Listen to yourself...

( a bunch of shit I wrote and then deleted ) you missed it
...
again taking my own advice pretty much...
I'm so smart ;)




.


...I love this pic....

sooo... there's a happiness balloon hovering nearby and I can't help but smile at it...
Bright bold red...
and I've come to the realization I only own 1 red shirt... and zero yellow sweaters...
(challenge accepted...)

3d world is being so cooperative and I'm glad it finally came aroundaether lands are joyful and deep

chapter 36...
I totally slowed down on the chapters, only because I'm spent by the time I get started...
and I really just want to meditate more...
I have stuff to write for it though.
I'll tackle about 5-10 pages tonight for sure most likely

sewing work... I got appliques to sew today...
and I've filled my procrastination quota already, so looks like once this blog
post is finished, that's what I'll be doing

 My inner spidey sense tells me that I will have a burst of 'clean the house'
really soon....   and I'm almost paranoid that it's coming... and right now I don't wanna
...but once it hits... all other things on the agenda will suddenly make way...
I so badly want to purge and deep clean... but not right now... I got things to do, yo

there's also a huge sense of an adventure on the horizon
something is coming and going to pop soon...
and this sounds exciting!
don't know what it is... but that's cool too

...okay, navigating my amazon seller account...was an adventure just now...
and I never want to go there again...
you'd think they'd make it user friendly and actually have a support number...
but no... what a pain... that's a BIG NO
like eating your first taste of squid or something... YUCK
(I've never had squid...but I can imagine)
okay, okra.... or a Vienna sausages...😝 but 10 times worse like mushrooms...
...looks like I'm back to Etsy... even though I hate them too...
should I even bother at this point... *sigh
ugh...
fuck them all
no effort = peace

so I choose peace....
I love how life is coordinating with my book... go figure...



________
____________


not really sure what else... Imma go sew some shit so it feels like I made progress
 I just spent 20 minutes hunting for the cat to take his meds...

and I've done decided that living in the unseen is best spoken silently.

lots of new fangled learnings a happenin


..

may the one who kisses your lips also kiss your soul...
and the one you invite in... invite them in fully...

..


...

Onward ... On Word... ;)

"The moment you believe your own crap and excuses, you fail."  ~Richdad

That's the same as living within the comfort of your limitations... yes it is...
So stop it.


Be messy
Color outside the lines...
...
maybe try creating a scene in the background rather than just scribbled lines...
although scribbles are just as good...
even better if it's done intentionally... with a plethora of colors!
and when your teacher implies that giraffes are not purple...
and do not live in castles...or jungles...or the ocean...or space
tell them to fuck off...
they won't say that again....
and if they do, you'll be ready for a one up...
"I said... fuck off, Karen"
and I hope to god they get the reference... cause it'd be funny as hell

so go buy the thing
do the other thing
see that one thing
feel that thing
go there
be that
you get to have it all

YOU GET TO HAVE IT ALL
and
IT ALL GETS TO BE EASY

____________________

look what I found... just now on facebook (yeah, I'm a great multi-tasker!)

"The limited, are the only ones that see limitations."

Word.

...
I really have nothing to say on the matter...
you can figure it out

I'll be working on pinpointing, sighting, targeting, and destroying such matters...
it will be fun.
(look I said fun like twice in 3 days! yikes! I can't help it if it involves destruction and death)
and a fancy for firearms...

blah...gotta go write a book
later

pic!
 .


may the barnacles that hold you down be scoured from your futures...
so your voyage may be swift and clear... and everlasting forwardness into the dawn


...

No longer accepting applications...

Look... I am aware of the current Mercury retrograde happening right now... (in Pisces)
but pah-leez! 
this is not a hard thing to understand...
You can't just say certain words and make them even plausible to the comment...
have you looked up the meanings of words???
most of them are easily recognizable....
but I don't think you know what they mean...

these are not big words...
they are not hard words...
rather common ones actually...
this IS easy...
so step the fuck up... and get your thoughts reined in....
cause you are going loco, yo

I WILL NOT FOLLOW YOU INTO YOUR OWN DEPRIVATION

and I will not reach my hand down into the pit to pull you out...
lest you pull me in....
climb motherfucker... climb... here's your ladder
.... 

