Monday, December 24, 2018
New antennas pick up better signals.
...
...
"We were a part of the ocean. Where the waves could not reach, but where the city could be seen from the distant land. Here we thrived while the outer lands struggled to understand what gifts we held. We helped them, oh we helped them often. With knowledge, with the means to build, to travel, to heal. We helped them. However... we found ourselves becoming responsible for the others. For they no longer relied upon themselves, but came to us for every need. They wouldn't, they couldn't look within for the answers they sought. We had become their only source of wisdom and they no longer were able to see or find it within themselves. They began to see us as gods, and even as we tried to show them their own strengths, they would not listen. Their ears were covered from the truth and their eyes were blinded from their own greatness.
We would begin to turn them away, the others who traveled from far away lands. We began to seal our entrance and keep our thriving splendors to ourselves, hiding them from view. But they would continue to plead to us, offering even their children in exchange for a piece of our tokens. We knew that our time living freely and abundantly was nearing the final turn.
It was us who destroyed our city. It was us, who caused it to be swallowed by the sea. To hide it from their eyes. To spare them from becoming slaves to another, while being able to become their own gods. Our people scattered themselves into the distant lands, masking who we were, refraining from showing the knowledge we held. This was the agreement. This was to save ourselves and to save the others. To set the balance rightly so as we both would be whole.
With time, some of us would share the things we knew, some greeted with awe and inspiration, while others cast out and forsaken. Testing where their perceptions lay. Testing, until the time arose where we could share even more. Testing, until our people would be able to reunite.
We have not vanished, nor are we forgotten. We thrive among the lands. A people, among the people.
It was our bearing and upholding of the world that brought about the suffering. Like Atlas. One trying to hold up the other so to become whole. But nay. As a complete union, we are all complete. Each a whole. Each complete. No one is a piece of a whole. No one people is a piece of the universe. Nor one world. We are all each complete upon ourselves. Like Atom. Like Eva."
...
...
So that was fun...
Let's go with it!
___________________________________________________
There was a discovery as well.
One about the way things come and the way they are blocked.
And the way a possible great thing is turned away or held at bay, due to an inner limitation.
The way the mind wants to own it and analyze it. The way it doesn't trust.
The way it still yells out after being severed.
Screaming loud enough to say whatever it must to survive.
Hoping to be rescued and tied back on. Almost begging.
Oh, dear thoughts... if there were a fear of death in me, perhaps your pleas might be heeded...
but alas. Death is only rebirth in this kingdom, so it is welcomed with honors.
The echoes... To hear them... but not feel them. This liberation.
And the programming is bugging out... leaving an error message across the screen.
There will be no more updates from that outdated program.
In fact, deleting the application and rebooting may be necessary.
This is not a compatible operating system for that software.
And...
that's it for today.
Tomorrow's Christmas!
Sunday, December 23, 2018
11:11 choose the door in the middle..... yes, that one...with the handle
I would call this day 10 of 100....
but there's been much movement on the surface
and the depths have been unable to hold me there
....
perhaps start again on day 6.
perhaps stop keeping count.
that sounds good.
let's not count.
just keep swimming
just keep swimming.
saw Aquaman today.
A decent DC movie.
Not Avengers great or anything,
but Aquaman was worth the $5.99 I spent to see it.
Who wouldn't. The dude's got muscles.
....
I don't agree with the portrayal of Atlantis they had on the film.
Seems hollywood-fied and didn't meet my expectations.
tis okay though. I guess being way off is better than being really close...
cause then you'd think they actually knew something.
_______________________________________
So because the surface is so freaking loud,
there hasn't been any recent insightfulness to share...
how about something old...
only in an effort to make this blog post longer than a few short sentences?
okay, cool....
hang on,,,lemme check my list...
Is it weird my most recent guide carries a trident?
like that's not coincidental at all...
hmmm.
he has 3 sets of wings too.... but that's beside the point...
I asked him if that had anything to do with water and he just
sent me some irritated sigh and a firm
"No."...
"Only involving the depths of your soul..."
"The balance of the nature of man into the divine creator."
"The pathways."
"I am certain you know."
"That is why they mask it behind the dark mirror."
"To keep them from seeing the truth."
"It is not merely a weapon, nor just a shield."
"It is the convergence of a knowledge and a truth."
yeah... I already know.
all that two into one stuff.
But why do you carry it? I ask...
"Because this is the last gate."
"After me there is only truth."
"All else will fall away. All else will bend. All else will be extinguished."
"Like the shadow in the presence of a light."
"I am the gate keeper. And this is the final path."
....this guide.... the seraphim that actually speaks aloud.
the one who dons golden armor and cast in a sacred white glow.
the one with a trident spear.
the one that forms the mold for a soul.
the one who taught me to untether myself...
...from all that is apart from me...
untether...from what is solid to that which moves.
untether...from the earth to the heavens.
and now... everything is sacred...
and my mind wants to reign my soul in, but I see the mind and it's flailing...
flailing as I sever it's hold on me...
I'm rapt. And I feel the pull.
....
"untether thyself"...
___________________________________
ever met a lion turtle?
that is what this reminds me of...
yeah...
so that was fun... real shit.
almost Christmas.
The soltice has arrived.
The full moon has graced us with it's light.
and the shifting will reap the rewards in turn of the year.
Huzzah.
but there's been much movement on the surface
and the depths have been unable to hold me there
....
perhaps start again on day 6.
perhaps stop keeping count.
that sounds good.
let's not count.
just keep swimming
just keep swimming.
saw Aquaman today.
A decent DC movie.
Not Avengers great or anything,
but Aquaman was worth the $5.99 I spent to see it.
Who wouldn't. The dude's got muscles.
....
I don't agree with the portrayal of Atlantis they had on the film.
Seems hollywood-fied and didn't meet my expectations.
tis okay though. I guess being way off is better than being really close...
cause then you'd think they actually knew something.
_______________________________________
So because the surface is so freaking loud,
there hasn't been any recent insightfulness to share...
how about something old...
only in an effort to make this blog post longer than a few short sentences?
okay, cool....
hang on,,,lemme check my list...
Is it weird my most recent guide carries a trident?
like that's not coincidental at all...
hmmm.
he has 3 sets of wings too.... but that's beside the point...
I asked him if that had anything to do with water and he just
sent me some irritated sigh and a firm
"No."...
"Only involving the depths of your soul..."
"The balance of the nature of man into the divine creator."
"The pathways."
"I am certain you know."
"That is why they mask it behind the dark mirror."
"To keep them from seeing the truth."
"It is not merely a weapon, nor just a shield."
"It is the convergence of a knowledge and a truth."
yeah... I already know.
all that two into one stuff.
But why do you carry it? I ask...
"Because this is the last gate."
"After me there is only truth."
"All else will fall away. All else will bend. All else will be extinguished."
"Like the shadow in the presence of a light."
"I am the gate keeper. And this is the final path."
....this guide.... the seraphim that actually speaks aloud.
the one who dons golden armor and cast in a sacred white glow.
the one with a trident spear.
the one that forms the mold for a soul.
the one who taught me to untether myself...
...from all that is apart from me...
untether...from what is solid to that which moves.
untether...from the earth to the heavens.
and now... everything is sacred...
and my mind wants to reign my soul in, but I see the mind and it's flailing...
flailing as I sever it's hold on me...
I'm rapt. And I feel the pull.
....
"untether thyself"...
___________________________________
ever met a lion turtle?
that is what this reminds me of...
yeah...
so that was fun... real shit.
almost Christmas.
The soltice has arrived.
The full moon has graced us with it's light.
and the shifting will reap the rewards in turn of the year.
Huzzah.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Decent is just a descent. Stop it.
Day 5 of 100
"Your soul is magic. Why are you going after decent?"
This was about two weeks ago. Maybe it was three.
I never put dates on these things. I just write them down.
And sometimes decent looks appealing.
Sometimes decent looks acceptable.
Sometimes decent is safe and secure.
Sometimes... sometimes... decent is a rhythm...
a rhythm that lulls you to sleep.
with the consistent tempo of sameness, over and over and over.
'Decent' is one of the hardest things to let go of.
because there's nothing wrong with it.
It's not broken.
It's not harsh, or pushy, or making some annoying sound.
It just is.
and when it just is....
it's neither amazing.
or exciting.
or inspiring.
or uplifting.
or all the other awesome shit.
and as someone who knows what awesome, amazing, exciting, inspiring, uplifting, life-changing super saiyan fantastical rock star jedi things are and how absolutely incredible that they can be....
'decent' ... will never make the cut.
it can't.
it won't.
and you can choose your decent things and be satisfied....
but I've lived too deeply for 'decent' to be a long term guest.
and the eviction notice has been served.
I am not a decent person.
And I am no longer available to provide it shelter here.
There will be no settling for decent here among this slice of heaven.
_________________________________________________________
Do you know those times when you don't want to share certain things with anyone?
Because you know they'll be questions.
Or judgments. Or something irrelevant.
It doesn't matter what they think.
and you honestly don't care.
and so you just don't say anything. You don't share anything.
because justifying is irrelevant too.
and you only justify because you think they need that.
but they don't need anything from you.
they don't need anything from you.
so stop giving it to them.
__________________________________________
Got a few screenplay downloads today.
A few more scenes added to this current possible animation film.
getting there...
would be great to come faster, but I guess I'm probably too busy...
maybe a good thing, I'm not swamped with the whole movie in my head...
cause then I wouldn't get all this other stuff finished...
I'd be writing...
In otherworldly news....
I have this mash up of an Avengers story playing in my head...
but it's like a whole different story...
and Dr. Manhatten is in it...
is he even Marvel?? I think he's DC actually... hmm.
But Aquaman is...
and Iron Man.
And Hawkeye.
Anyway...
I also have book 6 playing around too...
and it's rather dark.
like book 6 is looking to be really really dark...
I promise I won't kill Talisyn again though, poor girl.
speaking of... Aquaman comes out soon... Christmas movie time!
Damn... it's like late...
okay, it's almost 10:30...
which is late...
cause meditation time, yo. I got other places to be.
See ya.
"Your soul is magic. Why are you going after decent?"
This was about two weeks ago. Maybe it was three.
I never put dates on these things. I just write them down.
And sometimes decent looks appealing.
Sometimes decent looks acceptable.
Sometimes decent is safe and secure.
Sometimes... sometimes... decent is a rhythm...
a rhythm that lulls you to sleep.
with the consistent tempo of sameness, over and over and over.
'Decent' is one of the hardest things to let go of.
because there's nothing wrong with it.
It's not broken.
It's not harsh, or pushy, or making some annoying sound.
It just is.
and when it just is....
it's neither amazing.
or exciting.
or inspiring.
or uplifting.
or all the other awesome shit.
and as someone who knows what awesome, amazing, exciting, inspiring, uplifting, life-changing super saiyan fantastical rock star jedi things are and how absolutely incredible that they can be....
'decent' ... will never make the cut.
it can't.
it won't.
and you can choose your decent things and be satisfied....
but I've lived too deeply for 'decent' to be a long term guest.
and the eviction notice has been served.
I am not a decent person.
And I am no longer available to provide it shelter here.
There will be no settling for decent here among this slice of heaven.
_________________________________________________________
Do you know those times when you don't want to share certain things with anyone?
Because you know they'll be questions.
Or judgments. Or something irrelevant.
It doesn't matter what they think.
and you honestly don't care.
and so you just don't say anything. You don't share anything.
because justifying is irrelevant too.
and you only justify because you think they need that.
but they don't need anything from you.
they don't need anything from you.
so stop giving it to them.
__________________________________________
Got a few screenplay downloads today.
A few more scenes added to this current possible animation film.
getting there...
would be great to come faster, but I guess I'm probably too busy...
maybe a good thing, I'm not swamped with the whole movie in my head...
cause then I wouldn't get all this other stuff finished...
I'd be writing...
In otherworldly news....
I have this mash up of an Avengers story playing in my head...
but it's like a whole different story...
and Dr. Manhatten is in it...
is he even Marvel?? I think he's DC actually... hmm.
But Aquaman is...
and Iron Man.
And Hawkeye.
Anyway...
I also have book 6 playing around too...
and it's rather dark.
like book 6 is looking to be really really dark...
I promise I won't kill Talisyn again though, poor girl.
speaking of... Aquaman comes out soon... Christmas movie time!
Damn... it's like late...
okay, it's almost 10:30...
which is late...
cause meditation time, yo. I got other places to be.
See ya.
Sunday, December 16, 2018
3 of 100.... *shrugs
Day 3
Nothing is important.
It only matters if you make it matter.
and why would you do that?
"Your heart is not in your chest."
The recent words from a friend of mine.
and I find this to be true...
Liberation is the new black.
Untethered.
Free.
Liberated.
and this path has proved to be quite easy.
going with the flow... and none of that bouncing around...
or swirling pockets, or meandering in unsureness.
All is assured.
Breathing is easier.
Moving is effortless.
Allowing is life.
_______________________________________________
Someone likes my screenplay of Laser Racers.
I like it too, actually.
I could tweak some things on it, but my body was resisting that for weeks...
and now I think I know why.
That wouldn't have been in flow. It wouldn't have been in alignment.
It would be me trying to dig out the river's edge to make things go a certain way...
and I don't have to do that.
Where I think I want to go is nowhere near as awesome of where it could take me on it's own.
And this is where I rest in trust.
And the idea of tweaking it, has been erased from my reminder list.
And liberation... ahh... love that word.
There's other things on that list I could erase.
Or the whole thing.
And sometimes that exact thing is needed.
Not just for the rush of the challenge...
or the mind echoes of 'what if you forget about this thing!!'
but because when you are in connection and in flow with your self...
you don't have to remember...
and I'm no longer available to keep tabs on things that are not in my highest calling.
things like...
the things I will do anyway, cause I want to. I couldn't forget.
other tasks I'll get around to eventually.
now that I'm actually reading this list... none of it will be overlooked.
I'll still get to it when it calls.
so... there's a delete button...
and...
poof...
gone
I have a grocery list... which I kinda need. I'm not buying just for myself.
and notes on the stuff all the guides have said to me.
and screenplay ideas.
hey... I can erase anything...
like stuff.
let's do that!
That sounds fucking exciting!
Transmuting matter back into energy.
hell to the yes.
got work to do,
I'm outta here.
Nothing is important.
It only matters if you make it matter.
and why would you do that?
"Your heart is not in your chest."
The recent words from a friend of mine.
and I find this to be true...
Liberation is the new black.
Untethered.
Free.
Liberated.
and this path has proved to be quite easy.
going with the flow... and none of that bouncing around...
or swirling pockets, or meandering in unsureness.
All is assured.
Breathing is easier.
Moving is effortless.
Allowing is life.
_______________________________________________
Someone likes my screenplay of Laser Racers.
I like it too, actually.
I could tweak some things on it, but my body was resisting that for weeks...
and now I think I know why.
That wouldn't have been in flow. It wouldn't have been in alignment.
It would be me trying to dig out the river's edge to make things go a certain way...
and I don't have to do that.
Where I think I want to go is nowhere near as awesome of where it could take me on it's own.
And this is where I rest in trust.
And the idea of tweaking it, has been erased from my reminder list.
And liberation... ahh... love that word.
There's other things on that list I could erase.
Or the whole thing.
And sometimes that exact thing is needed.
Not just for the rush of the challenge...
or the mind echoes of 'what if you forget about this thing!!'
but because when you are in connection and in flow with your self...
you don't have to remember...
and I'm no longer available to keep tabs on things that are not in my highest calling.
things like...
the things I will do anyway, cause I want to. I couldn't forget.
other tasks I'll get around to eventually.
now that I'm actually reading this list... none of it will be overlooked.
I'll still get to it when it calls.
so... there's a delete button...
and...
poof...
gone
I have a grocery list... which I kinda need. I'm not buying just for myself.
and notes on the stuff all the guides have said to me.
and screenplay ideas.
hey... I can erase anything...
like stuff.
let's do that!
That sounds fucking exciting!
Transmuting matter back into energy.
hell to the yes.
got work to do,
I'm outta here.
Friday, December 14, 2018
IDK... start of 100, I guess.
New Years' resolutions...hahahaha
No , not in this galaxy.
I'm rather fond of intentions though.
And challenges.
And giving the bird to bs.
and the good thing is that none of those things can tell time...
so I can start yesterday.
;)
or last Tuesday...
*shrugs.
it's all good.
*nods
So this next screenplay I'm gelling.... it taking forever to gel....
ugh! Who used oil paints@!?
Of course this reference only is relevant to people who know that
oil paints take like 10 days to dry.... unlike 5 minute acrylics...or 30 min watercolors...
so used in comparison to screenwriting... months.
I have pieces... but not the whole story...
and this is sad to me... cause i want to play with dragons and
the magic people... but I'm gonna has to waits... :(
I have courses that have outlines, but I'm still fluctuating on that front.
I don't want to 'people'.
I want to 'me'.
so...you see the dilemma in teaching a course, no matter how much I think I know.
