A rant and a deluxe piece of engineering.

 

2023 Porsche 911 gt3 rs
But I prefer matte black....
the design software didn't have that option...

Just putting this here.
I exchanged the cybertruck for this...
because SPEED
and the new 4runner is already on the list when my current one expires

So I'm writing this book on Atlantis.
It's a collection of interviews from Atlantians.
Hope it makes the cut, haha.

Haven't wrote in the other lately, but it will come when it comes.
That one will take awhile, as it's not up to me...
It's up to the aethers what comes through...
and if I ever get some fucking time to meditate and have a chat.

I just wanted to rant today...
but while I'm speaking of books...
Just yesterday I had this huge influx of shit for book 8 of Angel of MidKnight...
and fuck me if this story ever ends...
Book 8 wouldn't be due til 2024...and here we are not even having stepped into 2023 yet.
son of a bitch...
son of a bitch...

Anyway...rant...
about this time constraint I'm still suffering from.
Suffer as in annoyed, not awfulness.
...
meditation...
that place I get all this awesome intelligence and genius from.
Where insights and unfathomable intuition grows out of.
where I meet the best people ever!!
   hence why real world people are so fucking boring...
so... I'm having the hugest irritation with being consistent.

'They' say to do meditation in the morning...
but that hasn't worked for the millionth time I've tried to do that.
My soul isn't even here...and then you want me to have a conversation or gather up cool stuff...
while I'm half asleep...
NO. I literately fall back asleep... or don't remember one second of whatever was going on..
so that does not work for me in any shape or form.
So mornings are a NO.
There's the afternoons. I love meditating in the afternoons...cause I don't fall asleep, I get to have chats with the aether peeps, or myself, or whatever... I remember it all. Easily can consciously delve into any issue or challenge to bring a solution to it. Manifesting powers are honed here.
  but...guess what... I've got shit to do.. errands, work, other work stuffs... I could do it a few days..
but a few days is not considered consistent.
   I do my workout more consistent than a few fucking days...
So unless I give up the jobs... which what's even wrong with that? (oh yeah.. *money)
the afternoons are a 'great time, but damn it if you aren't always available'.
Evenings... evenings are writing time. Networking time...
  I have gotten in a few meditations in the evenings.. but like the afternoons... not consistent. I get 3-4 on a good week...and that's not getting into the depths.
It's like eating fresh baked bread, but only the end piece... not the center....where it fucking matters...
I get my workout in more than that even!
FUUUUUCK...
I can't stay up til 2am all the time... *sigh.
And there is no such thing as cutting into writing time...I'd just be bombarded with book scenes the whole time...
Fuck me.. I don't even have art time... What the actual FUCK!?!?!?
Now I'm kinda pissed now that THAT realization has hit me...
wtaf...

I want it all.
Every fucking thing.

Especially that Porsche.

now..let's have a inner dialogue...
Say there was money to pay all the basics off and shit..
and buy the car and 4runner.. and hubs a new truck.. and the airstream...
Would I write? Absolutely! More so!
Would I meditate? Oh hell yeah! All the time!
Would I art? Certainly!
Would I workout? Yes! And go hiking at all the national parks, duh!
Would I pet sit?
   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  No....
   It's a no.
I already set my Rover account to 'away' so I don't pick up any new clients...
and truthfully I can give current clients to Skylar to handle.
No biggie... I do it for the money and ease and play time with pups/kits and I can run errands while I'm out and about. But yeah.. it buys gas and pays a few bills.
Would I still sew?
   That's a no too.
   Right now I only work one day every two weeks cause slow season... which is rather great.
  But *money
   ....but time...
time to do my stuffs....

We will rearrange my list and just do it.
Create the happening.
I can do what I want.


Peace out.

Nah.

 I've tried 3 times to come here and actually write.
So noww I have a sentence, so I guess that's a win.

When you channel other souls and they want to argue with you while you are writing a book...
that's fun...
when they gotta be draggin you into the story, when you don't want to be in the story to where people
know you're in the story.
But that's what Thoth does I suppose.
Tyrant.
Just like me.
Kuddos.
I may just edit it all out. idk yet.

