Blueberry and Strawberry banana bubblegum....yes

The whole world is an iciee truck.

What flavor do you want?


________________

________

I did start that book, and even if the idea gave birth back in late August, it's been a good few weeks of keeping up with it. I started the firs word stuffs on Nov 29th... so 3 months since birth...conception?...
   (ugh...is it no wonder my manifestations take the same amount of time...strange)
 This one is different though. It's not the novel, where I could write for hours every night, except maybe the occasional rare times when I must sleep. This one is composed of short snippets of conversations.
Dated and only a page or two. Some whole other structure, I'm not quite familiar with. I write a piece of it every other day or so.
Is this even how I am supposed to do it?

The Alchemist hasn't complained or changed up the strategy....as if I even have one. Things just come when they come. And I'm hyper aware of 'do it now' energy, versus, 'oh, I'll get to it in a little bit'...
ummm yeah... no.
Today's was not really about the iciee truck, but it was involved.
and just a few minutes ago, I think I connected the whole aspect of the people on the beach...
and the fact that Jupiter is moving prograde into Pisces not too long from now. So astrology shit...
which I'm really wanting to disbunk permanently.
I do lean strongly more to my Scorpio Moon and Ascendant on 90% of the astrology aspects....but yeah...
and I also have to go check something I'm wondering about...
because I read that it mentioned the last time the big J was in Pisces was Jan 2010-Jan 2011....
so Imma go look real quick to see if I had any blog posts... hang on...
nevamind.... I don't.... I think they only keep up to 10 years on here and delete the old ones before that
:(
I deleted my whole history, so I feel that sentiment, haha

I wonder if was about the same times I was seeing weird shit in the sky, and talking to Jesus in my kitchen...
THAT WAS FUN AS HELL!!!! <3 <3 <3
YES, let's do THAT AGAIN!
I promise I won't think I'm going crazy this time!!
YES YES YES!



.

back on track...

what flavor do you want..
Cause we get to choose

Choose what you want, yo!

BOSS ~ Financail Feng Shui 101

 "Debt to Divine: Defeating the Boss, to Becoming the BOSS!"

Step 1:

Set you goal.
Get it down to the details.
Hone your aim.
Know exactly what you want.
*** WRITE it down! Carry it in your pocket and look at it often!! Don't risk forgetting!
Set a time frame.
What feels good and easy for you?
How long do you want to focus on this goal?
What is the end feeling you want?
How will you feel when you reach this goal?
How will you feel if you reach it sooner than planned?
What about if it takes a little longer?
Make sure your goal, your time frame, and your feelings about it all FEEL FABULOUS!

Infusing your energy, thoughts, actions with supportive awesome emotions creates the frequency and channel that defines the experience you will have during the journey.
We check in with these feelings every time we look at our goal sheet. Which we will benefit from by looking at it OFTEN!

If we find ourselves off the good feeling path, we realign and get back into feeling good before we take action toward something. Don't take a step unless the step is filled with energy that you like.
***It doesn't matter what the action is or the object. It matters how YOU ARE while you are on your way to it, or on it.
You are creating the energy, not you responding to the outside things' energy.
We are not going to respond.
We are not going to swerve and make way for outside things to tell us where we are going or what we are doing.
We are not moving from our focus. From our chosen good emotions. From our desires.
We are not folding or stepping aside or playing servant to ANYTHING outside of ourselves!

We are creating and FORGING our path and those outer things will move around US!

Yes, this is BOSS energy.
You don't walk down a crowded street and move out of the way of everyone, or you will not get to where you're going very efficiently. The difference between Morpheus and Neo in the Matrix when they were on the street learning about agents. You get the picture.
You stand up and WALK with certainty... and most, if not all, of those people move for you.
This is what we are accomplishing by sticking to our goal, and not cowering when something tries to make us step away from it.
LEARN the word NO. Say NO to things appearing to pull you from your throne.
NO. HELL NO.
WE WILL NOT BEND THE KNEE.
WE WILL NOT FALL ASLEEP AND FORGET.
WE WILL NOT ACCOMMODATE THE MATRIX OR THE AGENTS OR THOSE so-called ASLEEP.
'MOVE TF OUT OF MY WAY' (or I will totally run you tf over with my big ass gas-guzzling suv and not think another thing about it) - ENERGY.
Decide what you want to call this version of you. And start dating him/her. Cause you are going places and you're gonna get there faster than you think.


*****
So write the goal out, and time frame, and carry it with you.
AND
when you take an action on the goal, write it out too!
In the case of making a payment, include how much it was, where it came from, how you feel taking that step, and what you want to feel more of when you take the next.
*****
___________________________________________


My goal for reference is paying off $4000 on a specific debt.
   This is not including anything else, no other debts, no other bills, no other obligations. This is the one I want to see as $0 balance. This is the one I've enjoyed my time with and want it ready and open to provide me with new experiences in the future.
I'm giving myself 60 days. Technically by Feb 6th... to have this at $0 balance, so I am open and free to focus on upcoming spring projects and my youngest's birthday. Oh...and I have a concert to go to then too.
So yeah, Feb 6th. $0 balance on one of my favorite credit cards.

I have my goal written down and it's gonna be in my pocket or with my phone, so I always have it with me at least most of the time.

I will be doing a gentle clearing on clutter to get it out of my way and out of sight.
I will be handling and bulk build up in any drawers or closets or areas I frequent.
And I'm adding in some physical movement to get my body to release.
And self care relaxation to get my body to receive.
Will elaborate on those more in Step 2 or 3

I don't work the last half of December, cause that's Soul's time.... so I will not be focusing on my business or building/creating an 'earned' (ick, what a crap word) income. Which you'd think will affect my finances, but it actually enhances it because Soul does her thing and she creates/attracts money by 'being' happy. Like magic.
She'll probably play her ukelele, write, do art, make gifts, bake, and get all gung ho about something insane. It'll certainly be fun. I do know she wants to rewatch the Jurassic World movies for some reason (god, why!?), and deep clean the bathroom...with like a scrub brush and shit (what t f...?)...and I'm trying to talk her out of it. And jigsaw puzzles...
But she'll probably make more money...bet.

__
BTW... as of writing this out here, I got a $400 check and a $180 paypal payment in...  (tbd how much will go toward my goal, but I will write it down when I take that action)
30% will go to Soul, cause that's my space of love in receiving. ($174)
I know 30% is high af when you are trying to tackle a goal, but this isn't the boss in the water temple of Zelda and just kill the thing already...

*** This is creating you as the BOSS...and you get 30 fucking %. PERIOD.

This technique will pay you more than in money down the road and if you learn nothing else, learn this... PAY YOURSELF FIRST.
Rewrite whatever programming tells you it's hard, or too much, or scary, or whatever pansy ass excuse you could choose... DO NOT BEND THE KNEE. DO NOT ACCOMMODATE THE MATRIX OR IT'S AGENTS. MOVE TF OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY...energy.

Get on it.



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"Debt to Divine: Defeating the Boss, to Becoming the BOSS!"

Step 2:

We've got our goal set. Now we are going to allow energy in and through and up and out and all over the place, cause THAT support and abundance and prosperity IS already in and around us, that all we are doing is tapping in to it.
We are allowing it to move in our realities and our experiences and our wallets too.


***
        Simply put, a decent and EASY clearing and cleaning.
   No, I'm talking saging your house, unless you want to. I'm talking getting those little tasks and hang ups tended to and put to rest. For reals.
   I'm talking making sure clutter isn't piling up on your kitchen table. Making sure your kitchen sink isn't full of dirty dishes or stacked ever so precariously into the drying rack to where no one wants to touch them for fear they might fall....cause they most definitely will.
  I'm talking about picking up that trash out of your car. Sweeping your floors and putting things away where they go. Making sure your crap you have with you isn't stuffed to the brim full of useless stuff.
  Make your phone calls, get shit handled. You don't want some thing you haven't done constantly on replay in the back of your mind while you are walking forward into goal territory, because that one little thing could very well be the one that slows you down, pulls you back, or delays everything...like an anchor you forgot to pull out of the water.
Get with it. Handle your shit. Get your affairs in order. In 1 day you could do most all of this.

If you open your dresser drawer and it's full of crap you keep pushing to the back, cause you know you are only going to keep choosing these 3 favorite shirts over and over... do yourself a favor and pitch the rest of the stuff that's literately taking up room for NEW and AMAZING.


