"Looking up from underneath
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me
As before I went under
And it's peaceful in the deep
Cathedral where you cannot breathe
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under all
And it's breaking over me
A thousand miles down to the sea bed
Found the place to rest my head
Never let me go
Never let me go
Never let me go
Never let me go
And the arms of the ocean are carrying me
And all this devotion was rushing out of me
In the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me
But the arms of the ocean delivered me"
Welcome. This is where you will find a piece....although the puzzle is scattered and partly hidden under the film of fear. So easy to break through. So easy to see through if one could perceive such miracles. Today is rebirthed...and tomorrow is forever. There's no going back, although one could forget.....we always forget. But we travel on the tides, on and on. Deeper and deeper. No, not till we find our place...our place is the ocean as a whole....we always belong, even if the roaring waves aren't too sure of that peace.
Just keep swimming....just keep swimming. Today we swim....tomorrow we exit. Like sugar poured in water....never leaving....only fading into something better.
Much going on. Too much. Busy Busy Busy. All the 'little things' suffering under the weight of the 'immediate'....or in my case...the 'immediate' suffering under the weight of the 'little things'. But priorities have been arranged....and its much less regretful to let those immediate things wait, then to miss even one little thing.....for the little things are what really matter anyway. And you already know that, I hope.
Long list of work, short list of other things that need done. But everything on these lists are trumped by warm coffee, rescuing giant spiders who lost their way inside the house, an over creative child who must have that costume item sewn NOW!, a cat that tells you when his 'mommy holding time' is, a hubby who need guidance in the best way to do whatever it is he may be doing, and the little boy whose not so little anymore who wants a grilled cheese 'like right now' even if you are in bed trying to sleep, the other cat that must inform you that his food bowl is again not full enough for him to only take 3 bites, obsessive urges to do strange photoshoots, and this problem that you are stuck on level 170 something on Candy Crush and since you only have 5 lives anyway, you might as well take advantage of it......all this prior to humoring that list, lol.
Welcome to my life scenario at the moment.
All of those little things accompanied by larger things that still outweigh the list as well...like finances or lack of such things, the headache of renting a house that is far away, injury and/or health issues, other stuff that isn't on that list, and these things just keep going. So those immediate things suffer....and thankfully the boss man is good at filling in the gaps and helps get things done.....I'm certainly doing a bang up job. psh!
Anyway.....Things are beautiful...always.
And it's over
And I'm going under
But I'm not giving up
I'm just giving in
I'm slipping underneath
So cold and so sweet
And the arms of the ocean so sweet and so cold
And all this devotion I never knew at all
In the crushes of heaven for a sinner released
And the arms of the ocean delivered me
Friday, August 9, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Holy "....." Batman! O__O Look at that.....just look at that.
I no longer think that I'm the problem. Nope. It's not me who is unwilling nor unable. Perhaps a slight lack of focus and energy, but not my fault.
You see...there are signs along the road. Things leading you to 'do' a certain task of sorts. You see them daily, these synchronicities...coincidences per say. And you know they are sign posts. But...to complete these tasks, one must pick up the tools along the road that aid in the completion of such tasks.
Someone is hiding these tools, I do believe. So we must go on little hunts, little challenges to gather these tools. All the whole trying our best to continue forward on the road itself! To not forget the signs while we search for the things that help us do what the signs are leading us to do! Get that?
Ah, yes...the wicked angel playing his tricks, trying to deter you from doing something important. Hiding tools in along the roadside, in the bushes, burying them to keep them out of view....trying his best to lead you into doubt. Trying to make you forget. Trying to make it harder so you become frustrated and curse the signs.
Ah...yes, but I know this game well. You may try to come through the back door, but you can't win this game. Ya see....I have all the cheat codes.
It may take me a bit to remember which game I'm playing, I admit, I suffer from a serious form of spiritual amnesia. But once I get that figured out, or remembered. I still win. Hope you had your fun while it lasted. Bye bye now.
Did I tell you? I decided to scrap a whole outfit and make a new one, since the first wasn't making me all happy. I have 2 more days to get it finished. O__O
It is cut out. I did prep all the appliques for it today as well. Will sew it up tomorrow, and hopefully get the appliques sewn on it too. then Sunday I can finish it up. And ship Monday.
It would be so nice if for once things worked out like they could.
Sometimes they do though. Yep, sometimes they do.
I'm going to call that little rotten one who hides 'tools' and complicates important work mr.J ...which stands for the Joker....Jester....Fool....Jealous Loser when he loses this game! Ha!
Want to know what he's up to? He's making things like red food dye hard to find in the store! But tis okay, Batman has provided and brought it to me via mom.
mr.J likes to make something simple like a old baby blanket (or something that looks like one (and can get stained) not available. But tis okay. Batman will save the day yet again. Just need to shine the signal, lift our eyes up, and let Him handle it.
Then I can do that 'task' those signs are leading me to do.
Of course though....mr.J will send his minions out to try and sabotage my efforts, probably get some negative feedback (I'm expecting this actually), and attempt to inject fear or doubt into this process.
Ah yes....but Batman is on speed dial. And He's already given me the cheat codes. Sorry mr.J, we haven't even started and you've already lost.
So the other day was rather insightful. there's this unschooling facebook group I linger on occasionally. And one lady on there posted something that to me was quite insightful..........
