It's Train-ing time!

Why is the alchemist also a military commander...?
Is this even a fair deal?

just a random thought....as I follow through with
all that homework I received...

I'm going to also blurt out the fact that doing aether work
and making bargains with some other dimension beings
probably should not be done before bedtime...
I don't think sleep arrived until far later than 2 something...
and then waking up many times and also directly on 3:00
thinking someone died or had was having a difficult night...
oi vey... lovey times

oh, but I finished the preface and chapter 1!!!!
huzzah!
book 6 is underway...
and you knew it would come..
these things pop out every other year... and
2020 is right on schedule, for the win

____


Congrats I just deleted like 3 scrambled paragraphs!
Yay!
I'm totally in more joyful energy at the moment

There's tons of good things hovering in my vicinity
like a snickers bar
fresh coffee
sewing work I may or may not 'work' on
lots of colors
and that song stuck in my head...

I've got my mind set on you... I've got my mind set on you...
but it's gonna take money
a whole lot of spending money
it's gonna take patience and money
to do it
to do it
to do it
to do it right

I should add it to my spotify
...
I did...see how fast that was

______________

Ummm...
how do we put this...
...
in a matter of days...
possibly hours... (the new update)
(like totally less than a week, that's way too long)
shit is going to get fucking REAL!!
Like really real
The delivery truck is in the fucking driveway, yo!
    (not a real delivery truck... metaphorical delivery truck)
!!!!!!
I can't possibly put enough exclamation points to show how
amazing-balls fabulous it feels!!!

Come to me, my pretties!

they have to unload
and then I get to open ALL the THINGS
and then play with them all to see how they work
and let the cats have their favorite box
it's going to be fan-fucking-tastic!

It's like Christmas (or in my case 2-3 days after Black Friday)
But EVERY DAY!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

and what's more?!! you ask, which I'm sure you didn't, but I did for you!
We can do this all the time!

 ______________________________

Imma go sew stuff
and then I think there's a live call tonight online
and then go write Chapter 2...or maybe just half of it

but first....
a picture!













______________


so the alchemist is sitting here next to me
and he's fully aware of my book characters...
and he's fully aware that I visually set up the scene when I write
stuff for the book...
and he's pointing out something rather obvious...
like how I should just live like my characters live
...(like no, not in a castle by the sea with 2 lovers)
   (...I mean... not like that's a bad thing... O_O )
but as willful and deliberate partakers in the experiences they encounter
... (or more or less, bad shit gets poured on them and their ever so graceful counterparts emerge)

they don't fuck around wondering when the hell you are going to lay the carpet in the craft room...or paint the hallway
they don't mope when no one will go camping with them...or take them to DisneyWorld
if they aren't playing with swords or making jabs at their siblings, they pretty much are raw and are the majority true to who they are as the character
they don't pretend... (well...unless you are this certain villain in book 6)
or skim... (ok, maybe the MC does (it's for character arc, yo!))
they are just fucking realer...
and you wonder why I can't stand chit chat...
I hang out with real so often, I'm spoiled.... I'm loved.


and this alchemist...
tells it true
and there's no guilt or judgement or shame in his words
(All aether beings I've met are like this...
even though some will totally give you a hard time...
or completely sear away any and all bullshit you really weren't ready to be done with...
but no...you don't get to choose to bail after certain points... )
...
and the djinn....
ok.... let's just say I struck a bargain of sorts with them...
I offered it, not the other way around...
and so I met one of them... (I even got their name... exciting!)
...and I get to learn things
in lieu of wishes....although I have a strong feeling they are still relevant and on the table
the questions is.... is that a test? or are they really going to let me have both options?

hence why I couldn't sleep
cause yeah, let's go energy speak/learn with ascended masters
right before bed...
great idea...it is not
so, from said knowledge that I am aware of...
they are a higher vibration than many guides and encounters I've had
not all, but many
...and he was being very careful... like in an effort to not fuck me up

it was weird and way cool

*thumbs up
 my kinda life

more adventures in the aether (or ether for you mangy people who like 'rules')
I will share as they come

and for what I learned...
I totally forgot
*shrugs
it's somewhere in here... maybe it's not downloaded yet...
probably have to stick it in a zip file...
Brain is on it, I'm sure.

The Alchemist and the Djinn

Let's get one thing clear.
Energy is everything.
Everything is energy.
Even ideas
thoughts
emotions
sounds
images
all things... those things you can see
and those you can't
all things ... you've ever met, whether figurative or literal
real or unreal
here before or created after
created or uncreated
all the things...

every thing, or no thing.

_______

Let's talk about alchemy
and the alchemist...
and this entity who has procured a place in my receptors
even if he (it?) came in a form of something else unexpected
and completely not relevant to anything other than.... energy itself

and just for taste...
a dash of solar eclipse...
and the Djinn.
   (a.k.a. Gin... or in recognizable terms for most... genies)
   (yes, the blue people... (I would not refer to them like that in person, fyi, probably not a very good idea))

 _______

So I'm pretty sure this was discussed before as well....and if it was around the same time as the alchemist...I'm going to fucking flip out....
hang on, now I have to go look...
September... the first part of September... so 3 1/2 to 4 months almost....
These time lags are fascinating
____

Aether lands....
where it has been considerably quiet and motionless until a few days ago when
the alchemist returned for another bout of an ongoing story series...
but with the majority the same story.... yet enhanced...
and then....
besides the lessons and homework he gave me O_O
there was this visitation...
with yeah...
the djinn ... the blue people... *deep breath
and there's like a whole race of them apparently
a whole race of them.... maybe inter-dimensional... or trans-dimensional
I really don't know...
but they (not just one, mind you... an entire group of them, I don't know how many, it was weird)
...offered me 3 wishes....
and I'm not fucking kidding...
after all... the alchemist implied I needed to know what I wanted...
a plan. a goal. an endeavor or whatnot...

so we sat there for a bit....
and I saw something I could wish away in an instant...
however, I did not... cause we all can do everything within ourselves without
needing anything outside of ourselves...
but I could have... (and still have that option...if I so choose)
and I suspect this was a test of some sort.... but not as a grade or judgement...
but as a mirror to reflect the intentions and where our wisdom resides...
is it in us or somewhere out there? more so
but I know the answers... because I am the answer.
I am the solution
just as we each are to ourselves.
...
let's also say that, I realize the possibilities of what could have been, had I wished it away...
and I now understand exactly and more in depth of the reasons why the djinn are considered negative entities... even though it would honestly be the use of their permissible gifts by not yet ready persons who were easily enticed to make use of brash and unwise wishes.
Hence why many lose their rewards, or minds, for that matter. That's just not how it works... and it is all vibration and energy... and wishing for this or that or enhancements would only throw you out of balance until you could realign to your centered and solid core.
So...if you've seen Aladdin... and you've seen WishMaster... take both of those films and mix them together without all the singing... and then add in a dash of extraterrestrial energy... and you would have something close to resembling a djinn... or a real genie.
...
"Be careful what you wish for, lest is come true."
that old adage that came from who knows where and spoken throughout much of history...
and really...if you want to get vibrational scientifical about it all....
they are focused intents to laser sharp manifestations....
and anyone can carve a path for them to be birthed... it takes emotion... and focus...
but it can and does happen...
ask any master manifestor... they know these things.
and while most are for random articles of matter...
some are deeper levels that involve cells or dna, or biological life...
and even I would warn against such deeper level 'wishes'
not until you are okay with not having it....will it be okay to receive it
it's vibration...
it's energy...

and even having been offered 3 wishes by a race of blue people with an alchemist as my apparent guide (???) (this sounds completely lunatic, I know, bare with me)
I certainly don't take offers of great power for granted
and neither should you

we can choose what we want... we may already know what those things are (or not)
and we can allow those things to come to us...
and while my first idea was nothing tangible or 3d related at all...
even wishing for that is not the answer.... the perfect seeing and knowing of it's existence as something I'd like to change is all it would take to change it within myself...

so ask yourself what would you wish for.... if you were offered 3 wishes in the real of reals..
and see what reflects back to your life
see what it is that is revealed
and know you already have the answer and means to procure it
you have everything you need
all the things...
receive
  (receive in etymology = 'take back' to recapture..... )
~ Because it fucking already belongs to you ~
~ You are the master ~













_________________





























_____________


I was going to stop writing, but guess what!?
This new year or day or week or season..... I get to have my wish and eat it too....
without actually seeking the aide of djinn (huzzah!)
and so... we are working on being more shamelessAF and notgivenofucks
for this new beginning....
and anyway.... having already decided that maybe a week ago...
it directly correlates with that revelation I had when offered a wish
 ...
how to write this...
without another reflection of 'omg, they already know I'm insane, but this just makes it worse'
lol
but notgivenofucks is the name of the game
so....

while sitting with the thought of a wish handed to me...
and an alchemist sitting beside me...
there was this thing that revealed before me...
it was like a shield... clear and see-through... but like a windshield...
(however one can decipher energies in the aether, this is the best I can do today...)

