The Soul of magic.

This guy...

he's decked out in mostly gold, but is able to mirage himself to a silvery color too.
He has on this gold headpiece with fractal designs sticking off the top, cut in
a circular form. Eyes are covered. Long golden hair.
-- "I  am Divinity of Light. One who leads you through shadow."
He's fascinating.
and very vocal. Like doesn't have an issue speaking...
or I don't have an issue hearing him, right...
So this venture with him... this new guide... wowsa..

-- "Do you believe in magic?" He asks.
and I'm like, what a stupid question... um.. yeah!
-- "Then why do you hold your power at bay?"

what a way to shut my ass up...
I am such a child, lol. I love this.
and he continues (without being prompted! How rare is that, yo!)
-- "There are doors, but you have few, and those that are open shall be filled with glorious light.
The light can shine in, but it is a haven when it shines outward from within."

He takes me before this large (huge ass) golden doorway (no door, more like a portal with a threshold). Around it is a sea with rocks sticking up out of it. Dark cloudy/misty skies.
The gold doorway hangs in the air.
And where does that lead? I ask him.
-- "To the Inner Realm." He says...
and this doorway is like a liquid (kinda like in those sci fi shows... like stargate, but not brightly lit. It's a reflective liquid) and I touch it and it ripples...
I step inside and the other side is a direct reflection of the other, exact mirror image.
I turn around. and it is what he said it was. The Inner Realm.
There are doorways/portals. Two were completely open with light shining on them fully, one was partial open/partial lit. The others were what I would call 'ajar'... there were walls blocking most of the light from the center from shining onto those doorways.
The walls were small, like door size and they moved on a center pole (so the basically could rotate)
and facing one way they blocked the light from hitting the door, if you turn it, the light moves past the wall and hits the door...
fyi -- these door/portal things are chakra based, I'm pretty sure.
So I was walking around in this realm place and we stopped before one and I turned the wall...
and the light began hitting the door...and the door began to open on it's own, like become filled with light.
And each wall represents like a blockage that keeps you from becoming more (open?)?? or something...
but as you stand at each wall, you already know what they represent for yourself and you have
the choice to leave them or turn them to allow the light to hit the doors.
So I went around and fucking turned then all... #FearlessAF   #BoldAF
there was also a pillar in there, all black, like marble... and I threw it into the light center...
it disappeared...
So this dude didn't even try to stop me, lol.
I was literately on the fine edge between being bold and wreckless. It felt great.
And when you suddenly move a wall, 'because we aren't having this shit in our way anymore'...
there's this fantastic surge of some energy shit in that matching chakra...
I'm not even kidding.

In shorter terms... what did I do?
I fucking got lit.

and now I see that this dude's headpiece looks almost exactly like this inner realm place....wtf.
So that was my adventure as of late.

___________________________________________________________


Tomorrow is Halloween!!!
end of October.
Wednesday.
I feel a jump coming on.
Like walking up to the ledge... and you're already ready to go..
but you can't for the life of you remember why you're here...
how you got here...
what it is for...
or where you're planning to get to...
or what you'll do once you're there...
How's that for planning!
But...yeah....
you're still going to jump...
because, why not?
thrill of the unknown.
thrill of allowing fear and laughing at it.
oh hell yes.
more of that please!
 More of all of this. Fuck yes.


so let's get realllllllllllllll......
funny how the little letter l on here looks like the number 1
that's how you get away with posting copyrighted shit on ebay and etsy...
you type GRINCH in as GRlNCH or GR1NCH
and the Dr. Suess people leave you alone...
not that I have EVER done that.
anyway... back on track here...
cause this train of thought is chugging...
erratically at best... whiskey..bourbon...
I don't even drink, but I like to pretend.
and taste...
I'm still regretting not getting a glowing drink from Pandora.
cause it glows...
and glowing things make me smile.
and it's an alien drink, yo.
I'm all for aliens.
and totally ready to be seeing ufo's again.
anyway.... getting reallllll

and leaving white space for you,so it doesn't look like a bunch of rambling...
which it probably will be. FUN!

Do you kow how when you want to do something fun and crazy
and exciting and BoldAF...
and you want others to come along...

but...
you don't have anyone to come along...
because it's way too crazy for them.
too fun.
too exciting that it all feels like fear
(fyi -- fear and excitement feel exactly the same in your body, yo!)
too bold. too too too TOO much of something
and they are not friends with your other friend..
the one named Trust.

and they can't even understand the concept of 'winging it'.
cause they believe they can't fly...
how sad.