--------------------------------------------------------
_______________________________________
_________________________________________


"We are done seeking comfort in our limitations."

a quote a friend posted yesterday....

and do we know what our limitations are?
I mean, I am well aware of mine...
very attuned to what they are, to exact science almost...
actions to take to disempower those limitations are what's elusive...
we all know we have struggles...
we know them well...
but what to do about them...yeah, that's what we need
~show us the way~

some people can help... and help enormously too
show us doors, mirrors, windows, views, solutions...
even a single sentence can shake us from those stuck patterns

and I'm thinking people don't share enough of their stories...
how can those who are stuck on this random subject find the door out....
if you close it and don't tell us there was ever a door...
share your shit...
the grit you frolicked in until your skin was raked raw....
the mud you wallowed in until you were wrinkled and cold...
so we know where you were...
and then tell us what changed and where and why and who...
and how the door was actually this or that for you...
cause maybe it could be for us too...

I don't want your structured check lists...
I don't want your 10 steps to whatever...
I want you and your truth...
that's all that will ever save us...
especially when we are stuck in the mud... or the grit...or the swamps of life...
even if you are ashamed of ever being in the mud....
fucking tell us how to get out of it, douche bag.

....
and we are done with limitations....
and I dare you all to see them and destroy them
seek and destroy...
it will be fun
and it will be a good day
....

.


____
____
------
------

You know what I did yesterday?
Spent way too many hours mindlessly scrolling tik tok... (for the win)
I did read the last bit I wrote in book... but didn't add more...
still on chapter 35
I was all prepped to cut out sewing stuff, but fabrics weren't condusive...
and now waiting for reply back from customer to see what she wants instead....
I did get a bunch of the designs printed...
so tomorrow I will be cutting out appliques ALL DAY O_O (for two dresses!)
yay...
good thing it's going to rain

I had a plan to talk about 'Support' today...
but now I'm not sure why...
like sometimes I feel a certain someone is against me...
and I want their support... (especially when I've fallen into that 'efforting' shit)
and other times they don't seem concerned enough to annoy me about it...
like... dude...
then the next day they are up to remedy my requests...
... like that's all I need... humor me until I get what I want...
then I'll leave you alone until something new comes along... that's all...
this is not hard
stop playing the 'wave game' and we can vibe together in cool crisp calmness <3
   (fyi: the wave game would be like having a low vibe, then high, then low again...
    and being an ass)   (not to be confused with the loco idiot in paragraph #1)
I like how I can call people names on here.... neither one of them read this blog
and even if they did... *shrugs (no shame)



And then I was thinking I could write about going with the flow...
instead of against it... and 'efforting'...
because I know I've been doing that regarding finding someone with a bobcat...
and I know I need to not do anything
and it will get taken care of...
like, I KNOW
dude, I told you, I already see my pool, yo...
and I have a little robot I get to throw in it to clean the bottom...
anyway... Brain is being a fucker and wanting to know things I don't yet know...
Soul is chilling and singing... enticing me to follow suit with Dory...and
'just keep swimming' in her most charming voice...
Ego is internally laughing while also holding a solid eye roll...
Even she is tired of Brain's shit
Mind is actually being a retard right now and clapping along with Soul's song...
   (I don't really know the difference between Mind and Brain... but there is one...)


Aether lands.... no clue...
I went and did that fucking 'get in your body' bullshit that I wrote about NOT doing...
and now I'm sitting in this motherfucker all disconnected with Awesome...
*sad face
 I will remedy that shit tonight...
look.... I tried to see it all from some other angle and work with this
wonderful electrobiological specimen....
but this is not my cup o' tea..... anything
it's great when participating in certain activities...but in my truth...
I LOVE my connection with myself far more... thanks, but no thanks...
  (and I don't live here... I visit periodically, erratically at best)
...
"Sorry Karen, my mom called and I have to go home"


 okay, that was far too many words...
not sorry
maybe I'll talk about limitations again tomorrow and throw some real truth your way...
or not..
ask me tomorrow, cause sometimes I forget I have them LOL
and if I get back out into the aether lands... I might forget they ever existed...
hmmm...
interesting theory.... I will look into that...
(NO, NOT on Google. The Aether.... or Ether... for you prunes who like simple words)

~ interdimensional healing ~ ???

