Well I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
You know what's mad.....mad as in insane, not mad as in angry...but I'm kinda that too.
Mad...that the fact that it wasn't so bad that I'm not the only one having dreams about waves and destruction....but ever more so mad that other peoples' are basically really freaking exact to mine.....
Not to mention some things I've heard...that others heard...and things just so happen to 'pop up' out of nowhere that really add to the whole....'this is kinda cool' vibe that is lingering around.
And I'm not talking about random things that kinda fit....I'm talking about blatant, omg, how the hell, wtf, shit...that just appears.
I am kinda enjoying it, as this mindfuck stuff is kinda exciting.....but I have that 'I totally know whats next' vibe in the back of my mind....and that is the part where we say..."We need to get out of here NOW!" running from the awesome stuff that is no longer so awesome.
Love it. love it. love it. And I can't freakin' wait!!
Yes, I am mad....and it is a beautiful thing! :)
Now, the other kinda mad...as in angry....is the fact that there are some idiots in the business world who just don't 'get it' and these idiots like to decide that even though you need said items by Thursday for use on Saturday...that it would be okay to give you said items Friday instead....asshole!
People just don;t freaking get it!! aRgh! I would expect this crap from a stupid woman who thinks she's all that, but this guy is just like them...he must be gay...hmmm....maybe...or a prick.
Can people not do their jobs!? idiots.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
thriving and dying
Do you dream....that the world will know your name...so tell me your name.
And do you care...about all the little things, or anything at all.
I want to feel...all the chemicals inside, I wanna feel.
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive...to know I'm alive.
Do you believe....in the day that you were born....tell me do you believe.
And do you know...that everyday is the first... of the rest of your life.
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't want to know.
If I can't see the son, maybe I should go.
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon.
If everyone you know, never leaves too soon.
This is for one last day in the shadows. And to know a brothers love.
This is to all of us angels, and the rivers of our blood.
This is to all of us. To all of Us.
You can tell me all your thoughts about the stars that fill the moonlit skies.
And show me where you run to...when noone is left to take your side.
Don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't want to know.
Don't wake me, cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon.
Scary bank papers came in the mail today...yay!
I painted a helmet today too, but not my own, lol.
Sewing work will have to wait till after practice...and that's assuming I don't get caught up in something else.
Today I am in the midst of bitter happiness and ecstatic peace....and dramatic joy and elated calmness....does that make sense? Today is a good day...and tomorrow is even better...and the day after that will be even better than tomorrow...and so on.
Yesterday...I happened upon something remarkable and that thing that always gets lost and forgotten...was found again...and remembered. But this time....it's not going anywhere to get lost in the shadows again. Nope...can't ever happen again. *smiles randomly to myself!!
I need to get something made for dinner...gotta go.
And do you care...about all the little things, or anything at all.
I want to feel...all the chemicals inside, I wanna feel.
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive...to know I'm alive.
Do you believe....in the day that you were born....tell me do you believe.
And do you know...that everyday is the first... of the rest of your life.
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't want to know.
If I can't see the son, maybe I should go.
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon.
If everyone you know, never leaves too soon.
This is for one last day in the shadows. And to know a brothers love.
This is to all of us angels, and the rivers of our blood.
This is to all of us. To all of Us.
You can tell me all your thoughts about the stars that fill the moonlit skies.
And show me where you run to...when noone is left to take your side.
Don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't want to know.
Don't wake me, cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon.
Scary bank papers came in the mail today...yay!
I painted a helmet today too, but not my own, lol.
Sewing work will have to wait till after practice...and that's assuming I don't get caught up in something else.
Yesterday...I happened upon something remarkable and that thing that always gets lost and forgotten...was found again...and remembered. But this time....it's not going anywhere to get lost in the shadows again. Nope...can't ever happen again. *smiles randomly to myself!!
I need to get something made for dinner...gotta go.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
So hoist up the John-B sails....
Well, I had a weird disturbing dream last night...but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was that freaked me out... all I remember is that something happened to a ship (or large boat) and the investigators had brought back one piece of evidence before stopping the investigation. I had asked them why since that was stupid with only one piece of evidence...they said I would know once I saw what they found...so I went into the back room where they had the evidence..
They had this black material of some sort (maybe a sail or tarp??) that was ripped up...but they had it stretched out so you could read the word on it. (Now I remember that I knew what this cloth was, but in real life I have no idea whatsoever)...On the cloth was a word cut into it in big bold letters...and I remember seeing it in my dream and being in utter shock and disbelief at the word. I kept saying 'Oh my God, Oh my God!!' because I somehow knew what it meant...I even repeated the word numerous times in the dream to help myself remember it when I woke up!...BUT of course when I realized in the dream that it was a dream I had to bring the word back with me to remember, I woke up and couldn't for the life of me recall the word!!! ARGH!!!!
I do know for a fact that it started with the letter 'B' it wasn't too long of a word, as I read it easily in the dream (if you ever tried to read a long word in a dream you know what I mean!) it had an 'E' in it as well, possibly the second letter....and it also had the sounding of 'eee' in it....but every word I thought of so far doesn't quite fit...though the word Beach...seems really close..idk!
Then, I'm freaking out because of these weird confirmations that are hitting me today.....ummm...freaky...but fun..I suppose?....I feel like I'm at the part of the bad dreams where you keep thinking 'oh, this is kinda cool...' ....but I know what comes next...which is the 'We need to get out of here NOW!' shit.... yi yi yi!!
People....please...I'm going to go be a douche and tell you to get right with Jesus Christ. I'm really sorry to go all la la religious on you guys, as I'm rather against the whole idea of it, but I know most people put Jesus and religion into the same category..which is messed up anyway...but if there's anything in this existence that I would bet everything on...even life, even death, or every once of joy...it would be Him....and only Him.
I've met him, he's pretty awesome.... and I want you to meet him too. But you can't take your ideas/dogmas with you. Just know him, nothing more.
On a brighter note, the bank people are sending us the paper that starts with a 'D' (yes, can you believe I forgot the damn name of it too!!!) but it's a good thing :) lol
I think I am just gonna do my weirdo 'I have a paper and pen' writings and keep them to myself.... sorry. But if I say I'm freaking out...its cause something confirmed whatever I wrote....or something is just messing with me hard. Lol.
I need to go cook dinner, I'm hungry, but then I have to do my best to get 3 Alice in Wonderland dresses made before Friday! Cause I've got places to go and people to bash into this weekend!! ;)
"Become Mine, and We shall dance, nothing interceding."
They had this black material of some sort (maybe a sail or tarp??) that was ripped up...but they had it stretched out so you could read the word on it. (Now I remember that I knew what this cloth was, but in real life I have no idea whatsoever)...On the cloth was a word cut into it in big bold letters...and I remember seeing it in my dream and being in utter shock and disbelief at the word. I kept saying 'Oh my God, Oh my God!!' because I somehow knew what it meant...I even repeated the word numerous times in the dream to help myself remember it when I woke up!...BUT of course when I realized in the dream that it was a dream I had to bring the word back with me to remember, I woke up and couldn't for the life of me recall the word!!! ARGH!!!!
I do know for a fact that it started with the letter 'B' it wasn't too long of a word, as I read it easily in the dream (if you ever tried to read a long word in a dream you know what I mean!) it had an 'E' in it as well, possibly the second letter....and it also had the sounding of 'eee' in it....but every word I thought of so far doesn't quite fit...though the word Beach...seems really close..idk!
Then, I'm freaking out because of these weird confirmations that are hitting me today.....ummm...freaky...but fun..I suppose?....I feel like I'm at the part of the bad dreams where you keep thinking 'oh, this is kinda cool...' ....but I know what comes next...which is the 'We need to get out of here NOW!' shit.... yi yi yi!!
People....please...I'm going to go be a douche and tell you to get right with Jesus Christ. I'm really sorry to go all la la religious on you guys, as I'm rather against the whole idea of it, but I know most people put Jesus and religion into the same category..which is messed up anyway...but if there's anything in this existence that I would bet everything on...even life, even death, or every once of joy...it would be Him....and only Him.
I've met him, he's pretty awesome.... and I want you to meet him too. But you can't take your ideas/dogmas with you. Just know him, nothing more.
On a brighter note, the bank people are sending us the paper that starts with a 'D' (yes, can you believe I forgot the damn name of it too!!!) but it's a good thing :) lol
I think I am just gonna do my weirdo 'I have a paper and pen' writings and keep them to myself.... sorry. But if I say I'm freaking out...its cause something confirmed whatever I wrote....or something is just messing with me hard. Lol.
I need to go cook dinner, I'm hungry, but then I have to do my best to get 3 Alice in Wonderland dresses made before Friday! Cause I've got places to go and people to bash into this weekend!! ;)
"Become Mine, and We shall dance, nothing interceding."
Monday, March 26, 2012
spacing out.....
...I's did it...and I's iz kinda worried that this writing it down when it pops in my's head thing is for the birds...its just plain weirdy...yes I know its not a word, but messed up enough either way.
So ...last night, there I was thinking...'okay, I grabbed me a notebook and a pen...what to write (in actual handwriting! cause I didn't want to turn on my mini laptop cause then I'd be finishing those last two chapters instead..and I wanted no distractions...)
So I began....but please don't hate me for not knowing what half of this is...and don't ask questions, cause I don't know the answers...I just relay shit from mind to paper...
and its kinda long, so bear with me if you really want to read through all of it....and sorry, but I didn't ask 'when'....not very fond of that question anyhow and I already got that answer this morning which = 'a stone's throw'...make up your own ideas about what that means or any of it for that matter.
ready? I'm not, I have to type it all...ugh.
Deep in the abyss. It stirs. Coiling, writhing. The beast waiting to devour. Lurking beneath shadows. It follows the river, moving with the course. It follows the trail leading up to the kingdom, so it may feast on the flesh of man.
They see it not, for it is nothing but a soiled pain. One they've grown to accept. They dance with it as their souls die.
He is swift as he moves upward, taking no time to delay. His time is short and he shall not waste it. He comes and nothing shall deter his efforts. Let him feast. Let him have his way. Let him grow strong.
I watch and move. My light reflects like a thousand stars. The earth, filled with skies, filling everywhere. He moves in between them where the void is without light.
Lift up your ears, hear the song sung to the people to know that all will be well. When deceivement comes, lift up your ears. When shadows reign, lift up your ears. And when the earth dies around you, remember the song that has been sung for you. My melody never dies.
Swaying winds across the land. Troubled skies and churning seas. Take hold of the roots. Remember that I am He who commands them.
Buried in the distance is a sacred well. The waters therein give life. If they call to me, I will bring it up and the waters will overflow unto their lips. I keep my word.
Fire toucheth not the flesh that is claimed. Seareth not the hair that is numbered. Receiveth not the soul which is mine.
Head to the canyons, to the valleys, to the crevices and cracks that riddle your soul. Fill them up with me and your way will be clear and without struggle. Fill them.
Call out to me. Fear not your desolation or abandonment. I shall not leave you nor forsake you. Bring me with you and I shall bring you with me. Call out.
Your lost....your forgotten....do you think they are alone?
They need to know how to forgive. Be not the hammer, nor the spear, but one who bears all. Endure and forgive. Nothing is a greater sacrifice than the giving away of self.
Those who see me and those who speak my name. Their eyes will call out and their lips will tire. Listen to those who speak softly and whose faces look upon the light. Hear their heart. Listen...listen...it is not the words that they say, it is the words that they live. It does you no good to speak my words if you do not live them. My words are life, not just a language. Hear the truth and know it.
What I share with one, I share with all. Let it be known. Let it be heard. Let it be brought to life.
The Fire comes. Pouring from the skies, billowing out of the earth, erupting from the sea. It will rain down on every land and in every heart. None will escape its threshold and all will feel its heat.
Desolation will trouble those that thirst. Pain will plague those that mourn. But I will guard your soul unto the day that delivers you home. Death has no reign on my people, nor does fear, or strife, or suffering. Those who live belong to me. It is the dead who need awakened so that they too may live. Be patient. I do this for you all.
