How can I love myself more?
Ask yourself that question,
when the world wraps you in chaos and plummets you
into the depths of the fury.
Let him embrace you.
The dark knight that pours out his pain and blasphemy.
Let him speak and writhe.
Hear the torture he feels. Give him space.
Let him remain safe with you.
How else can he find his way home if all doors are locked?
Love him.
It's not hard when you can love yourself.
Know you are the safe space. The fortress of peace.
Know you are the womb that can carry a soul.
The goddess that allows others to grow.
Allow, because you are allowed.
There are many ways to fight, but not all of them are with a sword.
Love the dark enough and it will no longer be dark.
Do you have limitations on your love?
Is there enough for yourself?
Fill yourself up.... then pour out, pour out.
Drown them all, the sufferers in the land beyond you.
____________________________________________________
Full moon eclipse energy, planets in retrograde.
I'm loving this.
It feels so unstable, but I have good balance.
Insights and intuitive lessons flow easily.
I'm listening.
Always listening... even when the storm rages.
Do you not listen for the voice?
Can you...Will you not hear?
Listen! Listen!
____________________________________________________
I've warned you.
I will not wait for you. I will leave you behind.
I can't, I won't, stay here with you.
I will move forward. Upward. Outward.
Prepare yourselves.
I'm not here to drag you, or save you, or help you.
I will devour you if you are not careful.
Be warned. Be prepared.
I am the Goddess... and I will thrive.
_____________________________________________________
that was fun.
picking up paint tomorrow.
1 work order, lol. I guess I'm on break?
have important projects and scheduled activities lined up.
on chapter 5 still in book...almost to 6
I'm pouring out love to myself
I'm allowing myself to receive the love I give too. (this is so important!)
feeling amazingballs.
feeling like the world is going to skyrocket soon, I smell the rocket fuel.
I love love love this! Exciting as fuck amazingness is going to go down!
or up! or out! who cares, it's going to be fantastic!
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Friday, July 27, 2018
hear my words that I might teach you...
this thing entered my aware-house today...
not at the time, but afterwards...
at the store, the grocery store...
that phrase, that fucking phrase...
did you find everything all right?
did you find everything you were looking for?
how are you today?
I'm raging.
not mad...not annoyed...
I'm littered in pity for you.
Pity that you demean yourself so.
Pity that you do as you're told.
Pity that you give your soul to do meaningless chores.
Pity that you ask those same questions to every fucking customer that passes your register.
Just stop.
Please fucking stop.
There are people who absolutely love that sort of job, but I know you are not one of them.
otherwise you wouldn't have repeated the same question twice...or was it thrice?
please for the love of any god that reigns upon your kingdom...fucking stop the bullshit.
Stop fucking giving leeway to every thing you 'should' do and fucking do whatever you really love to do. If you don't know what it is, then at least stop doing the things that are not what you love.
Please please please for the sake of Jesus Christ... once you clear out what you do not love, every space will fill with love. I swear this to you.
Please stop treating yourself like you deserve punishment.
You do not.
Stop treating yourself like you must be careful, or secure, or safe, or even 'good'.
You always always always are. This is not your job.
Stop acting like you have to prove yourself, or that you need to overcome...
for fuck's sake... you are the overcoming itself. You are above every fucking thing you see.
You don't need to earn anything. ASK and it will be given.
Stop playing around the edges of eternity and fucking jump in.
If these thoughts had came to me while I stood before you, I would have thrown you a curveball.
I would have said no.
But you would have said, oh no, can I get someone to look for it for you...
fucking stop! I don't want your help. I don't even want you to speak. Be silent. For I'd rather hear nothing than that fake bullshit that pours from your lips.
How are you today? I'm littered in pity.
but then you'll say... oh no, why, bad day? or you'll smile that smile that needs cut open with a pocket knife. Why so serious?
the same fucking record playing through every soul that lives within your dimension. over and over and over and over. The same comments. The same expressions. The same cloned existence that can't escape. Please wake up.
I'm unable to help you, unless you can hear the story behind the words...
I'm unwilling to wait for you. I will leave you behind. I will leave you behind.
I'm no savior. I'm not here for you.
________________________________________________________
the blood moon shines.... and this is the second death....
get ready for it.... things are about to explode like nobody's business.
Metallica plays in the background.... and this rhythm is like an energetic match to what's waiting behind the next door.
Open it! Open it!!!! It's going to start fast and move fast, but it won't leave you in the dark.
By the turn of the year... this person you think you are now....will be obsolete.
Welcome to the age of Aquarius.... bearing the waters within.... pour them out children...
Pour it all the fuck out. Drown everyone with your awesomeness.
________________________________________________________
Update on the purge...
upstairs is done and it's all cleaned except to mop n' glo the floors...I ran out.
purging downstairs is on the agenda
painting my living room is on the agenda
chapter 5 is on the agenda...totally getting there!
outline for next script is on the agenda
zucchini bread...
meeting the math teacher people next week for the oldest
hunting down a media console for my new living room too
work orders.... maybe next week, none right now
need to watch script videos sometime soon
need to dive in for another edit session with completed scripts
I really want to exercise...but not really... but yeah... ugh. Is there a way to just manifest this, that would be totally easier than actually having to move yourself....?
I feel like owning a costume.... but do I want to sew it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't make me die laughing.... I have other plans, thank you.
Is it midnight pirate dress-up hour? ...no... *sadness.
"Nothing is true; everything is permitted"
not at the time, but afterwards...
at the store, the grocery store...
that phrase, that fucking phrase...
did you find everything all right?
did you find everything you were looking for?
how are you today?
I'm raging.
not mad...not annoyed...
I'm littered in pity for you.
Pity that you demean yourself so.
Pity that you do as you're told.
Pity that you give your soul to do meaningless chores.
Pity that you ask those same questions to every fucking customer that passes your register.
Just stop.
Please fucking stop.
There are people who absolutely love that sort of job, but I know you are not one of them.
otherwise you wouldn't have repeated the same question twice...or was it thrice?
please for the love of any god that reigns upon your kingdom...fucking stop the bullshit.
Stop fucking giving leeway to every thing you 'should' do and fucking do whatever you really love to do. If you don't know what it is, then at least stop doing the things that are not what you love.
Please please please for the sake of Jesus Christ... once you clear out what you do not love, every space will fill with love. I swear this to you.
Please stop treating yourself like you deserve punishment.
You do not.
Stop treating yourself like you must be careful, or secure, or safe, or even 'good'.
You always always always are. This is not your job.
Stop acting like you have to prove yourself, or that you need to overcome...
for fuck's sake... you are the overcoming itself. You are above every fucking thing you see.
You don't need to earn anything. ASK and it will be given.
Stop playing around the edges of eternity and fucking jump in.
If these thoughts had came to me while I stood before you, I would have thrown you a curveball.
I would have said no.
But you would have said, oh no, can I get someone to look for it for you...
fucking stop! I don't want your help. I don't even want you to speak. Be silent. For I'd rather hear nothing than that fake bullshit that pours from your lips.
How are you today? I'm littered in pity.
but then you'll say... oh no, why, bad day? or you'll smile that smile that needs cut open with a pocket knife. Why so serious?
the same fucking record playing through every soul that lives within your dimension. over and over and over and over. The same comments. The same expressions. The same cloned existence that can't escape. Please wake up.
I'm unable to help you, unless you can hear the story behind the words...
I'm unwilling to wait for you. I will leave you behind. I will leave you behind.
I'm no savior. I'm not here for you.
________________________________________________________
the blood moon shines.... and this is the second death....
get ready for it.... things are about to explode like nobody's business.
Metallica plays in the background.... and this rhythm is like an energetic match to what's waiting behind the next door.
Open it! Open it!!!! It's going to start fast and move fast, but it won't leave you in the dark.
By the turn of the year... this person you think you are now....will be obsolete.
Welcome to the age of Aquarius.... bearing the waters within.... pour them out children...
Pour it all the fuck out. Drown everyone with your awesomeness.
________________________________________________________
Update on the purge...
upstairs is done and it's all cleaned except to mop n' glo the floors...I ran out.
purging downstairs is on the agenda
painting my living room is on the agenda
chapter 5 is on the agenda...totally getting there!
outline for next script is on the agenda
zucchini bread...
meeting the math teacher people next week for the oldest
hunting down a media console for my new living room too
work orders.... maybe next week, none right now
need to watch script videos sometime soon
need to dive in for another edit session with completed scripts
I really want to exercise...but not really... but yeah... ugh. Is there a way to just manifest this, that would be totally easier than actually having to move yourself....?
I feel like owning a costume.... but do I want to sew it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't make me die laughing.... I have other plans, thank you.
Is it midnight pirate dress-up hour? ...no... *sadness.
"Nothing is true; everything is permitted"
Monday, July 23, 2018
For the love of..... all things green.
How do you want to be loved?
Like a sunset? Watched with awe and serenity and calm.
Folded in the warmth of radiant ember glows.
A settling. A mixture of rest and repose.
A looking outward, only to find you are looking inward.
Like a fire? Held en-rapt by the turning of times.
Dancing like a wild heart, flitting to and fro.
A moving. A guide for hope and safety.
An inward fury of life, chaos to all who watch.
Like a forest? Ages of wisdom and breath.
Growing upward to the skies and deeply into the hearts.
Cascading across miles and miles and miles.
Being complete as one and as each other.
Like a river? Brushing past the edges.
A way maker to smooth down the harsh world.
Winding, rampant, tumultuous, divinity.
Lifeblood of magic and source.
Like a mountain? Safe and strong and unbreakable.
Powerful and dynamic. Standing as a hope for the blessed.
A secure and protective generating truth.
Mighty, trustworthy, everlasting home.
Like the moon? Rippled in the darkness, yet shining.
A place of refuge. A place of belonging.
Beholden by the young. Beloved by the old.
Mysterious and free. Wild wild dream.
_______________________________________
Or shall you love yourself as everything?
The truth within you. The doubt. The questions. The knowing.
The power and fury and wild wild savagery.
Fragile. Pain. Love. Depth. Anger. Rage. Sacredness.
All these parts of you.
You are the universe.
The twists and turns and caverns and mountain tops.
The canyons, the rivers, the valleys, the oceans deep.
All carried within one drop of a soul.
You are the colors of sunset, of sunrise. Of the falling snow.
The silence of an owl's flight and the crash of the waves.
The eternal. The goddess. The truth. The tides and the sands.
Love what you hate. Love what you are. There are no rules.
You are free. You are wild.
A wild soul casting out upon the earth for a time.
Following yourself home.
How do you want to be loved?
Love yourself like that.
______________________________________________
Eek! chapter 3 of book 5
I'm loving myself.
excited for some awesome happenings!
like tomorrow.
No work orders....so I get another day to do ^^ that stuff.
I say another...but I did work this morning... haha I forgot.
considering starting outline for next screenplay....
I'm pretty sure it's going to be Killian. ...
(I think he got that animation one in a choke hold and caused it to pass out.... ugh)
this will be my first comedy... like rated PG 13 comedy... if not R
It'll be close...
it'll prepare me for the other stupid comedies somewhere in line.
they will not be as edgy, but family comedies....Killian...not so much... O_O
I get to bird sit for the next few days. I'll be sure to post pics...
if I remember...
Oh...and trip planning time! (for like the year 2020, before the aliens come)
who's coming with?!
for when I sell the screenplay on that rude ass leprechaun...
that's my reward...and for my youngest....he likes castles and ruins.
I'll let you guess where we are going!!!!!!!! :)
I haven't done that little 5 mini-goal list yet.
I have 3 out of the 6 finished.
one of them seems to be a bit of a challenge...
I haven't found a compatible solution yet for it.
another I'm planning to still do.... but pinterest, yo.
the other... will be taken care of shortly. I'm kinda waiting to
see how much my $$$ is... idfk why though. It really doesn't matter.
I have the money now... even after tomorrow... ;)
but bravery, yo.... I can't remember what that is at the moment.... maybe tomorrow.
I'll leave you hanging now....going to do the meditate thing and
see if anyone wants to chat tonight.
Nigh night, tai chi lifesavers of brandy wine and expresso tea. Put four sugar cubes of lemonade sunshine in your cup and smile big so the kinkaju can take your picture. Click!
Like a sunset? Watched with awe and serenity and calm.
Folded in the warmth of radiant ember glows.
A settling. A mixture of rest and repose.
A looking outward, only to find you are looking inward.
Like a fire? Held en-rapt by the turning of times.
Dancing like a wild heart, flitting to and fro.
A moving. A guide for hope and safety.
An inward fury of life, chaos to all who watch.
Like a forest? Ages of wisdom and breath.
Growing upward to the skies and deeply into the hearts.
Cascading across miles and miles and miles.
Being complete as one and as each other.
Like a river? Brushing past the edges.
A way maker to smooth down the harsh world.
Winding, rampant, tumultuous, divinity.
Lifeblood of magic and source.
Like a mountain? Safe and strong and unbreakable.
Powerful and dynamic. Standing as a hope for the blessed.
A secure and protective generating truth.
Mighty, trustworthy, everlasting home.
Like the moon? Rippled in the darkness, yet shining.
A place of refuge. A place of belonging.
Beholden by the young. Beloved by the old.
Mysterious and free. Wild wild dream.
_______________________________________
Or shall you love yourself as everything?
The truth within you. The doubt. The questions. The knowing.
The power and fury and wild wild savagery.
Fragile. Pain. Love. Depth. Anger. Rage. Sacredness.
All these parts of you.
You are the universe.
The twists and turns and caverns and mountain tops.
The canyons, the rivers, the valleys, the oceans deep.
All carried within one drop of a soul.
You are the colors of sunset, of sunrise. Of the falling snow.
The silence of an owl's flight and the crash of the waves.
The eternal. The goddess. The truth. The tides and the sands.
Love what you hate. Love what you are. There are no rules.
You are free. You are wild.
A wild soul casting out upon the earth for a time.
Following yourself home.
How do you want to be loved?
Love yourself like that.
______________________________________________
Eek! chapter 3 of book 5
I'm loving myself.
excited for some awesome happenings!
like tomorrow.
No work orders....so I get another day to do ^^ that stuff.
I say another...but I did work this morning... haha I forgot.
considering starting outline for next screenplay....
I'm pretty sure it's going to be Killian. ...
(I think he got that animation one in a choke hold and caused it to pass out.... ugh)
this will be my first comedy... like rated PG 13 comedy... if not R
It'll be close...
it'll prepare me for the other stupid comedies somewhere in line.
they will not be as edgy, but family comedies....Killian...not so much... O_O
I get to bird sit for the next few days. I'll be sure to post pics...
if I remember...
Oh...and trip planning time! (for like the year 2020, before the aliens come)
who's coming with?!
for when I sell the screenplay on that rude ass leprechaun...
that's my reward...and for my youngest....he likes castles and ruins.
