Somewhere in the world, something got pummeled.
Maybe it was the CME's from the sun or something else.
Whatever it was...
Please don't return.
I guess we'll find out on the news tomorrow... maybe... eh.
Freaking vibes like that are so uncool.
Uncool, yo. Very uncool.
Let's not next time, okay.
No one has time for such extreme energy fluctuations that have
absolutely zero reason to show their face.
And then go and make my brain try and figure out what the heck the problem is...
have you met my brain, yo!?
the thing gets input from at least 4 different dimensions.
and is highly imaginative....
only imaginative people can relate to what this mind is capable of.
It's similar to having an antenna (your body)
and a receiver (your brain)
a signal is coming in.... (energy from god knows where)
and your body is freaking out...
and your brain is trying to find the station that matches...to figure it out.
To solve what the energy is trying to say...
except it's all garbled and there's no exact channel...
and so it tries to find one close enough to the feeling you are getting...
and it tosses out guesses... bad bad guesses.
Brain: Hey, maybe this one... you totally are misunderstood and worthless!
Body: no yo, not that....
Energy: hardly...
Brain: maybe this one?? ... you suck, judgement, hate, etc etc etc!!
Body: no yo, stop trying to guess idiot...
Energy: No.
Brain: It's them... it's their fault, maybe they are feeling horrible, let's blame them!
Body: at least that's a better guess
Energy: No.
Brain... well fuck... where's all this fucking static coming from? Let's jump off the roof and die.
Body: WTF is wrong with you, chill out Brain.
Energy: Feel this!!!
Brain: oh please, why me????!!!!! Maybe it's a sun flare?
Body: *rolls eyes
Energy: ARRRGHHH!!!
Brain: we should meditate or play farm hero saga for a few hours.
Body: let's do that, both of those.
Energy: wait, what?
Brain: oh good... I think it's gone.
Body: I feel better... I think...
Energy: *numb
Brain: maybe someone I know died
Body: *pulls down curtains
Energy: I feel dead... ugh
Brain: can we not do that again... that sucked... we should watch the news...
Body: I feel completely wiped...that felt terrible.
Energy: *faceplants
Power surge of the not so friendly kind... ugh...
______________________________________________
Projects...
about those...
... they are in progress...
I don't have work orders tomorrow, so going to chill...
and maybe get the youngest out of the house for a few hours.
Will work on at least one of these projects! FUN!
Daily dose of 10 things I love:
colors, bunches of colors
warm blankets
super tiny cute knicknacks
the dark
the forest
little houses
writing
cats
dragons
storms (the worse, the better)
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Monday, November 26, 2018
All. Of. The. Epic.
The Universe will send you your inheritance when it can find you.
Stop hiding from it.
...from yourself...
Stop being the God that walks with his face down.
The one that moves aside when others pass.
The one that agrees, so as not to be a bother.
The one that has given reign to fear.
Do Not bow.
God does not need to hide.
Heaven does not bow to earth.
All the abundance of heaven is yours...
If you don't look like you have good things...or money...or health...
it's because the Universe can't find you.
It can't recognize you.
It's waiting for you to 'be' you.
Stop wearing your masks of mediocrity.
Stop wearing the robes of good enough.
Stop covering yourself with 'I'm fine.'
Stop telling yourself 'no'.
If you were in a jar looking upwards... and the universe were trying to give you an elephant of good things (desires, rewards, dreams)... it couldn't give it to you while you were still in the jar (your fear).
The Universe is not going to shrink itself down to the size of your fears.
You can earn good things...
or
you can just receive them.
Effort stimulates momentum if you are a human 'doing' or 'having'.
To be a human 'being', you have to be effortless.
Allow yourself. All of yourself.
Love yourself. All of yourself.
Completely relinquish the outcome.
Untether from the 'how'.
Allow it all to happen, not make it happen.
You can only attract energy, not earn it.
Go past your desires and they will already belong to you.
Make decisions from where you want to be, not from where you are.
Unhook from low vibrations.
Doing what you want, leads you to the higher vibrations.
Doing what you don't want leads to the lower.
Discard the old and worn out.
Invite the new.
When you live broken, worn, scattered (in pieces)... your life is broken, your bank account, your relationships, your self, your decisions, your desires... are broken, worn, and scattered
When you live fully, complete, and free (as one with yourself)... your life is full, your bank is full, your relationships, desires, decisions, your self... are full, complete, and free.
Everything in your life should be a 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10).
You are the average of the total... so if you have things that are a 6 (relationships) or 3 (money) or 4 (health) or 8 (goals) in your life...
Your life will be a 5... and nobody has time for that. You deserve better.
Your life can be a 10. Choose that.
If your life was a pool.... and you pee in part of the pool (have a 3 rating on your happiness)...
you pee in all of the pool, yo.
Become rich, by being rich (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become healthy, by being healthy (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become _____, by being ______ (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Question:
If you were a millionaire, would you try fixing the sewer line?
Answer:
Of course not (unless you were a millionaire plumber!). You'd get a plumber to do it.
So why are you trying to do things that are not who you are?
Why are you trying to find shortcuts and trickety-tricks to get/do things?
Why are you doing things you dislike?
Why are you wasting time doing things you don't love?
Why do you believe you are not worthy of what you need, what you want?
Why do you think any of your outer circumstances have anything to do with who you are?
Why do you not love yourself enough to give yourself the best?
Why do you deny yourself your own love? Your own forgiveness? Your own desires?
If you met the child you, would you tell them the things you tell yourself?
____________________________________________________________
You're welcome.
Stop hiding from it.
...from yourself...
Stop being the God that walks with his face down.
The one that moves aside when others pass.
The one that agrees, so as not to be a bother.
The one that has given reign to fear.
Do Not bow.
God does not need to hide.
Heaven does not bow to earth.
All the abundance of heaven is yours...
If you don't look like you have good things...or money...or health...
it's because the Universe can't find you.
It can't recognize you.
It's waiting for you to 'be' you.
Stop wearing your masks of mediocrity.
Stop wearing the robes of good enough.
Stop covering yourself with 'I'm fine.'
Stop telling yourself 'no'.
If you were in a jar looking upwards... and the universe were trying to give you an elephant of good things (desires, rewards, dreams)... it couldn't give it to you while you were still in the jar (your fear).