***
       We are multi-dimensional, multi-layered beings. Let's not disregard how energy moves through our bodies.
 Get moving. Walk, dance, clean, put an intentional hop in your step, kick a bag, run through the forest naked... whatever works for you. Get some exhilaration into your cells. Into your muscles, into your soul. No matter what you do, DO IT intentionally.
While you're present in moving your body, tell it good things.
Every time I punch the shit out of this kick bag, I make space for $10.
Every time I do a little jig while cooking supper, I make space for prosperity.
Every time I dash around the house at 4am naked, a $100 idea pops into my head.
You get the point. Customize and cultivate this for you and specifically FOR YOU.
Not your kids, not your spouse, not your cat. YOU. This is ALL for YOU.

You get to be greedy and selfish and anything else someone wants to say that pulls you off track and away from your goal (they are an agent of the matrix, yo). While you're at it, become best friends with those words that trigger emotions within you. If you can't handle being called a 'selfish, only thinks of yourself, all you care about it blah blah blah...'  you won't be able to handle $10 million either. ...because if level 1 of 'You spent $10 on a smoothie, that's ridiculous' name calling hurts your little feelers, level 50 'Why don't you just give me a million dollars, don't you love me' could destroy you...and make you broke...without that backbone.

When we expand, we expand to include more. So more free, more selfish, more giving, more happy, more understanding, more boundaries, more choosiness, more pickiness, more loving, more open, more of it all... If you want to try and choose just the good, go for it...but when we heal our relationship with what we have learned is 'bad'.... we make it good too....because WE ARE INHERENTLY AND NATURALLY GOOD.

I'm fucking selfish when I need to be.
I like things and experiences and ideas and expansion and learning.... and while sometimes other's have a fit about me 'wasting my time on this new thing' and not sitting all week to watch whateverthefuck is on Netflix... that doesn't mean I won't include them in my wealth.
When I benefit, they benefit. And I don't hold it against them. When they benefit, I benefit because I want them to succeed and prosper too!
So be selfish. Cause you can't pour from an empty cup.

Also!

***
      Relaxation! Rejuvenation! Rest!
Take that hot bath, soak it up. Sit in the sun when you can. Use your lotions, oils, bathbombs, whatever.
Tend to your fingernails, your nose hairs. Wear comfortable clothing you just luuuuuv!
Includes scents you like. Include a quiet night with candles. Do your thing.
Massage, breathe, make love, self-care and more self-care.
Soft gentle music, sitting quietly a few times a day to feel yourself and check your mindset.
Meditate, soothe, spoil yourself a bit.
Go to the forest, even if you are just sitting in the car in silence (and maybe the heater).
Go to the water.
Touch things...go to Home Goods or Target and TOUCH the blankets, the furs, the dishes, the stuffs....or for a more masculine touch, go to Lowes, gaze upon the tools, put them in your hand. Feel the weight of that Husqvarna chainsaw. Walk down the wood aisles, the good wood, touch that sanded maple trim and ooh and ahh over it. You do you, yo.
** TOUCH is a great tool for embodying your FULL AWARENESS and FULL SELF.
This creates a safe space for that abundance and wealth to reach our physical being.


_________________________________________


I have my goal written out.
I'm off to go do a SIMPLE and EASY clearing and cleaning.
I'm changing the bedsheets, and making sure those dishes are put away.
My bedroom will be cleaned fully, simply.
And most other things I will handle when I come to them.
My sewing room is a mess and so is the room we just laid carpet in, so that needs set up better until I get my cabinets (which happened to be out of stock, so I gotta wait for those)
Yes, clear off the kitchen table, cause I know there's something on it again...
I will do some work on some orders that I can, as I don't have all the pieces in yet.
Spend some getting-to-know-you time on the treadmill.
Long hot shower, cause I can.
Make myself a smoothie.

I have to run to run to the bank/store/Hobby Lobby for work and tasks tomorrow. Will be taking an action on my goal and I will write it down. And it's closer to $4300 than 4k...sooo... I'm going to love that and get in line with knowing support will show up for that extra amount as well. Cause "$0 balance owed" is a glorious thing to see. <3
And making an effort to create a real meal plan, cause this winging it 95% of the time just isn't supporting of my happiness.
Will talk more about supporting our happiness in Step 3!



___________________
__________________
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____________


"Debt to Divine: Defeating the Boss, to Becoming the BOSS!"
Step 3:

Supporting ourselves for the journey, staying focused, and taking actions.

It's not all about the striving for the money or the attainment of something.
It's also not just about the clearing and cleaning and making space.
It's not even about keeping our eye on the prize.
It's more about creating an atmosphere inwardly and outwardly that supports the venture towards your goal AND supports you along the way, AND supports the space you want to be in when you reach your goal...so that it is maintained.

Thoughts and old mindsets are one of the first things that will show up to turn your eyes toward whatever distractions it can get you to latch onto.
Old beliefs about not being able to accomplish this or that, or memories of how difficult it was the last time.
When we make room for the old replay's of yesterday, we add them to our playlist and don't get to listen to the songs that move us forward.
    (Feng Shui tip: make a new playlist of every great song that feels aligned with your goal and how you want to feel reaching your goal. And only listen to it during your timeframe)
We fall back on old patterns and start doing things the way we've learned before, because it will relieve the pressure NOW...even if it causes us to lose track later. And you know it does, yet we allow the old actions and ideas and decisions to control us now....which just leads us to more of the same of what we've gotten.  

*** So our first support is maintaining that focus.
Staying honed on our signal of goal territory.
Put your BOSS clothing on, even if you're staying at home, and WEAR that energy.
No allowing anything but today's choices in.
And we need to make that choice EVERY SINGLE DAY.

When we take actions, we need to attune to our desired emotions and inner knowings.
Not all airy fairy, this feels good, but ALSO we WANT the hard proven facts that taking that action gives us a result we feel good about.
So yeah, making a higher than normal payment can be scary, if you are cutting into money you may need for other things later, BUT... sometimes the emotional energy comes AFTER WE TAKE THE ACTION.   (this happens for me a lot!)
So personally I know myself that I have to disregard many of my emotions before taking an action...and fucking JUMP. It always catches me in the end though...and usually the bigger, crazier, most ridiculous actions create the most joy and substantial amount of progress for me. I know I hold myself back far more than I'd like to admit... because emotions (eww).
Anyway, we often feel good about it afterwards! So know yourself and how you work with your own energy.
*** Feel amazing before, or during, or after.... but don't let any of the feelers make your choice for you.


When it feels like shit, we can do something about it too.
We can not take the action.
          (Safety check, be sure to wear your knee pads and harness, cause you ain't going nowhere (('now here' is where you'll stay)))
We can tweak the action back into our safe space of, that feels good, let's make little waves and hope for the best.
         (Who wants to suffer longer? eww. Let's totally make room for weak cowardly moves...NOT)
We can change us and how we see and feel about it.
         (Winner winner, chicken dinner!)
   Sit with the thought, the emotion, the idea, the action   and   move    that    shit   up   through   your    body   and   hold   it   in   your   heartspace.   Hold that bitch there with love, and allowing, and acceptance, and space, and room to scream/kick/fight/argue/flail/ have a temper tantrum in the middle of the Santa line at the mall...and you're going to hold it in LOVE as she/he does so.... until it's done. And when it's done, give her/him a hug and love them 1000x more...and then... DO THE THING.

*** We change energy by being present with it.
Like the child on the floor causing you nothing but embarrassment and shame and omg, I must be the worst parent to just stand here and watch this brat of a child wail and not get her way... *big sigh...
too fucking bad....
WE ARE DOING THE THING.
AND WE DO IT WITH LOVE.



______________________________

So on my personal $4300, I want this to say $0 balance owed machine.... GOAL
I'm making a payment of $600 today.
This feels incredibly crazy, cause other bills will come up in a week or two...and the electric bill...god knows how much that will be...will come around the 10th...
We're going to figure it out later, cause today... we take a step closer to a $0 balance on this amazing credit card.
$4300 - 600 = $3700
Huzzah!

Stay on top of the things that you are putting off.
Move the body and spend time with it.
Relax and rejuvenate appropriately. Like really GO ALL IN on this. We have to take care of our soul, desire, ethereal, and physical beingness to allow that flow of support to match us. So ALLOW it for yourself.
** Make the match to the receiving you want to experience!

_____

Tomorrow...
I'm doing some footwork for my sewing business and clearing out little tidbits I could sell, send invoices if needed, and make sure my orders are organized and streamlined for quick creation and out the door shipments.
There's only 10 days left before I go on hiatus and do other things besides 'work'...even if I like it.