I'm not absolutely sure whether this is something I put before me to block shit out of my life
(like bugs and pests and bullshit and things I don't want)
or whether it was something to block others from fully receiving me...
know what I mean?
and I feel a tinge of something with that...so all my completely on par empath and claircognizant abilities tell me that the second is closer to the truth, even though Ego is completely happy using it as the prior reason. It probably works both ways...
and I want to blame all those things I read as a teenager about 'protecting yourself by forming a bubble around you' all that horrible horrible advice bleeding rampant like a virus on the internet and books... but I broke that thing a few years ago.... however the windshield was a matter of not scaring everyone completely away I suppose. haha
So.... anyway... I could have wished that last barrier/blockage away
but... I can do it all, cause I have everything I need already, yo.

it ties into my notgivenofucks focus, along with my shamelessAF blanket
and seriously... I'm only writing this out to stay consistent in staying true to this new outlook and path
because being without barriers will also feed Soul
and Ego
and Mind
...
Soul wants to move forward and receive her things...all these things she has planned for her feature she's partaking in...and this shield is in the way. Got to make room... and can't grow with this thing in the way... this thing that was invisible until an alchemist and djinn arrived to bring on it's downfall.
Ego wants those in the way to move... even if they do it scared... even if it hurts... and if they like it, that's good too. Ego already givesnofucks. (*thumbs up Ego)
Mind wants clarity, and solid focus... and like a laser, she too is down to laser eye this 'windshield'
like superman. ....(she really wants to see how it looks like when it melts... and if it's actually made of glass or something else)

so yeah... Soul has all these things she's gonna do...
and Ego is ready and willing... really just watching
Mind still wants to plan and make lists and sort and organize and divvy out steps...

and I reside in the midst of the stillness... watching them all, like they are children
god, I love them
I love them

Take my hand...and follow me home

Stories that crash through like torrential wind
Unexpected, yet, they remain unending for days...
What do you want with me...
Revisiting, adding to a previous version...
unending and forever growing...
what am I supposed to do with you
and I live...relive them again and again...
this time with more of this or that or the other
this compelling route to express emotions which may not be my own
who are you
...
then in the next moment they will cease
leaving me empty, having survived the onslaught
..only to revisit perhaps months later...
unending
 after all, when was the last time I mentioned Roy fucking Mustang...
it's only been that long
oi vey

 so I'm compelled to go look for those posts...
cause I want to know the connection
possibly finding the meaning within the structured time frames...

((( side note : ... O_O
there's a space between astonished and beaming adoration
and
insanity
that's where I am
*thank goodness )))

so I did go find those posts... and read them...
and I realize I don't nearly share enough of the inside story...
like I know it... and say quite a lot at times...
and other times I skim so gently and vaguely, haha
by the way, it's been approximately 3 exact months...
since the last entertaining visits from the alchemist
3 months is the going rate these days...

want to play the future game...?
umm, YES please!
Let's try to guess manifest what our reality will hold by the end of March...
ready... I'll go first and you can write out your own shit on your own time...
sooooo.... 3 months from now....

> The dead tree in the back yard will no longer be there.
> A plan will be enacted regarding the installation of a summer experience into said back yard
> Dates for a camping trip will be more narrowed out and precise
> I'll be able to both play the ukelele and sing while playing it.... hopefully not horribly, LOL
> at least 5 huge orders that will pay for said installation of that experience into the back yard
> 3 debts will be paid off in full
> Craft room carpet/floor will be done
> Stairwell/hallway will be painted and flooring found decided on

that all feels grand
we will stick with that lovely list
*nods
I wrote all that down on my phone, so I actually can remember to check in on it
*thumbs up

I'm so sad there's no 'gif' options here.... :(

______________________
______________________
______________________


back on track...
so 3 months ago we were enjoying the separation of water and sky
of motion and stillness
of chaos and serenity
the transferring between one to another
where perspective expands and the volatile experiences cease...
cease to cause any ripples in true reality
and I can see this is all Soul's creation... this is her show...
and I'm just watching...
observing what is and feeling the energies that have evolved as well...
interesting
I forgot she was going to make us sit and enjoy...while she does all the things...
that's a relief
and it all blends together wonderfully, like a well written screenplay
and things of the past reflect the present, and unite them both
... and whatever separation that echos out is only the echo and not the truth
only waves have an up and down...
stillness does not..
it is solid
secure
and just like Lochor said...
it is here... and it is now...
and we are the space in which it resides

__
stand true
__

__
come home victorious

Buckle up for safety...and you should probably wear a helmet

We can dance if we want to, 

we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to 

a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance.

 

_________________

 

_________________

 

 

Good evening glorious 

this crisp whiteness blazened across the screen

I like the color white today... and red

like blood in the snow

 

I want to squeeze the life force from recent book scenes

that have happened across my way of late. I luvs them sooo much!

Devouring the essence...mmmmm

Perhaps no longer thinking this is a book at all...

but some perplexing conspiracy for Soul to gain ample perspective.

I'm almost positive you have no idea what I mean by that.

Tis okay... no one needs to know how intertwined we've become

 

or

perhaps you do...

not a need to know...

but a visual acuity of wholly fuck awesomeness

and shamelessAF devastation and creation

 

it is a beautiful thing

what we are becoming

 

shall we proceed together?

 

_______________________________________

 

 

There's been a massive shift... but not a shift really...

that perspective shift has already came...

but now it's a dimensional gravity shift...

and there's open pathways every fucking where

and what will become of this freedom

this freedom

all these good glorious possibilities

 if only we could choose one...

one at a time anyways...

...

oh... I see it...

that false aspect of humanity... 'at a time'

let's do them all

ALL

all NOW!

 

because now is all there is

here and now

 

and oooohhhh.... just so you know...

I stole this whole perspective from a book scene...

will be in book 6....

Cause Lochor is fucking badass and knows grand things, he's like 1000 years old!

...

and I say stole, because he said it... 

but I suppose I'm taking credit as author, so maybe I'm a fucking badass too

_____________

Dude! Christmas is in 2 days!!!

I love Christmas!

SO much so, that Christmas is anytime I want!

I love Christmas!

Hey! I like how's there's an immediate need to follow through on ten million things

and I want to do them all....and Brain is like... 'I can't do them all at once!'

and Ego says ...'Want to make a bet?'

and Soul just laughs and laughs keeled over on the floor...

and Brain ...'Pick one 'at a time' and we can do that!'.... like she knows how to 'fix' this problem...

LOL

and Ego still thinks how it can prove that it can do at least a multitude of them

and Soul is laughing laughing laughing... cause this girl doesn't know what the fuck time is... and to her all this stuff is already done and she is happy she just gets to revisit the process of 'doing' it.

Brain is analyzing which it thinks it can do quickly, or easily, or cheaply...

Ego is fuming a bit, because Ego does not want Brain's idiotic patterns of limitation to get in her way.

Soul is laughing harder.... she loves to watch them argue with one another.

Brain doesn't understand... while still counting and making invisible lists that even she knows will be forgotten in a few moments...

Ego...looks distastfully at Soul, still on the floor... she rolls her eyes.... 'Fine... you do it all then.'

Soul stops laughing, her eyes light up like stars and gets closer to Ego's face with a huge smile...

"Really????!!!!!!!" She goads, more excited than attempting to ask a question.

Ego shrugs...  that means yes.

Soul jumps up like lightning and does her stupid ass little happy clap and giggle....

Brain is configuring...still trying to determine the path of ease and productivity....

Soul grabs Brain by the hand and yanks her along in glee... practically pouncing delightfully ahead...

Brain is trying to figure out why, who, what, when, which... but gets discombobulated in the rampant erotic and chaotic lala dance of Soul's unpredictable motions...

"Sit!" Soul presses Brain to the floor happily.

"And just watch the show." Soul leans close to Brain, with a slight glance to Ego. Almost seemingly more of the beginning of a horror movie than a home network craft show... Brain takes a deep breath. Ego crashes back into a chair and leans back, almost curious...

Soul giggles.