....weird, right?
Now what would be ever weirder/awesomer is if it turns out like my deviantart journal things which predicts the future!!! but of course you don't realize that until you go back and reread parts of it and see that it matches something after the fact....or worse, when you totally do not remember ever writing it at all, lol. fun times right there.....
and my future desk...still working on that, but the frog on it has me puzzled...bunch of frog things lately but they all are different things and I'm not sure...we shall see...hmmm
and the dream with the boy who had the calendar thing on his head.....my stupid guesswork which will be wrong, but I'm gonna post it anyway...hoover dam - april 14-15....then something maybe relating to california....water....lots of water. idk. ...but I think in that dream I remember seeing the ocean waves like horribly ravaging and turbulent...I think I was looking south at it (to my left)...which mean it would have to be on the west coast...right?...and it was dark...when I was looking at the ocean, but the kids were in school and it was daytime when they were told to get to the top floor of the building......idk, whatever...I never figure these things out unless it happens the day after.
Okay...so...maybe I'll take another writing moment again with the notebook and see how it goes...maybe something with more awesomeness in it next time I hope...that fire burning devouring beast stuff is getting annoying.
and it had better not be anything alienish at all!!! argh! No aliens allowed....unless its really cool. and they have an australian accent....like my uncle.
I better go iron the backings to those 20 Alice in Wonderland designs....sigh....I'll be back when I have something awesome to share., later gator.
So ...last night, there I was thinking...'okay, I grabbed me a notebook and a pen...what to write (in actual handwriting! cause I didn't want to turn on my mini laptop cause then I'd be finishing those last two chapters instead..and I wanted no distractions...)
So I began....but please don't hate me for not knowing what half of this is...and don't ask questions, cause I don't know the answers...I just relay shit from mind to paper...
and its kinda long, so bear with me if you really want to read through all of it....and sorry, but I didn't ask 'when'....not very fond of that question anyhow and I already got that answer this morning which = 'a stone's throw'...make up your own ideas about what that means or any of it for that matter.
ready? I'm not, I have to type it all...ugh.
Deep in the abyss. It stirs. Coiling, writhing. The beast waiting to devour. Lurking beneath shadows. It follows the river, moving with the course. It follows the trail leading up to the kingdom, so it may feast on the flesh of man.
They see it not, for it is nothing but a soiled pain. One they've grown to accept. They dance with it as their souls die.
He is swift as he moves upward, taking no time to delay. His time is short and he shall not waste it. He comes and nothing shall deter his efforts. Let him feast. Let him have his way. Let him grow strong.
I watch and move. My light reflects like a thousand stars. The earth, filled with skies, filling everywhere. He moves in between them where the void is without light.
Lift up your ears, hear the song sung to the people to know that all will be well. When deceivement comes, lift up your ears. When shadows reign, lift up your ears. And when the earth dies around you, remember the song that has been sung for you. My melody never dies.
Swaying winds across the land. Troubled skies and churning seas. Take hold of the roots. Remember that I am He who commands them.
Buried in the distance is a sacred well. The waters therein give life. If they call to me, I will bring it up and the waters will overflow unto their lips. I keep my word.
Fire toucheth not the flesh that is claimed. Seareth not the hair that is numbered. Receiveth not the soul which is mine.
Head to the canyons, to the valleys, to the crevices and cracks that riddle your soul. Fill them up with me and your way will be clear and without struggle. Fill them.
Call out to me. Fear not your desolation or abandonment. I shall not leave you nor forsake you. Bring me with you and I shall bring you with me. Call out.
Your lost....your forgotten....do you think they are alone?
They need to know how to forgive. Be not the hammer, nor the spear, but one who bears all. Endure and forgive. Nothing is a greater sacrifice than the giving away of self.
Those who see me and those who speak my name. Their eyes will call out and their lips will tire. Listen to those who speak softly and whose faces look upon the light. Hear their heart. Listen...listen...it is not the words that they say, it is the words that they live. It does you no good to speak my words if you do not live them. My words are life, not just a language. Hear the truth and know it.
What I share with one, I share with all. Let it be known. Let it be heard. Let it be brought to life.
The Fire comes. Pouring from the skies, billowing out of the earth, erupting from the sea. It will rain down on every land and in every heart. None will escape its threshold and all will feel its heat.
Desolation will trouble those that thirst. Pain will plague those that mourn. But I will guard your soul unto the day that delivers you home. Death has no reign on my people, nor does fear, or strife, or suffering. Those who live belong to me. It is the dead who need awakened so that they too may live. Be patient. I do this for you all.
....weird, right?
Now what would be ever weirder/awesomer is if it turns out like my deviantart journal things which predicts the future!!! but of course you don't realize that until you go back and reread parts of it and see that it matches something after the fact....or worse, when you totally do not remember ever writing it at all, lol. fun times right there.....
and my future desk...still working on that, but the frog on it has me puzzled...bunch of frog things lately but they all are different things and I'm not sure...we shall see...hmmm
and the dream with the boy who had the calendar thing on his head.....my stupid guesswork which will be wrong, but I'm gonna post it anyway...hoover dam - april 14-15....then something maybe relating to california....water....lots of water. idk. ...but I think in that dream I remember seeing the ocean waves like horribly ravaging and turbulent...I think I was looking south at it (to my left)...which mean it would have to be on the west coast...right?...and it was dark...when I was looking at the ocean, but the kids were in school and it was daytime when they were told to get to the top floor of the building......idk, whatever...I never figure these things out unless it happens the day after.
Okay...so...maybe I'll take another writing moment again with the notebook and see how it goes...maybe something with more awesomeness in it next time I hope...that fire burning devouring beast stuff is getting annoying.
and it had better not be anything alienish at all!!! argh! No aliens allowed....unless its really cool. and they have an australian accent....like my uncle.
I better go iron the backings to those 20 Alice in Wonderland designs....sigh....I'll be back when I have something awesome to share., later gator.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
The strangeness of dreams....
Another GREAT opportunity that will pass me by...all because I still do not have my awesome camera.... :(
I'm gonna cry!!!!!!!!
so there's these people on youtube I watch occasionally....well, today one just described a dream or vision they had that was kinda like mine...., and it's not the first time, there's been a few similarities on some others...but really now...this is all getting freaky....my dreams are supposed to freak me out, not yours. Yeesh!
I could probably add so much more stuff to my weirdness, but I often refrain from writing it down thinking 'I'll remember it'....and of course, that usually is never the case....I forget...and almost all the time and rather soon just after, I forget it...so writing it down 'later' would not work either....gonna have to carry a freaking notebook and can around so I can actually write down the shit that pops in my head.
Anyway...I'm sad...cause I can'ts go do a tutor session with an awesome prof. photographer (and by professional, I mean... actually could charge $500 a session cause her pics are that freaking awesome!!...not some moron with a camera!) ..so I'ms gonna go cry and whine....cause I needs $500 more dollars to buys me my camera...and a few weeks to learn to use it!
So anyway.....I'm gonna write more stuff down, so I don't forget..and share my creeping weirdness with my boring stupid blog, so its kinda like you get to know how fun it is to be me, and know how lucky you are to be you...sound good? :)
gonna go, I've got to go find something for dinners....and make some coffee...mmmmm :)
I'm gonna cry!!!!!!!!
so there's these people on youtube I watch occasionally....well, today one just described a dream or vision they had that was kinda like mine...., and it's not the first time, there's been a few similarities on some others...but really now...this is all getting freaky....my dreams are supposed to freak me out, not yours. Yeesh!
I could probably add so much more stuff to my weirdness, but I often refrain from writing it down thinking 'I'll remember it'....and of course, that usually is never the case....I forget...and almost all the time and rather soon just after, I forget it...so writing it down 'later' would not work either....gonna have to carry a freaking notebook and can around so I can actually write down the shit that pops in my head.
Anyway...I'm sad...cause I can'ts go do a tutor session with an awesome prof. photographer (and by professional, I mean... actually could charge $500 a session cause her pics are that freaking awesome!!...not some moron with a camera!) ..so I'ms gonna go cry and whine....cause I needs $500 more dollars to buys me my camera...and a few weeks to learn to use it!
So anyway.....I'm gonna write more stuff down, so I don't forget..and share my creeping weirdness with my boring stupid blog, so its kinda like you get to know how fun it is to be me, and know how lucky you are to be you...sound good? :)
gonna go, I've got to go find something for dinners....and make some coffee...mmmmm :)
Friday, March 23, 2012
......what a wonderful world.
It's storming outside, but luckily according to weather.com's radar map it will disappear from the radar screen in a few minutes......hmmm...and the future forecast says there will be nothing....luckily I don't trust the weather channel.
Today we watched The Smurfs movie.....and ummm....this reminds me of the weather channel....how it 'predicts things' and people actually trust in it so as to continue to recheck it again and again....
Well, Papa Smurf was checking his potion made 'visions' at the beginning of the movie...and through the whole thing he kept saying that his visions were never wrong.....ummm...ok...
This makes me kinda want to just never watch a supposed children's show ever again.....too much mind-numbing subconscious programming or something, wth...
I won;t even get into the part where they were at a bookstore and plainly showed a alchemy and mysticism book...
Okay, I'm not saying either of those are wrong, but people take them the wrong way. Most don;t even know what either of them are. I do....and if you want to keep an open mind and not bring the 'bad' stuff that people could do with them into it, there's nothing wrong with them...after all, guns are not bad, it is the person behind it who could choose to do something bad with it, kwim?
However in a children's movie, I don't deem it necessary to include them...or 'visions' that Papa Smurf held so dearly.
And one of the previews.....Santa at the north pole ...and his new sleigh was a freaking UFO alien thing!! WTF!
Where's the wholesome stuff? I don't want overly dramatic 'Christian' programming either, because that is on the other side of the pendulum and is also whacked!! (and highly 'fake') but why can't people just be REAL!!!
Why do they have to use 'cue words' to suck the brain dead people in? Who is trying to control you?! but more importantly WHY?!
Where's Batman when you need him?
Oh wait...he's getting prepared....I hope you are ready....and you have your oil lamps burning my friends....or your fancy bat signal! Whoo Hoo!!
Want to know what 'cue words' are that I complain about sometimes?
These are those words that certain people attune themselves to respond to...thinking it is a friend...a safe place...a protected abode...
Words like faith, rejoice, worship, praise, glory.....
I'm sorry, but the wolves love to use those words to lure the sheep from the field and into the forest....because some of them are so blind that they respond to anyone who wears a mask.....
This is why I don't like 'Christian' music....I'm not saying all of it, I'm saying most of it. To lull you to sleep and make you believe that the world is a nice lovely happy place that doesn't need saved.....bullshit. Open your eyes...the world is dying and is full of the dead. People are sleeping in their happy dreamland while others suffer in the real world....His people are 'amused' with themselves...and not that of their brothers who fall. Too afraid to get their hands dirty, too scared of the reality that so much has gone wrong since the fall from grace. So much that people hide their face from....You hide your face....and He will hide His face from you.
Come up and meet Him...face to face....and never look away. All things are possible.
Let's get off the subject, please. Getting frustrated here. Too many lazy dead people with masks, and subliminal messages on tv...and radio, and everything else.
We watch Full Metal Alchemist, which is by far one of the coolest shows! But why do smurfs have to browse through sorcery books? Really? Full Metal doesn't even flaunt alchemy like its a fix all to end all like they way Papa smurf does regarding his potions and spells...ugh.
And I saw a facebook post the other day about how someone was watching something really bad and sad...and just after it was followed by a happy Charmin commercial....
Makes me think society wants you to be able to turn off the 'feeling' switch...so as to keep you a zombie....dead....dead inside...and eventually dead outside...and you'll get that dead soul right along with it.
Can't have people going around being alive and thinking for themselves, now can we.
Renaissance Festival is coming soon!!! Can't wait! However I still haven't decided what to wear...argh! I wanna be something cool, but not sure yet...still flipping back and forth and through ideas and nothing has stuck yet...crud...I'm so gonna run out of time.