Words are falling short in other aspects lately, unless you count the book I'm writing.
Which has a title already....and I'm so proud...
   *huffs on fingernails and buffs them on shirt cause it's all that and more.
Hoping it will be a short book, aiming for 10 interviews.
  which may bring it to 100 pages if I'm lucky....
  but that mind probe is saying it needs to be longer... argh... might just yank that out
  cause what's wrong with 100 pages... *sigh

I have a few intentions I've thought about... to up my game.
adding back the focused meditation has already paid off and I will be continuing such expenditures.
Think I'll do a kylego too... cause why not... last time I did that, it also paid off pretty well...
just like the time I posted all those pics of my future 4runner.... *which I also still LOVE.
 and the pool pics *thumbs up... even though we have to relevel it for next year...

so let's start now...
waiting until the new year is for losers.



((((((((((((((((((((
((((((((((((((((((((

Kylego 12/22/2022

   I remember... when the properties we listed for sale sold in the same week for our asking price. It was amazing, one sold and then boom, a few days later the others did. Everything went smoothly and quickly and that ignited our finances to clear out the rest of the debt soon after.
   Things moved SO FAST! and everything shifted amazingly in our favor! We scored some awesome opportunities for quick chunks of massive cash and enhanced our finances for the long term.
It was so fun and exciting to get the publishing contract and finally earn huge checks for writing! That was a great start to an actual career that pays better than all things combined.
Oh! It even sparked my artwork to start working again and made big bucks with that, selling all the originals and still selling multiple prints of past pieces.
Also got an outstanding payment check for the next book that is already in the works! I'm so excited!
I just loved that everything aligned perfectly. I loved it made life so simple and easy.
I loved how quickly things unfolded and how expanded it made things.
I love how beautiful things grew more and more and more.
I love that the older kids found a great place to move that was perfect and affordable and safe and nearby. I love that Teir found a job he really likes and is thriving.
I love that hubs is going hiking and growing his hair out.
I love that I'm rich and the garage is cleaned out so that when I get my porsche, it has somewhere to go.
I love that Tesla stocks went to $1000 per share...and still growing.
I remember when I saw the future and it came true....and I saw the past and it met me again.

(((((((((((((((((((((((
)))))))))))))))))))))))

just minor updates so you don't think I forgot about you.

 
So I've been writing this other book...if that's what it's called?
and today revealed a huge dimension of information and insight into some sciency worldly stuffs...
   and I'm not sure if I can write about it... if I can share about it...
and there are no minds around me that are willing to dive into quantum physics..
at east not on a serious level... *sigh.
it totally has to do with some things that are highly controversial...ya know, like flat earth.

Anyway...
besides all those happenings from the aethers which are in my new project book...
   I'm really just trying to get my 'art' to start back up and turn on...
  cause it's not looking good besides the ideas...the images... but absolute ZERO motivation to begin.
and maybe it will one day...but I'll need to reconsider giving handmade gifts... argh.
  which would be great if I had money.

Speaking of money..
what even is that...? cause yeah...
I quit sewing at home...shadowdragon dreams
   even if I am still actively fighting off mind invasions of doing this or that for pay...
   really ignoring and redirecting that nonsense of doing for money...
   rather than doing because I fucking WANT to.
   so far I'm winning....cause I'm writing ... and that's what I WANT to do...
   *I also want to get paid for such too, thanks..
I still have the alterations job at the bridal place...
  still learning stuffs, but only working 1 day a week right now, slow season
   which is fine, cause I like staying home.
////speaking of... still watching pets too...
   have one client I check on twice daily... every weekday almost.
   It's meh... but it's money...
   but like I said, I like staying home....sooo.. I may drop that come Feb.
   I already turned off booking new clients on Rover..soo.. meh...
Otherwise...
  house stuffs, christmas stuffs...facebook stuffs...
...and...
   whateverthefuck...

I was hoping something interesting would come out to play...
but it looks like that only works with books...

bored...gonna go...
can't promise I'll be back here anytime soon, but no plans to quit anything here ;)

Things that don't make sense matter

 It's Halloween night....

and I sent out a bunch of emails yesterday for my screenplays.and I'm not one bit happy about it...
and I'm trying to convince myself that I had to do it to discover the answers...
but in truth.
I already knew the answer,
I always know the answer, *sigh.
and I keep trying to disprove myself all the time...
cause who can be right all the time?
who?
who?
even when I pretend it's gonna go great...
or have hope.
or have some illusion playing in my mind about the possibilities...
there's something standing right there in front of my mind going...
  'nah girl. this is bullshit.'
and I tell her to shut up, cause how does she know.
how does this I know?
how?
how?
who is she?
who is me?

fuck.