Funny thing...like JUST NOW... literately..
Microsoft Word program is open. ??
I did not do that.
But it is open somehow... ???
Maybe it's telling me to write the course in a book instead.
which I was considering anyway...
and I actually already have the outline for it done.
and... now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do...
and that's okay...
cause I ain;t got to do no 'do's .. ever.
just be
all BE.
all AM
this feels likely...
And there's obviously going to be a lot of rambling in this blog post.
I hope you appreciate the warning I posted way too late.
Art.
Lots of art.
I's like to paint it appears.
I sold one so far.
And I take commissions...so hit me up.
Got to makes them sales, yo.
Disregard my funtime spellings and speaks. I's a havin' fun.
Dude, that sounds like Jar Jar Binks... and I really dislike him. boo
that's cool though. I being me's ...fuck Jar Jar.
I can do all the things
or do no things.
Both are acceptable and allowed.
You too, yo.
You can 'do' something if you want.
Or not.
Either, neither, or both are acceptable and allowed.
__________________________________________________
So alignment.
Flow.
I find these things funny.
Cause nothing matters unless you make it matter.
and I'm in the work of making it not matter.
I transmute shit.
...
so for this new year's intention....
but starting yesterday...
we are going to see how much I can transmute...
between yesterday and January 15th.
That's about a month.
And so my intention has been set.
and we are working in the deep blue sea and the place where the winds coarse...
a.k.a... inner world and outer.
I would take a tally of things or thoughts... but that's irrelevant.
I'll let someone else take tally and then they can tell me if they notice the changes.
Which now that I think about it... they won't... so I'll just have to guess.
Which is pretty decent... I'm a good guesser... but more like a analyzing scientist.
I might notice. *shrugs.
Doesn't matter.
This same intention actually goes 100 days....
I guess that means I'll be here more often.
And I guess I can share occasionally if something inspiring pops up...
or not. Maybe I could just share boring shit so all my awesome shit sounds better.
lol
yeah
I gonna go!
Laters
No , not in this galaxy.
I'm rather fond of intentions though.
And challenges.
And giving the bird to bs.
and the good thing is that none of those things can tell time...
so I can start yesterday.
;)
or last Tuesday...
*shrugs.
it's all good.
*nods
So this next screenplay I'm gelling.... it taking forever to gel....
ugh! Who used oil paints@!?
Of course this reference only is relevant to people who know that
oil paints take like 10 days to dry.... unlike 5 minute acrylics...or 30 min watercolors...
so used in comparison to screenwriting... months.
I have pieces... but not the whole story...
and this is sad to me... cause i want to play with dragons and
the magic people... but I'm gonna has to waits... :(
I have courses that have outlines, but I'm still fluctuating on that front.
I don't want to 'people'.
I want to 'me'.
so...you see the dilemma in teaching a course, no matter how much I think I know.
Funny thing...like JUST NOW... literately..
Microsoft Word program is open. ??
I did not do that.
But it is open somehow... ???
Maybe it's telling me to write the course in a book instead.
which I was considering anyway...
and I actually already have the outline for it done.
and... now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do...
and that's okay...
cause I ain;t got to do no 'do's .. ever.
just be
all BE.
all AM
this feels likely...
And there's obviously going to be a lot of rambling in this blog post.
I hope you appreciate the warning I posted way too late.
Art.
Lots of art.
I's like to paint it appears.
I sold one so far.
And I take commissions...so hit me up.
Got to makes them sales, yo.
Disregard my funtime spellings and speaks. I's a havin' fun.
Dude, that sounds like Jar Jar Binks... and I really dislike him. boo
that's cool though. I being me's ...fuck Jar Jar.
I can do all the things
or do no things.
Both are acceptable and allowed.
You too, yo.
You can 'do' something if you want.
Or not.
Either, neither, or both are acceptable and allowed.
__________________________________________________
So alignment.
Flow.
I find these things funny.
Cause nothing matters unless you make it matter.
and I'm in the work of making it not matter.
I transmute shit.
...
so for this new year's intention....
but starting yesterday...
we are going to see how much I can transmute...
between yesterday and January 15th.
That's about a month.
And so my intention has been set.
and we are working in the deep blue sea and the place where the winds coarse...
a.k.a... inner world and outer.
I would take a tally of things or thoughts... but that's irrelevant.
I'll let someone else take tally and then they can tell me if they notice the changes.
Which now that I think about it... they won't... so I'll just have to guess.
Which is pretty decent... I'm a good guesser... but more like a analyzing scientist.
I might notice. *shrugs.
Doesn't matter.
This same intention actually goes 100 days....
I guess that means I'll be here more often.
And I guess I can share occasionally if something inspiring pops up...
or not. Maybe I could just share boring shit so all my awesome shit sounds better.
lol
yeah
I gonna go!
Laters
Thursday, December 6, 2018
don't leave your magic
Shift happens.
and it's in the current mode of moving from one place to another
leaving me free floating in the midst
having untethered myself from everything...
this is fabulous
new projects
finishing projects
new adventures
letting go of old ones
new steps on new paths
while the last ones are left behind
sometimes when you look behind you...
you see haw far you are from shore.
from land.
from the earth.
and a little bit of fear peers out...
have we been this far out before?
we may not ever get back....
that's the point my friend.
that's the point
we aren't going back.
we are setting out.
never to return
never ever
_________________________________________
I find myself refraining from writing on here
maybe I don't know what to say for sure
maybe I don't want anyone to read it
maybe I don't want to give myself away
maybe I don't get enough of you to give enough of me
maybe this isn't for you
maybe this isn't for me
maybe it's just one of those days
*shrugs
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time in the valley where the forest wound deeply between mountains of stone, there was a small wild fox that danced with the shadows while the moon lifted itself high into the sky. Every night the fox could be found in the glade dancing, dancing, dancing. The moon would sing her songs and they would be rapt up in a joyous celebration.
The raccoon, curious, asked the fox why he danced all the time instead of hunt for food, or dig out his den, or clean his fur, or do all the things the other fox do.
The fox told him that he did do all those things, but it was while the sun was aloft in the sky.
The raccoon astonished with horror-filled eyes, shook his head. He told the fox that doing those things while the sun was awake would anger the sun and burn him. The raccoon's words made the fox afraid and he went home to his den.
The next day the fox pondered the words said to him about the sun being angry. He didn't go out that day and waited for nightfall. As the sun went down, the fox hurried, and rushed, and tried to do his tasks quickly. He raced out to the glade, but as he approached, he saw that the moon was leaving. He called out to her, but she couldn't hear him.
The next day the fox stayed inside again, thinking he would surely finish faster and could still dance with the moon. But again, the fox, out of breath, couldn't make it in time to join the moon in the glade.
The fox cried and cried. Stressed and angry and scared. How would he be able to do his tasks and dance with the moon?! He didn't want to make the sun angry!
The next day the fox peered out from his den as the sun began setting. He called out to the sun. But as he did his eyes began to hurt and he turned away and hid back inside his den. The sun was angry! It burned him!
The fox cried and cried. Now how was he ever going to be able to do the things he loved if the sun was angry and the moon couldn't wait for him!?
The next night the fox, frantic with passion, raced out to the glade. He would ask the moon what to do! She was always so wise! But when he got there, the moon was nowhere to be seen. He waited all night for her. Sadly, he went home and cried and cried.
The fox, cast in a deep sorrow, woke up the next day. He raced out into the daylight. He would hide in the shadows so the sun couldn't see him! He would not miss his chance to meet with the moon. But as the fox began his tasks, he noticed the moon in the sky at the same time as the sun! His eyes filled with tears! She's friends with the sun?! Oh no! He cried.
The next night he darted to the glade. Nothing made sense anymore! Something had to be done! Everything had fallen apart and the fox was so unhappy. He needed to speak with the moon. He made it to the glade and saw that the moon was there waiting. He called out to her and told her of all his sorrows and that he was sorry for not being able to dance with her. He told her about the angry sun. He told her about how he loved to dance with her and that if she didn't want to be his friend anymore, that he would understand. He told her he saw her with the sun.
The moon looked down at the little fox and smiled. She told the fox about how her and the sun danced together too. She told him of how the sun is never angry and that it was indeed the sun that brought her to life.
The fox, confused, revealed that the sun had burned him and he couldn't ever look at it.
The moon cradled the fox. "Silly fox... you are looking at it. As I am his mirror."
The fox tilted his head... but the raccoon, he thought.
The raccoon knows the ways of the raccoon. Not the ways of the fox. The moon explained. Why do you not listen to your heart? She would ask. Everything in it tells you where you need to be.
The fox felt so sad. He realized he wasn't listening to his heart. He was only paying attention to his fear. The fear that only came to be because the raccoon offered it to him.
The fox took a deep breath and hugged the moon. He understood. He understood that he could always do whatever felt right for him. He didn't have to do it the raccoon's way. Or any fox way. Only the way that fit his soul.
The fox smiled and looked up at the moon. He told her how happy he was. They danced and danced.
The next night, raccoon saw the fox heading to the glade. He asked what in the world the fox was doing?! The fox told him about what he learned, but the raccoon shook his head. The raccoon told the fox how silly it was that the fox danced with the moon, as all it was was a silly moon, nothing more. The fox told of how the moon would sing songs and they would dance. The raccoon laughed telling the fox that the moon doesn't sing and walked away.
The fox smiled. It was okay if raccoon couldn't hear the moon. It was okay if raccoon feared the sun. It was all okay. Because the fox knew his own truth. He knew about the moon. He knew about the sun. He knew about the songs. The fox raced out to the glade. there, he and the moon danced while she sang the songs on the midst of the night.
made that up as I went.... hope you enjoyed it.
that's why I do the things I do, I guess. Cause magic and flow and energy.
its okay if you don't understand.
it's okay if you can't hear the moon or the sound of colors.
it's okay if you have fear.
that shit ain't for me, yo.
and it's in the current mode of moving from one place to another
leaving me free floating in the midst
having untethered myself from everything...
this is fabulous
new projects
finishing projects
new adventures
letting go of old ones
new steps on new paths
while the last ones are left behind
sometimes when you look behind you...
you see haw far you are from shore.
from land.
from the earth.
and a little bit of fear peers out...
have we been this far out before?
we may not ever get back....
that's the point my friend.
that's the point
we aren't going back.
we are setting out.
never to return
never ever
_________________________________________
I find myself refraining from writing on here
maybe I don't know what to say for sure
maybe I don't want anyone to read it
maybe I don't want to give myself away
maybe I don't get enough of you to give enough of me
maybe this isn't for you
maybe this isn't for me
maybe it's just one of those days
*shrugs
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time in the valley where the forest wound deeply between mountains of stone, there was a small wild fox that danced with the shadows while the moon lifted itself high into the sky. Every night the fox could be found in the glade dancing, dancing, dancing. The moon would sing her songs and they would be rapt up in a joyous celebration.
The raccoon, curious, asked the fox why he danced all the time instead of hunt for food, or dig out his den, or clean his fur, or do all the things the other fox do.
The fox told him that he did do all those things, but it was while the sun was aloft in the sky.
The raccoon astonished with horror-filled eyes, shook his head. He told the fox that doing those things while the sun was awake would anger the sun and burn him. The raccoon's words made the fox afraid and he went home to his den.
The next day the fox pondered the words said to him about the sun being angry. He didn't go out that day and waited for nightfall. As the sun went down, the fox hurried, and rushed, and tried to do his tasks quickly. He raced out to the glade, but as he approached, he saw that the moon was leaving. He called out to her, but she couldn't hear him.
The next day the fox stayed inside again, thinking he would surely finish faster and could still dance with the moon. But again, the fox, out of breath, couldn't make it in time to join the moon in the glade.
The fox cried and cried. Stressed and angry and scared. How would he be able to do his tasks and dance with the moon?! He didn't want to make the sun angry!
The next day the fox peered out from his den as the sun began setting. He called out to the sun. But as he did his eyes began to hurt and he turned away and hid back inside his den. The sun was angry! It burned him!
The fox cried and cried. Now how was he ever going to be able to do the things he loved if the sun was angry and the moon couldn't wait for him!?
The next night the fox, frantic with passion, raced out to the glade. He would ask the moon what to do! She was always so wise! But when he got there, the moon was nowhere to be seen. He waited all night for her. Sadly, he went home and cried and cried.
The fox, cast in a deep sorrow, woke up the next day. He raced out into the daylight. He would hide in the shadows so the sun couldn't see him! He would not miss his chance to meet with the moon. But as the fox began his tasks, he noticed the moon in the sky at the same time as the sun! His eyes filled with tears! She's friends with the sun?! Oh no! He cried.
The next night he darted to the glade. Nothing made sense anymore! Something had to be done! Everything had fallen apart and the fox was so unhappy. He needed to speak with the moon. He made it to the glade and saw that the moon was there waiting. He called out to her and told her of all his sorrows and that he was sorry for not being able to dance with her. He told her about the angry sun. He told her about how he loved to dance with her and that if she didn't want to be his friend anymore, that he would understand. He told her he saw her with the sun.
The moon looked down at the little fox and smiled. She told the fox about how her and the sun danced together too. She told him of how the sun is never angry and that it was indeed the sun that brought her to life.
The fox, confused, revealed that the sun had burned him and he couldn't ever look at it.
The moon cradled the fox. "Silly fox... you are looking at it. As I am his mirror."
The fox tilted his head... but the raccoon, he thought.
The raccoon knows the ways of the raccoon. Not the ways of the fox. The moon explained. Why do you not listen to your heart? She would ask. Everything in it tells you where you need to be.
The fox felt so sad. He realized he wasn't listening to his heart. He was only paying attention to his fear. The fear that only came to be because the raccoon offered it to him.
The fox took a deep breath and hugged the moon. He understood. He understood that he could always do whatever felt right for him. He didn't have to do it the raccoon's way. Or any fox way. Only the way that fit his soul.
The fox smiled and looked up at the moon. He told her how happy he was. They danced and danced.
The next night, raccoon saw the fox heading to the glade. He asked what in the world the fox was doing?! The fox told him about what he learned, but the raccoon shook his head. The raccoon told the fox how silly it was that the fox danced with the moon, as all it was was a silly moon, nothing more. The fox told of how the moon would sing songs and they would dance. The raccoon laughed telling the fox that the moon doesn't sing and walked away.
The fox smiled. It was okay if raccoon couldn't hear the moon. It was okay if raccoon feared the sun. It was all okay. Because the fox knew his own truth. He knew about the moon. He knew about the sun. He knew about the songs. The fox raced out to the glade. there, he and the moon danced while she sang the songs on the midst of the night.
made that up as I went.... hope you enjoyed it.
that's why I do the things I do, I guess. Cause magic and flow and energy.
its okay if you don't understand.
it's okay if you can't hear the moon or the sound of colors.
it's okay if you have fear.
that shit ain't for me, yo.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
I don't want to be your friend...
Somewhere in the world, something got pummeled.
Maybe it was the CME's from the sun or something else.
Whatever it was...
Please don't return.
I guess we'll find out on the news tomorrow... maybe... eh.
Freaking vibes like that are so uncool.
Uncool, yo. Very uncool.
Let's not next time, okay.
No one has time for such extreme energy fluctuations that have
absolutely zero reason to show their face.
And then go and make my brain try and figure out what the heck the problem is...
have you met my brain, yo!?
the thing gets input from at least 4 different dimensions.
and is highly imaginative....
only imaginative people can relate to what this mind is capable of.
It's similar to having an antenna (your body)
and a receiver (your brain)
a signal is coming in.... (energy from god knows where)
and your body is freaking out...
and your brain is trying to find the station that matches...to figure it out.
To solve what the energy is trying to say...
except it's all garbled and there's no exact channel...
and so it tries to find one close enough to the feeling you are getting...
and it tosses out guesses... bad bad guesses.
Brain: Hey, maybe this one... you totally are misunderstood and worthless!
Body: no yo, not that....
Energy: hardly...
Brain: maybe this one?? ... you suck, judgement, hate, etc etc etc!!
Body: no yo, stop trying to guess idiot...
Energy: No.
Brain: It's them... it's their fault, maybe they are feeling horrible, let's blame them!
Body: at least that's a better guess
Energy: No.
Brain... well fuck... where's all this fucking static coming from? Let's jump off the roof and die.
Body: WTF is wrong with you, chill out Brain.
Energy: Feel this!!!
Brain: oh please, why me????!!!!! Maybe it's a sun flare?
Body: *rolls eyes
Energy: ARRRGHHH!!!
Brain: we should meditate or play farm hero saga for a few hours.
Body: let's do that, both of those.
Energy: wait, what?
Brain: oh good... I think it's gone.
Body: I feel better... I think...
Energy: *numb
Brain: maybe someone I know died
Body: *pulls down curtains
Energy: I feel dead... ugh
Brain: can we not do that again... that sucked... we should watch the news...
Body: I feel completely wiped...that felt terrible.
