fire is on the inside.... and through and through, till it bleeds all over

 Good god.

My scorpio rising and moon signs are SO FUCKING DONE with all this shit.

I want to just watch it all fucking burn.
and I don't care...
with a tad of delightful enjoyability mixed in...
which may mean that I'm wasting my fucking time and energy on SHIT
shit that doesn't matter..that doesn't really matter (which I know it doesn't)
and this thing we are trying to make into something...to uphold..
to build into something simpler and more of a thing to provide sustenance...
is creating the void of it.
is wavering in the wind
is highly flammable...
and I want it to burn...
cause IDGAF!

and the barren landscape left over can let the fucking forest regrow...
and that IS simpler.
That does provide sustenance.
and it upholds itself.

FUCK!

My pisces sun is struggling with accountibility.
with follow-through
with people pleasing
with maintaining the happiness factor of pretendability...
with keeping what little sustenance that flows, still flowing...

oh bitch...
if you'd just let that forest regrow...
it will grow everything on it's own.

Beliefs...even cold hard logical facts...
these innate KNOWN inner truths which I keep trying to disprove...
but my girl...
I'm fucking right about this stuff...
and yet here I am wallowing in pitiful doubts and fears...
fucking bitch.
You're worth more than this shit.

______________________

I haven't meditated or spoke more than a few words with The Alchemist of late...
and only this morning was the fire brewing..begging me to set it all aflame...
urging me...
handing me the torch....
and The Alchemist...
He's handing me this torch too...
and there are no words he needs to speak, when I can see it in his eyes.

There's no fear of the end.
It's the screams from others that I've never known what to do with.
pussies.

fucking cowards...
pigeons.

and these pieces strapped to me...
we may have to work them off slowly...
or we can throw myself into the flames too...
but we will set ourselves free

Raw, wild, chaotic freedom.
and my birthright
soulright
my sovereignty lies in the ashes and in the flames and in the scorched ecstasy.

Burn them all.

___________________________________
________________________________________

I read a post yesterday about the Universe...
how many 'woke' people refer to themselves as working for the Universe...
and I was once in that space...for a time...
but ...

The Universe works for me...




____________________