this thing entered my aware-house today...
not at the time, but afterwards...
at the store, the grocery store...
that phrase, that fucking phrase...
did you find everything all right?
did you find everything you were looking for?
how are you today?
I'm raging.
not mad...not annoyed...
I'm littered in pity for you.
Pity that you demean yourself so.
Pity that you do as you're told.
Pity that you give your soul to do meaningless chores.
Pity that you ask those same questions to every fucking customer that passes your register.
Just stop.
Please fucking stop.
There are people who absolutely love that sort of job, but I know you are not one of them.
otherwise you wouldn't have repeated the same question twice...or was it thrice?
please for the love of any god that reigns upon your kingdom...fucking stop the bullshit.
Stop fucking giving leeway to every thing you 'should' do and fucking do whatever you really love to do. If you don't know what it is, then at least stop doing the things that are not what you love.
Please please please for the sake of Jesus Christ... once you clear out what you do not love, every space will fill with love. I swear this to you.
Please stop treating yourself like you deserve punishment.
You do not.
Stop treating yourself like you must be careful, or secure, or safe, or even 'good'.
You always always always are. This is not your job.
Stop acting like you have to prove yourself, or that you need to overcome...
for fuck's sake... you are the overcoming itself. You are above every fucking thing you see.
You don't need to earn anything. ASK and it will be given.
Stop playing around the edges of eternity and fucking jump in.
If these thoughts had came to me while I stood before you, I would have thrown you a curveball.
I would have said no.
But you would have said, oh no, can I get someone to look for it for you...
fucking stop! I don't want your help. I don't even want you to speak. Be silent. For I'd rather hear nothing than that fake bullshit that pours from your lips.
How are you today? I'm littered in pity.
but then you'll say... oh no, why, bad day? or you'll smile that smile that needs cut open with a pocket knife. Why so serious?
the same fucking record playing through every soul that lives within your dimension. over and over and over and over. The same comments. The same expressions. The same cloned existence that can't escape. Please wake up.
I'm unable to help you, unless you can hear the story behind the words...
I'm unwilling to wait for you. I will leave you behind. I will leave you behind.
I'm no savior. I'm not here for you.
________________________________________________________
the blood moon shines.... and this is the second death....
get ready for it.... things are about to explode like nobody's business.
Metallica plays in the background.... and this rhythm is like an energetic match to what's waiting behind the next door.
Open it! Open it!!!! It's going to start fast and move fast, but it won't leave you in the dark.
By the turn of the year... this person you think you are now....will be obsolete.
Welcome to the age of Aquarius.... bearing the waters within.... pour them out children...
Pour it all the fuck out. Drown everyone with your awesomeness.
________________________________________________________
Update on the purge...
upstairs is done and it's all cleaned except to mop n' glo the floors...I ran out.
purging downstairs is on the agenda
painting my living room is on the agenda
chapter 5 is on the agenda...totally getting there!
outline for next script is on the agenda
zucchini bread...
meeting the math teacher people next week for the oldest
hunting down a media console for my new living room too
work orders.... maybe next week, none right now
need to watch script videos sometime soon
need to dive in for another edit session with completed scripts
I really want to exercise...but not really... but yeah... ugh. Is there a way to just manifest this, that would be totally easier than actually having to move yourself....?
I feel like owning a costume.... but do I want to sew it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't make me die laughing.... I have other plans, thank you.
Is it midnight pirate dress-up hour? ...no... *sadness.
"Nothing is true; everything is permitted"
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