Energy: *faceplants
Power surge of the not so friendly kind... ugh...
______________________________________________
Projects...
about those...
... they are in progress...
I don't have work orders tomorrow, so going to chill...
and maybe get the youngest out of the house for a few hours.
Will work on at least one of these projects! FUN!
Daily dose of 10 things I love:
colors, bunches of colors
warm blankets
super tiny cute knicknacks
the dark
the forest
little houses
writing
cats
dragons
storms (the worse, the better)
Maybe it was the CME's from the sun or something else.
Whatever it was...
Please don't return.
I guess we'll find out on the news tomorrow... maybe... eh.
Freaking vibes like that are so uncool.
Uncool, yo. Very uncool.
Let's not next time, okay.
No one has time for such extreme energy fluctuations that have
absolutely zero reason to show their face.
And then go and make my brain try and figure out what the heck the problem is...
have you met my brain, yo!?
the thing gets input from at least 4 different dimensions.
and is highly imaginative....
only imaginative people can relate to what this mind is capable of.
It's similar to having an antenna (your body)
and a receiver (your brain)
a signal is coming in.... (energy from god knows where)
and your body is freaking out...
and your brain is trying to find the station that matches...to figure it out.
To solve what the energy is trying to say...
except it's all garbled and there's no exact channel...
and so it tries to find one close enough to the feeling you are getting...
and it tosses out guesses... bad bad guesses.
Brain: Hey, maybe this one... you totally are misunderstood and worthless!
Body: no yo, not that....
Energy: hardly...
Brain: maybe this one?? ... you suck, judgement, hate, etc etc etc!!
Body: no yo, stop trying to guess idiot...
Energy: No.
Brain: It's them... it's their fault, maybe they are feeling horrible, let's blame them!
Body: at least that's a better guess
Energy: No.
Brain... well fuck... where's all this fucking static coming from? Let's jump off the roof and die.
Body: WTF is wrong with you, chill out Brain.
Energy: Feel this!!!
Brain: oh please, why me????!!!!! Maybe it's a sun flare?
Body: *rolls eyes
Energy: ARRRGHHH!!!
Brain: we should meditate or play farm hero saga for a few hours.
Body: let's do that, both of those.
Energy: wait, what?
Brain: oh good... I think it's gone.
Body: I feel better... I think...
Energy: *numb
Brain: maybe someone I know died
Body: *pulls down curtains
Energy: I feel dead... ugh
Brain: can we not do that again... that sucked... we should watch the news...
Body: I feel completely wiped...that felt terrible.
Energy: *faceplants
Power surge of the not so friendly kind... ugh...
______________________________________________
Projects...
about those...
... they are in progress...
I don't have work orders tomorrow, so going to chill...
and maybe get the youngest out of the house for a few hours.
Will work on at least one of these projects! FUN!
Daily dose of 10 things I love:
colors, bunches of colors
warm blankets
super tiny cute knicknacks
the dark
the forest
little houses
writing
cats
dragons
storms (the worse, the better)
Monday, November 26, 2018
All. Of. The. Epic.
The Universe will send you your inheritance when it can find you.
Stop hiding from it.
...from yourself...
Stop being the God that walks with his face down.
The one that moves aside when others pass.
The one that agrees, so as not to be a bother.
The one that has given reign to fear.
Do Not bow.
God does not need to hide.
Heaven does not bow to earth.
All the abundance of heaven is yours...
If you don't look like you have good things...or money...or health...
it's because the Universe can't find you.
It can't recognize you.
It's waiting for you to 'be' you.
Stop wearing your masks of mediocrity.
Stop wearing the robes of good enough.
Stop covering yourself with 'I'm fine.'
Stop telling yourself 'no'.
If you were in a jar looking upwards... and the universe were trying to give you an elephant of good things (desires, rewards, dreams)... it couldn't give it to you while you were still in the jar (your fear).
The Universe is not going to shrink itself down to the size of your fears.
You can earn good things...
or
you can just receive them.
Effort stimulates momentum if you are a human 'doing' or 'having'.
To be a human 'being', you have to be effortless.
Allow yourself. All of yourself.
Love yourself. All of yourself.
Completely relinquish the outcome.
Untether from the 'how'.
Allow it all to happen, not make it happen.
You can only attract energy, not earn it.
Go past your desires and they will already belong to you.
Make decisions from where you want to be, not from where you are.
Unhook from low vibrations.
Doing what you want, leads you to the higher vibrations.
Doing what you don't want leads to the lower.
Discard the old and worn out.
Invite the new.
When you live broken, worn, scattered (in pieces)... your life is broken, your bank account, your relationships, your self, your decisions, your desires... are broken, worn, and scattered
When you live fully, complete, and free (as one with yourself)... your life is full, your bank is full, your relationships, desires, decisions, your self... are full, complete, and free.
Everything in your life should be a 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10).
You are the average of the total... so if you have things that are a 6 (relationships) or 3 (money) or 4 (health) or 8 (goals) in your life...
Your life will be a 5... and nobody has time for that. You deserve better.
Your life can be a 10. Choose that.
If your life was a pool.... and you pee in part of the pool (have a 3 rating on your happiness)...
you pee in all of the pool, yo.
Become rich, by being rich (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become healthy, by being healthy (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become _____, by being ______ (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Question:
If you were a millionaire, would you try fixing the sewer line?
Answer:
Of course not (unless you were a millionaire plumber!). You'd get a plumber to do it.
So why are you trying to do things that are not who you are?
Why are you trying to find shortcuts and trickety-tricks to get/do things?
Why are you doing things you dislike?
Why are you wasting time doing things you don't love?
Why do you believe you are not worthy of what you need, what you want?
Why do you think any of your outer circumstances have anything to do with who you are?
Why do you not love yourself enough to give yourself the best?
Why do you deny yourself your own love? Your own forgiveness? Your own desires?
If you met the child you, would you tell them the things you tell yourself?
____________________________________________________________
You're welcome.
Stop hiding from it.
...from yourself...
Stop being the God that walks with his face down.
The one that moves aside when others pass.
The one that agrees, so as not to be a bother.
The one that has given reign to fear.
Do Not bow.
God does not need to hide.
Heaven does not bow to earth.
All the abundance of heaven is yours...
If you don't look like you have good things...or money...or health...
it's because the Universe can't find you.
It can't recognize you.
It's waiting for you to 'be' you.
Stop wearing your masks of mediocrity.
Stop wearing the robes of good enough.
Stop covering yourself with 'I'm fine.'
Stop telling yourself 'no'.
If you were in a jar looking upwards... and the universe were trying to give you an elephant of good things (desires, rewards, dreams)... it couldn't give it to you while you were still in the jar (your fear).
The Universe is not going to shrink itself down to the size of your fears.
You can earn good things...
or
you can just receive them.
Effort stimulates momentum if you are a human 'doing' or 'having'.
To be a human 'being', you have to be effortless.
Allow yourself. All of yourself.
Love yourself. All of yourself.
Completely relinquish the outcome.
Untether from the 'how'.
Allow it all to happen, not make it happen.
You can only attract energy, not earn it.
Go past your desires and they will already belong to you.
Make decisions from where you want to be, not from where you are.
Unhook from low vibrations.
Doing what you want, leads you to the higher vibrations.
Doing what you don't want leads to the lower.
Discard the old and worn out.
Invite the new.
When you live broken, worn, scattered (in pieces)... your life is broken, your bank account, your relationships, your self, your decisions, your desires... are broken, worn, and scattered
When you live fully, complete, and free (as one with yourself)... your life is full, your bank is full, your relationships, desires, decisions, your self... are full, complete, and free.
Everything in your life should be a 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10).
You are the average of the total... so if you have things that are a 6 (relationships) or 3 (money) or 4 (health) or 8 (goals) in your life...
Your life will be a 5... and nobody has time for that. You deserve better.
Your life can be a 10. Choose that.
If your life was a pool.... and you pee in part of the pool (have a 3 rating on your happiness)...
you pee in all of the pool, yo.
Become rich, by being rich (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become healthy, by being healthy (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Become _____, by being ______ (in thoughts/actions/emotions)
Question:
If you were a millionaire, would you try fixing the sewer line?
Answer:
Of course not (unless you were a millionaire plumber!). You'd get a plumber to do it.
So why are you trying to do things that are not who you are?
Why are you trying to find shortcuts and trickety-tricks to get/do things?
Why are you doing things you dislike?
Why are you wasting time doing things you don't love?
Why do you believe you are not worthy of what you need, what you want?
Why do you think any of your outer circumstances have anything to do with who you are?
Why do you not love yourself enough to give yourself the best?
Why do you deny yourself your own love? Your own forgiveness? Your own desires?
If you met the child you, would you tell them the things you tell yourself?
____________________________________________________________
You're welcome.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Creativity is your Currency
I am flesh and I am bone,
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
I got fire in my soul,
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
________________________________
There's a caravan passing through.
And they are travelers.
And they have room for another passenger.
The empty seat is calling.
These people are magic users.
They search for stories, for myths, for whispers.
To find their place in the world.
Where magic dwells
Where legends are born.
Where the thunder and the lightning kiss.
_________________________________
There's a void that lingers on the abrupt edge of the shallows.
Where the world ends.
The end of the world.
The End of the World.
It's the exact place that is not a place.
The exact place where everything, apart from you alone, exists.
And you realize...
You are the everything.
And the Heavens are you. You are Heaven.
And the world, merely what you are witnessing.
Merely you...in all your beings.
What did he say again?
ah... yes...
"Untether yourself.
... from what is apart from you.
... from what is solid to that which moves.
... from the earth, to the heavens."
And the weight of the world releases you as you step out into the dark.
and you float freely in this radiant space of nothingness.
and the tethers that bind you to the world make their presence known
and tug you, holding you to the earth...
and you witness them, and sever them... and float freely again.
until the next one that was longer yanks...
and you cut yourself loose from each one...
from every one...
until you are free.
until you are free.
_____________________________________
It only took forever...
but the creativity inside has awoken from it's 3 month slumber.
time to get started on a number of projects.
At least five of them.
One is artistic. (and magical, and colorful, and messily awesome!)
One is crafty. (and magical, and challenging, and income savy!)
One is tactical. (and logical, and patience building, and connective!)
One is insightful. (and humorous, and blunt, and inspiring!)
One is magic. (and visual, and emotional, and ordained!)
Can I get these done by the end of the year? ....
(always change 'can' to 'will')
Will I get these done by the end of the year? ...
1. yes
2. yes, but it's ongoing... it's done when I'm done doing it.
3. yes
4. yes
5. maybe... the beginning of it anyway, yes. It's not up to me.
_______________________________________
....this void...
the deep end, basically.
still discovering tethers...
and still unbinding myself from them....
even this morning...
and even the most profound attachments... the ones thought so important...
are being untied and unwound from this soul...
without hesitation...
because BoldAF.
and a little piece of yourself is uncovered from where the binding held you
there I am
<3
____________________________________________
Time is waiting for me.
Must go.
Got 5 projects to get to!
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
I got fire in my soul,
rise up, ting ting...
like Glitter and Gold.
________________________________
There's a caravan passing through.
And they are travelers.
And they have room for another passenger.
The empty seat is calling.
These people are magic users.
They search for stories, for myths, for whispers.
To find their place in the world.
Where magic dwells
Where legends are born.
Where the thunder and the lightning kiss.
_________________________________
There's a void that lingers on the abrupt edge of the shallows.
Where the world ends.
The end of the world.
The End of the World.
It's the exact place that is not a place.
The exact place where everything, apart from you alone, exists.
And you realize...
You are the everything.
And the Heavens are you. You are Heaven.
And the world, merely what you are witnessing.
Merely you...in all your beings.
What did he say again?
ah... yes...
"Untether yourself.
... from what is apart from you.
... from what is solid to that which moves.
... from the earth, to the heavens."
And the weight of the world releases you as you step out into the dark.
and you float freely in this radiant space of nothingness.
and the tethers that bind you to the world make their presence known
and tug you, holding you to the earth...
and you witness them, and sever them... and float freely again.
until the next one that was longer yanks...
and you cut yourself loose from each one...
from every one...
until you are free.
until you are free.
_____________________________________
It only took forever...
but the creativity inside has awoken from it's 3 month slumber.
time to get started on a number of projects.
At least five of them.
One is artistic. (and magical, and colorful, and messily awesome!)
One is crafty. (and magical, and challenging, and income savy!)
One is tactical. (and logical, and patience building, and connective!)
One is insightful. (and humorous, and blunt, and inspiring!)
One is magic. (and visual, and emotional, and ordained!)
Can I get these done by the end of the year? ....
(always change 'can' to 'will')
Will I get these done by the end of the year? ...
1. yes
2. yes, but it's ongoing... it's done when I'm done doing it.
3. yes
4. yes
5. maybe... the beginning of it anyway, yes. It's not up to me.
_______________________________________
....this void...
the deep end, basically.
still discovering tethers...
and still unbinding myself from them....
even this morning...
and even the most profound attachments... the ones thought so important...
are being untied and unwound from this soul...
without hesitation...
because BoldAF.
and a little piece of yourself is uncovered from where the binding held you
there I am
<3
____________________________________________
Time is waiting for me.
Must go.
Got 5 projects to get to!
Saturday, November 17, 2018
Thank you.... challenge much?
Dare for Nov 15th (yes, I know it's the 17th...but I'm waiting til the last minute yo...)
-- Write a Thank You note to 50 people. --
(do I even know 50 people?? what... sigh)
and what really is a thank you note?
Is it one of those lame things people write that all sound the same..?
because we are unavailable for lame shit.
We're only available for awesome. Even if others feel overpowered.
We're only available for deep. Even if others drown.
We're only available for real. Even if others are afraid of it.
We're only available for rich. Even if others can't handle the flavor.
Do we know 50 people...? It didn't say they had to be alive... awesome.
So here's this thing I'm doing because it shakes up that muck in the bottom of the ocean...
and you may not like it. and it may still come out lame sounding. and it might take awhile.
and perhaps those being thanked may not ever find this. and perhaps everything written will be construed into something entirely different than what was intended.... but that shit is life and it's all totally awesome for it to go down that way. I don't really give a fuck.
and nothing will be put in any order, because in my world there are six favorites...and I can guarantee you that one writes the shit, the other three never read it, and the other two aren't living in this dimension...sooooo.... no favorites for you.
Thank You to.....
1. Would it be lame to put Jesus first? Like he's just a given... and anyway... I don't think of him as being separate from anyone else... so would this be considered lumping the spirit all into one? Like would the angels and gods and devils also be lumped into this? They all are rather fascinating. And I love them all. -- But if I were to go separate ways with this and do it the 'normal'' (hack hack! I almost choked on that word...) way... He's awesome. Thank you for making an appearance and ripping my threshold for reality into shreds. Because now I base everything on those moments and everything falls exceedingly short. And thanks for the knowing of what it feels like to be in your presence... and for knowing what it feels like to not be. Fuck yes to all of you.... all of us.
That was long, these will totally get shorter. I promise. Maybe we can do 10 a day or something...?
2. My very good friend. Yes, you will be second on my list because I love you. Thank you for never judging me the way I sometimes judge myself. Thank you for never shaming or guilting my mistakes. Thank you for berating me when stupid shit comes from my mouth or thoughts and setting me straight. Thank you for being the mountain and the gentle breeze.
3. My youngest. Thank you for being wiser than me. For correcting my bad parenting and showing me that silence and patience are strengths and not weaknesses. That there's deeper parts of the soul and life that I still haven't ventured to. Thank you for your unlimited outlooks and perceptions only the seers of the world could ever be a part of. And for your silent expressions you have mastered, because words were never your thing.
4. My oldest. Thank you for being the fire. The truthspeaker and blazing energy of forced compassion. For fighting against anything that disturbs you. For speaking out. For using your power for good. Thank you for letting me see there's vibrancy to passion and for teaching me that chaos is beautiful. And for your ability to converse clearly on most days. And for sharing the new hip lingo with me.
5. To the guy I live with. Thank you for letting me witness you. For agreeing to my accompaniment with you through this life. For being the solid tower and not fleeing or bending. Thank you for witnessing me. Thank you for your willingness to let everything fall away from you, except me. Thank you for your harshness and rudeness and struggles... for being real and not hiding. Thank you for allowing me to see every ounce of your soul. I fucking love you, asshole.
6. To myself for obvious reasons. See number one.
I'm going to skip around now randomly...cause patience, yo.
7. To ....this is fucking hard... I have stuff to say, but don't want to give any of it ...fuck... WHY KYLE!!!???
7. To Kyle Cease for making me do this fucking bitch ass challenge. I hate it, and I love that. Thank you for making me directly face the hard shit. Cause BraveAF, yo. And I'm no longer available for bullshit or weak ass scary shit.
8. Thank you to the lady that was playing the ukelele on the side of the road yesterday. You made me smile and say 'Fuck Yes! I love her!'. Cause BraveAF is a real thing and you embodied it.