________________________________________________
________________________________________________

Just keep swimming...

....

I was going to start with a cool quote...
but let me get this out first...

I am not available for ignorance.
Or confusion.
Things are not hard, they are not confusing...
and if you can't figure it out...
I am not going to be able to work with you...

I would totally get it, if by chance we were talking math
or big mucho grande foreign words... or anything about rules...
but I'm talking about yard work...
and I sent pictures...
and I don't think it's that difficult...
...
and then even after the location (Hixson area) was already written...
you didn't understand...
and even after I give you the address...
you think that's the town...
and I'm like...no... I'm in Chattanooga...Hixson area...
and they were like..'all you wrote was the street name.'..is that a town'
ummm...
I'm reading the messages... you know.. the ones right above the last...
...
it can't be that hard... 😑😒😕😖😞

and I can't bring myself to reply back...
cause I know better than to work with idiots...
dude...
this isn't hard..
none of this is hard...

"I summon forth the simple, the easy, the smart, and the amazing match to my desires!"
"So mote it be!"

Clarity.
Crystal clear.
_____________________
__________________________
_________________________________

.


I brought home more fish today!
And a maneki-neko cat ON A FISH! And it works, yo!

Chapter 35 of book.
so much is happening...and I added to the outline that used to be a whole 7 words...
O_O  (used...to...be)
god save me

I have to have to have to sew this skirt today...and I'm having a good ol' time not doing it
well snap... I got lost on google...for far too long...
but now I'm back..and realize that it's time for dinner... GAH!
I really must get that skirt done!
 _______________________________________


AAAHHH...
so I made dinner....
and look where I'm at again...
I MUST go!
Skirt will get finished...

and then imma go write... *thumbs up 👍

...
I'll do the quote thing tomorrow... I have a good one I saw today
I did write it down, cause I'm cool like that, yo
and there's this thing about support... that needs written too....
argh...

I might be back
  ..
..
  ..
..

Crash, cut, slice...and rain down

Triple Water Tribe....

"present"

that's all this girl
Sun in Pisces
Moon in Scorpio
Ascendant is Scorpio

...
according to the birth certificate...
I was born under the moon... at 11:32pm...
(of course the mom does not agree with this...
but maybe it was the drugs... or lack of paperwork skills)
I guess we will never know
...

anyway, that would attribute to the lack of resonance with some of the Pisces crap
and explain the whole 'I love you, but please die', mentality HAHA




.


.
.


 ...

sooo...what to talk about today..?

chapter 34.... and there's obvious things I need to go back and edit...
and I'm trying not to rush...
but the side stories are boring for me recently...

stuff... sewing work... getting there and procrastinating like a boss
*thumbs up

not much else really in 3d world...

aether lands are lit though
doing this weird transmuting with chakras thing...
interesting I guess... it's new and I'm not sure it's producing much just yet
we will see I suppose
ask me tomorrow


I'm pretty sure the whole ideaology of victimhood is going out of style
I hope it dies quickly....
you just can't stay a fucking needy baby forever, yo
if anyone posts shit about being wronged or a victim any ANY sense ...Imma unfriend yo ass
idgaf
you get 2 days to wallow at your pity party ...
and then you better get the fuck over it.

low ass vibes are not in alignment with all this awesomeness over here
eat it
...
and choke for all I care


_______________
________________
______________
_______________

argh...
not sure.. things are mucky in the waters...
all is well though
it's a shifting...this happens often enough for me to ignore it completely
even if I can't do it 100%
it's really exciting once it's finished though!
Like sunrise.