We can chat about using your pathways and streamlining potential incomes in Step 4 ;)




_____________________
______________________

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"Debt to Divine: Defeating the Boss, to Becoming the BOSS!"
Step 4


Money helps us reach our goals.
It really doesn't matter if that goal is a bill, a debt, a car, a mate, a pina colada in Maui....
Money is the part that makes it shine and glow. Almost like the lifeforce.
Yeah, we can get there without money sometimes....but you very well know money helps, enriches, enhances, and establishes a whole lot more than just paying for it.

The balance we maintain as we dance with money, have fun with money, play with money, and enjoy money reveals itself in our finances, in our debts, in our incomes, in our spaces of desires and experiences, as well as in our wallets.
When we allow a freedom to permeate through our interactions with money, it flows more, better, stronger, faster...
When we pinch off, grip tightly, stress, create tension, worry our way to a poor mindset with money, it stifles off, it slows, it gets snagged, hindered, stagnant, and we replay stories of how we didn't 'control' it properly....
But it's never about control. It's about co-creation and trust and allowing and movement, and expansion.
Money is an energy.
We play with it...and when we keep it as a friend and not a slave... it keeps coming back, bring more of the same along beside it.

We've talked about our use of our money and staying focused on our goal, allowing a space for it to come to fruition...
Now let's dive into the aspects of the receiving end.
We want money. We often want more of it. We want it to flow continuously and consistently.
There are many pathways/doorways for the money to meet up with us...

The question is...
Are you limiting those pathways to just one or two doorways, or are you open to others?
Are you only looking at the one that paid off before, or are you perfectly fine with opening more doors?
Are you repeating the same tasks and work that gave you money last time, or are you allowing space to receive without conditions?
Do you have to work hard, or perform in a certain way for money to arrive?

When we are stuck in the belief that we must do 'this thing here' to get money...we automatically are telling ourselves that in order to receive money we now MUST do 'this thing here'.
If I don't do this work... I won't get paid....
If I don't show up and work hard and give my time.... I'll never succeed... I'll be broke.
If I don't get a job, any job, I can't afford this or that.
If I don't try harder, I'll never live up to my expectations of wealth.

All untrue by the way.
There are so many people out there creating, earning, receiving money from every which way and they aren't working hard. They aren't struggling to do this or that thing. They aren't trying to meet expectations or some idea of success or worthiness. They aren't even working jobs much of the time. They certainly aren't out there jumping through hoops of the rat race to get ahead.
They aren't waiting for shit, not even a paycheck.
They are who they are and they are creating beliefs that uphold the ideas that support them. That support a wealthy self. That carve a pathway for money to flow to them without them having to meet conditions they do not choose.

So what beliefs and thoughts and actions are you supporting and living?
If you aren't moving into a thriving mindset, an abundant mindset.... why not?
What are you holding onto that is limiting your prospects and expansion?

The physical actions and processes are here to help you learn using the tried and true old way of earning an income. They serve a great purpose!
But once you've had your fill, now what?
Start creating.
You get to make your own path, your own door, your own world.
What's stopping you?

Some start businesses, some start side hustles, do gigs, try a handful of new things that sounds interesting...
Some just put themselves in really good places and reel in the cash...
What are you doing to break through conditions?
What are you creating?


One thing I recently came across was a huge dose of wisdom that kinda removed some heavy blockages in an instant...
It was about us, as people, doing things in order to produce an effect (like make money, make this thing better, etc.)
It was like building this project/work space in the middle of this forest... and we always have to do the hard work of maintaining our project or uphold our idea, to bring in this money... but we always have to keep trimming and cutting back the forest from taking over...
But.... sometimes..... we discover that this thing we are participating with/in... isn't providing what we hoped... and so we step back and let the forest take it over and bury our past venture beneath new saplings and moss, turning it back again into a forest...
But...
WE ARE THE FOREST
We fill our time and focus with these attempts to create to get something... but we already are something. Something greater. And we don't have to trim and cut ourselves back to get us.
We don't have to struggle and fight and claw our way to get the money.
We are the forest. And money does grow on trees.
The fruit. The wood. The mushrooms...
What's in your forest?
What is natural for you?

We'll never know until you let that forest grow back into those places you clear cut down to build your factories of 'making money'.
You'll never know you and what amazing things you already have if you keep cutting yourself away.

Let go, find the natural paths. See what grows easily. See what feels amazing already.
We don't have to create and struggle for freedom and joy.... it already is us.
Just let it grow.

_______________________________


I'm still working on the biz things to finish up and haven't had a chance to get to them yet.
My 10 days till break/hiatus has become 4!!! YAY!
More abundance for me!
I made $295 yesterday. So 30% (about $90) will go to Soul's cash stash.
The rest will have to go to my electric bill this month...

  ***we don't want to push against our path or goal or fight for something...it creates tension and clogs... so step by step and take the steps you need to when the path is clear energetically.

Easy body movements today.
A quiet meditation.
Taco salad for dinner <3
I also picked up a new pair of running shoes cause yesterday's treadmill run has killed my feet.
   and my feet are sensitive AF... my love language with myself is sometimes quality things, no shame, I also paid cash.

How are you taking care of you?

___

Also, I have my business built to support me. I work within the forest and the trees are allowed to grow where they please. I've let it be the operator and me the one decorating it.
I do this Financial Feng Shui work within the forest as well. Writing comes naturally and I'd rather be here than trying to do much else. I'm kinda writing a book right now too, and I have book 7 of my novels almost ready to spill out.
My art is the forest too....and I haven't nearly explored enough for that to be known. Even to me. I have released control of the art ideology I held and am no longer taking commissions, letting the forest reclaim what I carved out. This will heal and then we'll get to know one another again, me and me as we express through 'art'.
 ____


Comment below what you'd like more info on. I'm game. I don't really have steps in order by any means and write as I go... it just happens to flow together like magic, cause that's how I roll.

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"Debt to Divine: Defeating the Boss, to Becoming the BOSS!"
Check in for Step 5!

Goal - check.
Clearing, cleaning, creating space - check.
Getting that energy moving - check.
Equal parts rejuvenation - check.
Taking actions that support and progress toward goal - check.
Opening doors for receiving inwardly and outwardly - check.
Getting your side of the road pristine for your desire - check.
Staying focused - check.

Now manifest the shit out of it.

Use affirmations, magic rocks, oracle cards, your coach, your insightful friends, prayer, magic potions...
Do whatever helps you bring more and more energy to your focus and embodiment.

Feel that desire/goal all the way through from your crown to your root and then surrounding your whole being. Lock onto that emotion of gratitude and fulfillment and carry that baby all damn day as long as you can.
Make it a point to check in with your awareness and thoughts and get your shit straight into an alignment that feels fucking awesome.
Make it a point to kick BS to the curb, even if it's your own BS.

There is not one reason in all the lands why you can't have what you desire.
_____________


I'm calling in $2k and it's friends.
No conditions on where it's coming from. I want it in my hands or in my bank account. Both is even better.
I'm calling in the emotion of WHOO HOO!
I'm calling in the feeling of open relaxed receiving and appreciation and delight.
I'm calling in OOMPH power and divine support.
I love when the Universe responds...and when I respond to myself.
I love getting everything I ask for.
I love getting more than I ask for and better that I could even think of.
I am supported and an open space for receiving.
I am connected to my wealth and all it's translations.
Money travels through my experience all the time and in multiple ways.
I am confident to witness my wealth in real time.
I am free to enjoy and explore with my wealth as I desire.

Let's fucking go!