Hoping to hear from the bank people Monday....ack! Hate the waiting game!
And it's still thundering,....sounds like a roaring lion. Awesome!
And I finished that HUGE ass order I had to do...(a day late) but its done! Now I can work on the other 7 and try to get them done before next Friday....or at least most of them. EEP!
Then, if I feel broke, I'll reopen to orders on the first (assuming the other stuff is finished)...and I'll raise prices, cause I really just want a break! And I'll be hating on having more crap to do that steals my life away.... :(
What else...what else...hmmm....
Look what I found.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TwT69i1lU
Holy shit! I just figured out what to do for the Renn Fest!!!! All because I actually do look up links that people post on my wall....especially regarding photography....so I clicked on this ladies link she sent to my biz facebook page (cause her daughter used to do some modeling for me...and I checked out her sight.... HERE..which had this soneg playing that I linked above!! ( Not to mention an adorable picture, lol) So I had to go and download the song (yes for free! duh!)...but to show you what I was listening to while writing my stupid blog post I had to go to youtube to share it with you!..and well, on that video that I posted of the song...there's a pic of a guy with a sign that reads 'Free Hugs' and he had on a mask.....well, lo and behold, I have a mask like that....and it went to my jester costume I had made for Halloween 3 years ago (yes I still have it!) ...So anyway, I can make a new (non halloweenish) jester costume and have a sign that says 'Free Hugs' on it to hang around my neck..and I can wear my mask so no one knows who I am!!!! Not that they would anyways, but still!!! FUN!!! Now I'm excited!
See, I had thought of the jester idea before...but it wasn't awesome until I realized I could wear a sign that read 'Free Hugs'!!!! OMG!!!! ...the simplest things make me happy, they really do, lol.
And I haven't had any end of the world dreams this past week....so that's good, except, I kinda like them...the world can't end anyway until I get to see Breaking Dawn. Part II, and the next X-Men movie....
I think tidal waves, earthquakes, and nuclear meltdown wouldn't totally stop the film biz anyway, right? Gotta keep people numb somehow.
Oh oh oh!!! Batman mentioned something to me today to write about...but I think the idea was not to retell the whole thing, just to touch base, ya know...
You know those times when you think you are totally messing up and you've totally feel like you've done something to negate your standing...or position...and like you have to rework it all over again because you re-realized you suck and have failed yet again!? And you feel a little bit not as close as you used to feel.
Take heart...
"What makes you think you are further behind than when you began?"
....oooohhh...chills...
Love it when the answer comes in the form of a question....like you always knew the answer, but still needed to remember it....yeah....that's all we all need...to just remember...remember what it was like when we were beheld by Him, before He placed us here....never lost my friends, only rediscovered.
Apart only to have the amazing journey to rediscover Him.
All is greatness.....just have to see it that way.
And well....hellfire and brimstone when it all gets forgotten once again....*sigh.
that's all folks....the weekend is here and we should all cherish it....
Today we watched The Smurfs movie.....and ummm....this reminds me of the weather channel....how it 'predicts things' and people actually trust in it so as to continue to recheck it again and again....
Well, Papa Smurf was checking his potion made 'visions' at the beginning of the movie...and through the whole thing he kept saying that his visions were never wrong.....ummm...ok...
This makes me kinda want to just never watch a supposed children's show ever again.....too much mind-numbing subconscious programming or something, wth...
I won;t even get into the part where they were at a bookstore and plainly showed a alchemy and mysticism book...
Okay, I'm not saying either of those are wrong, but people take them the wrong way. Most don;t even know what either of them are. I do....and if you want to keep an open mind and not bring the 'bad' stuff that people could do with them into it, there's nothing wrong with them...after all, guns are not bad, it is the person behind it who could choose to do something bad with it, kwim?
However in a children's movie, I don't deem it necessary to include them...or 'visions' that Papa Smurf held so dearly.
And one of the previews.....Santa at the north pole ...and his new sleigh was a freaking UFO alien thing!! WTF!
Where's the wholesome stuff? I don't want overly dramatic 'Christian' programming either, because that is on the other side of the pendulum and is also whacked!! (and highly 'fake') but why can't people just be REAL!!!
Why do they have to use 'cue words' to suck the brain dead people in? Who is trying to control you?! but more importantly WHY?!
Where's Batman when you need him?
Oh wait...he's getting prepared....I hope you are ready....and you have your oil lamps burning my friends....or your fancy bat signal! Whoo Hoo!!
Want to know what 'cue words' are that I complain about sometimes?
These are those words that certain people attune themselves to respond to...thinking it is a friend...a safe place...a protected abode...
Words like faith, rejoice, worship, praise, glory.....
I'm sorry, but the wolves love to use those words to lure the sheep from the field and into the forest....because some of them are so blind that they respond to anyone who wears a mask.....
This is why I don't like 'Christian' music....I'm not saying all of it, I'm saying most of it. To lull you to sleep and make you believe that the world is a nice lovely happy place that doesn't need saved.....bullshit. Open your eyes...the world is dying and is full of the dead. People are sleeping in their happy dreamland while others suffer in the real world....His people are 'amused' with themselves...and not that of their brothers who fall. Too afraid to get their hands dirty, too scared of the reality that so much has gone wrong since the fall from grace. So much that people hide their face from....You hide your face....and He will hide His face from you.
Come up and meet Him...face to face....and never look away. All things are possible.
Let's get off the subject, please. Getting frustrated here. Too many lazy dead people with masks, and subliminal messages on tv...and radio, and everything else.
We watch Full Metal Alchemist, which is by far one of the coolest shows! But why do smurfs have to browse through sorcery books? Really? Full Metal doesn't even flaunt alchemy like its a fix all to end all like they way Papa smurf does regarding his potions and spells...ugh.
And I saw a facebook post the other day about how someone was watching something really bad and sad...and just after it was followed by a happy Charmin commercial....
Makes me think society wants you to be able to turn off the 'feeling' switch...so as to keep you a zombie....dead....dead inside...and eventually dead outside...and you'll get that dead soul right along with it.
Can't have people going around being alive and thinking for themselves, now can we.
Renaissance Festival is coming soon!!! Can't wait! However I still haven't decided what to wear...argh! I wanna be something cool, but not sure yet...still flipping back and forth and through ideas and nothing has stuck yet...crud...I'm so gonna run out of time.
Hoping to hear from the bank people Monday....ack! Hate the waiting game!
And it's still thundering,....sounds like a roaring lion. Awesome!
And I finished that HUGE ass order I had to do...(a day late) but its done! Now I can work on the other 7 and try to get them done before next Friday....or at least most of them. EEP!
Then, if I feel broke, I'll reopen to orders on the first (assuming the other stuff is finished)...and I'll raise prices, cause I really just want a break! And I'll be hating on having more crap to do that steals my life away.... :(
What else...what else...hmmm....
Look what I found.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TwT69i1lU
Holy shit! I just figured out what to do for the Renn Fest!!!! All because I actually do look up links that people post on my wall....especially regarding photography....so I clicked on this ladies link she sent to my biz facebook page (cause her daughter used to do some modeling for me...and I checked out her sight.... HERE..which had this soneg playing that I linked above!! ( Not to mention an adorable picture, lol) So I had to go and download the song (yes for free! duh!)...but to show you what I was listening to while writing my stupid blog post I had to go to youtube to share it with you!..and well, on that video that I posted of the song...there's a pic of a guy with a sign that reads 'Free Hugs' and he had on a mask.....well, lo and behold, I have a mask like that....and it went to my jester costume I had made for Halloween 3 years ago (yes I still have it!) ...So anyway, I can make a new (non halloweenish) jester costume and have a sign that says 'Free Hugs' on it to hang around my neck..and I can wear my mask so no one knows who I am!!!! Not that they would anyways, but still!!! FUN!!! Now I'm excited!
See, I had thought of the jester idea before...but it wasn't awesome until I realized I could wear a sign that read 'Free Hugs'!!!! OMG!!!! ...the simplest things make me happy, they really do, lol.
And I haven't had any end of the world dreams this past week....so that's good, except, I kinda like them...the world can't end anyway until I get to see Breaking Dawn. Part II, and the next X-Men movie....
I think tidal waves, earthquakes, and nuclear meltdown wouldn't totally stop the film biz anyway, right? Gotta keep people numb somehow.
Oh oh oh!!! Batman mentioned something to me today to write about...but I think the idea was not to retell the whole thing, just to touch base, ya know...
You know those times when you think you are totally messing up and you've totally feel like you've done something to negate your standing...or position...and like you have to rework it all over again because you re-realized you suck and have failed yet again!? And you feel a little bit not as close as you used to feel.
Take heart...
"What makes you think you are further behind than when you began?"
....oooohhh...chills...
Love it when the answer comes in the form of a question....like you always knew the answer, but still needed to remember it....yeah....that's all we all need...to just remember...remember what it was like when we were beheld by Him, before He placed us here....never lost my friends, only rediscovered.
Apart only to have the amazing journey to rediscover Him.
All is greatness.....just have to see it that way.
And well....hellfire and brimstone when it all gets forgotten once again....*sigh.
that's all folks....the weekend is here and we should all cherish it....
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
When you give only half...you get only half....
Today has been busy...and even though it is past 9pm and it is dark outside...there's still a long list of things that must be completed before I get to go to bed.
Not sure how well it will go, but it is serious crunch time...so this post will be short
and if I am awol for the rest of the week ...this is why....
Sorry, but work responsibilities have to come first, especially when I already spent the money....and I have 3 sets that need done before tomorrow night, and another 5 orders waiting patiently right behind those.....ack! I'm gonna die under a load of ruffles.....how embarrassing.
Not to mention the iced tea and oatmeal cookies I have to make sometime tonight as well (for my hubby, cause, I loves him bunches)...and the forms I need to gather up for a visit with the bank people. (Oh, please God, let the bank people love us and our fancy (aka, killed puppies to keep it so damn nice) credit rating!)
And hopefully we can manage a quick worksheet tornado party tomorrow for school.
And I don;t get to go skate, so I guess more time is a good thing.
If you want something life altering to grace you from this post, I'm afraid there's only 1 thing that can do that...and He's just waiting patiently....but the doors are closing...so be sure to give Him a call and say hello once in a while or more often than usual...
....this week (and the next few as well) should be interesting.....that awareness that you can feel in the air...the thundering of the earth....the odd sense of clinging to those you love more so than usual.....
Of course, I think some of us have already noticed that there's only a small handful that even can feel anything anymore....it's a shame really....
Smiling only a half smile...Loving only partly...Singing quietly in the shadows...accepting only the parts that agree with you and not the rest....you are all going to die....
Does nothing deserve all of you? No one? What are you afraid of losing?
Screw that...give everything...always...to everyone.
It was a sunset, with the orange rays of dusk shimmering over the city. I do not know where we were, but it was a beautiful city, much like the holy ones in the east. The buildings made of solid stone, an onion topped roof of gold in the distance.
Jesus was there with me and another man I didn't know. We stood along a small bridge high in the upper city that connected two separate buildings. A railing was along the edges of this bridge, though there was a place where the rail opened like a gate. Opened out to nothing but a massive drop off to the ground below.
There was no hesitation as I walked out onto the empty air. I opened the gate and let my foot step onto the sky. I paced out onto nothing, stopped, and returned back to the bridge.
Then came the man who stood with us. His turn arrived, though He backed away, defeated by the trial that was set before him. I tried to speak to him, assuring him that all would be well. He refused.
Moments later the Lord Jesus walked out onto the sky. I followed Him back out onto the air. He was a few paces ahead of me, where He stopped. I continued to walk up behind Him.
Before I reached Him, my foot gave way and I took a tremendous step downward. A very real fear overcame me and I reached up to grab hold of Him. I was afraid I was going to fall out of the sky.
Looking up, half terrified from my apparent lack of faith. I looked up to Him, realizing He was all the way turned around and had hold of me. Already prepared for my mishap.
"I'm sorry." I explained. "I got scared."