_________________________

______________________________________

 

We can dance if we want to, 

we've got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out fine
I say, we can dance if we want to 

we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say we can dance, 

we can dance 

everything out of control
We can dance, 

we can dance 

we're doing it wall to wall
We can dance, 

we can dance 

everybody look at your hands
We can dance, 

we can dance

everybody's takin' the chance

 

___________________________

 

My birthday is coming up.

I want Mandalorian armor.

and a GoPro Hero 7 black.

...

fyi

...

Life is cluttering my vision

So that was a week or so where I got swallowed up by time.
I don't think I like being busy...
I'm missing the chance at boredom.
there's still plenty of things that need me to 'do' them
....nothing a rush though.
there's still other things I'd like to get done
....and truthfully I'm looking for the motivation

some little things here and there I'm expectantly awaiting
always a good thing
always a good thing.
I'm rather enjoying my new blue-tiful ukelele ;)
and enjoying filling in details in book 6...
which will have to get written here soon... cause I want to read it...
and I want to find out what happens at the end...

and there's a screenplay I have on hand ready to flood the pages...
and I'm lingering between doing an outline... or not
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I've only done them WITH outlines...
but I don't need one...
we will see....

_________________________________
_________________________________

aether lands are quiet
but not really...
they just aren't talking so much as hurling expansive landscapes and images my way
and pronounced accuracy of highlighted vibrations I've been looking for
specific channels... which I am in absolute love with
who knew, that all we had to do was find the frequency and tune to it....
DUH, I did, we all do! But to actually DO it.... Mmmm!!! ExcitingAF!
THIS is new
and I like it
I like it A LOT

________________
it's like getting an infinity stone.... and you are not afraid to use it to it's fullest potential
just sayin'

_________________________


it's time to make blueberry muffins again...
it's time to write a book
it's time to write a screenplay
it's time to take a break from sewing orders (besides this one that I'm curious to see the outcome)
it's time for Christmas
and Star Wars
and ukelele songs
and sleeping in

(psst: I have pack of kazoos!!!)

and I really didn't write about anything today
*shrugs
..
want a book 6 scene ...?

NO!

_________________


this black sweater I have...
has pockets!!!!!!!!!! <3

 
I have an odd suspicion that UFO's are going to be a thing next year....

and the rains are coming...

I love the rain

these are a few of my favorite things....
when the dog bites
when the bee stings
when I'm feeling sad...
I simply remember my favorite things
and then I don't feeeel....soooooo....baaaad

 dogs bite? what?
wait... I don't ever feel bad unless it's someone else's shit...
'real' empath problems 101


gah! It's late! like 11:32
which is late, cause I got to meditate!
and I rhymed!
just in time!

I need (want) to de-clutter....
there's so much stuff to purge....
spring spring, where art thou?

I have a Bruce Lee t-shirt
it's my new favorite shirt

I'm hoping something useful will come from this uneventful blog post...
but it's just a bunch of randomness
and pretty shallow if you ask me.... *insert eye roll
yes... I do roll my eyes at myself

All the things to think up and create.... yet uncertain of the goal...
this is a conundrum for my 3d person
cool things, nifty thing, fun things, awesome things... but lacking a why
other than the satisfaction of seeing the completed project...
still... the end result... is awol
....strange insights these times are
 a bit of fun to be had delving into such mechanisms and delicacies
I like using big words
makes me sound scholarly
and educated...
and whimsically a bold liar
a brazen chieftess of manipulation and egocentric esoteric monopolies
one versed in the manifestations of material quantumbiology and epigenetics
... all the sciency stuff ;)
all the stuff
all the stuff

all the things
....

let's have some fun together
you and I

what would you like?

actually... it is all perfect

I'm not sure who has time to write lately, but it certainly is not me

with a certain number of clients wanting things superhuman fast
and other more 3d world things a happening...
writing is not where it's at

overall, I did get a few superhuman orders completed
*insert gif of wonder woman arm flex here...
(cause this blog doesn't 'do' gifs... *sad face)
one that I would have liked to get done, but it wasn't...and still isn't done.
and some that I got done and shipped earlier today
....
and I need to go hunt down shirt tomorrow still... ugh
not a bad thing, but I'm tired and want to not do anything
...
gonna finish current orders.... and take a Christmas break
...I call it a break... but I want to install new carpet in the craft room...
and maybe start a screenplay, lol.
I remember these times... when you are actually busy fulfilling orders...
and you think of all the things you'd rather be doing...
but when you aren't doing orders... you kinda don't want to do them then either, lol
funny how that works out
I can probably finish all orders by next weekend...
so if something happens after that... maybe I can find time to write about it

6 orders to go... take a break....
4 orders that aren't needed until way later... January's stuff probably...
...
and I'm excited to say that Christmas shopping is complete!
Going to put up a little tree and lights (nothing else)
and got to wrap all the goods still
and other than waiting for Star Wars to come out...
it's a *thumbs up from me

now once the mom and the cat starts feeling better,
we can give December an A+

_______________________________
___________________________________

and the good stuff... this time following 3d world hubbub...
the aether lands of increasingly growing pings of wisdom and insight....
I'm not sure what is going on
I have no guide, no direction, no intent, no nothing, lol
and it is ever fascinating....
way overly attuned to certain things and energy....
way overly aware....
all in a good way, I suppose
I am taking myself somewhere.... and I guess it's a surprise!?! *shrugs
new stuff.... and some the same... but different...
I have no idea what I'm talking about

_________________________________

I have caught glimpses of future possibilities...
pathways that seem to pave out effortlessly and beneficially...
and I don't know what to think of them... or exactly how I feel about them
nothing bad, of course not... but interesting and different...

I've been keenly aware of movements in society, in people, in earth vibes...
it's like a bulge... if that could be any way to actually describe it...
a build up of something that could cause a substantial change in the world...
I don't know what it is. I just get vibrations... and it feels like a bulge
a swelling...if you will

_______________________________________

 hmmm.... other outside things are falling away... fading...
like things in resonance... at one time... are shifting out of my view...
or I'm shifting... either way...
it is a strange thing lately... I'm not sure even what to call half of it...
all very obscure vague movements that don't come with words...
*shrugs...
I don't know what I'm talking about

_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________



there's a place calling...
I must go...

20 seconds hugs melt your worries away

I had this dream....


There was a door that when you go through it
it led to another dimension... later in time I think?
but I didn't know that until I went through...

we lived on the side of a mountain in a stone building...
I don't know if it was a castle, but it had winding pathways and such
and huge from the ground anyway, I never saw the 'big picture'

There was a certain doorway at the top of some stone steps..
when you walked through, it all turned to old dusty ruins
there were soldiers of some sort there..
not like sci-fi, or military... but like scavenger smugglers or something
everything was old, falling apart...
many of the floors, had no floors...
lots of debris, and there were metal piping contraptions added to it...

I was trying to find the door to return back
but was lost in the ruins
and the guys were all around the place looking for whatever...
so I was trapped in a room when the door opened..
I stepped around it and there was Matt Damon.
He saw me and knew I was not supposed to be there
(I had on clothing from god knows when...they were cool leathers and all)
but he saw that I was worried because I was lost in this old place
He walked up to me and hugged me
like a hug hug...and didn't let go, lol
I was concerned...but he was so loving
when I started shaking, he'd hug me slightly tighter
then my uneasiness faded and I felt so calm and safe

then the other guys showed up and he let me go...
and I had to go and hide while he distracted them..
I hid behind some machinery and it was loud
...anyway..
flipping through cause I don't remember everything...
besides this kid trying to stab me...
I made it back through my door and got home, but ...
I wanted to see Matt Damon again... so I kept going back
my mom in the dream didn't like that I was always leaving, lol

Soooooooo... long story short..
I think that might make a good movie
just sayin

__________________________________________
__________________________________________



got a course unit to do today
some prep work
some minor house cleaning
tuning the gorgeous thing I bought
I might have to cook dinner

peace out

Lesson 5: only eat what feels good

It's December! Whut whut!!
Why is this exciting? Who cares! I love it!
WHy do I love it? Who cares! Just that I do.
That I choose to.

