Star seeds, but not like that

Allow yourself the shit you want.
Yes. The trips. The vacations.
The vacuumers, the gopro, the cars, the trucks, the food.
The 4runner, the waterbottles, the watercolor markers...
The books, the flowers, the pool.
The relationship, the kids, the friends, the career.
The wealth, the freedom, the wisdom, the flexibility.
The grace, the patience, the clarity.
ALL the things. Anything....everything.

Buy them, save for them, budget for them, create them, borrow them.
Whatever it is.
Allow yourself to have them. Experience them. Be them.

______________

So I'm working on book 7 in my head, right...
and it's kinda got this theme of asking for support...
but, we all know dragons like to do things themselves....
it's easier that way...
cause other people barely understand themselves, much less you.

and waiting for them to initiate some cool life shaking fun exciting expenditure....
doesn't seem to happen.... ever...
unless you prod them long enough to get them to fall off the ledge...
and that's not very nice...
     (*stands there holding poker stick with a devious smile)

neither is leaping and watching them fumble to try and catch you...
but at least you get to take the leap

but what is life without the joy of chaos
what good is the good without the devil playing banjo in your head
What purpose is there if you only walk in the light, or only the dark, or only the shade.
I tend to like them all.
I might be the villain in most stories...
only to inadvertently be the hero by default.

But we gotta just claim the kingdom...
Maybe you can work your way up to the top...
Maybe you can patience yourself long enough so you die before reaching your goals.
... and maybe you don't have to.
You just keep choosing to.

Choose different
___________
__________________
_________________________


Body is still waiting to see if we're gonna let her do the thing.... which we are, but Mind and Brain are lagging on the initiation.

Mind is consumed on an art piece idea and what it needs to bring it all together.... She's getting mad that we keep trying to use her for other projects.

Brain is fascinated at the gopro and the reasons why we didn't purchase one sooner...and is analyzing that whole scenario to be able to avoid any and all delays at all costs next time.... but also is aware that it wouldn't have felt the same had it not had the momentum and clarity like it currently does.

The Kid is painting stars on the train. She doesn't give a rip about what the rest of us are doing. The Alchemist is helping her... ( O_O ...he has paint on his uniform... O_O ... I don't think he knows yet)

The Overseer is still just watching. Being suspiciously quiet.

Ego is doting all over herself today, if you couldn't already tell from all the "I" 's up above. She deserves it though....she was the one who brought the whole gopro and vacuumer and all the other things to our attention....and in turn they have all been hugely beneficial.
This is why we keep saying to love your ego and trust her. She knows her shit.
*Ego nods at our acknowledgement.

Soul is looking forward to see if traveling will be a possibility next fall...(cause Ego keeps shoving this obvious adventure in all our faces). and if the thing that shall not be named is gonna be still a thing for the public... and Soul mentioned a few things this morning which the Overseer was horrified at...but that's her job... so... they are in some mental convo about it. Pretty sure I'm fucked, everyone eventually agrees with Soul.

____ ___
and who am I in this mess of perspective anomalies?... good fucking question...the witness perhaps?
I usually jump into Soul a lot... but she's being too love and light lately...and I don't like it, lol.
Maybe my shadow self or something. Who knows, but I feel like home here.
   (*all the villains raise your hands up!)

I really shouldn't divulge myself into all these aspects....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
but alas... I don't 'should' (or 'shouldn't') on myself.

so long as we all are still on the same train <3


.

___________

Today is planning day!
Not as in setting a schedule or goal list or anything stupid like that...
but basically clarity for focus and manifesting...
The Alchemist says this train goes wherever you want it to...
and since we are the pit stop at the moment...
He's trying to get me to choose some sort of destination...
not that we'll ever reach it in particular...but we'll learn a whole hell of a lot on the way.
And he knows that. And I know that.
And as I walk over to the train track board....
it's this jumbled mess of dashed lines....and we are at some hub that connects to a ton of other stuff...
I have no idea what I'm even looking for.... ugh.
Which is exactly why it is planning day.

I'll let you know what bullshit thing I decide on...
and how often we end up going on side quests!
And all the stuff we get to learn on the way! Yay!


____
____
____}
____
____

I asked him for a quote....cause I like to come back and read the stuff he says...
he glances over at me from the side of the train where the kid is painting.

"Tell them not to expect much wiggle room from you."

"What does that mean?" I ask in return.

"You wrote 'flexibility' earlier, yes? Might want to retract that comment. Trains don't wiggle. They stay on course... and so will we."

... he says it so serious like... ew.

"No side quests?" I snicker.

He doesn't reply...
shit...
a sudden fear of having no relaxation or procrastination wells up...

"What is procrastination?" The Alchemist picks up on my thought.

"Postponing stuff." I mention.
he glares my way... I quickly go to look it up in etymology...
"Belonging to tomorrow...." I comply accurately.

"And where are we?" He adds on, cause he's a boss at eradicating shitty vibes.

"Now. Today. Here." I answer.

"Good." He nods, glancing back to the stars on the train.
 
He still doesn't notice the streak of paint on his sleeve.

"It's a good place to be." He adds.

He's watching the Kid paint, completely enveloped and at one with her task.
There's nothing but the 'now' for her. Always 'now'.

"Go plan." He yanks me out of thought. "Thoughts are for later."

________
_______________________


thoughts are always for later... or for before......
It's all peace and stillness in the now... but the action is the effect of that stillness...
like some universal law of correspondence and cause and effect.
I get it.
I get it.

Grafitti on the walls

I spent much of the day(s) waiting for a moment of clarity...
mostly on how to write a post on FB or here on this blog...
that didn't sound bluntly rude...or too critical.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

I think we all understand though.
There's nothing that says 'nice' about anything that drifts from my thoughts.
Fuck nice.
And seriously though... can we just say fuck it to the whole 'pretending to be' thing too.

One of my sorta recent new fb friends wrote something the other day...
"Make art that cuts through all of the pretending."

Even if we know some parts of the world and people are pretend...
it is beyond obvious
Everyone is a pretender.

Some of us step out of it from time to time...
only to appear insane, because we don't conform.
Some of us are bluntly rude and critical too.
Some of us, try to write words that mean what we want to portray....
but can't possibly write a disclaimer for every sentence,
knowing that something in it will get misconstrued or taken personally.

So we can decide not to write... not to make art...
Or we can decide to do it anyway.
And also choose not to explain....
because only pretenders need to explain so their facade won't be uncovered.


____
Art project(s) planned.... need to find some reference photos for one of them
and something to tie in the others...

Some cool ideas floating around

The train is at a pit stop...
I still don't know what's going on.

I find it rather strange I HAVE to go to tik tok to get the 'not as fake' news.
All this pretending...

_________________


.

Something I DO already have... a Guy Fawkes mask <3

Nice.

I have a sudden urge to wear pirate clothes too.... but alas...
I do not own a whole outfit of such ... yet

_________________________
___________________________________
_________________________________________________
___________________________________
_________________________

fyi - WW84 sucked.
I mean, I like the idea of wonder woman and all, and Gal does her role just fine...
but...
DC writers are completely awful...
and if it wasn't so sexist and overdone on the 80's cliche shit...
and maybe there was an actual story line and plot... a believable one anyway...
it could have been something worthwhile...
even Chris Pine was some random side character with no real supportive role...
ugh...

it's a strong pass.

_______________


_____________



Body is doing well. She's eager about something that Mind and Brain and Ego mentioned for some reason that makes no sense whatsoever..... Soul says she gets to try it out anyways... cause we love her.

Mind is stretching and trying to reach new aetherlands and such... we haven't told her that it's not her job, but she's still having fun with her efforting.

Brain is all good and just wants to research images for the art project.... and is slightly dismayed we will have to 'people' on Tuesday.

Ego is doing well and is beyond grateful that we stick up for her like a BOSS and don't throw her under the rug like the rest of the world does to their egos. She says they are all fucked up and we can hang out forever and have some 'real' fun.

The Kid is wanting to paint the art project. 'Cause it's gonna have stars on it.' she says. And she's aware it's also something way beyond that.... but she's giggles and says 'and they're gonna like it too.'
She said that with a gleam of suspicion and ... intimidation.......
and maybe she's been talking to Ego too long...
wait...
What?!!
.....
The Alchemist.                  O_O oh fuck...