Back on track... kinda..
I'm gonna do some BoldAF shit.
I hope you will consider your options.
While I wreak havoc across this plane of existence.
I am excited!!!!!
_________________________________
_______________________________________
_____________________________________________

in other news...
My brain wants to produce something...
 -- perhaps in exchange for money...
but my soul is like...
"WTF! No, we don't."
and the brain is like...
-- make money! sell shit! you can paint, you can do something!
and soul is like...
"STFU. No."
and brain is like...
-- but we have time! more money is fun! you are not being productive!
and soul is like..
"I am going to sit with this and love it. And we will do nothing."
and brain is like..
 -- sit?! are you being lazy? you can think of something! you are useless.
and soul is like..
"How cute. I love this show."
and brain is like...
-- this isn't a show! you are able to work more and make more money!
and soul is like..
"Do you want to go get a taco?"
and brain is like...
-- build something! you are wasting time! you could do so much with yourself!
and soul is like...
"We haven't had tacos in like a month, yo. We could get tacos and then ponder a script."
and brain is like...
-- writing doesn't make money! stop wasting your life! you could be paying off bills, not buying tacos!
and soul is like...
"I love brain. I love writing. I love tacos too."
 and brain is like...
-- I hate you both.

So what am I doing today...
Going to get some tacos and pondering a script. <3
and stepping up to the ledge...
and BoldAF is my new best friend.

I'll chat with you later!
Tata rosy pink hairdos of afro gel and maraca tartar sauce sundaes.
Lick that shit with your fire hot tongue and spit out the seeds of futility.
Ain't nothing worth suffering for.

this could go on forever...

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.
 ____________________________________________________


So...

I got my passport today... like ordered it...
4-6 weeks I'll have it...
but where am I going, you ask?

Any 'where' I want.

I still probably need to get other people's passports too..
cause they might want to come with...
....
new plan...
I finished Killian's script.
It will either be a short or it will be a series...
I'll have to wait... and when I edit it, I'll decide..
well... Killian will decide. It's not my job.

So now I have nothing to write...
but good news... book 6 is handing me pieces.
I might get to write it sooner than expected.
and I'll need to see which screenplay is next.


___________________________________________

Winter is coming.
And it gets dark like early... and will get dark earlier once time changes
What shall I do with this time...o'mine

Right now, going to read a short book.
Then possibly read through Laser Racers....maybe
maybe watch a movie instead...
no plans tomorrow
so either way, both will get done.


I did meet a new guide? today... ? maybe?
They are the reason I have to go read that short book...
'cause of synchronicities, yo...
when they say one thing to you and then you see a post that links to a book...
...that says the same thing... weirdAF, but I love it.
sooo..... yeeeeaaahhhh.....
that was rather fast.... O_O
why do I always say that?
like I expect them to all be slow asses who can't do their jobs like humans...
I'm impressed... there was like ZERO transition time... crazy weird.
welcome to my life
I'll share what they said if I find called to do so...

I'm rather on a Silence retreat atm....
Where one does not freely give out words.
Level 52 list thing.
Starting like an hour or two ago....
Will continue for 7 days.

It really has more to do with the urge to say something,
but you know the wind casts aside those words when the earth is turning...
and its best to only say something when the sun is shining and the ground is moist...
so the seeds can take root...
Like saying stuff to those people on certain facebook groups...
or saying stuff to teenagers...
or saying stuff to yourself...
Right now... Silence is the name of the game.
And I'm playing this round, thank you.
________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________


     Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained;
and the restrainer, or Reason, usurps its place and governs the unwilling.
And being restrained it by degrees becomes passive, till it is only the shadow of desire.
                                                  ~The Marriage of Heaven and Hell - William Blake

A space... to be filled

And even though we ain't got money
I'm so in love with you honey
And everything will bring a chain of love
And in the mornin' when I rise
Bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright....

 

__________________________________________

 

"They will come to you when a certain cup needs filled...

... Just because they are having coffee today...

... or want a shot of whiskey...

  ... doesn't mean they don't love water when it matters."

 

^^^ that right there...

these are the words...

and I've waited many moons to hear them.

....

There's no real way to tell how things work...

between this world and that one...

but there's no greater connection than knowing they are one in the same.

The same in one.

And when you get a glimpse of yourself... that self that surrounds this body...

and you know what you are meant to be.

and don't even bother wondering why...

you just know..

and they ask... they ask that one question that tells you

that you are going on to the next level...

but also that you are leaving this one...

and you answer it the same as you always have...

"Do you accept?"

--- "Yes. I accept."

and you know your guide, no matter how short their time with you was...

will be letting you move forward without them as another walks you through the next phase.

and you'll miss him. This creature, this angel with the blue feathers that is timid about showing his face....

You'll miss The Weather. The Movement between spaces. Energy without form, but that which transforms...

and you'll always know that you are The Space. The Space that holds the All. The Seer.