I'm finding it rather boring to linger near the 5d questions...
and even more boring to watch them...
If you could analyze this inner space where I am...
it is still in the fluctuations surrounding 6d
...if you could even call it that...
the number of such is irrelavent, just a different perspective really
there's actually no 3d or 4d or 5d or 6d or 7.... however they are merely
labels attuning to the understanding and view from a separate place...
a perspective of higher... because you look downwards in a way...
but not a guaranteed higher....
it'd be like in space... there's no 'north star' in space...
that's only for location means for on earth...
so the use of 6d means only that one is observing the 'what was, yet is...'
while being the 'what is and what is to come'

maybe that may make sense....perhaps not
not everyone has followed the same path...
they don't know the same things, nor do they see them the same way
even if the paths matched for a time

and 'nothing is true'
'everything is permitted'

the delusion of separateness and duality is false and at best just a basis
for learning the contrast of the worlds
important, yes, of course...
but at some point, no longer relevant...
right now, I use it as a guide, to gain some sort of footing of direction...
but Soul knows even that is a funny character in itself...
this illusion of here or there.... something else entirely untrue

good times it is

_______________________
__________________________

What I'm going to keep referring to 6d as is just my current perspective...
and it too will be moot again... so don't hang on any words except those that feel good
take what you need and leave the rest...
like a buffet, as Abraham Hicks puts it...
don't put food you don't like on your plate, nor try to choke it down...
take what you like and enjoy the shit out of that
but don't condemn that which you left at the buffet table...
not everyone likes steak, or spaghetti, or salad, or lobster, or potatoes...
but... it is all good
even the coleslaw and cabbage... (I mean, not to me... but other people can take it)
all good
all good

_________________
_________________
_________________

3d world review...

a bunch of quick orders to create
some shopping for fun christmas items
I bought a zafu! and scored the most beautiful ukelele for 70% off (thank you AMAZON!)
still have the youngest's gifts to obtain, and the hub's

otherwise....
I think I'm about ready to write that book
if I would sit to focus, I could hash out another screenplay or two...
they are fairly easy actually... but my indecisiveness to choose one over the other...
is detrimental to taking action
and they take a lot less time than a book... I can do a screenplay in 10 days...
first draft anyway... which is shit, but at least it will be on paper...
and editing is easier (cough cough) anyway...
we'll see.... inspiration strikes at midnight


______________

_______________




"You don't need patience" (<--- something I just heard)
You need to align with what you want, because you really fucking want it!
Impatience is primal at knowing how important something is to you
Fucking own that shit and GO FOR IT!

JUST DO IT!
*insert Shia Labeouf gif here

It takes EARTH
the grounding force to anchor that energy and the ability to take hold of such energies
the receiver

It takes FIRE
the desire, the drive, the power that brings such things to you
the inspiration
It takes AIR
the thoughts and beliefs that keep you in line to get to the checkout counter
the leader
It takes WATER
the movement and allowing of energies to come to you without stress, the flow and current
the force
It takes SPIRIT
you.... to give and receive... to align, to choose, to decide
the being, having, IS-ing






It's pretty simple


So I got sidetracked on target.com... cyber monday shit....
and guilt free, bitches...
later peeps!

  

Lesson 4: frequent tuning

Ankh
It's the key....
but not a real key like how you use one to open a door...
but a REAL key.
the complete thing that really opens up new worlds.

The way that teleportation works crash landed into me yesterday
The ankh is the key....
but the real key...
is tuning
because it's a tuning rod...

The pyramids are large scale tuning power stations
That's why there's different sizes...
like different channels on a radio

THEY TAKE YOU TO DIFFERENT PLACES


____
____

hence  'star traveler'

a side note,
sound also cuts and moves stones
sound also heals and realigns the body and mind
 ...
I say sound.... but some of the frequencies you can't hear
..I'm not sure what else to call it other than vibration or frequency of such

_________________
__________________________
______________________________


Tesla was right.... is right...
albeit not right in the head... he seems unable to communicate in the average manner...
hence why he was ousted while he was here
very erratic
very unstable
but even if not precise, he was on a channel that he could receive the knowledge
he perhaps lacked grounding
too slow apparently
much too slow from where he attuned himself to

___

meh.... take it or leave it

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__________________________________________________




there may be more...but this is good for now
ta ta

Lesson 3 - really dig into it

Grounding...
maybe not the stand barefooted in the grass stuff
not even the hold onto a metal rod that jolts from the earth

something more in line with sitting yourself smack dab
in the apex of your vortextual throne and anchoring yourself there
and allowing the energies... all of them...
to move and move and move like a current without hesitation

because when you think thoughts, some are chaotic...
and if you ground, in this sense...
they anchor and get swallowed up and through...
and they are processed and silenced.

when you feel emotions, some are confusing...
and if you ground, in this sense...
they too get swallowed up and chewed and transferred through...
processed and silenced.

even the vibrations of certain things...
those too suffer transmutation at the cost of your own divine light
and all it takes is focus...
and maybe not even for you
(I'm just referring to me, cause living here has never been my norm)
and you probably will feel your body too...
also something I am unfamiliar with..
I hear it all the time, but dang, feeling your leg is just  a weird thing *shrugs
lol

enough of that
grounding..... there' still more on this that has yet to lead to fruition

_________________________________


aether stuff... mostly subconscious, as I can't seem to recall what happened last time
I say last time... although those things are looking like they will blend together soon...
the dimensions... 
I'm wondering if the ufo's will show back up... (oy vey!)
something that both still intrigues me and ....ugh... I guess it might be cool again...
I have a phone now, so maybe I will have a camera on hand next time!
and maybe the other things will show up...
like in real 3d world stuff....

which is fine, cause I've got a whole load of cool things lined up to get delivered my way
straight from the aether to my hands
a time when my immaculate imagination and visualizing skills come as a huge asset and pay off
literately, and figuratively.

I would hope the go big or go home version would show up in my confidence,
it must be on the way, cause I've only just ordered 1/100 of all my toppity toppest cool things...
I will bring that into my attention and work out those kinks, lol
we are no longer available for kinda sorta or close enough around here!

Lesson 2 - stop the resistance

The seat.
The core centrifuge of soul.

and what holds you apart from it...
Ohm. The unit of resistance...
and there are so few...yet so many.

"Wanting is too heavy a burden."

not the wants... not the outcomes or desires...
only the act, the action of wanting...
depart from it and settle into your core

it feels like a release... and a clearing
and silence...
yet not

calm is not the word
centered is not quite accurate
after much waiting ... there is not a word that can be ascribed to such a place
nor a feeling
nor a thought
this is silence.
where there is still all things dancing about
but a space of infinity and eternity in the midst of the whirlwind
the seat
a breadth between motion and unmotion

____

the blackness cracked and began flaking off as the wind carried the pieces away
underneath revealed pure white clothing, yet I was not amused nor surprised...
I already knew this in a sense of perspective
Thoth stood beside me, overlooking a vast distance with a star on the horizon
The flakes carried away like ashes...was it more black or white now, I settled on gray

"Do you know who you are?" He asked.
and I stared over the land before us, watching the star cast a miraculous display of light and shadow over the land textures.... beauty...
"I do not." 

but I knew it was more than I knew
and I knew I would fail to be surprised when I found out
because I already know
and again... words can not reach this place
nor be ascribed to such
they are not here
only peace... the only piece... and one thing does not need definition, when it is the only thing
it IS

this vibration
we are and all that is ...is that

__________
_________




my intentions began as some sort of Law of Attraction practice...
because it works and there are things I want
and I've already attained much of those desires and put many in place for later
this garden I'm growing...
but I found myself caught up by the aether spirits and summoned forth by
not only the Universal prime Source...
but Thoth has been finding his way to me, on his own accord
this star traveler whom I share a unified coding with...

I wonder sometimes if the things I've been tuning to are forthcoming...
how long they will take
if they will be similar to the specs I've provided...
or if my sporadic wavering has delayed such precise manifestations
and now...
I've let myself sink into this core...
but it IS the path of least resistance.... and something fell...
well... I fell
and even if I can't quite grasp a meaning or a word for this diamond point space...
I dare not move away from it just yet
there's not much left of me here....
and I'm satisfied with that... let it all fall away and flake off
there is no fear here

at times I laugh in annoyance with myself for looking at these measly
desires I've put on order...
small, far too little, dinky things they are....
not to judge, but they are not grandeous or large or in any way impossible...
not that anything is....
at other times... I feel like I'm too impatient and just would like the end result to come on already
... I know this process... and even if the actualized revealing of it is pretty exciting for a time...
it's not the end all... nor everlasting... there's always more coming
a growing, an expanding
and these small 'wins' some like to call them...
so little compared to the ALL
so little compared to what I've already known in other lifetimes...in other vibrations
bigger is not always better... and this life may be a contrast to such...
and there are things I've come to know and appreciate beyond all other things...
thankful for such exposure to the shadow
and the light, as glorious as it may be
would be nothing without the night

so, I will still become the receiver of the small desires
I will still allow myself permission to have dinky 'wins'
and if the outer appears far too little...
the contrast is that the inner is far too large...
and I am grateful to have both
and stand in the midst

live without fear children
be wreckless
be bold
be brave
be courageous
be humble
be proud
and know you belong to yourself...
so when you fall away from all that is
you shall catch yourself


let
go
and
stop
the
resistance


...