The Overseer is sitting with us, kinda just joined into our little group here. She's just starting to feel comfortable around us hooligans. She hasn't said anything or tried to direct us toward anything in particular. She feels a part of us, so that's a good thing. Soul is making sure she feels welcomed.

Soul is smiling, which easily implies that she is planning something outrageous and insane. She won't tell me yet, but she knows that I know that she is up to something. yay.

_______

)))))))))))))))

__________
_______________



_____________


_______________




"When do pirates dress up?"
The Alchemist asks... beckoning me to answer it, whilst he intervenes abruptly after.
"Or how long do the rebels decide to where their masks?"
He glances my without turning his head.
"Since when do the patriots hide among the victims?"
...
is there even a correct answer to these questions?... my thoughts slingshot sideways.

Pirates never dress up. They are who they are. And who they are is true.

Rebels don't pretend and play along like good little sheep.

Patriots are not victims....nor do they hide.

The Alchemist turns to me, walking my way, even if it was a whole two steps.
He leans close.
"And Artists? Writers? Do they wait for the art, or the words? Or do they create them?"
He doesn't smile, but his eyes know his words smothered the shit vibration I had.
He steps past me, satisfied.

I turn to follow his path. The Kid races over to him and grips his hand, probably far too roughly, but she's happy. He doesn't respond, other than letting her yank on his wrist.
"Where are you going?" I ask as the Kid pulls him away to another train car.
He doesn't answer. The Kid giggles and rushes away with him, also avoiding the entire question.
I quickly veer around to Soul.
She widens her eyes and smiles. Colors. ...
they are painting... of course...but I know the kid only has the walls of the train right now...
soo... I look deeper.
"Not the inside..." Ego sings out quietly from the side.

something about this train. grafitti. art. words.
fuck...
grafitti etymology means 'to write'
and ...all the things... too much to write here.
I can't even go through this entire train etymology story and the things the Alchemist says...
like damn boi... knowing is one thing...
living it...
is something else entirely.

Descriptions are for the imaginativeless

 There's these fluctuations. Where the momentum propels you forward...
even without knowing what you are doing...or why...
and moments of being completely okay with propelling ourselves off this train.
Both are good... and both are acceptable. and both are allowed...
and both are the right answer.
so... *sigh...
here we are.

We've arranged with some perfect insights that the parts we don't want to do
don't have to be tended to.
And the parts we enjoy, are all that's necessary.
Simple as it is, it's still relevant and precise at maintaining alignment.
We've discovered that nothing outside of us...
even if in some views it could be beneficial... is also not needed...
and this declares with divine authority that we are everything we need.
We are everything we need.

And we know this when we allow ourselves to fall from the train.
From ourselves and all the thoughts in our mind.
And we know this by letting the train do the work...
and we just enjoy the ride.

I may be on the bar car with the Alchemist too...
and while he's merely just watching the train wreck in my thoughts...
he's enjoying the process of whatever all of this supposed to be...
something I am not privy to.
but I guess we're still on track.... :P

__________________

I had a dream last night and I remember rushing to wake up my hubs (in the dream)...
and I woke him up in a rush to tell him a piece of a random conspiracy theory...
that this might be a possibility...and that just so he knows... I called it.
and now...I can't remember what it was...
but certainly my subconscious was onto something... I remember her fervor and excitement...
ugh...
I asked the hubs if he remembered what I told him in my dream...
he said no... :(
well...I DID call it... and maybe I'll remember it later...

_________________


.

 

Let's remind you how Tangled ended.
With Rapunzel reunited with her family. Her birthright reclaimed.
Flynn Rider by her side.
Yeah, she also went natural, had a thing for the sun, and never ever lost sight of the magic.
The kingdom regained their heritage and heiress.
The witch fell from the tower and into dust.
And in the end, all the healing came from within.

It was the witch that led Rapunzel down the path to fear, when she locked her up in the tower.
Down the path of fear, when she said that love wasn't real.
The path of fear, when the truth was covered by lie, after lie, after lie.

And who is the witch in your story?
What lies are they telling you?
Who are you REALLY?
Who and what do YOU love?

Rapunzel had to fight her captor.
Even claiming, "I won't stop. For every minute of the rest of my life, I will fight."

Because once she realized and she saw the light... and she really knew...
that we do not have to be a part of some social construct... a constructed tower... where we are placed on bottom....or anywhere...
We do not have to live in fear. or choose it... or even listen to a shred of it.
That we are free, we have everything we need, we have all the support, all the abundance, all the love, all the healing, all the knowledge and wisdom available to us all the time... and that we get to choose those things....every minute for the rest of our lives...
And our kingdoms...and our thrones...and...and...

...so fight....

I want to see you in your glory...beautiful humans...


_____

I like that movie.

Anyway...
doing a puzzle later!
and having pizza
yay!

random posts ...

 "What is here, is there.
What is not here, is not there."

There's nowhere for you to get to.
Everything you have is right now...
because that's all we ever have anyway.

Mindset/Manifestation Experiment #17

Just tell yourself that you've got the thing.
You've got the money, the job, the thing, the relationship, the opportunity.
You've got it now...and it's feels like _____.

Self speak your way to falling into the feeling of the desire.
"I really love having my bank AND wallet full of cash!"
"This job is my dream and I am so excited to be here!"
"I knew this thing would make my life so much easier!"
"I am so fulfilled in this incredible relationship!"
"I get to do this thing!

Don't get too specific, but allow the general feelings to embrace you.
Let your words be simple, to the point, and always uplifting.
The excitement, the joy, the bliss, the ease, the comfort, the energy itself.
Leave the hesitant doubtful words that your mind tries to throw in, in the 'not gonna say it' pile...'cause I'm feeling way too awesome!'
Allow the energetic amplifying words and phrases space in your mind and body (emotions) to have their way with you. (Not in that way! LOL)
Spend time to cultivate this feeling of already having the thing you desire.
Even just 15 minutes a day, before bed, when you wake up, whenever feels good.

Is this faking it til you make it? NO.
Because you've already got it, you are simply tuning to the channel that is playing that desire.
You're the radio... and you have all the stations.
You just can't hear the ones you aren't tuned to... but they are there..
Once you lock into a new channel, you tune to it. You receive the music you want, the desires you want, all the things.
Tune to it enough and it gets put on the playlist or left there... and you can play whatever wonderful music you want all day, every day.

_______________
____________________________

Can we just stop waiting or blaming the fucking planets...and there alignment or lack thereof...

when or how or why we do things.
Can we just own up to our success or our shit...and take responsibility for it ourselves?
The portal of some day that opened in the cosmic realms didn't convince you to take the step...
you're only using that as any excuse.
We don't need excuses!
We don't need to explain or reason our way around any fucking thing.
We choose and we move.
We decide and we fucking act.
Sometimes our words fumble across the floor and you trip over them. But Mercury didn't do shit to you... it's just what happened and guess what.
You can pick yourself up and gather your words and rearrange them... all good. There's no egoic signature on the bottom that says you're a fuck up.

____________
___________________

Maybe we've bought into that argument about how the ego is evil.
And maybe it's not as true as you may think it is.
Maybe killing off a part of yourself would be beneficial if someone wanted to divide and conquer a soul...
But....there's something to be said for who our Ego really is.
Who he/she really is, is the part of ourselves that goes forth as the conqueror.
The protector, the guide. The one who relays to our souls what we like, what we don't.
The part that fully invests into this physical reality, boldly going to bring us back the fruits of our time here.
Certainly our Ego can be unbalanced at times...when it yanks us too hard one way or another.
Or when it's being overprotective, out of an underlying fear, or unhealed experience.
Certainly....it's doing what she's created to do...to protect us, to guide us...maybe overdramatically so, and wrecks havoc as she goes on a warpath striving to get what you've denied her.

But....
A balanced Ego.
The beauty of this full beingness, full awareness. This wonderful aspect of ourselves.
She's a fucking warrior.
She leads us forward without fear. She knows she doesn't have to cling or strive for anything. But she's the goddess, the queen. And none of her desires will pass her by.
They might even be delivered.
But she serves, and is served. She is fire, and warmth, and heat.
Burning those who handle her carelessly....
Yet...
Glory to those who understand.