I'll let you guess where we are going!!!!!!!! :)
I haven't done that little 5 mini-goal list yet.
I have 3 out of the 6 finished.
one of them seems to be a bit of a challenge...
I haven't found a compatible solution yet for it.
another I'm planning to still do.... but pinterest, yo.
the other... will be taken care of shortly. I'm kinda waiting to
see how much my $$$ is... idfk why though. It really doesn't matter.
I have the money now... even after tomorrow... ;)
but bravery, yo.... I can't remember what that is at the moment.... maybe tomorrow.
I'll leave you hanging now....going to do the meditate thing and
see if anyone wants to chat tonight.
Nigh night, tai chi lifesavers of brandy wine and expresso tea. Put four sugar cubes of lemonade sunshine in your cup and smile big so the kinkaju can take your picture. Click!
Thursday, July 19, 2018
The PURGE
Level 41
....you should really try out the list challenge... even though I do the list of 6, and the roll of the dice chooses one of the challenges for me, I still do some of the others... I'm probably around 75% accomplished in total.
This time I got number 3 (again) - fyi, I roll a 3 most often, followed by 2 and 4, rarely a 1 or 6.
This sucks, because I find myself really thinking about what I put on number 3 now, lol.
I get to do a 5 goal mini-RUSH!
that's getting to choose 5 mini goals that you want to get done asap, no excuses, no delays, no blah blah blah, you fucking put them on the list and do it before you do anything else.
this would be a good time to notify you that I'm sort of a procrastinator.
I do things that I want most of the time, and the others things get put on a list just so I don't forget them. And then other things pop up that are more important (to me) so I do those next... otherwise the list stuff gets done when I feel ready to put forth the energy towards them. Or just when I'm really tired of writing them down again.... and I say fuck it and do them. Like all in a crash course, just because I rather not write them down...
this would probably be a good time to also mention that I like to do things the hard way... at least perceived by others (or actually my way I perceive how others perceive...?)
I'm totally overexplaining...and rambling... and explaining what I'm doing...
fuck
I'm not going to do that anymore... not that I actually do it much... just feels like it...
My list of 5 mini goals...
1. write chapter 2
2. plan for where I'd like to be by end of the year (like aspects: physically, mentally, financially, etc.) clarity, yo. Drifting is only fun 75% of the time...
3. pay off a credit card ...$450... basically... waiting for my paycheck
4. .... cookies
5. .... 4runner seat cover replaced
+ 6. .... PURGE the old worn out shit!
*******
would love to start on a script....
would love to go to the beach....
I have $20 in Kohl's cash to spend....
cookies... I want some cookies... ^ edit list!
seat cover for 4runner... no worn out shit in my life, bro. ^ edit the list!
I like that... no worn out shit in my life...
no worn out shit in my life...
I feel a purge coming on. that sounds really fun...
let's do it!
^ edit list!
I better stop before I find more stuff that sounds fun!
thanks for helping me come up with goals!
who knew.
probably go swimming in a little bit
I'm going to go make cookies.
....you should really try out the list challenge... even though I do the list of 6, and the roll of the dice chooses one of the challenges for me, I still do some of the others... I'm probably around 75% accomplished in total.
This time I got number 3 (again) - fyi, I roll a 3 most often, followed by 2 and 4, rarely a 1 or 6.
This sucks, because I find myself really thinking about what I put on number 3 now, lol.
I get to do a 5 goal mini-RUSH!
that's getting to choose 5 mini goals that you want to get done asap, no excuses, no delays, no blah blah blah, you fucking put them on the list and do it before you do anything else.
this would be a good time to notify you that I'm sort of a procrastinator.
I do things that I want most of the time, and the others things get put on a list just so I don't forget them. And then other things pop up that are more important (to me) so I do those next... otherwise the list stuff gets done when I feel ready to put forth the energy towards them. Or just when I'm really tired of writing them down again.... and I say fuck it and do them. Like all in a crash course, just because I rather not write them down...
this would probably be a good time to also mention that I like to do things the hard way... at least perceived by others (or actually my way I perceive how others perceive...?)
I'm totally overexplaining...and rambling... and explaining what I'm doing...
fuck
I'm not going to do that anymore... not that I actually do it much... just feels like it...
My list of 5 mini goals...
1. write chapter 2
2. plan for where I'd like to be by end of the year (like aspects: physically, mentally, financially, etc.) clarity, yo. Drifting is only fun 75% of the time...
3. pay off a credit card ...$450... basically... waiting for my paycheck
4. .... cookies
5. .... 4runner seat cover replaced
+ 6. .... PURGE the old worn out shit!
*******
would love to start on a script....
would love to go to the beach....
I have $20 in Kohl's cash to spend....
cookies... I want some cookies... ^ edit list!
seat cover for 4runner... no worn out shit in my life, bro. ^ edit the list!
I like that... no worn out shit in my life...
no worn out shit in my life...
I feel a purge coming on. that sounds really fun...
let's do it!
^ edit list!
I better stop before I find more stuff that sounds fun!
thanks for helping me come up with goals!
who knew.
probably go swimming in a little bit
I'm going to go make cookies.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
Missing my coral colored birds
ok then, scratch that....the present is boring.
especially if you aren't working on something.
meditate! you say...
no, at peace already.... I have everything already.
do something inspiring! you say
no, I'm not feeling very inspired lately.
work towards a goal! you say
like what? If I'm satisfied where I'm at, where is there to go?
so this has been fun to deal with....
time to level up.... this is like the waiting room before entering the arena.
boring....
give me a fucking sword already, I want to hack and slash shit.
I took care of business... like
appointments
school curriculum stuff
student financial aid paperwork
work orders
grocery lists
cleaned the cat litter
made the youngest fail at holding in a smile
ok...Alexandria did that...
watched a movie
got schoolwork ready for this semester
(um...yeah, we do curriculum.... a little different than most...but still)
probably need to take care of these things... like
washing dishes... I swear these fuckers never get 'finished'
clean my bedroom... and actually put the damn clothes away
write on book more
let Alexandria do a few vines... not that vine is a thing anymore.
make a list on some sort of goal.... what do I want if I have everything, argh!
maybe just for the joy of breaking the time record on my manifestation super saiyan jedi shit.
I am competitive, even if it's against myself.... yeah...clarity on that.
and I forgot I was going to conquer the world.... wasn't that it? I can't remember now...
oh wait... I have... well fuck.
probably sit with my pieces of possible story for script because I seriously just want to start on another one, like yesterday. Maybe if I just tell it to get a move on.... I can feel in purpose.
I did not make the quarter-finals in contest. That's cool though. I have another one for next time.
I feel like a photoshoot too, but not sure on what.
Holy shit! I can do senior pictures!! Have to arrange a meeting with the oldest.
hey, I feel better already.... I should write more...
I'm gonna go do something funner.
Later!
Hot pocket butter pecan pineapple marmelade and ricochet sauce. Light that fire up and toss it in the credenzo so we can shoot off to the space rocket arena of fantastical fox tails and mermaid dreams. No not ecstacy, but something more legit, like folgers coffee with a dash of 3rd eye manipulations....with flamingos on top....
Speaking of... I have not found my flamingos...
especially if you aren't working on something.
meditate! you say...
no, at peace already.... I have everything already.
do something inspiring! you say
no, I'm not feeling very inspired lately.
work towards a goal! you say
like what? If I'm satisfied where I'm at, where is there to go?
so this has been fun to deal with....
time to level up.... this is like the waiting room before entering the arena.
boring....
give me a fucking sword already, I want to hack and slash shit.
I took care of business... like
appointments
school curriculum stuff
student financial aid paperwork
work orders
grocery lists
cleaned the cat litter
made the youngest fail at holding in a smile
ok...Alexandria did that...
watched a movie
got schoolwork ready for this semester
(um...yeah, we do curriculum.... a little different than most...but still)
probably need to take care of these things... like
washing dishes... I swear these fuckers never get 'finished'
clean my bedroom... and actually put the damn clothes away
write on book more
let Alexandria do a few vines... not that vine is a thing anymore.
make a list on some sort of goal.... what do I want if I have everything, argh!
maybe just for the joy of breaking the time record on my manifestation super saiyan jedi shit.
I am competitive, even if it's against myself.... yeah...clarity on that.
and I forgot I was going to conquer the world.... wasn't that it? I can't remember now...
oh wait... I have... well fuck.
probably sit with my pieces of possible story for script because I seriously just want to start on another one, like yesterday. Maybe if I just tell it to get a move on.... I can feel in purpose.
I did not make the quarter-finals in contest. That's cool though. I have another one for next time.
I feel like a photoshoot too, but not sure on what.
Holy shit! I can do senior pictures!! Have to arrange a meeting with the oldest.
hey, I feel better already.... I should write more...
I'm gonna go do something funner.
Later!
Hot pocket butter pecan pineapple marmelade and ricochet sauce. Light that fire up and toss it in the credenzo so we can shoot off to the space rocket arena of fantastical fox tails and mermaid dreams. No not ecstacy, but something more legit, like folgers coffee with a dash of 3rd eye manipulations....with flamingos on top....
Speaking of... I have not found my flamingos...
Sunday, July 15, 2018
One would be wise to live in the present.
I've realized a serious issue....
so I started my book, yo
....and well...you see....
screenplays need to be in present tense...
like saying 'Bob writes his name and leaves the room.'
but books are usually past tense.
like 'Bob wrote his name and left the room.'
and this is a struggle...
because I actively had to catch the past tense shit while writing my scripts
and go back and edit and edit and edit...just for that one issue....
so .....
here's the deal...
the book will need to be in present tense....
cause I don't want to get into a bad habit of writing past tense shit...
and anyway...we should all live in the present.
So that doubles up on the good feng-shui for our spirits...
so yeah.
Also, another problem....
I'm only about 3 pages in and need to rearrange things.... cause I forgot
there are other things that need to happen first... like, A LOT of things.... O_O
oy vey!
for scripts I use beat cards to outline shit before I write...
I never have for my books, at least not more than a few pieces of small ass note paper.
and now I'm like having to rearrange my brain conductors to fire off differently
and back into book format.
Well, at least I'm glad to be hanging out with my characters.
Too bad someone is going to die.
.....
and the battery in the laptop...is being a bitch.
I don't trust it....so after every paragraph I save the file...
paranoia at it's best.
In other worlds...
I'm choosing some big ass alchemic alterations for my psyche.
And this means some awesome shit is on the way.
and...whoa...hold the phone!
One of the competitions I entered are supposed to announce the quarter-finalists today.
Eeeek!
Did you know Athena was born from Jupiter's forehead after he ate her mother.
Just a random bit of mythology I read yesterday...
What might have really happened was Jupiter (the planet) covered over a star or moon (hence ate it)
and a comet or other star moved out from behind Jupiter at the top (hence forehead/birth)
Maybe he thought her up in his imagination? Created her with quantum gravity anomalies of frequency protons? Science, yo.
just sayin' - maybe I'll ask them about it.
Athena is the Goddess of wisdom, crafts, and war.
I'm still not sure why she's hanging around. She doesn't look like the pictures on google, btw.
She as a golden crown (helmet?) with wings on it. And seems a bit ruthless in a way....
I'm not sure about her just yet. She's been sending me owls though.
whatever... I'm sure I'll find out eventually.
I think on a whim stuff is fun.
Looks like a trip to the beach is on the horizon
just because I want to go.
and a trip to best buy is inevitable.
coffee... .... must leave you now....
I'll probably be back...
cookout later today
work orders tomorrow
need to watch a movie so I can send it back to netflix
write book....and not stay up late.
probably other things that aren't coming to me right now....
ta ta, heroes of chalk dust and mathmatics, let the goddess of wisdom scour you with her ever so kind rhetoric comments about the sun and it's aphelion circumferences of diabolic dance machines in the heavens and in the realms of Hades. Dance dance dance.
so I started my book, yo
....and well...you see....
screenplays need to be in present tense...
like saying 'Bob writes his name and leaves the room.'
but books are usually past tense.
like 'Bob wrote his name and left the room.'
and this is a struggle...
because I actively had to catch the past tense shit while writing my scripts
and go back and edit and edit and edit...just for that one issue....
so .....
here's the deal...
the book will need to be in present tense....
cause I don't want to get into a bad habit of writing past tense shit...
and anyway...we should all live in the present.
So that doubles up on the good feng-shui for our spirits...
so yeah.
Also, another problem....
I'm only about 3 pages in and need to rearrange things.... cause I forgot
there are other things that need to happen first... like, A LOT of things.... O_O
oy vey!
for scripts I use beat cards to outline shit before I write...
I never have for my books, at least not more than a few pieces of small ass note paper.
and now I'm like having to rearrange my brain conductors to fire off differently
and back into book format.
Well, at least I'm glad to be hanging out with my characters.
Too bad someone is going to die.
.....
and the battery in the laptop...is being a bitch.
I don't trust it....so after every paragraph I save the file...
paranoia at it's best.
In other worlds...
I'm choosing some big ass alchemic alterations for my psyche.
And this means some awesome shit is on the way.
and...whoa...hold the phone!
One of the competitions I entered are supposed to announce the quarter-finalists today.
Eeeek!
Did you know Athena was born from Jupiter's forehead after he ate her mother.
Just a random bit of mythology I read yesterday...
What might have really happened was Jupiter (the planet) covered over a star or moon (hence ate it)
and a comet or other star moved out from behind Jupiter at the top (hence forehead/birth)
Maybe he thought her up in his imagination? Created her with quantum gravity anomalies of frequency protons? Science, yo.
just sayin' - maybe I'll ask them about it.
Athena is the Goddess of wisdom, crafts, and war.
I'm still not sure why she's hanging around. She doesn't look like the pictures on google, btw.
She as a golden crown (helmet?) with wings on it. And seems a bit ruthless in a way....
I'm not sure about her just yet. She's been sending me owls though.
whatever... I'm sure I'll find out eventually.
I think on a whim stuff is fun.
Looks like a trip to the beach is on the horizon
just because I want to go.
and a trip to best buy is inevitable.
coffee... .... must leave you now....
I'll probably be back...
cookout later today
work orders tomorrow
need to watch a movie so I can send it back to netflix
write book....and not stay up late.
probably other things that aren't coming to me right now....
ta ta, heroes of chalk dust and mathmatics, let the goddess of wisdom scour you with her ever so kind rhetoric comments about the sun and it's aphelion circumferences of diabolic dance machines in the heavens and in the realms of Hades. Dance dance dance.
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Say YES to everything.
More of this.
More of all of this.
All of this.
I want more.