The Universe is not going to shrink itself down to the size of your fears.
You can earn good things...
or
you can just receive them.
Effort stimulates momentum if you are a human 'doing' or 'having'.
To be a human 'being', you have to be effortless.
Allow yourself. All of yourself.
Love yourself. All of yourself.
Completely relinquish the outcome.
Untether from the 'how'.
Allow it all to happen, not make it happen.
You can only attract energy, not earn it.
Go past your desires and they will already belong to you.
Make decisions from where you want to be, not from where you are.
Unhook from low vibrations.
Doing what you want, leads you to the higher vibrations.
Doing what you don't want leads to the lower.
Discard the old and worn out.
Invite the new.
When you live broken, worn, scattered (in pieces)... your life is broken, your bank account, your relationships, your self, your decisions, your desires... are broken, worn, and scattered
When you live fully, complete, and free (as one with yourself)... your life is full, your bank is full, your relationships, desires, decisions, your self... are full, complete, and free.
Everything in your life should be a 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10).
You are the average of the total... so if you have things that are a 6 (relationships) or 3 (money) or 4 (health) or 8 (goals) in your life...
Your life will be a 5... and nobody has time for that. You deserve better.
Your life can be a 10. Choose that.
If your life was a pool.... and you pee in part of the pool (have a 3 rating on your happiness)...
you pee in all of the pool, yo.
Become rich, by being rich (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become healthy, by being healthy (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become _____, by being ______ (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Question:
If you were a millionaire, would you try fixing the sewer line?
Answer:
Of course not (unless you were a millionaire plumber!). You'd get a plumber to do it.
So why are you trying to do things that are not who you are?
Why are you trying to find shortcuts and trickety-tricks to get/do things?
Why are you doing things you dislike?
Why are you wasting time doing things you don't love?
Why do you believe you are not worthy of what you need, what you want?
Why do you think any of your outer circumstances have anything to do with who you are?
Why do you not love yourself enough to give yourself the best?
Why do you deny yourself your own love? Your own forgiveness? Your own desires?
If you met the child you, would you tell them the things you tell yourself?
____________________________________________________________
You're welcome.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Creativity is your Currency
I am flesh and I am bone,
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
I got fire in my soul,
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
________________________________
There's a caravan passing through.
And they are travelers.
And they have room for another passenger.
The empty seat is calling.
These people are magic users.
They search for stories, for myths, for whispers.
To find their place in the world.
Where magic dwells
Where legends are born.
Where the thunder and the lightning kiss.
_________________________________
There's a void that lingers on the abrupt edge of the shallows.
Where the world ends.
The end of the world.
The End of the World.
It's the exact place that is not a place.
The exact place where everything, apart from you alone, exists.
And you realize...
You are the everything.
And the Heavens are you. You are Heaven.
And the world, merely what you are witnessing.
Merely you...in all your beings.
What did he say again?
ah... yes...
"Untether yourself.
... from what is apart from you.
... from what is solid to that which moves.
... from the earth, to the heavens."
And the weight of the world releases you as you step out into the dark.
and you float freely in this radiant space of nothingness.
and the tethers that bind you to the world make their presence known
and tug you, holding you to the earth...
and you witness them, and sever them... and float freely again.
until the next one that was longer yanks...
and you cut yourself loose from each one...
from every one...
until you are free.
until you are free.
_____________________________________
It only took forever...
but the creativity inside has awoken from it's 3 month slumber.
time to get started on a number of projects.
At least five of them.
One is artistic. (and magical, and colorful, and messily awesome!)
One is crafty. (and magical, and challenging, and income savy!)
One is tactical. (and logical, and patience building, and connective!)
One is insightful. (and humorous, and blunt, and inspiring!)
One is magic. (and visual, and emotional, and ordained!)
Can I get these done by the end of the year? ....
(always change 'can' to 'will')
Will I get these done by the end of the year? ...
1. yes
2. yes, but it's ongoing... it's done when I'm done doing it.
3. yes
4. yes
5. maybe... the beginning of it anyway, yes. It's not up to me.
_______________________________________
....this void...
the deep end, basically.
still discovering tethers...
and still unbinding myself from them....
even this morning...
and even the most profound attachments... the ones thought so important...
are being untied and unwound from this soul...
without hesitation...
because BoldAF.
and a little piece of yourself is uncovered from where the binding held you
there I am
<3
____________________________________________
Time is waiting for me.
Must go.
Got 5 projects to get to!
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
I got fire in my soul,
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
________________________________
There's a caravan passing through.
And they are travelers.
And they have room for another passenger.
The empty seat is calling.
These people are magic users.
They search for stories, for myths, for whispers.
To find their place in the world.
Where magic dwells
Where legends are born.
Where the thunder and the lightning kiss.
_________________________________
There's a void that lingers on the abrupt edge of the shallows.
Where the world ends.
The end of the world.
The End of the World.
It's the exact place that is not a place.
The exact place where everything, apart from you alone, exists.
And you realize...
You are the everything.
And the Heavens are you. You are Heaven.
And the world, merely what you are witnessing.
Merely you...in all your beings.
What did he say again?
ah... yes...
"Untether yourself.
... from what is apart from you.
... from what is solid to that which moves.
... from the earth, to the heavens."
And the weight of the world releases you as you step out into the dark.
and you float freely in this radiant space of nothingness.
and the tethers that bind you to the world make their presence known
and tug you, holding you to the earth...
and you witness them, and sever them... and float freely again.
until the next one that was longer yanks...
and you cut yourself loose from each one...
from every one...
until you are free.
until you are free.
_____________________________________
It only took forever...
but the creativity inside has awoken from it's 3 month slumber.
time to get started on a number of projects.
At least five of them.
One is artistic. (and magical, and colorful, and messily awesome!)
One is crafty. (and magical, and challenging, and income savy!)
One is tactical. (and logical, and patience building, and connective!)
One is insightful. (and humorous, and blunt, and inspiring!)
One is magic. (and visual, and emotional, and ordained!)
Can I get these done by the end of the year? ....
(always change 'can' to 'will')
Will I get these done by the end of the year? ...
1. yes
2. yes, but it's ongoing... it's done when I'm done doing it.