9. Thank you to the guy who said I was an Atlantian. This has been a fun thing to toy around with. I'm thoroughly enjoying my new heritage.
10. To the guy that asked for the earrings when I used to work at Walgreens. I don't know who/what you are or why you were really there... but I compare all otherworldly meetings to your visit. Thank you for the high vibes I literately drowned in.
11. To the psychic ladies that once ate at Hardee's and were trying to read my mind. Thank you for letting me know I wasn't alone in the land of dumbass blind ignorant humans.
12. Thank you to my sister's friend Rachel. For telling us about the trolls. Whatever awakening was to be had was started because of you sharing.
13. To Aunt Gay. For getting me books every time I went somewhere with you. For having those big dolls that you set up in the yard every Christmas. For being creative and batty at the same time. For your dog Keyla. She used to walk me to the park and back and never got lost. And Patty too.... cause she liked to play all the time.
14. To my dad. Thank you for not being available. Thank you for beginning the long stretch of people who would come to avoid me. Thank you for being you. For putting yourself first (not many people do), as I love that. Thank you for teaching me the importance of having two parents. Thank you for giving up your spot to my very good friend.
15. Thank you Hayao Miyasaki. For showing me that magic and blood and awesomeness are allowed on the screen. That magic doesn't have to be hidden...and neither does violence...or love...or truth.
16. To the Pini's. For ElfQuest. For almost the same reasons as above. ^^ but thank you for giving me the definition of a family. Of a tribe. Of a home.
17. To all of the peeps who showed up after I did that third eye opening thing. Holy fuck. Thank you for all that/this shit.
18. Thank you to David for telling the world to go fuck itself. Thank you for never complying. For putting yourself first. For struggling and being okay with it. Thank you for teaching me to ride a bike. Thank you for showing everyone that all of life is a choice... and there's no wrong choices.
19. To Jodi for your optimism. For your defined moments of irritation and excitement. For getting easily annoyed and easily making it turn around in your favor. For not tolerating bullshit. For deciding what you want and doing it. Yes, yes to all of that.
20. To those homeschool people I used to know. Thank you for showing me how fake and shallow people can be. Thank you for being cliche clones and helping me pinpoint every other clone on earth. Thank you for saying one thing but not living it, even if it was for your christ. Thank you for being an obstacle that I gained strength from.
is that enough for now? fuck yes it is... but I'm on a roll...
21. To mom. Thank you for humoring my outlooks and inspiring daredevil type perceptions. Thank you for recognizing bullshit when it comes. Thank you for ordering those scholastic books every month in school. Thank you for taking me out of that horrid place. Thank you for getting mad at them when they started doing dumb shit. It's great when you're mad, your power lives there.
22. Thank you to Steven for letting me hang out with you when we were kids. For doing that abrupt sigh when people ask for things, it lets them know you are giving in. For being a pushover and going with the flow for as long as you can. For resisting struggle. For slowly letting yourself be seen and heard. For doing weird stupid shit, cause it's funny.
23. To Judy. For being funny. For being sarcastic. For being quick witted and a smartass. Thank you for brushing everything that offends you off your shoulder like crumbs. For being a boss at tolerating others. Thank you for giving everyone permission to embarrass themselves.
24. To Ricky. For your ability to stay focused...at least until your bored with it. For pretending to be brave in front of people. For being honest with yourself in what you want. Thank you for giving me your Elfquest books....uhhh... unless you didn't and I just never gave them back...hmmm... Thank you for being funny at 3am and for always stacking my toys in sexual positions. For being annoying. For being chaotic. I feel you.
25. To Tony. Cause your cool. Thank you for playing mind games with people, it's fun. Thank you for being a smartass. And for being that silent, patient person that knows more than they want to.
26. To Andrea. For putting up with Steven. For doing what is right even when it sucks. For charging head on at anything that disturbs you. For being BoldAF and not shying away from bullshit. For your effort to create and to move yourself forward regardless.
27. Thank you Eric. For being a friend at one time. For not judging my weirdness. For always thinking I was cool. For not arguing with me almost never. Thank you for stepping away when you did...I probably made you, huh? Anyway, thank you for being my first and last friend.
28. To Don... for being annoying. Thank you for ignoring all other outside input except for your own. For taking care of mom. For being curious and always up for learning. For being stubborn.
29. To Uncle Lee. For always making me laugh when you tried to catch me as I passed your big chair.
30. To Tutu. For being you. Thank you for being terrified of hamsters, it was funny. For being witchy, cause we all need a bit of magic.
Um.... here's where we start to run out of people... I fucking hate people.
31. To Jason, for giving and giving. Thank you for helping us pay for things when we were brokeAF. For being supportive. For looking out for others before yourself.
32. To Dale? Thank you for being weird. For being passionate about weird stuff. I like that.
33. To Renee. Thank you for being sparkly and oozing with joyful goodness. For being so calm and clumsy. And for your neat ways of getting others to do things for you.
why the fuck do I only know family... this sucks... I'm so alone, lol. In a good way.
34. To the people who make snickers bars. These are so fucking good, especially if you haven't had one in a long time.
35. Krispie Kreme donuts... thank you for those delicacies of delight.
36. To Mercuriel for being patient. For never showing any sign of weariness. For handling things like a boss.
37. To the council. Thank you for finding me entertaining and/or fascinating. For usually voting for me versus against me.
38. Thank you to ShadowDragon Dreams. For giving me an outlet and challenge. For being one of those inspired things I didn't ever have to chase. Thank you for tapping out and topping out. Thank you for being okay with me retiring too.
39. Angel of MidKnight. Having multiple lives is so much better than just having this one. And yeah, there's more than just that world.
40. Killian O'Malley. Thank you for your soft crudeness. For your humor and vileness. For your honesty and lies.
this is boring... almost done now, sooo...
41.uuuuuuhhhhh.... fuck...to the word fuck. Both verb and noun and adjective.
42. to astral projection... weird.
43. empath abilities. thanks for fucking me over until I figured out what you were.
44. to the four seraphim. If I were afraid of anything, it'd be you.
45. to weird things I see out of the corner of my eye. thanks for making me feel crazy.
46. to the universe. obvious reasons. see number one.
47. to ufos. Thank you for not letting me see any for the past few years. I'm ready again. Let's go.
48. to solar eclipses. the most amazing thing ever.
49. to the moon. because heavenly thrones belong to the chosen
50. to heaven. and being the witness of this world while we dwell among you. see number one.
51. to life. to death. to the light. to the dark. and all of us inbetween.
fuck sakes, finally. I probably forgot people, but I don't care. Like speilberg, or studio ghibli, or other people I should be thanking for buying a script from me in the future. Disney, Pixar.?? Warner bros... blumhouse? Lionsgate? paramount?
ugh, dinner. I did the 50 so there you have it. marking this as complete.
-- Write a Thank You note to 50 people. --
(do I even know 50 people?? what... sigh)
and what really is a thank you note?
Is it one of those lame things people write that all sound the same..?
because we are unavailable for lame shit.
We're only available for awesome. Even if others feel overpowered.
We're only available for deep. Even if others drown.
We're only available for real. Even if others are afraid of it.
We're only available for rich. Even if others can't handle the flavor.
Do we know 50 people...? It didn't say they had to be alive... awesome.
So here's this thing I'm doing because it shakes up that muck in the bottom of the ocean...
and you may not like it. and it may still come out lame sounding. and it might take awhile.
and perhaps those being thanked may not ever find this. and perhaps everything written will be construed into something entirely different than what was intended.... but that shit is life and it's all totally awesome for it to go down that way. I don't really give a fuck.
and nothing will be put in any order, because in my world there are six favorites...and I can guarantee you that one writes the shit, the other three never read it, and the other two aren't living in this dimension...sooooo.... no favorites for you.
Thank You to.....
1. Would it be lame to put Jesus first? Like he's just a given... and anyway... I don't think of him as being separate from anyone else... so would this be considered lumping the spirit all into one? Like would the angels and gods and devils also be lumped into this? They all are rather fascinating. And I love them all. -- But if I were to go separate ways with this and do it the 'normal'' (hack hack! I almost choked on that word...) way... He's awesome. Thank you for making an appearance and ripping my threshold for reality into shreds. Because now I base everything on those moments and everything falls exceedingly short. And thanks for the knowing of what it feels like to be in your presence... and for knowing what it feels like to not be. Fuck yes to all of you.... all of us.
That was long, these will totally get shorter. I promise. Maybe we can do 10 a day or something...?
2. My very good friend. Yes, you will be second on my list because I love you. Thank you for never judging me the way I sometimes judge myself. Thank you for never shaming or guilting my mistakes. Thank you for berating me when stupid shit comes from my mouth or thoughts and setting me straight. Thank you for being the mountain and the gentle breeze.
3. My youngest. Thank you for being wiser than me. For correcting my bad parenting and showing me that silence and patience are strengths and not weaknesses. That there's deeper parts of the soul and life that I still haven't ventured to. Thank you for your unlimited outlooks and perceptions only the seers of the world could ever be a part of. And for your silent expressions you have mastered, because words were never your thing.
4. My oldest. Thank you for being the fire. The truthspeaker and blazing energy of forced compassion. For fighting against anything that disturbs you. For speaking out. For using your power for good. Thank you for letting me see there's vibrancy to passion and for teaching me that chaos is beautiful. And for your ability to converse clearly on most days. And for sharing the new hip lingo with me.
5. To the guy I live with. Thank you for letting me witness you. For agreeing to my accompaniment with you through this life. For being the solid tower and not fleeing or bending. Thank you for witnessing me. Thank you for your willingness to let everything fall away from you, except me. Thank you for your harshness and rudeness and struggles... for being real and not hiding. Thank you for allowing me to see every ounce of your soul. I fucking love you, asshole.
6. To myself for obvious reasons. See number one.
I'm going to skip around now randomly...cause patience, yo.
7. To ....this is fucking hard... I have stuff to say, but don't want to give any of it ...fuck... WHY KYLE!!!???
7. To Kyle Cease for making me do this fucking bitch ass challenge. I hate it, and I love that. Thank you for making me directly face the hard shit. Cause BraveAF, yo. And I'm no longer available for bullshit or weak ass scary shit.
8. Thank you to the lady that was playing the ukelele on the side of the road yesterday. You made me smile and say 'Fuck Yes! I love her!'. Cause BraveAF is a real thing and you embodied it.
9. Thank you to the guy who said I was an Atlantian. This has been a fun thing to toy around with. I'm thoroughly enjoying my new heritage.
10. To the guy that asked for the earrings when I used to work at Walgreens. I don't know who/what you are or why you were really there... but I compare all otherworldly meetings to your visit. Thank you for the high vibes I literately drowned in.
11. To the psychic ladies that once ate at Hardee's and were trying to read my mind. Thank you for letting me know I wasn't alone in the land of dumbass blind ignorant humans.
12. Thank you to my sister's friend Rachel. For telling us about the trolls. Whatever awakening was to be had was started because of you sharing.
13. To Aunt Gay. For getting me books every time I went somewhere with you. For having those big dolls that you set up in the yard every Christmas. For being creative and batty at the same time. For your dog Keyla. She used to walk me to the park and back and never got lost. And Patty too.... cause she liked to play all the time.
14. To my dad. Thank you for not being available. Thank you for beginning the long stretch of people who would come to avoid me. Thank you for being you. For putting yourself first (not many people do), as I love that. Thank you for teaching me the importance of having two parents. Thank you for giving up your spot to my very good friend.
15. Thank you Hayao Miyasaki. For showing me that magic and blood and awesomeness are allowed on the screen. That magic doesn't have to be hidden...and neither does violence...or love...or truth.
16. To the Pini's. For ElfQuest. For almost the same reasons as above. ^^ but thank you for giving me the definition of a family. Of a tribe. Of a home.
17. To all of the peeps who showed up after I did that third eye opening thing. Holy fuck. Thank you for all that/this shit.
18. Thank you to David for telling the world to go fuck itself. Thank you for never complying. For putting yourself first. For struggling and being okay with it. Thank you for teaching me to ride a bike. Thank you for showing everyone that all of life is a choice... and there's no wrong choices.
19. To Jodi for your optimism. For your defined moments of irritation and excitement. For getting easily annoyed and easily making it turn around in your favor. For not tolerating bullshit. For deciding what you want and doing it. Yes, yes to all of that.
20. To those homeschool people I used to know. Thank you for showing me how fake and shallow people can be. Thank you for being cliche clones and helping me pinpoint every other clone on earth. Thank you for saying one thing but not living it, even if it was for your christ. Thank you for being an obstacle that I gained strength from.
is that enough for now? fuck yes it is... but I'm on a roll...
21. To mom. Thank you for humoring my outlooks and inspiring daredevil type perceptions. Thank you for recognizing bullshit when it comes. Thank you for ordering those scholastic books every month in school. Thank you for taking me out of that horrid place. Thank you for getting mad at them when they started doing dumb shit. It's great when you're mad, your power lives there.
22. Thank you to Steven for letting me hang out with you when we were kids. For doing that abrupt sigh when people ask for things, it lets them know you are giving in. For being a pushover and going with the flow for as long as you can. For resisting struggle. For slowly letting yourself be seen and heard. For doing weird stupid shit, cause it's funny.
23. To Judy. For being funny. For being sarcastic. For being quick witted and a smartass. Thank you for brushing everything that offends you off your shoulder like crumbs. For being a boss at tolerating others. Thank you for giving everyone permission to embarrass themselves.
24. To Ricky. For your ability to stay focused...at least until your bored with it. For pretending to be brave in front of people. For being honest with yourself in what you want. Thank you for giving me your Elfquest books....uhhh... unless you didn't and I just never gave them back...hmmm... Thank you for being funny at 3am and for always stacking my toys in sexual positions. For being annoying. For being chaotic. I feel you.
25. To Tony. Cause your cool. Thank you for playing mind games with people, it's fun. Thank you for being a smartass. And for being that silent, patient person that knows more than they want to.
26. To Andrea. For putting up with Steven. For doing what is right even when it sucks. For charging head on at anything that disturbs you. For being BoldAF and not shying away from bullshit. For your effort to create and to move yourself forward regardless.
27. Thank you Eric. For being a friend at one time. For not judging my weirdness. For always thinking I was cool. For not arguing with me almost never. Thank you for stepping away when you did...I probably made you, huh? Anyway, thank you for being my first and last friend.
28. To Don... for being annoying. Thank you for ignoring all other outside input except for your own. For taking care of mom. For being curious and always up for learning. For being stubborn.
29. To Uncle Lee. For always making me laugh when you tried to catch me as I passed your big chair.
30. To Tutu. For being you. Thank you for being terrified of hamsters, it was funny. For being witchy, cause we all need a bit of magic.
Um.... here's where we start to run out of people... I fucking hate people.
31. To Jason, for giving and giving. Thank you for helping us pay for things when we were brokeAF. For being supportive. For looking out for others before yourself.
32. To Dale? Thank you for being weird. For being passionate about weird stuff. I like that.
33. To Renee. Thank you for being sparkly and oozing with joyful goodness. For being so calm and clumsy. And for your neat ways of getting others to do things for you.
why the fuck do I only know family... this sucks... I'm so alone, lol. In a good way.
34. To the people who make snickers bars. These are so fucking good, especially if you haven't had one in a long time.
35. Krispie Kreme donuts... thank you for those delicacies of delight.
36. To Mercuriel for being patient. For never showing any sign of weariness. For handling things like a boss.
37. To the council. Thank you for finding me entertaining and/or fascinating. For usually voting for me versus against me.
38. Thank you to ShadowDragon Dreams. For giving me an outlet and challenge. For being one of those inspired things I didn't ever have to chase. Thank you for tapping out and topping out. Thank you for being okay with me retiring too.
39. Angel of MidKnight. Having multiple lives is so much better than just having this one. And yeah, there's more than just that world.
40. Killian O'Malley. Thank you for your soft crudeness. For your humor and vileness. For your honesty and lies.
this is boring... almost done now, sooo...
41.uuuuuuhhhhh.... fuck...to the word fuck. Both verb and noun and adjective.
42. to astral projection... weird.
43. empath abilities. thanks for fucking me over until I figured out what you were.
44. to the four seraphim. If I were afraid of anything, it'd be you.
45. to weird things I see out of the corner of my eye. thanks for making me feel crazy.
46. to the universe. obvious reasons. see number one.
47. to ufos. Thank you for not letting me see any for the past few years. I'm ready again. Let's go.
48. to solar eclipses. the most amazing thing ever.
49. to the moon. because heavenly thrones belong to the chosen
50. to heaven. and being the witness of this world while we dwell among you. see number one.
51. to life. to death. to the light. to the dark. and all of us inbetween.
fuck sakes, finally. I probably forgot people, but I don't care. Like speilberg, or studio ghibli, or other people I should be thanking for buying a script from me in the future. Disney, Pixar.?? Warner bros... blumhouse? Lionsgate? paramount?
ugh, dinner. I did the 50 so there you have it. marking this as complete.