______________________
the depth.
the fear
the part where you feel your getting your life wrung to death by Thanos.
and your suffocating
and you can't breathe
and the world is cast in the blackness of the dark
....
and the sun rises
and it heals... too slowly
the vibrations linger on and on and on
will it ever end
then it is all forgotten...
all but the fear
but it wasn't even fear...
it was everything...
fear, love, boundless joy, safety, terror
oh, the ALL of it at once.
pouring out pouring out pouring out
how can you live in the midst of twilight...
how can you live being pulled apart by the light and dark
by the sun and moon
the ocean and land
the darkness wrings tighter and the sun glows softly....
this battle...
will it ever end...
this battle.
this barzakh between worlds....
can you even stand at the threshold forever...
till you're torn apart
ripped into two...
fucking tear me open....
tear me open
MORE OF THIS
MORE OF ALL OF THIS
I WANT MORE!
_____________________________________________
perhaps the universe has forgotten who it had forged...
or does it remember....?
Could you forget your child...
_____________________________________________
shit is about to get real.... again
something big is coming
something BIG is coming....
are you ready?
for the wave...for the wave....
it's coming... and it's going to be huge.
I'm so freaking excited....cause I feel it...and when you feel it....
you know what it means....even if you can't understand it...
Yes... come.
Lately.... work orders.
I'm not sure what else I do.
Still in between scripts....
Book? ....ummmm yeah...
I'm thinking of starting on it tonight... for real this time!
Like really real. ... moreso than watching a movie.
Seriously...
Do you know how .... ........ um..... de-structive it is to stand
in the midst of the light and dark? It's beyond being focused...or distracted...
It's a motionlessness.
A sitting still.... where you can't move... at least not efficiantly.
and any step...usually means 3 steps back...
it's....just....not....ready....
my subconscious knows this even if my conscious wants to do the things...
and still tries to do the things...
....
so...that's where I'm at...
but I have a surfboard ready.... cause it's coming...
the wave, the wave!!
Get ready!! It will be amazing.
then the book will start...and the script at the same time, cause the
universe likes to fuck with me.
and money! and weird cool shit!
and trips! and new teachers and guides!
(cause right now I'm learning shit from my very good friend... which is awesome because the last 3 days have been way way way productive in a certain area of learning to 'allow' since I am allowed.... and learning to be a safe place... cause they are a safe place, yo. Learning from the best. I love him.)
anyway...my last guide sent me through a door and took off....and I'm like wondering what to do...and Athena showed up--> who is currently being not as simple to understand...and my very good friend)
yeah so rambling on there.... not much else...that I can think of...
kinda tired...
gonna go!
will entertain your fancy shmancy anecdotes of uber privileged dragon riders of earth sometimes in the morrow when the sun and moon dance upon the glass of the island notions and the fireflies twirl admidst the evening glades of jungle ecstacy.
More of all of this.
All of this.
I want more.
______________________
the depth.
the fear
the part where you feel your getting your life wrung to death by Thanos.
and your suffocating
and you can't breathe
and the world is cast in the blackness of the dark
....
and the sun rises
and it heals... too slowly
the vibrations linger on and on and on
will it ever end
then it is all forgotten...
all but the fear
but it wasn't even fear...
it was everything...
fear, love, boundless joy, safety, terror
oh, the ALL of it at once.
pouring out pouring out pouring out
how can you live in the midst of twilight...
how can you live being pulled apart by the light and dark
by the sun and moon
the ocean and land
the darkness wrings tighter and the sun glows softly....
this battle...
will it ever end...
this battle.
this barzakh between worlds....
can you even stand at the threshold forever...
till you're torn apart
ripped into two...
fucking tear me open....
tear me open
MORE OF THIS
MORE OF ALL OF THIS
I WANT MORE!
_____________________________________________
perhaps the universe has forgotten who it had forged...
or does it remember....?
Could you forget your child...
_____________________________________________
shit is about to get real.... again
something big is coming
something BIG is coming....
are you ready?
for the wave...for the wave....
it's coming... and it's going to be huge.
I'm so freaking excited....cause I feel it...and when you feel it....
you know what it means....even if you can't understand it...
Yes... come.
Lately.... work orders.
I'm not sure what else I do.
Still in between scripts....
Book? ....ummmm yeah...
I'm thinking of starting on it tonight... for real this time!
Like really real. ... moreso than watching a movie.
Seriously...
Do you know how .... ........ um..... de-structive it is to stand
in the midst of the light and dark? It's beyond being focused...or distracted...
It's a motionlessness.
A sitting still.... where you can't move... at least not efficiantly.
and any step...usually means 3 steps back...
it's....just....not....ready....
my subconscious knows this even if my conscious wants to do the things...
and still tries to do the things...
....
so...that's where I'm at...
but I have a surfboard ready.... cause it's coming...
the wave, the wave!!
Get ready!! It will be amazing.
then the book will start...and the script at the same time, cause the
universe likes to fuck with me.
and money! and weird cool shit!
and trips! and new teachers and guides!
(cause right now I'm learning shit from my very good friend... which is awesome because the last 3 days have been way way way productive in a certain area of learning to 'allow' since I am allowed.... and learning to be a safe place... cause they are a safe place, yo. Learning from the best. I love him.)
anyway...my last guide sent me through a door and took off....and I'm like wondering what to do...and Athena showed up--> who is currently being not as simple to understand...and my very good friend)
yeah so rambling on there.... not much else...that I can think of...
kinda tired...
gonna go!
will entertain your fancy shmancy anecdotes of uber privileged dragon riders of earth sometimes in the morrow when the sun and moon dance upon the glass of the island notions and the fireflies twirl admidst the evening glades of jungle ecstacy.
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
join the club....
'Cause I want you bad...
yeah I want you, baby.
I've been thinkin' about it all day
and I hope you feel the same way
'cause I want you bad
yeah I want you, baby.
____________________________________
Why is it the Nissan Murano has better speakers than my 4runner?
How is this legit?
Not for long, yo.
What have I been up to?
Work orders.... meditating....
I let Alexandria do some videos.... O_O
and she stole my phone and took a million damn selfies with it.
argh!
idfk man....
here's her studio....
so what are you doing with your life?.....
I'm not doing much apparently...
I'm not currently working on a script....
waiting.... I have a few having it out with a brawl trying to get to
the front of the line.... Who will win??
Will it be another animation movie with dragons?
Will it be Killian? (yes, Killian O'Malley. That fucking leprechaun I made and sold on Etsy to someone in Ireland!) Yes...he's getting his own screenplay....*sigh fml.
I have others sitting on the bleachers watching them fight....
it looks like someone else might jump in.... who is that?
I think it's a drama.... what?...please no... don't get involved, I'm not ready for you, I don't think..?
shit.... Killian is winning at the moment...
Have you ever seen Fight Club?... it looks like that...
am I writing a book yet...?
fuck no... I'm seriously considering starting it today though...
writing is nighttime work...
but I get up early for work orders, cause it's too fucking hot to do them during the afternoon
and people don't know how to drive between 11:45 and 12:45...or anytime after 2:30
so I like to get done and home before 11:30
don't be jealous of my whole 2 to 4 hours of work.
___________________________________________________________
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
_____________________________________
ok seriously...
I'm either going to go watch a movie or start writing a book...
I'll let you know next time I come here to write, lol.
Have a wonderful evening my enchanted friends of dire dreams
and echoed enhancements of luscious hopes. Carry them to your grave or
dare to plant them in the fields of the heavens.
What are you resisting?????
Where are your souls...? fucking DO THE THING already!
hmmm.another scene popped in my head... for dragon movie.... NO, not like the other dragon animation movie... it's good all on it's own and so will mine be.
anyway it belongs to Studio Ghibli too... cause the art, yo.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
This one is pretty boring.... unless you like Loki
day 21 homework
last day! Finally!
that only took like 3 days...maybe 4...idk
too long really....I'm a fast worker/learner
let's get going! got other things to do!
oh, nevermind...no more homework! sweet!
it's like quitting school all over again!
huzzah!
Have I started on book 5 yet....
not yet...but I've been preparing to start on it by thinking a lot on it.
that totally counts, lol.
Next script is gelling....but I got a few new images popping
in to say 'hello' every now and then. Looks amazing!!
I have this list of crap I would like to get done tomorrow
It seems long, but not really...more like filling...
I will do 6 of the 10...because it's Sunday...
and one of them can't be done until Monday
it might be too hot to do one other
and one other needs time consuming work done....
hence the reason it is still lingering on my to-do list.
the other isn't until the 15th...and it's not really a thing to do...
it's a thing I'm waiting to know more about....
so...6 it will be.
-- work orders (oy vey, yes on a Sunday) but early, so everyone is still in bed or at church
--- watch a movie....not that I want to, but I want to send them back to netflix
-- video prep for Alexandria
--- a meeting with Alexandria at 8pm regarding her show
-- start book 5, I totally will do this, yo!
-- pay my Amazon card cause I keep ordering shit and I don't like
having a balance on it.
anyway....
it's 11 and I'm going to meditate and get up early for a whole maybe 2 hours of work.
then come home and determine whether it's too hot for outside work.
then get to crafting a set for a talk show....and watch a movie while I do it.
then maybe swimming, a business meeting, and book 5....
Will it actually go this smoothly.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
______________________________________________________________
I called council.
and I got reprimanded by Lyriel and Bowriel.
Mind you that Lyriel looks like Loki to me and I tell him this all the time...
he still doesn't find it amusing. But he helped clear some gunk I picked up.
Bowriel always seems disappointed in something or another with me, but
good gosh he is the most awesomest.
Mercuriel took me way way up to the horizon of heaven....
He showed me how inside of us all there is the sunrise... and the sunset.
That instead of a just black and white or day and night between the worlds...
that we are the barzak ...the inbetween. Where the light is leaving and where it approaches.
It was quite.... a completion of fullness.
So that was fun. I've missed hanging out with them.
The council always seem annoyed with me, like every freaking time.... but they are playing a ruse on me... I know they are interested every time I call council and rather amused at my acknowledgments towards them. They are honored and I am honored, so it's a win win scenario. I told them I was ready to level up.... hence why they sent me to the others to clear out some things that were sticking.
I find it fascinating that I keep expecting them to say no....but they just find a way to get me leveled up...even if I feel I don't need or want to. they're just like, hey, get ready....we are sending you on and you'll manage.... they freak me out a bit, but they are all pretty cool.
________________________________________________________________
probably other stuff here and there... blah blah blah....
I'll come back tomorrow or some other dya and write something more useful.
good day to you lovely turnpike pinion graphs of exterior motif jungles
I'll tie you up and cast you out to sea where the hippos and bamboo guzzlers drink their hearty wines and everlasting glowing juices of matrimony balderdash echo spirits. Drink up pretty lads of tartar sauce and gumbo toast. See you in the morrow morrow land of extraterrestrial anomalies and sliced decoy pie platters.
last day! Finally!
that only took like 3 days...maybe 4...idk
too long really....I'm a fast worker/learner
let's get going! got other things to do!
oh, nevermind...no more homework! sweet!
it's like quitting school all over again!
huzzah!
Have I started on book 5 yet....
not yet...but I've been preparing to start on it by thinking a lot on it.
that totally counts, lol.
Next script is gelling....but I got a few new images popping
in to say 'hello' every now and then. Looks amazing!!
I have this list of crap I would like to get done tomorrow
It seems long, but not really...more like filling...
I will do 6 of the 10...because it's Sunday...
and one of them can't be done until Monday
it might be too hot to do one other
and one other needs time consuming work done....
hence the reason it is still lingering on my to-do list.
the other isn't until the 15th...and it's not really a thing to do...
it's a thing I'm waiting to know more about....
so...6 it will be.
-- work orders (oy vey, yes on a Sunday) but early, so everyone is still in bed or at church
--- watch a movie....not that I want to, but I want to send them back to netflix
-- video prep for Alexandria
--- a meeting with Alexandria at 8pm regarding her show
-- start book 5, I totally will do this, yo!
-- pay my Amazon card cause I keep ordering shit and I don't like
having a balance on it.
anyway....
it's 11 and I'm going to meditate and get up early for a whole maybe 2 hours of work.
then come home and determine whether it's too hot for outside work.
then get to crafting a set for a talk show....and watch a movie while I do it.
then maybe swimming, a business meeting, and book 5....
Will it actually go this smoothly.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
______________________________________________________________
I called council.
and I got reprimanded by Lyriel and Bowriel.
Mind you that Lyriel looks like Loki to me and I tell him this all the time...
he still doesn't find it amusing. But he helped clear some gunk I picked up.
Bowriel always seems disappointed in something or another with me, but
good gosh he is the most awesomest.
Mercuriel took me way way up to the horizon of heaven....
He showed me how inside of us all there is the sunrise... and the sunset.
That instead of a just black and white or day and night between the worlds...
that we are the barzak ...the inbetween. Where the light is leaving and where it approaches.
It was quite.... a completion of fullness.
So that was fun. I've missed hanging out with them.
The council always seem annoyed with me, like every freaking time.... but they are playing a ruse on me... I know they are interested every time I call council and rather amused at my acknowledgments towards them. They are honored and I am honored, so it's a win win scenario. I told them I was ready to level up.... hence why they sent me to the others to clear out some things that were sticking.
I find it fascinating that I keep expecting them to say no....but they just find a way to get me leveled up...even if I feel I don't need or want to. they're just like, hey, get ready....we are sending you on and you'll manage.... they freak me out a bit, but they are all pretty cool.
________________________________________________________________
probably other stuff here and there... blah blah blah....
I'll come back tomorrow or some other dya and write something more useful.
good day to you lovely turnpike pinion graphs of exterior motif jungles
I'll tie you up and cast you out to sea where the hippos and bamboo guzzlers drink their hearty wines and everlasting glowing juices of matrimony balderdash echo spirits. Drink up pretty lads of tartar sauce and gumbo toast. See you in the morrow morrow land of extraterrestrial anomalies and sliced decoy pie platters.
day 18 and 19 and 20 homework
day 18 homework
collaboration.
this would work wonders if I had other people awesome like me...
fuck.
Write down all the names you though are the competition.
..umm.
I'm not in competition with anyone else...?
I have my own stuff....they have theirs...
let them do them...let me do me....
screenwriting competitions are for gaining readers and eyes...
but the story speaks for itself... I only wrote it, I didn't come up with it...
so whatever... nothing personal. idc about other writers.
Of course I'd love the prize money, yo.
Alexandria and her competition.... who cares...
she's gonna do herself no matter what...soooo...
there used to be a skit called the Sock Puppet Theater, but it's ended.
April Wenchell or however you spell her name did it. It was cool.
Alexandria was born on a whim... and that's exactly how she is...
whim-sical...
this reminds me of sewing...when I used to sew... I watched other
people make their stuff and eventually stopped altogether....
who the fuck cares what they are doing...
focus on your own shit.