_______________

so what now...
what now?

mundane life stuff... all bullshit
writings stuffs....
   book editing starts tomorrow <3
  other book is still in progress cause it comes when it comes and I can't tell you when it supposed to come or not.
  Nothing else yet, beside a few random posts on FFS group... which I'm planning to transition over to my main page...and maybe restart a public page afterwards...

Art is revealing colors to me, so that will be on the agenda soon.
Excited to get back into the colors and paints and creating
Probably just christmas presents, cause I'm only buying a new bed mattress this year...and maybe a new go cart...and if I miraculously win  a million dollars     enough...  a porsche. 

Yeah, so... idk...
aethers are quite a thing lately, so I've been there
and I'm on a mission to hit 500 workouts on my ifit before the end of the year...
think it's at 437 right now... since December last year when I got my Nordictrack

Yes, I'm still working at my little side gig job.

All good here.
I love my life.

Just another day in the New Kingdom

 ooohhh...

So let's just say there's an ongoing creation going on with the perceived past.
A huge memory/past dump and wipe out...
Yeah... past-hacking...
of which I have doted on the things I've already altered.
and now it's been ravaged by an eraser and defrag and clearing...
so much so that it's been removed.
Every fucking bit of it this time.
Not sorry.

And now there's the adding of that which I've called forth to include in the rebuilding.
Something we can't do in a day...
but oh my dear...
   the effects of just this morning's new layer....
      can already be felt.

I might call this absurd and insane...
and maybe a bit hypnotic and erroneous and careless and dangerous....
    if I were someone looking in....
but to me...this is a necessary freeing of all that I am.
   and what was carved out from me....
    what was covered and stolen and cut away and hidden...
can now only thrive.
Like a forest that regrows after you've torn down the factory.

God bless this time and space for this healing and rewriting and creating.
   the matrix the council has placed me in is dead...
and I'm the fucking forest bitches.

_________________________

Mundane shit...

I'm getting antsy about editing book 7!!
  so excited to get back to it and start the process....
  but it's not time yet...
   Ahhhh! I can't wait!!

but anyway...
trying to remember to come here and write shit, cause I forget...
and obviously I can't always write on my feng shui group...
I can't always post awesome content for people to argue over on my page...
and I can't always write the 'currently in progress' book...
and I can't always write or edit my novels....
and maybe if I had a brain cell I didn't delete...
   I'd remember I have scripts to work on.... or write...

yeah.... so Imma do that...
one of those at least, LOL

have a great day

Futures of the new..it's CORN!

 It's only been a handful or two...of months...
"I'm totally alive and well!"
...
mundane ---
   I quit sewing at home, I laid aside ShadowDragon Dreams... yet again.
   I still have the job.
   Still have the quail, the kids, the pets, the numerous household projects I've yet to get done.
  I recently finished the first draft of book 7
   Still working on the other book.
   Still have plans/ideas for my feng shui group workbook thing... maybe...it's shifting.
  Still workout almost every day of the week.
   I have a bushel of apples in my kitchen.
   Finally regrouted my bathroom tile.
  I pet sit still, but only recurring clients, not taking any new ones right now.
   Have a ton of yard stuff to do...pool stuff...
 
___________

The Alchemist is still here and I love that.
  this makes like 3 years, yo! I'm SO ECSTATIC!

I think I'll actually go write a few pages in this other book I'm working on..
It;s a process since it's not a story...
It's about ME and The Alchemist... and omg, I love it so fucking much.

__________

Future post... cause I have it on my to-do list and why not.

A chunk of weeks until the revealing.
The theater is ready, the backdrops are set....
and now the actors are practicing their lines.
The lighting crews and the prop directors are awaiting their time to shine.
Just a handful more weeks and this show will be a GO!