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
Breathe. All things are good.
Why on earth would people be complacent to do the same things..
over and over...?
Like a job?
Doing the same task... tasks... the same the same...
fucking boring...
are you really okay with being a robot?
a machine?
a program?
one that can only do this and not that...
or all of this...
but only this...
How does a master remain a master and be fed?
fed with fresh food.
fresh inspiration.
new outlooks.
new growth.
Do trees stop growing?
Do rivers stop flowing?
Do the stars stop burning?
Does the earth stop turning?
Can you listen to the same song forever?
can you dance the same dance forever?
could you?
Would you?
Will you?
Not this one.
Not this one.
A star unafraid of burning out.
A forest unafraid of the fires.
A mountain unafraid of the earthquakes.
Embracing the chaos.
dance with me.
let's make love in the oasis of life.
You will find no fear in these eyes.
No thought of destruction.
Energy never dies.
and you chose to spend it with me.
Hallelujah...
_________________________________________
A creative outlet is required.
Like immediately.
Nothing calls out.
Everything dares not approach at the moment.
Perhaps hesitant of this force of glory.
Unsure of where the boundaries lie.
Oh...but you see... this is not for you timid ones...
what I offer is for the bold. and for the brave. and for those able to stand.
Dare you take my hand...?
_________________________________________
5 days.
and this soul laughs...
not in joy per se... not hardly.
more devious. suspicious. waiting for the pitch to hit me.
heaven has opened up.
and all these things are available.
and parts of me reach out to take bits and pieces...
and I've yet to know what they have obtained.
why does this soul plan things way before telling me... wtf.
feel it, I can... but know it... I know it'll be good and surprising
I know it will come at me like a cold ass wave I forgot was coming.
Invigorating.
Scary.
Confusing at first, but supreme in design after realization hits.
Amazing.
Terrifying.
Panic inducing.
Peace bringing.
and I say 'YES' to all of this.
because all beautiful things are caught in an unbreakable balance.
What will it be?
No clue.
But I accept.
Because BraveAF.
and the laughing.... just got a bit hysterical...
and I can tell they added something to it... to give it 'punch' they say...
and I hear their whispers... their giggles... snickers...
Their eyes are lit up like sparkling sunshine. Smiles across their faces.
Waiting to display this creation before me...
Like children.
I expect to be horrified and astounded.
I expect to join in their manic laughter and slightly cringe in terror.
I expect to be stricken with awe and tempted to run.
because I feel it coming...
and all these energies are sending out their warning...
and the council watches from behind some other layer they think I can't see.
and ... now they are giving glances to one another on how I knew...
and sighs... ah... I love them trying to make me forget they are there.
anyway...
what comes will be a test.
to see if BraveAF and BoldAF and AmazingAF will survive.
I know this.
And I know it will be equal to the fear.
The greater the fear, the greater the joy.
Yes.
Yes to all of this.
I accept.
Bring it before me.
I am ready. (and a slightly bit terrified..)
*thumbs up
^^^ now let's remember all that, yo. ^^^
I'll let you know what it is when it gets here!!
over and over...?
Like a job?
Doing the same task... tasks... the same the same...
fucking boring...
are you really okay with being a robot?
a machine?
a program?
one that can only do this and not that...
or all of this...
but only this...
How does a master remain a master and be fed?
fed with fresh food.
fresh inspiration.
new outlooks.
new growth.
Do trees stop growing?
Do rivers stop flowing?
Do the stars stop burning?
Does the earth stop turning?
Can you listen to the same song forever?
can you dance the same dance forever?
could you?
Would you?
Will you?
Not this one.
Not this one.
A star unafraid of burning out.
A forest unafraid of the fires.
A mountain unafraid of the earthquakes.
Embracing the chaos.
dance with me.
let's make love in the oasis of life.
You will find no fear in these eyes.
No thought of destruction.
Energy never dies.
and you chose to spend it with me.
Hallelujah...
_________________________________________
A creative outlet is required.
Like immediately.
Nothing calls out.
Everything dares not approach at the moment.
Perhaps hesitant of this force of glory.
Unsure of where the boundaries lie.
Oh...but you see... this is not for you timid ones...
what I offer is for the bold. and for the brave. and for those able to stand.
Dare you take my hand...?
_________________________________________
5 days.
and this soul laughs...
not in joy per se... not hardly.
more devious. suspicious. waiting for the pitch to hit me.
heaven has opened up.
and all these things are available.
and parts of me reach out to take bits and pieces...
and I've yet to know what they have obtained.
why does this soul plan things way before telling me... wtf.
feel it, I can... but know it... I know it'll be good and surprising
I know it will come at me like a cold ass wave I forgot was coming.
Invigorating.
Scary.
Confusing at first, but supreme in design after realization hits.
Amazing.
Terrifying.
Panic inducing.
Peace bringing.
and I say 'YES' to all of this.
because all beautiful things are caught in an unbreakable balance.
What will it be?
No clue.
But I accept.
Because BraveAF.
and the laughing.... just got a bit hysterical...
and I can tell they added something to it... to give it 'punch' they say...
and I hear their whispers... their giggles... snickers...
Their eyes are lit up like sparkling sunshine. Smiles across their faces.
Waiting to display this creation before me...
Like children.
I expect to be horrified and astounded.
I expect to join in their manic laughter and slightly cringe in terror.
I expect to be stricken with awe and tempted to run.
because I feel it coming...
and all these energies are sending out their warning...
and the council watches from behind some other layer they think I can't see.
and ... now they are giving glances to one another on how I knew...
and sighs... ah... I love them trying to make me forget they are there.
anyway...
what comes will be a test.
to see if BraveAF and BoldAF and AmazingAF will survive.
I know this.
And I know it will be equal to the fear.
The greater the fear, the greater the joy.
Yes.
Yes to all of this.
I accept.
Bring it before me.
I am ready. (and a slightly bit terrified..)
*thumbs up
^^^ now let's remember all that, yo. ^^^
I'll let you know what it is when it gets here!!
Friday, November 9, 2018
Not everyone will reach the summit.
Geez. My last post was on the second.
Where have I been all week?
... aligning the fuck out of my manifestation powers, biotch!
where else would I be...
of course... ya gotta watch your thoughts, yo
otherwise they give you exactly what you think...
yeah... about that.
those in the know.... know.
________________________________________________
This soul.
The one watching.
She sees the letters on the page, but is unable...
nay... unwilling to speak.
There's nothing for her to give.
Nothing she wants to anyway.
For the words would splash on your face
perhaps like spit.
or perhaps like a slobber.
or perhaps like the cold ocean.
and those would be your words.
Your words that couldn't see what you were given.
A splash of life and thrill.
of the kiss of love.
of the daring hand of the sea.
You would miss it.
Because you can't hear the moon.
And you can't feel the music.
And you can't see spirits.
You don't know her.
And you wonder why she stands patient beside you.
Wearing a mask... so as not to cause you suffering.
Wearing a cloak... so as not to blind you.
Killing herself... so as not to kill you.
No...
she stands there because she can't leave.
not that she doesn't want to.
_______________________________________________
crazy crazy crazy
It's evident that you can't come with me.
Not everyone is able to climb.
Not everyone is able to find their way.
Not everyone is like me.
... and they don't have what they need... not yet
This is where one departs from the other.
The place of ...
Goodbye.
Where have I been all week?
... aligning the fuck out of my manifestation powers, biotch!
where else would I be...
of course... ya gotta watch your thoughts, yo
otherwise they give you exactly what you think...
yeah... about that.
those in the know.... know.
________________________________________________
This soul.
The one watching.
She sees the letters on the page, but is unable...
nay... unwilling to speak.
There's nothing for her to give.
Nothing she wants to anyway.
For the words would splash on your face
perhaps like spit.
or perhaps like a slobber.
or perhaps like the cold ocean.
and those would be your words.
Your words that couldn't see what you were given.
A splash of life and thrill.
of the kiss of love.
of the daring hand of the sea.
You would miss it.
Because you can't hear the moon.
And you can't feel the music.
And you can't see spirits.
You don't know her.
And you wonder why she stands patient beside you.
Wearing a mask... so as not to cause you suffering.
Wearing a cloak... so as not to blind you.
Killing herself... so as not to kill you.
No...
she stands there because she can't leave.
not that she doesn't want to.
_______________________________________________
crazy crazy crazy
It's evident that you can't come with me.
Not everyone is able to climb.
Not everyone is able to find their way.
Not everyone is like me.
... and they don't have what they need... not yet
This is where one departs from the other.
The place of ...
Goodbye.
Friday, November 2, 2018
Next level me is not available for any delays.
Epiphany.
That realization that comes to you while you are conversing at random.
and your barriers and blockages and things that cast a shadow across your fucking portals...
are lit up like a christmas tree and you are like.
"oh. well fuck. No wonder!"
because you automatically just know shit.
and so you then absolutely know what needs to be done.
to unblock, unstick, unbarricade that glorious awesomeness...
and yeah... those steps aren't easy for everyone...
but luckily... I am me... and I'm BraveAF.
and FearlessAF
and this shit is incredibly fun for me.
So... off we go to take said actions that are recommended for the commencement
of super saiyan jedi universal flow.
and AlignedAF will be the next phase of this story.
Cause I write as I go...and it will be fabulous!
____________________________________
so I spent an hour or so taking care of ^^^ all that ^^^
I feel like a smile.
like a dance.
like a laugh.
and this is real life.
______________________________________
looks like christmas is going up this weekend
YAY!
feels like Christmas today, lol!
I released blockages and entered some screenwriting contests.
Long live the Queen!
Huzzah!
All you need is love!
Love for yourself, yo!
Love is all you need!
Love yourself like you deserve.
....
how many fruit roll-ups can you eat before you turn red?
hmmm...
I love Halloween candy.
It tastes better than other candy... why is that?
it tastes a specific way too.
*shrugs
there's these fruit assortment things I get at Publix...
and they are usually this lovely price of over $5...
at least for the ones with berries in it.
and I'm complimenting the fact that the one with berries in it, tastes absolutely delectable.
yes it does.
The oldest and I are the only ones who eats them, and the berry batch wont last through tomorrow.
but holy moly... it is delicious. I'm glad I bought it.
I'm glad. Because those berries reminded me of the greatness we all deserve.
The sweetness. the juiciness. The fruit of life.
We deserve that, yo. You deserve that.
Go out and get it.
Stop blocking yourself.
Stop building barricades between you and your desires.
Stop making yourself available for all the bullshit.
like doubt, fear, shame, regret, lies you tell yourself....
Open the doors... Shine the light.
Don't be skeptical of your greatness.
Trust, yo.
_________________________________
_______________________________
___________________________________
I just realized that maybe that venture into the Inner Realm...
was a precurser to 3-dimensional action...
like... mirror image... but a few days later...
cause of refraction or some shit... idk, I'm just spouting science-y lingo...
cause it sounds cool.
(This is awesome!!! )
Last year I was hanging at DisneyWorld.
And this year I visited Hollywood, USA.
next year is a mystery...
but I'm sure there's something involving the Smithsonian and the beach on the roster.
the hotel we go to usually sends me this fantastic deal during the holidays...
so I'll jump on that when it comes..
And well... Smithsonian might be a spring thing.
The trees will look pretty in DC by then.
Photo op, yo!
And I'm anticipating doing some odd and end photoshoots.
like really odd...
for a calendar or two...
Haven't started another screenplay yet...
still waiting for readers for Victory to get back with me...
except the two that finally did...
but they don't like my lenient mother mouse, LOL!
because teaching kids that not all mothers are assholes is evidently a no-go, LOL!
cultural conditioning is impeding my expansion...lol.
so waiting for feedback from the others willing... we'll see.
Outta here, got some book reading to attend to.
Sky monsters of the highlands must scour their graves for the bones of the fairies..
and breathe life unto them once again...and they shall rise...and conquer their foes..
Carry a flashlight and a switch and hope, just hope, they spare your life.
Offering them a gumdrop usually works, btw.
The sky monsters like drums.... so play for them...play for them...
pa rum pa pum pum.
____EEEkkk there was a raccoon on my porch today!!!! LOVE <3
That realization that comes to you while you are conversing at random.
and your barriers and blockages and things that cast a shadow across your fucking portals...
are lit up like a christmas tree and you are like.
"oh. well fuck. No wonder!"
because you automatically just know shit.
and so you then absolutely know what needs to be done.
to unblock, unstick, unbarricade that glorious awesomeness...
and yeah... those steps aren't easy for everyone...
but luckily... I am me... and I'm BraveAF.
and FearlessAF
and this shit is incredibly fun for me.
So... off we go to take said actions that are recommended for the commencement
of super saiyan jedi universal flow.
and AlignedAF will be the next phase of this story.
Cause I write as I go...and it will be fabulous!
____________________________________
so I spent an hour or so taking care of ^^^ all that ^^^
I feel like a smile.
like a dance.
like a laugh.
and this is real life.
______________________________________
looks like christmas is going up this weekend
YAY!
feels like Christmas today, lol!
I released blockages and entered some screenwriting contests.
Long live the Queen!
Huzzah!
All you need is love!
Love for yourself, yo!
Love is all you need!
Love yourself like you deserve.
....
how many fruit roll-ups can you eat before you turn red?
hmmm...
I love Halloween candy.
It tastes better than other candy... why is that?
it tastes a specific way too.
*shrugs
there's these fruit assortment things I get at Publix...
and they are usually this lovely price of over $5...
at least for the ones with berries in it.
and I'm complimenting the fact that the one with berries in it, tastes absolutely delectable.
yes it does.
The oldest and I are the only ones who eats them, and the berry batch wont last through tomorrow.
but holy moly... it is delicious. I'm glad I bought it.
I'm glad. Because those berries reminded me of the greatness we all deserve.
The sweetness. the juiciness. The fruit of life.
We deserve that, yo. You deserve that.
Go out and get it.
Stop blocking yourself.
Stop building barricades between you and your desires.
Stop making yourself available for all the bullshit.
like doubt, fear, shame, regret, lies you tell yourself....
Open the doors... Shine the light.
Don't be skeptical of your greatness.
Trust, yo.
_________________________________
_______________________________
___________________________________
I just realized that maybe that venture into the Inner Realm...
was a precurser to 3-dimensional action...
like... mirror image... but a few days later...
cause of refraction or some shit... idk, I'm just spouting science-y lingo...
cause it sounds cool.
(This is awesome!!! )
Last year I was hanging at DisneyWorld.
And this year I visited Hollywood, USA.
next year is a mystery...
but I'm sure there's something involving the Smithsonian and the beach on the roster.
the hotel we go to usually sends me this fantastic deal during the holidays...
so I'll jump on that when it comes..
And well... Smithsonian might be a spring thing.
The trees will look pretty in DC by then.
Photo op, yo!
And I'm anticipating doing some odd and end photoshoots.
like really odd...
for a calendar or two...
Haven't started another screenplay yet...
still waiting for readers for Victory to get back with me...
except the two that finally did...
but they don't like my lenient mother mouse, LOL!
because teaching kids that not all mothers are assholes is evidently a no-go, LOL!
cultural conditioning is impeding my expansion...lol.
so waiting for feedback from the others willing... we'll see.
Outta here, got some book reading to attend to.
Sky monsters of the highlands must scour their graves for the bones of the fairies..
and breathe life unto them once again...and they shall rise...and conquer their foes..
Carry a flashlight and a switch and hope, just hope, they spare your life.
Offering them a gumdrop usually works, btw.
The sky monsters like drums.... so play for them...play for them...
pa rum pa pum pum.
____EEEkkk there was a raccoon on my porch today!!!! LOVE <3
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
The Soul of magic.
This guy...
he's decked out in mostly gold, but is able to mirage himself to a silvery color too.
He has on this gold headpiece with fractal designs sticking off the top, cut in
a circular form. Eyes are covered. Long golden hair.
-- "I am Divinity of Light. One who leads you through shadow."
He's fascinating.
and very vocal. Like doesn't have an issue speaking...
or I don't have an issue hearing him, right...
So this venture with him... this new guide... wowsa..
-- "Do you believe in magic?" He asks.
and I'm like, what a stupid question... um.. yeah!
-- "Then why do you hold your power at bay?"
what a way to shut my ass up...
I am such a child, lol. I love this.
and he continues (without being prompted! How rare is that, yo!)
-- "There are doors, but you have few, and those that are open shall be filled with glorious light.
The light can shine in, but it is a haven when it shines outward from within."
He takes me before this large (huge ass) golden doorway (no door, more like a portal with a threshold). Around it is a sea with rocks sticking up out of it. Dark cloudy/misty skies.
The gold doorway hangs in the air.
And where does that lead? I ask him.
-- "To the Inner Realm." He says...
and this doorway is like a liquid (kinda like in those sci fi shows... like stargate, but not brightly lit. It's a reflective liquid) and I touch it and it ripples...
I step inside and the other side is a direct reflection of the other, exact mirror image.
I turn around. and it is what he said it was. The Inner Realm.
