just forget it.....

The book had ended. And He wrote the last few entries onto the bottom of the last page.
I watched Him. "Now what?" I asked. He smiled and took hold of another type of book. This one different. Not old and tattered like the one the was now full. The new one was crisp, clean, and white pages forming a wide ridge upon the side. "We begin a new story." or something to the effect, He said. "But this one, this one will be even better. The pages never end."

It wasn't long ago when we were just infants. Completely at the mercy of those who held us. Perhaps as toddlers we learned to only trust a few...then less and less as the years went by. Adults are those who trust the least....and we shall die because of this. Unless we become as children again. Trusting like a child the one who brought us forth. Completely. Being at the mercy of Him who beholds us in these final days. Let us trust.


So it's now July 1st. And where are we now. Much has been gained these past few months and there's been a whirlwind of chaotic storms and mercies, and there is still more enthralling encounters yet to come to pass. Much also has been lost...and like the closing of an old book, there are some things that seem lost forever. Not all one would wish to lose, although some have been waved farewell remarkably quick. This changing...this new birth. The first stings of air and of frustrated coldness. The loud crackling sounds and uncomfortableness of an unknown security. Blurred lights, sudden changes....all these things fresh to the senses of this small helpless child. And we all know we can't get back in, back into that warm, safe abode.
But it's ok. Because we have found ourselves in new arms. Warm, strong, safe arms. It'll be ok.
Things will be made known, and truths will be revealed, and issues will be solved and we will no longer have to tread through these turbulent waters alone.
"Fear not, for I am with thee." So little does He speak, but sometimes it is for the better...so we remember when He does. I always forget this, perhaps maybe in this new book the amnesia thing will go away and I can gain super powers of remembering important things, especially the important things. Maybe I can also recall that throwing temper tantrums to get results may not be the best way, and maybe I could think of something more peaceful to say....even though I don't really have to ask anyhow. I promise not to ask twice.
My very good friend is a blessing to me lately, and even though in real life, have no friends, I'm afraid no one could even come close to friend status if they are compared with him. But, luckily I don't compare...or judge, or do much of anything bad. You'd think I'd be more likeable. But I'm just socially weird and have no clue what to say. My main points of interest revolve around spirituality, end of the world scenarios, unschooling, conspiracy theories, aliens, the human condition, love, and random chunks of craft art with a purpose.
Speaking of human condition, we just watched that move called Warm Bodies....with the zombie kid who was changing back.... this silly movie just did a rehack into my central nerve bundle of cells that has to do with having a glimpse of hope for humanity as a whole. People changing for the better...eventually. Of course they will....eventually, but it will take time, and this life just isn't long enough to see this change. I'm rather glad I haven't been exposed to bad people anytime recently, as that would probably take a big hunk of foundation out of that notion of 'all things work toward the good of God' idea. Not that it is just an 'idea'......but still....I like to continue to think happy thoughts.

Sewing work still needs working on. Appliques too. House cleaning, gardening tending, cooking, bathing, and whatever else the week is sure to include. Probably call doctor tomorrow, but we all know most likely nothing will be answered. Bill paying, organizing, and possibly some bread making lies in the wings for the sunrise.

Must go...too tired. I'm outta here.

Armagedden...slow and meant to be...

Things always move in slow motion. Very slow, so you can take in every sweet moment, even if some are more pronounced in sweetness than others that almost taste bitter. There is happening an exodus at the moment. And it's thrilling and wrought with unexpectantness so much so as being both enjoyable and overbearing at the same time.
Great things are on the horizon. Very much so. I'm excited, yet glad things move in slow motion.

Speaking of slow motion....sewing work seems to be matching that speed. I work at least 4 hours a day, not including emails, marketing, packaging, labels, and researching. The 4 hours is sewing or prepping appliques. that 4 hours also does not include fabric shopping, design planning, prepping my assistants work, or sending out invoices. So if you want me to be honest, I feel like I work no less than 10 hours a day.
Thinking time to do a price hike is in order. If I had more time to devote to creating than trying to beat the mailman, customers would be happy to pay the price. I no longer feel some of my recent rushed designs are on the scale of 'amazing' anymore (though at one point they were). We can't be having that, now can we. So there will be a much needed overhaul before Monday arrives. (or I'll do it Monday morning anyway).

To-Do list is long, yet, I feel confident that these 'great things to come' will be taking good care of it, no problem. I'm not worried about it. Frankly haven't been worried about anything at all....this is nice, lol. Though I would appreciate a big chunk of cash in my bank account to add to the exuberant reality of being optimistic.
Yard Sale tomorrow, some swimming, more sewing work. On Sunday: adventures and much needed garden tending, and price hiking :) followed by more sewing work that should have been done this week.
Monday is 'sew all you can the whole morning and evening because you should have mailed it all off last week' day. Tuesday is supposed to be do what needs done day, but that plan could very well backfire into an 'I didn't do jack' day, so we will leave that one to fate.