You'll start to feel the settling in by November as people take their seats.
They'll be anticipating the new stories, the new writers, the new characters...
They'll get comfortable and cozy and sigh with relief...
and then the curtains will open to reveal THIS WHOLE NEW THING!
This new thing you never saw coming.
No one leaked info, or spoke a word of it...yet here it is..laid bare before our eyes.
   The new program and the new system...
Then the scene will open...the story set...and hence forth the integration will commence.

You won't have to ask for what you need...
It will be served.
You won't have to struggle to make ends meet...
The new systems will be user friendly, although a slight learning curve (or a set back to some for a very short time)
But overall, things will run smoother and faster once you get the hang of it.
Lapse time will be shortened dramatically, so don't be surprised if things go from thought to reality fairly quickly.
Remain seated and play along with the characters...
    they will be there to entrain you to navigate and utilize the new structures, programs, and systems.

Take note: There will be multiple sides of the theater.
Think of it like a symphony or orchestra. Some people will be the base drums, others the trumpets, still others the violins and flutes and cellos and oboes...
recognize and be kind to those who are opposite your playing field.
We all work in accordance with the tools and knowledge we've accumulated thus far.

The rest of us in the balcony seats who don't participate will be watching the show and the audience and throwing little tips to help you enjoy the disaster adventure you have found yourself in.
We have popcorn up here.

Just stuff...

 "Sir?"
"I am here."
"This stuff. This disconnect from me to me to me to me... This." I point.
"You know why." He says. "But I know that is not what you are seeking."
I sit and wait. Silent. Half broody. I'm tired.
"Pieces of you out there, but lost." He begins. "Pieces of you in here."
"I'm not afraid. Let's go." I meet his eyes.
"You can love them without loss. No one can take away what was never theirs."
"What I love is mine." I repeat.
"Yes."
"And I just stopped loving them when I let them go." I sigh.
"Yes." He confirms.
"I can love everything. Make it all mine."
"Yes."

"And this?" I point again.
"Love it too."

"And what is love?"
"The energy that transmutes, creates, and gives life."

"I can do that."

"Once you transmute them all... you will understand how powerful this love is. There will be no returning."
"Sounds fantastic." I smirk.
   ( he makes me look the word 'fantastic' up...)
"Nevermind. It's good. Real good." I correct.
"Love that does not transmute, is just a word." He states. "Remember the connection and it will pass from you to you to you."
"To you." I add.
"To... you."

_______________________________

How not to make a bad decision...
let's ask, cause I can't write worth a flip to myself anymore.

Yo, Mustang... cans I's borrows you?

"Do not get comfortable with those words."
I smile, cause he showed up super fast and I love it. I love him.

"This prospect.. this opportunity." I say it slow, cause how else do you mention a job opportunity when you don't even want a job. "What do you think?"
"You have fed into doubts even before you have walked through the door." He mentions. "Remarkable."
   He rolls his eyes. He knows this can be a huge pattern of mine.
"I'm trying to talk myself out of it. Trying to pick out all the bad things. For me and them." I sigh.
"What if it is just what creates a space of fun?" He glances my way.
"Maybe." I shrug. "And if it's one of a thousand things I've already tried and quit at, cause eww."
"Then it will be a thousand and one." He adds. "There will never be enough 'perks' to change the vibration of it. There will never be enough sacrifices to change the vibration of it."
"I don't even know the real vibration of it." I admit.
"Will you tomorrow?"
"I hope so." I sigh, not believing that for a second.
"Bring it into you." He loses patience. "You can not change anything to your liking by going out to meet it. Change it now." He pauses. "Create it now."
   I nod. He's right.

____________________

Sooo.... That was an adventure.
By that I mean a horrible trip fest of doubts and 'let's just not do this' and 'I don't want to' and
I'm a fucking mess and this can't be the place for me...
and then I take the job, cause it's kinda alluring and real and I have a handful of hours and this manager girl is crazy, I love her.
and what am I doing?
The Alchemist walks in and sits in the chair. He flops his feet up on the table. He slowly....incredibly slowly pauses before glancing my way.
"What the hell happened?" I ask him. I was not prepared for any of this or expecting any of it and fuck my vibration, cause there's nothing sure now.
"The captain drives the boat, but he never controls the sea." He mentions coolly.
"Well this port has bourbon." I mumble.
"Did you think your vibration, your trying and efforting, was ever going to make the waves bow to you?" He asks.
"Absofuckinglutely." I glare. I'm a fucking god.
"You are when you are a good captain." He nods. "Then it is like there are no waves, no challenges, no chaos."
"In sync." I sigh, understanding.
"Resonant. Where the waves and you are the same and you are the bliss of calm." He double thinks his words, but leaves them at that.
   I get it. I get him. I don't get me, but I get this scenario and thing I traveled upon today.