There are doorways/portals. Two were completely open with light shining on them fully, one was partial open/partial lit. The others were what I would call 'ajar'... there were walls blocking most of the light from the center from shining onto those doorways.
The walls were small, like door size and they moved on a center pole (so the basically could rotate)
and facing one way they blocked the light from hitting the door, if you turn it, the light moves past the wall and hits the door...
fyi -- these door/portal things are chakra based, I'm pretty sure.
So I was walking around in this realm place and we stopped before one and I turned the wall...
and the light began hitting the door...and the door began to open on it's own, like become filled with light.
And each wall represents like a blockage that keeps you from becoming more (open?)?? or something...
but as you stand at each wall, you already know what they represent for yourself and you have
the choice to leave them or turn them to allow the light to hit the doors.
So I went around and fucking turned then all... #FearlessAF #BoldAF
there was also a pillar in there, all black, like marble... and I threw it into the light center...
it disappeared...
So this dude didn't even try to stop me, lol.
I was literately on the fine edge between being bold and wreckless. It felt great.
And when you suddenly move a wall, 'because we aren't having this shit in our way anymore'...
there's this fantastic surge of some energy shit in that matching chakra...
I'm not even kidding.
In shorter terms... what did I do?
I fucking got lit.
and now I see that this dude's headpiece looks almost exactly like this inner realm place....wtf.
So that was my adventure as of late.
___________________________________________________________
Tomorrow is Halloween!!!
end of October.
Wednesday.
I feel a jump coming on.
Like walking up to the ledge... and you're already ready to go..
but you can't for the life of you remember why you're here...
how you got here...
what it is for...
or where you're planning to get to...
or what you'll do once you're there...
How's that for planning!
But...yeah....
you're still going to jump...
because, why not?
thrill of the unknown.
thrill of allowing fear and laughing at it.
oh hell yes.
more of that please!
More of all of this. Fuck yes.
so let's get realllllllllllllll......
funny how the little letter l on here looks like the number 1
that's how you get away with posting copyrighted shit on ebay and etsy...
you type GRINCH in as GRlNCH or GR1NCH
and the Dr. Suess people leave you alone...
not that I have EVER done that.
anyway... back on track here...
cause this train of thought is chugging...
erratically at best... whiskey..bourbon...
I don't even drink, but I like to pretend.
and taste...
I'm still regretting not getting a glowing drink from Pandora.
cause it glows...
and glowing things make me smile.
and it's an alien drink, yo.
I'm all for aliens.
and totally ready to be seeing ufo's again.
anyway.... getting reallllll
and leaving white space for you,so it doesn't look like a bunch of rambling...
which it probably will be. FUN!
Do you kow how when you want to do something fun and crazy
and exciting and BoldAF...
and you want others to come along...
but...
you don't have anyone to come along...
because it's way too crazy for them.
too fun.
too exciting that it all feels like fear
(fyi -- fear and excitement feel exactly the same in your body, yo!)
too bold. too too too TOO much of something
and they are not friends with your other friend..
the one named Trust.
and they can't even understand the concept of 'winging it'.
cause they believe they can't fly...
how sad.
Back on track... kinda..
I'm gonna do some BoldAF shit.
I hope you will consider your options.
While I wreak havoc across this plane of existence.
I am excited!!!!!
_________________________________
_______________________________________
_____________________________________________
in other news...
My brain wants to produce something...
-- perhaps in exchange for money...
but my soul is like...
"WTF! No, we don't."
and the brain is like...
-- make money! sell shit! you can paint, you can do something!
and soul is like...
"STFU. No."
and brain is like...
-- but we have time! more money is fun! you are not being productive!
and soul is like..
"I am going to sit with this and love it. And we will do nothing."
and brain is like..
-- sit?! are you being lazy? you can think of something! you are useless.
and soul is like..
"How cute. I love this show."
and brain is like...
-- this isn't a show! you are able to work more and make more money!
and soul is like..
"Do you want to go get a taco?"
and brain is like...
-- build something! you are wasting time! you could do so much with yourself!
and soul is like...
"We haven't had tacos in like a month, yo. We could get tacos and then ponder a script."
and brain is like...
-- writing doesn't make money! stop wasting your life! you could be paying off bills, not buying tacos!
and soul is like...
"I love brain. I love writing. I love tacos too."
and brain is like...
-- I hate you both.
So what am I doing today...
Going to get some tacos and pondering a script. <3
and stepping up to the ledge...
and BoldAF is my new best friend.
I'll chat with you later!
Tata rosy pink hairdos of afro gel and maraca tartar sauce sundaes.
Lick that shit with your fire hot tongue and spit out the seeds of futility.
Ain't nothing worth suffering for.
he's decked out in mostly gold, but is able to mirage himself to a silvery color too.
He has on this gold headpiece with fractal designs sticking off the top, cut in
a circular form. Eyes are covered. Long golden hair.
-- "I am Divinity of Light. One who leads you through shadow."
He's fascinating.
and very vocal. Like doesn't have an issue speaking...
or I don't have an issue hearing him, right...
So this venture with him... this new guide... wowsa..
-- "Do you believe in magic?" He asks.
and I'm like, what a stupid question... um.. yeah!
-- "Then why do you hold your power at bay?"
what a way to shut my ass up...
I am such a child, lol. I love this.
and he continues (without being prompted! How rare is that, yo!)
-- "There are doors, but you have few, and those that are open shall be filled with glorious light.
The light can shine in, but it is a haven when it shines outward from within."
He takes me before this large (huge ass) golden doorway (no door, more like a portal with a threshold). Around it is a sea with rocks sticking up out of it. Dark cloudy/misty skies.
The gold doorway hangs in the air.
And where does that lead? I ask him.
-- "To the Inner Realm." He says...
and this doorway is like a liquid (kinda like in those sci fi shows... like stargate, but not brightly lit. It's a reflective liquid) and I touch it and it ripples...
I step inside and the other side is a direct reflection of the other, exact mirror image.
I turn around. and it is what he said it was. The Inner Realm.
There are doorways/portals. Two were completely open with light shining on them fully, one was partial open/partial lit. The others were what I would call 'ajar'... there were walls blocking most of the light from the center from shining onto those doorways.
The walls were small, like door size and they moved on a center pole (so the basically could rotate)
and facing one way they blocked the light from hitting the door, if you turn it, the light moves past the wall and hits the door...
fyi -- these door/portal things are chakra based, I'm pretty sure.
So I was walking around in this realm place and we stopped before one and I turned the wall...
and the light began hitting the door...and the door began to open on it's own, like become filled with light.
And each wall represents like a blockage that keeps you from becoming more (open?)?? or something...
but as you stand at each wall, you already know what they represent for yourself and you have
the choice to leave them or turn them to allow the light to hit the doors.
So I went around and fucking turned then all... #FearlessAF #BoldAF
there was also a pillar in there, all black, like marble... and I threw it into the light center...
it disappeared...
So this dude didn't even try to stop me, lol.
I was literately on the fine edge between being bold and wreckless. It felt great.
And when you suddenly move a wall, 'because we aren't having this shit in our way anymore'...
there's this fantastic surge of some energy shit in that matching chakra...
I'm not even kidding.
In shorter terms... what did I do?
I fucking got lit.
and now I see that this dude's headpiece looks almost exactly like this inner realm place....wtf.
So that was my adventure as of late.
___________________________________________________________
Tomorrow is Halloween!!!
end of October.
Wednesday.
I feel a jump coming on.
Like walking up to the ledge... and you're already ready to go..
but you can't for the life of you remember why you're here...
how you got here...
what it is for...
or where you're planning to get to...
or what you'll do once you're there...
How's that for planning!
But...yeah....
you're still going to jump...
because, why not?
thrill of the unknown.
thrill of allowing fear and laughing at it.
oh hell yes.
more of that please!
More of all of this. Fuck yes.
so let's get realllllllllllllll......
funny how the little letter l on here looks like the number 1
that's how you get away with posting copyrighted shit on ebay and etsy...
you type GRINCH in as GRlNCH or GR1NCH
and the Dr. Suess people leave you alone...
not that I have EVER done that.
anyway... back on track here...
cause this train of thought is chugging...
erratically at best... whiskey..bourbon...
I don't even drink, but I like to pretend.
and taste...
I'm still regretting not getting a glowing drink from Pandora.
cause it glows...
and glowing things make me smile.
and it's an alien drink, yo.
I'm all for aliens.
and totally ready to be seeing ufo's again.
anyway.... getting reallllll
and leaving white space for you,so it doesn't look like a bunch of rambling...
which it probably will be. FUN!
Do you kow how when you want to do something fun and crazy
and exciting and BoldAF...
and you want others to come along...
but...
you don't have anyone to come along...
because it's way too crazy for them.
too fun.
too exciting that it all feels like fear
(fyi -- fear and excitement feel exactly the same in your body, yo!)
too bold. too too too TOO much of something
and they are not friends with your other friend..
the one named Trust.
and they can't even understand the concept of 'winging it'.
cause they believe they can't fly...
how sad.
Back on track... kinda..
I'm gonna do some BoldAF shit.
I hope you will consider your options.
While I wreak havoc across this plane of existence.
I am excited!!!!!
_________________________________
_______________________________________
_____________________________________________
in other news...
My brain wants to produce something...
-- perhaps in exchange for money...
but my soul is like...
"WTF! No, we don't."
and the brain is like...
-- make money! sell shit! you can paint, you can do something!
and soul is like...
"STFU. No."
and brain is like...
-- but we have time! more money is fun! you are not being productive!
and soul is like..
"I am going to sit with this and love it. And we will do nothing."
and brain is like..
-- sit?! are you being lazy? you can think of something! you are useless.
and soul is like..
"How cute. I love this show."
and brain is like...
-- this isn't a show! you are able to work more and make more money!
and soul is like..
"Do you want to go get a taco?"
and brain is like...
-- build something! you are wasting time! you could do so much with yourself!
and soul is like...
"We haven't had tacos in like a month, yo. We could get tacos and then ponder a script."
and brain is like...
-- writing doesn't make money! stop wasting your life! you could be paying off bills, not buying tacos!
and soul is like...
"I love brain. I love writing. I love tacos too."
and brain is like...
-- I hate you both.
So what am I doing today...
Going to get some tacos and pondering a script. <3
and stepping up to the ledge...
and BoldAF is my new best friend.
I'll chat with you later!
Tata rosy pink hairdos of afro gel and maraca tartar sauce sundaes.
Lick that shit with your fire hot tongue and spit out the seeds of futility.
Ain't nothing worth suffering for.
Saturday, October 27, 2018
this could go on forever...
No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.
____________________________________________________
So...
I got my passport today... like ordered it...
4-6 weeks I'll have it...
but where am I going, you ask?
Any 'where' I want.
I still probably need to get other people's passports too..
cause they might want to come with...
....
new plan...
I finished Killian's script.
It will either be a short or it will be a series...
I'll have to wait... and when I edit it, I'll decide..
well... Killian will decide. It's not my job.
So now I have nothing to write...
but good news... book 6 is handing me pieces.
I might get to write it sooner than expected.
and I'll need to see which screenplay is next.
___________________________________________
Winter is coming.
And it gets dark like early... and will get dark earlier once time changes
What shall I do with this time...o'mine
Right now, going to read a short book.
Then possibly read through Laser Racers....maybe
maybe watch a movie instead...
no plans tomorrow
so either way, both will get done.
I did meet a new guide? today... ? maybe?
They are the reason I have to go read that short book...
'cause of synchronicities, yo...
when they say one thing to you and then you see a post that links to a book...
...that says the same thing... weirdAF, but I love it.
sooo..... yeeeeaaahhhh.....
that was rather fast.... O_O
why do I always say that?
like I expect them to all be slow asses who can't do their jobs like humans...
I'm impressed... there was like ZERO transition time... crazy weird.
welcome to my life
I'll share what they said if I find called to do so...
I'm rather on a Silence retreat atm....
Where one does not freely give out words.
Level 52 list thing.
Starting like an hour or two ago....
Will continue for 7 days.
It really has more to do with the urge to say something,
but you know the wind casts aside those words when the earth is turning...
and its best to only say something when the sun is shining and the ground is moist...
so the seeds can take root...
Like saying stuff to those people on certain facebook groups...
or saying stuff to teenagers...
or saying stuff to yourself...
Right now... Silence is the name of the game.
And I'm playing this round, thank you.
________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained;
and the restrainer, or Reason, usurps its place and governs the unwilling.
And being restrained it by degrees becomes passive, till it is only the shadow of desire.
~The Marriage of Heaven and Hell - William Blake
____________________________________________________
So...
I got my passport today... like ordered it...
4-6 weeks I'll have it...
but where am I going, you ask?
Any 'where' I want.
I still probably need to get other people's passports too..
cause they might want to come with...
....
new plan...
I finished Killian's script.
It will either be a short or it will be a series...
I'll have to wait... and when I edit it, I'll decide..
well... Killian will decide. It's not my job.
So now I have nothing to write...
but good news... book 6 is handing me pieces.
I might get to write it sooner than expected.
and I'll need to see which screenplay is next.
___________________________________________
Winter is coming.
And it gets dark like early... and will get dark earlier once time changes
What shall I do with this time...o'mine
Right now, going to read a short book.
Then possibly read through Laser Racers....maybe
maybe watch a movie instead...
no plans tomorrow
so either way, both will get done.
I did meet a new guide? today... ? maybe?
They are the reason I have to go read that short book...
'cause of synchronicities, yo...
when they say one thing to you and then you see a post that links to a book...
...that says the same thing... weirdAF, but I love it.
sooo..... yeeeeaaahhhh.....
that was rather fast.... O_O
why do I always say that?
like I expect them to all be slow asses who can't do their jobs like humans...
I'm impressed... there was like ZERO transition time... crazy weird.
welcome to my life
I'll share what they said if I find called to do so...
I'm rather on a Silence retreat atm....
Where one does not freely give out words.
Level 52 list thing.
Starting like an hour or two ago....
Will continue for 7 days.
It really has more to do with the urge to say something,
but you know the wind casts aside those words when the earth is turning...
and its best to only say something when the sun is shining and the ground is moist...
so the seeds can take root...
Like saying stuff to those people on certain facebook groups...
or saying stuff to teenagers...
or saying stuff to yourself...
Right now... Silence is the name of the game.
And I'm playing this round, thank you.
________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained;
and the restrainer, or Reason, usurps its place and governs the unwilling.
And being restrained it by degrees becomes passive, till it is only the shadow of desire.
~The Marriage of Heaven and Hell - William Blake
Friday, October 26, 2018
A space... to be filled
And even though we ain't got money
I'm so in love with you honey
And everything will bring a chain of love
And in the mornin' when I rise
Bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright....
I'm so in love with you honey
And everything will bring a chain of love
And in the mornin' when I rise
Bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright....
__________________________________________
"They will come to you when a certain cup needs filled...
... Just because they are having coffee today...
... or want a shot of whiskey...
... doesn't mean they don't love water when it matters."
^^^ that right there...
these are the words...
and I've waited many moons to hear them.
....
There's no real way to tell how things work...
between this world and that one...
but there's no greater connection than knowing they are one in the same.
The same in one.
And when you get a glimpse of yourself... that self that surrounds this body...
and you know what you are meant to be.
and don't even bother wondering why...
you just know..
and they ask... they ask that one question that tells you
that you are going on to the next level...
but also that you are leaving this one...
and you answer it the same as you always have...
"Do you accept?"
--- "Yes. I accept."
and you know your guide, no matter how short their time with you was...
will be letting you move forward without them as another walks you through the next phase.
and you'll miss him. This creature, this angel with the blue feathers that is timid about showing his face....
You'll miss The Weather. The Movement between spaces. Energy without form, but that which transforms...
and you'll always know that you are The Space. The Space that holds the All. The Seer.
I'm honored to have walked with you. Thank you.
...
and the council... or whoever they are... I saw them watching as the acceptance was taken...
checking in on me, as their usual routine when something shifts...
they are so intrigued...
_______________________________________________
So tomorrow there's a passport fair at the post office.
I might show up there.
There's an art fair up the road, so I might show up there too.
Otherwise, I'll be dealing with #AIS
which stands for the term 'Ass In Seat'
because I have a screenplay to finish, yo.
assuming I don't finish it tonight.
Because that's how I roll... (sometimes)
I just do the shit and get it done *PERIOD!
after I sufficiantly filled my need for procrastinating.
because the last minute is where I work best...
the only time I work actually, lol.
I'm eager to get it done, cause there's another one right behind it!
And I need readers for 2 other scripts if you feel like reading a screenplay.
I would love some feedback.
Prefer someone with strong visual capabilities and likes animation movies.
Hit me up if you would like a go.
Victory is 74 pages. (kids - animation)
in the short... about a mouse with creative skills and learning to believe in himself.
Jax and Stormy are my fav characters!!! <3 (Stormy needs her own show, imho)
Laser Racers is near 100 pages. (animation)
about a girl joining a team of racers and being supported by them during her family's struggle.