"part of unschooling us grownups is addressing the mental tapes we have left over - things like "being productive" and "not wasting time/money" and "earning what you get" and "following through". We can do things just because we want to, because it looks interesting, and stop if it no longer meets a need/want. We can get/explore things we want when we want and if there's money involved, figure out how to get it rather than having to wait for a holiday or something to 'earn' it. Basically, treating ourselves as gently and lovingly as we do our kids and encouraging our own passions within ourselves no matter what it might be. It's getting ourselves one of those balsa gliders at the fair even though we know they have a lifespan of maybe an hour of use (instead of letting the tape of 'it'll break in an hour, it's a waste of money' rule)."
........... I suffer from this type of trauma. This dialogue of thinking things must 'produce' something to be of worth. but in fact, things can just 'be' and be beautiful. Not everything has to have purpose. Even if we 'feel' lacking on the scale of productivity or purpose or meaning.... doesn't mean we are lacking at all. Perhaps more full. ... the cup that runneth over.... we are just getting wet and aren't sure where to pour out upon. Silly cups. I'm pretty sure someone is thirsty, but we might just be blinded by the bubbles. So fill up, then pour out gently upon the parched earth.
God bless my very good friend. Just saying.
Dang....it's late (or early depending how you look at it O__O!!)
Sleep is needed. Praying for all you people. mr.J likes to mess with everyone.... Batman can fix that. Just ask Him to....ya know, send out the signal...yada yada, you know the drill.
You see...there are signs along the road. Things leading you to 'do' a certain task of sorts. You see them daily, these synchronicities...coincidences per say. And you know they are sign posts. But...to complete these tasks, one must pick up the tools along the road that aid in the completion of such tasks.
Someone is hiding these tools, I do believe. So we must go on little hunts, little challenges to gather these tools. All the whole trying our best to continue forward on the road itself! To not forget the signs while we search for the things that help us do what the signs are leading us to do! Get that?
Ah, yes...the wicked angel playing his tricks, trying to deter you from doing something important. Hiding tools in along the roadside, in the bushes, burying them to keep them out of view....trying his best to lead you into doubt. Trying to make you forget. Trying to make it harder so you become frustrated and curse the signs.
Ah...yes, but I know this game well. You may try to come through the back door, but you can't win this game. Ya see....I have all the cheat codes.
It may take me a bit to remember which game I'm playing, I admit, I suffer from a serious form of spiritual amnesia. But once I get that figured out, or remembered. I still win. Hope you had your fun while it lasted. Bye bye now.
Did I tell you? I decided to scrap a whole outfit and make a new one, since the first wasn't making me all happy. I have 2 more days to get it finished. O__O
It is cut out. I did prep all the appliques for it today as well. Will sew it up tomorrow, and hopefully get the appliques sewn on it too. then Sunday I can finish it up. And ship Monday.
It would be so nice if for once things worked out like they could.
Sometimes they do though. Yep, sometimes they do.
I'm going to call that little rotten one who hides 'tools' and complicates important work mr.J ...which stands for the Joker....Jester....Fool....Jealous Loser when he loses this game! Ha!
Want to know what he's up to? He's making things like red food dye hard to find in the store! But tis okay, Batman has provided and brought it to me via mom.
mr.J likes to make something simple like a old baby blanket (or something that looks like one (and can get stained) not available. But tis okay. Batman will save the day yet again. Just need to shine the signal, lift our eyes up, and let Him handle it.
Then I can do that 'task' those signs are leading me to do.
Of course though....mr.J will send his minions out to try and sabotage my efforts, probably get some negative feedback (I'm expecting this actually), and attempt to inject fear or doubt into this process.
Ah yes....but Batman is on speed dial. And He's already given me the cheat codes. Sorry mr.J, we haven't even started and you've already lost.
So the other day was rather insightful. there's this unschooling facebook group I linger on occasionally. And one lady on there posted something that to me was quite insightful..........
"part of unschooling us grownups is addressing the mental tapes we have left over - things like "being productive" and "not wasting time/money" and "earning what you get" and "following through". We can do things just because we want to, because it looks interesting, and stop if it no longer meets a need/want. We can get/explore things we want when we want and if there's money involved, figure out how to get it rather than having to wait for a holiday or something to 'earn' it. Basically, treating ourselves as gently and lovingly as we do our kids and encouraging our own passions within ourselves no matter what it might be. It's getting ourselves one of those balsa gliders at the fair even though we know they have a lifespan of maybe an hour of use (instead of letting the tape of 'it'll break in an hour, it's a waste of money' rule)."
........... I suffer from this type of trauma. This dialogue of thinking things must 'produce' something to be of worth. but in fact, things can just 'be' and be beautiful. Not everything has to have purpose. Even if we 'feel' lacking on the scale of productivity or purpose or meaning.... doesn't mean we are lacking at all. Perhaps more full. ... the cup that runneth over.... we are just getting wet and aren't sure where to pour out upon. Silly cups. I'm pretty sure someone is thirsty, but we might just be blinded by the bubbles. So fill up, then pour out gently upon the parched earth.
God bless my very good friend. Just saying.
Dang....it's late (or early depending how you look at it O__O!!)
Sleep is needed. Praying for all you people. mr.J likes to mess with everyone.... Batman can fix that. Just ask Him to....ya know, send out the signal...yada yada, you know the drill.
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