Take her hand. Bring her out of the shadows where you've placed her.
Care for her. Allow her. Heal her.
And maybe... when you choose to stop slaughtering yourself...
You heal too.
And so does your world.

____________
_______________________


Let's make truth popular.

and I'm not talking about the truth out there... the ideas and beliefs we pick up and debate over until we decide on whatever view feels comfortable to us at the time.
I'm talking about inner truth.
The knowing of who we really are.
The real truth that we are allowed to decide NOT to choose from only the options presented to us.
We get to create our own.
And when we change, we can change those truths as well...
and there's never a need to justify, explain, reason, or fight to do get to do that.
We are the truth, our own truth.
And it's the only one that matters. <3

_________________________

_____________________________________

Just stuff that's happening...

 The Universe is on the ball.
Or the Alchemist....
either way, ask and you shall receive just got thrown my way before I was prepared to catch anything.
so...it feels like I got smacked in the face.
THIS is instant (or not even a whole day) manifestation...

and this is what happens when you tell colors how pretty they are...
not even joking.

...so...yeah...
I'm not feeling prepared to handle the onslaught of this new toolkit...
but from the way the Alchemist is glaring at me...
the illusion of a choice is not at all going to be a reality.

F*CK!!!

The Alchemist, turns and walks away, with only a slight nod.
Barely enough for me to know that he expects me to follow through...
because after all... I implied that I needed this 'thing'.
and he dropped it in my lap

so...   yeah....

___________
__________________
_______________________

Nellis AFB... Hoover Dam...Chinese

just so I can say...that you saw it here first!

and btw... the hoover dam (being broken) is on the money. The US $50 bill.
The old one shows the dam whole... the new ones show it broken with water
fyi.
in case you didn't know, the twin towers, the federal building are also on the money and it was printed before the actual events.
the tsunami and the underwater missile is still tbd
but I called that for New York harbor a few years ago from an underwater submarine.
there's still time

___________
_________________
________________________


two days later... cause I'm a boss at doing what I want...

hehe......ugh
So he's letting me write my own course on the course I need.
because he said it works the same way...
but I have to still 'DO' it...
... I wish this blog let me post gifs... cause I have a few.

I'm also floundering about getting way ahead of myself...
and I luckily caught it...mostly before it got out of hand and threw my energy for a tailspin.
So....yay for awareness.

and I totally remembered that I have the backdoor keys and don't have to go through the front gates where all the people are...
so whew!  *wipes forehead and breathes

_________


____________
so Christmas is finished... and now we wait for it to get over with..
Still have an art piece to paint... I'll do it tomorrow.

I'm missing the use of my pool too

Otherwise... things...

I really like my boots I bought too.

Feeling rushed now... so Imma go and do the bird sitting thing...
and then relaxing thing

posts...not for you

We all travel our worlds. Each finding our paths, at least the ones that seem to get us there for now.
Sometimes switching lanes, switching directions, moving about like a ship at sea.
We linger at times, not having a set course. Other moments we power forward with an intent to reach our selected destination.
We are always free to move about and change our minds, change our goals, change our intentions.
And some days, we forget that. Getting caught up in the stream and being towed.
This is a great thing when we want to move that way, or similar to that way... benefiting from the support and momentum.
Not so friendly when it's pulling us away from our true desires...and we forget that we can steer the ship.

I want to talk about freedom. Our freedom to choose, to plot our own courses, to move toward what calls us...or simply to throw anchor and chill for as long as we feel the need.
I want us all to know that we can reach a place within ourselves that empowers us to be our own captains, and sail our own ships (or yachts :) ).
We get to choose. We were born to become the captain. Allowed to be all that we are and go where we will and sail the seas unending.

Stepping into a place of clarity and desire can make the seas not so challenging.
Moving toward a mindset of allowing and ease can make our direction clear.
And embodying the freedom of taking the wheel to bring our selves there.

This is what I want for every single one of us.
To become. To allow. To breathe. To live fully, abundantly, and most of all, free.

I personally relate to art. More specifically colors. More specifically the feelings that they evoke.
I feel the same with the sunshine in the early mornings. The water droplets on baby leaves. Kittens, lol.
Sharing how those things engage us with our worlds allows room for us to attune to a dimension that is one of allowing and enrichment. How even appreciating simple colors for a day can bring your manifesting game to the Superbowl.

Creating our lives is like creating a mix and blending of our souls. A dance of colors, of the energy of what they call forth from us.
And taking part in their dance...can lift our eyes into our own freedom, our own clarity, and our own alignment with our highest selves.

So yeah. This is what I do. This is where I walk. I'm just a tour guide...and the only rules here are to be kind, open, supportive, amazing...all the good things.

...plus some more I deleted, because it's only for my biz page.

______________

______________________

We don't have to make it a difficult thing to receive money.
We don't have to join in that whole 'hard work' and 'sacrifice' rhetoric.
We don't have to comply to the 'how to' rule book that the previous world fed you.
We don't have to play a game that is more beneficial to the game masters, than the players.
Let's write our own novel about the ways we get to receive money.
Let's choose for ourselves which games we play and how we play them.
Let's play for the fun of it...and still get a shit ton of cash.
Let's work for the joy of the purpose, and delete the whole idea, the whole thought...of struggle.
We are meant to thrive.
So thrive.

It's not a secret...and even if it were...
I'm a boss at making sure you've got the goods...the pass codes...the backdoor keys.
And truthfully...you have everything you need right NOW.
You own this theater of wealth.
Walk into it and stop paying for a ticket to the shitshow.


_______

__________

Choose your favorite color...
Now look around and notice that color around you...

See how long you can go this day and tomorrow complimenting it.

"Hey! Purple, I see you over there looking all gorgeous like!"
"Looking good, Green. Beautiful as always!"
"Blue...my heart. You've got it all, my love."
"Wow Red! Fantastic glow you've got there!"

This energy of enhancing and appreciating something so simple...
CAN and WILL amp up your vibe and manifesting game like a BOSS!
Start generally complimenting random colors...and amp it up even more.

Focusing on something you don't have any resistance to creates momentum and FLOW
and once you get rolling with it and start telling the rocks what a great shade of 'earth' they are...
Amazing things begin flowing your way.

Try it out for a few days.
This is one of the easiest ways to move stuck and stagnant energy.

_______
_____________

Training... a train... ?

 No one ever said that Dyson stick vacuumers sound like futuristic laser blasters.
Like dude... I would have brought one home long before now, had I known that!
You have no idea how THAT would have sealed the deal alone.
I mean picking up stuff from the floor is great and all...
but ... it sounds like a laser blaster.
I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!


Let me tell you what else I love!
Allowing all of myself.

and the wheel, and the rotation
and all the things, big and little
and water, and the forest
and ten bajillion other instances
and becomings

_________________________

I recently was offered a publishing contract
but I am declining the offer...
thanks, I guess, but no thanks!

We have recently become certified and accredited for spiritual life coaching
and currently progressing to get certified for other practices
we got pushed onto this whole jumbo jet train by the Alchemist...
not that there's a complaint in any of this..
but it kinda was not anything like I was expecting...nor would outright choose...


The Overseer popped her little head in yesterday...
and we heard her pleas, but smothered them out quickly.
I'm thinking this girl is like how Ego is often times portrayed (by others, not by me, we love Ego!)...
....as something to destroy...
and although she's causing more problems than in any way helpful...
I feel a bit of compassion for her.
We may take her in.
...in other words... alchemize and transmute her into being with us, instead of against us.
So... there's that... her concerns were legit for her perspective... but she can't see what Soul sees if she's standing in the dark...
And Soul says we need to go find her and give her a hug...

.

I have 1 dress to sew and all it's appliques...
and I really am not going to dribble around here all day
...really...

word for the day....
'don't wait, do it now if you can'
delayed trains go out of commission, or other ways,
and make the passengers upset...
and you're the passenger, yo.

hahahahaha!
I guess I can go cut out and sew a dress...

fuck




__________________________


meatburglers lie in wait until the sun is high, so they can blind you with their multimillion dollar spatulas and toasted tomato toppings. use your shields of bread to deflect their onslaughts...and when they get close... snatch them up into a glorious feast of delectable protein.