I'm honored to have walked with you. Thank you.

...

and the council... or whoever they are... I saw them watching as the acceptance was taken...

checking in on me, as their usual routine when something shifts...

they are so intrigued... 

 

_______________________________________________

 

So tomorrow there's a passport fair at the post office.

I might show up there.

There's an art fair up the road, so I might show up there too.

Otherwise, I'll be dealing with #AIS

which stands for the term 'Ass In Seat'

because I have a screenplay to finish, yo.

assuming I don't finish it tonight. 

Because that's how I roll... (sometimes)

I just do the shit and get it done *PERIOD!

after I sufficiantly filled my need for procrastinating.

because the last minute is where I work best...

the only time I work actually, lol. 

I'm eager to get it done, cause there's another one right behind it!

And I need readers for 2 other scripts if you feel like reading a screenplay.

I would love some feedback.

Prefer someone with strong visual capabilities and likes animation movies.

Hit me up if you would like a go.

 

Victory is 74 pages. (kids - animation)

  in the short... about a mouse with creative skills and learning to believe in himself. 

      Jax and Stormy are my fav characters!!! <3  (Stormy needs her own show, imho)

Laser Racers is near 100 pages. (animation)

  about a girl joining a team of racers and being supported by them during her family's struggle. 

      Jet and Em and Tripp and oooohhhh I love everyone in this one!!! <3

The Fox Prince (animation) needs rehashed...off the market atm.

 

Killian will be done soon... (comedy/thriller - live action)

    Bad mouthed leprechaun and batty old lady, maybe a bit violent. It's Ted meets Scream parody thing... idk wtf it is. Not done yet... maybe a series... cause it might be too short for a feature length.

and Killian still doesn't know what he wants to do with his life.

 

Sky Thunder - coming soon. (Or just Thunder.... not sure yet.) Dragons!!! animation

Under - coming soon... animation - Think ocean and family that lives on a submarine.

(untitled) - animation coming soon... two fox brothers and the mountain 

(untitled) - live action.. coming soon... creatures in the night that play music, with the girl and the queen of the wild.

Mystery Machine - (might have to change the name), family comedy, live action - parents searching for their kids go on an adventure

(untitled) - drama - live action - in wilderness...people die, kids involved, man must become hero.

Aranea - live action, sci-fi thriller - sexy never tasted so good... ;) think alien spiders

....there are more.... but one of these will be next in line.... feel free to share your votes

I want to write one based on a story someone else wrote too. I will ask them.

 

____________________________________

 

 

So yeah, don't be a shy pigeon...

BoldAF is the new black.

Love you.

 

 

 

 

 

Sparkling sunshine....don't rain on my parade...

For your reading enjoyment...
assuming you have read the others....
http://www.lulu.com/shop/jennifer-coots/light-and-shadow/hardcover/product-23848515.html

I think it takes just as long to find a cover pic as writing it....
feels like it anyway...
Book 6 is in the oven.... so, no worries when you make it to the end and go WTF, Jennifer!?
 ... eh.... you might say that somewhere around page 50, actually...
anyway.... it is finished.... except for all the misspellings and crap I missed. *shrugs
Want a copy, it costs $30 through me (includes shipping)...or $35 (plus shipping) if you buy it direct from lulu.
I still accept donations and trades.... I ***LOVE*** surprises in the mail, yo. <3
Hit me up.


Killian, on page 12 of script.
Still planning to be done with it by the end of the month...
but hey, at least I started it! That's all I really needed.

Freaking earth energies are trying to dull my shine, but I'm playing along...
I can handle this shit.
I'm a fucking badass.... I just published another book, yo.
So kiss my ass, low vibing BS
 __________________________________________________________

I don't think I have much else to write about today...
If something comes along, I'll pass it on to you.

Bunches of odd and ends that really don't connect....
Feeling disconnected???
Wonder what feng shui things I need to notice for that?
Should be fun, since I'm not doing anything right now before I have to cook.
You know, maybe it's the full moon...
or other people in this household...
fucking empath problems 101.... :/
Can we just not...

I finished the Naruto costume...
I'm astonished with myself actually... I sewed a jacket, yo.
Yawn.... I'm going to do something else...
It took like over 2 hours to find a freaking cover pic and get the cover done and I'm over it.
Later peeps.

Master alchemist.