Yeah, some are awesome, but who cares...? I don't get it.
Like photographers too.... I have 2 favorites.
But I don't want to do pictures like them.... I love their stuff...
but I want my own stuff to be my own...soooo...go them!
as for collaboration...
I'm unaware of anyone who would be willing to involve theirselves in my escapades.
and I'm rather comfortable doing it alone anyway, sooo....
of course I do love competition in some cases...
like do I know I can win high rankings??
like in a photography contest? sewing contest? costume contest?
am I going up against people who think they can, or people who know they can?
mindset is everything.
So why didn't I enter the Nichol screenwriting competition, you ask?
Because it's the best one out there....and my first script isn't going to make the cut.
The fifth one maybe....but not the first, no matter how much I love it.
But it might have a chance with the ones I did enter. Legit, yo. I know my skills...
and even if they are better than the dross floating around certain screenwriting groups.... I know there are other writers who've been doing this longer and perhaps have a better grip on industry standards than I. And that's okay. I'm still learning, yo. You'll see me among the best eventually....and I'm not talking about writers who make shows and movies already out there... they just have the producers and studios stuck in fear about sales.... I mean...look at Sharknado. I'm so proud those motherfuckers sold the script and then sold even more of them....but really now.... is it a 'good' story...NO, is it all the great acting...NO...is it the awesome cgi sharks?! hell yeah...NO.....it's just basic studio...'let's make a quick buck over here with the shark pool and wait until a real movie comes along'... I suppose that's legit.
________________________________________________________________
day 19 homework
Things you are avoiding..
like things you are holding on to.
Things you need to forgive
things you just have got to do.
I just realized my garden is in dire need of attention...
Like I know this.... but I didn't think of the feng-shui connections...
shit
Weather!!! get not fucking hot so I can go outside without suffocating!
I don't have anyone to forgive...
Most things I do... so I'm either forgetting something or whatever....
I need to start my book...
Once I start, I'm good....just starting...argh
things holding on to....well if someone would buy this shit...
I need to finish my tree book too....
___________________________________________________
day 20 homework
just let things happen....
I do this all the time...? what?
Let yourself do whatever you feel like doing...
I do....everyday.... <3
soooo..... I guess I mastered this homework....
1 day left! yay!
collaboration.
this would work wonders if I had other people awesome like me...
fuck.
Write down all the names you though are the competition.
..umm.
I'm not in competition with anyone else...?
I have my own stuff....they have theirs...
let them do them...let me do me....
screenwriting competitions are for gaining readers and eyes...
but the story speaks for itself... I only wrote it, I didn't come up with it...
so whatever... nothing personal. idc about other writers.
Of course I'd love the prize money, yo.
Alexandria and her competition.... who cares...
she's gonna do herself no matter what...soooo...
there used to be a skit called the Sock Puppet Theater, but it's ended.
April Wenchell or however you spell her name did it. It was cool.
Alexandria was born on a whim... and that's exactly how she is...
whim-sical...
this reminds me of sewing...when I used to sew... I watched other
people make their stuff and eventually stopped altogether....
who the fuck cares what they are doing...
focus on your own shit.
Yeah, some are awesome, but who cares...? I don't get it.
Like photographers too.... I have 2 favorites.
But I don't want to do pictures like them.... I love their stuff...
but I want my own stuff to be my own...soooo...go them!
as for collaboration...
I'm unaware of anyone who would be willing to involve theirselves in my escapades.
and I'm rather comfortable doing it alone anyway, sooo....
of course I do love competition in some cases...
like do I know I can win high rankings??
like in a photography contest? sewing contest? costume contest?
am I going up against people who think they can, or people who know they can?
mindset is everything.
So why didn't I enter the Nichol screenwriting competition, you ask?
Because it's the best one out there....and my first script isn't going to make the cut.
The fifth one maybe....but not the first, no matter how much I love it.
But it might have a chance with the ones I did enter. Legit, yo. I know my skills...
and even if they are better than the dross floating around certain screenwriting groups.... I know there are other writers who've been doing this longer and perhaps have a better grip on industry standards than I. And that's okay. I'm still learning, yo. You'll see me among the best eventually....and I'm not talking about writers who make shows and movies already out there... they just have the producers and studios stuck in fear about sales.... I mean...look at Sharknado. I'm so proud those motherfuckers sold the script and then sold even more of them....but really now.... is it a 'good' story...NO, is it all the great acting...NO...is it the awesome cgi sharks?! hell yeah...NO.....it's just basic studio...'let's make a quick buck over here with the shark pool and wait until a real movie comes along'... I suppose that's legit.
________________________________________________________________
day 19 homework
Things you are avoiding..
like things you are holding on to.
Things you need to forgive
things you just have got to do.
I just realized my garden is in dire need of attention...
Like I know this.... but I didn't think of the feng-shui connections...
shit
Weather!!! get not fucking hot so I can go outside without suffocating!
I don't have anyone to forgive...
Most things I do... so I'm either forgetting something or whatever....
I need to start my book...
Once I start, I'm good....just starting...argh
things holding on to....well if someone would buy this shit...
I need to finish my tree book too....
___________________________________________________
day 20 homework
just let things happen....
I do this all the time...? what?
Let yourself do whatever you feel like doing...
I do....everyday.... <3
soooo..... I guess I mastered this homework....
1 day left! yay!
day 16 and 17 homework
lol..... someone found these posts...
that one person, I'm sure you know who you are.
I didn't post them on fb, so you actually do know
how to look on the side -----> and see the homework posts!
Lol. I'm proud of you that you actually read them....or at least opened them.
<3
day 16 homework...
How do you add more value to what you offer?
To add more value to the world?
Alexandria will give them either exuberant joy and laughs...
or an ulcer.
She'll share how awful movies are and how much better they should be.
She'll give away prizes. Like rocks. and drawings done in MS Paint.
Maybe she'll sell them too.
Maybe she'll share what she thinks about a lot of things...
Maybe she'll read short stories to you.
or short screenplay readings.
or sing you a little ditty. A bad one...with a lap harp or ukelele.
or try to play an ocarina....?
a tambourine? I have a lot of instruments....
she can teach kids about how to mess up and be okay with it.
or how to be a rebel and draw those zebras with wings...and fire breath.
She can invite other people on her show and talk about the color orange...
She can sell stuff... stupid ridiculous awesome stuff!! Like origami, or feathers.
or magic rocks....or something she found on the ground that day.
or stories. or books.... and maybe a screenplay. ;)
there's lots of value in this.... what in the world.....am...I....thinking! Lol
___________________________________________
day 17 homework was to be spontaneous...
Alexandris IS spontaneous.... no script for her....she'd kill me...
I'm not joking.
she's funnier that way anyway.... ask Skylar, she has one of her first video's...
I'l see if she still has it and can send it to me...
I'll post it on another post though... that's a noun and a verb...post...lol.
that one person, I'm sure you know who you are.
I didn't post them on fb, so you actually do know
how to look on the side -----> and see the homework posts!
Lol. I'm proud of you that you actually read them....or at least opened them.
<3
day 16 homework...
How do you add more value to what you offer?
To add more value to the world?
Alexandria will give them either exuberant joy and laughs...
or an ulcer.
She'll share how awful movies are and how much better they should be.
She'll give away prizes. Like rocks. and drawings done in MS Paint.
Maybe she'll sell them too.
Maybe she'll share what she thinks about a lot of things...
Maybe she'll read short stories to you.
or short screenplay readings.
or sing you a little ditty. A bad one...with a lap harp or ukelele.
or try to play an ocarina....?
a tambourine? I have a lot of instruments....
she can teach kids about how to mess up and be okay with it.
or how to be a rebel and draw those zebras with wings...and fire breath.
She can invite other people on her show and talk about the color orange...
She can sell stuff... stupid ridiculous awesome stuff!! Like origami, or feathers.
or magic rocks....or something she found on the ground that day.
or stories. or books.... and maybe a screenplay. ;)
there's lots of value in this.... what in the world.....am...I....thinking! Lol
___________________________________________
day 17 homework was to be spontaneous...
Alexandris IS spontaneous.... no script for her....she'd kill me...
I'm not joking.
she's funnier that way anyway.... ask Skylar, she has one of her first video's...
I'l see if she still has it and can send it to me...
I'll post it on another post though... that's a noun and a verb...post...lol.
day 14 and 15 homework
day 14 homework
Living on the edge....because
It's harder to be mediocre than it is to be AMAZING!
Today is to figure out a challenge that's beyond your perceived limits.
that's going to throw you up to the next level.
Something scary, but exciting as fuck!
today.... you're going to jump.
holy fuck....
this sounds exciting only because I'm a fucking jumper...
and it scares me what I'm capable of.
fuck yes! let's do this!
I'm gonna list shit...then choose...
Pay 'off' a debt in full - because I am done with paying 'on' stuff.
Get the set up done for the videos.
Start book 5! like now, yo!
Make the weather cooler so I can go do something outside
(yes, I totally fucking can do that ^^^ )
shit, why is only one of those scary and exciting...
need more choices...
Do a video on the other thing. (weather....permitting...ugh)
why can't I think of more things!!!
I'll come back to this tomorrow.... I'm bored.
_____________________________________________________
it's tomorrow. hey, time travel, yo!
I guess supposed to be stuff related to our business...
that I don't have or want! got it.
let's try again...
ummm.....
--- write another script! It's gelling, yo!
--- find contact info for studios.... well you see... I've tried this and either they don't have them listed or they are not keen on accepting screenplays from random people in the world. I kinda agree....there are a lot of bad writers out there.... I get that. I so get that...so...this leaves me....back to the sock puppet or screenplay competitions....which I am doing.
--- paint rocks or tokens. - ok. - let's go get rocks or tokens....
--- set up the area for Alexandria's show.... totally!
--- what am I doing with my life...?
_____________________________________________________
day 15 homework....
schedule a meeting with your team (cough cough! my self you mean...)
schedule meetings.... to keep everyone aligned with the outcome wanted (a.k.a. goal)
ok.... Alexandria.... our scheduled meeting is Sunday evenings at 8pm.
got to stay focused on what the goal is... which is to get enough followers to want to read my scripts.
or your own talk show, obviously.
Living on the edge....because
It's harder to be mediocre than it is to be AMAZING!
Today is to figure out a challenge that's beyond your perceived limits.
that's going to throw you up to the next level.
Something scary, but exciting as fuck!
today.... you're going to jump.
holy fuck....
this sounds exciting only because I'm a fucking jumper...
and it scares me what I'm capable of.
fuck yes! let's do this!
I'm gonna list shit...then choose...
Pay 'off' a debt in full - because I am done with paying 'on' stuff.
Get the set up done for the videos.
Start book 5! like now, yo!
Make the weather cooler so I can go do something outside
(yes, I totally fucking can do that ^^^ )
shit, why is only one of those scary and exciting...
need more choices...
Do a video on the other thing. (weather....permitting...ugh)
why can't I think of more things!!!
I'll come back to this tomorrow.... I'm bored.
_____________________________________________________
it's tomorrow. hey, time travel, yo!
I guess supposed to be stuff related to our business...
that I don't have or want! got it.
let's try again...
ummm.....
--- write another script! It's gelling, yo!
--- find contact info for studios.... well you see... I've tried this and either they don't have them listed or they are not keen on accepting screenplays from random people in the world. I kinda agree....there are a lot of bad writers out there.... I get that. I so get that...so...this leaves me....back to the sock puppet or screenplay competitions....which I am doing.
--- paint rocks or tokens. - ok. - let's go get rocks or tokens....
--- set up the area for Alexandria's show.... totally!
--- what am I doing with my life...?
_____________________________________________________
day 15 homework....
schedule a meeting with your team (cough cough! my self you mean...)
schedule meetings.... to keep everyone aligned with the outcome wanted (a.k.a. goal)
ok.... Alexandria.... our scheduled meeting is Sunday evenings at 8pm.
got to stay focused on what the goal is... which is to get enough followers to want to read my scripts.
or your own talk show, obviously.
Friday, July 6, 2018
day 13 homework
day 13 homework:
What labels do you identify with?
Where are you limiting yourself or limiting what you can receive?
Is it true?
So the things I say about myself...
--- that I can't connect with people...
I can connect with people actually. Very well truthfully.
Too much to be specific.... and that, scares them.
They divert and distract and throw out decoys. I know what they do.
they swerve and do all they can to hide. I know your games dear ones.
They fall into their societal constructs and become clones... I see all of this.
I try to make you comfortable, but I know you feel me looking at you.
there is no hiding around me... and I know this terrifies you.
sorry, not sorry.
--- that I am never understood...
perhaps I am... but they don't want to believe in my bullshit.
It;s too big for them maybe? too vast... this ocean.
do they fear drowning? the feeling of drowning?
It shakes their safe little cocoons. It terrifies them that their
worlds may be at risk and the light may get in... oh no oh no.
too bright. too bright, pull down the shades.
maybe? maybe I cause them to flee and they refuse to hear,
not that can't understand, but because they refuse to.
I'm okay with that.
sorry, not sorry.
--- that I have debts to pay
this is no longer true. I don't have debts. I owe no one.
I've erased this from my subconscious. So ..... they'll be gone shortly.
--- that I don't know what to do.
actually I do. I know exactly what to do. All I have to do is ask myself, yo.
--- that manifesting $25000 is going to take longer than a few weeks.
actually...fuck that. I can do it in an instant.
--- that I need someone's help before so-and-so whatever can get done.
No. just no. I'm just waiting on myself.
this was fun.
I'm fucking INFINITE!
Super Saiyan Jedi Master!
Fuck yes!
I get to have all the things!
ALL THE THINGS!
ANYTIME I CHOOSE!
FOREVER!
What labels do you identify with?
Where are you limiting yourself or limiting what you can receive?
Is it true?
So the things I say about myself...
--- that I can't connect with people...
I can connect with people actually. Very well truthfully.
Too much to be specific.... and that, scares them.
They divert and distract and throw out decoys. I know what they do.
they swerve and do all they can to hide. I know your games dear ones.
They fall into their societal constructs and become clones... I see all of this.
I try to make you comfortable, but I know you feel me looking at you.
there is no hiding around me... and I know this terrifies you.
sorry, not sorry.
--- that I am never understood...
perhaps I am... but they don't want to believe in my bullshit.
It;s too big for them maybe? too vast... this ocean.
do they fear drowning? the feeling of drowning?
It shakes their safe little cocoons. It terrifies them that their
worlds may be at risk and the light may get in... oh no oh no.
too bright. too bright, pull down the shades.
maybe? maybe I cause them to flee and they refuse to hear,
not that can't understand, but because they refuse to.
I'm okay with that.
sorry, not sorry.
--- that I have debts to pay
this is no longer true. I don't have debts. I owe no one.