"This." I point. "This needs to go."
   He looks at me.
"What does?" He asks. Not looking for the answer, but to clarify that there's not an issue.
"When? I've got adventures apparently. It feels like a chain." I mention.
"Just for today. What are you doing, who are you being, where are you going, and those things you love... play with them." He attunes.
"I'm going to be all of me. All the things I love." I concur. "I really love money today, by the way."
   He smirks. He knows I feel broke and can't buy flowers just yet. Nor do I have the focus or energy.
"I love focus." He hears my thoughts. "It cuts through almost everything." He nods assured as he stands.
"Imma focus on not going insane." I snicker.
"Try focusing on those flowers. Those cabinets, that garden, that whatever you are having fun with stuff." He sighs. "Focus goes a long way and carves out the paths that lead to more of it."
"Aight." I nod.
 He gives a small smile and walk out the door...


___________

I don't know if it's true... the way they reveal the triggers that drag you down to those lower thought patterns. But I see you bleed from the scars upon your flesh.
You claim this and that when everything is peachy. You revel in the likes of knowing you haven't been triggered by what they are throwing our this week or last. You have risen high above the piddly infantile snares they left out for the others...
Oh... but you think it's all dandy until something stronger comes upon you unaware. When something does catch you in a trap and lasso your leg, just enough to send you hurling down the pavement, not even knowing what is happening.
You are flailing. And you may still be one step ahead of those who fell prey to Corona, or Monkeypox, or Will, or Depp, or whatever else they've been feeding you... but you've been dragged too, those of you who instantly jumped into the corral for this new thing.
You can only stand long enough until your legs give out because you still are depending upon your legs. Flailing. Blood dripping because you too are falling into chaos.... and all it took was a news report.
They have you caught in the net and you are defending how pretty and safe the net makes you feel.

I want to remind you that you do not have to comply.
You are not evil.
We are not evil.
You do not have to choose the options they present.
You do not have to obey.
You do not have to fear.
You do not have to partake in any of this.
Stop defending your trigger, your cage, your net, your beliefs.... and watch how you easily it is for you to shame another. How easily it is for you to cast blame or guilt or to correct someone else.
How easily you became those that entrapped you.

I love watching you wake up and see.
I love when you choose to love.
I love when you decide right here, right now... to step from their control.
You get to choose. You always get to.

We do not have to fix the things and the items and the stuff our hands touch.
We only need to fix our hearts. Our minds. Our beliefs. Our choices. Our knowing.
...and then whatever we touch will be blessed.

fire is on the inside.... and through and through, till it bleeds all over

 Good god.

My scorpio rising and moon signs are SO FUCKING DONE with all this shit.

I want to just watch it all fucking burn.
and I don't care...
with a tad of delightful enjoyability mixed in...
which may mean that I'm wasting my fucking time and energy on SHIT
shit that doesn't matter..that doesn't really matter (which I know it doesn't)
and this thing we are trying to make into something...to uphold..
to build into something simpler and more of a thing to provide sustenance...
is creating the void of it.
is wavering in the wind
is highly flammable...
and I want it to burn...
cause IDGAF!

and the barren landscape left over can let the fucking forest regrow...
and that IS simpler.
That does provide sustenance.
and it upholds itself.

FUCK!

My pisces sun is struggling with accountibility.
with follow-through
with people pleasing
with maintaining the happiness factor of pretendability...
with keeping what little sustenance that flows, still flowing...

oh bitch...
if you'd just let that forest regrow...
it will grow everything on it's own.

Beliefs...even cold hard logical facts...
these innate KNOWN inner truths which I keep trying to disprove...
but my girl...
I'm fucking right about this stuff...
and yet here I am wallowing in pitiful doubts and fears...
fucking bitch.
You're worth more than this shit.