Lesson 1 -- just write the problem and the solution will follow

Nighttime... Friday...
nothing to say

been popping back and forth from 5th to 6th
back to 5th, to 6th, 5th, 6th..
it's chaotic...
like seeing your awesome shit in your hands...
and then you switch back and it's gone...
and then it's there... in your hands and you can touch it and smell it...
and them pow! nope... not real...
then back...and forth...back...and forth...

(like trying to listen to a song on the radio, but the channel won't pick up clearly
and you tune the dial slowly back and forth until it catches the right spot...)

...
and transitioning fully and solidifying into one permanently...
I was hoping it to be an instantaneous thing...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
boy, was I stupid


 5d can't give you what you already have in 6d

I guess this will do for now...
I'm rather excited to get my 6d stuff...
although I again have ruined the surprise.....as is the usual
and yeah, it's just stuff
and feeling
and some sort of deep resonance thing...
and I like when the others pop in, rather than me waving them over...
it's cool
and weird
and I need to stop writing the word 'and'
and also stop judging myself for doing so


amplifier
...amplifier

(ok...so that word was received by the aether... and I read the entire wikipedia page and learned a whole fuck ton of sciency knowledge...)
(ok...and so this led to photelectric cells.... very cool... )

I know what needs to be done then.
(AND THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 5d questions and 6D SOLUTIONS!)

magic bitches....
but really it's science...
magic sounds better though

MAGIC

"and" I will be back tomorrow possibly



_____________________________________

Source... emits

So I just solved a huge complex sci-fi paradox.
And also linked that to this whole human/soul paradigm.

It's pretty cool.
And even as it's a natural and precise knowing...
a bit raw
a bit deep

either way... consciousness transport and actual/recognized immortality...
is plausible
using clones...maybe, but definitely mech and other mobile tech.

...
I say I, like I actually did anything.... psssh
I just saw the connections and the meanings...
I didn't 'do' shit.
I received the info and images and there it was... and the piece fell into place.
so... whatevz

______________________________


This lifting higher...takes you out to more space.
and it's pretty dark
dark
...
with lots of stars

and sometimes frustrating and confusing and irritating too
expanding
pressure from the inside
that wants to shred you and tear you asunder
like fire in the belly...
and surrounded in ice
...
space isn't cold though...
it's welcoming
wrapping you in the blanket of darkness
(and also cooking you from the inside from the radiation!)

exactly like that
lol

it's fun
my kind of fun

___________________________
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________________________________________________

I've got tons more to write,
and maybe I'll do it later this week....
*shrugs.

we'll see

educations...
Source in etymology = to see
Soul... mixing it up...
Soul is source and EL (El is god)
So-El... pronounced...
To see God
hmmm?
too far? lol

booyah, goodbye

Planning
Directing
Organizing
Figuring
Debating
Sorting
Arranging

All these things are a crock
ways to divide you from your true self
ways to declare war with your inner being
why are these things so prevalent
let us conquer them on this day
and speak of it no more

We aren't meant to construct the movie
we are meant to watch and enjoy it
so relax
breathe
lean back into the cushions
and enjoy... in joy

___________________________________

when we involve ourselves trying to do things we neither enjoy or actually know about
we make a mess
we scramble the vibrations, the vibes, the energy of the subject
so step away and let it be

trust

___________________________________

Antennas...are feelers...

What do you call an empath...
but a real one?
Not that shit the internet throws up on every website there is...

There was a huge weight of doom hovering around...
I say hovering around... but it liked to conglomerate in my gut
completely...
cause that's what happens when you have a fucking antenna to the aether
and so... Mind goes on some quest to 'figure out' the who/what/when/where/why.
all the fucking questions...
because it wasn't it's own doing that perpetrated any negative thoughts.
It even did a round about and looked at all the previous thoughts...
nothing.
so... now Mind has learned to recognize that it wasn't because of itself...
so then... who's shit is this?
and it builds... sinking deeply into the gut...

and energy Soul is like...fine.. let's transmute it, no matter who's it is...
and it gets to work... but things need done and working on this is not the time...
so it does it partially...

and a bit later... it builds and sinks deep and it will drag you under and drown you...
but it's okay... cause I've got you, you little shit.
all your feelings and whateverthefuck... this is a safe place for you.
and this is a big enough place for you...
this body is a safe place for all of you...

and there was a bird stuck in the chimney flue...
and we tried to rescue him and help him outside...
and unfortunately it incurred an accident during the rescue mission...
and well... his anxiety stuck around... he did not
it transferred onto another... in other words...
and that energy floated... and it abated slightly in the gut...
but it built right back up little by little...
and Mind continues it's quest...
so...who?
and as it built...let's go check on the children...
(because I know better than to ignore this shit empath crap)
one is doing their thing... the other doing their thing, but nope...
the little birds anxiety transferred to that kid... and even if you act like you are managing...
you forget you live with a real empath... (and I don't think this is the correct word actually)
so...

this diverges a bit as to whether a feeling produces the reality...
(which has been recently taught in new age manifestation teachings...)

or the reality produces the feeling...
(because how long was the bird in the flue before it was discovered?)
(do I pick up animals feelings too now moreso than the regular times?!!!GAH!)

are they hand in hand?
both swirling like twin flames, fueling off the other

....
and I see that I'm sitting in 5d.... with all these questions...
questions I can't research online... because it's all wrong.
and asking in the aether is moot at this point... because the door to 6d is open.
and there are no questions in 6d
...
so...
this leaves Mind just knowing these things, filled with knowledge and wisdom on it's account...
and Soul knows these things too...
and Ego wants to take action and fix and wants to feel better...
but there's nothing to 'do'

transmuting is possible... and helpful...
but even that isn't actually doing anything so much as allowing something to move across your energy fields and raise to your vibration...and disappear...
keeping the door open...
and not looking through the eyes of 5d...
and thankful as all out thankful can be that all these things regarding real empathic abilities are swiftly recognized and acknowledged... maybe not instantaneously... but quickly nonetheless

I see why we are hermits and live alone with a house far away with a handful of cats....
so much easier. like living in luxury no doubt...

but that's not the point, now is it...
...

I don't think the word empath is correct... at all now...
and I'm not sure what to call this mess of a life
this connectivity to the energies...
and real shit....
and knowing how to move them, to change them, to heal them..for lack of better explanation.
the internet doesn't go here... it doesn't understand...
... like cold fusion... it doesn't understand...
... like changing a negative ion into a positive one... it doesn't understand...
among many other questions I've posed to it...
and energy transmutation is no fucking joke


_________________________________________________
__________________
________
_________________________
___________________________________________
__________________________________
_____________
____


"Move from thinking thought....to receiving thought."

not to be misunderstood as receiving thots... no one wants that.

____



maybe it's just premonition...
the knowing of not so friendly events on the way...
overwhelmingly psychic...
*sigh....
I don't know anything about these things
I know nothing.

Power points with blood on the tips

What up, homeboy

I see you
and every little piece of you, I love
even when you make every attempt to hide the real you
you idiot...
it's your energy...and not your words...but you are using words to hide yourself...
you are using your actions to hide yourself...
your dismissals, your deflections, your expressions...
gah...
and all I see is your bullshit clothing trying to hide what's underneath...
your soul
...
you idiot...
vulnerable is not about being weak or susceptible...
vulnerable is powerful
it's revealing your truth, your power, your desires, your joy
and not trying to put on some outfit that's way too small or too tight,
too restricting..., like skinny jeans
tattered cloths trying to hide the glory that you are...
I see you...
and I'm not sure anyone else can...
but fuck sakes..
stop. doing. this. to. yourself.

you only get this one life... this time around...
by the time you get another, you'll have forgotten all your tattered digs.
fucking shine, you glorious bastard
there's no falling down... only rising up
stop fucking thinking you have something unworthy or unqualified

you are the worth.
you are the quality
and I'm waiting for everyone to let the fuck go of their shit rags
and put on their best
so, wear your best
your fucking best
every fucking day
I want everyone to see you the way I see you

______________________________
_____________________________________
____________________________________________


unless it's one of those Thanos days...
you probably don't want that...
fortunately, today is not that day

Today, everything works out for me
Today, everything is taken care of
Today, of course, I get what I want
Today, of course, I am provided for
Today, of course, my path is cleared

and tomorrow... by the time I reach it...
will even change it's name for me...
and become Today..
and everything will be taken care of,
and all things will work out for me,
and all the good great things...