His hazel eyes looked down into me. A sacred stare. They glistened with power and love.
He whispered quietly. "I know."
Should there be a way to know everything this meant is impossible. Still today I learn something new that had always been there.
Not sure how well it will go, but it is serious crunch time...so this post will be short
and if I am awol for the rest of the week ...this is why....
Sorry, but work responsibilities have to come first, especially when I already spent the money....and I have 3 sets that need done before tomorrow night, and another 5 orders waiting patiently right behind those.....ack! I'm gonna die under a load of ruffles.....how embarrassing.
Not to mention the iced tea and oatmeal cookies I have to make sometime tonight as well (for my hubby, cause, I loves him bunches)...and the forms I need to gather up for a visit with the bank people. (Oh, please God, let the bank people love us and our fancy (aka, killed puppies to keep it so damn nice) credit rating!)
And hopefully we can manage a quick worksheet tornado party tomorrow for school.
And I don;t get to go skate, so I guess more time is a good thing.
If you want something life altering to grace you from this post, I'm afraid there's only 1 thing that can do that...and He's just waiting patiently....but the doors are closing...so be sure to give Him a call and say hello once in a while or more often than usual...
....this week (and the next few as well) should be interesting.....that awareness that you can feel in the air...the thundering of the earth....the odd sense of clinging to those you love more so than usual.....
Of course, I think some of us have already noticed that there's only a small handful that even can feel anything anymore....it's a shame really....
Smiling only a half smile...Loving only partly...Singing quietly in the shadows...accepting only the parts that agree with you and not the rest....you are all going to die....
Does nothing deserve all of you? No one? What are you afraid of losing?
Screw that...give everything...always...to everyone.
It was a sunset, with the orange rays of dusk shimmering over the city. I do not know where we were, but it was a beautiful city, much like the holy ones in the east. The buildings made of solid stone, an onion topped roof of gold in the distance.
Jesus was there with me and another man I didn't know. We stood along a small bridge high in the upper city that connected two separate buildings. A railing was along the edges of this bridge, though there was a place where the rail opened like a gate. Opened out to nothing but a massive drop off to the ground below.
There was no hesitation as I walked out onto the empty air. I opened the gate and let my foot step onto the sky. I paced out onto nothing, stopped, and returned back to the bridge.
Then came the man who stood with us. His turn arrived, though He backed away, defeated by the trial that was set before him. I tried to speak to him, assuring him that all would be well. He refused.
Moments later the Lord Jesus walked out onto the sky. I followed Him back out onto the air. He was a few paces ahead of me, where He stopped. I continued to walk up behind Him.
Before I reached Him, my foot gave way and I took a tremendous step downward. A very real fear overcame me and I reached up to grab hold of Him. I was afraid I was going to fall out of the sky.
Looking up, half terrified from my apparent lack of faith. I looked up to Him, realizing He was all the way turned around and had hold of me. Already prepared for my mishap.
"I'm sorry." I explained. "I got scared."
His hazel eyes looked down into me. A sacred stare. They glistened with power and love.
He whispered quietly. "I know."
Should there be a way to know everything this meant is impossible. Still today I learn something new that had always been there.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The Caped Crusader
Yawn...just delaying the inevitable by stopping by to write a bunch of nothing, whilst hoping something awesome pops into my head.
Like Batman!
Now...batman, he's a hero...and if I absolutely had to choose a 'superhero' comic book character I would choose Batman...although he's not my 'real' hero.
Why Bruce? you ask...well to put it simply, he is real. Like, not dramatically faked over with fake goody goody have to support the law and moral values bullshit that Superman does or the I'm a teenager who has responsibilities like Spider man, or stupid I have a temper crap like the Hulk, or anyone else (although I adore Wolverine from x-men)....see the thing with Batman, is he is real ...as in he feels..and he gets angry..and he uses logic and awesome tools to get by and doesn't have to be transmuted into another being to be awesome...He is already that way.
Like we are already that way....it's just how we choose to use our own tools that dictates whether we will be the villain or the hero....or a bunch of nothing. Sure, we'll mess up and go overboard sometimes (like Batman), but the option to actually do the best we possibly can is always there for us to take hold of....or deny.
There is no wrong choice...because if there was only one right choice...we would be slaves to perfection....our learning from choices good and bad helps make us perfect through refinement and experience...something we all share if only we choose.
Now there was one Superman cartoon movie where Superman wasn't such a stuck up prick...and that one I liked, because he was real....but it might have been the same one where Lex Luther had gotten ahold of Superman's powers and he was fighting with Superman until he realized that anything was possible....and that's when he sank to his knees and gave up...he was saying how he could make the world a better place just because he was able to see that everything was connected.....and Superman had walked up to him and said "You could have done that a long time ago."......and I think this could mean something for all of us.....
It's only our choices that either move us forward, drag us behind, or let us remain still....our choices that decide whether we shield our eyes to what needs changed, lies we tell ourselves...like it can't be done...or a simple step forward and out of your bubble that begins a journey to prove that it will come to pass.
It's a shame that we only make plans that we can accomplish ourselves...when impossible ones are ours for the taking.
Problem is no one believes anything above what they have done, or what they have seen....and this is the fall of mankind. failure....and to get to the point, we've failed to accept our greatness, our throne, our kingdom, our responsibilities, even our own dreams. We toss them out as if they were nothing but a dream, nothing but a wish that could never come true....
I ask you to hold tight...I ask you to never let go...I ask you to stand...and with hearts pounding, with fire in your eyes, with your sword gripped tightly, with all that is true upon you, and with every angel standing beside you...I ask you to claim your dream, no matter what it may be.
Nothing needs to be said, nothing needs to be slayed...it is only your courage of standing and walking forward that will ever allow it to be....He walks beside you...and if He is for you, who can be against?
yeah, Batman is pretty intimidating ;)
Like Batman!
Now...batman, he's a hero...and if I absolutely had to choose a 'superhero' comic book character I would choose Batman...although he's not my 'real' hero.
Why Bruce? you ask...well to put it simply, he is real. Like, not dramatically faked over with fake goody goody have to support the law and moral values bullshit that Superman does or the I'm a teenager who has responsibilities like Spider man, or stupid I have a temper crap like the Hulk, or anyone else (although I adore Wolverine from x-men)....see the thing with Batman, is he is real ...as in he feels..and he gets angry..and he uses logic and awesome tools to get by and doesn't have to be transmuted into another being to be awesome...He is already that way.
Like we are already that way....it's just how we choose to use our own tools that dictates whether we will be the villain or the hero....or a bunch of nothing. Sure, we'll mess up and go overboard sometimes (like Batman), but the option to actually do the best we possibly can is always there for us to take hold of....or deny.
There is no wrong choice...because if there was only one right choice...we would be slaves to perfection....our learning from choices good and bad helps make us perfect through refinement and experience...something we all share if only we choose.
Now there was one Superman cartoon movie where Superman wasn't such a stuck up prick...and that one I liked, because he was real....but it might have been the same one where Lex Luther had gotten ahold of Superman's powers and he was fighting with Superman until he realized that anything was possible....and that's when he sank to his knees and gave up...he was saying how he could make the world a better place just because he was able to see that everything was connected.....and Superman had walked up to him and said "You could have done that a long time ago."......and I think this could mean something for all of us.....
It's only our choices that either move us forward, drag us behind, or let us remain still....our choices that decide whether we shield our eyes to what needs changed, lies we tell ourselves...like it can't be done...or a simple step forward and out of your bubble that begins a journey to prove that it will come to pass.
It's a shame that we only make plans that we can accomplish ourselves...when impossible ones are ours for the taking.
Problem is no one believes anything above what they have done, or what they have seen....and this is the fall of mankind. failure....and to get to the point, we've failed to accept our greatness, our throne, our kingdom, our responsibilities, even our own dreams. We toss them out as if they were nothing but a dream, nothing but a wish that could never come true....
I ask you to hold tight...I ask you to never let go...I ask you to stand...and with hearts pounding, with fire in your eyes, with your sword gripped tightly, with all that is true upon you, and with every angel standing beside you...I ask you to claim your dream, no matter what it may be.
Nothing needs to be said, nothing needs to be slayed...it is only your courage of standing and walking forward that will ever allow it to be....He walks beside you...and if He is for you, who can be against?
yeah, Batman is pretty intimidating ;)
Friday, March 16, 2012
Not quite a tantrum...but getting there.
I really try not to post two blog posts in a single day...since you might miss one duh!!! Like my last one which include another freaking end of the world dream...ugh!
However...I was sewing and while sewing I often think of photography..yes, it does drive me crazy.........and I came to a rather big headed decision...one that reminds me of Eminem's part in the beginning of the song 'Sky full of lighters'....yeah...that one. "Excuse me if my head is too big for this building...."
And I'm not sure what people who lack every aspect of talent are thinking when they can go parade around with a fucking camera and claim they are a 'photographer' and actually take people's money and provide nothing but crap pictures....
You think that is what a real talented photographer does...take pictures...HELL NO!!! Well, they might if you are telling them what and how to take the pictures...because then you are demeaning their real talent...however if you look around and compare them to one another, you will realize which ones can do their job and provide more than just a 'picture'....but also include things like feeling and energy and passion among other things into their photographs.
I'm am sick and tired of seeing these washed out photos and stupid posed crap in front of a backdrop that does nothing but make the person(s) look like a fool for paying money to take a picture of them... or worse yet, makes an object out of your children when they put crap (props) in the picture that do nothing for the person themselves, but put on a facade of 'cute'...
ARGH! I just got done 'unliking' a few facebook photographers that kept constantly doing things such as that.....however the other ones that are incredible I still LOVE, and will keep them around for quite awhile....
And damn it to hell if I see a photographer post pictures of something that looks so unedited or overedited it takes away from whoever is supposed to be in the pic....this drives me batty!!!!
So ...other than the promise to make sure every photographer within 50 miles of me will get nothing but my leftover customers who were too lazy to reserve a session from me before I was already overbooked.....I will also rock out all yall's worlds...and I'll top out that biz and take it as far as it can go.....before dropping it to start my retirement job.....and you will miss me.
Ugh! I'm so peeved that people do not recognize quality over convenience!!!!
I need $500 more bucks and I'm going to go buy me a fucking decent camera!!!
And I have to admit...girls take better pics than guys if it involves people...however, guys take better landscape photos....why is this???
And NO I don;t like taking pics of shit landscaping without someone or something in it....except maybe the moon...
and I didn't edit it...so hate all you want that it is not bright or spooky enough. I'll get to it later, lol.
So today I laid down the linoleum in the bathroom. All by myself....and tomorrow we might get to laying down the floor in the living room....probably, not sure what else we are doing yet...hope to go hiking or something outside assuming it is not going to rain.
And I probably have to go to hobby lobby....argh!!!! I hate buying fabric....damn it!...I could be saving that money.
A Lion roars in the Darkness, only He holds the Key.....A Light to free me from my burden and grant me Life eternally....
You know what...go take 'pictures' all you want....I will not...no...I'm going to pause a moment and in that moment I will capture a song...and a laugh...and deep inside, reveal something you could never have seen in a picture...but could only feel through a memory.
Gonna go paint Pinocchio's face now....gonna go work and hopefully prevent from doing something rash afterwards....I haven't even started on my tantrum...as I'm biting my lip...hubby gets home earlier tonight, so I can share my plight with him. Yay for hubby's who endearingly put up with overly ADHD wives with too many ideas and not enough backup.
However...I was sewing and while sewing I often think of photography..yes, it does drive me crazy.........and I came to a rather big headed decision...one that reminds me of Eminem's part in the beginning of the song 'Sky full of lighters'....yeah...that one. "Excuse me if my head is too big for this building...."
And I'm not sure what people who lack every aspect of talent are thinking when they can go parade around with a fucking camera and claim they are a 'photographer' and actually take people's money and provide nothing but crap pictures....