______________________

I haven't meditated or spoke more than a few words with The Alchemist of late...
and only this morning was the fire brewing..begging me to set it all aflame...
urging me...
handing me the torch....
and The Alchemist...
He's handing me this torch too...
and there are no words he needs to speak, when I can see it in his eyes.

There's no fear of the end.
It's the screams from others that I've never known what to do with.
pussies.

fucking cowards...
pigeons.

and these pieces strapped to me...
we may have to work them off slowly...
or we can throw myself into the flames too...
but we will set ourselves free

Raw, wild, chaotic freedom.
and my birthright
soulright
my sovereignty lies in the ashes and in the flames and in the scorched ecstasy.

Burn them all.

___________________________________
________________________________________

I read a post yesterday about the Universe...
how many 'woke' people refer to themselves as working for the Universe...
and I was once in that space...for a time...
but ...

The Universe works for me...




____________________

Don't follow the rules... BLEED

 Painted a huge 3.5' x 4' canvas today.
fingerpainted
it's a sun.flower...
but it's more of a making sure the borders that we see are in fact demolished and crumbled beneath the feet.
yeah, there's still rubble and debris...and this act of climbing over it...
but the wall is gone

allowing this to bleed out without expectation or judgement
even when they don't meet the high standards of my visions
expectations
judgements
and lord knows I can't meet them myself, much less the paint on my fingers meet them too

this is the cost of seeing

seeing the aethers clearer than the manifested reality we find ourselves in...
and falling short of the elaborate perfection of things beyond life.
I can see more than I can grasp, more than I can touch...
and like paint... it falls with effort, leaving little to the senses
little to be surprised about

and although judging them would be moot and pointless...
there are 'other' things I just happen to like better
and we get to like things, yes?
we get to choose, yes?

we get to select the qualities we prefer...

and maybe everything here on the earth plane strives to be the highest, with cool cars, and memes of ducks in your pockets, and kittens, and cookies...
but it's level 3... maybe 4...
and maybe it's an annoying thing to once behold level 42 and now only have squalor to pick from.
not that it's bad... it's just not my preference....

where has this perspective come from?
what kingdom have I fallen from to see the contrast all too clearly?
and how much longer are we going to have to watch this play?
I'm bored and if I could walk out of the theater, I would
...

_____________________________________

Sold a dress on Etsy... of all places... I haven't sold on there for years... wow.
I hope my bank account still gets linked and I get paid correctly...
And I can sew this dress in like 3-4 days...
all good...

I don't know what else my life has planned...
cause I'm just tagging along, having high expectations it's gonna get funner...
-_-

___________________________________

.

I'm still writing that book...
it's ongoing and I get the next chapter/addition...
when it comes... not before...
cause it's between me and The Alchemist...
and right now we are in Maui, mountain climbing...
and I can't meditate right now, cause I have polyacrylic sealant drying in here and it smells...

which means I'm gonna go... cause toxins...
lol

I'll hang it up tomorrow!
This will be one of the fastest paintings I've done... for the size anyway...
my speed paintings and the little fingerpaintings I did before were quick too...
anyways...

later sassafras and chumpkins

Future readings and a snack

 Hi again.
It's Sunday and it's raining and cold and I'm not going outside today.

Doing sewing work, and working on some Demon Slayer character appliques. YAY!
I much enjoy the respite from Disney characters.

And I have a frame to put a canvas on, because colors are prodding me with a rod right now and I'm concerned they might make it electrified.... so gonna get this prepped too asap.
I'll gopro a video for it.... I think it's gonna be a sunflower... (*maybe?)
fingerpainting or big brush, cause limitations are for chimps. (sheep)

Still writing my other book, not my novel...yet

little tid bits of things..

___
Aether lands...
we are in Maui and mountain climbing?? which is supposed to be a hike to the waterfalls...
but now I'm unsure, cause vagueness. The Alchemist likes to over do some things...
O_O


And just so you are aware and I make sure I can say I called it...
the world is in the dampering stage.. the buffering stage... the laying the concrete and waiting for it to be dried stage...
going to be a boring process for a little bit, then slowly things will begin moving along...
nothing huge or big or exciting... but moving and changing... like watching foundation blocks get stacked and mortared...
Be prepared for frustrations and impatience to run high, especially on rainy days.
Would be wise to focus on your own little life and your own little thrills and hobbies...cause the world's stage is getting a makeover...the backdrops are shifting and getting redone. The costumes are getting sewn up for the new players, the new actors....
We won't begin to see the revelations of these changes until close to summer...into deep summer.
There's no hurry here and this time and space for these preparations are NEEDED.
So shut up, sit back, relax and chill tf out a bit. Nothing is so important.