What are your techniques and processes to reach your goals?

no pic for you

(11/29/21)

"When I mentioned writing a story, I didn't mean for you to 'write' a story....but to write you." The Alchemist says with a quiet smirk.
   He glances over at me, not really correcting my take on his words so much as elaborating just enough to hide his enthusiasm of me actually writing a story. So which is it? Not intending for me to start spilling out the words, or silently watching as they fill the page. He doesn't say anything about it, merely watching, possibly, secretly, thinking that this is a great way to amp up his career ego.
"I don't have an ego." He adds, reading along.
   I want to burst out in laughter. But I also don't want to give him the impression of my disagreement. I stand silent with a smile and look back to the screen.
   This was perhaps a few months ago when this spontaneous endeavor crossed my view. This story of myself. This story of how I fell into the company of The Alchemist and some Universal mix of Source and God and all the things that build worlds and minds and hearts. Taking this long to even dare etch a single letter to a page.
   Perhaps it was a scary thought. More so one of not being worthy enough to handle such a task. Yeah, I've written books, namely a handful of fantasy novels, and a few quick scribbles of self-help propaganda, passion pleas plastered on memes, and blog posts about getting off your ass and stop being a ninny.... but this...this is beyond mere play things. Beyond mere meandering in the shallows. This....this is real. What am I doing here?
   The Alchemist rolls his eyes, completely underwhelmed by my thoughts of being some worthless twat that can't write a sentence in correct grammar, much less the way others could comprehend. Could I even put commas and punctuation in their correct places? And even if I could, or couldn't, there's this huge fact beyond facts that I don't care to. And then what? What then? Me writing the story of the Aethers and the Universe....and her goons.
"Careful with those words." He mentions.
   I recognize that the Universe can in fact read. And also the fact that I would very well be calling myself whatever it is I'm projecting on this page. Should I even go back to to correct that, or leave it?
   Ahh, yes...but I've already adopted the phrase of not 'should-ing' on myself. So it will remain untouched.
   There's a value to the eyes about seeing what has come and what is now arisen. This facet of how a then and now could be years apart, or a sentence apart. I sink, loving this truth for myself.
   The Alchemist looks over at me, me and my swooning over a little thought. He's intrigued and raises his chin a tad to get my attention. I glance his way, awaiting whatever it is he is bound to say.
"This is why. This will be why." He gives a slight nod, adding in a few more bouncy assured nods that follow.
   Even now, before the page is full does he instantly like this path more and more. This writing. Having found something for me...something in me, as it bares itself outward. And I may have felt trapped in this aspect yesterday...or the whole months before when this idea even first visited...but now... now that it has already begun... I feel that the water is warm, the sun is rising... and I... will walk hand in hand with this journey. Accepting of it's pull, like the flow of a river.


That all is an excerpt from this book thing I'm writing.
I just started...sooo... give me all of next year. It's on-going apparently. And I'm excited that next year I get to start book 7 of Angel of MidKnight!!! I'm so happy about that!

______________________________


Drag of a day. Today on the 30th, last day of the month.
Not the day, but my energy. Just blah....even if I'm working and have things I could do.
Just blah.

hehe...I just realized why...

_______________________________
_______________________________________________

It's December 1st! YAY!

and I just want to thank Neptune for going prograde.
I am so excited and happy and just fucking glorious!

Every time I yawn or hiccup I hear a tone in my ear. I don't know what it sounds like, but it's a higher frequency than my singing bowl...I think... I need to check I guess, haha

Waiting on carpet...
but my treadmill will be here tomorrow. I was kinda hoping it wouldn't get here til next week... but hey... whatevs! It's ALL FUCKING GOOD! YO!

Sewing orders, one in process...well technically 2...
More on the way and everything to be completed by Dec 15th...then I play until I decide to prep some new design lines.... yes, that whole idea again, cause I have got to get my ass away from making appliques all the fucking time!

Imma go!
peace

Shopping trips on the way to goodness

Treadmill with a brand name and a screen that's not the small one... plus shipping and taxes and ifit...
$1900 something... I may have to get a set of dumbells too $200
Linen bedsheet sets that are the most gorgeous colors in all the lands...
$750 something
Ikea storage cabinets and bookcase...
$1200 I don't know how much taxes and shipping are cause I haven't clicked 'check out'
Carpet and linoleum for the big room...
$800 ish or so. This is a guess
A cordless saw because we use the fuck outta these things...
$120 we already have batteries, huzzah!

everything else I can get off Amazon is free, I have $300 of Amazon points/cash to use.
Here's to using my card over the year *cheers!

welcome to $5000 not even Christmas can catch me

So...

Tile up
Tile down and cut
Tile glued
Tile grout and sealed/pick up linoleum/order carpet
Linoleum down
Wall and stuff out
Carpet down
Treadmill, cabinets, tv up.
Cabinets filled/get rid of excess

and I have sewing orders showing up sometime or another

Let's fucking DO THIS!

Also....
AZ card paid off
God bless you Paypal for buying shit for me and me paying you later and you don't cost me anything extra to use and I can throw my cash in crypto.... and make money!

____________________

It's been two handfuls of hours and change of plans....
linoleum first, then carpet... then cabinets...

It ended up being a treadmill AND weights
...a circular saw AND an automatic staple gun... cause hands <3

the sheets are in my cart and I'm waiting for the coupon that hits tomorrow

scratch that... Australia is already tomorrow... ha!
I just have to wait to get them in.
all good


_____
hmmm...
'none of it is my energy'

I was looking to get the cabinets... but was feeling shaky energy...
but I found the coupon code for black friday and was gonna order them...
but found out they won't ship to me...
and they are out of stock at the closest store...
and they won't ship to store...

It wasn't me and my energy that was causing anything...
it was me receiving and picking up on the energy of 'it'...
I'm the vessel
I'm the receiver... the space, the holder, the receiver, the decipherer of what the 'other thing' is channeling.
WOW!

______

.


I swear I don't usually just spend money like it grows on trees...  (I can do what I want)
anyway.... hitting up the home depot and key's carpet place Friday
laying that linoleum Saturday

I don't know when my sewing order material will get here, but that is gonna pay for this project...
and that needs sewn up by Dec 12th... I think it's like 8 dresses...


ok, getting off of here... laters!

Advice 101 - Meditation and thought clearing.

 Heya!
Always feel free to take what resonates and discard the rest, or tweak it til you can feel it move something for you. Nothing is ever set in stone, not even stone itself.

I find it good to first clear, then organize, then make changes and rewrite/invite the new in.

While you can go as far as erasing all your past, your past thoughts, your past experiences to have a clear slate, sometimes it's not for everyone. I offer to start clearing where you are feeling the most struggle for now.
Look inwardly to refocus on the patterns and beliefs and behaviors you find yourself reliving day by day. Those that don't bring you any peace or joy, but have become habits, things you fall back to fill your time, or do to avoid other things, or emotions you find repeating that you no longer want to experience.
This can be simple things like turning on the tv or scrolling social media just so you don't look at yourself or your emotions or your situation in general. (Not saying vegging out on a series or game or tik tok is a bad thing, but it has to be a conscious choice to engage with it, not just a unconscious habit).
It can also come up as not being able to sit still, not being able to handle silence for very long, or constantly looking for external things or tasks to cover up just 'being'.
Some can do meditation and get past these types of issues, some do arts/music/etc... Everyone is different and different things work better for some than others. Meditation is easier to quiet your thoughts and enter a space of just being as you are going to be aware of it more so than if you are painting a picture or playing a song. Some don't like that or claim they can't and then always have to have the stimuli from elsewhere.
With clearing, it's about recognizing what thoughts or behaviors you do not want to see yourself doing again. Emotions you don't want to fall right back into because of A, B, or C.
When you begin to recognize those patterns, that is when you can change them. No one can do it before they see them, but once you do...that's an open door to clear them our and change them to what you do want.
This is easier once you can 'just be' for at least 15 minutes per day. Morning, afternoon, evening...it doesn't really matter. Do the 15 minutes to just sit and be with yourself. Watch your thoughts do that thought thing, feel what comes up, recognize things you no longer want.
When you catch one. Call it out. Speak it out.  (When we give it physicality, we can change it faster)

"Those thoughts are not beneficial to who I want to be."
"I am open to receiving support and abundance."
"I I know what is for me will come to me, no matter if I do something or not."
"I am allowed to feel safe, secure, and joyful."
"I am worthy of having, receiving, creating, and spending money."
"I am a safe space for all my needs and desires to come."

Use whatever words resonate with you. Lean more toward the issues you are wanting to change.
If it's about health, focus on words that feel uplifting in that area. Same with money, support, abundance, connection, etc.
You'll know when you hit the right spot, you'll feel your emotions wring around something.
When that happens, sit with that and allow those emotions to be seen as you keep soothing it with the words that support that opening.

It's like having your inner child hiding in a dark corner. And that inner child is the one struggling with the big things. And you merely need to be the awareness that can allow that child to have a safe space to be seen, heard, felt, and acknowledged....then allowed...then loved.
Often an emotion is stuck in a certain spot in our body, and we can talk to it and coax it out of it's hiding spot with allowing, understanding, and shining a light on that shadow. It too will emerge when we give it enough space and patience...and then once you can see and hear it...give it love. IT WILL TRANSMUTE and leave.