You think that is what a real talented photographer does...take pictures...HELL NO!!! Well, they might if you are telling them what and how to take the pictures...because then you are demeaning their real talent...however if you look around and compare them to one another, you will realize which ones can do their job and provide more than just a 'picture'....but also include things like feeling and energy and passion among other things into their photographs.
I'm am sick and tired of seeing these washed out photos and stupid posed crap in front of a backdrop that does nothing but make the person(s) look like a fool for paying money to take a picture of them... or worse yet, makes an object out of your children when they put crap (props) in the picture that do nothing for the person themselves, but put on a facade of 'cute'...
ARGH! I just got done 'unliking' a few facebook photographers that kept constantly doing things such as that.....however the other ones that are incredible I still LOVE, and will keep them around for quite awhile....
And damn it to hell if I see a photographer post pictures of something that looks so unedited or overedited it takes away from whoever is supposed to be in the pic....this drives me batty!!!!
So ...other than the promise to make sure every photographer within 50 miles of me will get nothing but my leftover customers who were too lazy to reserve a session from me before I was already overbooked.....I will also rock out all yall's worlds...and I'll top out that biz and take it as far as it can go.....before dropping it to start my retirement job.....and you will miss me.
Ugh! I'm so peeved that people do not recognize quality over convenience!!!!
I need $500 more bucks and I'm going to go buy me a fucking decent camera!!!
And I have to admit...girls take better pics than guys if it involves people...however, guys take better landscape photos....why is this???
And NO I don;t like taking pics of shit landscaping without someone or something in it....except maybe the moon...
and I didn't edit it...so hate all you want that it is not bright or spooky enough. I'll get to it later, lol.
So today I laid down the linoleum in the bathroom. All by myself....and tomorrow we might get to laying down the floor in the living room....probably, not sure what else we are doing yet...hope to go hiking or something outside assuming it is not going to rain.
And I probably have to go to hobby lobby....argh!!!! I hate buying fabric....damn it!...I could be saving that money.
A Lion roars in the Darkness, only He holds the Key.....A Light to free me from my burden and grant me Life eternally....
You know what...go take 'pictures' all you want....I will not...no...I'm going to pause a moment and in that moment I will capture a song...and a laugh...and deep inside, reveal something you could never have seen in a picture...but could only feel through a memory.
Gonna go paint Pinocchio's face now....gonna go work and hopefully prevent from doing something rash afterwards....I haven't even started on my tantrum...as I'm biting my lip...hubby gets home earlier tonight, so I can share my plight with him. Yay for hubby's who endearingly put up with overly ADHD wives with too many ideas and not enough backup.
Do you know how to surf?
AHHHHHH!!!!
I just had another messed up dream!
This time it was a huge wave from the ocean....argh!
So in my dream...I either was or was watching a boy (it flipped back and forth from first person to second person points of view)...he maybe about 12 or so...he was at school, throwing football with the other kids. Then standing from a viewpoint on top of a tall building we could see waves from the ocean rising higher and higher, and we all saw one massive one coming inland. The school raced to get everyone to the upper floors of the building...and we all made it up safely even though we were on the top floor and still had gotten wet, we didn't drown though....
The city/town was destroyed and although there were survivors, many had moved away from the area. I had stayed.
Then kinda like further in the future..maybe a few months or a year or 2....another wave had come...this time it was much larger and on the top floor of the building I was pressed up against the ceiling with only 3 or so inches of an air pocket to breath from. I had made my way out a window and climbed on top of the building...there was a lady up there as well and we sat together in disbelief....we were the only survivors around. The building was like floating around the city (big city with taller buildings than ours)
I remember that I (the boy) had showed the lady his head, that was shaved around the bottom of his hairline and it had something that looked like a calender of events...
In the center of the boys forehead was 2 squares that each had a number 0 and the squiggily lines that represented water under the zeros. Then he turned his head to show what else had happened (can't remember what else I saw, but it was different from the water lines!!) but the boy turned his head from his forehead..and all the way around past the back of his head (similar to the 8 o'clock mark on a clock) I couldn't see if it stopped there as he didn't turn his head all the way around, but I knew he would have to add the next square of another wave....??
Just after we were on the building, we had somehow gotten into the water...and a mermaid or something non-human was gripping my hand and pulling me up from under the water towards where I could see the sunlight at the surface..... I woke up.
To make matters more unsettling...there was a youtube video posted this morning from one of the people I subscribe to, that directly implied big waves and water and something to do with money.....
It was just freaky.
Now I'm thinking maybe the boys markings around his head were a calendar of events....the first wave began the calendar at 0, and the other 0 next to it was the end....
Now the boy did appear older than when the first wave had hit, but not by 7 years (if you think the 7 years of tribulation stuff)...maybe 3.5 at the most....
Well, just thought I'd share since today will be an interesting day and so will the next month or 2. Yay for awesomeness that is cool, until it is no longer cool...yikes. Just get your 'affairs' in order, will ya, please. And there's one affair you really need to concentrate on....His name is Jesus Christ. Give Him a call.
hahaha...that sounds really lame the way I wrote it, but I need to go make a handsome little boy a grilled cheese sandwich and I'm kinda rushing. Much love to you all....forever.
I just had another messed up dream!
This time it was a huge wave from the ocean....argh!
So in my dream...I either was or was watching a boy (it flipped back and forth from first person to second person points of view)...he maybe about 12 or so...he was at school, throwing football with the other kids. Then standing from a viewpoint on top of a tall building we could see waves from the ocean rising higher and higher, and we all saw one massive one coming inland. The school raced to get everyone to the upper floors of the building...and we all made it up safely even though we were on the top floor and still had gotten wet, we didn't drown though....
The city/town was destroyed and although there were survivors, many had moved away from the area. I had stayed.
Then kinda like further in the future..maybe a few months or a year or 2....another wave had come...this time it was much larger and on the top floor of the building I was pressed up against the ceiling with only 3 or so inches of an air pocket to breath from. I had made my way out a window and climbed on top of the building...there was a lady up there as well and we sat together in disbelief....we were the only survivors around. The building was like floating around the city (big city with taller buildings than ours)
I remember that I (the boy) had showed the lady his head, that was shaved around the bottom of his hairline and it had something that looked like a calender of events...
In the center of the boys forehead was 2 squares that each had a number 0 and the squiggily lines that represented water under the zeros. Then he turned his head to show what else had happened (can't remember what else I saw, but it was different from the water lines!!) but the boy turned his head from his forehead..and all the way around past the back of his head (similar to the 8 o'clock mark on a clock) I couldn't see if it stopped there as he didn't turn his head all the way around, but I knew he would have to add the next square of another wave....??
Just after we were on the building, we had somehow gotten into the water...and a mermaid or something non-human was gripping my hand and pulling me up from under the water towards where I could see the sunlight at the surface..... I woke up.
To make matters more unsettling...there was a youtube video posted this morning from one of the people I subscribe to, that directly implied big waves and water and something to do with money.....
It was just freaky.
Now I'm thinking maybe the boys markings around his head were a calendar of events....the first wave began the calendar at 0, and the other 0 next to it was the end....
Now the boy did appear older than when the first wave had hit, but not by 7 years (if you think the 7 years of tribulation stuff)...maybe 3.5 at the most....
Well, just thought I'd share since today will be an interesting day and so will the next month or 2. Yay for awesomeness that is cool, until it is no longer cool...yikes. Just get your 'affairs' in order, will ya, please. And there's one affair you really need to concentrate on....His name is Jesus Christ. Give Him a call.
hahaha...that sounds really lame the way I wrote it, but I need to go make a handsome little boy a grilled cheese sandwich and I'm kinda rushing. Much love to you all....forever.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Some of them want to abuse you....
I am SAD and MAD....and I feel like throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old....
I can't elaborate either....or describe or even give you a hint....
Just know that its only yourself and what you claim to be responsibilities, that are at fault.
Sometimes when you are thinking of jumping...and taking that leap of faith and utter trust in a calling that you are led to answer....sometimes you are not the only one who falls off that great cliff....and so you are stagnant while the opportunities are available and ready...but no....you watch them pass because the ones with you fear to take that chance of learning to fly.
So...you are riding along like on a vacation..and you see all these wonderful places that you are drawn to...but the car keeps driving without slowing down.....and the chances to find a great treasure or discover something inspiring are gone....gone forever.
You are not driving....and even if you ask to pull over....the driver laughs...or worse, they give you an irritated expression like you are full of shit and nothing that inspires you should take away from where the driver inspires to go.....no time for you, dear passenger...all the things you find wonderful are stupid....
then I'll die for that stupidity....
I can't elaborate either....or describe or even give you a hint....
Just know that its only yourself and what you claim to be responsibilities, that are at fault.
Sometimes when you are thinking of jumping...and taking that leap of faith and utter trust in a calling that you are led to answer....sometimes you are not the only one who falls off that great cliff....and so you are stagnant while the opportunities are available and ready...but no....you watch them pass because the ones with you fear to take that chance of learning to fly.
So...you are riding along like on a vacation..and you see all these wonderful places that you are drawn to...but the car keeps driving without slowing down.....and the chances to find a great treasure or discover something inspiring are gone....gone forever.
You are not driving....and even if you ask to pull over....the driver laughs...or worse, they give you an irritated expression like you are full of shit and nothing that inspires you should take away from where the driver inspires to go.....no time for you, dear passenger...all the things you find wonderful are stupid....
then I'll die for that stupidity....
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Do your aliens owe money?
Have to be quick, as I have work to get to and I only have until 2 am to get it done. Then to get more of it done tomorrow, and the day after that....all this assuming I actually have the fabrics I need for them all...oh yay...cause you just KNOW that will not be the case....argh!
Pinocchio, Bambi, Pooh, Minnie, Alice, and Up sets all have to be finished by the weekend....and that's like only 50 hours away. Yippee.
Then to tackle another 7 before the end of the month.
You'd think raising prices would = less work...but it more or less = harder work instead.
Of course, I'm rather glad I have the awesomest customers, so there is good in all this besides the money which helps pay for groceries and gas....and fabric.
What else is good out of it...well, I'm no longer addicted to fabric shopping...I rather despise it now and really try to get out quickly since its such a chore now instead of an enjoyment.
Let me tell you how stupid the world is again....to remind you.....why is it you have to owe more to pay less??? wtf.
we owe a little....but pay a lot....but if we decided to change that to an owe more....we would pay less.....stupid. It's like the world sucks you in and continually causes you to buy into the system again and again. Once you get ahead, you have to pay more for things. No rewards for the scumbags who pay on time every time and have piddly bills verses the amazing people who owe hundreds of thousands of dollars for their craptastic houses and live off the government.... stupid.
Let's talk aliens.....the black triangle type ufo's. Yes, those things....
So I saw one before many years ago. huge and triangular, 3 white lights at the angles and a small red light in the center (no glare on those suckers like street lights).....the thing was silent and low....and made a 90 degree turn while moving....I would say it was about 100 or so yards across....that big....
So I was alone unfortunately and no one to freak out with....I drove away...so not cool in the middle of the night being all alone and the ufo thing decides to make that 90 degree turn in my freaking direction. Not cool at all!
This was in Red Bank, near the radio tower that is directly across from where that old carpet place used to be (can't remember street name) about 10:30 pm (because I had to go pick up hubby...well future hubby from work on second shift) yeah so like 14 years ago but still...I remember being freaked out, lol.
Well, the other day....one of my sewing friends posts about something in the sky that freaked her out that afternoon...and she mentions black and triangular...and silent.....so I'm thinking this is cool...but not so cool.
She said it wasn't too big and had 5 white lights on the bottom.
So yeah, it could be those new stealth wings or whatever they are called...but it made me remember my encounter, which is so not cool.....and there's been enough alien crap lately....stop already!!!
So all this takes me back to those messed up dreams I had awhile back...about things at first appearing to be 'cool'....then suddenly its all followed by a 'We need to get out of here NOW!' ....
Anyway...youtube people said nothing 'cool' will happen until late next week anyway, so according to CNN, you had 'better get your affairs in order' while you still can.
Shit is gonna hit the fan soon.....and I find it exciting as hell!!!