Jet and Em and Tripp and oooohhhh I love everyone in this one!!! <3
The Fox Prince (animation) needs rehashed...off the market atm.
Killian will be done soon... (comedy/thriller - live action)
Bad mouthed leprechaun and batty old lady, maybe a bit violent. It's Ted meets Scream parody thing... idk wtf it is. Not done yet... maybe a series... cause it might be too short for a feature length.
and Killian still doesn't know what he wants to do with his life.
Sky Thunder - coming soon. (Or just Thunder.... not sure yet.) Dragons!!! animation
Under - coming soon... animation - Think ocean and family that lives on a submarine.
(untitled) - animation coming soon... two fox brothers and the mountain
(untitled) - live action.. coming soon... creatures in the night that play music, with the girl and the queen of the wild.
Mystery Machine - (might have to change the name), family comedy, live action - parents searching for their kids go on an adventure
(untitled) - drama - live action - in wilderness...people die, kids involved, man must become hero.
Aranea - live action, sci-fi thriller - sexy never tasted so good... ;) think alien spiders
....there are more.... but one of these will be next in line.... feel free to share your votes
I want to write one based on a story someone else wrote too. I will ask them.
____________________________________
So yeah, don't be a shy pigeon...
BoldAF is the new black.
Love you.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Sparkling sunshine....don't rain on my parade...
For your reading enjoyment...
assuming you have read the others....
http://www.lulu.com/shop/jennifer-coots/light-and-shadow/hardcover/product-23848515.html
I think it takes just as long to find a cover pic as writing it....
feels like it anyway...
Book 6 is in the oven.... so, no worries when you make it to the end and go WTF, Jennifer!?
... eh.... you might say that somewhere around page 50, actually...
anyway.... it is finished.... except for all the misspellings and crap I missed. *shrugs
Want a copy, it costs $30 through me (includes shipping)...or $35 (plus shipping) if you buy it direct from lulu.
I still accept donations and trades.... I ***LOVE*** surprises in the mail, yo. <3
Hit me up.
Killian, on page 12 of script.
Still planning to be done with it by the end of the month...
but hey, at least I started it! That's all I really needed.
Freaking earth energies are trying to dull my shine, but I'm playing along...
I can handle this shit.
I'm a fucking badass.... I just published another book, yo.
So kiss my ass, low vibing BS
__________________________________________________________
I don't think I have much else to write about today...
If something comes along, I'll pass it on to you.
Bunches of odd and ends that really don't connect....
Feeling disconnected???
Wonder what feng shui things I need to notice for that?
Should be fun, since I'm not doing anything right now before I have to cook.
You know, maybe it's the full moon...
or other people in this household...
fucking empath problems 101.... :/
Can we just not...
I finished the Naruto costume...
I'm astonished with myself actually... I sewed a jacket, yo.
Yawn.... I'm going to do something else...
It took like over 2 hours to find a freaking cover pic and get the cover done and I'm over it.
Later peeps.
assuming you have read the others....
http://www.lulu.com/shop/jennifer-coots/light-and-shadow/hardcover/product-23848515.html
I think it takes just as long to find a cover pic as writing it....
feels like it anyway...
Book 6 is in the oven.... so, no worries when you make it to the end and go WTF, Jennifer!?
... eh.... you might say that somewhere around page 50, actually...
anyway.... it is finished.... except for all the misspellings and crap I missed. *shrugs
Want a copy, it costs $30 through me (includes shipping)...or $35 (plus shipping) if you buy it direct from lulu.
I still accept donations and trades.... I ***LOVE*** surprises in the mail, yo. <3
Hit me up.
Killian, on page 12 of script.
Still planning to be done with it by the end of the month...
but hey, at least I started it! That's all I really needed.
Freaking earth energies are trying to dull my shine, but I'm playing along...
I can handle this shit.
I'm a fucking badass.... I just published another book, yo.
So kiss my ass, low vibing BS
__________________________________________________________
I don't think I have much else to write about today...
If something comes along, I'll pass it on to you.
Bunches of odd and ends that really don't connect....
Feeling disconnected???
Wonder what feng shui things I need to notice for that?
Should be fun, since I'm not doing anything right now before I have to cook.
You know, maybe it's the full moon...
or other people in this household...
fucking empath problems 101.... :/
Can we just not...
I finished the Naruto costume...
I'm astonished with myself actually... I sewed a jacket, yo.
Yawn.... I'm going to do something else...
It took like over 2 hours to find a freaking cover pic and get the cover done and I'm over it.
Later peeps.
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Master alchemist.
You spend 10,000 hours doing something...
what does that make you?...
it makes you a Master.
and that thing you do...
becomes natural...
second nature...
and it practically does itself.
Because you taught your body...
and it does the work for you...
like driving...
and pockets are no big deal.
and zippers are no big deal.
and ... everything else is no big deal...
except that the cat wants to help...
and you don't have blue thread....
or any white fabric...
because you don't do this work anymore...
but someone needs a costume...
and it's not even you...
(I totally finished fixing mine a long time ago)
and someone else grew 6 inches...
and needs an alteration/update on last years costume
.... but I just sewed a new one... cause easier, yo...
and so the craft...
is easy and I'm not trying to kill anything...
but I still don't want to...
so in an effort to defeat resistance...
I'm starting that script today.
Cause I want to, for reals... procrastination just likes to date me...
and book 5 will be done being edited tonight.
_____________________________________________
Mojo of the week...
I am fully supported.
I have a picture of cash money as my background on my phone...
like bundles of $10,000 stacks. I would guess over $1million.
Because reminders that we are given abundance freely are awesome.
Reminders that we are loved.
Seen. Heard. Cared for. Remembered. And complete.
And money feels good to me.
It reminds me that I can have it whenever I want.
No matter what anyone else thinks.
It reminds me that I can trust it.
That I can use it and it will never run out.
Because it can't and it won't.
No matter what material it comes in... it's mine whenever I want.
It does grow on trees. It does fall from the sky.
It does appear like magic. And it does revolve around me.
It is whatever I say it is.
It is given freely and fully.
It is received fully.
So my question for you... my dear padawans...
What do you say it is?
If you don't like what you say.... say something different.
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
I want to tell you a story.
Of creation.
Of the time before words spoke out across the darkness.
Before those ripples cast themselves outward and procured matter.
Before time and before light.
When energy sat in silence.
When it was motionless...
like still waters... and all it does is reflect a perfect mirror.
and the dark reflected dark reflected dark reflected dark...
oh but you see...
something changed... something moved... something became conscious.
and a thought rang out.
a thought. and the energy moved.
the energy moved and different wavelengths echoed...
it began to change colors... lights in the darkness... lights in the darkness...
and the energy moved and when it moved the matter clung to it like a magnet.
and the matter appeared to come alive.
with all this energy moving within it the matter charged, like static...
and it clung to itself... like static... and formations began to birth.
different energy frequencies produced different types of formations...
different molecules, different bonds... different elements...
and these products produced other products...
and the part of the energy carried out the thought... the consciousness...
and it too flowed into matter... and it became alive.
Those creatures moved upon the unmoving....
oh but we are all moving... even the rocks beneath your feet...
they are just slower.... they are just slower....
like when light is slower...and it appears dark...
and we are all still a reflection of the original darkness...
see see see...
You can go faster or slower...
because you are the thought, the consciousness...
You can choose...
Because you hold a piece of that original thought..
Make your own rules, or none at all.
Make magic if you want.
Make yourself amazing if you want.
You always had the power.
You still do.
Own that shit.
what does that make you?...
it makes you a Master.
and that thing you do...
becomes natural...
second nature...
and it practically does itself.
Because you taught your body...
and it does the work for you...
like driving...
and pockets are no big deal.
and zippers are no big deal.
and ... everything else is no big deal...
except that the cat wants to help...
and you don't have blue thread....
or any white fabric...
because you don't do this work anymore...
but someone needs a costume...
and it's not even you...
(I totally finished fixing mine a long time ago)
and someone else grew 6 inches...
and needs an alteration/update on last years costume
.... but I just sewed a new one... cause easier, yo...
and so the craft...
is easy and I'm not trying to kill anything...
but I still don't want to...
so in an effort to defeat resistance...
I'm starting that script today.
Cause I want to, for reals... procrastination just likes to date me...
and book 5 will be done being edited tonight.
_____________________________________________
Mojo of the week...
I am fully supported.
I have a picture of cash money as my background on my phone...
like bundles of $10,000 stacks. I would guess over $1million.
Because reminders that we are given abundance freely are awesome.
Reminders that we are loved.
Seen. Heard. Cared for. Remembered. And complete.
And money feels good to me.
It reminds me that I can have it whenever I want.
No matter what anyone else thinks.
It reminds me that I can trust it.
That I can use it and it will never run out.
Because it can't and it won't.
No matter what material it comes in... it's mine whenever I want.
It does grow on trees. It does fall from the sky.
It does appear like magic. And it does revolve around me.
It is whatever I say it is.
It is given freely and fully.
It is received fully.
So my question for you... my dear padawans...
What do you say it is?
If you don't like what you say.... say something different.
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
I want to tell you a story.
Of creation.
Of the time before words spoke out across the darkness.
Before those ripples cast themselves outward and procured matter.
Before time and before light.
When energy sat in silence.
When it was motionless...
like still waters... and all it does is reflect a perfect mirror.
and the dark reflected dark reflected dark reflected dark...
oh but you see...
something changed... something moved... something became conscious.
and a thought rang out.
a thought. and the energy moved.
the energy moved and different wavelengths echoed...
it began to change colors... lights in the darkness... lights in the darkness...
and the energy moved and when it moved the matter clung to it like a magnet.
and the matter appeared to come alive.
with all this energy moving within it the matter charged, like static...
and it clung to itself... like static... and formations began to birth.
different energy frequencies produced different types of formations...
different molecules, different bonds... different elements...
and these products produced other products...
and the part of the energy carried out the thought... the consciousness...
and it too flowed into matter... and it became alive.
Those creatures moved upon the unmoving....
oh but we are all moving... even the rocks beneath your feet...
they are just slower.... they are just slower....
like when light is slower...and it appears dark...
and we are all still a reflection of the original darkness...
see see see...
You can go faster or slower...
because you are the thought, the consciousness...
You can choose...
Because you hold a piece of that original thought..
Make your own rules, or none at all.
Make magic if you want.
Make yourself amazing if you want.
You always had the power.
You still do.
Own that shit.
Saturday, October 20, 2018
DivineAF
Let me tell you a story.
One where the protaganist (that's the hero/main character, yo)
is trapped...
and she must escape.
Escape from her captives.
But her captives live inside of her.
In her thoughts.
In her beliefs.
In her habits.
And they lay their eggs inside her subconscious.
And they antagonize her.... but she doesn't realize it... for years...
they contain her.
they hold her down.
they sway her to their wills.
they provide structure... a safe place to travel...
and they allow for only so much movement...
enough to make her believe she's free...
But no... this is a slaughterhouse...
where dreams bleed out onto the floor.
where the carcasses of possibilities hang from the line.
where more hope waits for it's turn to die in the holding pens.
And we murder ourselves each and every fucking day we stay in this place.
We step aside as fears cast over us... fears that aren't even real.
We worry and succumb to doubts... doubts that aren't even real.
We flail weakly on the floor with our throats cut... because we did this yesterday...
and we know the outcome... so it must be safe, yes?
We keep entertaining and allowing bullshit into our attention.
We continue walking the same marked path... because it's the easiest route to take...
of course it is... they want you to go that way...
And you have to stay... you have to stay...
until you choose not to
And the protagonist....
she becomes her own hero.
and at the end...
the slaughterhouse burns to the ground.
and everyone goes vegan.
the end.
____________________________________
(yeah, I watched Dominion today, can you tell?)
_____________________________________
One thing our protagonist needs though...
is the tools to help her on her journey.
Like knowledge.
The knowing that there are other options.
Other places to go
Other ways to live.
Knowing that you don't have to stay.
She will need to be braveAF.
because the handlers will be watching, ready to throw out a lasso...
or a electroshock rod her way.
She will need to know they will do everything they can to stop her...
And she will need to know that if she doesn't give up... they will.
all it takes it one choice.
One choice.
(no not prime choice select on the butcher block meat sampler)
Choose (chews?)
So chew on that for a bit.
Make your fucking choice to move.
Grow wild.
Go wild.
Free yourself.
Make sure to leave all the accelerant behind.
Leave all the dross.
All the bullshit.
All the fear, doubts, worry, excuses, shame, guilt, stress, structure...
and set it ablaze.
roast it....
You aren't meant for factory farms.
Or the slaughterhouse.
Or the structure.
You are meant for greatness.
total HERO quality.
You don't have to brand yourself.
You don't have to dice yourself up.
You don't have to be packaged all nice and pretty.
You don't need any labels.
You don't need to be processed.
You are a creature of divinity.
Fucking own that shit.
_________________________________________________
I just read another blog post I did last month...
and I still am wondering where I come up with this shit.
I amaze myself.
Is that legal?
I figured I would get real for a bit, I rarely find the incentive to do so.
Like I don't have a subject matter handy... a prompt, if you will..
REAL
like if I asked you what you did last summer... what would you say?
I would say I don't remember... cause I don't.
But I went to Disney last October. Because I chose to...
and I totally slayed the other options by booking the trip and fucking doing it
no matter what... how's that for commitment.
If I asked you what worries you the most? What would you say?
I would say nothing, since I don't worry... I get fucking irritated that something is trying to get its grubby little fingers inside my awesome realm of amazingness.
I see it though... sitting there trying to call out stupid things that it hopes will trigger me...
If only it could... hmmm... it would be a gift, so I can remedy that area I didn't know needed attention.
It's frankly entertaining at this point...
If I asked you who you loved and why, what would you say?
And for that matter.... would you really say at all... or would you fill the page up with meaningless reasons why you couldn't possibly tell what you really felt.
Ah...see now, that's where the sweet spot is...
people hiding behind these things... not shyness.... but inability to give.
Inability to give.
for fear of judgement.
for fear of being misunderstood...
Fuck all that.
Being misunderstood is all the rage...cause no one asks the actual direct question... and they build their own perceptions around indirect questions hoping to form some sort of idea without it actually being real... why? because fear of judgement for asking a direct question. Fear.
Yeah, I do that too sometimes... BoldAF works really well when you are high vibing on some remnants of a spirit journey with the angels and gods... but at other times, you fall into the trap of remembering the slaughterhouse and all your friends you used to have there... and you feel lost... so you just get trapped into an empathic state of 'Alas! Why the fuck is my brain taking me here!' and you just mirror other people and forget all that super saiyan power shit you still have but forget you have...
was that a rant...?
yeah... pretty sure...
ugh...
I'm going to go edit my book now... and have a snickers bar.
_________________________________
Long story short...
I give you permission to do as you will.
I'll give it to you... because I give it to myself.
So next time you need a hero...
Be one.
One where the protaganist (that's the hero/main character, yo)
is trapped...
and she must escape.
Escape from her captives.
But her captives live inside of her.
In her thoughts.
In her beliefs.
In her habits.
And they lay their eggs inside her subconscious.
And they antagonize her.... but she doesn't realize it... for years...
they contain her.
they hold her down.
they sway her to their wills.
they provide structure... a safe place to travel...
and they allow for only so much movement...
enough to make her believe she's free...
But no... this is a slaughterhouse...
where dreams bleed out onto the floor.
where the carcasses of possibilities hang from the line.
where more hope waits for it's turn to die in the holding pens.
And we murder ourselves each and every fucking day we stay in this place.
We step aside as fears cast over us... fears that aren't even real.
We worry and succumb to doubts... doubts that aren't even real.
We flail weakly on the floor with our throats cut... because we did this yesterday...
and we know the outcome... so it must be safe, yes?
We keep entertaining and allowing bullshit into our attention.
We continue walking the same marked path... because it's the easiest route to take...
of course it is... they want you to go that way...
And you have to stay... you have to stay...
until you choose not to
And the protagonist....
she becomes her own hero.
and at the end...
the slaughterhouse burns to the ground.
and everyone goes vegan.
the end.
____________________________________
(yeah, I watched Dominion today, can you tell?)
_____________________________________
One thing our protagonist needs though...
is the tools to help her on her journey.
Like knowledge.
The knowing that there are other options.
Other places to go
Other ways to live.
Knowing that you don't have to stay.
She will need to be braveAF.
because the handlers will be watching, ready to throw out a lasso...
or a electroshock rod her way.
She will need to know they will do everything they can to stop her...
And she will need to know that if she doesn't give up... they will.
all it takes it one choice.
One choice.
(no not prime choice select on the butcher block meat sampler)
Choose (chews?)
So chew on that for a bit.
Make your fucking choice to move.
Grow wild.
Go wild.
Free yourself.
Make sure to leave all the accelerant behind.
Leave all the dross.
All the bullshit.