I should be working, but look what I'm doing! I had to come write since my youtube sister Anna is freaking me out again, lol.
But this gives me awesome tinglings that usually come when awesome things are headed this way!! Hope I'm not the only one! You are seriously missing out on all this crazy fun torturous beautiful insanity!

I don't think I have much more to mention tonight, but take into account when you feel you have a moment and realize that slowness is a good thing....even if you should have been finished with it last Monday. Stay joyful, my friends.

Squeezing down the chute.....it won't be long now.

"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought."

So I got that book I ordered in....and so far I love it! It's called 'The Four Agreements'......and I do say so that even though it is written in super simple structure where almost anyone could follow it (I suppose) that the point of it makes the most perfect sense I've heard/read in a long long time. Intriguing, but not finished with it yet.
This read is somewhat freaking me out a bit too, as this state of mind changing seems to be coinciding with that womb thing....I'm almost excited, because holy cow....how can what comes next (and you know what comes next!) not be exciting!
Of course I do have this realization that there will be this short span of confusion and stress that must happen during the process....lots of stress...lots of confusion...lots of turmoil and waves of pressure. Ah yes....everything with a light side and the shadow that comes with it. But the light is what brings life, the light is what matters. And soon it will be so bright full of light that the shadows have to surrender to it.

This coincides with being exuberantly happy on a long term basis, yet feel like crying for no reason, a constant missing of someone you haven't yet met, having a major freak out because there's more work to be done than you's to do it all, and having your body suffer from this unknown sickness. ... and the kids are not fully better from their bout of sickness in case you wanted me to keep going.
All this coinciding...yet I find it fascinating and am feeling rather blessed to watch everything unfold in this life. It's like a reality show for yourself and there's all these twists and turns and I only get to see the preview of the next episode, but getting to see this preview is what is cool, only problem is waiting and wondering when it airs and wondering where the story will lead. Good times...good times.

I'm also rather angry as well. As I have no one to talk to about this nonsense. I have no one to listen to about their nonsense either...and I gets all lonelies.
My very good friend is cool, but he usually gets to hear my stories more than me describing my womb experience, lol. The boss man know all about everything, but He's working on something important right now and can't talk much about my theories and thoughts and reality shows.


Ok...so for stressful matters...I feel icky and my throat issue is still a pain in the ass. No thank you to the doctor or meds she gave me. The boy is better, but still slight cough and nasal stuffiness/drainage. The girl is sick today and now currently beginning the cough and nasal stuff. Oh yay....grrr.
Hubby is immune to everything, so at least I don't have to worry about him getting sick....just injured, ugh. Too much needs done...I have orders out the yin yang....and am 1 order away from closing to new orders until I can get caught up. The turnip greens and kale in my garden are spikey....are they supposed to be like that?? I don't think I'll be eating them....they look like weeds, lol.
I wonder if the government will put me on the watch list if I use a bunch of 'cue words' like Obama, or weed, or gun, rifle, shotgun, pistol, blah blah, explosion, all in the same sentence? Probably....well, nice to know you are keeping me in check....psh. This is the type of scenario that hinders creative freedom, art, evolution of the human mind, growth, and all the wonderful god given rights we have as humankind.
For example: I'm a photographer. I have these pictures I would love to create just to help open people's minds a bit. They would be quite possibly controversial. They would involve major key issues like gun control, freedom of speech, constitutional rights, abortion, homosexuality, abuse (all kinds), conspiracy theories, end of the world theories, so on and so forth...(and boy do I have a lot!) BUT and a big BUT...... I'm not free to do such things. For example: If I posted......... (STOP THERE....see I can't even post it.) I don't want people knocking on my door. I don't want people calling. I don't want people jumping to every damn conclusion there mind may think of just because they saw a picture that sparked a strong feeling inside them. It;s not my problem to keep you calm.....it's not my job to make you happy and keep your heart serene. It's not my responsibility to cover your eyes or ears or heart.
It's my job to give what has been given to me. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you can come knock on my door and ask questions which I do not have to answer. Or point your marshal law rifles in my face and force me to obey. I obey only one person.....and it certainly isn't anyone who knocks on my front door. The boss man has a key to the office, he doesn't knock.

Well....that was fun. I think I'll go find me some subjects to post pictures of anyway. Because I can.
Anything you can do I can do better....I can do anything better than you. (no, you can't), YES I CAN!!!!