So clear out whatever is coming up as soon as you see it, or when you have a moment to 'just be' with whatever thoughts you are no longer wanting to carry.
When you say, "I'm broke. I can't pay that."
Catch it. Correct it.
"Actually, I'm open to all sorts of money. I'm secure in knowing that everything works out."

When you catch a thought that says "My boss never gives me a break."
Catch it, correct it.
"My boss does his thing, and I am not defined by anything he says. I do my job well. I will have plenty time to rest."

Even one step better is better than no step at all.
You may not want to say "I am the richest dude in town!" cause your beliefs behind that will not let you skip 500 steps in one jump. But you can move one step or a few steps at a time.
"I'm pretty good at making my money go far. I'm getting better every day."
"I love having extra money in my wallet. And in my car....and in my bank. Where else could I put extra money?!"

Your energy creates your reality. So make sure you aren't repeating sluggish, limiting patterns, thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.

___________________________

Once you get pretty clear on clearing....
Move to organizing the thoughts that do support you into which ones feel better and which ones are just 'meh'. Give the best ones the most of your time. Do another 15 minutes. Feel the good ones, over and over. Repeat and choose which ones feel as uplifting as you can go. Make an effort to know what you like and what you don't.   (There are soooo many who don't know themselves! And unless you know yourself, at least a little about what you DO like, you can't move forward toward something if you don't even know what that even is!)

Then change and tweak and add in some things that are the next steps for you.
"My past is not going to tell me my future. I have decided that I will _____."
"I will love myself through the hard times and forgive them all....and I will step forward toward _____."
"Money used to be a struggle, but I choose to have this kind of relationship with it now _______."
"I may remember when I felt defeated, but I also remember that I can choose to _______."

Whatever words and sentences and such that confirm your new choices for you.
Ones that feel uplifting, supportive, and are just a few steps away (not a huge jump into millionaire kingdom, even though sometimes that's fun to revel in.)


I also want to invite you to check out some of Kyle Cease's work. He has some youtube video's out there. (newer ones)....
He has a thing where you write out your future as if you already lived it.... like "I remember how in December of 2021 _______________all this great stuff happened... etc etc....   "
It really feels weird to do, but it opens up your walls around beliefs a bit and you can project yourself forward past whatever issues you are struggling with today....and clarify a bit about where you do want to go and what you do want to experience. I don't always do this, but when I did, many of the things I had written happened....so it's like a vision board in the future/past... lol.
It's called 'kylego' so maybe you can do a vid search for it to explain better than I did.


Don't let one more shit thought pass by you without being called out.
Don't let one more repeated unconscious behavior or pattern play out without you being the director of it with intention.
Don't let one more emotion go unfelt or covered up for very long. (I know we can't always deal with it in the moment, but we can revisit it soon to fully let it be seen and moved up and out.)
I use the chakra system to move stuck energies through meditation, so if you are able to feel emotions stuck in certain areas of your body, I have a few meditations I can send you if you'd like.
Take serious time (even if it's just that 15 minutes) to do the work. There are thousands of layers and while we don't all have to go through them all, it's great when you find one that works and clears for you. Sometimes one step is actually 100, and sometimes one step is just 1....but it's all worth it.

You got this.
You've got support everyfuckingwhere!
I know you are a thriver, and you get to enjoy life, not just live it.
You should move somewhere warm, lol. Alaska is too cold and grumpy....but you can be the happiest mthfckr there when you decide that's who you are. <3


_______________________________________________
___________________________________________________


just wrote this out for someone this morning I didn't get too deep into it, but it's a quick general guide. Enjoy! -----
If you're new to meditating, no worries, just take 15 minutes or so to be with yourself. Somewhere quiet and undisturbed/undistracted. Sit comfortably, in a chair is perfectly fine. Close your eyes and give a few moments to just relax your body. Sink into the chair releasing bodily tension.
If you have thoughts racing through your mind, just let them, don't grasp into them and try to stop them, just let them race through, like you're watching and not controlling their flow.
The more allowing you can be for them, the more they will fade out. Sometimes it takes a few meditations if you have lots of racing thoughts, all good.
When working with inner emotions and blockages, we are merely just falling into allowing.
Give your attention to parts of your body.
If you are familiar with chakras, those will be the main areas to bring attention to one at a time. (Root, lower abdomen, upper abdomen, heart, throat, center of your head, and slightly above your head)
When you slowly bring your awareness to one of these areas, we are just going to feel what's moving here.
Like focusing on your heart area. How does the energy here feel? Is it heavy or light? Is it tense or relaxed? Is there a big emotion coming up as you focus here? If it is light/relaxed/at ease, we simply give an appreciation for this area and move to the next.
If something feels heavy here, like tense or emotionally shaky, this is an area we want to give more attention.
We are witnessing the flow of energy through us. So give attention to the area and then allow it. We aren't trying to control it or make it stop or angry it feels crappy. Just witnessing, allowing it to be seen, to be felt, to be heard, to have space. We are opening ourselves up to allow this energy to move.
The more we give our attention here with just love, the more that energy will shift and move. This could be a specific thought of 'not being worthy', or 'guilt', or 'sorrow'.
We are just opening a space up for it to be allowed within us. No judgement, no blame, no trying to cover it or bury it beneath other things. Give it your full loving attention and let it do whatever it wants to do.
Your consciousness on this lower vibrational energy will cause it's energy vibration to raise.
You have to allow it space, love, allowing. Similar to a scared child hiding in the corner, you have to give love and assurance that it is seen, heard, allowed, loved. Once you begin to feel this stuck energy shifting, you can add more love and open space for it to move upwards.
Once you bring it high enough, you can carry it through your heart center with full unconditional love and it will heal/leave/change for the better.
I often use words to coax some stuck areas out.
"I see you, I feel you, I hear you."
"You are welcome here."
"This is a safe space for you."
"You are allowed here."
"There is great love for you here."
"You are safe with me, within me."
"This is a big enough space for all of you."
"I allow you, I love you."
Whatever words of soothing that gets it to move. You'll know when you strike a cord and it shifts by something you say. This process can be used for past traumas, old beliefs, fears, racing thoughts, stuck emotions, situations that have happened, worries, almost anything!
You're just being the space they move through and not the one who has to 'deal' with them.
When something comes up where you are angry or frustrated about something, this process can be used there too. It's giving your awareness and time and attention to the energy you received and working with it to raise it's vibration, move it through you fully, and then completely heal it by loving it, allowing it, and it's energy becoming transformed through your heart center.
There are layers, so if you do it once and you feel relief, it's normal to have a deeper layer come up later, so just work with the process again each time.
Give this 15-30 minutes a day. You will often feel results within a few days, if not immediately.
As a practice, it will strengthen your focus overall and allow you to shift all sorts of chaos in your life into a state of relaxed, calm bliss.

Love Like This

 I just met Christ.
But this time...
it was me.

And as far as epiphanies go...
the world dissolved into a perfect union of clarity
and to know, if only for a moment....
the meanings, the workings, the desires of all truths...
It was this moment.

Something akin to that first meeting...
and the second...
and the third...

and there is only familiar embodiment of essence...

and
it was me.

The Universe... the all that is...
Christ if you must give such a name...

She was me...
and we are...
these both parts of us.

and
hallelujah

________________________________

The Alchemist sits behind me, watching.
Having been remaining silent these past days, perhaps weeks...
his tears did not go unnoticed or excluded from my observations,
my heart.
This Alchemist.

And there are not words to give meanings or explanations of this ... encapsulation... of something that I won't even dare to toss far failing words at...

there is only her
me

______________________________

twixt
the only word trying to come through right now...

it means the in between....
Old English betweox "between, in the space that separates, among, amidst, meanwhile," from bi- "by" (see by) + tweox "for two," from Proto-Germanic *twa "two" (from PIE root.

like the barzahk

like the riddle long left to dwindle without a solution....
but it races to the front of my mind...
when asking what was I supposed to do...
"Whatever it is that divides the world between you."

and I hold strongly when Christ speaks in my dreams, or visions, or whatever they define as...

and this ...
the hero, the villain, the journey...
this mmmm...
word failings for something beyond...

______________________________



The sun was rising.
This sacred morning of meeting god.

and it's dark here, beyond the window of these physical eyes...
yet, illuminated...through and through...


___________
Remember when in the Matrix first movie when Tank was talking to Neo about being the One....
and he was like "Mmmph! Very exciting time!..or something to the effect...
His expression... but more so....x100
that's all I got for close as we are able to get...

...
...
...

I love you.

