me. I'll forget most of this in about 10 minutes.


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Imma go change my reality...later.

P.S. just an insight to keep in sight

 You know something... I had a post about not picking up the shovel...yet what did I do, two or so weeks after that..
I shoveled 45 loads of mulch dirt...

and I get it, that the analogy was about not picking up tasks to make money or get something from...

but the wreckage of coincidence sure is something, eh?

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that's all I came to say really.

of course, I didn't earn money shoveling mulch...
I offset the cost of mulch next spring for years though.
and this is stupid... this whole idea of costs and earnings and money in general.
I quit.

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There's this choice of leaving behind stupid shit.
not like stop acting like a kid or giving up donuts...
but of the whole assembly of how we perceive and receive all the pieces of this matrix system.
It is over. We don't half-ass choices here anymore...
and my consistency game is god level... something I can sit beside with trust in that

Really non stupid chaos coming soon.... it'll be lit.