Lol.....every time I think of that song I think of Donny Osmond and Elmo....they sang it on the Osmond show one day a long freakin time ago.
And then my mind wonders and I think of Joseph and the technicolor dreamcoat. Which I watched as well....and enjoyed it, lol. Which them reminds me of Les Mis since it's also a musical, which coincides with government intrusion.....oh dang, just can't escape can we.

Anyway.....go till up your garden and make it fertile for good seed....and let the bad seeds die away. I'm off to tackle some sewing work, because at this point, no matter if I sew all day, it's still not ever going to get done.



In the words of Horton, as he did everything to protect that speck.... "Even though you can't see them or hear them at all.....a person's a person, no matter how small."

Stitching us back together

The stars. That point of luminescent light that appears like a dot in the nighttime sky. The one you lock eyes with and zoom in and watch intently as it slowly begins to flicker ever so slightly...perhaps a flash of faint color. Is it even a star, a satellite perhaps? But you see it and there is nothing else when you look to it as it dances.
There was this book I looked up yesterday, and on amazon.com it will let you see a few pages inside it. So there was 2 or 3 pages that I read to see if this book was worth my time.....and then my mind was even more flipped upside down than it was just previously. A continuance of the spirit mind roller coaster I enjoyed just last week. I love how these things pile upon one another and like a child they point and go 'ooh, look, here's another one!'.
These....what do we call them....moments of time and events when you feel yourself being repaired so to speak. As we all are broken.....but these moments are when we feel one of the stitches mending us.
I think I might order this book, regardless of the $7 price tag attaches to it.
Now before, at the beginning of this roller coaster of healing......I was driving, to florida....it was a long drive indeed. But I just so happened to be flipping through radio channels, because thats what your supposed to do to keep entertained while driving for 9 hours. And out of the numerous stations, I stop on one...this christian radio station.....and you know I dislike christian music....at least 99% of it anyway. But I was lucky enough to hear someone who could sing and music that actually went with it all in the same song. Now I've heard this song before, but can't recall where/why/or why I can't recall it, but it was one of the 1% that I will stop to listen to. So I did.
Now while listening to this song, there were these signs along the freeway....I can't remember for the life of me what they were advertising, but they screamed out EXIT SOON, EXIT IS COMING, EXIT UP AHEAD, and so on and so forth for no less than 20 signs! Then there was this one on the other side of the freeway with Jesus on it....but I can't remember what it read, I think something about 'Have you made your decision?' or similar-ish....then those other signs were all like EXIT AHEAD, EXIT NOW, TAKE THE EXIT, EXIT EXIT EXIT!, DON"T MISS THE EXIT....and I found this rather intriguing to my simple minded self....I got a kick out of it, as they were advertising something lame really.
So anyway, that song was over and I begin flipping channels again, and came across Adrian Rogers sermon (ok, I'll admit, he's the only one I will choose to listen to if I had to) and he was talking about armor.
Not sure if I wrote about it on here, about the armor...and the helmet....and yeah...that stuff....but I found this and the song and the signs all exciting coincidences. Anyway, so I didn't take the exit off the freeway, as I wasn't even thinking about the actual exit ramp, lol...I was thinking more along the lines of exiting the world (or better worded, exiting being a part of the world (not like rapture junk)).... so Adrian goes on about fiery darts and very strange similar stuff that one of my adopted sisters talks about on youtube lately. So this freaks me out a bit, but I like it.
Now Anna (my adopted sister) just recently freaked me out regarding one of her videos that basically described the exact same thing in my head about the lamb in the thorns....and I was all like 'OMG!' (did I write about that here??? might have been on deviant art..hmmm) So this was all awesomesauce coinkidinkness!

So that book I read a few pages in....just added like the cherry on top...ok, no, I hate cherries...it added chocolate fudge....and now I'm trying to figure out how my brain is going to rewire itself with this new stitch in it.

So did I tell you what I found yesterday? of course, not I haven't written in forever!.... I solved all the problems in the world yesterday. Now the secret is not forgetting the resolution. I'm incorporating it.....and it;s going to be astounding....but a bigger word than that.