So today I had to elaborate to the kids why they couldn't draw transmutation circles on the front porch with chalk...or anywhere for that matter....lol...yes, they have been watching maybe too many episodes of Full Metal Alchemist!!! But we can't have the wonderful loving people of the world making up absurd uneducated assumptions...however I think they would have made a great welcome mat for any 'visitors' LOL.
So....I'm hoping here in a few weeks....we will have only 1 bill and more money....then maybe when I get the other half of $1600...a nikon d7000....and a new hobby...that makes money :)
ok, need to get to work for realz this time!!! Write to you little non-aliens later!
"In the forehead by way of profession; in the hand with respect to work and service" [Augustine].
Pinocchio, Bambi, Pooh, Minnie, Alice, and Up sets all have to be finished by the weekend....and that's like only 50 hours away. Yippee.
Then to tackle another 7 before the end of the month.
You'd think raising prices would = less work...but it more or less = harder work instead.
Of course, I'm rather glad I have the awesomest customers, so there is good in all this besides the money which helps pay for groceries and gas....and fabric.
What else is good out of it...well, I'm no longer addicted to fabric shopping...I rather despise it now and really try to get out quickly since its such a chore now instead of an enjoyment.
Let me tell you how stupid the world is again....to remind you.....why is it you have to owe more to pay less??? wtf.
we owe a little....but pay a lot....but if we decided to change that to an owe more....we would pay less.....stupid. It's like the world sucks you in and continually causes you to buy into the system again and again. Once you get ahead, you have to pay more for things. No rewards for the scumbags who pay on time every time and have piddly bills verses the amazing people who owe hundreds of thousands of dollars for their craptastic houses and live off the government.... stupid.
Let's talk aliens.....the black triangle type ufo's. Yes, those things....
So I saw one before many years ago. huge and triangular, 3 white lights at the angles and a small red light in the center (no glare on those suckers like street lights).....the thing was silent and low....and made a 90 degree turn while moving....I would say it was about 100 or so yards across....that big....
So I was alone unfortunately and no one to freak out with....I drove away...so not cool in the middle of the night being all alone and the ufo thing decides to make that 90 degree turn in my freaking direction. Not cool at all!
This was in Red Bank, near the radio tower that is directly across from where that old carpet place used to be (can't remember street name) about 10:30 pm (because I had to go pick up hubby...well future hubby from work on second shift) yeah so like 14 years ago but still...I remember being freaked out, lol.
Well, the other day....one of my sewing friends posts about something in the sky that freaked her out that afternoon...and she mentions black and triangular...and silent.....so I'm thinking this is cool...but not so cool.
She said it wasn't too big and had 5 white lights on the bottom.
So yeah, it could be those new stealth wings or whatever they are called...but it made me remember my encounter, which is so not cool.....and there's been enough alien crap lately....stop already!!!
So all this takes me back to those messed up dreams I had awhile back...about things at first appearing to be 'cool'....then suddenly its all followed by a 'We need to get out of here NOW!' ....
Anyway...youtube people said nothing 'cool' will happen until late next week anyway, so according to CNN, you had 'better get your affairs in order' while you still can.
Shit is gonna hit the fan soon.....and I find it exciting as hell!!!
So today I had to elaborate to the kids why they couldn't draw transmutation circles on the front porch with chalk...or anywhere for that matter....lol...yes, they have been watching maybe too many episodes of Full Metal Alchemist!!! But we can't have the wonderful loving people of the world making up absurd uneducated assumptions...however I think they would have made a great welcome mat for any 'visitors' LOL.
So....I'm hoping here in a few weeks....we will have only 1 bill and more money....then maybe when I get the other half of $1600...a nikon d7000....and a new hobby...that makes money :)
ok, need to get to work for realz this time!!! Write to you little non-aliens later!
"In the forehead by way of profession; in the hand with respect to work and service" [Augustine].
Monday, March 12, 2012
bitch that waz stupid
...and Remy LaBeau...#4 on my awesome list...the one from the Wolverine movie. So every time I see Taylor Kitsch, I'm gonna call him Remy.
I have serious work to be doing, but I must write before I go over 'there' to do that...cause then I'll get distracted by thinking of writing.
Ya know...I find it more likely that I will get up in the morning and work...yeah, that sounds better. Since I was having fun on facebook messing with a hacker...and now its half past midnight...
and I kinda forgot what I waz gonna write about, LOL!!!!!!
Later TATORS!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!
I have serious work to be doing, but I must write before I go over 'there' to do that...cause then I'll get distracted by thinking of writing.
Ya know...I find it more likely that I will get up in the morning and work...yeah, that sounds better. Since I was having fun on facebook messing with a hacker...and now its half past midnight...
and I kinda forgot what I waz gonna write about, LOL!!!!!!
Later TATORS!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
No idea how it got this long...
Not sure when I said it last, but let me remind you how much I hate sewing.
I hate sewing.
I hate sewing.
I hate spending the last 3 and a half hours cutting out cute little Tinkerbells and Peter Pans and doing all that crap to get them prepped and then sewing them on and then having to do their faces...argh. I HATE sewing!!!
So much for working by the hour, when I only charged $60 for this dress, which is nice and all if it only took less than 3 hours, but no, it did not! Damn it.
I could've been writing my book, which just so happens to be the 3rd most important thing in my entire existence...but NO, I have to sew which is so far the 5th on my 'this shit sucks' list....and I'm kicking myself for placing myself in this predicament.
So I'm a bit p.o.'d for losing 3 and a half hours of my life...not to mention the hours I will lose when I do the next orders I have lined up...*sigh.
I could be taking pictures, or writing, or even sitting on my ass and feel better than sewing another piece of shit applique.
I'm going to raise my prices again....and everyone can kiss my ass if they don;t like it.
Today I also took out the carpet that was in the living room....that was fun. And I didn't feel bad for spending 3 hours on it at all. Of course, now we'll need to lay down the other flooring probably on Sunday, but that's fun stuff, I like construction...and deconstruction.
The cats have been wigging out lately, not sure why, they are acting strange... solar flare or something, hell if I know.
Otherwise, the rest of the world is out to go against my plans, which is great, because I'd rather fight the world than join in it's ruthless conspiracy.
Let's move on to something better....
Let me tell you a secret.....
Is it so hard to understand...
Laying under the stars, moonlight reflecting off smiling eyes. Giggles at midnight, hands with fingers mingling one within another. The warmth of a close breath. Dancing under the nebulas and swimming between the green sea blades, a love that sings together and grins broad before each tender motion of soft lips. Falling away one with another deep into the threshold of unending radiance and fire. Twisting, turning, never parting. Flesh touching flesh, waves of brilliant joy, cradles of peace, comfort, hands that give everything to the other. Hearts...that become united by the grace of being and loving. .....There is no I and You unless love comes between us and then creates us....
Do you understand?
Is this so foreign to the world who refuses to see love as it is and forces it to be something it is not...love is not a joke, like all other things you turn into riddles. It is not funny and harsh...or cold and angry....no greed, no fear...no betrayal either...No...
I find it sad that not everyone knows what it is. Or they think they have it and then what they do have is torn down by the trembles of greed or jealousy or rage and is what is left is a void full of ruins...
Love....is a dream....and I do not ever wish to wake up.
Want to hear another secret?
I once did a 'You suck' post on facebook before about people who suck ass and why they suck....and I would really like to do that again one day soon, since the world is going to come to an end soon and I like to use it as an excuse to be utterly truthful even though people may think I'm joking. So I'll need to do that soon on here, since no one cares anyway.....but for tonight, since I'm feeling oh so ho-hum honest...I want to make a 'You are Awesome' list instead.....but I'm afraid I won;t be able to include everyone who I think is awesome, because ..1. I'm still a chicken to share everything, lol....2. I'm not sure why certain people are awesome yet and I need more observing time, lol. But let's start before I change my mind...
1. Jesus Christ...you are awesome..because you like to screw with my head and make me go whacked out at random times in my life. And for the obvious reasons as well...and for bringing my dog back to me even though I think I was kinda rude when I demanded him back the day before. Thanks for that...and for hubby too...and the other numorous random things that only you and I know about....and even the other things I'm too chicken to share...yet.
2. My awesome family...cause they are cooler than everyone else. Namely my kiddos, cause they are awesome, and my hubby, cause he's awesome too...and I would include the rest of the family on my awesome list...but they are not number 2...only kids and hubby get this rank...sorrys. :)
3. Logan. You're my hero...and I love you....and even though most people have never met you, you will remain number 3 in my awesome list for quite some time, if not forever....now number 1 and 2 are my heroes as well.....but still...if anyone asks, you can say you are.
4. ....this is sad that I got distracted by the first 3 I have no idea who else to write about, lol. ....well shit. Or maybe it's bad because there's a lot of cool people, but awesome requires certain standards to be met and mainly is the part that they have to know me...and well...I don;t think anyone knows me besides numbers 1, 2, and 3....see how sad that is. I'm all alone otherwise.
Want to work on the 'You suck' list instead? ...though I don;t think I hate anyone today except for the people on those peta videos I know I shouldn't watch. They SUCK! (and need to die a fiery death over and over and over again and get skinned alive too...bastards)....
who else sucks? The person who decided it was okay to remake Full Metal Alchemist and totally changed Edwards personality into some jerk...that sucks!
People who make jokes like the post I wrote last week.
Realty companies who think a house that is so outdated your eyes burn from the horrible flooring and windows should cost $125000.
Dogs who chew on your house plants...namely one named Coraline who is going to have to have a re-learning session about how plants can scare the shit out of her if she ever touches them again!!! damn dog!!! some of them are poisonous stupid canine.
Want to have a quick run-down of the cool list...which means I like you and you may be adopted into my imaginary family or already are, or never will be, but you're still cool anywa :) ??? Sure you do...maybe I can get a longer list than the other 2, haha
Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Heath Ledger, Mike Rowe, the guy from the Allstate commercials who plays Mayhem, the photographer guy I stalk because I think he's an angel or something, 9Nania, Ann Voskamp, the other youtube lady I watch..777somethingish, I don't remember, lol, Jodi, Judy, Steven, Tony, Steve Nelson, mom, don't know his name, but the guy who plays Gambit in the Wolverine movie...he plays in John Carter too I think? Ashitaka, Dante, Cutter, Strongbow, Batman, Link, Uncle Lee, Rachel, Wolverine, Alex, Renee, Anthony, Nicole, Tiffany, Doug...and the little ones that belong to them, all the pets, the guy I met in Walgreens once and he freaked me out, the nice lady who sang a song to my kids oneday, Nichiel, Mr. O'Malley, Richard, Heather, Trisha, Jennifer, Lara, Diane, Megamind, Lex Luther, Superman, Tristan, Xargon, Rune, Rain, Kabree, Sadie, Lukin, Anakin Skywalker, Magneto, and numerous other people make-believe or not that I'm too tired to think about..
Goodnight.
I hate sewing.
I hate sewing.
I hate spending the last 3 and a half hours cutting out cute little Tinkerbells and Peter Pans and doing all that crap to get them prepped and then sewing them on and then having to do their faces...argh. I HATE sewing!!!
So much for working by the hour, when I only charged $60 for this dress, which is nice and all if it only took less than 3 hours, but no, it did not! Damn it.
I could've been writing my book, which just so happens to be the 3rd most important thing in my entire existence...but NO, I have to sew which is so far the 5th on my 'this shit sucks' list....and I'm kicking myself for placing myself in this predicament.
So I'm a bit p.o.'d for losing 3 and a half hours of my life...not to mention the hours I will lose when I do the next orders I have lined up...*sigh.
I could be taking pictures, or writing, or even sitting on my ass and feel better than sewing another piece of shit applique.
I'm going to raise my prices again....and everyone can kiss my ass if they don;t like it.
Today I also took out the carpet that was in the living room....that was fun. And I didn't feel bad for spending 3 hours on it at all. Of course, now we'll need to lay down the other flooring probably on Sunday, but that's fun stuff, I like construction...and deconstruction.