____ ___ ___ ___ ___ __ __ __ __ _ _ _ _

I just typed in the title to this post...because I always do that last...
and I'm like wtf! O_O
because the Alchemist is (not) trying not to laugh so fucking hard about this whole analogy
I MADE UP
about getting pushed onto the train...
BUT IT IS THE WHOLE POINT
and I swear I'm not doing it to myself....
and he's like...
"I like your train of thought."
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
WHY?!
"I got you back on track...that's all."
he smiles because he KNOWS I both love and hate puns....
especially when I MADE IT ALL UP... and he's the one ...
"...pulling you along..." He laughs.   ('train' in etymology means to pull;draw)
"...into that whole drawing...coaching thing...?" He shrugs with a huge smirk...
AAAH!!!!  
"And guess what?" He smiles like the devil...
...I can't even... I glare at him..
"Guess who the conductor is?" He closes his eyes...awaiting my eventual realization.

FUCK!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

I throw a fit in the aetherland... while the Alchemist devours joyfully in my 'knowing what I know' tantrum

"You didn't think she showed up out of the blue for nothing, eh?" He jests.
....
I go look up the etymology...(because I am obsessed)
- to bring together...
- one who leads or guides
- having the power or property of leading

I cradle my head in my hands...
I am on this thing and the Overseer is the conductor...

He steps up beside me...
"It was just a little push... want to jump off?" He asks...
I peer out from behind a finger... the train is moving... fast... really fucking fast...
The momentum is not waning, in truth, it's gaining speed...
I did say a jumbo JET train..

He smiles... again pleased with his efforts.

He turns and walks off.
"There's a bar car." He reminds me, happily, satisfied... a small snicker under his breath...



sigh...

and maybe this whole train is me... the cars, the people, all the things...
and we ride together, our perceptions dependent on which car we are riding in at the time
...and this Overseer... she's where we all think we want to be...
But we just need her to be a part of us... so we can see her car... we need to know what she's doing and where she's taking us...
We need her too...

who's in the bar car? I wonder...
ugh... probably Ego... She's celebrating right now...
of course

of fucking course...
<3

DO NOT SIGN UP FOR EMPATHIC ABILITIES

 Want to see something fucking crazy...

...

.

 

 

 

That was my welcome screen as I opened this fucking laptop... (it shows random images..at random)
Ok...so either facebook and windows are in cahoots...
as well as with blogger.com...
Or the Universe is going fucking crazy!
YAY!

Cause today was fucking crazy.
and the fucking fucking fucking empath bullshit I have to deal with is incredulous!

Look... I KNOW absolutely for sure this is another one of those fucking shift upgrades
And I KNOW all the things and all the feels and all the processes
and I KNOW it's all fucking good...

but good fucking god...
I got nothing done today... without a bit of effort on my part
I did get my fucking dyson ordered... but not from the place I was planning to get it from.
I did do a few minor tasks, not including the yard stuff I was gonna do......
ugh....intentions are fuckers.

I feel fucking great! That I ordered the dyson and the vessi's and the shirt from zulily, and I bought some courses for the fun of it.
And I feel fucking great! That I KNOW empath bullshit is only temporary and I can kill people another day. And I KNOW whatever fucking upgrade we're going through is gonna be so fantastic that I get that fucking fantastic monetary match to go with it.

I just want to fucking SCREAM!!!!

_________

In the meantime...while I'm expanding into fucking awesomeness fuckery...
Sao Paulo must be in this same weird funky vibrational zone.
And shit is literately getting thrown at me...
I'm glaring at the Alchemist like he's a fucking bitch
asshole did not say it was going to be this kind of bitch fuckery I'd have to deal with.

That asshole is fucking laughing.
ARGH!
He likes to see me mad. 

there is not enough emojis I can possibly post to express my disdain and huge temper tantrum I'm throwing.

He slaps me on the back shoulder... hard. A huge smirk on his little grubby ass face.
"You'll be fine." He mentions causally, as if nothing means nothing means nothing.

"I want my paycheck." I clarify...harshly.

He leans back in his chair. Kicks his feet up on this imaginary desk...
"You just spent it on all that crap you ordered. It'll be here, what...next Wednesday..." He smiles.

I scream. Cause he's fucking right.
______________

____________________________

______

____________

_____________________________

______

__________________

_________________________

___

Hey! Imma go take a hot shower and hang with the Alchemist for a little bit
He makes me laugh... at myself... but still... it's the thought.

:)

Dark Knights don't follow the rules

 We are sufficiently getting some things done and a whole lot of NOT


I had this dream last night ...
We were in Sao Paulo, Brazil.
... and there was a walking parade group handing out little crispy horn-like crackers...
    (not like bugles... but if those were stretched longer and way way skinnier... and they were tan)
and they'd hand them out to people saying if you eat them you ask for forgiveness for a sin or something..

So I was handed some and ate them
     (they do just crunch easily and taste pretty good... assuming dream tastes are similar)
anyway, I hate them and was like...

"Forgive me for the times when I act like a jerk."
        LOL  because I couldn't think of a damn thing!
all the people there thought that was lame, but I swear I couldn't recall anything I needed 'forgiven for'

...sooo yeah... I was clearing out the hotel room at this rather luxury hotel (we had 2 rooms, yo!)  
    and I was going to bail on the group of people/family I was with and not tell them.
   they were planning to drive 11 hrs or something...
   but I was not going to join them and take a plane instead, cause I'm not stupid...
    and I was done with their vibe.
One of my friends there said, that it would be scary to go alone, cause she'd get lost.
   I said, "I'm not scared. I've been to L.A..."
     (like that means anything at all *insert eye roll)

So... Sao Paulo... which I kept calling 'San Paulo'...
   WHICH in fact is the same exact thing, just different languages... for the win! (Saint Paul of Tarsus)

I kept trying to look it up on my phone in my dream and I was upset that google wouldn't let me
as it didn't understand what SAN Paulo even was... *sigh
   but I was spelling it correctly in dreamland.. for once!

AND now that I just wrote this out, I'm thinking it has something to do with St. Paul...
As in St. Paul Minnesota... the twin cities... (20 20)
You saw it here first, if anything happens regarding asking for forgiveness...or crackers....

(I wonder if their election was rigged... ssshhh  )

__________

so that was fun... I got to travel, see a rather gorgeous dreamland city, with a fancy hotel, friendly parade people, I got forgiven for being a jerk, had some cracker horn things, walked with a friend, and got to use my phone...


__________________

__________________

__________________

Your authority is not something you need to ever negotiate.
There's nothing outside of you that requires you to hand it over.
And even if you have, it's refilled every moment.
Authority belongs to you, flows through you.
It's something that comes to you freely...unending...
You can hand it out all day every day, 
but you don't have to give it away.
You get to keep it and use it for yourself if you choose
And there's nothing to justify about it, to anyone, ever.

There's appreciation for you rule keepers. Those of you who assert that this line is the correct one, for those who don't know.
And there's appreciation for you rebels. Those who devour the barriers and constraints, for those who know better.
We can be wild, we can be free.
We can be safe in the zoo too...with all that free food...
Both places can be nice at times, and both can be not so nice at times...
We all can play in between the two too.
But you get to choose.
Don't let anyone choose for you.
You're the author...and it comes from you, through you, into being.

PS: Don't be a jerk and spew it over others. They don't have to listen to you.

_______

________

.

Batman doesn't follow anyone else. He does his own thing.
He maintains his authority...
    (and I am in no way whatsoever condoning Ben Afl-ACK playing a good batman)
                      (why don't I own a batman costume...hmm?)


_____________________________



I got hired for a job...and I don't think I can do it...
like I don't want to do a certain aspect of it...
or...can't do it... so there's that...
conundrum...




for some more weirdness...
my grandma dropped by last night.
Yeah...
okay then...
She says hello. Asked how everyone was doing.
I asked if she was coming back.
She sighed and begrudgingly said...'probably'
'but not yet. I'm trying to talk them out of it.'

I'm assuming her council/guides/whatever are getting on her ass...
Lol.

I have no idea.

But if someone becomes pregnant next year in my family....
you've probably got my grandma in you!!

just saying... O_O

you heard it here first.

____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________



I really should be working...



but I don't 'should' on myself.


OH wait!!
There was a second dream, I forgot until just now!!