3. yes
4. yes
5. maybe... the beginning of it anyway, yes. It's not up to me.
_______________________________________
....this void...
the deep end, basically.
still discovering tethers...
and still unbinding myself from them....
even this morning...
and even the most profound attachments... the ones thought so important...
are being untied and unwound from this soul...
without hesitation...
because BoldAF.
and a little piece of yourself is uncovered from where the binding held you
there I am
<3
____________________________________________
Time is waiting for me.
Must go.
Got 5 projects to get to!
Saturday, November 17, 2018
Thank you.... challenge much?
Dare for Nov 15th (yes, I know it's the 17th...but I'm waiting til the last minute yo...)
-- Write a Thank You note to 50 people. --
(do I even know 50 people?? what... sigh)
and what really is a thank you note?
Is it one of those lame things people write that all sound the same..?
because we are unavailable for lame shit.
We're only available for awesome. Even if others feel overpowered.
We're only available for deep. Even if others drown.
We're only available for real. Even if others are afraid of it.
We're only available for rich. Even if others can't handle the flavor.
Do we know 50 people...? It didn't say they had to be alive... awesome.
So here's this thing I'm doing because it shakes up that muck in the bottom of the ocean...
and you may not like it. and it may still come out lame sounding. and it might take awhile.
and perhaps those being thanked may not ever find this. and perhaps everything written will be construed into something entirely different than what was intended.... but that shit is life and it's all totally awesome for it to go down that way. I don't really give a fuck.
and nothing will be put in any order, because in my world there are six favorites...and I can guarantee you that one writes the shit, the other three never read it, and the other two aren't living in this dimension...sooooo.... no favorites for you.
Thank You to.....
1. Would it be lame to put Jesus first? Like he's just a given... and anyway... I don't think of him as being separate from anyone else... so would this be considered lumping the spirit all into one? Like would the angels and gods and devils also be lumped into this? They all are rather fascinating. And I love them all. -- But if I were to go separate ways with this and do it the 'normal'' (hack hack! I almost choked on that word...) way... He's awesome. Thank you for making an appearance and ripping my threshold for reality into shreds. Because now I base everything on those moments and everything falls exceedingly short. And thanks for the knowing of what it feels like to be in your presence... and for knowing what it feels like to not be. Fuck yes to all of you.... all of us.
That was long, these will totally get shorter. I promise. Maybe we can do 10 a day or something...?
2. My very good friend. Yes, you will be second on my list because I love you. Thank you for never judging me the way I sometimes judge myself. Thank you for never shaming or guilting my mistakes. Thank you for berating me when stupid shit comes from my mouth or thoughts and setting me straight. Thank you for being the mountain and the gentle breeze.
3. My youngest. Thank you for being wiser than me. For correcting my bad parenting and showing me that silence and patience are strengths and not weaknesses. That there's deeper parts of the soul and life that I still haven't ventured to. Thank you for your unlimited outlooks and perceptions only the seers of the world could ever be a part of. And for your silent expressions you have mastered, because words were never your thing.
4. My oldest. Thank you for being the fire. The truthspeaker and blazing energy of forced compassion. For fighting against anything that disturbs you. For speaking out. For using your power for good. Thank you for letting me see there's vibrancy to passion and for teaching me that chaos is beautiful. And for your ability to converse clearly on most days. And for sharing the new hip lingo with me.
5. To the guy I live with. Thank you for letting me witness you. For agreeing to my accompaniment with you through this life. For being the solid tower and not fleeing or bending. Thank you for witnessing me. Thank you for your willingness to let everything fall away from you, except me. Thank you for your harshness and rudeness and struggles... for being real and not hiding. Thank you for allowing me to see every ounce of your soul. I fucking love you, asshole.
6. To myself for obvious reasons. See number one.
I'm going to skip around now randomly...cause patience, yo.
7. To ....this is fucking hard... I have stuff to say, but don't want to give any of it ...fuck... WHY KYLE!!!???
7. To Kyle Cease for making me do this fucking bitch ass challenge. I hate it, and I love that. Thank you for making me directly face the hard shit. Cause BraveAF, yo. And I'm no longer available for bullshit or weak ass scary shit.
8. Thank you to the lady that was playing the ukelele on the side of the road yesterday. You made me smile and say 'Fuck Yes! I love her!'. Cause BraveAF is a real thing and you embodied it.
9. Thank you to the guy who said I was an Atlantian. This has been a fun thing to toy around with. I'm thoroughly enjoying my new heritage.
10. To the guy that asked for the earrings when I used to work at Walgreens. I don't know who/what you are or why you were really there... but I compare all otherworldly meetings to your visit. Thank you for the high vibes I literately drowned in.
11. To the psychic ladies that once ate at Hardee's and were trying to read my mind. Thank you for letting me know I wasn't alone in the land of dumbass blind ignorant humans.
12. Thank you to my sister's friend Rachel. For telling us about the trolls. Whatever awakening was to be had was started because of you sharing.
13. To Aunt Gay. For getting me books every time I went somewhere with you. For having those big dolls that you set up in the yard every Christmas. For being creative and batty at the same time. For your dog Keyla. She used to walk me to the park and back and never got lost. And Patty too.... cause she liked to play all the time.
14. To my dad. Thank you for not being available. Thank you for beginning the long stretch of people who would come to avoid me. Thank you for being you. For putting yourself first (not many people do), as I love that. Thank you for teaching me the importance of having two parents. Thank you for giving up your spot to my very good friend.
15. Thank you Hayao Miyasaki. For showing me that magic and blood and awesomeness are allowed on the screen. That magic doesn't have to be hidden...and neither does violence...or love...or truth.
16. To the Pini's. For ElfQuest. For almost the same reasons as above. ^^ but thank you for giving me the definition of a family. Of a tribe. Of a home.
17. To all of the peeps who showed up after I did that third eye opening thing. Holy fuck. Thank you for all that/this shit.
18. Thank you to David for telling the world to go fuck itself. Thank you for never complying. For putting yourself first. For struggling and being okay with it. Thank you for teaching me to ride a bike. Thank you for showing everyone that all of life is a choice... and there's no wrong choices.
19. To Jodi for your optimism. For your defined moments of irritation and excitement. For getting easily annoyed and easily making it turn around in your favor. For not tolerating bullshit. For deciding what you want and doing it. Yes, yes to all of that.