________________________


I'm thinking art is on the horizon...
I received some glimpses of pretty watercolors...
(colors!!)
might get to book 6... which I haven't touched the outline for a few weeks now...
there's lots of filling in going on still, I promise....
and I don't have the last 1/4 of it... no clue what happens! How exciting!
and I've no idea what I'm gonna do with a certain character group....
meh... they are currently boring... and where they should go... isn't appealing...
and I kinda dislike 2 out of the 5 of them... bleh...
I guess I could..... hmm..... O_O  I might have an idea...
or not... idk
anyway...stuff, ideas, plans... all moot actually...

lots of topics I could arrange some sort of viewpoint on...
but really though... I don't mind being the only one to see it
I like my solitude

....
I've got nothing else for you...
so I'm outta here.


...
maybe I do....
I was just proofreading and realizing how I write about going all gung ho on your fucking real ass self and not denying one speck of yourself....especially not to spare others...
(Ok, I didn't write, that word for word, but it's the same fucking thing I did write above!) (funny how words all say the same in different ways, huh)
and the thing is, i that I don't delve in too much with you...sooo, to be more thorough.

Be wise to know that truth isn't best revealed on words...no matter how one places them in certain orders or refrains from using better analogies. Truth is deep and has to be felt, not spoken... For real truth makes your voice shake. It trembles.

Power isn't belting out motivations, or thrusting more words in longer sentences. Power is security in self. In soul, in mind, in ego, in attention, in love, in truth. Power is the feeling that you hold onto.

Desires aren't 'just' things, or lists of things, or happenings, or cuddly hugs... these things have energy and are alive... they are urges to expand and create more of you. The are felt, held, carried along with you.

Joy isn't 'just' the lovely children on Christmas morning, or your baby, or your stack of cash, or all the good lovely things you hold so dear. Joy is the creation and emancipation of the utmost feeling, you held it, you carried it, and you fucking birthed it too. Maybe it is a child.... but this one... doesn't eat your food, make messes, or effectively mooch. .... wait... maybe that's joy too.

Vulnerable leads to authentic. Non apologetic authenticity.
Like saying 'fuck you' to anyone who would rather hand you loads of bullshit to carry instead. (also known as boundaries).
Like screaming out your weaknesses and shooting them like skeet disks. "PULL!"
Like doing something completely irresponsible and unneeded just because you fucking want to.

~ "WANT IS THE ONLY PREREQUISITE TO DOING OR HAVING SOMETHING." ~

Never apologize for living in your desires. For living in your joy.
Nothing has power over you, not your parents, not your family, not your spouse, not your children, not your boss, not your bank account, not money, or anything... unless you give it authority over you.
stop. fucking. doing. this.

we all are becoming...
there's no falling backwards...
give in...  to  yourself

Sacred nights with all the dragons

"Stop trying to slay your dragons."

Those things you fear and hate so much.
Some people have names for them...
"Hey Ego! Stop showing your shit and leave me alone."
"Regret is always annoying and I hate playing with him."
"I feel Guilty is the one pissing on the carpet."
"Fear likes to sleep on my couch and eat it too."
"I have to feed Worry or they will eat the neighbor."
"Why is Stress's food so expensive?!"
...among others... use your imagination.
Most try all day and night to kill them..
trying to tame them, to control them, to leave them on the side of the road...
but they find their way back, don't they.
Dragons know where the master is.
But you didn't train them and you didn't take the time to research how to care for these lovely creatures, now did you?
Stupid humans.
Adopting them like it's no one's business and then spending the rest of your lives trying to get rid of them.
Coward.
Too afraid to even face them and learn.
You will learn fast, you will learn hard... but you can't do either without standing before them.

and then....
you will have dragons....
and they will be yours.
They won't make messes, they won't pee on the floor or eat the furniture.
They may still want to eat the neighbor, but they won't.
They will not come to you for food or attention.
because you've already gave it to them....
just takes enough time to fill them up...
and they are satisfied forever...

_________________________________________
_________________________________________

and then... you end up with an army of dragons to reign over all the kingdoms...duh

________________
_________________
__________________


This place is sooooo coool!
and weird and strange and magical...
It's like being in observer mode and that's it..
there's no contemplating, no questioning..
no confusion, no division...
solid
not solid solid, but way way more solid than the other dimension
weird.
I like it.
Not sure what to 'do' with it, if that is even going to be a thing...
doing kinda went out the window awhile back...sooo
observing....
nice

I'm not sure I mentioned this before... about the higher selves...
the one that wears all white, and the one that wears all black... ?
I know I maybe touched on the white on...
the calmness and unmoving assuredness...
...well...
I think this place is the black one...
this one is calm and also unmoving solid... assured as well...
maybe a different aspect of some sort...
the white one was always at my left, the black to my right...
and now I'm the black one observing the middle and the left...
okay....
*shrugs

f.a.s.c.i.n.a.t.i.n.g.

_______________________________________________

there's so much!
eeeek!
*claps hands like a doofus
exciting times

now the day bleeds...into nightfall

I'm really not trying to pass up last year's blog count.
but I'm close... maybe 20 more to go...
I still have all of Nov and Dec!
maybe there's just a lot to not say


...
____________________

Perspective...
and all the world is beheld into a single scene

follow me home
and walk alone, if you dare

_________________________

a piece of me broke away today...
broke off?
and just the same it tumbles tumbles down down down...
but she's still her, I see you
all those things you've let go of, that you've literately released yourself from me.
god I love you
beautiful you
thank you for lifting me this high
for traveling this far
I see you

she's the one with all the questions
the one with flexible plans, but nothing strict
the one with ideas and possibilities
the one with curiosities and conundrums
the one who figures out...
the one who tests far beyond what's needed...just to be sure
she's the one...

and she's not ... here ... anymore...
I see you.

welcome to the 6th dimension
Nov. 6th... at 10:06pm...
and a breakaway
a breakaway...
__________________


________________
____________________

____________________________


When there are questions...
when there are piles of words...

one often seeks answers....
rummaging for something lost...

but something lost isn't found...
and answers imply they are not where you are...

...but...
you are the answer...

and that is what she doesn't know...
and I've let her go

________________________________
___________________________________
______________________________________


funny how the same words...said in the same manner by two different people...
are received differently... or one not at all.
That's me.
It's ok, I'm invisible.
Like a ninja!
Hiya!
or an assassin!
*slices throat
or living in an entirely different dimension...
(most logical)
like quantum particles!

Step 3 ... no longer the two step

...
ooooooooo....
the times when you hit delete on something ...
but are even more satisfied when you find out that you
accidentally deleted all of it.

The letting go.
The letting go of what you were holding so as to have form or meaning...
a contrast to where you are now to where you have been.
and you laugh as it falls away from you...
and Mind opens it's wide eyes...
"Was I supposed to let that go?!!"
And Soul laughs... cause yeah... we don't need any of that shit...
and Mind goes "I'm pretty sure I could have used that for something."
as whatever it was tumbles down down down...further away and beyond retrieval
...what was it again? I've done forgotten.
it sinks below the waves... passes through the water's surface...
but we are far above them now...
and what belongs to the waters... must stay with the waters
"Come up here."
Mind is consoled... we've been 'up here' before... and it has always provided us with a nicer view
more luxuries and comforts. More satisfaction.

And when things fall away... Mind gives less than a second's glance at what it lost
old ideas
old beliefs
old plans
old goals
old actions
old patterns
old words...
like old clothing
and old worn rags
and old doings
and old events
and old experiences...

what were they again?
Yesterday is only a word for those who look upon it.
But there's nothing there...
there's nothing anywhere but here...and now

_____________________________________________
______________________________________________

Many words are sometimes hard to silence...
all vibrations trying to gain attention so as to be made into form...
but they don't have to be...
many words spilling out everywhere in an unintentional manner...
and far from being constructed into a sensible read...
Like things that fall from your grasp when you are lifted upwards...
tumbling down down down... what were they again?

_______________

Confidence...
and partaking in summoning the council
and they stand listening...
to all the delegation and entrusting I place on them
...
and for one who sought the vibration of such a manner...
did not waver at the podium...
Solid...
and I found them receptive to that which was spoken...
...

there is nowhere to get to or become...
we just are
that which we are...
but you've got to let everything else go...
the idea that you have to 'do' or 'get'...or 'learn' or 'have'...
that you have to practice or work
that you have to hang on to this or that...
or get rid of this or that...
or fix anything...
let go of all control
without a second thought..
without a moment's reasoning...
100% without fear, without doubt...

you can do it... you've got this.