You hate me cause you ain't me.

I'm giving up gardening for the means to grow food.
But I do like flowers... and I think I could become a master at greenbeans... so we'll see how it goes.
I managed a few cantaloupes this year that were really good too.
Fuck everything else except zucchini and asparagus which grew themselves.

I'm having a conflict of interest today. This sewing gig...
Like the shot of death strolled past today and I've been blinded from the 'why'.
I couldn't buy even 1 share of Tesla and I've got work still needing done.
Imma sew this 'ground' on this dress...and then do something else.
Like manifest a fuckton of money so it will suffocate the why of sewing.
and then buy shares of whateverthefuck I want.

Invoke, evoke that WILL and just make it so.
It's easier.

________________________

I'm in the middle of an upgrade or channel shift.
closer to the end of it...
things got static-y and whacked up...and now things are settling again.
still fuzzy, but it's clearing.

Good. Ready for some fun. Whatever that means.
The Alchemist has been lingering off to the side, quietly. Just waiting this shift out mostly.
He doesn't even try to make an effort to communicate when I can't hear clearly.
But it's becoming into something broader, expansive...something... idk, just pulling words.

things just are
and I am


___________________________


speaking of...

Some old energies came up last night that I actively transmuted...
things I didn't think were such a big deal, but my nervous system still believed they were...
so we handled those...
I can't seem to activate them today, so I'm guessing they've been cleared..
we'll see, eh

The Alchemist just prodded me to deal with them now and not analyze why they were popping up all of a sudden...so I did.
It's certainly part of the upgrade process...and that, even if it was a small thing to my mind, needed to be left behind us. All good.
I'm a bit crabby too....so I'm going to include this symptom as an ascension thing too. Why not.
Could be because it's Scorpio season too... who knows...

And I can already foretell of some things that will be cut off, cut out...and significantly changed in the near future... nothing physical...but I'm sure there's things...
I'm fine with that. Let's do this.
___________
seriously though, going to finish this thing, listen to some Joe Dispenza and go veg out on tik tok.
peace and chaos

I can't write without a topic apparently

 It's been over a month since I wrote a real blog post.
And even now, I'm learning neuroscience and watching some of Joe Dispenza's stuff.

Let's get this shit out of the way...
Still sewing, have 1 dress right now and 2 on the way to be made.
have 3 still on order sometime...
Visiting fam in a few weeks.
Have lots of yard work to do, but back is not having it right now.
Writing stuff for FFS

just did this.. https://www.patreon.com/JenniferCoots

art... it's there... finished those star wars ones and the Vegeta/Piccolo ones...
and nothing since... there's 'plans'...but that doesn't mean shit

I have a book to write still
2 of them...but one's not til next year
I will start this... I will..
Lots of things to do or get done...and yeah...

all else good.

______________________

The Alchemist was a kid last time we chatted.
So maybe he's finally opening up his inner child, haha
That was interesting and highly unexpected.
He certainly smiled a bit more... as in... smiled period... a lot
whaaatt...

I have not one idea on anything about any of it. Just moving along.

___

I have a meditation to do...but I wanna finish this.
I just realized I have like $600 coming my way.
Like...of course I do.
But surprise! Money!
I love money! Money loves me!
We are best buds.

There's a canvas in front of me, but I ain't got no clue what to do with it yet.

so this is fantastic... I want to finish this, but I don't want to write nothing...and I want to do the meditation video...so...shit...
I gotta go...
cause I know what's best for me

I'll be back, probably tomorrow.

I also just initiated an abundance activation challenge in my Financial Feng Shui group ...
so this will be fun!... or it will pay off really well anyway!
Mercury going direct and all.
Yes, you get to use astrology to your advantage.
No shame.

laters._____________

__________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________

FFS stuff - credit game

The Credit Card Game - Part I - Basics

This juicy game.
It's using someone else's money to buy or pay for something and paying them back later.
Sometimes you have to pay them back what you borrowed, plus interest for the time it took you to pay it back.
Sometimes they charge you a fee to even use their card. Usually once a year.
If you are using it for a balance transfer, they will charge a transfer fee which is around 3-5% of the balance transfer.
Many times you get benefits and/or extra cool things for using their card. Cash back, airline miles, free stuff at the corresponding store, discounts, waived interest fees, special coupons, etc.

Most everything is plain and simple and laid out. There's really no confusing factors about how your card works and what they expect from you, and what you expect from them. Simple, because the more people who understand, the more customers they get! User friendly is the name of the game!

They set you up with a credit limit, often based on the income level you provided them when you signed up or applied for the card. If you bring in $10k yr....you most likely will be declined. If you say $30k, your credit limit often ranges around $1k-5k, higher income levels get approved for higher credit limits.
They don't want customers to default and not pay their bills, so they want reputable people.
They will do a credit check which includes looking at your past loans/balances/financial performance.
This helps them determine if you are trustworthy for them to give you credit.

If you already have high balances or were late on any credit reporting loan, card, or mortgage, you often will be declined. They don't want to offer more credit to someone who isn't financially prepared to handle more.
   ***  If you are already behind - this is when you work on repairing your credit IF you intend to use this system in the future. Most negative hits of being late will fade from your report in 2 years. If you have a default it stays until it's paid and/or cleared. (Even if it was a false or fraudulent charge! Your attorneys are slow, so don't hope it will be fixed overnight, but certainly get on the ball about having it removed.)
--- You can see your own credit report for FREE (even without sharing any payment info many sites ask for)  -- I have used  -- Annualcreditreport.com -- it is free and they don't ask for money or pay info.

____
Once you begin to use your credit, it starts to build a report that gives creditors information on whether you are handling your credit wisely. If you get a card and never use it, they don't care about you. If you use it and pay it off all the time, you are one of their favorite people....even if you never have to pay them interest fees. They still want you as a customer.

Remember, the companies aren't all out to get interest and charges and people paying them. (Yes, they are) but they also need reputable customers to pay on time so they have circulating use/supply/base.
Even those who pay on time every time will occasionally need to pay interest for a month or two. No big deal.
The more savvy you are at being responsible, the more they 'care' about you, and they often won't hesitate to offer you more credit. So your $3k card is now $5k, and 6 months later it might be $8k
...and a year later if all else looks good, they could up you to $12k if your income is in line with that.

You'll also get about 10 other offers in the mail every week.
The trick is to ignore them.

*** Only use the card(s) that you are enjoying. That are easy to work with. That have some sense of friendly customer support, and has the benefits you are benefiting from.
              (My favs are Citi (they have offered me higher credit limits, and always offer balance transfers for 0% for 18mo or more) and Bank of America (cause they will send cash to my bank account with a balance transfer and not only to a company/loan/card like most everyone else.)
            
If you pay for a cruise with your Old Navy card, be prepared to have $300 in Old Navy bucks....which is great until you don't need any more damn clothes.
If you spend $500 on your Lowe's card for a new water heater, they aren't going to be nice and send you a coupon or give you anything but 5% off or 6mo no interest... lame.
If you paid for that same water heater with your Amazon Prime card, you'd get about $50 or so in Amazon cash.... so technically it's a better deal if you plan to pay it off before interest hits.

Be aware of what they are charging you! Some companies charge upwards of 29% interest! OUCH!
  Better to choke on a log.
Some are only 12%, so that's at least better if you have to carry a balance for a few months before you can pay it off.
Capitol One once had a card that was 0% for 3 months on all purchases....that was a great thing until they closed that program down. (They are my least favorite company, fyi)

So know what you are using, who you are playing with, what they are getting out of you, what you are getting out of the deal, and make sure you are playing the game with sensibility, and not doing it 'because you have to'.
Close cards that feel like shit or treat you like shit.
Hold onto those that feel light and free and are easily supported by your income level.
   ** If you have 5 cards with $30k in credit and you only make $20k yr.... and you struggle to maintain your finances, it's better to cut those back to half $10-15k so you don't dig yourself in a hole you may carry for decades. I'm not even joking. Credit card companies are not your mortgage or marriage! They are more like romantic flings. Use them when you need, get your benefits, and then make them to sit and wait until next time.

The credit card companies are only you're friend, until you're not. If you fuck up, they know about it.
If you're late on a payment, they know about it. If you are late twice or over extend your credit, they will cut you.
They may give you grace the first time, cause sometimes you thought the payment went through, but it didn't....and it does happen.... but once you get 'marked' as a repeat offender...game over.