You spend 10,000 hours doing something...
what does that make you?...
it makes you a Master.

and that thing you do...
becomes natural...
second nature...
and it practically does itself.
Because you taught your body...
and it does the work for you...
like driving...
and pockets are no big deal.
and zippers are no big deal.
and ... everything else is no big deal...
except that the cat wants to help...
and you don't have blue thread....
or any white fabric...
because you don't do this work anymore...
but someone needs a costume...
and it's not even you...
 (I totally finished fixing mine a long time ago)
and someone else grew 6 inches...
and needs an alteration/update on last years costume
.... but I just sewed a new one... cause easier, yo...

and so the craft...
is easy and I'm not trying to kill anything...
but I still don't want to...
so in an effort to defeat resistance...
I'm starting that script today.
Cause I want to, for reals... procrastination just likes to date me...
and book 5 will be done being edited tonight.
_____________________________________________

Mojo of the week...
   I am fully supported.

I have a picture of cash money as my background on my phone...
like bundles of $10,000 stacks. I would guess over $1million.
Because reminders that we are given abundance freely are awesome.
Reminders that we are loved.
Seen. Heard. Cared for. Remembered. And complete.
And money feels good to me.
It reminds me that I can have it whenever I want.
No matter what anyone else thinks.
It reminds me that I can trust it.
That I can use it and it will never run out.
Because it can't and it won't.
No matter what material it comes in... it's mine whenever I want.
It does grow on trees. It does fall from the sky.
It does appear like magic. And it does revolve around me.
It is whatever I say it is.
It is given freely and fully.
It is received fully.

So my question for you... my dear padawans...

What do you say it is?

If you don't like what you say.... say something different.

_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________


I want to tell you a story.

Of creation.
Of the time before words spoke out across the darkness.
Before those ripples cast themselves outward and procured matter.
Before time and before light.

When energy sat in silence.
When it was motionless...
like still waters... and all it does is reflect a perfect mirror.
and the dark reflected dark reflected dark reflected dark...
oh but you see...
something changed... something moved... something became conscious.
and a thought rang out.
a thought. and the energy moved.
the energy moved and different wavelengths echoed...
it began to change colors... lights in the darkness... lights in the darkness...
and the energy moved and when it moved the matter clung to it like a magnet.
and the matter appeared to come alive.
with all this energy moving within it the matter charged, like static...
and it clung to itself... like static... and formations began to birth.
different energy frequencies produced different types of formations...
different molecules, different bonds... different elements...
and these products produced other products...
and the part of the energy carried out the thought... the consciousness...
and it too flowed into matter... and it became alive.
Those creatures moved upon the unmoving....
oh but we are all moving... even the rocks beneath your feet...
they are just slower.... they are just slower....
like when light is slower...and it appears dark...
and we are all still a reflection of the original darkness...
see see see...
You can go faster or slower...
because you are the thought, the consciousness...
You can choose...
Because you hold a piece of that original thought..
Make your own rules, or none at all.
Make magic if you want.
Make yourself amazing if you want.
You always had the power.
You still do.
Own that shit.

DivineAF

Let me tell you a story.

One where the protaganist (that's the hero/main character, yo)
is trapped...
and she must escape.
Escape from her captives.
But her captives live inside of her.
In her thoughts.
In her beliefs.
In her habits.
And they lay their eggs inside her subconscious.
And they antagonize her.... but she doesn't realize it... for years...
they contain her.
they hold her down.
they sway her to their wills.
they provide structure... a safe place to travel...
and they allow for only so much movement...
enough to make her believe she's free...
But no... this is a slaughterhouse...
where dreams bleed out onto the floor.
where the carcasses of possibilities hang from the line.
where more hope waits for it's turn to die in the holding pens.

And we murder ourselves each and every fucking day we stay in this place.
We step aside as fears cast over us... fears that aren't even real.
We worry and succumb to doubts... doubts that aren't even real.
We flail weakly on the floor with our throats cut... because we did this yesterday...
    and we know the outcome... so it must be safe, yes?
We keep entertaining and allowing bullshit into our attention.
We continue walking the same marked path... because it's the easiest route to take...
  of course it is... they want you to go that way...
And you have to stay... you have to stay...

until you choose not to

And the protagonist....
she becomes her own hero.

and at the end...
the slaughterhouse burns to the ground.
and everyone goes vegan.
the end.
 ____________________________________

(yeah, I watched Dominion today, can you tell?)
_____________________________________

One thing our protagonist needs though...
is the tools to help her on her journey.
Like knowledge.
The knowing that there are other options.
Other places to go
Other ways to live.
Knowing that you don't have to stay.
She will need to be braveAF.
because the handlers will be watching, ready to throw out a lasso...
or a electroshock rod her way.
She will need to know they will do everything they can to stop her...
And she will need to know that if she doesn't give up... they will.
all it takes it one choice.
One choice.
(no not prime choice select on the butcher block meat sampler)
Choose (chews?)