(like a cleaned fishtank... it glows, yo)
dude! I can go buy some fish!
(two of course, Pisces for the win!...
wait... three! Triple Water tribe!
*yes)

The bright blessed day...dark sacred night

When you watch the small worlds crumble upon themselves...
...because they built themselves upon dreams and expectations...
and not upon their own soul.

When you watch the hearts of others withdraw and fall back into duality...
even when they preach about peace...

oh the masks you wear...

I fucking see you and always have...

yet you can't see yourself...
you can't remember who you are...
you can't find the truth...
and your eyes fall prey to the truth of something outside of you...
you've forgotten...
and you've hidden your love beneath your reflections...

....

and am I abnormal to devour the world and all of you pathetic humans in love?
am I such an anomaly to give even more compassion when it's needed more?
am I so insane enough to sacrifice all expectations and judgments to see under your masks?

I will not follow you into your own deprivation

I will not follow you into chaos and duality
where the winds blow east and the waters race west

I will not decide to withdraw truth and love out of fear
I will not cower to fear
I will not coddle to reaction and blame and shame and all the fucking tsk tsk's...
I will not step away blindly from pain and pretend it is not allowed

This is a safe space
THIS... as in me
and nothing you can do, or say, or even pile up 'facts' upon...
will ever crumble this kingdom...
it's built upon Soul

I am the builder
I am the creator
and I know my parts...
and in doing so, I know all others

I will not hold anything but a space for ALL the THINGS.
All is well.
There is great love for you here.

______________________________________________________________

and the conditions...
are irrelevant.

Stand before the Christ... or the God...or the stars...or the forest...or the mountains
and know
there is no greater truth than love.

and ALL is allowed to be

_____________________________________________

 .


~~ "The same star lights up the sky and kisses our eyes like poison." ~~


So I may have taken a liking far too much to a perspective that allows all to be.
Everyone wants to choose a side.... EVERYONE wants to be left or be right...
and even religion teaches to choose a side....
lukewarm is a sin... remember...
Fuck you...
I choose ALL, BOTH...or if it must come... NONE
Full life and love..... or nothing
Half ass living is not a life
keep that to yourself... I will not partake in mediocre

Stand above the walls
See all sides...
Rise above the world
See all...
all is beautiful... and it can't not be...unless you are staring at a brick wall...

Be nice... be kind... the given rule...
No.
I will be nice and kind and a bit cruel too...
I will tell you to fuck off.
I will take money if I found it on the floor
I will also give it to you if you ask
I will judge and I will love whoever I want
We will always forgive....and sometimes forsake...
fuck you.
I will do as I please.... and love you as I do
I choose all...
and you too are allowed to be here
you are allowed
I allow you

_______________________________________
________________________________________
___________________________________________


I played ukelele all day yesterday and barely got anything done
My work ethics are at their prime, haha!
I did clean the fish tank! And go to the DMV!
Today I did not go to the store like I said I would....
and even as 4pm approaches...I'm still not going to go
I don't want to people....
and for what it's worth..I can't even facebook today either...

 ...I did comment earlier...
and my heart is peaceful about the being seen and heard...
because it's important we all accept other's as a brother, as a sister...
and I thank this novel I'm writing for all these perspectives...
and know that even if we hold someone in a brighter light...
their shadows sometimes are cast darker...
...
but who's fault is that?
yeah...you get me... you understand
give more love if you feel your expectations have been broken....
give more love...
give more...always give more... give it all away...
please
every last drop...

I love you humans...
and I despise you too...
but to bleed out....
mmmm.... it's like candy....
knowing I'm staining you and making you cry and grit your teeth on rage...
oh...but the love
You have no idea the depths...
the bottomless pit that you fear... can't ever fill up...and can't ever be empty...
you have no idea when you only see in duality...
"come up here"
 see us all
like the stars see us


_____________________
______________________


_________________
_____________________

I really am planning to get something done today...
even if this ^^^ stuff keeps rolling out of my feelers

mmm... too many words it seems...
'shhh'



...