_________________________________


__________________________________________

The Credit Card Game - Part II - Debt and it's Dog

Some of us have debt.
Sometimes it is things we can handle, sometimes, not so much.
Often times it takes forever to get cleared.
Other times, it doesn't move, or it moves higher.

This doesn't mean anyone is out there buying $8000 dining tables and eating off sterling silver plates.
It could, but the majority of those who carry debt is because their income rarely catches up to their needs.
Many times it could simply be the car insurance, the health insurance, the tires you had to buy because you have children and a bald tires are fucking dangerous. Things you got to have or you're leaving the door open for possibly worse things.
THIS is why noone should ever judge someone else's story about money or debt.

No matter how we got it...it's all about the now. Now it's here, let's handle it.

Throw it out there on the table. Know what it is, how much it is, how much you have to pay every month, the interest rate, or when the interest rate will hit, and the invoice dates.
Easy, just look at it. Not always enjoyable, but we have to know what we are dealing with.

* There's the whole tried method of looking at it all, estimating your income and debts, and doing it the mathematical way.
Must pays first. Housing, food, car, gas, utilities.
Then the other shit, in order of importance. Blah blah blah...
But often the energy doing it that way carries the energy of trying to stretch funds, lack, struggle, worry, overwhelm, more lack, sadness, no freedom, and not taking one fucking look at yourself or who you fucking are.
Let's put all the energy into this crap thing and hope it goes away, gets fixed, or feels better....
Please.
How many times have you done this?
Sometimes it does work, it does make 'sense', it can be an easy fix....
every other time...it never really is. It just proves to you that you still have things you don't want.

Try throwing you all on the table instead.
This debt here...helped me replace the water heater. We have hot water. I like hot showers and clean dishes. This debt put new tires on the car. My children ride in that car. I get to work in that car.
These things helped me. I'm appreciative of the needs being met when I needed them.
I get to pay the house payment. I love having a warm safe place to live.
The electricity is da bomb, how useful can it get!
Full tank of gas, cause we are blessed.
Food for my family. Don't tell anyone, but I kinda like spaghetti night the best. Oh wait...homemade tacos, nevermind.
I really want to pay the Amazon card first, cause they are my favorite card...and I already have $300 in amazon cash stored up to use for Christmas shopping....and I like not having to worry about the holidays and keeping up with the Kardashians. Actually, I really appreciate the boxes I get from my shipments too....the kids and the cats always liked them best anyways. We could make an elf house!
Oh yeah...that card I had to put my car insurance on, I can't pay it all off, but I will make the minimum. I'm glad I had it when I needed it. I might even add an extra $10...
I know I should put some back to save...and there's not much left...but I know that it'll be there whenever I may need it. It is safe to store anywhere I please, even in the checking account or in my pocket.
My check will be smaller next month, what are we.... ... no... actually, I can handle everyfuckingthing that comes up, whenever it comes up. Being in the place we are right now, feels good, so right now is good. I will stay here.
Feeling cute, might even pick up a chocolate shake later.

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The point is... if you constantly find yourself in the energy of shit over debt or money....
you become the dog of the system.
The dog does what the master says.
The dog looks to the master for it's needs.
The dog is afraid to make the master angry and often times works for the master to make them happy.

But you are the one in control!
You are the master.
That credit should be pleasing you to have the credit to even use.
Those debts should be relevant in having a hand in benefiting you.
No matter what pricetags are attached, you have complete control over the emotions and energy you reflect from them.
You can move one shitty feeling over the debt into a feeling of appreciation or at least calmness.
You can take control of all your energy. Your thoughts and emotions...
And you can step back from the cage and see yourself as the keymaster.

*** Listen up.... there's no excuses here about choosing to feel like shit every time you look at money.
 (((((In my personal experience, we had an injury to the breadwinner, an eventually the loss of the job, we were without a real income for 2 years. 2 YEARS, yo! We used those fucking credit cards like eating Doritos.
We went on government assistance, we borrowed from family for the mortgage because Well Fargo, no matter what shit they tell you, will NOT help you out. We maintained what normalcy we could for the kids, we kept them in their activities, although less of them. I tried to take on a 'job'...like 3 times... and quit relatively soon after because they were costing us more financially and emotionally to keep them.
We still paid everyfuckingthing and racked up some wonderous incredible amount of credit card debt and family debt too... it was like holiday lights on a tree...20 strands...at least...very pretty and a bit blinding....probably a huge fire hazard too.
But what broke through was just letting go of the struggle and allowing the flow.
I even got fed up oneday and booked a trip for a 'fuck this bullshit' vacation. Paid the minimum downpayment with a credit card.
Cause I wasn't going to feel fucking bad for any of it. IT was shitty but I wasn't going to be.
We just let all the the shitshow happen and then it fixed itself when we fixed ourselves. Money came in 2 months before that vacation. We cleared the main debts and caught up on things that had to go by the wayside.
We still have some debt though. We still owe family. But everything is without interest.
I could have paid it off with those stimulus checks last year...but I started to invest instead....cause it felt better. I made the money back twice since then in stocks/crypto alone...and although I still haven't decided to just pay off the debts (they are still 0% interest mind you so they aren't costing me anything to carry)... I could. There's not one fucking thing that I can trust besides myself and how I feel about it all.
The world can go to shit tomorrow and forever and I(we) will still be A-okay and probably bring in twice as much income....cause when the economy crashes, we actually do better...it's weird, idk exactly how that works out. Maybe because we work outside the system.

That system is my dog. I tell it when to bring me the quarry. I tell it what benefits I need and use it accordingly. If I need a plane ticket, I know which card to use to pay my car insurance, so I can get a free ticket. I use Amazon card all the time to even pay my electric bill...cause like I mentioned... now gifts for the holidays are paid for....or if I decide to buy books, or art supplies, or flea meds for the pets... paid for, because I use the benefits...and those companies don't benefit off of me....unless I carry a balance...and even if I did, it's about 12% interest rate.

You've got to step out of the lower victimization realm and take a stand.
Stand for yourself and who you are.
Choose with a conscious aware understanding and walk.
Debt may be heavyAF at times, but it is NOTHING compared to YOU and YOUR ENERGY

Look at it, check yourself inwardly, and take actions that FEEL LIKE A BADASS CEO of system operations.
Don't let it tell you how to feel.
You tell it how you're going to feel and then move from THAT space.
Make space for things you desire to come into your life. Clear space. Clean up your shit thoughts.
DO the work on the pdf files in the course I have posted. OWN it. Follow through.
You'll never know what's possible if you fall short on even one step, on even one journal prompt.
No excuses. Those who are masters and CEO's do not make excuses, they make moves. And they move according to their energy. And they keep that energy clear and filled with all the good things, the good thoughts, the good emotions...and yeah..... 'you can't just sit back and smile your way out of debt'. But you can walk through it with it on a leash, and you giving the commands.
If you are having anxiety and fear....that travels through the leash and gives your dog anxiety and fear. I mean haven't you seen those dog training shows. Even they teach that.

I could go on.... but you gotta do this work.
You have to step into it with more than your fears and lack.
No one can just tell you stuff and it fix everything. Only your presence in your life and energy can truly make any difference. So change your energy into something more and move with actions that carry that energy. Know, appreciate, trust, fill it with love and joy and ease, and effortlessness....and if you want to just manifest $100k.... get on it. Cause it will never come with you still looking at the shitshow and feeling how the shitshow tells you to feel....or you doing the same old things the same old ways.
I fucking believe in you and know you can do this and you can make debt your bitch.


My rant for the day. I cussed a lot in this one, apologies.
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Want a crash course into debt? (...more like a wrecking ball... and you'll still need to clean it up...)
Drop into my inbox. I'm always happy to kick the system to the curb and you back in the driver's seat.
I'm not offering a sales pitch or going to send you some fucking sheet of my 'pricing'. Fuck that. This is an open door policy. Take what serves, give what serves.
I want to see you thrive and BE ALL OF WHO YOU ARE regardless of anything the system, the money, the world, the economy, the covid....can present up as a challenge.


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The Credit Card Game - Part III - Become the GameMaster.

Actions and some steps you could take regarding debt.
This is if Dave Ramsey's way has failed you.
This is if your tried and true way you learned isn't working.
This is if the snowball method or the bulk method isn't budging the debt.
This is if you are so fucking done.

You know how much already, how much debt is costing you.
You know how much the system is feeding off of you and your energy.
So let's fuck it up. Throw it into confusion and create doors through the cage.
______________

Interest is the siphoning tool they use to suck your energy.
Know who you're paying interest to and how much they are taking.
We want to cut the heads off of that first and foremost.