So chew on that for a bit.
Make your fucking choice to move.
Grow wild.
Go wild.
Free yourself.
Make sure to leave all the accelerant behind.
Leave all the dross.
All the bullshit.
All the fear, doubts, worry, excuses, shame, guilt, stress, structure...
and set it ablaze.
roast it....
You aren't meant for factory farms.
Or the slaughterhouse.
Or the structure.
You are meant for greatness.
total HERO quality.  

You don't have to brand yourself.
You don't have to dice yourself up.
You don't have to be packaged all nice and pretty.
You don't need any labels.
You don't need to be processed.

You are a creature of divinity.
Fucking own that shit.
 _________________________________________________


 I just read another blog post I did last month...
and I still am wondering where I come up with this shit.
I amaze myself.
Is that legal?
I figured I would get real for a bit, I rarely find the incentive to do so.
Like I don't have a subject matter handy... a prompt, if you will..
REAL
like if I asked you what you did last summer... what would you say?
I would say I don't remember... cause I don't.
But I went to Disney last October. Because I chose to...
and I totally slayed the other options by booking the trip and fucking doing it
no matter what... how's that for commitment.
If I asked you what worries you the most? What would you say?
I would say nothing, since I don't worry... I get fucking irritated that something is trying to get its grubby little fingers inside my awesome realm of amazingness.
I see it though... sitting there trying to call out stupid things that it hopes will trigger me...
If only it could... hmmm... it would be a gift, so I can remedy that area I didn't know needed attention.
It's frankly entertaining at this point...
If I asked you who you loved and why, what would you say?
And for that matter.... would you really say at all... or would you fill the page up with meaningless reasons why you couldn't possibly tell what you really felt.
Ah...see now, that's where the sweet spot is...
people hiding behind these things... not shyness.... but inability to give.
Inability to give.
for fear of judgement.
for fear of being misunderstood...

Fuck all that.
Being misunderstood is all the rage...cause no one asks the actual direct question... and they build their own perceptions around indirect questions hoping to form some sort of idea without it actually being real...  why? because fear of judgement for asking a direct question. Fear.
Yeah, I do that too sometimes... BoldAF works really well when you are high vibing on some remnants of a spirit journey with the angels and gods... but at other times, you fall into the trap of remembering the slaughterhouse and all your friends you used to have there... and you feel lost... so you just get trapped into an empathic state of 'Alas! Why the fuck is my brain taking me here!' and you just mirror other people and forget all that super saiyan power shit you still have but forget you have...
was that a rant...?
yeah... pretty sure...
ugh...
I'm going to go edit my book now... and have a snickers bar.

_________________________________ 

Long story short...
I give you permission to do as you will.

I'll give it to you... because I give it to myself.

So next time you need a hero...
Be one.

nothing

 Ah...the crisp cool air.
would be perfect if the sun was out.
then you could lay in the driveway and be warm and comfortable the whole day through.

Kinda bored today...
have things to do, but some I don't feel like doing..
some I will do, but later..
and one I'm still majorly keeping the record of procrastinating on it.
In other words...
the youngest needs clothes and we've yet to make it out to shop for them.
Will go tomorrow if we are up to it.
Book editing... I made it through chapter 10 last night...
hoping I can get 10 more chapters done tonight.
So should have book 5 published by the end of the month.
I still need to start on the screenplay.
It's sitting right here in beat card form, but I've yet to open Final Draft and begin.

I learned Ain't No Rest for the Wicked on the ukelele yesterday...
so that's progress in whatever form is usually acceptable in these times..
Need to sew costumes for the oldest. Awaiting measurements and 'want to' juice.

Really not much else occurring for this 3d realm of materialism.

Nothing of late from the other side either. Nothing new anyway.
Just sitting...

But for your astrological curiousities... Uranus is going retrograde in Aries on the 6th.
A.k.a - Voting day.  Expect some really angry democratic temper tantrums.
Should be a fun week on social media.... if you still hang out there
I only go for the screenwriting groups... magic happy groups... and Farm Heroes. ...
Been hanging out on that game way too much the past few days.
No wonder things are quiet... duh
___________________________________________


Nil

You don't have to invite me....

What are we going to do?
---
~"We're not going to do anything."
---
Okay.
So... we're gonna be something?"
---
~"No."
~"We're going to sit with what we are."
---
...okay...

_________________________________________

How can so much be packed into such small words?

DO - implies there's an action to take.
Like you have to physically procure matter.
Work for it.
Move it.

BE - it implies an active attention towards be-ing.
Like you have to notice it.
Try for it.
Be-come it.

Oh, but darling... that ^ is not how the heavens work...
.......
ARE - means it is already so.
Like you are already complete.
Have already completed it.
It is.