I've erased this from my subconscious. So ..... they'll be gone shortly.
--- that I don't know what to do.
actually I do. I know exactly what to do. All I have to do is ask myself, yo.
--- that manifesting $25000 is going to take longer than a few weeks.
actually...fuck that. I can do it in an instant.
--- that I need someone's help before so-and-so whatever can get done.
No. just no. I'm just waiting on myself.
this was fun.
I'm fucking INFINITE!
Super Saiyan Jedi Master!
Fuck yes!
I get to have all the things!
ALL THE THINGS!
ANYTIME I CHOOSE!
FOREVER!
day 12 homework
day 12 homework is to kylego for 15 minutes
in case you don't know...
'kylego' is to talk about the future as if it has already happened.
so I'll time this... I'm decent at it, but I don't have a kylego partner...
because I don't have a high vibe person anywhere in my life.
but that's okay. I'll roll on my own, like I've always done.
(btw) the last tie I wrote down a kylego it was for my 4runner...
so yeah. ;) )
ready set go.... time 15 minutes.
I did it, I did the stupid sock puppet videos!
I was on a roll and did like 5 of them!
They were so funny!
by the time I finished the 3rd one, I couldn't stop laughing.... they all got better and better and funnier and funnier!!
I did a crash course in video editing and got them posted on my new youtube channel
I got tons of likes and followers now!!! What!
What am I supposed to do with this?!!
I've made some little props and sketches to do more videos and I'm doing the giveaways now too. this is so hilarious! Who know the Alexandria would be as great as an actress as she claims to be, omg! Lol. She's even going to give opinions on movies and start up an opinion blog. there's no stopping this sock!
Besides this little piece of wonder..... and the hits the videos are getting, I found out that my script has made it into the quarter finals of the script competition! Wow! Then on to the finals! Whoot Whoot!
Give me some exposure yo! Then the sock can give up her opinion on it for sure!
I'm pretty sure the studios will find their way to her videos. How could they not? She's a great actress and when she shares movies and screenplays, I'm sure they'll be interested in offering her her own series, like a talk show. Because, why wouldn't they? She's amazing.
She'll share my scripts with producers and then we'll both be stars. Um yeah!
I actually finished that tree book too! Finally! And I started book 5. And I went back to edit my others. and I wrote another script. and another. And I manifested some serious cash funds to pay off credit companies. Because I'm worth hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions! I have so much content that I'm getting out there and sharing! People just throw money at me like I'm a casino.
Speaking of casino! I scored a jackpot back in July! So they aren't rigged afterall! Huzzah!
I got that new stereo system for my 4runner and spent some relaxing time at the beach. I met some amazing high vibe people that are awesome as fuck too!
These past few months have been out of this world and more exciting things are on the horizon! so follow your heart and leap into your loves!
Did I mention that I also met Hayao Miyasaki and he is currently reading my screenplays!! EEEEEK!!! Studio Ghibli and I are gonna work some fucking magic all over this world! Hell yeah!
How can we not?! I work with the universe and the universe works in me.
I am one with the force and the force is with me.
Adventures galore and more to come!
in case you don't know...
'kylego' is to talk about the future as if it has already happened.
so I'll time this... I'm decent at it, but I don't have a kylego partner...
because I don't have a high vibe person anywhere in my life.
but that's okay. I'll roll on my own, like I've always done.
(btw) the last tie I wrote down a kylego it was for my 4runner...
so yeah. ;) )
ready set go.... time 15 minutes.
I did it, I did the stupid sock puppet videos!
I was on a roll and did like 5 of them!
They were so funny!
by the time I finished the 3rd one, I couldn't stop laughing.... they all got better and better and funnier and funnier!!
I did a crash course in video editing and got them posted on my new youtube channel
I got tons of likes and followers now!!! What!
What am I supposed to do with this?!!
I've made some little props and sketches to do more videos and I'm doing the giveaways now too. this is so hilarious! Who know the Alexandria would be as great as an actress as she claims to be, omg! Lol. She's even going to give opinions on movies and start up an opinion blog. there's no stopping this sock!
Besides this little piece of wonder..... and the hits the videos are getting, I found out that my script has made it into the quarter finals of the script competition! Wow! Then on to the finals! Whoot Whoot!
Give me some exposure yo! Then the sock can give up her opinion on it for sure!
I'm pretty sure the studios will find their way to her videos. How could they not? She's a great actress and when she shares movies and screenplays, I'm sure they'll be interested in offering her her own series, like a talk show. Because, why wouldn't they? She's amazing.
She'll share my scripts with producers and then we'll both be stars. Um yeah!
I actually finished that tree book too! Finally! And I started book 5. And I went back to edit my others. and I wrote another script. and another. And I manifested some serious cash funds to pay off credit companies. Because I'm worth hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions! I have so much content that I'm getting out there and sharing! People just throw money at me like I'm a casino.
Speaking of casino! I scored a jackpot back in July! So they aren't rigged afterall! Huzzah!
I got that new stereo system for my 4runner and spent some relaxing time at the beach. I met some amazing high vibe people that are awesome as fuck too!
These past few months have been out of this world and more exciting things are on the horizon! so follow your heart and leap into your loves!
Did I mention that I also met Hayao Miyasaki and he is currently reading my screenplays!! EEEEEK!!! Studio Ghibli and I are gonna work some fucking magic all over this world! Hell yeah!
How can we not?! I work with the universe and the universe works in me.
I am one with the force and the force is with me.
Adventures galore and more to come!
day 9 and 10 and 11 homework
day 9 and 10 and 11 homework.
Day 9 was to meditate for 20 minutes.
Well, I do this often on my own anyway.
Probably did an hour this morning...sooo
_____________________________________________________
Day 10 is to list things you want to do, but don't know how.
so here it goes...
I don't know how to get my screenplays out there to be read by the people who matter.
I don't know what the next step to take is on the matter either.
I don't know how to connect with people in this household...because tv or games, or whateverthefuck is more relevant to their lives right now.
I don't know how to connect with anyone.
I don't know how to write a play.
I don't know how to edit videos.
I don't know how to get a youtube channel or post videos.
I don't know how to get a publisher
I don't know how to get an agent
I don't know how to get a manager
I don't know how to deal with all this bullshit that I love and hate at the same time.
I don't know how to recognize when I'm being too much.
I don't know how to recognize when I'm being too little.
or too quiet, or too loud.
I don't know anything about myself.
I don't know how to do anything...I just pretend to.
fake it till you make it and fake it some more...
I quit.
I don't know how to tell what my soul wants versus what my mind wants.
I don't know how to be okay with all that....even if I am okay with all that.
I love all of this.
I don't know how to be kind. or caring. or honest with you.
I don't know how to be what the world seems to be. or want. or like.
I don't know how.
and I LOVE that.
__________________________________________
Day 11 homework is:
Write down things you're great at or know about.
and then get more specific.
I know about screenwriting
but more specifically stories. Like the energy within them. The emotions. The twists and the depth of characters and their growth.
I know how to visualize images on a screen and how to see the portrayal of those emotions and depth.
I know how to feel the movement of events of a story and see where the waves have fallen flat.
I know how to see when a character doesn't stay true to self or when they are not speaking form their own voice.
I know when characters in movies are cliche....when stories are cliche. When the imagination of the writers/producers/actors leave the movie as good-enough.... but it's not.
I know about art and structure. But I also know not to follow it.
I know when society is being held back.
I know about energy. How it moves, why it stalls. when it's blocked and sometimes why.
I know about otherworld stuff. But it's all on my perspective.
I know about how to create things from nothing. Like crafts.... but badass.
I know how to make things look real, even if they're not.
I know how to feel the energy of a room and feng-shui stuff.
I know how to feel the energy of a person and chakra stuff.
I know about freedom. and allowing. and acceptance. and love
I know about trust. and truth.
I know things about science and metaphysical things.
I know about god and Jesus. and Buddha. and Krishna. and the Universe.
I know about mythology and astrology and astrotheology and theology and astronomy.
I know about sewing. and writing. and creating. and alchemy on a spiritual level.
I know about the darkness. and Lucifer. and angels. and merkabas .
I know about ancient Egypt. and Tiamat. and dragons.
I know about swords and roller derby. and birds and animals in general.
I know about painting and colors....even if I don't follow their rules on how to use them.
I'm great at sewing. I'm great at writing.
I'm great at feeling. oh...feeling too much.
I'm great at being invisible. I'm great at hiding and disappearing.
I'm great at getting what I want and manifesting.
I'm great at hustling when I need to.
I'm great at saying 'fuck it' when I need to.
I'm great at not listening to myself and not listening to others.
I'm great at finding ways to not do it the 'correct' way.
I'm great at rebellion. and getting by unnoticed.
I'm great at pissing people off or making them happy.
I'm great at not showing emotion.
I'm great at being there...but also not 'being' there.
I'm great at multi-tasking.
I'm great at researching.
I'm great at finding answers or guidance when I need it.
I'm great at getting out of a jam...or getting into one.
I'm also great at switching my ideals on a dime.
and I'm great at purging everything I am in the blink of an eye.
Fuck yeah! I'm a badass super saiyan jedi!
to be specific....
I'm not here to do anything for anyone.
I'll do as I please for my self.
I'll be as I please for my self.
I am my self.
I am who I am.
and I am enough.
Thursday, July 5, 2018
day 8 homework
You are what you love. Not what loves you.
day 8 homework.
today we identify what makes us nervous.
What are some things coming up that make you nervous?
I don't know how soon these things are coming but we'll go with it.
I have an inspection tomorrow, one of the bigger ones.
with people. Those make me nervous.
am I doing it correctly?
do I look like I don't know what I'm doing? haha!
does this shirt make me look like a hoodlum?
I love that I'm nervous about it. and I'm even nervous that I am
not what most people consider professional.
Even though I'm good at it.
I love that I'm self-conscious. Maybe if I love it enough I won't think about it
The quarter-finalists for the Page screenwriting awards
will be announced on the 15th. I entered that one.
I'm nervous. Because what if I made it...
what if I didn't? Is it excitement or nervousness?
I love that. I love new things. I love how my body responds to new things.
I love that I love both outcomes. How exciting!
I have to 'people' Saturday too. this always makes me nervous.
how long do I have to people? do I have to sound interested?
no, I don't have questions... please shut up.
how do I act?
the fuck man...
I love that I feel dread and nervousness in new experiences.
I love that my brain tries to act normal for me.
It must really care about me, considering it does an awful job itself.
I'm going to dismantle parts of my garden.
why does this make me nervous...
because the neighbors might approach me...and ask questions.
please go away, I don't want to people....ever.
I love my garden (noun). But I don't love gardening (verb)
What if I get a hit on a screenplay.
Will I be nervous.
fuck yes
and I'm going to love it all the same.
hmmm....
I'm gonna do those videos...all of them
the walking one.
am I nervous... yes. I'll post them to youtube.
but I will not share on here or fb.
you'll just need to get lucky
or get down with some cold hard research.
or find out what my youtube channel is...
I need to find out too, yo!
and the sock puppets....why the hell not...
what if my sock puppet gets famous!?
I bet she could sell a script faster if she's funny.
Does it make me nervous... sure.
I'll have to learn to video edit.
and have 2 youtube channels.
i can truly say I love all of this. this whole mess of a plan.
What a beautiful disaster.
I am so doing this. All the things!
sharing my tree book...that isn't quite done yet, but will be
nervous about it....yeah.
It's only for people who understand...whoeverthefuck they are.
do they exist?
I love that I find myself hiding when I share things from the otherworld.
don't tell them I told you.... :)
going back to reedit all my books.
nervous... because its a lot of work.
and I still am not very good at complying.
but maybe. I'm thinking on it.
I love it.
day 8 homework.
today we identify what makes us nervous.
What are some things coming up that make you nervous?
I don't know how soon these things are coming but we'll go with it.
I have an inspection tomorrow, one of the bigger ones.
with people. Those make me nervous.
am I doing it correctly?
do I look like I don't know what I'm doing? haha!
does this shirt make me look like a hoodlum?
I love that I'm nervous about it. and I'm even nervous that I am
not what most people consider professional.
Even though I'm good at it.
I love that I'm self-conscious. Maybe if I love it enough I won't think about it
The quarter-finalists for the Page screenwriting awards
will be announced on the 15th. I entered that one.
I'm nervous. Because what if I made it...
what if I didn't? Is it excitement or nervousness?
I love that. I love new things. I love how my body responds to new things.
I love that I love both outcomes. How exciting!
I have to 'people' Saturday too. this always makes me nervous.
how long do I have to people? do I have to sound interested?
no, I don't have questions... please shut up.
how do I act?
the fuck man...
I love that I feel dread and nervousness in new experiences.
I love that my brain tries to act normal for me.
It must really care about me, considering it does an awful job itself.
I'm going to dismantle parts of my garden.
why does this make me nervous...
because the neighbors might approach me...and ask questions.
please go away, I don't want to people....ever.
I love my garden (noun). But I don't love gardening (verb)
What if I get a hit on a screenplay.
Will I be nervous.
fuck yes
and I'm going to love it all the same.
hmmm....
I'm gonna do those videos...all of them
the walking one.
am I nervous... yes. I'll post them to youtube.
but I will not share on here or fb.
you'll just need to get lucky
or get down with some cold hard research.
or find out what my youtube channel is...
I need to find out too, yo!
and the sock puppets....why the hell not...
what if my sock puppet gets famous!?
I bet she could sell a script faster if she's funny.
Does it make me nervous... sure.
I'll have to learn to video edit.
and have 2 youtube channels.
i can truly say I love all of this. this whole mess of a plan.
What a beautiful disaster.
I am so doing this. All the things!
sharing my tree book...that isn't quite done yet, but will be
nervous about it....yeah.
It's only for people who understand...whoeverthefuck they are.
do they exist?
I love that I find myself hiding when I share things from the otherworld.
don't tell them I told you.... :)
going back to reedit all my books.
nervous... because its a lot of work.
and I still am not very good at complying.
but maybe. I'm thinking on it.
I love it.
day 7 homework
here we are again....
can you tell I do the homework and then watch the next day, lol
not my fault they are short videos!
day 7 homework...
List the ways to get your voice/product/service out there.
about 30 minutes worth...fucking time trials...ugh.
Hmmm... I don't have a product...
unless you count screenplays!
Let's see... we'll start with that...
I could blog about movies and screenplays.
I could write short stories on a blog.
I could make memes about screenwriting or memes
about story ideas/plots/etc.
I could have my own screenwriting facebook page.
I could do script analysis or editing.
I could write other people's scripts.
I could do video shorts on screenwriting...
I could do those stupid sock puppet videos on movies...!!
I could make fun of movies with that stupid sock puppet!!
She is an actress after all! Holy fuck! That sounds amazing!