I owned a raft. It was motorized. You could drive it with your phone.
And I left on the raft...but these people/family were with me until I could safely get to the Mississippi River. Then I had to say goodbye, and I hugged this guy and told him I would miss him.
Then left on my raft, but the river police wouldn't allow you to have more then 12 animals on your raft or something... and I was worried I had too many! LOL
I kept trying to think of how many pets I actually had on my raft, but I didn't know. Some other guy on his raft, let me put some of my pets on his, so I wouldn't get in trouble.
And the river was moving only because some monkeys and some deer/goats were at the beginning of the river, running, making the water move....  ???? idfk

Anyway...
Maybe that's why authority given to others is a bad thing.
I wasn't doing anything wrong or anything that negatively affected others.
Or affected others at all.  period...

Can we not play this game...
We are not against you.


_____________

_____________

So monkeys and kittens and bright colored mittens..
water and stackers and parades with small crackers..
Warm sunny days that melt your ice creams...
These are a few of my favorite dreams...

Bingo was his name-O

 SHUT THE FRONT DOOR

like... this path, or whatever one wants to call it...
is the shit.
the good shit, of course.
     (the kind that flows out, not too fast, not too slow..
          smooth, without all the chunks.
                 relieving kind...and leaving with you wondering what the heck you ate.)

besides the point

so random things... things we are not going to divulge
         (because the actual physical reality of it, is irrelevant...
                 and frankly moot.)
as the energy is just deciphered specifically for each individual...
These random things... appeared... not out of nowhere...but out of nowhere...
and they were here ALL ALONG.
   and that whole vibrational reality and receptivity of our frequency is spot on
 

and yes, we're being vague, cause we don't have to be anything else. HA!

___________________

AND

yes, there's an AND

A moment happened today... where you get fired up to respond to a facebook post.
   (but not the perceived bad kind!)
and we posted... but we was skerd cause maybe we were too passionate...
  but we weren't...
and the universe said it was just source building up inside you so you could express the fuck outta it.
   (and no.... we didn't elaborate on politics or anything like normal people...)
 So we had lots of likes.... (as if those mean anything...)
   because we got to explain eight grade quantum reality to third graders...
                   (disclaimer: not actual grades...just an analogy)
               (and we were glad our writing skills came out in a way that were understood)
...

in smaller words... we provided a clear and balanced perspective of 'ego' and how trying to kill it, is in no way at all helpful to anyone.
      (Please do not harm the egos)


____________

This is in fact the second blog post of the day.... but we gonna just let it hang out with the tab open for another day or so, lol... no use in thinking we are actually gonna write more often.

I'm busy proofing and editing screenplays right (write!) now. ;)

____________

___________

____________

_______________
_______________
_______________
_______________
_______________

I feel like a coach... and I'm not getting ____...
     (DOH!
                I just realized a HUGE thing I shifted the other day...
                People do not provide for me...
                The Universe provides for me... sometimes through people and sometimes other)

I advised two people today alone. And that doesn't include the instance I posted above.
...

____________

not procrastinating...but waiting until the invoice is paid, got some work to do...
cut out some canvas for 3 of the frames... and need more...
could probably go cook... kinda hungry
edited a screenplay yesterday and need to add a scene... but almost finished with that one.
then reread the other and make sure what was changed works

you know those times when you are just looking around at  all the things you want or should or could do...
but you aren't enticed to do any of them...
that's this place right now, lol

and I'm blatantly just writing to be writing, with nothing to really say.
good practice for the typing kill, I suppose.

__________________

So ...

Body is good and wants to eat simpler things. She just wants rice, and yogurt, and some meat. She's been whining when there's anything more than that on the plate...

Mind is not impressed by any of the tasks we've offered her. She wants a new toy to play with. I think it might be a dyson. ... 'Be sure to get that dishwasher too." she scowls at us.

Brain is tapping the schedule she laid out, trying to get us to initiate something towards the inevitable goal.

Ego is kinda thrilled that we called the Overseer a bitch and not her. We told her we wouldn't fire her, and she just feels all loved and shit. She's been complimenting Soul's ability to comment on facebook without sounding like a douche.

The Kid is taking a nap.

Soul is not worried at all about Brain's schedule and completely believes we will be ahead of schedule after we've sufficiently filled our very important laziness quota. She's been pondering some things and reevaluating some old beliefs. Probably will be a purge soon. That'll be fun.
________________

_______________

________________________

Day after....cause that's how we roll
____________________________________

"We should have something of our own..."
   She looks at us, as if we ever had answer for her.
Perhaps, child...
   But if we resonate with all the things we love...
how do we choose just one?
   How do you eat just one meal? forever?
Eat only at the same restaurant? forever?
   The same cuisine? Shall we only eat tacos? Only spaghetti? Only steak?

"How about...just me?"  She stares at all the creations...
               (not 'eat' her... gah!) (but create regarding her...ugh)
wtf...
WHAT THE FUCK!
She reminds me of two of my favorite people.
   The Christ and my son...

And we all glance at each other and simply...and without resistance... nod.

God, we love her.

Ego reminds us once again... that she's the one who found this little spirit.
We again acknowledge that...just to shut her up.

The Kid dances off with one of her stuffed creatures in her hand, flopping erratically.
Satisfied...
So easy to satisfy a child...
To satisfy us all.

_________________________________

So...
give in to your inner child.
GIVE IN
Give them whatever they want.
And it's best to do it sooner, rather than later...

And ...

give in to your children
GIVE IN
Give them whatever they want
And it's best to do it sooner, rather than later...

Or you can require obedience...
You can require they fill your needs first...
You can manipulate and hold something apart from them...

But you're only doing it to yourself... denying yourself like you deny them, like you deny heaven

So
Love your kids.
Love them.
Love yourself.
Love you.
Love all of you... which is all of the ALL.


____

_______
_________
___________}




I wasn't gonna post this one...
but now that we've gone all kid-friendly... lol
I get to.

________________________________________________________________



The 2020 bingo card is almost full...
the season finale is coming late next month...

I need one of these to win...

Alien Disclosure/Arrival    (they are already here...)
Asteroid Impact     (please kill us all)
Revolution/Civil War       (Patriots <3)
Shut Down of Media and Social Media   (gonna happen anyway eventually for an overhaul)
Country of Texas   (hope you like bugs)
Nesara/Gesara    (conspiracy, don't bother looking it up)
Murder for not wearing a muzzle    (aka a mask...self-explanatory)
Martial Law    (snitches get stitches)
Zombies   (not deer... people)
Food Shortages   (ummm....this may have already began)
Revelation   (yes)


Stay tuned for the next episode

___________________

____________________________

And something with tetrahedrons.... for Dec. 21, 2020
this is new...   
                            (yes, I was attempting to connect to my future self on that date... this is what I got
                                from myself...)  (of course... the transmission and receiver are different, because
                              reception is strange when actively doing this on purpose) (But more or less...
                                   it's a let down...so don't have high hopes about it.) (Things have shifted clearer)


     (The Tetrahedron represents the element of Fire and is linked to the Solar Plexus; the center for personal power and acceptance. It creates the natural balance between the physical and spiritual. Each side sits flat, no matter how it is turned, making it the perfect symbol for balance and stability.)
...

Balance, stability, power, acceptance, FIRE...
ok...

so the asteroid, LOL
The great reset? HA!
It is 2012 anyway... so maybe...
Hooray!
Why is this exciting?!

wait...the asteroid causing the reset!!
and then the food shortage causes the revolution... oh wait...
or causes zombies...
or the aliens... try to 'rescue' us...what's left of us...
but people are afraid and don't want to go with them cause they watched the movie where they get eaten

HaHA!!!

Sounds fun. Who else signed up for this skit here on earth at this time?

Dude....some dude just referenced Martial Law on the news channel...two seconds ago
because people are listening to the other people in charge... willingly..
pssh.... whatever...   not my circus

wait... maybe Trump does win and the election is overthrown...
Or doesn't... and Texas leaves the union.... so the reptilians can't control them/us.
wait...
I've lost track HAHAHAHAHA!
This is fun, bullshitting about the 2020 season finale...







___

Are Hawaiian's allowed to laugh loudly...
    Or just a low ha....?