Balance transfers are a huge tool in defeating the high interest charges.
   (If you plan to apply for a mortgage or big bank loan in the next year or two, don't do this process)
This depends if you have a card already that has an offer available, or if you are able to open up another account that has an offer available.
You literately can google, 'best balance transfer cards' and pick the one that looks favorable.
(I recommend any Citi card or if you have a local credit union that has card offers. Discover often only provides a low limit, and Capitol One will only offer you the one transfer and then never again, in my experience anyway.)
This doubles as a bonus if you have a spouse and they can apply too, AND you are both okay to share in the financial burdens of one another. I know many keep yourself separate from your spouse, and that's okay if you are going it alone. Do your thing.
* Also, this only usually works if you have okay credit or better. If you were already late or behind on payments to any creditor, this process will not work. They will not approve you to open another account. So if you have negative hits on your report, don't bother.

If you get approved, move your highest interest debts to this card. Pay off the ones costing you. Even if it's only one other debt, or 4.
0% is better than any other percentage.
There will be a fee of 3-5% of the transfer and that is fine if you couldn't pay it off in a few months anyway.
So everything past 2 months is interest free and now you've given yourself some breathing room for maybe 12 months.
** Don't take extra cash, or 'hold onto' the excess, or even ever plan to use the actual card for anything.
When the actual card comes in the mail, put it away in a drawer. You CAN NOT use it. It is only for holding and paying off the transfer debt.
If you use it, now your new purchases will rack up interest! Cut it up if you have to.
You will still at least pay the minimum.... and if you are serious, you will pay the minimum plus rounding up to the nearest $100 or $500, whatever you can rightfully afford.
DO NOT let any of these debts or companies pull energy from the energy you have to give yourself first. There are no regulators on debt, just you, so set boundaries and healthy intentions.

Some people go the debt consolidation route.
I'm going to recommend against this too.
They help sometimes, I guess.... but those companies charge interest too.
And they don't take away your credit cards....so guess what... now that they don't have a balance...and you're payments are a bit less... you live in this space of having more breathing room for a short time..
and then... something pops up and there's a credit card right here...wow....
Please don't.
If you can't do this yourself, every time and be fully responsible...
how are you going to incorporate and learn....and then be able to handle it forever?
Don't let someone else save you and you not know how to escape if it ever happens again.

I'm not saying sometimes bankruptcy isn't the answer (sometimes it can be)
but when you are IN the process and work... you learn a fuck ton of skills and organization and all the things that will strengthen and support you forever.
You don't help a butterfly out of their cocoon... they will die... and for those in debt, they will often suffer the same situations again and again.

_________

Loans....
There's something about asking for a loan from a person, like a bank loan officer, or even family.
There's a keg of perception and judgement all over it. Good or bad.
Unless you've got family with money and is really awesome and supportive to loan you money, and you have great communication about repayment and follow through trust... you ask the bank man. And the bank man can only go by what he sees on paper....on your credit report.
And you'll know if the words start with 'I have something I can offer you.' in a vibrant mood versus 'There seems to be a lot of ___ or ___ on your credit.' doubtful mood...
If the bank man's energy is dull... that's probably not a good sign about what they can offer you, if anything. Interest is not your friend, even if it's the bank man and not a credit company.

29% interest down to 23% interest might save you $100 a month, but it's a joke... and the system is still playing you. Don't fall for the crumbs on the floor.
If you aren't eating at the table, then don't agree to anything that doesn't feel relieving and refreshing.
29% down to 10% might be more up your alley if you are feeling free about it.

*Keep the 30% rule.
    30% of your money goes to you FIRST.
   Then handle your needs.
   Then your bills.
   Then your debts.

You're interest should drop down to only 30% of what it was if you are holding true to this standard.

Soul will have your back if you carry this standard throughout everything.
It's a really scary thing to attempt at first, but do it for a handful of weeks and the world will drop to your feet.
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Maybe you already have shit credit and are locked out.
No worries.

If it's huge debt and you are ready to let go of everything. Look into bankruptcy.
No shame or guilt here. Sometimes if your income disappears overnight, you can't always keep the things you had.
You could sell out and make the money to pay your debtors yourself, or you can get the other people all up in your business to do it for you. (Whereas you no longer have control)
Both are okay. Do what you need to do.
Nothing in life is worth stressing over, especially regarding money or finances or the shit you have.
Relieve yourself, your family, your health from turmoil if things are beyond your control.
The system is there to use when you need to.
Don't let the bank take your house without first trying to sell it or contract out the loan. There are people able and willing to take over payments and hand you some upfront cash to keep the bank's hands off the property.
There are ways to cull your debt in an instant if you are in collections. Usually bargaining for a bulk payment for less than what you owe. You have to call them. You can also set up where you only pay $20mo to them. You get to call the shots about that no matter what they tell you, don't let them. You have complete control regarding the pay back of debts. However you can't just decide 'not to'.

Sometimes you can cut back, even significantly. But no one can hold that energy of cutting back forever. Have a plan and a deadline. Don't mistreat yourself or deny yourself basic joys in life.
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Here's the google tips for 'saving money' (a.k.a. bullshit + commentary)
Cut the things you don't need.
   (I always find this weird advice, because I don't have much I can even cut out of my own life. Maybe 3 things, and that's only maybe $60 max.... sooo... I guess this is more for those who still pay for cable and the newspaper and wasteful spending.)

Find a cheaper car insurance.
   (I have a young adult driving and 3 people/cars... there is nothing cheaper. And my insurance company has to have the cars and the house bundled...and no one else will accept the house because the roof is too old...fuckers...like we all can just put a new roof on our house overnight... I'm still waiting for a big storm to fuck it up so the insurance will pay for it. Until then, we patch it ourselves.)

Cheaper health insurance
   (LOL!!!! Remember that time they tried to make us pay for not having it. Yeah right. Try living in a state that hasn't expanded medicare and you live in the gap of not being able to buy it and not being able to get it for free. I went without for about 15 years and it was still cheaper to pay out of pocket when I actually did go to the doc. I have it now, but I haven't used it since I even got it...lol)

Buy cheaper food, shop small.
  (just no. Buying the cheaper brand will only create more waste because there's a reason why you don't buy it. Not on everything, but many things. Fruity O's taste nothing like Froot Loops and you know it. Organic apples have taste, while 'apples' often do not, or taste like pesticides... go organic for 4 weeks and tell me how you can ever go back...because you can't...because you taste the other stuff in the non-organics now. I also have 3 apple trees in my backyard (planted to save money and get free apples!yay) and I haven't been able to harvest any for going on 3 years now....so I'm living the dream... LOL.)

Staycations
    (we are going places? My last 'vacation' was New Year's of 2018 (I think)... it was a cruise, and it kinda sucked.  I'm visiting my niece soon...is that a vacation? I'm going to a concert in Feb. so maybe that counts...? I like staying home actually.)

Pack your lunch...
   (....I work at home... I'm always at home. I like my own food and kinda don't really even eat lunch...but I don't really get up til almost noon anyway....soooo)

You know what.... stay off of google.

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Searching for answers is way different than receiving your answers.
Check your energy.
Tune into it.
Listen to what's coming through YOU and not what's coming from the world.
The world can help define, but it can't lead.
There's no trickety-trick. There's no effortless way through the muck.
There's just tools and your knowing how to use them.
There's trust in your own skills and the honing of those skills.
There's learning and getting your mindset clear.
There's building a support and trust with yourself and what you inwardly know and feel.

Debt is a tool and sometimes that tool gets out of hand. (like a chainsaw!)
But we can reassess and learn with new tools and new processes and sometimes just walk away.
Cut the emotional ties you have to the debt.
Heal and resonate with freedom and abundance.
And stay there, no matter how ugly the world is looking.
When you stay centered and focused on the best feeling outcomes..
it all has to come into resonance with you.
Don't forget who you are and what you are capable of.
You are always in control, even if you have handed control over to the system for a time.

I've seen people soar straight out of debt and lack and move into wealth within days.
I've seen people simply meditate and realign and things shifted overnight for them.
I've seen people let go of the struggle energy and quickly open up into receiving.
You got this!
You are beautiful and able and have everything you need.
I know that whatever obstacles or challenges you face are often only illusions and the pathways through them are already there. The tools are already there.
I fucking believe in everyone of us to be abundant and thrive in our lives. <3 <3 <3
I believe in YOU. Believe in you too!

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