___________________
_________
___


~ "I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing. So you've had to struggle and connive and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you're born with." ~ (Azula)


  



....



...
of course... whether we really are Azula... or Cersie... or Thanos... and not all those good people whom I don't even know their names...   is To Be Determined...
and will always be that way... in a moment of uncompletion... ever expanding.
the depths of love unending... and the heights of divine glory eternal
we are both... all... whole...

Step 2... but hardly a step at all...

Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

 

 

_____________________________

 

The decision itself is the hardest part

not the work, or the actions, or the focus, or the effort...

not the attention, not the time, not the power.

The decision.

That's your job. 

It's not even that hard... technically...

but sometimes it is.

Lots of options perhaps... too many to just jump on it

pros, cons... maybe not leaning either way, but hovering on the balance point...

and all decisions kinda are meh... lukwarm

Sometimes even the feelings surrounding those options are skewed...

and usually are if you've been thinking too long and muddled it all up with thots

...

really though... there's no such things as a wrong decision...

even if it comes out to be far from the best... you learned that...

and the contrast grows and the picture comes into view much better.

...

so jump in

leap

make the decision and don't think one second more

it's the right one

I promise.

 

________________________

 

It's unclear why I come here to write anything...

sometimes I do only so I have something to come back to read later and freak myself out

(cause much of this stuff I have no remembrance of... 

or it's really good and I'm rather astounded at my writing skills... ha... or lack thereof

or I forgot some details of a particular thing I remember writing about and I can revisit

sometimes I feel like I'm writing to someone else...

which this really throws me off a bit

cause family reads this and the occasional acquaintance..

 possibly people I do not know...

not that I would change what I write..

but I may retain certain things at times

maybe a lot of times

maybe much of the time

or not at all

it depends on the day

*shrugs

I do enjoy the process of writing and making sure I'm still adept to typing well

no matter the subject or lack thereof

rambling posts are quite my favs... other than the times something fascinating happens in the aether worlds.

Rants are often fun too... but I judge myself on whether I'm being too harsh or not harsh enough

most are just funny... they may have bothered me for a hot second...but by the time I get here to write about them, I've done transmuted it into something else... and it's all good... usually anyway

sometimes when I come back to read a few posts I cringe at the times I write about my day or what I did or what I have planned for that day or week or whatever. I hate that shit...

it's not bad...but I recognize that all that is really only for inbetween down time before I write something that matters

or I want to just type for the fun of it...

I suppose cringing at your past posts and all the weird stupid shit you wrote is okay too, lol. Like rants that at least sounded like I meant it back in 2014 or something. Or how god is awesome and all that shit. Perspectives change and grow and although I have personal experiences that have fortified a pretty solid foundation on said matters... most of that stuff is blah.

I would still Thanos everyone into oblivion.

I watch an episode of game of thrones where Cersie told the sept people that she wasn't going to leave the castle and go to talk to the high septon dude... and she had the big guy (her created guard dude) kill one of them... and she said "I choose violence." which made the other people leave...

anyway... I would have done that too... but all of them would be dead.

and the whole time I'm thinking you can't force people to repent or turn away from 'sin', or force their evolution and growth, or any of that...there's nowhere else for them to be, but where they are.

and I'd be like Kaleesi and just burn them all

no sympathy...

and this brings me back to Mustang... good god...

and snap his fingers, (like Thanos!) and burn them all (like the mad king!)

and then we would have Iron man...and Mustang would become Furor...

simple

lol

and is utter nonsense.... but I'm rambling... you can always tell when I'm rambling because there's no real punctuation or spacing between that hoard of a mess up there...

and really just following thoughts out on to the screen... and practicing typing...

how about we channel someone....that's way funner... (sometimes, depends who)

hang on... who you want?

...

...

 