We've killed the overlord

~ Overseer ~

noun: overseer; plural noun: overseers
person who supervises others, especially workers

____________________

This bitch....
let me tell you about her...

she likes those little words, the ones that come out all snide like
the ones that keep you cradled close to the small little things
only the things where you are kept in line
out of trouble
out of sight
out of mind...

saw her the other day...maybe a week ago
and she was dismissed.
this overseer... this over see-er....
who likes to tell you all the things she sees possible...
which in every case is a small piece of the universe...and she's also fucking blind.
so it wasn't much...
but we heard her little words and saw her little ruse...
fucking rule-followers...
there's no way to even describe the annoying perception I have of you.

and then we dismissed the rules...
_______________________________

And today... a few simple words shifted the entire trajectory of possibilities into this lane.
"As an initiate of the Universe..."

those words... especially once we did this weird thing of Joe Dispenza's...
(which truthfully cut off short and left you floating in space without any aim whatsoever, lol)

_____________________

HOLD THE PHONE!
so it's like 2 days later since I wrote that above ^ ^ ^
   (I'm wonderful at stopping when the feeling dies out...
           or starting when the feeling actually finally comes)
But things...glorious things...
big big shifts...
and not just the energetic kind.

There's a struggle here unfortunately.
As even if there's a way to describe and attribute, or even analogy-ize the explanation...
which there is... and for once words do exist...
There's something here that begs not to be disclosed.
And Ego is shaking her head confused, saying 'It's not me, yo.'
   even if she probably would if she wanted to...

A strange thing.
To become mightily aware of a specified and glorious aspect...
and not divulge...
not divulging the secret....which is not a secret at all...
but the commoners.... would only ravage the garden if you told them...

so...
I'll have to save it for those who are brought hither.

And it is something....

_______________________
luckily the Alchemist is here too.... which is great, because he's invested now, lol.
Signing up for the next round perhaps.
God love him.
Signing contracts and shit so as to see this through for awhile longer.
"Taking on more responsibility." He grumbles slightly.
but would it be any fun if you knew it would be simple and easy...
"Yes." He assures me. "The payoff however..."

and asking about what equals success in the aetherlands...
"Walking the path. Especially with you."

awwww😭

_____________________________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________________

.

 

Body is nodding. Satisfied with outcomes and ease. She thinks it would be a great time to start exercising from time to time, only to immediately follow those thoughts with a huge belly laugh. She really just wants to take a hot shower and read.

Mind is chill. Still high. She hasn't been back down for a while now.

Brain is thrilled that tasks are coming into view and all she wants to do is schedule them out in the correct order....only to hope for once that the rest of us listen to her itinerary.

Ego is kicking her feet... waiting for something to cling to....but only because it would be fun to do the old things every now and then... just to fuck with us... She thinks it's funny.

The Kid is waiting for us to get the new canvas frames wrapped...so we can start painting stuff. She wants colors. Lots of colors.... but more or less just eagerly waiting to play with some magical rocks tomorrow.

Soul is almost about to demand things, giving us the hard stare. She wants us to meditate in the afternoons....IMMEDIATELY, she stresses. So.... we know that she'll lose her shit if we don't oblige... and we do not want that.

_____

I think we're done here...
ttyl


Bring home mountains of spring water and drink to your heart's delight... but know that the water isn't just water and your heart is more than what you have in your chest. All things are replenished, all things are filled, and all things are brought forth as puddles under your feet. Be sure to were your water boots and splash that shit. It's fun.

 

 

Merkabah and the monkey

 "You've found the path, so why are you looking back?"
  the Alchemist would shake his head annoyed.
   and is he not coming with? my thoughts would question..
because he's behind me now...and although there are never goodbyes..
  there's something to be said for having a favorite guide....
and I don't think he's going away... but again it's a changing of form..
he doesn't look the same once again, even if his energy is spot on.
  more human at times...more shadowy now.
I have to turn my head to look... what a crap shoot.
  he just smirks and prods me to keep going forward...
if we can ever even call it that... we never move... just change as well.

"You act like you've never done this before?" He jests.
  as well as roll his eyes enough to make the truth of it obvious.
   cause we've always grown before...this is nothing new, not even a little bit.
the path is here, but there aren't any signs.
no map, not even a trail mind you.
A random wilderness at best.
but the views...the trees...the sounds...the smells, sights, all the colors...
that's why we are here anyway, yeah?

it feels comforting to know every step is correct
because every step is one you've created, rather than followed.
   and you only create what you are. who you are.

"And who are you?"
   he catches the moment like a viper, because he does that..

Everything.

The space for everything.

...and all that will be.

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

This is the place I usually write down the physical things I've done or am doing..
HA!
Slow at best...almost rather moot.
I don't care about these things.
But I sat in a certain place today that was expansive and freeing.
I won't write it here, as it words would never be able to rise to the feeling.
It may be the only reason the path even appeared... or non-path...
  even the Alchemist nodded, as if he was pleased with the outcome he knew would come.
  like a full satisfied completion of one of his projects.
I wouldn't doubt if I were one of them. 

He claims I'm not a project...but his words deliver a sense of something close to that.
he smirks again...knowing I barely understand, but know.... iykwim

... expenditure...a vast enormous completely risky investment...
  the words he likes best it seems... with the word risky highlighted, he adds.

..."One that was worth it."

not that worth has anything to do with it
but he had been warned at the beginning...
not taking time to believe what they told him...
and he's thankful for his partaking in this... this expenditure... (?)

"I want you to stay on this path. Don't deviate, even for a moment...
    or it will be lost to your eyes."
  he looks my way, stepping closer
I nod.
"Where is it?" he asks, coming up to me.
I point?? but not really... I can't even describe this...
"It can take you all the way there." He says assuredly.

and he plays it off like it's a car... cause I devour analogies like doughnuts
you've got to care for it, tend to it, give it gas...
pay attention
focus...but not the focus as in the goal... (which there isn't one?)
the focus as in the being in the car...
staying in the car...
except it's not a car...

it's the path

and "It will take you all the way there."

and my mind is like...'and where is where?', 'what is where?'
and as soon as she had those questions...the questions were dismissed...
right here... right now.


___________________________________________


_______

______________________________________


Body is allowing and appreciating not having to throw a fit to get what she wants.

Mind is sitting in solace, rather happy and free flowing. She's feeling whatever and feeling kinda high.

Brain is looking over the list of things that could be done, but has agreed to not be the driver.

Ego is liking all of this. She says it feels like she's not dampered by the pisshats, and gets to be herself.

The Kid is wanting to color something... doesn't care about any of this. It is normal for her.

Soul is admiring the car...path? Like the new leather, the lights...but not that... more like the immediate
  textures and knowings lying right here....right now.



I don't know if this is that merkabah thing...
but it feels like a vessel... but the vessel is you... not your body as in you...
like the... energy that is you.
and the more you sit in it...ride in it... be it...
the more is grows...
it's fascinating.



____________

___________________

________________________

Did you know that a few episodes of Hoarders will easily provoke you into cleaning your house.
And just thinking about the Konda method (assuming you already know it) will get you to go through your clothes.
And loving yourself will get you into alignment.

...anyways... I got things to do.
bored of writing.

later.


Monkeys and cantaloupes frolick in the sun on the afternoons of the fall season. Always pat their heads and tell them how pretty they are. Maybe keep your wallet tied to you, cause those little bastards like to pick pocket. ...and p.s. don't eat their cantaloupes... or they will eat your face.

Thots for your pleasure

 You know, I spent a whole week and a half, maybe slightly closer to two weeks...
doodling/painting on a wall in my craft room.

This same craft room that I used to call 'the sewing room'....
until I decided that I didn't want to sew much anymore.

And then it was the art room.... but not just for art...hence the word 'craft' came into being...
and now I just don't give a rip about either.

Crafts...art...sewing... (I am writing in it right now, lol)...and it's a great place to hang artwork...cause it makes the whole room look abundantly magical... including pictures of Roy Mustang and Wolverine too.

There's magic here...