The cats have been wigging out lately, not sure why, they are acting strange... solar flare or something, hell if I know.
Otherwise, the rest of the world is out to go against my plans, which is great, because I'd rather fight the world than join in it's ruthless conspiracy.
Let's move on to something better....
Let me tell you a secret.....
Is it so hard to understand...
Laying under the stars, moonlight reflecting off smiling eyes. Giggles at midnight, hands with fingers mingling one within another. The warmth of a close breath. Dancing under the nebulas and swimming between the green sea blades, a love that sings together and grins broad before each tender motion of soft lips. Falling away one with another deep into the threshold of unending radiance and fire. Twisting, turning, never parting. Flesh touching flesh, waves of brilliant joy, cradles of peace, comfort, hands that give everything to the other. Hearts...that become united by the grace of being and loving. .....There is no I and You unless love comes between us and then creates us....
Do you understand?
Is this so foreign to the world who refuses to see love as it is and forces it to be something it is not...love is not a joke, like all other things you turn into riddles. It is not funny and harsh...or cold and angry....no greed, no fear...no betrayal either...No...
I find it sad that not everyone knows what it is. Or they think they have it and then what they do have is torn down by the trembles of greed or jealousy or rage and is what is left is a void full of ruins...
Love....is a dream....and I do not ever wish to wake up.
Want to hear another secret?
I once did a 'You suck' post on facebook before about people who suck ass and why they suck....and I would really like to do that again one day soon, since the world is going to come to an end soon and I like to use it as an excuse to be utterly truthful even though people may think I'm joking. So I'll need to do that soon on here, since no one cares anyway.....but for tonight, since I'm feeling oh so ho-hum honest...I want to make a 'You are Awesome' list instead.....but I'm afraid I won;t be able to include everyone who I think is awesome, because ..1. I'm still a chicken to share everything, lol....2. I'm not sure why certain people are awesome yet and I need more observing time, lol. But let's start before I change my mind...
1. Jesus Christ...you are awesome..because you like to screw with my head and make me go whacked out at random times in my life. And for the obvious reasons as well...and for bringing my dog back to me even though I think I was kinda rude when I demanded him back the day before. Thanks for that...and for hubby too...and the other numorous random things that only you and I know about....and even the other things I'm too chicken to share...yet.
2. My awesome family...cause they are cooler than everyone else. Namely my kiddos, cause they are awesome, and my hubby, cause he's awesome too...and I would include the rest of the family on my awesome list...but they are not number 2...only kids and hubby get this rank...sorrys. :)
3. Logan. You're my hero...and I love you....and even though most people have never met you, you will remain number 3 in my awesome list for quite some time, if not forever....now number 1 and 2 are my heroes as well.....but still...if anyone asks, you can say you are.
4. ....this is sad that I got distracted by the first 3 I have no idea who else to write about, lol. ....well shit. Or maybe it's bad because there's a lot of cool people, but awesome requires certain standards to be met and mainly is the part that they have to know me...and well...I don;t think anyone knows me besides numbers 1, 2, and 3....see how sad that is. I'm all alone otherwise.
Want to work on the 'You suck' list instead? ...though I don;t think I hate anyone today except for the people on those peta videos I know I shouldn't watch. They SUCK! (and need to die a fiery death over and over and over again and get skinned alive too...bastards)....
who else sucks? The person who decided it was okay to remake Full Metal Alchemist and totally changed Edwards personality into some jerk...that sucks!
People who make jokes like the post I wrote last week.
Realty companies who think a house that is so outdated your eyes burn from the horrible flooring and windows should cost $125000.
Dogs who chew on your house plants...namely one named Coraline who is going to have to have a re-learning session about how plants can scare the shit out of her if she ever touches them again!!! damn dog!!! some of them are poisonous stupid canine.
Want to have a quick run-down of the cool list...which means I like you and you may be adopted into my imaginary family or already are, or never will be, but you're still cool anywa :) ??? Sure you do...maybe I can get a longer list than the other 2, haha
Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Heath Ledger, Mike Rowe, the guy from the Allstate commercials who plays Mayhem, the photographer guy I stalk because I think he's an angel or something, 9Nania, Ann Voskamp, the other youtube lady I watch..777somethingish, I don't remember, lol, Jodi, Judy, Steven, Tony, Steve Nelson, mom, don't know his name, but the guy who plays Gambit in the Wolverine movie...he plays in John Carter too I think? Ashitaka, Dante, Cutter, Strongbow, Batman, Link, Uncle Lee, Rachel, Wolverine, Alex, Renee, Anthony, Nicole, Tiffany, Doug...and the little ones that belong to them, all the pets, the guy I met in Walgreens once and he freaked me out, the nice lady who sang a song to my kids oneday, Nichiel, Mr. O'Malley, Richard, Heather, Trisha, Jennifer, Lara, Diane, Megamind, Lex Luther, Superman, Tristan, Xargon, Rune, Rain, Kabree, Sadie, Lukin, Anakin Skywalker, Magneto, and numerous other people make-believe or not that I'm too tired to think about..
Goodnight.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
really short
gonna be short...but I wanted to write about how I didn't get anything done today, haha.
Need to print out, cut, out, trace, and cut out, iron and prep some appliques of Teen Titans characters tomorrow..*eek! That sounds like a whole hell of a lot to me right now....and yeah it kinda is, but I MUST get it done...and now that I think about it, I must get the Tink and Peter Pan appliques done and sewn up as well...argh!
and school, and cleaning, and lunch, and dinner, and and and...
Stupid stuff I have to do....I need a vacation...for a month.
and some money...and --->>>THIS<<<---
Need to print out, cut, out, trace, and cut out, iron and prep some appliques of Teen Titans characters tomorrow..*eek! That sounds like a whole hell of a lot to me right now....and yeah it kinda is, but I MUST get it done...and now that I think about it, I must get the Tink and Peter Pan appliques done and sewn up as well...argh!
and school, and cleaning, and lunch, and dinner, and and and...
Stupid stuff I have to do....I need a vacation...for a month.
and some money...and --->>>THIS<<<---
Monday, March 5, 2012
.......close your eyes...and sleep
Do not let anything keep you –
not anything —
from flinging out of that sagging comfort zone,
and right into the streets, eyes and mouth full of His wonder,
to pant it in the marketplace
the back alleys, the front fields,
across the crackling wires
that you have seen Him, yes — you have seen the light —
and with these very eyes,
and you hear it even now,
how the rocks cry out
and you cry too, this stammering it
into every willing ear
that you opened your eyes one day and ran right into all His glory
and He saves and He kisses wounds and He serenades
and Beauty has branded you,
marked you with awe
and awe is why you grab the pen, and Beauty is why you scratch it down,
and all His lighting glory is why you muzzle the voices that say
you can’t or shouldn’t or mustn’t,
because He is your blaze and He is your burn and and you cannot be muzzled because
what can keep you from telling once the eyes have seen?
Could there be anything greater than this,
the bearing witness
to the glory sighting?
Stand and give testimony.
Because this is the holy, blazing thing:
you cannot
not.
No, I didn't write that, but I liked it, so I had to share. :P
anyway, I was going to sew up 2 bunnies so I can get one of my orders out the door...but now I just don't feel like it...I just want to take a shower and sit and think, lol....without falling asleep like I usually do when I actually have time to be still.
*sigh....
I keep writing stuff and deleting it, so I'm done for now, maybe I'll be more inspirational tomorrow...and I'll get those bunnies finished when the sun comes up and be able to get the measly 10 things on my '-It's Tuesday and you cannot procrastinate any longer to get these done!-' list completed.
I'm hatin' on those lists...yeesh.
Goodnight lovelies from under the sun.
not anything —
from flinging out of that sagging comfort zone,
and right into the streets, eyes and mouth full of His wonder,
to pant it in the marketplace
the back alleys, the front fields,
across the crackling wires
that you have seen Him, yes — you have seen the light —
and with these very eyes,
and you hear it even now,
how the rocks cry out
and you cry too, this stammering it
into every willing ear
that you opened your eyes one day and ran right into all His glory
and He saves and He kisses wounds and He serenades
and Beauty has branded you,
marked you with awe
and awe is why you grab the pen, and Beauty is why you scratch it down,
and all His lighting glory is why you muzzle the voices that say
you can’t or shouldn’t or mustn’t,
because He is your blaze and He is your burn and and you cannot be muzzled because
what can keep you from telling once the eyes have seen?
Could there be anything greater than this,
the bearing witness
to the glory sighting?
Stand and give testimony.
Because this is the holy, blazing thing:
you cannot
not.
No, I didn't write that, but I liked it, so I had to share. :P
anyway, I was going to sew up 2 bunnies so I can get one of my orders out the door...but now I just don't feel like it...I just want to take a shower and sit and think, lol....without falling asleep like I usually do when I actually have time to be still.
*sigh....
I keep writing stuff and deleting it, so I'm done for now, maybe I'll be more inspirational tomorrow...and I'll get those bunnies finished when the sun comes up and be able to get the measly 10 things on my '-It's Tuesday and you cannot procrastinate any longer to get these done!-' list completed.
I'm hatin' on those lists...yeesh.
Goodnight lovelies from under the sun.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Hickory smoked
"Judge them by their words..." was the theme of the day...since I watch these people on youtube...and that video of this one lady stuck out at me...so I had it in my mind while driving at o'dark thirty out to Chatt. yesterday.
So on the radio station we were listening to, the dj's were all discussing about how they did a staff vote on who would either go to heaven or hell (mind you this was definitely NOT some chrsitian station, I don;t listen to those) but one of the ladies said she didn't like voting because she felt it was wrong...and of course the other 4 people kinda just disregardered that and teased her...
And the one lady was just trying to say she felt it was sad that one of the others laughed about the fact that they had gotten 11 to 1 votes for going to hell...and that she didn't think it was funny....so they all poked fun at her about that as well....
Including but not limited to that one of the others also decided to add in some god ol' "praise Jesus bellringing' as a way to mock the situation...
I turned the channel....
I'm sorry, I may not appear on the outside to be some frufru little happy always good dainty little 'I've never sinned' fakey so called christian....But, it makes me sick that people make one big joke about Him. Sad that they think it's all fun and games...even now. Sad to know that even many others who use that term 'believe' still can't recognize a mask when they see it.
Then there's the other side of this...the people who are truely His...and what do they do...
The lady explained what she could and did her best..really..surrounded by at least 4 wolves, she managed while on the air.
But other people who stand by and just silence themselves...even they are like little labs that go hide in the corner...or worse, they are like rebellious teenagers who fight off everything that 'seems' to go against themselves and judge it like they are gods...
Is it so hard to just stand? Speak the truth? Be unafraid?
So to start off the day that was the mockery and big let's make God a joke...followed by ...yes, you guessed it.....FEAR!
The 'let's go hide in the corner and protect ourselves from the big bad storm'
Take cover when you need to, but my oh my...I experienced about 500 doses of fear yesterday while we were out shopping....REALLY???!!! So much for faith......or even trust...courage? bravery? ...no wonder I feel alone...no one else has sacrificed themselves and takes rest on Him....except the nice lady we met at wal-mart.
What does it mean to sacrifice yourself?...I'm glad you asked.
But this is a crash course in dying to live...try to keep up.
1. Let's start with the old fashioned way, but with cinnamon...and strawberries..yum... recognize you are a sinner and need forgiveness..yep, do that and while you are alone and not distracted, ask Jesus Christ directly...to just take all your crappy life away and tell Him to make what He wills of it. Cause you suck and you know it and certainly He can care for it better than you, cause He's cool and all and He really appreciates when you use your own words and not something you read on one of those gay ass pamphlets you find at the laundry mat.
2. So tell Him what a craptastic life you've had and some bits of info about the stuff you've really messed up and ask that He just takes it away and throws it into that fancy red lake He owns...along with everything else too...yep, even the stuff that may be good. Everything that is not something He wants you to keep. Everything!