All you have to 'do' is know it.
All you have to 'be' is who you 'are'.... what...you are.

Ahhh...I see what you've done there...
.......
WHO - implies that we are separate from.
Like we are set apart.
Individuals without connection.
Alone.

But...
WHAT - means we are a substance.
Like we are a unified field.
Each part of the whole.
One.
_________________________________________________

Fearless.
Each step makes you move to a different version of fearlessness...
Like you thought you were brave...until something new comes up...
and you flow with it like a boss... and NOW you feel even more fearless.
BraveAF.
And the whole world hangs in the midst and you wonder what would happen
if it fell from the sky.
You'd still stand. But would it hurt? Would you feel the pain? The terror?
 Can we feel anything anymore?

So today a feeling came to me that I rarely get to tangle myself with.
Sometimes wondering if it was still buried within me...
and yes. yes it was.
It was dug up today. And I'm thankful for it.
These things trapped in the darkness... things I couldn't find on my own.
At least not until something reminded me of their presence.
That attention of mine can't search for what it has forgotten...
but today... you reminded me.
Perhaps totally on accident on your part...
But thank you, anyway... for showing me where I need healed.
Where I need loved.
I shall give it to her.
Because she is allowed to ask.
She is allowed to receive.
And I am also allowed to give.
I can choose to do it all.
And I do.

And one stupid thing... that one stupid thing... showed me.
What a blessing you are.
And you aren't able to receive even that from me...
Damn it. I miss you.
   ..... and as per yesterday's highlight...
""Did god loiter around in the dark for weeks before really just deciding to turn on the light?""
Fuck yes he does...
Dumbass.
But I assure you it was most likely years. Perhaps lifetimes.

And how long do you wait for your soul mate to step out of his darkness?
As long as it takes.
Because you don't realize who I really am, do you?
I didn't come here for them.
I didn't come here for any of them.
I came for you.
I came for you.
And I have angels that walk beside me as I walk with you through your hell.
And I walk unafraid, fearless, BraveAF.
Because nothing can touch a star.
Not even you.
Not even you.
__________________________________________

Whoo! that was fun!
I like writing! I am gonna get paid to do this shit!
I know that was kind of long for some of you...
but it's oozing with deep deep shit.
I don't mean to drown everyone, but it happens, yo.
Atlanteans do that.
Cause I'm supposedly one of them... ?? who knows.
It's fun to go with it though, why not, right?
There's only 18000 reasons why I'm playing along...
and it's fun to negotiate whether or not someone will think I'm being sarcastic, truthful, or lying
... and that is totally fascinating to me. I love people, they are so weird.

Anyway....
I successfully wasted the entire weekend!
I slept in.
I wasted time on facebook and Farm Heroes Saga.
I didn't work on my book or screenplay.
I didn't work in the yard.
But I laid in the driveway today and sat with what I am for hours.
I wrote a testimonial yesterday too on a course I took.
    (it was good writing there too)... I should totally write more...hmmm.
well... I'm writing my adventures!
and now I'm going to watch a movie.
then have some ice cream.
then go and douse myself with some love to heal that shit that got unearthed earlier...
and if I must, I will past-hack that too... cause it works for everything else, why not.
Just have to locate the seed.... the beginning, the original download....
then sleep...
and do that 1 whole order I have tomorrow... unless they send me MORE!
and today I made $40.

Namaste.

Crimson moon falling... falling...

It's been like a week.
8 days I think.
This page was left sitting open...another blank page in the universe.
Waiting.
waiting.
waiting for it's author to step onto the page.
to be created by the creator.
to echo in the silence.
to be reflected by the light.
to be.

what is your life waiting for?
where do you draw a blank?
what sits waiting to be filled?
to be fulfilled?
go do it.
just do it.
see it, hear it, become it.
you don't have to wait.
I give you permission to have it all now.
All of it.

The world shifted in case you missed it.
I saw it happen as the orange meshed together with purple in the sky.
I saw the voices quiet and the hushes fade into nothingness.
Peace for a moment as the skies beheld creation.
A new creation.
You should have seen it, heard it. I hope you did.
I hope you did.
All these miracles given freely...
just like that.
just like that.
__________________________________________


I still haven't started the editing process on my book.
But, I finished the outline and beat cards for script finally.
I will start the actual script soon...
I seem to be procrastinating on starting things...
although once it's started, it will get finished...
why is there so much indecision surrounding the beginning...
did god loiter around in the dark for weeks before really just deciding to turn on the light?
whatevs, yo.

so stuff and more stuff...
and less stuff, and some extra stuff.
Distraction has been hounding my heels of late.
Like boredom, but not actually being bored.
Like moving, but in no particular direction.
Like the sunset. Down and out.
But totally cool with that.
I know what this is though.
So much so that it's kinda boring.
I've done this before....so many times.
And I know know know already...
but I try to act like I don't.
cause who's watching the play anyway besides myself...
I must be entertaining enough for me to watch this play out again.
Am I expecting it to be different? Moreso? Better? Less?