Anyway... my unavailability to using labels has grown far past what I can even throw up into half assed words at this point.
Like... I'm not a seamstress...and have never liked the term...although I am a master seamstress... I can say that cause I've been doing it for (way) over 12 years.
I'm not an artist... even if I have always always always done 'art'.
I'm not a crafter...cause that's dumb. I craft things alright....but that likes saying I'm a breather...
I'm not a writer...cause even if I have 6 fucking novels...1 in the works, and a few stupid self help books, that I've written, AND a handful of completed screenplays... I am a writer too... but not. Even if my first 'book' was written when I was maybe 5...(and I still have it)...and yeah...it had dragons in it too.... with pictures... lol
A parent? What qualifications do I need for that again? A wife?
God, can we just quit it... (quit with labeling, not with being any of those things)

Like, I can be all those things... and I can be nothing...and I like both.
So... I don't want to sew much... I don't want to art much... I don't usually craft much as it is...
I do write... but most all of the work in itself is done way way way before I type a word of it on the screen. (I'm literately watching book 7 in my head at this point...like I watch the scenes over and over until they are good for now...until I rewatch them 100 more times...) (and yeah..I'm writing now too)
I'm sure I can claim to be all these things... but who fucking cares? I certainly don't.
Am I supposed to? And why don't I? Does anyone...beside those people all over social media that take pictures of themselves painting, or taking pictures (oh yeah...I'm a photographer too, yo!), or doing their thing and claiming to be their doing-ness...
I can just BE me... and whatever I'm DOing... is just what I'm doing... without commitment.

So... many people want their doing-ness to be directly related to their receiving-ness...
and I gag at those two things being in a relationship.
You can receive without doing.
You can receive by just BEing a receiver... ... ... or is this too hard a concept for others?

I painted my own wall, for myself.... yet, I fully expect the paycheck for it to come.
I write shit all the time...sometimes devouring pure stuff, sometimes nothing but shit... but either way I fully expect to get paid in equal value for the way I was being while doing those things.
And when I sit outside all fucking day, because I can, and I do, and I will certainly do it again...
I will also receive compensation for that bit of beingness as well.
Also when I play Farm Hero Saga too... because I get to have whatever I want, even if I'm playing games.
But you know what pays the most? 
Those times I'm on fire. When energy scourges. When passion rages. When the world bows before all my desires and hands them over like I'm it's god.
And that BE-ing-ness... is all we are when we do a complete dump of all those bullshit thoughts (thots)
that hinder ourselves from just fucking BEing ourselves.

and I love this space...where its safe to purge those chaotic resistances that show up from time to time...the same place where you can hear them and see them and eat them up like big juicy pickles, because we are allowed to tell the world to go fuck itself.
And ourselves too when we get so far off track that we start to become like the others who want to pander to their limitations.
But we aren't like that here.... we've gone too far, seen too much, felt so much more, and bathed in the auras of the angels and the demons and the stars... and god they are all beautiful.

____________________

_________________________

__________________________________

_________________________

.

.

It's quite awhile before the new year hits...
but it might be time for a resolution...
one that redefines my own fucking lane... but moreso, taking off in my UFO and getting off the roadways altogether... because I AM NOT GOING WHERE YOU ARE GOING.
   (and I do not mean to imply that aliens will be disclosed in December...(or Jan 2 to be more exact)
but... I am saying that even if I joke around with hubby about getting a cybertruck... that I can go this way and everything will make way for my approach...cause that's the way it works for me.

Blah... let's switch here...



Body is timidly gaining some sense of stability even after I shook it up the other day and it's been whimpering about do-ing things... She is trying to catch up to us, cause we've done left her ass and she's a bit slower than our energetic leapings.

Mind is hyper focused on what we've been doing lately and is making sure to steer us more toward alignment than all the wordy things.

Brain is analyzing how much bullshit we've allowed ourselves to carry, and it nodding as we purge...and also feeling a tad sorry she didn't catch it sooner so Body wouldn't be so traumatized.

Ego is feeling left out and doesn't have anything to say yet, but is waiting for her turn. She said that getting a cybertruck is completely not needed, not really wanted, but she will accept it if by chance Elon wants to send one her way.

The Kid claims she knows Elon....real excited like... We don't know why. She says she likes all the things on the wall that she finds hidden in the drawings. Especially the Enderman and the Deathstar....and the buttons.....   ok, she won't hush...

Soul is softening things.  ?  ...  She's working and isn't going to put any commentary on here right now...

___

you are the energy, the water, the river...

and your body is the earth...

it's bound to erode away...

as the water rises...

stay true...

just relax...

it will realign...

and you will be flowing free and clear soon enough...

Doors to heaven and the devil's pit...make for a great dessert.

 It is officially October.

And I'm here for the fall, the colors, the trees, and Halloween.

 

A few days ago, we talked with someone in the aether lands that most all of everyone would believe would be a bad bad idea...

but I did anyway, cause I understand his plight...and I'm not in agreement with all of everyone else.

Anyways... 

The Alchemist was recently teaching about transmuting the outer environment, rather than just the inner body/mind/emotions as we had been negotiating for quite awhile now.

...so...

we discussed the higher frequencies and vibrations, versus the lower...

and of course the higher often cannot raise higher, until you equally dip the lower, lower.

And who better to delve into the shadow, but with the help of a certain someone.

So that was efficiently fun. 

And whilst transmuting some really shitty crap we must have been overlooking for a long time...

the equal higher vibration about skyrocketed to space...and we were flying high.

So much so, that the outer world shifted with me and all the new things came into view immediately.

...

...

and they both were beheld before me. Like two sides of a scroll.

And all the world lie between them, like how light and shadow create what we see.

and the complete picture of the world laid open....and we understood.

And even as I look upon their faces....neither one of them were an actual person...

they are images of our deciphering of the vibrations.

and the one behind these eyes.... the one looking upon them...and even seeing ourselves...

we are the ALL.

 

"Who are you, then?" The Alchemist asks as I read the scroll of the world.

and even the words...oh the brittle fragile words that aren't strong enough to hold themselves together... were only spoken in silence...

but He nodded....as much as a non-physical being, who is also just a deciphering of vibration...could.

 

_____________

_________________

_____________________

Today my youngest and I built a door.

And perhaps years had gone by since the mention of building a door first appeared.

And I'm slightly a bit dismayed it has probably been that long.

But today we built the door... only because the questions of the 'why' got smothered out...

probably in thanks to my recent shift...

And I know this kid speaks all the things beyond reach of most mortals... even beyond me most times...

but the door...had nothing to do with the actual door...

I mean yeah, it looks actually really nice, and feels like magic...

but it has everything to do with what it could open.

I'm humbled to see the world as it truly is. 

Humbled to see raw magic in the simplest and most unexpected of things. 

Humbled by a teenager who knows far more than I do, and doesn't ever explain or feel the need to.

And swallowed whole by the space where he is.

So yeah... if I were to consider myself 5d, or at best 6d.... this kid is 7d, or 8d... and I'm awe struck.

________________

________________

________________

So I did some art projects...starting another actually...

Did some photo editing ALL day yesterday.

Got some things marked off my list today...including the door build!

I'm narrowing down my area of focus for some ripe manifestations..

just cause I want, not because I need any of them, lol.

and while I still have some homework to complete,

I am so fucking excited for whatever!

There's things I did that I'm waiting for a response.... so that's all covered in eagerness

there's possibilities, and I'm okay with any, or all, or none of them.

and I can't promise anything I plan to do, or intend to do...cause that's one fine way to not do it, is if I plan it.

(I wonder how you 'planet'?) (like...you know how nouns can be used as verbs and understood...) (would it be like crashing into a giant sphere of another planet, 'to planet') (Or would it be to support life and grow plants? 'to planet') ("I'm just going to planet it."..) (what would that mean?) 

(so yeah...)

 

________________________

 

Body is doing well. It's elbow has been taking it's time to regenerate adequate healing modalities, but other than that, working on cue. She is just okay with all things lately.

Mind is somewhere else still....although almost every day recently, she has been playing scenarios/scenes for Book 7 over and over, until she likes them.... although she knows, none of us are prepared to tackle another novel right now.

Brain is analyzing all the new data from the aether. She is having a blast and doesn't want us to distract her.

The Kid is wondering why I am supposedly going to just do line art on the wall with black and white, instead of colors.... She is perplexed and is not fully trusting that idea. She wants colors.