O_O
well this homework was fucking helpful!
what else...
my product...
I could sell those little rocks or wood disks I've been thinking about.
I could post them on etsy
I could post them on facebook marketplace
I could post them on ebay
I could leave them in random places around town
I could share them with my fb groups.
I could give them away and infuse them with magic to help people
no, not a spell... but similar, lol.
I could write things on them.
I could have them in my sock puppet videos... with a witch puppet!!!
The witch puppet could sell them!!
OMG! Why?! Why the fuck the sock puppets! omg LOL!
Why does this sounds so fun and appealing, lol. FUCK!
....
well shit! Let's keep going!
service...
I don't have a service to offer at this time...
but maybe my sock puppet can do script readings for you!!!
LOL! omg!
She can edit them too....
I evidently have a business now O_O
I better get to work.
can you tell I do the homework and then watch the next day, lol
not my fault they are short videos!
day 7 homework...
List the ways to get your voice/product/service out there.
about 30 minutes worth...fucking time trials...ugh.
Hmmm... I don't have a product...
unless you count screenplays!
Let's see... we'll start with that...
I could blog about movies and screenplays.
I could write short stories on a blog.
I could make memes about screenwriting or memes
about story ideas/plots/etc.
I could have my own screenwriting facebook page.
I could do script analysis or editing.
I could write other people's scripts.
I could do video shorts on screenwriting...
I could do those stupid sock puppet videos on movies...!!
I could make fun of movies with that stupid sock puppet!!
She is an actress after all! Holy fuck! That sounds amazing!
O_O
well this homework was fucking helpful!
what else...
my product...
I could sell those little rocks or wood disks I've been thinking about.
I could post them on etsy
I could post them on facebook marketplace
I could post them on ebay
I could leave them in random places around town
I could share them with my fb groups.
I could give them away and infuse them with magic to help people
no, not a spell... but similar, lol.
I could write things on them.
I could have them in my sock puppet videos... with a witch puppet!!!
The witch puppet could sell them!!
OMG! Why?! Why the fuck the sock puppets! omg LOL!
Why does this sounds so fun and appealing, lol. FUCK!
....
well shit! Let's keep going!
service...
I don't have a service to offer at this time...
but maybe my sock puppet can do script readings for you!!!
LOL! omg!
She can edit them too....
I evidently have a business now O_O
I better get to work.
day 6 homework
Not posting this one either.... and this one goes pretty deep.
I'm guessing if you found some sort of entertainment from the last
5 days worth of homework, you'll continue to click on the list to the
right and keep going day by day.
Good luck with that.
day 6 homework
this one is a challenge...
I thinks...
The question is....
What's real about you?
of course we are supposed to make a video...
see...I did a 30 day challenge of a daily video...
and even though it did get better and I got better at it
throughout the month...
I enjoyed it more when I was done with it.
this also is in direct comparison....and almost a nudge to take the leap
on something else....
I had this 'great idea' to do videos
** I put quotations on 'great idea' because even though it ran through my head
it certainly doesn't mean I like it! **
(and not videos of the stupid sock puppet...even though it would be hilarious
if I could actually get the words to flow while the camera is rolling...)
but of taking a walk and talking.
about whatever the fuck I wanted to.
the real me... without the filters that I've grown so used to.
Without the self-limiting self-conscious bullshit I always throw
out to the world...
not on paper.... no, not when I write...
but you know how us empaths are...
you know how us introverts are....
anything to get you away from us.
anything to get you to go away.
anything to get your eyes to avert from ours.
please don't see me....
I feel you too deeply... I can't take it all in.
...unless you wait for me
please wait...
so we hide.... under layers and layers of ruses and masks...
who knows us here on the outside?
Anyway...
What's real about you?
---- I'm obviously not easily known, nor easily understood. But I shall try.
I am one to throw themselves off the cliff and one to trust the invisible magic to catch me.
I am one to do it again and again
I am one who feels too much too often.
I see the pain of others, even if they hide it well. And I'm also the same one who will not save them.
I hear what you are saying, even if you cover it with more words to confuse others. And I'm also the one who will let you.
I am the one who finds it hard to stand with others, even if I support your idea. And I'm also the one who will abandon all ideas in the end.
I am the one who feels the how unworthy people caught up in religion feel. And I'm also the one who will let them remain in their darkness. I can't befriend you. I can't take your pain from you.
I am the one who knows what an alchemist truly is. I know why these energies pour out into me. I know and I transmute them when I can. When they don't swallow me for a time.
I am one without attachments. Without expectations, even if at times they are nice to dream about.
I'm also the same one who will pretend to be attached... and break expectations....on purpose.
I'm also the same person who agreed to come here.
And the same one who will agree to leave.
I prefer not to speak....yet want to be heard. I prefer not to be seen....yet want to be understood.
I prefer not to share....yet want you to take all these things away. I prefer not to explain....yet a part of me still tries.... I should slay her....with love.
I prefer to live among the trees....yet I don't. I prefer to do things that call to me....yet some fall to the wayside...and I cry for them. *no, not actually cry, dumbass. I only cry over sad stories.
I go through times where I get lots of stuff done...and other times I get nothing done at all. Times I buy shit I don't need and times I dont..... and I usually have the same amount of money either way.....soooo I just do whateverthefuck I want now.
I say yes to myself more and more. I trust myself more and more. I love myself more and more.
I love others more and more. I love everything I receive more and more.
All the things.
I am real.... but you must wait for me to give myself to you.
You'll never see me otherwise.
sorry, not sorry.
I'm guessing if you found some sort of entertainment from the last
5 days worth of homework, you'll continue to click on the list to the
right and keep going day by day.
Good luck with that.
day 6 homework
this one is a challenge...
I thinks...
The question is....
What's real about you?
of course we are supposed to make a video...
see...I did a 30 day challenge of a daily video...
and even though it did get better and I got better at it
throughout the month...
I enjoyed it more when I was done with it.
this also is in direct comparison....and almost a nudge to take the leap
on something else....
I had this 'great idea' to do videos
** I put quotations on 'great idea' because even though it ran through my head
it certainly doesn't mean I like it! **
(and not videos of the stupid sock puppet...even though it would be hilarious
if I could actually get the words to flow while the camera is rolling...)
but of taking a walk and talking.
about whatever the fuck I wanted to.
the real me... without the filters that I've grown so used to.
Without the self-limiting self-conscious bullshit I always throw
out to the world...
not on paper.... no, not when I write...
but you know how us empaths are...
you know how us introverts are....
anything to get you away from us.
anything to get you to go away.
anything to get your eyes to avert from ours.
please don't see me....
I feel you too deeply... I can't take it all in.
...unless you wait for me
please wait...
so we hide.... under layers and layers of ruses and masks...
who knows us here on the outside?
Anyway...
What's real about you?
---- I'm obviously not easily known, nor easily understood. But I shall try.
I am one to throw themselves off the cliff and one to trust the invisible magic to catch me.
I am one to do it again and again
I am one who feels too much too often.
I see the pain of others, even if they hide it well. And I'm also the same one who will not save them.
I hear what you are saying, even if you cover it with more words to confuse others. And I'm also the one who will let you.
I am the one who finds it hard to stand with others, even if I support your idea. And I'm also the one who will abandon all ideas in the end.
I am the one who feels the how unworthy people caught up in religion feel. And I'm also the one who will let them remain in their darkness. I can't befriend you. I can't take your pain from you.
I am the one who knows what an alchemist truly is. I know why these energies pour out into me. I know and I transmute them when I can. When they don't swallow me for a time.
I am one without attachments. Without expectations, even if at times they are nice to dream about.
I'm also the same one who will pretend to be attached... and break expectations....on purpose.
I'm also the same person who agreed to come here.
And the same one who will agree to leave.
I prefer not to speak....yet want to be heard. I prefer not to be seen....yet want to be understood.
I prefer not to share....yet want you to take all these things away. I prefer not to explain....yet a part of me still tries.... I should slay her....with love.
I prefer to live among the trees....yet I don't. I prefer to do things that call to me....yet some fall to the wayside...and I cry for them. *no, not actually cry, dumbass. I only cry over sad stories.
I go through times where I get lots of stuff done...and other times I get nothing done at all. Times I buy shit I don't need and times I dont..... and I usually have the same amount of money either way.....soooo I just do whateverthefuck I want now.
I say yes to myself more and more. I trust myself more and more. I love myself more and more.
I love others more and more. I love everything I receive more and more.
All the things.
I am real.... but you must wait for me to give myself to you.
You'll never see me otherwise.
sorry, not sorry.
day 5 homework
Yep....pretty much really day 2
no one cares, yo.
I do things my way in case you haven't noticed.
Not posting any of these...
if you find your way here...
You're lost. go home.
Day 5 homework is to write a list
of things you can delegate.
In other words, things that need to get done
but you don't want to do.
a.k.a. where are you peeing in the pool.
1. --- I've come to the conclusion that me and gardening are not friends.
me and plants are not friends.... at least outside plants.
it's way easier to buy the stuff I grow.
I like flowers... we'll just do flowers.
so I'm delegating the garden to the earth. You're welcome.
2. --- I don't really like cooking.... when's the future getting here again??
(sooner if everyone would stop reliving the past! argh!)
3. --- .....
It looks like I do most of the things I like to do and not the things I don't.
who knew...?
lol
no one cares, yo.
I do things my way in case you haven't noticed.
Not posting any of these...
if you find your way here...
You're lost. go home.
Day 5 homework is to write a list
of things you can delegate.
In other words, things that need to get done
but you don't want to do.
a.k.a. where are you peeing in the pool.
1. --- I've come to the conclusion that me and gardening are not friends.
me and plants are not friends.... at least outside plants.
it's way easier to buy the stuff I grow.
I like flowers... we'll just do flowers.
so I'm delegating the garden to the earth. You're welcome.
2. --- I don't really like cooking.... when's the future getting here again??
(sooner if everyone would stop reliving the past! argh!)
3. --- .....
It looks like I do most of the things I like to do and not the things I don't.
who knew...?
lol
day 4 homework
Day 4 homework for ET Shift.
ummm... I'm not liking this one.
Write down people who are your support group.
Those that build on your ideas and motivate you
and open up your outlooks.
List those who expand you
and those who contract you.
1. My very good friend.
2. Myself
3. Storie
4. ...... Skylar sometimes.
5. ......Teir sometimes.
6. ...... randomly occasionally someone else (not really)
So yeah...that leaves me with diddly squat
Not posting this one either....
if you're here... don't take anything personally.
I can only compare you to the best.... and well...
things aren't looking in your favor.
Those who expand me.... are all in my fucking soul group.
Spirit journey people... even you-know-who expands me...
Sorry humans of this reality.
Those who contract me....
any fucking one who is negative or whiny ass complainer
and fucking one who believes in limitations.
everyone at some point or another except those on the list above.
I'm just too sensitive to people's energy.
They say one thing, but only out of obligation
They say one thing, but don't feel it.
They say many things.... but I know who's in the same frequency as me.
Some are close... like some peeps from facebook.
... the trees are closer than most. sorry, not sorry.
So where does this information leave me....
back where I started.
but in another world.
so now you know why I don't hang with people....
I can't or I'll die.
This homework was to find teammates....
I have a whole council on my side.
I have guides and teachers.
I have my very good friend and those other two, lol.
I have the depths of knowing and pools
of living energy.
I have it all. I HAVE IT ALL!
not sorry.
ummm... I'm not liking this one.
Write down people who are your support group.
Those that build on your ideas and motivate you
and open up your outlooks.
List those who expand you
and those who contract you.
1. My very good friend.
2. Myself
3. Storie
4. ...... Skylar sometimes.
5. ......Teir sometimes.
6. ...... randomly occasionally someone else (not really)
So yeah...that leaves me with diddly squat
Not posting this one either....
if you're here... don't take anything personally.
I can only compare you to the best.... and well...
things aren't looking in your favor.
Those who expand me.... are all in my fucking soul group.
Spirit journey people... even you-know-who expands me...
Sorry humans of this reality.
Those who contract me....
any fucking one who is negative or whiny ass complainer
and fucking one who believes in limitations.
everyone at some point or another except those on the list above.
I'm just too sensitive to people's energy.
They say one thing, but only out of obligation
They say one thing, but don't feel it.
They say many things.... but I know who's in the same frequency as me.
Some are close... like some peeps from facebook.
... the trees are closer than most. sorry, not sorry.
So where does this information leave me....
back where I started.
but in another world.
so now you know why I don't hang with people....
I can't or I'll die.
This homework was to find teammates....
I have a whole council on my side.
I have guides and teachers.
I have my very good friend and those other two, lol.
I have the depths of knowing and pools
of living energy.
I have it all. I HAVE IT ALL!
not sorry.
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
day 3 homework
so yeah, this is still day one...
no one fucking cares.
I do things in my own time, yo.
and today it says do 3 days worth! Whoot!
Won't post this one to FB either...but if you find it...
you're welcome to read it.
Today's homework....
Out of the things you have going on...
write down the things that feel heavy.
No time frame on this one, sweet!
Ok...things that feel heavy... in my non business.
Heavy... a garden.... can you believe how much time and effort it takes to keep that shit up.
I grew some things, yes and I have flowers in the other... but holy shit
too much work.... got to change that for sure, cause it's certainly heavy! and I'm only 1 person, yo.
A yard is too much work, but I don't do it....soooo. hmmm. I miss trees.
Summer is too much work...why can't I fucking go hiking?! Oh I know.... it's fucking 11155000 degrees outside! So much for that awesome ass bicycle I own!
Heavy.... the loads of fabric I still have.... omg people, someone buy this shit! It's beautiful fabric and name brand designer shit.... I can't give it to you, but I can sell it to you for a great price! That goes for all the sewing crap I have that I probably will never use.
Heavy... ugly ass clothes I don't care for.... why is this such an issue to part with them? fuck!
Heavy... listening to the people on the screenwriting group complain or ask stupid questions about screenwriting... or tell people how 'hard' it is...for them. Fuck that. I don't need your pity party or negative outlooks mucking up my freeflowing spirit shit. Unfollowing!
Heavy... indecisive people...why don't people know what they want?! i guess I'll start just asking myself. Fuck it.
Heavy...well, not this one ....god...do you realize I no longer think of debt as heavy... fuck yes. It feels so light and calm. - Mindset coaching. hell to the yes.
Heavy.... no privacy. Not in the house, I'm talking outside the house. Like neighbors. Like noise, like cars, like concrete.
Heavy... watching movies that suck. It gives me hope, but also I'm rather so disappointed... where is the magic? where are the feels that matter.
Heavy.... people with issues that are unable to look at them. I can't fix you friends. But I can love you.
Heavy... everyone that says shit about 'finding your tribe' bullshit. Shut the fuck up!!! You can't find them! Do they exist??! Probably not for me. at least not in this realm.