20. To those homeschool people I used to know. Thank you for showing me how fake and shallow people can be. Thank you for being cliche clones and helping me pinpoint every other clone on earth. Thank you for saying one thing but not living it, even if it was for your christ. Thank you for being an obstacle that I gained strength from.
is that enough for now? fuck yes it is... but I'm on a roll...
21. To mom. Thank you for humoring my outlooks and inspiring daredevil type perceptions. Thank you for recognizing bullshit when it comes. Thank you for ordering those scholastic books every month in school. Thank you for taking me out of that horrid place. Thank you for getting mad at them when they started doing dumb shit. It's great when you're mad, your power lives there.
22. Thank you to Steven for letting me hang out with you when we were kids. For doing that abrupt sigh when people ask for things, it lets them know you are giving in. For being a pushover and going with the flow for as long as you can. For resisting struggle. For slowly letting yourself be seen and heard. For doing weird stupid shit, cause it's funny.
23. To Judy. For being funny. For being sarcastic. For being quick witted and a smartass. Thank you for brushing everything that offends you off your shoulder like crumbs. For being a boss at tolerating others. Thank you for giving everyone permission to embarrass themselves.
24. To Ricky. For your ability to stay focused...at least until your bored with it. For pretending to be brave in front of people. For being honest with yourself in what you want. Thank you for giving me your Elfquest books....uhhh... unless you didn't and I just never gave them back...hmmm... Thank you for being funny at 3am and for always stacking my toys in sexual positions. For being annoying. For being chaotic. I feel you.
25. To Tony. Cause your cool. Thank you for playing mind games with people, it's fun. Thank you for being a smartass. And for being that silent, patient person that knows more than they want to.
26. To Andrea. For putting up with Steven. For doing what is right even when it sucks. For charging head on at anything that disturbs you. For being BoldAF and not shying away from bullshit. For your effort to create and to move yourself forward regardless.
27. Thank you Eric. For being a friend at one time. For not judging my weirdness. For always thinking I was cool. For not arguing with me almost never. Thank you for stepping away when you did...I probably made you, huh? Anyway, thank you for being my first and last friend.
28. To Don... for being annoying. Thank you for ignoring all other outside input except for your own. For taking care of mom. For being curious and always up for learning. For being stubborn.
29. To Uncle Lee. For always making me laugh when you tried to catch me as I passed your big chair.
30. To Tutu. For being you. Thank you for being terrified of hamsters, it was funny. For being witchy, cause we all need a bit of magic.
Um.... here's where we start to run out of people... I fucking hate people.
31. To Jason, for giving and giving. Thank you for helping us pay for things when we were brokeAF. For being supportive. For looking out for others before yourself.
32. To Dale? Thank you for being weird. For being passionate about weird stuff. I like that.
33. To Renee. Thank you for being sparkly and oozing with joyful goodness. For being so calm and clumsy. And for your neat ways of getting others to do things for you.
why the fuck do I only know family... this sucks... I'm so alone, lol. In a good way.
34. To the people who make snickers bars. These are so fucking good, especially if you haven't had one in a long time.
35. Krispie Kreme donuts... thank you for those delicacies of delight.
36. To Mercuriel for being patient. For never showing any sign of weariness. For handling things like a boss.
37. To the council. Thank you for finding me entertaining and/or fascinating. For usually voting for me versus against me.
38. Thank you to ShadowDragon Dreams. For giving me an outlet and challenge. For being one of those inspired things I didn't ever have to chase. Thank you for tapping out and topping out. Thank you for being okay with me retiring too.
39. Angel of MidKnight. Having multiple lives is so much better than just having this one. And yeah, there's more than just that world.
40. Killian O'Malley. Thank you for your soft crudeness. For your humor and vileness. For your honesty and lies.
this is boring... almost done now, sooo...
41.uuuuuuhhhhh.... fuck...to the word fuck. Both verb and noun and adjective.
42. to astral projection... weird.
43. empath abilities. thanks for fucking me over until I figured out what you were.
44. to the four seraphim. If I were afraid of anything, it'd be you.
45. to weird things I see out of the corner of my eye. thanks for making me feel crazy.
46. to the universe. obvious reasons. see number one.
47. to ufos. Thank you for not letting me see any for the past few years. I'm ready again. Let's go.
48. to solar eclipses. the most amazing thing ever.
49. to the moon. because heavenly thrones belong to the chosen
50. to heaven. and being the witness of this world while we dwell among you. see number one.
51. to life. to death. to the light. to the dark. and all of us inbetween.
fuck sakes, finally. I probably forgot people, but I don't care. Like speilberg, or studio ghibli, or other people I should be thanking for buying a script from me in the future. Disney, Pixar.?? Warner bros... blumhouse? Lionsgate? paramount?
ugh, dinner. I did the 50 so there you have it. marking this as complete.
-- Write a Thank You note to 50 people. --
(do I even know 50 people?? what... sigh)
and what really is a thank you note?
Is it one of those lame things people write that all sound the same..?
because we are unavailable for lame shit.
We're only available for awesome. Even if others feel overpowered.
We're only available for deep. Even if others drown.
We're only available for real. Even if others are afraid of it.
We're only available for rich. Even if others can't handle the flavor.
Do we know 50 people...? It didn't say they had to be alive... awesome.
So here's this thing I'm doing because it shakes up that muck in the bottom of the ocean...
and you may not like it. and it may still come out lame sounding. and it might take awhile.
and perhaps those being thanked may not ever find this. and perhaps everything written will be construed into something entirely different than what was intended.... but that shit is life and it's all totally awesome for it to go down that way. I don't really give a fuck.
and nothing will be put in any order, because in my world there are six favorites...and I can guarantee you that one writes the shit, the other three never read it, and the other two aren't living in this dimension...sooooo.... no favorites for you.
Thank You to.....
1. Would it be lame to put Jesus first? Like he's just a given... and anyway... I don't think of him as being separate from anyone else... so would this be considered lumping the spirit all into one? Like would the angels and gods and devils also be lumped into this? They all are rather fascinating. And I love them all. -- But if I were to go separate ways with this and do it the 'normal'' (hack hack! I almost choked on that word...) way... He's awesome. Thank you for making an appearance and ripping my threshold for reality into shreds. Because now I base everything on those moments and everything falls exceedingly short. And thanks for the knowing of what it feels like to be in your presence... and for knowing what it feels like to not be. Fuck yes to all of you.... all of us.