Ego hopes the Kid doesn't throw a tantrum...
Ego is also not feeling confident in certain aspects of Book 7, because she doesn't know enough about it to write about it. She doesn't want to learn...and will make sure she doesn't have to. She has agreed to make shit up as she goes. "It's a fantasy book....it doesn't have to be accurate." She rolls her eyes.

Soul watches us all....and is trying to convince the Kid, that if it's line art...we can color it later if we want. "Like a coloring book." She nods. She is also laughing that Mind is trying to prewatch Book 7....cause we all know, we have nothing to do with it...and the characters write themselves...so... She is agreeing with Ego. She is overjoyed by our aether land adventures. She is eager to take tally scores of our upcoming manifestations, just so she can come here and write about them....for your reference. Soul is completely humbled and stricken with admiration for the door and the teenager who helped us build it...while ten thousand synchronicities line up beside it.

_____________________________________

.

 

 

 

______

______

 

thinking far too hard, when the answers are at your feet...
get out of your head...and in the midst, we will meet...
chocolate lattes are the bomb of serenity and the cream of lavender smooths your skin like the fresh twist of a midday bath. Be graceful in your wanderings and embrace the luxuries you are entitled to.
And when the sun comes up again, gaze at the wonders that were delivered to your door. Everyday, is a Prime day.

 

Water, Thoth, and a mouse

 There may or may not be a pool in my backyard...

but if you were aware of the magic that bleeds from the aether...

and especially through this manifestation...

you'd know that there most definitely is.

So this long hiatus from writing was legitimately excused.

There may or may not be *many shares of Tesla on my Robinhood account.

And I appreciate the financial backing they've provided me the past few months.

and for the future too *thumbs up

There may or may not be an adventure in abundance happening tomorrow too.

When we douse the casino slot machines and play the ones that are ready provide sustenance.

Because if it works for water...which is energy... 

It most certainly works for money...which is energy too.

__________________

__________________

There may or may not have been a huge download a week or so ago...

and we were going to write about then, but waiting felt more inline... 

so we waited... and maybe the passion involved isn't as rose colored as it first was.

but it's gold... for sure.

There just may or may not be the issue of not remembering what we were gonna say about it.

hehe.... *awkward

It was about the sacred puzzle.

About falling into divinity.

About this evolving and INvolving.

And it's deep, and high, and even if one was aware of the duality... 

there are layers upon layers upon layers... but they are not layers so much as unified fields.

There's a place for them all. And all of them are equal...

We are speaking of all the things. And heaven, and hell, and light, and dark.

And all are sacred.

 

I asked Thoth about this perspective.

He said that we hold all of Christ in us... and we hold all of the devil...

all of the light, and all of the dark... all of heaven and all of hell...

 "Who do you think is more powerful?" He asked directly, simply...

... he answered it before I could... 

"I am." He glares.

 "And so we are, because we carry all the power of all the earths, of all the realms, both starbound and of the terrestrial planes."

"We are whatever, wherever, whomever... we move into."

there was way more... about those who are not able to hold both, unable to choose their lives.

That royalty (his reference of royalty are those who see from above) sees the perspective of the ALL

and actively and purposely choose their paths and create their worlds.

Unlimited and unconditional... as everything is welcomed and allowed...

and your focus and centered vibration "brings forth that which you are".

 

So there's that... 

 

_______________________________

 

and there's some painting stuff to do

and some swimming

and some winning

and some dirt playing

and some laying grass seed

and some stir fry

and some other stuff I am not consciously remembering atm.

 

oh...and Sebastian passed on last night...

He was like 2 and a half sooo... really good for a pet mouse.

 

 

 

I present to you.... your prize.

   "Someone has to see the sunset."

 That's what he gifted upon me while we were revisiting an old paradigm.

A place from which we only meet less than a tenth of the time.

Because the new world has been birthed, and there we are not apart.

Not even a mirror to remind me of our unity... yet bestowed with all the things.

All the things. 

And I wondered how this place was seen, how this knowing was known.

I wondered wherein lied the purpose and the reasons...

and a simple statement...not even a question this time...

because there are no more questions in the new world. In the new paradigm.

"Someone has to see the sunset."

because maybe... no one else can see it. THIS specific one. THIS specific way.

And that in itself is an honor, to serve for the divine.

To be the eyes for the heavens.

To be the vessel for the Christ.

To be the realizer (real eyes) of the Universe...and of Source....and of Soul.

I will drown myself in this place.

_________________________________________

_________________________________________

_________________________________________

_________________________________________

 .

 

 The future...is no more. Neither is the past. 

And while the world does what the world does... and I'm unsure of what that is, because we've severed ties with the old world.

We are HERE.

and HERE is beautiful.

even if I can't show it, or say it, or reveal it in the way you need.

I promise though... each and every moment after this moment... will be something new.

___

___

___

 

Body is confused, yet playing along and trusting Soul, even though Soul is nuts. A few whines here and there and then easily and quickly shrugging it off...cause Soul said to. Body is rolling with it and it appears to be working for her.

Mind is crazily quiet lately...and while she's present and watching...she hasn't commented on anything specific. We are keeping eyes on her, just in case. This is a new thing.

Brain is humming something while tinkering with random ideas and anomalies. She seems satisfied and strangely interested in the little things. 

Ego is chilling and orchestrating the song Brain is humming. Ego knows she can do all the things and have all the things, and yet she's satisfied just hanging out with the rest of these pieces of self.

The Kid has toys strewn across the floor and fixing the hair of one of them. She's kicking her feet, happily and also satisfied with the happenings around her. She's secure and at peace in her world.

Soul is way up here watching everyone and everything else. She's appreciating all their cooperation and trust, and looks at them all with a smile. She's not the same, and sits steadfast with some sort of empowerment thing going on. We like it.

in other news.... there's other news?

but guess what... we do not subscribe to that channel (the news channels) 

and have unfollowed them all...

so... if you want to know the mundane physical stuff that's occurring here...

you'll need to ask someone else, cause that's old news...

and we are HERE and we are NOW

and right NOW... we are writing in cryptic vibrations in hopes you'll take the leap and join us...or bring yourselves in line with where we are.... because I can't go down to meet you.

we can't go back to meet you either. or forward. or up. or over. or in. or out.

Only here. Only now. and that could be anywhere, at any time, in any place.

_________________________

_________________________

Internet fiascos and barrages of insightful mysteries are always on the agenda. Yet we carve the paths for our soul to travel and our hearts to scourge the bridges we cross. Passion is fire and the waters are life. We move with them all and carry those dreams out to the stars, the stars from which we've come

....and to which we go.

 

 

Elephants are sentient.

All the lovely flowers, a bloomin' in the sun.
Where we go is what we will become.

....

There's a lotus in the morning, that glisten and glows.
It opens with the rising light and echoes as it grows.
It radiates with essence, of delight and of delish.
It takes a master of perception, to see it through the mist.

....

There's a fish in the water, swimming to and fro.
Making his way in the sea, coming and to go.
He doesn't think a thought of luck, or that of the day.
He only knows the one he is and continues on his way.

...

The moon take a dive into the expanse of the night.
Only to find a way through the dark, advancing more than light.
It takes your hand and swallows you whole.
Find your way and save the day, you are on a role.

_____________
___________________
__________________________


....
the shift has shoved us beyond wherever the known used to be....
so we can't describe where we now are...
at least not until the bearings have been regained, if that ever comes at all.

the world vanished today.... and we've shifted from one world to another
and it's fallen away
and it will not be missed

______________________

 .


No words for the fallen on this day.
Only the rising ones can catch a glimpse, hear the voice...
There will be no more thought of yesterday once this sentence has come to an end.


__________
____________
______________


The scent of apples and roses.

The ocean.

The clouds, white, crisp, deep.

Petals unfolding. In pink, in white.

Blooming.

Lotus.

The moonlight.

Presence.

Pillar of light.

Softness, like a minky blanket.

Dandelions.

The colors of blue.

And greens.

Vines. Tender, tranquil, spiraling upwards.

Darkness with stars unending.

A glowing.

Silver.

Breath.

....

and the fire...must open it's doors

_______






___________



The pockets of ivory are filled to the brim with pumpkin and nickles. Pumpkin for the seasons of air, and the nickles for the cost of tomorrow. Gather your belongings and yeet them across the yard. Only warriors follow the herd to the edge of the fields. And there, you will discover your name.