Damn....
I'm being summoned.
And I even know why.
I know what they want to tell me already.
So I must honor the guides and go to them.
Class has started.

See ya.
________________________________________________

Understand me.
I'm not like an ordinary world.
I have my madness,
I live in another dimension
and I do not have time for things
that have no soul.


(((((((dreams... of late...

Japanese fireworks with banners of dragons and dogs of plastic...
And the star Sirius burnt out in a puff of smoke
The red moon tumbled from the sky...
and the people screamed... 
they screamed...
but I tried to tell them it was farce... that it was a new moon...
but that could not belay their terror...

and the house was set on fire, with the children still inside...
you people are insane... the woman wrought with rage who lit the torch..
and all I can do is try to rescue them all...))))))

You know it's poison....

Where did fall go?
Can't get any yard work done in this heat...
especially not with scars from garden warfare...
they may have won a battle...
but I will win the war...
after I stop itching...

So I finished my book last night.
31 chapters, plus the epilogue and prologue.
Now for the proofreading (and I know I'll miss some things)
and editing...
but I need to let it set for a few days before tackling that.

That means...
I get to converse with Storie about that Killian screenplay.
We'll see if we can arrange something to work with.
Killian is not still moping, but he's not moving forward yet either.
I want this thing done by the end of the month.
Assuming we can finish the outline.
Otherwise, he needs to step down and let someone else fill the spotlight.

I might also read through and revise my other 3 screenplays.
  (I really just want to read one... cause I miss the characters)
The first is shit. The more I think about it, the more I know I need to do an overhaul.
The second is still good. I need to analyze the dialogue.
The third...ahhh... I love it.

So anyway... beside being attacked with chemical warfare...
and it being too hot.
I finally managed to be patient enough to get my hand to strum the ukelele.
It's not perfect, but it started working correctly.
Huzzah!
Maybe I'll be able to play that piano song Katyushka miraculously....
fingers just don't want to work together on that fast part...

No work til Monday... and as of right now I have a whole 2 work orders...wtf.

_______________________________________________________

Nothing insightful for you today...
Look for it within yourself, yo.

I had a great 'whoa, that's deep' moment the other day... while having an imaginary conversation in my head. I surprised myself.
about how people keep looking for things outside of themselves...
and are in lack because they think it's not part of them...
and that's why they'll never find God...
and this just threw me down another rabbit hole... so that was fun...
what have you been imagining lately?
probably should start...
There's a wave coming to carry them to fruition...
Catch it.

 

 

Roots and the Wind

"What are you holding on to?" He asks.

???

"What is the strongest part of a tree?" He asks.

I know the answer to this... it's entirety.

"Does the wind move the entire tree?" He asks.

...and I'm thinking, here we go with the questions that are answers all over again...

and then it occurs to me...as it should...
we are inside out. outside in.

--- The roots are the soul....
unseen, unknown, yet they nourish the whole tree.

--- the trunk are our thoughts...
at times stubborn, harder to sway, harder to move.

--- the branches our emotions...
they sway often in regards to our situations/physical selves (leaves)

--- the leaves our physical bodies and our surroundings...
always changing, always moving with the wind. Feeding off experience.

- - - - - - - -
and everything is connected, and everything has purpose, things we already know, but now in a different way. We continue up the spiral.

it's the thoughts that are hardest to move....
which thoughts are you holding on to?
MOVE them!
 - - - - -

I would have expected to learn more about the wind from the first seraphim... but this guy... wow.

__________________________

Chapter 30.
There's got to be an end somewhere in sight, I just can't see it yet.
It doesn't help that I finished the last main scene and now am wondering around until I write the last few pages... so the filler connector in-between pages are a pain sometimes.
Then the editing process.... not that I ever delete and change things, but I do enhance things and add more where details fell short. This part is much faster for novels than for screenplays...
I'm excited to work on a screenplay though, 100 pages, give or take... versus this book which is already at 340+... so yeah...
I've been getting glimpses of other characters for Sky Thunder (unofficial title), so this is interesting.