Heavy.... a horrible stereo in my 4runner.... omg! I don't think I can live another day listening to 1985-1995 songs...fuck. this is like movies....stop remaking shit!! I want to move forward!!!FORWARD!!!! ok...I get that 5, almost 6 planets are in retrograde.......maybe, just maybe we can get on with it soon, yo. I'm dying here!
Heavy... telling anyone anything about my screenplays, book, ideas, thoughts, opinions, revelations, etc, etc, etc, etc! You don't deserve me, yo.
Heavy... that I haven't done the thing I feel I should do. fuck.
Looks like I have work to un-do... and do.
But first... fireworks...
I'm not doing day 4 today, so we get to wait until tomorrow...after work orders are done.
Don't go searching for your fingers, the dog ate them.
no one fucking cares.
I do things in my own time, yo.
and today it says do 3 days worth! Whoot!
Won't post this one to FB either...but if you find it...
you're welcome to read it.
Today's homework....
Out of the things you have going on...
write down the things that feel heavy.
No time frame on this one, sweet!
Ok...things that feel heavy... in my non business.
Heavy... a garden.... can you believe how much time and effort it takes to keep that shit up.
I grew some things, yes and I have flowers in the other... but holy shit
too much work.... got to change that for sure, cause it's certainly heavy! and I'm only 1 person, yo.
A yard is too much work, but I don't do it....soooo. hmmm. I miss trees.
Summer is too much work...why can't I fucking go hiking?! Oh I know.... it's fucking 11155000 degrees outside! So much for that awesome ass bicycle I own!
Heavy.... the loads of fabric I still have.... omg people, someone buy this shit! It's beautiful fabric and name brand designer shit.... I can't give it to you, but I can sell it to you for a great price! That goes for all the sewing crap I have that I probably will never use.
Heavy... ugly ass clothes I don't care for.... why is this such an issue to part with them? fuck!
Heavy... listening to the people on the screenwriting group complain or ask stupid questions about screenwriting... or tell people how 'hard' it is...for them. Fuck that. I don't need your pity party or negative outlooks mucking up my freeflowing spirit shit. Unfollowing!
Heavy... indecisive people...why don't people know what they want?! i guess I'll start just asking myself. Fuck it.
Heavy...well, not this one ....god...do you realize I no longer think of debt as heavy... fuck yes. It feels so light and calm. - Mindset coaching. hell to the yes.
Heavy.... no privacy. Not in the house, I'm talking outside the house. Like neighbors. Like noise, like cars, like concrete.
Heavy... watching movies that suck. It gives me hope, but also I'm rather so disappointed... where is the magic? where are the feels that matter.
Heavy.... people with issues that are unable to look at them. I can't fix you friends. But I can love you.
Heavy... everyone that says shit about 'finding your tribe' bullshit. Shut the fuck up!!! You can't find them! Do they exist??! Probably not for me. at least not in this realm.
Heavy.... a horrible stereo in my 4runner.... omg! I don't think I can live another day listening to 1985-1995 songs...fuck. this is like movies....stop remaking shit!! I want to move forward!!!FORWARD!!!! ok...I get that 5, almost 6 planets are in retrograde.......maybe, just maybe we can get on with it soon, yo. I'm dying here!
Heavy... telling anyone anything about my screenplays, book, ideas, thoughts, opinions, revelations, etc, etc, etc, etc! You don't deserve me, yo.
Heavy... that I haven't done the thing I feel I should do. fuck.
Looks like I have work to un-do... and do.
But first... fireworks...
I'm not doing day 4 today, so we get to wait until tomorrow...after work orders are done.
Don't go searching for your fingers, the dog ate them.
day 2 homework
Day 2 homework...
heck yes it's the same day as day 1
no one cares.
Today is to write down things you love to do
for 20 minutes...
and this time I will actually watch the time
for the most part.
Not posting this, but if you find it...
congrats? I guess.
My life is rather fascinating.
Things I love to do...
ready set go...
oh wait... let's wait till the 45 minute mark...
so I don't need to count the time...
1 more minute.
I'll start when it hits...
I love to............ :
Write obviously.
or more so I love to type.
I love stories...and writing stories... for the screen.
books are okay too.
I love dragons. and magical shit. Like unicorns and fantasy...
but not all that fantasy packed into one thing...
I like colors... and paints. So yes, I love to paint. Walls, furniture, objects.
canvas....anything really. wood, bricks...I'm not picky.
I love to listen to music...sometimes play... even thought it sucks the time away from me when I play.
I love music. Good music. It gives me ideas on things to write about.
I love castles. I love horses.... things to do...
ummm.
I love to go to the beach and hang out.
I love hiking and being with the trees.
I love writing and music.
I love to experience new things and feel new things.
I love animals and anything cat.
I love to ..... drink coffee sometimes. I love to be outside,,, even if I'm just sitting there.
I love to watch movies sometimes, but they have to be good....otherwise I use the fast forward button often... but I can't watch them all day...sometimes it feels like a task to watch a movie,,, I have shit to do yo...like sitting outside.
I love to make things, like weird things. Creatures. artwork, crafts.... but weird crafts. I like to cosplay...but it would be funner with friends.
I love to go find new discoveries... like shit from an estate sale that is within a good price, or something from a thrift shop that was unexpected. I love music... like concerts... but not any concert.
I love to write. To try my best to bring what's on the inside outside. I love to feel energy of shit and decode it. Like when you talk to trees and animals, or objects.
I love to doodle and sketch occasionally.
I love to browse craigslist and the marketplace for things I don't really need or want, but it's fun to see what's out there. Same with pinterest or deviantart. I love to find artists that inspire me. I love to connect with myself and meditate. I love to get Coraline to play, but not Isaac (he pinches!!) I love to get the kids involved in something...ANYTHING!
I love to play cards sometimes. and read books sometimes. and play video games sometimes.
I love to do photography and take pictures of stuff. People, places, objects. Random things. Lots of things. I like doing themed stuff with photography too. I love photography. and writing.
I love to go outside and hike in the forest. I like rock climbing too, but it would be funner with friends. Or bike riding. Or hiking.Or concerts.
I love to do art. Paint, draw, create...write. Screenwrite! - I love to be able to share and show people magic... even if they can't see/feel it. I love to share ideas and plans and thoughts and opinions and vices and darknesses and sunshine... I love to do rebel type stuff. I love to spend the day with the kids while all the other kids are at school and other people are at work.
I love doing art with little kids. We all can color outside the lines and draw new ones....and make those zebras.... dragon zebras, or pegasus zebras... I love to move forward.
I love to move and to feel and to become. I love to change and to grow and to evolve.
I love to give and to share and to release.
I love to allow. I love to welcome and receive. I love to hear the spirits and angels and guides from the otherworld. I love to see the future and meet new guides. I love to speak with trees. I love to do art...on the sidewalk or street and paint things with people.
I love competition. I love to be challenged. I love to win. I love to be a threat. I love to be loved and love to be feared. I love to be able to create magic and make it move. I love to manifest everything I want.
I love to be heard and seen. I love to be understood. I love to be worthy and noble and true.
I love to be honest and real. I love to sing and dance and share secrets. I love to color.
I love to twirl and inspire. I love to laugh and feel to feel...to feel. I love to write about the feels and the spirits. I love to dive into my other world and truly... live.
Times up. that should be good enough, yo.
I was really getting somewhere with that.... did you see how it changed ^^^ from where it started to ended... hmmm. I should spend more time there... at the end... with Kres and my very good friend. <3
heck yes it's the same day as day 1
no one cares.
Today is to write down things you love to do
for 20 minutes...
and this time I will actually watch the time
for the most part.
Not posting this, but if you find it...
congrats? I guess.
My life is rather fascinating.
Things I love to do...
ready set go...
oh wait... let's wait till the 45 minute mark...
so I don't need to count the time...
1 more minute.
I'll start when it hits...
I love to............ :
Write obviously.
or more so I love to type.
I love stories...and writing stories... for the screen.
books are okay too.
I love dragons. and magical shit. Like unicorns and fantasy...
but not all that fantasy packed into one thing...
I like colors... and paints. So yes, I love to paint. Walls, furniture, objects.
canvas....anything really. wood, bricks...I'm not picky.
I love to listen to music...sometimes play... even thought it sucks the time away from me when I play.
I love music. Good music. It gives me ideas on things to write about.
I love castles. I love horses.... things to do...
ummm.
I love to go to the beach and hang out.
I love hiking and being with the trees.
I love writing and music.
I love to experience new things and feel new things.
I love animals and anything cat.
I love to ..... drink coffee sometimes. I love to be outside,,, even if I'm just sitting there.
I love to watch movies sometimes, but they have to be good....otherwise I use the fast forward button often... but I can't watch them all day...sometimes it feels like a task to watch a movie,,, I have shit to do yo...like sitting outside.
I love to make things, like weird things. Creatures. artwork, crafts.... but weird crafts. I like to cosplay...but it would be funner with friends.
I love to go find new discoveries... like shit from an estate sale that is within a good price, or something from a thrift shop that was unexpected. I love music... like concerts... but not any concert.
I love to write. To try my best to bring what's on the inside outside. I love to feel energy of shit and decode it. Like when you talk to trees and animals, or objects.
I love to doodle and sketch occasionally.
I love to browse craigslist and the marketplace for things I don't really need or want, but it's fun to see what's out there. Same with pinterest or deviantart. I love to find artists that inspire me. I love to connect with myself and meditate. I love to get Coraline to play, but not Isaac (he pinches!!) I love to get the kids involved in something...ANYTHING!
I love to play cards sometimes. and read books sometimes. and play video games sometimes.
I love to do photography and take pictures of stuff. People, places, objects. Random things. Lots of things. I like doing themed stuff with photography too. I love photography. and writing.
I love to go outside and hike in the forest. I like rock climbing too, but it would be funner with friends. Or bike riding. Or hiking.Or concerts.
I love to do art. Paint, draw, create...write. Screenwrite! - I love to be able to share and show people magic... even if they can't see/feel it. I love to share ideas and plans and thoughts and opinions and vices and darknesses and sunshine... I love to do rebel type stuff. I love to spend the day with the kids while all the other kids are at school and other people are at work.
I love doing art with little kids. We all can color outside the lines and draw new ones....and make those zebras.... dragon zebras, or pegasus zebras... I love to move forward.
I love to move and to feel and to become. I love to change and to grow and to evolve.
I love to give and to share and to release.
I love to allow. I love to welcome and receive. I love to hear the spirits and angels and guides from the otherworld. I love to see the future and meet new guides. I love to speak with trees. I love to do art...on the sidewalk or street and paint things with people.
I love competition. I love to be challenged. I love to win. I love to be a threat. I love to be loved and love to be feared. I love to be able to create magic and make it move. I love to manifest everything I want.
I love to be heard and seen. I love to be understood. I love to be worthy and noble and true.
I love to be honest and real. I love to sing and dance and share secrets. I love to color.
I love to twirl and inspire. I love to laugh and feel to feel...to feel. I love to write about the feels and the spirits. I love to dive into my other world and truly... live.
Times up. that should be good enough, yo.
I was really getting somewhere with that.... did you see how it changed ^^^ from where it started to ended... hmmm. I should spend more time there... at the end... with Kres and my very good friend. <3
Day 1 homework.
So I'm on Day 1 (of 21)
of Entrepreneurial Shift.
It's a program that helps build your business.
Not that I have a business...
Nor do I want one!!
I have ideas, yeah.
and I have dreams...?
...actually I do not agree with calling anything a dream.
'Dream' implies it's not real.
Even though I personally believe in dreams being real.
In an energy sense anyway.
Whatever...
So Day 1 homework is to just write out what I'm thinking..
for 30 minutes.
and so that's why I'm here today.
Not only to celebrate my independence from
every fucking thing that is not me...
but to start building on what is.
....so bear with me, as this blog post is nothing but
my homework for the program and will either not make sense to you
be way too fucking long, be irrelevant, boring.... or all of the above.
and I'm sure the punctuation will be a mess....
as my typing speed is usually faster than the computer processor
(feel free to send me an upgrade HP computer please)
So I made a rhyme this morning.
I think it's kind of lame but cute at the same time... Can they be both at the same time?
anyway here it goes...
I will not fight, I will not flee
Only allow, accept, and be
I am worthy, I am complete
I am, eternally me.
....so that's that. I think I only came up with it because yesterday I had to do something I didn't want to do to comply with work stuff and I didn't like feeling like crap being a rebel about it, or feeling like I was forced to pay money out for something. So I just changed my mind and decided I wanted to feel fucking awesome instead...and so I did. I decided that I was going to feel great and that everything is happening FOR me instead of TO me and that it's all going to work out in my favor. Period.
and it did.
Fuck that idea that I have to do anything for anyone. Or feel bad because other things outside of my circumstances want to be an ass about things. Whatever. It all will work out for my benefit and the world will revolve around me now. I don't give a shit what anyone says about it either.
So that was fun. I will do the add in to my script today, but not until we make it out to the fireworks store and spend cash on gunpowder and magnesium tubes. Because we only get so many summers with our kids and shooting them off is better since you won't have to sit in the crowds or drive anywhere. And you can irk the neighbor who reminds me of the lady from Misery. It'll be great.
I thought about finding little rocks and painting them, but that would mean I have to go out and find some that don't weigh a ton and are small...but then I tought I could make little wood token ones and paint those instead, even though that takes work to even get them prepared to paint...but they are lightweight and maybe you can make a necklace out of them or something. IDK, I was thinking I could paint and sell them for some cash, even though I wouldn't charge but maybe a few bucks for them. And if not, I;d have some to put into my stash of weird shit to show little kids in the future.
I thought about selling everything and moving far far away into the forest. Like Soddy. Close, but not too close. And I could not take care of the yard and have guineas and rabbits. And trees...lots of trees. And get rid of the neighbors and make noise louder than I currently do. I thought I could plan a beach vacation too, but I need to plan it around work schedules and when it won't rain or have a hurricane passing through. And maybe Dollywood instead of Six flags for the fall. And I need to plan what to get the oldest for their birthday. What they want? who knows. Maybe a laptop they were saving for, but concerts and cons got in the way and took the money. Or maybe something small.
I want to start Book 5 too, as I know where it's starting now. Of course there's certain scenes that keep playing on repeat over and over again and again...that I'm eager to write out....but not sure if I will keep them in the book...this wouldn't be kid/teen friendly. No, not gore or blood, or psychological mayhem....but more along the lines of ....umm... sex. can I even write something like that?...Will I even write something like that? Not that anyone buys my books anyway.... I can fucking do what I want, yo.
So I have this idea for another screenplay, but it's not gelled enough to start and I am so freaking excited to see what happens and what it's all about! EEEEKKKK!