That was long, these will totally get shorter. I promise. Maybe we can do 10 a day or something...?
2. My very good friend. Yes, you will be second on my list because I love you. Thank you for never judging me the way I sometimes judge myself. Thank you for never shaming or guilting my mistakes. Thank you for berating me when stupid shit comes from my mouth or thoughts and setting me straight. Thank you for being the mountain and the gentle breeze.
3. My youngest. Thank you for being wiser than me. For correcting my bad parenting and showing me that silence and patience are strengths and not weaknesses. That there's deeper parts of the soul and life that I still haven't ventured to. Thank you for your unlimited outlooks and perceptions only the seers of the world could ever be a part of. And for your silent expressions you have mastered, because words were never your thing.
4. My oldest. Thank you for being the fire. The truthspeaker and blazing energy of forced compassion. For fighting against anything that disturbs you. For speaking out. For using your power for good. Thank you for letting me see there's vibrancy to passion and for teaching me that chaos is beautiful. And for your ability to converse clearly on most days. And for sharing the new hip lingo with me.
5. To the guy I live with. Thank you for letting me witness you. For agreeing to my accompaniment with you through this life. For being the solid tower and not fleeing or bending. Thank you for witnessing me. Thank you for your willingness to let everything fall away from you, except me. Thank you for your harshness and rudeness and struggles... for being real and not hiding. Thank you for allowing me to see every ounce of your soul. I fucking love you, asshole.
6. To myself for obvious reasons. See number one.
I'm going to skip around now randomly...cause patience, yo.
7. To ....this is fucking hard... I have stuff to say, but don't want to give any of it ...fuck... WHY KYLE!!!???
7. To Kyle Cease for making me do this fucking bitch ass challenge. I hate it, and I love that. Thank you for making me directly face the hard shit. Cause BraveAF, yo. And I'm no longer available for bullshit or weak ass scary shit.
8. Thank you to the lady that was playing the ukelele on the side of the road yesterday. You made me smile and say 'Fuck Yes! I love her!'. Cause BraveAF is a real thing and you embodied it.
9. Thank you to the guy who said I was an Atlantian. This has been a fun thing to toy around with. I'm thoroughly enjoying my new heritage.
10. To the guy that asked for the earrings when I used to work at Walgreens. I don't know who/what you are or why you were really there... but I compare all otherworldly meetings to your visit. Thank you for the high vibes I literately drowned in.
11. To the psychic ladies that once ate at Hardee's and were trying to read my mind. Thank you for letting me know I wasn't alone in the land of dumbass blind ignorant humans.
12. Thank you to my sister's friend Rachel. For telling us about the trolls. Whatever awakening was to be had was started because of you sharing.
13. To Aunt Gay. For getting me books every time I went somewhere with you. For having those big dolls that you set up in the yard every Christmas. For being creative and batty at the same time. For your dog Keyla. She used to walk me to the park and back and never got lost. And Patty too.... cause she liked to play all the time.
14. To my dad. Thank you for not being available. Thank you for beginning the long stretch of people who would come to avoid me. Thank you for being you. For putting yourself first (not many people do), as I love that. Thank you for teaching me the importance of having two parents. Thank you for giving up your spot to my very good friend.
15. Thank you Hayao Miyasaki. For showing me that magic and blood and awesomeness are allowed on the screen. That magic doesn't have to be hidden...and neither does violence...or love...or truth.
16. To the Pini's. For ElfQuest. For almost the same reasons as above. ^^ but thank you for giving me the definition of a family. Of a tribe. Of a home.
17. To all of the peeps who showed up after I did that third eye opening thing. Holy fuck. Thank you for all that/this shit.
18. Thank you to David for telling the world to go fuck itself. Thank you for never complying. For putting yourself first. For struggling and being okay with it. Thank you for teaching me to ride a bike. Thank you for showing everyone that all of life is a choice... and there's no wrong choices.
19. To Jodi for your optimism. For your defined moments of irritation and excitement. For getting easily annoyed and easily making it turn around in your favor. For not tolerating bullshit. For deciding what you want and doing it. Yes, yes to all of that.
20. To those homeschool people I used to know. Thank you for showing me how fake and shallow people can be. Thank you for being cliche clones and helping me pinpoint every other clone on earth. Thank you for saying one thing but not living it, even if it was for your christ. Thank you for being an obstacle that I gained strength from.
is that enough for now? fuck yes it is... but I'm on a roll...
21. To mom. Thank you for humoring my outlooks and inspiring daredevil type perceptions. Thank you for recognizing bullshit when it comes. Thank you for ordering those scholastic books every month in school. Thank you for taking me out of that horrid place. Thank you for getting mad at them when they started doing dumb shit. It's great when you're mad, your power lives there.
22. Thank you to Steven for letting me hang out with you when we were kids. For doing that abrupt sigh when people ask for things, it lets them know you are giving in. For being a pushover and going with the flow for as long as you can. For resisting struggle. For slowly letting yourself be seen and heard. For doing weird stupid shit, cause it's funny.
23. To Judy. For being funny. For being sarcastic. For being quick witted and a smartass. Thank you for brushing everything that offends you off your shoulder like crumbs. For being a boss at tolerating others. Thank you for giving everyone permission to embarrass themselves.
24. To Ricky. For your ability to stay focused...at least until your bored with it. For pretending to be brave in front of people. For being honest with yourself in what you want. Thank you for giving me your Elfquest books....uhhh... unless you didn't and I just never gave them back...hmmm... Thank you for being funny at 3am and for always stacking my toys in sexual positions. For being annoying. For being chaotic. I feel you.
25. To Tony. Cause your cool. Thank you for playing mind games with people, it's fun. Thank you for being a smartass. And for being that silent, patient person that knows more than they want to.
26. To Andrea. For putting up with Steven. For doing what is right even when it sucks. For charging head on at anything that disturbs you. For being BoldAF and not shying away from bullshit. For your effort to create and to move yourself forward regardless.