Let me tell you a story..... Once upon a time there was this little lamb. She pranced and danced in the fields while the sheep hurdled close to the shepherd....this little lamb ran to and fro and taunted the wolves that lingered near the forest edge. She was a happy little lamb, never afraid, never worried about getting eaten by the big bad wolves who always watched her playful prancing, hoping she'd fall and they could eat her.
Often times she would get lost, wonder too far away from the shepherd to where she couldn't see him. But he always came to find her and carry her back with him. Always patient was this shepherd. Often times she would get sick, and again her shepherd would find her frail and weak and carry her back to restore her. Often times she would dart in and out of the surrounding forest, sometimes in the dark, and again the shepherd would carry her back out to the daylight. Often times this lamb would just sit and grumble and avoid even looking at the flock, but the shepherd didn't mind, he would carry her so she wouldn't have to deal with those clumsy sheep.
Then one day....the lamb wondered too far into the forest. And there were briars...twisted thorns, darkness and shadows. Tangled vines. She was trapped. If she called out, the wolves would hear her and devour her. If she tried to escape the vines would pull tighter and she'd be entwined in a snare. If she tried to jump out, the thorns would cut her. The lamb laid down silent and waited. The shepherd would come. He would know she was trapped, he would come. He would find her and free her and carry her back out into the sun.
It took quite awhile, but the shepherd came. As always he smiled as he carried her back out into the field and into the sunshine. Ever patient is this shepherd, especially with this little lamb.
But now something was different after being freed from the thorns and briars and vines.... the shepherd carried her back with him but soon she was rolled into something else.... 'please don't turn me into one of those sheep' she thought. The shepherd smiled. She was rolled into something else....and placed into a pod... this pod was dark and warm and moist? There was some light that lightly smeared itself across the membrane around her. Sounds....although muffled echoed from the beyond. What is this?
The lamb was no longer a lamb....she looked at herself and could see hands, and feet and a nose, ears, slight hair upon her head....knees, elbows. What is this?! She was a child. A child in the womb, and she was growing fast and this pod was getting smaller....lights, sounds, what is this? There was darkness and shadows, but she was not afraid of them. The walls of her pod were getting smaller, but she is not afraid of them...the shepherd put her here, the shepherd will carry her out. But would he still be a shepherd then? Or a father?
She tilts and things squeeze tighter.... something will happen soon with this little child. And she is not afraid.

So you know where I'm at currently.....and I'm waiting for Anna to post something related to the womb...but so far all I've gotten is stuff about crowning, and completeness, and stitching, and stuff like that....close, but I prefer freak out stuff, naturally.


So have you ever went to see fireworks at Magical Kingdom in Disney World? They are pretty cool and all, but what is not so cool is when adults are piling up in the front blocking the view from smaller kids who keep getting pushed into the back so they are unable to see. Or worse, when there's a small space for a little kid to stand, and when the parent says to step in front so they can see...a larger taller kid steps up theirself after hearing someone else was going to move forward..... Or when taller adults press past others so they can get a good picture of a part of the parade, because they have a fancy camera.... I will never do this...its just a parade, really people? These were the only idiots I saw in the parks...besides the one mom who was angry because her kid was hot and tired...well duh lady it is hot and even I'm tired, lol. Get a grip.
So the whole entire idea is that people are denying others a gift so to speak. Denying them. Denying them access, denying them respect, love, kindness.....denying them. People are denying others access to things that are gifts. People even deny themselves gifts.... and this is the world's problem's all wrapped into one. -- People deny themselves love, and they dislike themselves, or doubt or feel unworthy...they are denying themselves love, denying themselves acceptance. therefore they are denying their spirit what it needs, they are denying gifts, denying God. They are standing in the way of the light, just like those adults are standing in the way of the children who weren't tall enough to see the fireworks. They are shadows... they have denied themselves and denied the light and refuse to let it shine past themselves. People deny others those same gifts of love and acceptance. 'You are a bad boy, you're not trying hard enough, don't do that, no, stop, do as I say, so on and so forth...they are denying freedom, denying acceptance, denying love. They do it to themselves, others, even their own children. they are again denying the light to shine past themselves for someone else.
Step out of the way. Do not deny yourself love. Do not deny anyone else that same love. Be the beacon.
This is how the world's problems are solved. Do not deny it.


Anyway....frequencies are awesome....even though I have yet to figure out how to alter a low one to a high one, or vice versa....you can only predict the future so far ahead, but not in detail when you consider frequencies. I might be on to something.

The boss man said that my very good friend is awesome!!! :) This is good news. Deposit for rental house has been gathered, good news again. Motorcycle sold, good news, kids will most likely get their green belts this week, good news even though those pads are expensive. More sales sewing wise are on the horizon, also good news. Told you it was going to be a great week, solved the world's problems and everything :) can't wait to be born!! Lol. yeah I know you think I'm nuts and have no clue what I mean :)


I'm sure there's more to share, but it will have to wait, I need to go cook dinner and then get to sewing work work and edit some pics later tonight :) FUN!