I told you before, I don't make them up or actually make them...they come to me. And right now I only get images of what's happening, but I have no clue as to what the whole story entails or how it begins or ends...but it looks fucking amazingballs! It has dragons in it! And a girl....maybe she's a princess?? or will be?? idfk! I get all giddy and feel like a little kid and jumping up and down just before getting a huge waffle cone from the ice cream shop!....hey...why don't we have an ice cream shop?? beside that really expensive one downtown..that actually has dairy free ice cream... I know what's for lunch now... I should go wake up the youngest.... we can go pick up fireworks. and then I can come back and work on my script or watch a movie or something ... I did everything else yesterday and tomorrow I have to go do work orders...I wonder how much I'm getting paid...at the end of the month.... I admit that I don't keep track of everything, but I could look on the site...or I could count how many I did last month....but what surprise would that be? I guess it doesn't matter, I'm going to throw all of the pay onto a credit card and pay it off....(cause it opens it up for a balance transfer, yo!) I don't do interest payments well.... I like me some 0% for all the crap I have to have when I don't have cash. Like my tea set I bought myself....but evidently can't use because the oldest and the hubs have this warped view of it being too old and expensive to use because it might break, *gasp!. wth.... I bought it to eat muffins off of and danishes...(ok, I've never had a danish) but noooooooooooooooo..... now I just get to look at it...after I find a curio to put them in.... fuck sakes.
They agreed that I could use them if I ever got Hayoa Miyasaki to come over.... he's a Studio Ghibli director and writer. I accept that challenge and all...but what they don't know won't hurt them....they can't stay awake forever.
I'm gonna paint those ugly ass brink wall panels in my kitchen too....paint them to match my tea set!
Do a dragon artpiece or something because I like matching things when it's convenient. Or not. They won't let me paint the kitchen table either....fuck. It could match my kitchen and tone down the yellow applesauce floor if I painted it!
I should paint the piano too. Wood is for ..... traditional people... I'm traditional to the point of not being traditional at all. Do I even know what that means? Who cares...not me... anyway...How long has it been...I didn't time this thing and I'm supposed to do 30 mintues worth of writing out my thoughts.... I'm already aware that I distracted myself and went off on a few tangents and never went back to my original thought or wrote something else out. I should be a writer.... ha ha. I wonder what everyone else is doing today....actually no I don't I just wanted to make you think I actually cared... I don't. I wonder...I wonder.... I don't wonder much of anything. I know where I'm going.
Do you know it's really weird to meditate in the morning versus in the evening. You can feel your body more and feel the higher vibes you want to feel way better. If you hold onto those vibes for awhile longer you can manifest the energy equivalent of it. So you know what this means for me is that I will still get what I want, only faster... but I guess I should define what I want a bit better than a vague sense of money and joy and comfort and freedom and a new stereo for my 4runner.... and a hubby that's not being a drag. God I love him. so much I want to strangle him. Have you ever been married? It's great. Taught me a lot about myself and detaching from other people's shit and being able to recognize a bullshitter... taught me how to slay people pleasing and as an empath it's nice to know that how I feel is not how I feel....it's every fucking one else. And hubs has got this sinking death energy that he can't hold himself and my joyous light shining self likes to blind the fuck out of him. I relate it to a lighthouse. He's the tower....the cold, dark, damp, stony, hard as a rock pillar jolting out by the sea shore.... and he gets pelted by life's waves and struck by the cold ass water and rain and hail.... and he bitches about it all the time.... and me... I'm the light at the top. I have to climb his cold, dark, damp, god awful millions of steps to the top....and I used to curse the steps...how many of them, how hard it was to climb it again and again...., not anymore...my legs are stronger now....and I'd got to the top and sit in the center and shine shine shine. And he'd curse the brightness and he'd curse the heat from my light. and he'd stand tall and hold me up to the sky. And he'd keep me safe from the storm and protect me from all the bullshit in the world.... because I am the star filled with light...and he's my tower. God I love him. Even if he doesn't understand his greatness and his purpose. Ooohhh... can you see the netherworld? the ether?.... well... in what some people call heavens... there are souls and the souls are us. And he is a fine soul. I've seen him at his greatness... and that's who I love. All of him. ....ok, I've seen myself too....and I'm not sure I know her quite that well yet....so I've got a ways to go. Anyway.... so I hope that didn;t sound like some love letter or like I have a vice against him at all. I don't. He's great and drives me crazy....ebb and flow, baby.
I really think it's been 30 minutes...can I stop now? I have to wake up the youngest. I write pretty fast sometimes though. Maybe I'm just fooling myself...was I supposed to get something out of this? Was I supposed to come up with some broad scheme or plan to overthrow the world? ...hey, yhat sounds fun, let's do that! I say 'let's' as in me and you....but everyone is unreliable when it comes to broad schemes and plans.... so no... I will overthrow the world! Yes! I will do that!
My new plan is to overthrow the world! I did get something out of writing this homework out for my new business adventure... except it's not a business....it a being-ness. Fuck yeah! I'm pumped....l o l.
Maybe we'll have more homework tomorrow??!
Exciting!
Happy fourth of July and Independence Day....
I'll whack you on the head when the fireworks explode upon the stars and cast their ribbons down across the valleys and scatter them throughout the everglades.
Carry on the ways of our people and then smile in glee as you watch them burn.... the ways...not the people, yo!
of Entrepreneurial Shift.
It's a program that helps build your business.
Not that I have a business...
Nor do I want one!!
I have ideas, yeah.
and I have dreams...?
...actually I do not agree with calling anything a dream.
'Dream' implies it's not real.
Even though I personally believe in dreams being real.
In an energy sense anyway.
Whatever...
So Day 1 homework is to just write out what I'm thinking..
for 30 minutes.
and so that's why I'm here today.
Not only to celebrate my independence from
every fucking thing that is not me...
but to start building on what is.
....so bear with me, as this blog post is nothing but
my homework for the program and will either not make sense to you
be way too fucking long, be irrelevant, boring.... or all of the above.
and I'm sure the punctuation will be a mess....
as my typing speed is usually faster than the computer processor
(feel free to send me an upgrade HP computer please)
So I made a rhyme this morning.
I think it's kind of lame but cute at the same time... Can they be both at the same time?
anyway here it goes...
I will not fight, I will not flee
Only allow, accept, and be
I am worthy, I am complete
I am, eternally me.
....so that's that. I think I only came up with it because yesterday I had to do something I didn't want to do to comply with work stuff and I didn't like feeling like crap being a rebel about it, or feeling like I was forced to pay money out for something. So I just changed my mind and decided I wanted to feel fucking awesome instead...and so I did. I decided that I was going to feel great and that everything is happening FOR me instead of TO me and that it's all going to work out in my favor. Period.
and it did.
Fuck that idea that I have to do anything for anyone. Or feel bad because other things outside of my circumstances want to be an ass about things. Whatever. It all will work out for my benefit and the world will revolve around me now. I don't give a shit what anyone says about it either.
So that was fun. I will do the add in to my script today, but not until we make it out to the fireworks store and spend cash on gunpowder and magnesium tubes. Because we only get so many summers with our kids and shooting them off is better since you won't have to sit in the crowds or drive anywhere. And you can irk the neighbor who reminds me of the lady from Misery. It'll be great.
I thought about finding little rocks and painting them, but that would mean I have to go out and find some that don't weigh a ton and are small...but then I tought I could make little wood token ones and paint those instead, even though that takes work to even get them prepared to paint...but they are lightweight and maybe you can make a necklace out of them or something. IDK, I was thinking I could paint and sell them for some cash, even though I wouldn't charge but maybe a few bucks for them. And if not, I;d have some to put into my stash of weird shit to show little kids in the future.
I thought about selling everything and moving far far away into the forest. Like Soddy. Close, but not too close. And I could not take care of the yard and have guineas and rabbits. And trees...lots of trees. And get rid of the neighbors and make noise louder than I currently do. I thought I could plan a beach vacation too, but I need to plan it around work schedules and when it won't rain or have a hurricane passing through. And maybe Dollywood instead of Six flags for the fall. And I need to plan what to get the oldest for their birthday. What they want? who knows. Maybe a laptop they were saving for, but concerts and cons got in the way and took the money. Or maybe something small.
I want to start Book 5 too, as I know where it's starting now. Of course there's certain scenes that keep playing on repeat over and over again and again...that I'm eager to write out....but not sure if I will keep them in the book...this wouldn't be kid/teen friendly. No, not gore or blood, or psychological mayhem....but more along the lines of ....umm... sex. can I even write something like that?...Will I even write something like that? Not that anyone buys my books anyway.... I can fucking do what I want, yo.
So I have this idea for another screenplay, but it's not gelled enough to start and I am so freaking excited to see what happens and what it's all about! EEEEKKKK!
I told you before, I don't make them up or actually make them...they come to me. And right now I only get images of what's happening, but I have no clue as to what the whole story entails or how it begins or ends...but it looks fucking amazingballs! It has dragons in it! And a girl....maybe she's a princess?? or will be?? idfk! I get all giddy and feel like a little kid and jumping up and down just before getting a huge waffle cone from the ice cream shop!....hey...why don't we have an ice cream shop?? beside that really expensive one downtown..that actually has dairy free ice cream... I know what's for lunch now... I should go wake up the youngest.... we can go pick up fireworks. and then I can come back and work on my script or watch a movie or something ... I did everything else yesterday and tomorrow I have to go do work orders...I wonder how much I'm getting paid...at the end of the month.... I admit that I don't keep track of everything, but I could look on the site...or I could count how many I did last month....but what surprise would that be? I guess it doesn't matter, I'm going to throw all of the pay onto a credit card and pay it off....(cause it opens it up for a balance transfer, yo!) I don't do interest payments well.... I like me some 0% for all the crap I have to have when I don't have cash. Like my tea set I bought myself....but evidently can't use because the oldest and the hubs have this warped view of it being too old and expensive to use because it might break, *gasp!. wth.... I bought it to eat muffins off of and danishes...(ok, I've never had a danish) but noooooooooooooooo..... now I just get to look at it...after I find a curio to put them in.... fuck sakes.
They agreed that I could use them if I ever got Hayoa Miyasaki to come over.... he's a Studio Ghibli director and writer. I accept that challenge and all...but what they don't know won't hurt them....they can't stay awake forever.
I'm gonna paint those ugly ass brink wall panels in my kitchen too....paint them to match my tea set!
Do a dragon artpiece or something because I like matching things when it's convenient. Or not. They won't let me paint the kitchen table either....fuck. It could match my kitchen and tone down the yellow applesauce floor if I painted it!
I should paint the piano too. Wood is for ..... traditional people... I'm traditional to the point of not being traditional at all. Do I even know what that means? Who cares...not me... anyway...How long has it been...I didn't time this thing and I'm supposed to do 30 mintues worth of writing out my thoughts.... I'm already aware that I distracted myself and went off on a few tangents and never went back to my original thought or wrote something else out. I should be a writer.... ha ha. I wonder what everyone else is doing today....actually no I don't I just wanted to make you think I actually cared... I don't. I wonder...I wonder.... I don't wonder much of anything. I know where I'm going.
Do you know it's really weird to meditate in the morning versus in the evening. You can feel your body more and feel the higher vibes you want to feel way better. If you hold onto those vibes for awhile longer you can manifest the energy equivalent of it. So you know what this means for me is that I will still get what I want, only faster... but I guess I should define what I want a bit better than a vague sense of money and joy and comfort and freedom and a new stereo for my 4runner.... and a hubby that's not being a drag. God I love him. so much I want to strangle him. Have you ever been married? It's great. Taught me a lot about myself and detaching from other people's shit and being able to recognize a bullshitter... taught me how to slay people pleasing and as an empath it's nice to know that how I feel is not how I feel....it's every fucking one else. And hubs has got this sinking death energy that he can't hold himself and my joyous light shining self likes to blind the fuck out of him. I relate it to a lighthouse. He's the tower....the cold, dark, damp, stony, hard as a rock pillar jolting out by the sea shore.... and he gets pelted by life's waves and struck by the cold ass water and rain and hail.... and he bitches about it all the time.... and me... I'm the light at the top. I have to climb his cold, dark, damp, god awful millions of steps to the top....and I used to curse the steps...how many of them, how hard it was to climb it again and again...., not anymore...my legs are stronger now....and I'd got to the top and sit in the center and shine shine shine. And he'd curse the brightness and he'd curse the heat from my light. and he'd stand tall and hold me up to the sky. And he'd keep me safe from the storm and protect me from all the bullshit in the world.... because I am the star filled with light...and he's my tower. God I love him. Even if he doesn't understand his greatness and his purpose. Ooohhh... can you see the netherworld? the ether?.... well... in what some people call heavens... there are souls and the souls are us. And he is a fine soul. I've seen him at his greatness... and that's who I love. All of him. ....ok, I've seen myself too....and I'm not sure I know her quite that well yet....so I've got a ways to go. Anyway.... so I hope that didn;t sound like some love letter or like I have a vice against him at all. I don't. He's great and drives me crazy....ebb and flow, baby.
I really think it's been 30 minutes...can I stop now? I have to wake up the youngest. I write pretty fast sometimes though. Maybe I'm just fooling myself...was I supposed to get something out of this? Was I supposed to come up with some broad scheme or plan to overthrow the world? ...hey, yhat sounds fun, let's do that! I say 'let's' as in me and you....but everyone is unreliable when it comes to broad schemes and plans.... so no... I will overthrow the world! Yes! I will do that!
My new plan is to overthrow the world! I did get something out of writing this homework out for my new business adventure... except it's not a business....it a being-ness. Fuck yeah! I'm pumped....l o l.
Maybe we'll have more homework tomorrow??!
Exciting!
Happy fourth of July and Independence Day....
I'll whack you on the head when the fireworks explode upon the stars and cast their ribbons down across the valleys and scatter them throughout the everglades.
Carry on the ways of our people and then smile in glee as you watch them burn.... the ways...not the people, yo!
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
that was too easy O_O
Script is edited...although I have 2 small parts
where I think I need to add in something to
help with the transition to the next scene.
I'll think on it.
(actually, no I won't. I'll just wait for it...)
(or ask Storie...)
Everything else was perfect. Ya hear that.
Perfect.
Not inspired today.
Just feeling the feels and coasting
across the waves.
Sitting with it all.
On Level 40
had to redo last one, since the weather
is not compliant with physical labor.
So I get to start Book 5.
Not sure when I'll do this exactly.
I'm thinking tomorrow.
But I have a few other things that need done first.
and the brain is making them seem larger than they are.
I'm off to go meditate on the feels and shit.
maybe let those script details come to me.
whatevs.... I want to do outside shit
but no....
heat...
good for swimming and tanning.
not for moving about
and aliens come out at night...soooo
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