27. Thank you Eric. For being a friend at one time. For not judging my weirdness. For always thinking I was cool. For not arguing with me almost never. Thank you for stepping away when you did...I probably made you, huh? Anyway, thank you for being my first and last friend.
28. To Don... for being annoying. Thank you for ignoring all other outside input except for your own. For taking care of mom. For being curious and always up for learning. For being stubborn.
29. To Uncle Lee. For always making me laugh when you tried to catch me as I passed your big chair.
30. To Tutu. For being you. Thank you for being terrified of hamsters, it was funny. For being witchy, cause we all need a bit of magic.
Um.... here's where we start to run out of people... I fucking hate people.
31. To Jason, for giving and giving. Thank you for helping us pay for things when we were brokeAF. For being supportive. For looking out for others before yourself.
32. To Dale? Thank you for being weird. For being passionate about weird stuff. I like that.
33. To Renee. Thank you for being sparkly and oozing with joyful goodness. For being so calm and clumsy. And for your neat ways of getting others to do things for you.
why the fuck do I only know family... this sucks... I'm so alone, lol. In a good way.
34. To the people who make snickers bars. These are so fucking good, especially if you haven't had one in a long time.
35. Krispie Kreme donuts... thank you for those delicacies of delight.
36. To Mercuriel for being patient. For never showing any sign of weariness. For handling things like a boss.
37. To the council. Thank you for finding me entertaining and/or fascinating. For usually voting for me versus against me.
38. Thank you to ShadowDragon Dreams. For giving me an outlet and challenge. For being one of those inspired things I didn't ever have to chase. Thank you for tapping out and topping out. Thank you for being okay with me retiring too.
39. Angel of MidKnight. Having multiple lives is so much better than just having this one. And yeah, there's more than just that world.
40. Killian O'Malley. Thank you for your soft crudeness. For your humor and vileness. For your honesty and lies.
this is boring... almost done now, sooo...
41.uuuuuuhhhhh.... fuck...to the word fuck. Both verb and noun and adjective.
42. to astral projection... weird.
43. empath abilities. thanks for fucking me over until I figured out what you were.
44. to the four seraphim. If I were afraid of anything, it'd be you.
45. to weird things I see out of the corner of my eye. thanks for making me feel crazy.
46. to the universe. obvious reasons. see number one.
47. to ufos. Thank you for not letting me see any for the past few years. I'm ready again. Let's go.
48. to solar eclipses. the most amazing thing ever.
49. to the moon. because heavenly thrones belong to the chosen
50. to heaven. and being the witness of this world while we dwell among you. see number one.
51. to life. to death. to the light. to the dark. and all of us inbetween.
fuck sakes, finally. I probably forgot people, but I don't care. Like speilberg, or studio ghibli, or other people I should be thanking for buying a script from me in the future. Disney, Pixar.?? Warner bros... blumhouse? Lionsgate? paramount?
ugh, dinner. I did the 50 so there you have it. marking this as complete.
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
Breathe. All things are good.
Why on earth would people be complacent to do the same things..
over and over...?
Like a job?
Doing the same task... tasks... the same the same...
fucking boring...
are you really okay with being a robot?
a machine?
a program?
one that can only do this and not that...
or all of this...
but only this...
How does a master remain a master and be fed?
fed with fresh food.
fresh inspiration.
new outlooks.
new growth.
Do trees stop growing?
Do rivers stop flowing?
Do the stars stop burning?
Does the earth stop turning?
Can you listen to the same song forever?
can you dance the same dance forever?
could you?
Would you?
Will you?
Not this one.
Not this one.
A star unafraid of burning out.
A forest unafraid of the fires.
A mountain unafraid of the earthquakes.
Embracing the chaos.
dance with me.
let's make love in the oasis of life.
You will find no fear in these eyes.
No thought of destruction.
Energy never dies.
and you chose to spend it with me.
Hallelujah...
_________________________________________
A creative outlet is required.
Like immediately.
Nothing calls out.
Everything dares not approach at the moment.
Perhaps hesitant of this force of glory.
Unsure of where the boundaries lie.
Oh...but you see... this is not for you timid ones...
what I offer is for the bold. and for the brave. and for those able to stand.
Dare you take my hand...?
_________________________________________
5 days.
and this soul laughs...
not in joy per se... not hardly.
more devious. suspicious. waiting for the pitch to hit me.
heaven has opened up.
and all these things are available.
and parts of me reach out to take bits and pieces...
and I've yet to know what they have obtained.
why does this soul plan things way before telling me... wtf.
feel it, I can... but know it... I know it'll be good and surprising
I know it will come at me like a cold ass wave I forgot was coming.
Invigorating.
Scary.
Confusing at first, but supreme in design after realization hits.
Amazing.
Terrifying.
Panic inducing.
Peace bringing.
and I say 'YES' to all of this.
because all beautiful things are caught in an unbreakable balance.
What will it be?
No clue.
But I accept.
Because BraveAF.
and the laughing.... just got a bit hysterical...
and I can tell they added something to it... to give it 'punch' they say...
and I hear their whispers... their giggles... snickers...
Their eyes are lit up like sparkling sunshine. Smiles across their faces.
Waiting to display this creation before me...
Like children.
I expect to be horrified and astounded.
I expect to join in their manic laughter and slightly cringe in terror.
I expect to be stricken with awe and tempted to run.
because I feel it coming...
and all these energies are sending out their warning...
and the council watches from behind some other layer they think I can't see.
and ... now they are giving glances to one another on how I knew...
and sighs... ah... I love them trying to make me forget they are there.
anyway...
what comes will be a test.
to see if BraveAF and BoldAF and AmazingAF will survive.
I know this.
And I know it will be equal to the fear.
The greater the fear, the greater the joy.
Yes.
Yes to all of this.
I accept.
Bring it before me.
I am ready. (and a slightly bit terrified..)
*thumbs up
^^^ now let's remember all that, yo. ^^^
I'll let you know what it is when it gets here!!
over and over...?
Like a job?
Doing the same task... tasks... the same the same...
fucking boring...
are you really okay with being a robot?
a machine?
a program?
one that can only do this and not that...
or all of this...
but only this...
How does a master remain a master and be fed?
fed with fresh food.
fresh inspiration.
new outlooks.
new growth.
Do trees stop growing?
Do rivers stop flowing?