____________________________


I had a dream last night... this couple was arguing...
the lady was trying to tend to the house, but was hiding a issue she was having (maybe an injury or problem?) from her husband as he was preparing to go to work. And he was just rambling on and not really connecting to her at all. A.k.a. not listening to what she was saying. And she wasn't really saying what she needed to say, but doing that beat around the bush thing.
so anyway I watched the odd miscommunication and downright lack of communication between them.
Then the lady mentioned about wanting to go to Disney. And I was like, "I love Disney. And I would totally go again." -- But she was caught up in that lack mindset of not having the means and stuff.
And I was like, "Look, if you're serious about wanting to go, then just book the trip. You can book over a year in advance. And I know it's scaryAF to just do it...but that's the whole point."
Woke up after that.

 And this dream teaches me.
 - That decisions do not need to be based on your thoughts.
For they are stubborn and makes things seem scary.
 - They do not need to be based on your feelings either.
For those sway and move depending on other circumstances.
 - They do not need to be based on your physical situations.
Those fuckers always change.
And what does it need to be BASED on... yeah...
Do you want it? The answer to that is all that is required.
Start with the roots before your thoughts plummet you into fear...
for the trunk of a tree sees both the light of the sun and the shadow...
  ...wow, that got deep super fast...
(there is so much more to delve into here, but I have yardwork to do... )


And then this ties into equivalent exchange. How we intend to manifest/alchemize/invoke/conjure certain things in our lives, but don't ever expect the need for having the energy to produce them..
HA!  if only.
Last thing I manifested was a Toyota. and it required MOVING the FUCKING TREE!
 (I guess this would still be relevant and similar to moving mountains for religious peeps)

Was it hard. No.
Was it scary. No.
Was it impossible.... only until I decided it wasn't and I was going to have it.
What did it require?
    making the decision.
   filling that decision with the emotion you want to feel regarding it
   visualizing what you will have like you already have it
   maybe 15 minutes of your day, every day
For how long? I can't remember, was it around 3 months?? Go read my blog posts and count from the time I said I will have it to the picture of it in my driveway.
Before that it was $40K, and once I was in the right place, it was within 3 months too.


My challenge... figuring out what I want... lol.
I want it all!

Be not afraid of becoming no thing....

Funny thing...
the title of yesterday's blog post...not the actual title, but the words I wrote on facebook while posting the link... and my belligerent attitude towards the lack of moving forward...
Today... while I sat for hours and laid in the driveway...for maybe another hour...
I went out searching...
and one of my angel guys was like "Why are you here?"
and I was like... "I'm lost. Where am I supposed to be going?!"
and he was like... "Keep moving forward."
and then so I was like... "Where is my next guide?"
and then poof... he appears...
Just like magic.
okay, not literately immediately after, but within that time frame of hours while I listened to music and wondered where the dead tree in the neighbors back yard went... and hoping the hawks and crows will have somewhere else to land where I can still see them...

 This guide... let me tell you about this dude...

----- "I am 'The Weather'.

I am the Movement Between Spaces.
Energy without form, but that which Transforms.
I carry you to places Unseen, Unknown, and Unspoken." -----

He gave his actual name too, but I can't tell you that.
He has blue feathers... but I can't see all of him yet.
that is normal for these guys... *shrugs

So... I am thankful to be accepting another leg of the journey.
I had a 15 minute or less skit of facebook, but I only go there to post this and visit one group... mainly to post gifs when a new member joins...cause I'm one of those people who could just say everything with gifs and be completely happy. So long as there are enough with Loki and Iron Man in them.

Oh...let me share something...

I am apparently a mix between Ginger Bite and Southern Peach. I'm positive I'm not white...
Adventures at Lowe's 101
Anyway, I like Ginger Bite. It's like Ginger Snap, but more dangerous.
and Southern Peach just proves I have a sweet side when I so choose to show it.
_________________________________

Chapter 29 for reals. And I'm sorry to everyone that I've included snippets of Book 6 in this one... and you won't get to know what happens for another year or two.
It seems I pump out a novel every other year.
And I'm afraid there's also a 95% chance this one is ending on a cliff hanger...
If you would like to donate in hopes that your contribution will entice me to start book 6 sooner rather than later.... feel free to send your donations to my home address or my paypal address.
I take cash, check, surprise cool stuff, and a nickelharpa.  <<< ------ !!!
I will also acknowledge anything with colors, things that are solid black, and flight miles.
Donations of manual labor, or extensive well-planned out itineraries to Ireland and Scotland will also be highly appreciated.
Or if you find the shirt I'm wearing on my facebook page. The dark blue one that says Lucky too tough to die, with the tiger. I need it in a medium. It's from Lucky Brand, like 8 years ago.
I don't care if it's used, so long as it's the same one and not destroyed.
Either way... I will be finishing the Killian screenplay as soon as this book is done.

Going where The Weather takes me I suppose.
I'll share when I find out!

So this is what one day does,
8 and below...
have to go...

Welcome to the new world.