In real terms... all the 'news' is just things to keep you busy and engaged with something else.
Don't buy anything big or expensive or that will need possible hard to find parts.
Do not take up a new expenditure or dump funds into growing anything just yet... wait until summer/fall when things are more obvious on whether your plan is viable with the new systems.
Go a bit minimalistic... make your new vision boards by how you feel today... clear out some troubles and snags and just get comfortable with the spaciousness for now... you can pick up more later if you want, just recognize emptiness while nothing else is happening... you'll need to know what this is down the road.
Don't chitter chatter with those who are griping about whateverthefuck. Those are the impatient people sitting in the theater complaining about the curtains not opening...
Get strong in your mind.
Get flexible and make your body reliable.
We get to listen to music during intermissions... turn it up loud. Add new songs to your playlist and remove the ones you keep skipping over.
Don't horde or save or cling or bleed out... pay what needs paid, buy your shit you need, and keep moving. Don't give everything to tackle debt, stay steady... Plan investments for the fall, cause things will move fast then, not now.
Add more protein, iron, and zinc to your diet. (meat/beans, greens, red berries/peppers) think the christmas colors. Deep rich colors, not that pale faced white iceberg lettuce shit.
Do NOT cut or dye your hair!
Do NOT adopt a pet/person/relationship until end of summer/fall.
Do not quit your job until mid summer, if you're gonna do it anyway.
Hang tight, be patient.
BE PATIENT.
PATIENCE!
Do not pick up frustrations right now. Let them go.

and we can have the fall festival in glory and abundance....
I'll see you there.

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I just remembered that it is still January... *sigh...

Imma go make pancakes for dinner.

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Ramblings on a winter's day

 
I nixed facebook...
and i'm only there for my ShadowDragon Dreams page...
which is so fucking dead in the water, idgaf anymore.
I have a handful of clients that keep coming back, which is great and all,
but those 6 or so people aren't always able to pay me a monthly cost of living increase.

and my financial feng shui page... which is fine, it doesn't make money yet.
maybe it will oneday. idgaf about that either.


and posting these blog posts on their page, lol... sometimes anyway.

I don't actually write much here, as I'm writing a book right now...
and yet to start on my novel... which I know once I do, that's my life til it's finished.

anyway....
lots of weird random dreams, none of which I actually liked...
and most of it was just shit and turmoil...
and chaos...
not sure if I should take heed on those, but I don't think they are relative to anything real.
last one appeared to be telling me to sell my stocks and crypto....
which isn't a bad thing per se...
but it's in a dip right now.... so... umm... no.
I can wait.
I don't need that money to do anything right now.
winter blues, that is all.

otherwise, energetic wise, things are still... like in a resting phase before something moves again.
intermission... yeah. that's it.

fuck this jupiter in pisces shit. I was under the impression it was supposed to be good and fun ...
but it's not like that at all.
I hate astrologers, they are so fucking stupid.
and I've got more scorpio blood in my veins than whatever those fish seem to claim.
sun signs are for pussies.

anyway....

everything is really great.

I got work, lots of time, lots of energy.
money is my friend....
and besides the fact that smoothie king wants over $8 for a smoothie...
I'm quite satisfied with all the things.


and yes, I'm still in cohorts with The Alchemist.
We are in Maui...still....
and if I ever share my book I'm currently writing, you'll hear all about it.


I recently read my novel book 6 again too.... so I know where I left off HAHA
and I got the goods and know where it starts, but the aethers keep putting more people in it, and I'm like NOOOO!!!! but it's not listening and now I have to remember these people's names and apparently they are gonna play a big part... fuck me. They were never in my idealogical version I have compiled in a handful of notes and ideas... and scenes, and quotes...

and art shit, which I do and don't want to do.... keeps flowing through on occasion....
I dont have time for that right now though.... cause I have sewing work...and paint and fabrics do not mix well in the same room.
not that that ever dictated anything in real life... hehe


ok.... I'm outta here...

dust and bones, like the world you see

 2 days ago I stepped out of the simulation and saw it for the illusion, the delusion that it really is.
I'm not talking about the matrix shit... or this surreal virtual reality...
even if the idea of it being dust and bones in the 'real world' is kinda closer to the truth than I'd like to agree with.