Do the stars stop burning?
Does the earth stop turning?
Can you listen to the same song forever?
can you dance the same dance forever?
could you?
Would you?
Will you?
Not this one.
Not this one.
A star unafraid of burning out.
A forest unafraid of the fires.
A mountain unafraid of the earthquakes.
Embracing the chaos.
dance with me.
let's make love in the oasis of life.
You will find no fear in these eyes.
No thought of destruction.
Energy never dies.
and you chose to spend it with me.
Hallelujah...
_________________________________________
A creative outlet is required.
Like immediately.
Nothing calls out.
Everything dares not approach at the moment.
Perhaps hesitant of this force of glory.
Unsure of where the boundaries lie.
Oh...but you see... this is not for you timid ones...
what I offer is for the bold. and for the brave. and for those able to stand.
Dare you take my hand...?
_________________________________________
5 days.
and this soul laughs...
not in joy per se... not hardly.
more devious. suspicious. waiting for the pitch to hit me.
heaven has opened up.
and all these things are available.
and parts of me reach out to take bits and pieces...
and I've yet to know what they have obtained.
why does this soul plan things way before telling me... wtf.
feel it, I can... but know it... I know it'll be good and surprising
I know it will come at me like a cold ass wave I forgot was coming.
Invigorating.
Scary.
Confusing at first, but supreme in design after realization hits.
Amazing.
Terrifying.
Panic inducing.
Peace bringing.
and I say 'YES' to all of this.
because all beautiful things are caught in an unbreakable balance.
What will it be?
No clue.
But I accept.
Because BraveAF.
and the laughing.... just got a bit hysterical...
and I can tell they added something to it... to give it 'punch' they say...
and I hear their whispers... their giggles... snickers...
Their eyes are lit up like sparkling sunshine. Smiles across their faces.
Waiting to display this creation before me...
Like children.
I expect to be horrified and astounded.
I expect to join in their manic laughter and slightly cringe in terror.
I expect to be stricken with awe and tempted to run.
because I feel it coming...
and all these energies are sending out their warning...
and the council watches from behind some other layer they think I can't see.
and ... now they are giving glances to one another on how I knew...
and sighs... ah... I love them trying to make me forget they are there.
anyway...
what comes will be a test.
to see if BraveAF and BoldAF and AmazingAF will survive.
I know this.
And I know it will be equal to the fear.
The greater the fear, the greater the joy.
Yes.
Yes to all of this.
I accept.
Bring it before me.
I am ready. (and a slightly bit terrified..)
*thumbs up
^^^ now let's remember all that, yo. ^^^
I'll let you know what it is when it gets here!!
Friday, November 9, 2018
Not everyone will reach the summit.
Geez. My last post was on the second.
Where have I been all week?
... aligning the fuck out of my manifestation powers, biotch!
where else would I be...
of course... ya gotta watch your thoughts, yo
otherwise they give you exactly what you think...
yeah... about that.
those in the know.... know.
________________________________________________
This soul.
The one watching.
She sees the letters on the page, but is unable...
nay... unwilling to speak.
There's nothing for her to give.
Nothing she wants to anyway.
For the words would splash on your face
perhaps like spit.
or perhaps like a slobber.
or perhaps like the cold ocean.
and those would be your words.
Your words that couldn't see what you were given.
A splash of life and thrill.
of the kiss of love.
of the daring hand of the sea.
You would miss it.
Because you can't hear the moon.
And you can't feel the music.
And you can't see spirits.
You don't know her.
And you wonder why she stands patient beside you.
Wearing a mask... so as not to cause you suffering.
Wearing a cloak... so as not to blind you.
Killing herself... so as not to kill you.
No...
she stands there because she can't leave.
not that she doesn't want to.
_______________________________________________
crazy crazy crazy
It's evident that you can't come with me.
Not everyone is able to climb.
Not everyone is able to find their way.
Not everyone is like me.
... and they don't have what they need... not yet
This is where one departs from the other.
The place of ...
Goodbye.
Where have I been all week?
... aligning the fuck out of my manifestation powers, biotch!
where else would I be...
of course... ya gotta watch your thoughts, yo
otherwise they give you exactly what you think...
yeah... about that.
those in the know.... know.
________________________________________________
This soul.
The one watching.
She sees the letters on the page, but is unable...
nay... unwilling to speak.
There's nothing for her to give.
Nothing she wants to anyway.
For the words would splash on your face
perhaps like spit.
or perhaps like a slobber.
or perhaps like the cold ocean.
and those would be your words.
Your words that couldn't see what you were given.
A splash of life and thrill.
of the kiss of love.
of the daring hand of the sea.
You would miss it.
Because you can't hear the moon.
And you can't feel the music.
And you can't see spirits.
You don't know her.
And you wonder why she stands patient beside you.
Wearing a mask... so as not to cause you suffering.
Wearing a cloak... so as not to blind you.
Killing herself... so as not to kill you.
No...
she stands there because she can't leave.
not that she doesn't want to.
_______________________________________________
crazy crazy crazy
It's evident that you can't come with me.
Not everyone is able to climb.
Not everyone is able to find their way.
Not everyone is like me.
... and they don't have what they need... not yet
This is where one departs from the other.
The place of ...
Goodbye.
Friday, November 2, 2018
Next level me is not available for any delays.
Epiphany.
That realization that comes to you while you are conversing at random.
and your barriers and blockages and things that cast a shadow across your fucking portals...
are lit up like a christmas tree and you are like.
"oh. well fuck. No wonder!"
because you automatically just know shit.
and so you then absolutely know what needs to be done.
to unblock, unstick, unbarricade that glorious awesomeness...
and yeah... those steps aren't easy for everyone...
but luckily... I am me... and I'm BraveAF.
and FearlessAF
and this shit is incredibly fun for me.
So... off we go to take said actions that are recommended for the commencement
of super saiyan jedi universal flow.
and AlignedAF will be the next phase of this story.
Cause I write as I go...and it will be fabulous!
____________________________________
so I spent an hour or so taking care of ^^^ all that ^^^
I feel like a smile.
like a dance.
like a laugh.
and this is real life.
______________________________________
looks like christmas is going up this weekend
YAY!
feels like Christmas today, lol!
I released blockages and entered some screenwriting contests.