TIMBER!!!

"The perfect way to see where you're headed is to not look at where other's are."

He's always ready to spill one of these quotes out for me when I start a blog post.
Interesting.

Cause today I'm in a dilemma.
But not me...just something observed...
which after I explain all the nonsense of it..
I will not speak of it again
...because taking advice is just as good as giving it...

Let's start with facebook...
this conglomerate of different ideas, ideals, perspectives, opinions..etc.
while I have some groups and friends that only post quotes from the
enlightened beings around the world...or cool hermetic philosophies...
..
there are others...
and I see them bleeding out...
always pointing out the problem
always sharing exactly what they are not liking...
the one (or two, or three, or everything) little (or big) issue they see/have
(kinda like I'm doing now... but I don't see a problem)
(it's more of a 'let's aim you toward peace' attempt, rather than an issue)

You share your problem...
and then what?
do you feel better now? are you wanting rescue? sympathy?
oh wait... you want money, I see...
or advice...

but once you get the money...you only see the problem with it...
'not enough'
or once you get the advice...you still see the problem with it...
'I can't because ____' or 'that won't work for me...'
or you completely judge it, because someone gave you what you didn't want...
(oh wait, that IS how law of attraction works...but okay...get mad)
... you can't see the solution when the problems are in the way...
like that other saying (can't see the forest for the trees)

so my advice... (which, yes, I'd take myself)
stop being a fucking ninny
stop finding problems to overcome and solve
stop coddling the bad parts
stop stop stop
and for the love of god, stop asking for money because you have bills
or because you can't find a job
or because you are worried
ten thousand reasons wouldn't even be enough, dear...

you don't know what you need... when you are in need
but I guarantee you, it will never never never be money
money is an idea, it's not even a thing
so get a new idea...lots of ideas...
own up, step up...
and stop being a fucking ninny
_______________________________
_______________________________________

"I like how you get all passionate about people being empowered."

what he says when my heart and fingers race at the same speed...

"You think you are cruel and unsympathetic...
You just love them for who they really are.
Maybe too much."

and while he doesn't talk much...
he loves joining in to the blog posts... *sigh
  ____________________
____________
______________________________
       _________________
                   ______________
   __________

.

you can always look up...
the whole forest gets to view the stars

_____________________
_____________________

Chapter 33... I'm guessing a 40 chapter book at this rate...
I'm not sure where the end is anymore...

- I had to people today, I survived. I don't want to do it again.
  (how do you stand one another??!!)
- cleaned the fish tank...and I've agreed to get more fish
  (no one has died lately, so it must be safe)

- still open to receiving someone with a bobcat to level my yard
  (and set up a pool frame. I'm ready if you're ready)
- cat is on meds.... so he's gonna hate me for 2 weeks
  (please make this cat better)
- sewing work... I got a lot done yesterday, more than I intended...
  (does that mean I can procrastinate?...
   I can do that even if I did nothing! HA! I'm the boss, yo!)


whatevs...

~It's going down, I'm yelling timber
You better move, you better dance
Let's make a night, you won't remember
I'll be the one, you won't forget~

Time is irrelevant

"You have it now...so keep it." ~ The Alchemist

just now...
while thinking of how to start a blog post
of course, he threw in a bunch of other great sayings...
but we don't have all day to write them all down.

it's just an idea...
and you only give away the ones you don't want
or don't want to raise up as your own...
you only share the ones you aren't afraid to lose
but... the ones you keep close...
they are for you...
so keep your dreams close
keep your joys closer
keep your thoughts, your visions, your money...
keep those things in the NOW

and it's always NOW

________________________________________
___________________________________________________
________________________________________
 .

 I'm not sure Mercury retrograde is a thing...
or some of us are immune to the supposed effects...
cause it feels like the receiver is picking up a whole lot more than usual...
even without that meditation thing
this is not unusual...
and also the wi-fi downstairs is actually not being a prune today
unlike yesterday's fiasco...

I learned 2 new ukelele songs too! (today! Yes I am that awesome)
of course...learning the words to these songs is a whole different aspect...