It happened at the little walmart... yeah, even though I don't even like walmart, but we had $35 free dollars to spend there, and well, they still sell ice cream and milk....sooo...
At the checkout, the hubs was elaborating and opinionating about how the cost of a bottle of water was more than the cost of a soda in one of those little fridges at the checkout lane...
and then continued to share how the system could be made better, or offering a 'fix'... ya know, the thing guys do...
and I told him to leave it.
To leave the idea of fixing it, the broken system, the screwed up imitations and procedures, the idea of helping or saving a race meant to pass away... I didn't say that, but my mind went there...
that whole aspect of not giving attention to play with the mortals and their toys...
which are in fact nothing but the dust in which they were made from...

I was cast from the simulation in a moment of awareness and clarity... when the bottles of soda and water and the whole fridge were marred relics of a destroyed system.... kinda like the scorched sky and the dilapidated cities in the matrix... for reals...
And it is all the frequency....
The system supports a low frequency which is not much more than the physical crudeness of the material realm to begin with. A pretty package and the illusion of better... but all of it false and unsatisfying...
like spending a week on a carnival cruise ship with people blinded by their idea that they are happy and satisfied, when behind their eyes they struggle to hide their fears, their pains, their sorrows...and smile it away as much as they announcer can say the word 'fun'....

and it was dust and bones and people eat it up like its something real... like its something relevant and important....
and the systems that are crumbling before our eyes... hollywood, education, healthcare, economy.... money... they pretend they can save these things...when they are dust and bones... and although I get a tad bit enamored with the plays they try to push and pretend.... I've seen this theatrical production before.... and I am all about the end game.
There's nothing they can do to save any of it....
and it is fucking glorious.
I'm thrilled.

Yes, they will bring forth the new systems right on cue... I see those coming too... and those who are compliant will accept those new programs effortlessly and efficiently.
And that's okay...
And people will suffer, and blindly accept the new system, and that's okay too...
and while some of us watch on the fringes of the box office balcony seats... we keep buying tickets to the shit show.
And we aren't here to rescue the players, or the audience...
As their frequencies too will deliver them into their own hands, or the hands of the new systems... and we'll have to wait to watch the next show.

__
_
_

SO what does this simulation and perception leave me with? how does this define and deliberate my life?
who knows, but I'm enjoying the show...and I get a kick out of the destructions... and while ten thousand possibilities could roll in with our heroes... sometimes it's just a slow and steady and silent falling off the cliff... the blood puddling beneath a thousand corpses.... and even then...
The sovereign stand.

and maybe my perceptions haven't quite settled just yet...
I feel the world is unsettled and nervous the past day or so... like a fire is coming over the hillside...

the theater is on fire... perhaps like my dream from before (not including the one I had last night)
and while they can't see it, they can feel it...
the smoke seeps, filling the ceiling above the audience...
and whatever is to come...

it's all okay.
yeah, I mean people die and all... and there's no way out... but there's a door beside the stage with fire proof walls... most won't ever see it coming... and many fill themselves with fear before they burn...
but some of us (or maybe just me and hubs)... bought these tickets on purpose...

namaste


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I'm still writing the book....
and will start on my book 7 novel sometime soon... it's building...
I'm letting the forest regrow...
and I don't know if I wrote that here or on fb or in my other book...
but it's been a very rewarding experience thus far.
sewing work, kinda just got given to me almost effortlessly... which is great...
and while we will be losing $800+ mo starting in March... I've been allowing to feel out how well the forest can make money far better than the mechanism that was there to begin with.
I wonder what grows beneath the equipment and structures...
   I firmly believe in possibilities and abundance... and maybe the magic mushrooms will grow here...
ayahuasca maybe...
I feel the fires here even... slowly bringing that system to it's knees and ultimate death...
a tragedy and a sacred blessed gift...
this frequency is lit, yo.