3. After that....stay focused...since you are talking directly to the big guy and He's cool and all. Then ask that He remove every idea you ever had of Him...and God...and everything relating to such. Ask Him to take it away that which does not sustain. Say please and thank you.
4. Then...since you are sure to imagine talking to Him in some form....let that flow away too....the ideas that He is standing over there and you are sitting here...the ideas that He is up there or somewhere else and you have to reach Him...NO NO NO NO NO!!! Let those thoughts die! If you feel like you have to work to have Him hear you, then you are the problem....try asking Him to come closer, as you cannot go very far anyway...and even closer..and closer...and closer if you can handle it.
5. This is fun, yes? ...so you're likely to start saying 'Dear Jesus' when you go and chat with Him as a start....wth? are you writing a letter? stop it! Say what feels right for you. There are no rules and guidelines you must follow...throw that shit idea out the window or have Him throw it in His fancy red lake. Saying Amen at the end is kinda the same thing...do what feel right, don't ever think you have to be like someone else or that you are any less special than His first born. And you'll most likely forget this and start doing it later....just remember when you start feeling frustrated....you got to keep burning the world away to be with Him....and that requires you to be rid of the ideas and thoughts that the world trains you up to believe.
6. If you still say that you believe Jesus Christ as the Lord....you should really look inside yourself and ask Him to take away whatever it is that is keeping you from knowing that He is Lord....I do not like that 'believe' word. As it is based on 'thinking' it is true...like aliens or santa clause....just because you 'believe' it, does not mean anything more than it is something that you carry in your own thoughts.... Now 'knowing' it is true...carries it from yourself and beyond and confirms it...not keeps it to yourself like just 'believing' does.
7. So you'll go for a walk....and you'll start picking up these pieces....and they'll be awfully beautiful, yes indeed they will....and perhaps oneday you'll start getting that frustration back and the thoughts of being not as close as you once were will come looming back and you'll think you're doing something wrong...well, you are again the problem.... those things you picked up, those ideas, those rules, those rituals, those chores, those burdens, those thoughts, those off handed conversations....you need to relinquish them...drop them on the ground, throw them in the fire...remove them from your heart....as He requires you to just be you, not endowed with fornications you got from your church or jewels you found while seeing someone else fall to sin, thinking you would never do that!...but you sinned just by thinking you had done better than them...hypocrite. So you have to let the world fall away once more...and even yourself. And your ideas...and even Him....you can never get to see Him as He is if you put your own vision of him before your eyes. Just sayin'
8. Just remember...nothing is required of you, you can choose to do nothing, to be nothing. Eventually, you may still know that, but inside you ...something screams...as eventually, you'll see that that it is Him that is screaming inside of you to do something...and you'll 'want' to....because it is you too who 'wants' to....and you can still choose not to, but it'll bring no joy....'cause we all like to do what we want'
9. oh, so then ...let's recognize the assholes who like to make fun or discourse...especially the people with masks! Yep, they are everywhere, omg! Especially the ones who act so happy all the time and nothings ever wrong and they like to say things using 'key words' much more than other people...(we'll discuss those later when I'm ready to get burned at the stake again) stay away from them please. They will constantly try to lead you astray, they will talk bunches about Him like He is a mighty ruler, but speak nothing of like how He is a Father...just be aware..please. They are not your brother or sisters...they are pawns of the bad guys who've been taught to prey upon the sheep. You can try to make them see, but only He can do that...and then they will see you are a sheep and will hound after you because you are not of them.....be aware...they will persecute you, and not just in ways you are familiar with....
10. If you get in a rut that really sucks...again burn the world away and have Him take it all away again....cause sometimes even when you don't pick up stuff on your walk, things stick to you like those little seed pods when you walk through the forest...pick them off and toss them aside...then just ask the big guy to handle this crap for you cause you suck at it. say thank you. ...
.then get ready for a bar-b-que...it'll be great once its finished...You know how when its cooking it smells so good, but it sucks that it is not ready to eat yet....yeah, thats how the bar-b-que is...roasty toasty...and no fun till supper time. ;)
Lol....There's like 747 helpful hints I could post...but why, tis funner to discover them for yourself.
You're surrounded by wolves, scattered by the goats, and set apart from the Shepherd. You cannot hear His bell if you wail out to those beside you. Quiet yourselves and listen, for He is near and He will gather you up if you come close. He will guard you and carry you into the barn, safe from the approaching storm. Listen little children. His footsteps are quick and He carries a staff. Standing tall upon the hills. Go to Him and rest assured that He will guide you home.
The sun is setting and the paws of the enemy race to surround you. Horns prod and poke you further away and tempt you to be lost. Keep your eye on him and evade those who wish you to turn away. Standing in the sunset...leading you to the light...listen and watch and follow....there is no time to delay when the eyes of the hunters can be seen from the shadows.....
So on the radio station we were listening to, the dj's were all discussing about how they did a staff vote on who would either go to heaven or hell (mind you this was definitely NOT some chrsitian station, I don;t listen to those) but one of the ladies said she didn't like voting because she felt it was wrong...and of course the other 4 people kinda just disregardered that and teased her...
And the one lady was just trying to say she felt it was sad that one of the others laughed about the fact that they had gotten 11 to 1 votes for going to hell...and that she didn't think it was funny....so they all poked fun at her about that as well....
Including but not limited to that one of the others also decided to add in some god ol' "praise Jesus bellringing' as a way to mock the situation...
I turned the channel....
I'm sorry, I may not appear on the outside to be some frufru little happy always good dainty little 'I've never sinned' fakey so called christian....But, it makes me sick that people make one big joke about Him. Sad that they think it's all fun and games...even now. Sad to know that even many others who use that term 'believe' still can't recognize a mask when they see it.
Then there's the other side of this...the people who are truely His...and what do they do...
The lady explained what she could and did her best..really..surrounded by at least 4 wolves, she managed while on the air.
But other people who stand by and just silence themselves...even they are like little labs that go hide in the corner...or worse, they are like rebellious teenagers who fight off everything that 'seems' to go against themselves and judge it like they are gods...
Is it so hard to just stand? Speak the truth? Be unafraid?
So to start off the day that was the mockery and big let's make God a joke...followed by ...yes, you guessed it.....FEAR!
The 'let's go hide in the corner and protect ourselves from the big bad storm'
Take cover when you need to, but my oh my...I experienced about 500 doses of fear yesterday while we were out shopping....REALLY???!!! So much for faith......or even trust...courage? bravery? ...no wonder I feel alone...no one else has sacrificed themselves and takes rest on Him....except the nice lady we met at wal-mart.
What does it mean to sacrifice yourself?...I'm glad you asked.
But this is a crash course in dying to live...try to keep up.
1. Let's start with the old fashioned way, but with cinnamon...and strawberries..yum... recognize you are a sinner and need forgiveness..yep, do that and while you are alone and not distracted, ask Jesus Christ directly...to just take all your crappy life away and tell Him to make what He wills of it. Cause you suck and you know it and certainly He can care for it better than you, cause He's cool and all and He really appreciates when you use your own words and not something you read on one of those gay ass pamphlets you find at the laundry mat.
2. So tell Him what a craptastic life you've had and some bits of info about the stuff you've really messed up and ask that He just takes it away and throws it into that fancy red lake He owns...along with everything else too...yep, even the stuff that may be good. Everything that is not something He wants you to keep. Everything!
3. After that....stay focused...since you are talking directly to the big guy and He's cool and all. Then ask that He remove every idea you ever had of Him...and God...and everything relating to such. Ask Him to take it away that which does not sustain. Say please and thank you.
4. Then...since you are sure to imagine talking to Him in some form....let that flow away too....the ideas that He is standing over there and you are sitting here...the ideas that He is up there or somewhere else and you have to reach Him...NO NO NO NO NO!!! Let those thoughts die! If you feel like you have to work to have Him hear you, then you are the problem....try asking Him to come closer, as you cannot go very far anyway...and even closer..and closer...and closer if you can handle it.
5. This is fun, yes? ...so you're likely to start saying 'Dear Jesus' when you go and chat with Him as a start....wth? are you writing a letter? stop it! Say what feels right for you. There are no rules and guidelines you must follow...throw that shit idea out the window or have Him throw it in His fancy red lake. Saying Amen at the end is kinda the same thing...do what feel right, don't ever think you have to be like someone else or that you are any less special than His first born. And you'll most likely forget this and start doing it later....just remember when you start feeling frustrated....you got to keep burning the world away to be with Him....and that requires you to be rid of the ideas and thoughts that the world trains you up to believe.
6. If you still say that you believe Jesus Christ as the Lord....you should really look inside yourself and ask Him to take away whatever it is that is keeping you from knowing that He is Lord....I do not like that 'believe' word. As it is based on 'thinking' it is true...like aliens or santa clause....just because you 'believe' it, does not mean anything more than it is something that you carry in your own thoughts.... Now 'knowing' it is true...carries it from yourself and beyond and confirms it...not keeps it to yourself like just 'believing' does.
7. So you'll go for a walk....and you'll start picking up these pieces....and they'll be awfully beautiful, yes indeed they will....and perhaps oneday you'll start getting that frustration back and the thoughts of being not as close as you once were will come looming back and you'll think you're doing something wrong...well, you are again the problem.... those things you picked up, those ideas, those rules, those rituals, those chores, those burdens, those thoughts, those off handed conversations....you need to relinquish them...drop them on the ground, throw them in the fire...remove them from your heart....as He requires you to just be you, not endowed with fornications you got from your church or jewels you found while seeing someone else fall to sin, thinking you would never do that!...but you sinned just by thinking you had done better than them...hypocrite. So you have to let the world fall away once more...and even yourself. And your ideas...and even Him....you can never get to see Him as He is if you put your own vision of him before your eyes. Just sayin'
8. Just remember...nothing is required of you, you can choose to do nothing, to be nothing. Eventually, you may still know that, but inside you ...something screams...as eventually, you'll see that that it is Him that is screaming inside of you to do something...and you'll 'want' to....because it is you too who 'wants' to....and you can still choose not to, but it'll bring no joy....'cause we all like to do what we want'
9. oh, so then ...let's recognize the assholes who like to make fun or discourse...especially the people with masks! Yep, they are everywhere, omg! Especially the ones who act so happy all the time and nothings ever wrong and they like to say things using 'key words' much more than other people...(we'll discuss those later when I'm ready to get burned at the stake again) stay away from them please. They will constantly try to lead you astray, they will talk bunches about Him like He is a mighty ruler, but speak nothing of like how He is a Father...just be aware..please. They are not your brother or sisters...they are pawns of the bad guys who've been taught to prey upon the sheep. You can try to make them see, but only He can do that...and then they will see you are a sheep and will hound after you because you are not of them.....be aware...they will persecute you, and not just in ways you are familiar with....
10. If you get in a rut that really sucks...again burn the world away and have Him take it all away again....cause sometimes even when you don't pick up stuff on your walk, things stick to you like those little seed pods when you walk through the forest...pick them off and toss them aside...then just ask the big guy to handle this crap for you cause you suck at it. say thank you. ...
.then get ready for a bar-b-que...it'll be great once its finished...You know how when its cooking it smells so good, but it sucks that it is not ready to eat yet....yeah, thats how the bar-b-que is...roasty toasty...and no fun till supper time. ;)
Lol....There's like 747 helpful hints I could post...but why, tis funner to discover them for yourself.
You're surrounded by wolves, scattered by the goats, and set apart from the Shepherd. You cannot hear His bell if you wail out to those beside you. Quiet yourselves and listen, for He is near and He will gather you up if you come close. He will guard you and carry you into the barn, safe from the approaching storm. Listen little children. His footsteps are quick and He carries a staff. Standing tall upon the hills. Go to Him and rest assured that He will guide you home.
The sun is setting and the paws of the enemy race to surround you. Horns prod and poke you further away and tempt you to be lost. Keep your eye on him and evade those who wish you to turn away. Standing in the sunset...leading you to the light...listen and watch and follow....there is no time to delay when the eyes of the hunters can be seen from the shadows.....
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