Got to go pick up some cashola tomorrow. $$$
and drop by the post office...
and maybe a check will arrive in the mail...
and an invoice will be paid...
and the IRS will inform me of an upcoming deposit
and maybe....some really nice person with a bobcat will arrive with a perfect quote.
all that is totally possible... plus some more cool things
I'd like to put in an order for a 0% balance transfer as well.
and a hot bath...
and maybe finish chapter 32 tonight.... and possibly aim for an ending...
and I should (don't should on yourself!) ...paint that wall...
or start on it...
I know why I haven't, and it's because I keep changing the art designs in my head, lol....
"too much thinking doth make one mad...."

...

So I snoozed like all but 3 groups on facebook... cause Imma bout to to do that thing
of not...staying out of it, lol.
I appreciate contrast, however the "I can't hear you." comes fully into play
and the woe is me attitudes and outlooks need a good smack in the face...with a cast iron pan
Love is not enough to pull you from the pit
but if I slowly pry your fingers off the ledge....
you'd be awfully in a hurry to pull yourself out of it...
just sayin
...I thought you were asking for help....
so.... next time be more specific on what type of help you want...
do you want coddled in your detriments...or do you want to change your life?


I'm the 'bad guy'
DUH!

__________

Clearing...
that's the word of what the aether looks like right now
like this translucent space that you can see through to all the other things...
and it's like being under water, and the air is like a gel...
things move slowly, it appears...
but you can look at them before they pass
and the space goes out forever
and there's the whole world in here
the whole world, the whole universe
see
listen
hear
feel
all this goodness
there is great love for you here
all is well

all of these things are already yours....
so go to them, let them come to you...
just call their names... their vibrations...
and in your hands they will be
and in your life they will be
and they are

the Alchemist stands beside me
my guide, who seems to have more patience than I first realized
we are on to the next adventure...
and it is marvelous

-____________-__________-____________-

hmmm...I wrote all THAT ^^^  yesterday 2 days ago...
and I must have forgotten to post it (twice) HAHA!

today's yesterday's updates....
made money, spent money... and made it to chapter 33....
GAH! I'm pretty sure this book is going to be long...
I haven't even started editing... oy vey!

today's updates...
there's at least 40 tabs open on this browser.... (43, I counted)
all ukelele songs...
minus 2...which is this blog...and the page I post the blog to on facebook...
...
and I am going to cut out a dress, so I can say I did work on something productive today...
even though we all know that is irrelevant.
and then I'll find out what else afterwards!
It's all a surprise!
but seriously, I need to get off of here and actually post it...
cause most of it is like way past relevant...

let's just say that life is beautiful and you are loved  <3

Amazing things are everywhere!

"Shhh" - BOOM!

"Stay out of it."

the time you try to tell that to someone,
but just as the words leave your lips...
you realize...yeah, that's great advice, I should take it too.
and then...
You do

and it helps to repeat it in your mind as they try to wrangle you in

and it all works out...
not your circus, not your monkeys...
not your battle, or project, or idea...
stay out of it

unless you really feel like taking on other people's shit...
then by all means, go for it...
...
and I wonder how brilliant I actually am...
if I would only follow my own advice way more often
Ah.... the possibilities.
I guess I could play that game...
the game of listening to myself...
because afterall... I AM the genius...
  (( genius in etymology =  'attendant spirit present from one's birth'))
the overseer... the ruler... the godhead... the captain... the driver... 
all in control of this avatar.... this body... and mind...who knows nothing but patterns...
a nervous system built to react.... and sometimes reacting badly...

turn off your auto-pilot...
and take the reins, or joystick, or controls, throttles, wheel, or whatever vessel your driving
(take the flesh!)
 and try not to crash

it'll be fun

_________________________
________________________________
.


oh...life could be a dream...

Oh, life could be a dream
If I could take you up in paradise up above
If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love
Live could be a dream, sweetheart...

 

just learnt that on ukelele.... fyi...

 pretty simple...