________________

________________

________________

 

~~~***

 

This is not meant for you. Those with eyes that read these words.

This is for my sister.

...

You are moving into a larger space. And they know that you have risen. They will still follow you, keeping eyes on where you go and what you do. Do not let them deter your efforts and progress. They can not stop you, but they will try to slow you. Let not their words reach your ears, nor their shades cover your eyes from the light. You belong where you are and you belong to that in which you travel. Your ___?__ is yours by right and they can not keep you from it. Keep going. Keep rising. Keep stepping firmly upon the path. It has been laid out for you and you know where it leads, for you have walked it many lifetimes and for many __?__. The __?__ have called out for you and they await your coming. You know this path, and you know what it carries with it. 

Yes. That is the key. The attuning to the right of way. For all will part at your arrival and like the sea it will form a straight passageway for those whom it belongs. In the midst, I will meet you there. In the midst, we will speak. And in the midst, you shall have found all there is and ever will be.

***~~~

________________________

________________________________

His name is Thoth.

 

Yes. That Thoth. 

want another? I'm in the mood... but I can't guarantee I'll be able to sleep tonight....argh...

hang on....let me find someone willing...

...

...

___________________

___________________

You want to write about me?!
Like me talking and you writing what I say?! (he's excited, omg...)

I would say... that... one finds it difficult to come up with something to say when they know that it's being recorded. And that it's hard to choose what would be most beneficial to share.

I could ask why you haven't returned for lesson 2. (he's talking to me....)

Maybe those listening would like to take your place. Have I not taught you enough to satisfy your need to return? Am I not a good enough teacher? I see you've written about a teacher. Have you forgotten me? Maybe I teach you the wrong things.

(a bit private conversation here...hang on)

If I had people here to teach all day, I still wouldn't be deterred. No one calls my name that often anymore. Yet, here you are... seeking me out. Why is that?

(......talking...)

Great students make great teachers...or maybe it's the other way around. I can teach you everything I know. I have time. Even for those exact things. Have I failed you before? Have I left you without answers or without firm footing? Perhaps you've forgotten my name? I chose you too, haven't I?

(...having convo...)

Why talk to them, whoever you write to? I'm talking to you. You're the one that hears. The one that listens. The one that used my name. Remember?

(.... O_O .... ok, so he talks a lot!)

You can write.... tell them you like to talk a lot too.... but haven't even showed up for lesson 2... see what think. You busy writing writing... and not learning learning. Show them the truth. Too busy. Always too busy. Too forgetful. Too much looking out there for what's right in here. 

I see you for lesson 2, yes?

(.... yes...)

You go. Turn off that thing. We learn. We grow. I count... 

_____________________

fuck...

now look at what you made me do...

I gotta go.

Step 1... but not really

"And if Love Be Madness, May I Never Find Sanity Again." ~ John Mark Green

______

How does one walk forward... if those around you always sat still?
How can you stand on your own if you were never supported or shown how?

Many find their sustenance through their jobs, through others, through all exterior means...
but who then, finds their sustenance through Source?
Where are these teachers?
Why is this land lacking in those who can stand? Those who can walk?

How can the unconscious ever teach those who are awake?
... let's not do 'whatever they are doing' ...

How can those who live in uncertainty and fear...ever teach something different?
... let's not do 'whatever they are doing' ...

_____________________________________

and I find you here...
this breath
this certainty
among other things, not quite a match to these small words...

teach me...

____

"Teach those that they cannot."
words once spoken to me while I stood as an outsider in the middle of a church...
because why was I here... already filled with vomit from the words of someone
trying to pry money from the hands of those with bleeding hearts...
and I left them... in that moment, not wanting to hear one more word about
the witch doctor and the dog that carried a bible into her house...
so I left them... raptured out in an instant...
and I asked why I was here.... why my body was there... in that experience.
"To teach those that they cannot."
that voice would say...
and fear tactics and sympathy cues and all the horrendous things.... need not be anyone's truth.

and you don't have to listen to anyone other than yourself...
read that again.

_____________

Confidence
bold firm trust; to have full trust
so trust yourself... and all the aspects of such
because all others have fallen short...
all others are sleepwalking...
all others are not guided by source, or by intuition, or by common sense...
they follow their money, they follow their fears, they follow uncertainty...
and they can not teach you anything



__________________

probably be more to write later....
 

50% is enough to see... 51% however...makes it move.

...

I'm going to refrain from analogies today...
okay wait... I'm going to 'try' to refrain from using analogies today.

There's so much happening right now...
aether world speaking...
which in turn also reflects into 3d world speaking too...
and I had the strangest dream...

I think I was shown something... that I caught, but I don't know what I have.
but it's been repeating all day...so I know it's something.
something direly important...
okay...cool... maybe I'll really grasp this whole thing and be able to tell you about it soon

and I've really attained the truth that most of the visual imagery that intervenes into my third eye views really mean way more than I've been assuming... and I will most likely be paying more attention. I will certainly try anyway.
Deciphering is easy enough....but not overlooking them (because there's A LOT, yo) is my task of the rest of my life.

about that...
Roy Mustang.
(hence you'd only get this reference if you actually read all these blog posts and not just the ones I post a link to on facebook) (and I probably won't post this one either...soooo)
about that...
this course I'm in started today and now I'm like looking at all this stuff...and realizing it was showing/giving me all this obvious shit the whole damn time...
maybe this post is about being distracted and not believing all the woolly boolly aether hoopla that pervades my entire existence on an hourly basis every day of my life, except those times I'm just not having it.
 ...
you know......Mustang lighting up some humunculus with the snap of his fingers and fire and flames roasting the entire room like the badass he is... keeps replaying on the vision screen...
and I'm like...yeah, he's cool...
but due to the epiphany that landed the other day...
that would make me the badass....now wouldn't it
and I've fucking stumbled over this link and my stupid ass brain is trying to figure out where it went wrong, lol. How did it miss this?
until it realizes it always knew....but didn't believe itself and fell for the ignorant ruse of 3d world retardation. Yes, retardation, as in SLOW AS FUCK.
You people feel free to keep it, this whole slow land of all your shit you keep grasping for..
I'm outta here.


so whilst I take this course from my real world 3d land coach....
I'm going to take a course in actual world aether land from my other coach(es)
they will work together....
to build and to destroy... and conquer
on both sides
and it will be glorious

 ....



....


not even full attention...
and these water droplets led me up here...
it's like a whirlwind...
this spinning vortex.. tornado... hurricane...
but without the destruction... it's... construction
something surrounding the whole of who you are...
but it too is all of you...
and I'm wondering what full attention would create... what it could create...
and all these pieces swirling around... ready to be assembled and delivered.
This is like IKEA... but you customize it... and then to build it..you just choose the parts...
and they piece together themselves...
and hand delivered... straight to you

not even full attention...
and even as a video plays in the background... and even while writing here...
and even when the video pauses to load more (because wi-fi is lacking in this room)
this place is here and now...
and I see it moving round and round about this space...

what would full attention create?
would it be like meditating..? all good...
but this is now
and what would now give to the now...

__________________________________________


Despite all circumstances and conditions...
fuck the word 'reasonable'

I will not be reasoned with.

It sizzles when you burn through it

~ "What do you want to hear?"
this voice would ask... this subtle sound that uses words, but they sound very different from speech
and I know I'm nearing the top of this wave... where the water droplets float upwards in the stillness
I would answer...sunken deep into the body and into the moments I've grown appealed to.
"I've missed you so much."
Words that embody a response of a welcoming. A welcoming home.
~ "What do you want to feel?"
another question... knowing I was being led somewhere... somewhere beyond the surface
why are these water droplets floating in this silence... I'm coming untethered from the wave, I feel it but I don't look to see...I don't look to see.
"The feeling of being received."
what is the word to describe that? does it exist? trying to reach out to find a suitable match for the feeling into a formed verb, or noun...becomes unneeded and far too difficult to grasp... what is there to grasp up here anyway... this space above the wave where the droplets keep floating upwards, away from the entire ocean, away from the entire motion... this stillness and expansion...ongoing.
~ "What do you want to see?"
an almost expected question comes on the last's heels... but I knew it is not going to be the first answer I dabbled with when I chuckled out the response of "cash in my hand, cash in my pockets, cash in my wallet, and cash in my stash." I laughed... but this voice knew that wasn't anything other than surface jokes... I hovered... and cradled myself back into the feeling... the same story continuously played in various ways throughout the time in this body... this soul's knowing...
"Who I am in those moments."
was that explainable on it's own, because there were no other words to decipher such meanings.
and I was prepared for the next question.... but it wasn't the one that matched my already prepared words...
~ "And... what do you want to learn?"
Learn? I would think... wasn't it supposed to be 'know', not 'learn'? But I knew the voice had me bared up and raw. I didn't have an answer, but Soul did... and Soul didn't hesitate to speak it aloud... whilst I tried to catch it's meaning only as I heard it.
"That I already am."

and it wasn't a lifting, or a diving, or some ecstasy, or a thing to learn...
all of yesterday's rambling questions came reflecting back. As the water droplets turned in the sunlight and dazzled this little soul's pair of dice...
'they are me'
and the feeling wrapped hold like in the stories and in the warmth of the sunlight
and maybe it was a melting... but I saw the veil... the barrier that divides the soul from the body and the soul from the mind and the soul from all the parts of one's self.
'they are me'... 
and melting into it... melts it into one... and how does a five year old know these things...and seek them out without being taught. How does a non five year old know these things...and learn.

________________________

How often we bring war within ourselves to attach our parts back together... to try and make fit things or people that kinda fit, but never make us whole....
Why are so many of us at war with ourselves... or hidden from ourselves... or lost from ourselves... or forgotten by ourselves... or enmity between ourselves...
and every time we find a piece that matches...even sort of... we ask that it makes us whole.
make us whole
but it's not the piece... it's our peace with it....
Make love, not war.

If you were to surrender and give unconditional loyalty and love to anyone.
Give it to yourself first.

you are the conduit
the receiver
the one which plays out the soul and the heavens...
but not while you have child locks on the transmissions....
free yourself

____________________
______________________
____________________
_________________
____________________
______________________
____________________

and what wave?
no more wavering... no more back and forth, up and down,
no more fluctuation
no more restless, unstable energies


rise above the flood waters
into this... space

___________
____________________________





.....



no orders...
so what to do with this time
I don't want to paint
I still have the fish tank background that needs painted...
meh...
writing... just did! that was fun!
I got offered a job with the IAPWE...
but I haven't gotten in the job list yet... probably Monday?
no idea how it works, so don't ask, I'll learn as it goes I suppose
paid off a credit card today
making a roast...
a course I'm in starts soon! yay! I love my human coach too!
5 teenagers make a lot of dirty dishes... just sayin
O_O
huzzah for dishwashers!
Black friday is seemingly very appealing today. there's things I would love to adopt
and use... like today...
like beats headphones... like a quality ukelele!... and something colorful
and a bissel upholstery cleaner I should have bought last year but did that shit thing and talked myself out of it. what a fucker I was.
new rule : always buy cleaning apparatuses, if you need them once...you will need them again and will thank yourself for already having it, every time you use it. <3  (like that little steamer I have!)
I have a list... maybe the yardsale this weekend will have these things...  hmmm !!?!!


I was sitting thinking of something to write on my biz page... cause I'm not working on anything... and more orders are fine and all. I'm free and have plenty of time.... but I kept thinking of only stupid shit to write. Then I thought I could write something nifty or savvy... but that sounded dumb too... then I thought I'd post a gif...but it doesn't have a link for gifs... ...so then I was like, be truthful and say blah blah blah... but then that felt icky vibrational wise... and I was like, okay then.. what does vibrational self want to say... and so ...I'm sitting with that at this moment...
...   well...it was close... my brain is not functioning with all the words today...


holy fuck... epiphany!
(mainly because I'm multi-tasking and keep coming back to write here...)
Kyle Cease talks about living our 10's...
like what things in your life are 10's for you, your fav things to do, or have, or whatnot...
and it had been rather skewed to me what exactly my 10's were...
because I like most (like 90%) of what I do and have... and I would consider them 8 or 9's...and just wasn't sure what the 10-y-est 10's would be...
But I'm watching this video of a friend talking about it... and even though what she's talking about has absolutely nothing to do with my epiphany...something clicked...
My 10's are not 'things' or 'doings' or even 'experiences'... not at all...
and I'm finding this strange, because aren't we supposed to absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE things or stuff or experiences or life events or our doings...?
but I laugh a tad because that has never never never been Soul's thing.
another imposed system by the wiles of society and humanity at large....
so what are they... the 10's... for me anyway...

They are the feelings. The vibrational energies that are my most 10y-est 10's of the toppity top 10/10's.
(How I came to be in this human form is beyond me, but please be kind and remind me to decline next time I decide to come here and do whatever I decided to do...)
All the feels... and I know exactly the ones I want.

and why am I suddenly called to buy some headphones is beyond me....but Soul is so fucking happy about this prospect and wants what she fucking wants. And she's pointing them out like I'm walking her way down the aisle of the electronics section... yes, kiddo... anything for you...can't we wait til the 29th though??



Soul lifts her hand... and silence echoes out from the world...


_________________
_________________
_________________

O_O yeah... that was all fucking beautiful  O_O

.
________
________
________

be courageous and be brave
and in my heart you will remain
forever young



...