Long live the Queen!
Huzzah!
All you need is love!
Love for yourself, yo!
Love is all you need!
Love yourself like you deserve.
....
how many fruit roll-ups can you eat before you turn red?
hmmm...
I love Halloween candy.
It tastes better than other candy... why is that?
it tastes a specific way too.
*shrugs
there's these fruit assortment things I get at Publix...
and they are usually this lovely price of over $5...
at least for the ones with berries in it.
and I'm complimenting the fact that the one with berries in it, tastes absolutely delectable.
yes it does.
The oldest and I are the only ones who eats them, and the berry batch wont last through tomorrow.
but holy moly... it is delicious. I'm glad I bought it.
I'm glad. Because those berries reminded me of the greatness we all deserve.
The sweetness. the juiciness. The fruit of life.
We deserve that, yo. You deserve that.
Go out and get it.
Stop blocking yourself.
Stop building barricades between you and your desires.
Stop making yourself available for all the bullshit.
like doubt, fear, shame, regret, lies you tell yourself....
Open the doors... Shine the light.
Don't be skeptical of your greatness.
Trust, yo.
_________________________________
_______________________________
___________________________________
I just realized that maybe that venture into the Inner Realm...
was a precurser to 3-dimensional action...
like... mirror image... but a few days later...
cause of refraction or some shit... idk, I'm just spouting science-y lingo...
cause it sounds cool.
(This is awesome!!! )
Last year I was hanging at DisneyWorld.
And this year I visited Hollywood, USA.
next year is a mystery...
but I'm sure there's something involving the Smithsonian and the beach on the roster.
the hotel we go to usually sends me this fantastic deal during the holidays...
so I'll jump on that when it comes..
And well... Smithsonian might be a spring thing.
The trees will look pretty in DC by then.
Photo op, yo!
And I'm anticipating doing some odd and end photoshoots.
like really odd...
for a calendar or two...
Haven't started another screenplay yet...
still waiting for readers for Victory to get back with me...
except the two that finally did...
but they don't like my lenient mother mouse, LOL!
because teaching kids that not all mothers are assholes is evidently a no-go, LOL!
cultural conditioning is impeding my expansion...lol.
so waiting for feedback from the others willing... we'll see.
Outta here, got some book reading to attend to.
Sky monsters of the highlands must scour their graves for the bones of the fairies..
and breathe life unto them once again...and they shall rise...and conquer their foes..
Carry a flashlight and a switch and hope, just hope, they spare your life.
Offering them a gumdrop usually works, btw.
The sky monsters like drums.... so play for them...play for them...
pa rum pa pum pum.
____EEEkkk there was a raccoon on my porch today!!!! LOVE <3
That realization that comes to you while you are conversing at random.
and your barriers and blockages and things that cast a shadow across your fucking portals...
are lit up like a christmas tree and you are like.
"oh. well fuck. No wonder!"
because you automatically just know shit.
and so you then absolutely know what needs to be done.
to unblock, unstick, unbarricade that glorious awesomeness...
and yeah... those steps aren't easy for everyone...
but luckily... I am me... and I'm BraveAF.
and FearlessAF
and this shit is incredibly fun for me.
So... off we go to take said actions that are recommended for the commencement
of super saiyan jedi universal flow.
and AlignedAF will be the next phase of this story.
Cause I write as I go...and it will be fabulous!
____________________________________
so I spent an hour or so taking care of ^^^ all that ^^^
I feel like a smile.
like a dance.
like a laugh.
and this is real life.
______________________________________
looks like christmas is going up this weekend
YAY!
feels like Christmas today, lol!
I released blockages and entered some screenwriting contests.
Long live the Queen!
Huzzah!
All you need is love!
Love for yourself, yo!
Love is all you need!
Love yourself like you deserve.
....
how many fruit roll-ups can you eat before you turn red?
hmmm...
I love Halloween candy.
It tastes better than other candy... why is that?
it tastes a specific way too.
*shrugs
there's these fruit assortment things I get at Publix...
and they are usually this lovely price of over $5...
at least for the ones with berries in it.
and I'm complimenting the fact that the one with berries in it, tastes absolutely delectable.
yes it does.
The oldest and I are the only ones who eats them, and the berry batch wont last through tomorrow.
but holy moly... it is delicious. I'm glad I bought it.
I'm glad. Because those berries reminded me of the greatness we all deserve.
The sweetness. the juiciness. The fruit of life.
We deserve that, yo. You deserve that.
Go out and get it.
Stop blocking yourself.
Stop building barricades between you and your desires.
Stop making yourself available for all the bullshit.
like doubt, fear, shame, regret, lies you tell yourself....
Open the doors... Shine the light.
Don't be skeptical of your greatness.
Trust, yo.
_________________________________
_______________________________
___________________________________
I just realized that maybe that venture into the Inner Realm...
was a precurser to 3-dimensional action...
like... mirror image... but a few days later...
cause of refraction or some shit... idk, I'm just spouting science-y lingo...
cause it sounds cool.
(This is awesome!!! )
Last year I was hanging at DisneyWorld.
And this year I visited Hollywood, USA.
next year is a mystery...
but I'm sure there's something involving the Smithsonian and the beach on the roster.
the hotel we go to usually sends me this fantastic deal during the holidays...
so I'll jump on that when it comes..
And well... Smithsonian might be a spring thing.
The trees will look pretty in DC by then.
Photo op, yo!
And I'm anticipating doing some odd and end photoshoots.
like really odd...
for a calendar or two...
Haven't started another screenplay yet...
still waiting for readers for Victory to get back with me...
except the two that finally did...
but they don't like my lenient mother mouse, LOL!
because teaching kids that not all mothers are assholes is evidently a no-go, LOL!
cultural conditioning is impeding my expansion...lol.
so waiting for feedback from the others willing... we'll see.
Outta here, got some book reading to attend to.
Sky monsters of the highlands must scour their graves for the bones of the fairies..
and breathe life unto them once again...and they shall rise...and conquer their foes..
Carry a flashlight and a switch and hope, just hope, they spare your life.
Offering them a gumdrop usually works, btw.
The sky monsters like drums.... so play for them...play for them...
pa rum pa pum pum.
____EEEkkk there was a raccoon on my porch today!!!! LOVE <3
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