All the fear, doubts, worry, excuses, shame, guilt, stress, structure...
and set it ablaze.
roast it....
You aren't meant for factory farms.
Or the slaughterhouse.
Or the structure.
You are meant for greatness.
total HERO quality.
You don't have to brand yourself.
You don't have to dice yourself up.
You don't have to be packaged all nice and pretty.
You don't need any labels.
You don't need to be processed.
You are a creature of divinity.
Fucking own that shit.
_________________________________________________
I just read another blog post I did last month...
and I still am wondering where I come up with this shit.
I amaze myself.
Is that legal?
I figured I would get real for a bit, I rarely find the incentive to do so.
Like I don't have a subject matter handy... a prompt, if you will..
REAL
like if I asked you what you did last summer... what would you say?
I would say I don't remember... cause I don't.
But I went to Disney last October. Because I chose to...
and I totally slayed the other options by booking the trip and fucking doing it
no matter what... how's that for commitment.
If I asked you what worries you the most? What would you say?
I would say nothing, since I don't worry... I get fucking irritated that something is trying to get its grubby little fingers inside my awesome realm of amazingness.
I see it though... sitting there trying to call out stupid things that it hopes will trigger me...
If only it could... hmmm... it would be a gift, so I can remedy that area I didn't know needed attention.
It's frankly entertaining at this point...
If I asked you who you loved and why, what would you say?
And for that matter.... would you really say at all... or would you fill the page up with meaningless reasons why you couldn't possibly tell what you really felt.
Ah...see now, that's where the sweet spot is...
people hiding behind these things... not shyness.... but inability to give.
Inability to give.
for fear of judgement.
for fear of being misunderstood...
Fuck all that.
Being misunderstood is all the rage...cause no one asks the actual direct question... and they build their own perceptions around indirect questions hoping to form some sort of idea without it actually being real... why? because fear of judgement for asking a direct question. Fear.
Yeah, I do that too sometimes... BoldAF works really well when you are high vibing on some remnants of a spirit journey with the angels and gods... but at other times, you fall into the trap of remembering the slaughterhouse and all your friends you used to have there... and you feel lost... so you just get trapped into an empathic state of 'Alas! Why the fuck is my brain taking me here!' and you just mirror other people and forget all that super saiyan power shit you still have but forget you have...
was that a rant...?
yeah... pretty sure...
ugh...
I'm going to go edit my book now... and have a snickers bar.
_________________________________
Long story short...
I give you permission to do as you will.
I'll give it to you... because I give it to myself.
So next time you need a hero...
Be one.
nothing
Ah...the crisp cool air.
would be perfect if the sun was out.
then you could lay in the driveway and be warm and comfortable the whole day through.
Kinda bored today...
have things to do, but some I don't feel like doing..
some I will do, but later..
and one I'm still majorly keeping the record of procrastinating on it.
In other words...
the youngest needs clothes and we've yet to make it out to shop for them.
Will go tomorrow if we are up to it.
Book editing... I made it through chapter 10 last night...
hoping I can get 10 more chapters done tonight.
So should have book 5 published by the end of the month.
I still need to start on the screenplay.
It's sitting right here in beat card form, but I've yet to open Final Draft and begin.
I learned Ain't No Rest for the Wicked on the ukelele yesterday...
so that's progress in whatever form is usually acceptable in these times..
Need to sew costumes for the oldest. Awaiting measurements and 'want to' juice.
Really not much else occurring for this 3d realm of materialism.
Nothing of late from the other side either. Nothing new anyway.
Just sitting...
But for your astrological curiousities... Uranus is going retrograde in Aries on the 6th.
A.k.a - Voting day. Expect some really angry democratic temper tantrums.
Should be a fun week on social media.... if you still hang out there
I only go for the screenwriting groups... magic happy groups... and Farm Heroes. ...
Been hanging out on that game way too much the past few days.
No wonder things are quiet... duh
___________________________________________
Nil
would be perfect if the sun was out.
then you could lay in the driveway and be warm and comfortable the whole day through.
Kinda bored today...
have things to do, but some I don't feel like doing..
some I will do, but later..
and one I'm still majorly keeping the record of procrastinating on it.
In other words...
the youngest needs clothes and we've yet to make it out to shop for them.
Will go tomorrow if we are up to it.
Book editing... I made it through chapter 10 last night...
hoping I can get 10 more chapters done tonight.
So should have book 5 published by the end of the month.
I still need to start on the screenplay.
It's sitting right here in beat card form, but I've yet to open Final Draft and begin.
I learned Ain't No Rest for the Wicked on the ukelele yesterday...
so that's progress in whatever form is usually acceptable in these times..
Need to sew costumes for the oldest. Awaiting measurements and 'want to' juice.
Really not much else occurring for this 3d realm of materialism.
Nothing of late from the other side either. Nothing new anyway.
Just sitting...
But for your astrological curiousities... Uranus is going retrograde in Aries on the 6th.
A.k.a - Voting day. Expect some really angry democratic temper tantrums.
Should be a fun week on social media.... if you still hang out there
I only go for the screenwriting groups... magic happy groups... and Farm Heroes. ...
Been hanging out on that game way too much the past few days.
No wonder things are quiet... duh
___________________________________________
Nil
Sunday, October 14, 2018
You don't have to invite me....
What are we going to do?
---
~"We're not going to do anything."
---
Okay.
So... we're gonna be something?"
---
~"No."
~"We're going to sit with what we are."
---
...okay...
_________________________________________
How can so much be packed into such small words?
DO - implies there's an action to take.
Like you have to physically procure matter.
Work for it.
Move it.
BE - it implies an active attention towards be-ing.
Like you have to notice it.
Try for it.
Be-come it.
Oh, but darling... that ^ is not how the heavens work...
.......
ARE - means it is already so.
Like you are already complete.
Have already completed it.
It is.
All you have to 'do' is know it.
All you have to 'be' is who you 'are'.... what...you are.
Ahhh...I see what you've done there...
.......
WHO - implies that we are separate from.
Like we are set apart.
Individuals without connection.
Alone.
But...
WHAT - means we are a substance.
Like we are a unified field.
Each part of the whole.
One.
_________________________________________________
Fearless.
Each step makes you move to a different version of fearlessness...
Like you thought you were brave...until something new comes up...
and you flow with it like a boss... and NOW you feel even more fearless.
BraveAF.
And the whole world hangs in the midst and you wonder what would happen
if it fell from the sky.
You'd still stand. But would it hurt? Would you feel the pain? The terror?
Can we feel anything anymore?
So today a feeling came to me that I rarely get to tangle myself with.
Sometimes wondering if it was still buried within me...
and yes. yes it was.
It was dug up today. And I'm thankful for it.
These things trapped in the darkness... things I couldn't find on my own.
At least not until something reminded me of their presence.
That attention of mine can't search for what it has forgotten...
but today... you reminded me.
Perhaps totally on accident on your part...
But thank you, anyway... for showing me where I need healed.
Where I need loved.
I shall give it to her.
Because she is allowed to ask.
She is allowed to receive.
And I am also allowed to give.
I can choose to do it all.
And I do.
And one stupid thing... that one stupid thing... showed me.
What a blessing you are.
And you aren't able to receive even that from me...
Damn it. I miss you.
..... and as per yesterday's highlight...
""Did god loiter around in the dark for weeks before really just deciding to turn on the light?""
Fuck yes he does...
Dumbass.
But I assure you it was most likely years. Perhaps lifetimes.
And how long do you wait for your soul mate to step out of his darkness?
As long as it takes.
Because you don't realize who I really am, do you?
I didn't come here for them.
I didn't come here for any of them.
I came for you.
I came for you.
And I have angels that walk beside me as I walk with you through your hell.
And I walk unafraid, fearless, BraveAF.
Because nothing can touch a star.
Not even you.
Not even you.
__________________________________________
Whoo! that was fun!
I like writing! I am gonna get paid to do this shit!
I know that was kind of long for some of you...
but it's oozing with deep deep shit.
I don't mean to drown everyone, but it happens, yo.
Atlanteans do that.
Cause I'm supposedly one of them... ?? who knows.
It's fun to go with it though, why not, right?
There's only 18000 reasons why I'm playing along...
and it's fun to negotiate whether or not someone will think I'm being sarcastic, truthful, or lying
... and that is totally fascinating to me. I love people, they are so weird.
Anyway....
I successfully wasted the entire weekend!
I slept in.
I wasted time on facebook and Farm Heroes Saga.
I didn't work on my book or screenplay.
I didn't work in the yard.
But I laid in the driveway today and sat with what I am for hours.
I wrote a testimonial yesterday too on a course I took.
(it was good writing there too)... I should totally write more...hmmm.
well... I'm writing my adventures!
and now I'm going to watch a movie.
then have some ice cream.
then go and douse myself with some love to heal that shit that got unearthed earlier...
and if I must, I will past-hack that too... cause it works for everything else, why not.
Just have to locate the seed.... the beginning, the original download....
then sleep...
and do that 1 whole order I have tomorrow... unless they send me MORE!
and today I made $40.
Namaste.
---
~"We're not going to do anything."
---
Okay.
So... we're gonna be something?"
---
~"No."
~"We're going to sit with what we are."
---
...okay...
_________________________________________
How can so much be packed into such small words?
DO - implies there's an action to take.
Like you have to physically procure matter.
Work for it.
Move it.
BE - it implies an active attention towards be-ing.
Like you have to notice it.
Try for it.
Be-come it.
Oh, but darling... that ^ is not how the heavens work...
.......
ARE - means it is already so.
Like you are already complete.
Have already completed it.
It is.
All you have to 'do' is know it.
All you have to 'be' is who you 'are'.... what...you are.
Ahhh...I see what you've done there...
.......
WHO - implies that we are separate from.
Like we are set apart.
Individuals without connection.
Alone.
But...
WHAT - means we are a substance.
Like we are a unified field.
Each part of the whole.
One.
_________________________________________________
Fearless.
Each step makes you move to a different version of fearlessness...
Like you thought you were brave...until something new comes up...
and you flow with it like a boss... and NOW you feel even more fearless.
BraveAF.
And the whole world hangs in the midst and you wonder what would happen
if it fell from the sky.
You'd still stand. But would it hurt? Would you feel the pain? The terror?
Can we feel anything anymore?
So today a feeling came to me that I rarely get to tangle myself with.
Sometimes wondering if it was still buried within me...
and yes. yes it was.
It was dug up today. And I'm thankful for it.
These things trapped in the darkness... things I couldn't find on my own.
At least not until something reminded me of their presence.
That attention of mine can't search for what it has forgotten...
but today... you reminded me.
Perhaps totally on accident on your part...
But thank you, anyway... for showing me where I need healed.
Where I need loved.
I shall give it to her.
Because she is allowed to ask.
She is allowed to receive.
And I am also allowed to give.
I can choose to do it all.
And I do.
And one stupid thing... that one stupid thing... showed me.
What a blessing you are.
And you aren't able to receive even that from me...
Damn it. I miss you.
..... and as per yesterday's highlight...
""Did god loiter around in the dark for weeks before really just deciding to turn on the light?""
Fuck yes he does...
Dumbass.
But I assure you it was most likely years. Perhaps lifetimes.
And how long do you wait for your soul mate to step out of his darkness?
As long as it takes.
Because you don't realize who I really am, do you?
I didn't come here for them.
I didn't come here for any of them.
I came for you.
I came for you.
And I have angels that walk beside me as I walk with you through your hell.
And I walk unafraid, fearless, BraveAF.
Because nothing can touch a star.
Not even you.
Not even you.
__________________________________________
Whoo! that was fun!
I like writing! I am gonna get paid to do this shit!
I know that was kind of long for some of you...
but it's oozing with deep deep shit.
I don't mean to drown everyone, but it happens, yo.
Atlanteans do that.
Cause I'm supposedly one of them... ?? who knows.
It's fun to go with it though, why not, right?
There's only 18000 reasons why I'm playing along...
and it's fun to negotiate whether or not someone will think I'm being sarcastic, truthful, or lying
... and that is totally fascinating to me. I love people, they are so weird.
Anyway....
I successfully wasted the entire weekend!
I slept in.
I wasted time on facebook and Farm Heroes Saga.
I didn't work on my book or screenplay.
I didn't work in the yard.
But I laid in the driveway today and sat with what I am for hours.
I wrote a testimonial yesterday too on a course I took.
(it was good writing there too)... I should totally write more...hmmm.
well... I'm writing my adventures!
and now I'm going to watch a movie.
then have some ice cream.
then go and douse myself with some love to heal that shit that got unearthed earlier...
and if I must, I will past-hack that too... cause it works for everything else, why not.
Just have to locate the seed.... the beginning, the original download....
then sleep...
and do that 1 whole order I have tomorrow... unless they send me MORE!
and today I made $40.
Namaste.
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Crimson moon falling... falling...
It's been like a week.
8 days I think.
This page was left sitting open...another blank page in the universe.
Waiting.
waiting.
waiting for it's author to step onto the page.
to be created by the creator.
to echo in the silence.
to be reflected by the light.
to be.
what is your life waiting for?
where do you draw a blank?
what sits waiting to be filled?
to be fulfilled?
go do it.
just do it.
see it, hear it, become it.
you don't have to wait.
I give you permission to have it all now.
All of it.
The world shifted in case you missed it.
I saw it happen as the orange meshed together with purple in the sky.
I saw the voices quiet and the hushes fade into nothingness.
Peace for a moment as the skies beheld creation.
A new creation.
You should have seen it, heard it. I hope you did.
I hope you did.
All these miracles given freely...
just like that.
just like that.
__________________________________________
I still haven't started the editing process on my book.
But, I finished the outline and beat cards for script finally.
I will start the actual script soon...
I seem to be procrastinating on starting things...
although once it's started, it will get finished...
why is there so much indecision surrounding the beginning...
did god loiter around in the dark for weeks before really just deciding to turn on the light?
whatevs, yo.
so stuff and more stuff...
and less stuff, and some extra stuff.
Distraction has been hounding my heels of late.
Like boredom, but not actually being bored.
Like moving, but in no particular direction.
Like the sunset. Down and out.
But totally cool with that.
I know what this is though.
So much so that it's kinda boring.
I've done this before....so many times.
And I know know know already...
but I try to act like I don't.
cause who's watching the play anyway besides myself...
I must be entertaining enough for me to watch this play out again.
Am I expecting it to be different? Moreso? Better? Less?
Damn....
I'm being summoned.
And I even know why.
I know what they want to tell me already.
So I must honor the guides and go to them.
Class has started.
See ya.
________________________________________________
Understand me.
I'm not like an ordinary world.
I have my madness,
I live in another dimension
and I do not have time for things
that have no soul.
(((((((dreams... of late...
Japanese fireworks with banners of dragons and dogs of plastic...
And the star Sirius burnt out in a puff of smoke
The red moon tumbled from the sky...
and the people screamed...
they screamed...
but I tried to tell them it was farce... that it was a new moon...
but that could not belay their terror...
and the house was set on fire, with the children still inside...
you people are insane... the woman wrought with rage who lit the torch..
and all I can do is try to rescue them all...))))))
8 days I think.
This page was left sitting open...another blank page in the universe.
Waiting.
waiting.
waiting for it's author to step onto the page.
to be created by the creator.
to echo in the silence.
to be reflected by the light.
to be.
what is your life waiting for?
where do you draw a blank?
what sits waiting to be filled?
to be fulfilled?
go do it.
just do it.
see it, hear it, become it.
you don't have to wait.
I give you permission to have it all now.
All of it.
The world shifted in case you missed it.
I saw it happen as the orange meshed together with purple in the sky.
I saw the voices quiet and the hushes fade into nothingness.
Peace for a moment as the skies beheld creation.
A new creation.
You should have seen it, heard it. I hope you did.
I hope you did.
All these miracles given freely...
just like that.
just like that.
__________________________________________
I still haven't started the editing process on my book.
But, I finished the outline and beat cards for script finally.
I will start the actual script soon...
I seem to be procrastinating on starting things...
although once it's started, it will get finished...
why is there so much indecision surrounding the beginning...
did god loiter around in the dark for weeks before really just deciding to turn on the light?
whatevs, yo.
so stuff and more stuff...
and less stuff, and some extra stuff.
Distraction has been hounding my heels of late.
Like boredom, but not actually being bored.
Like moving, but in no particular direction.
Like the sunset. Down and out.
But totally cool with that.
I know what this is though.
So much so that it's kinda boring.
I've done this before....so many times.
And I know know know already...
but I try to act like I don't.
cause who's watching the play anyway besides myself...
I must be entertaining enough for me to watch this play out again.
Am I expecting it to be different? Moreso? Better? Less?
Damn....
I'm being summoned.
And I even know why.
I know what they want to tell me already.
So I must honor the guides and go to them.
Class has started.
See ya.
________________________________________________
Understand me.
I'm not like an ordinary world.
I have my madness,
I live in another dimension
and I do not have time for things
that have no soul.
(((((((dreams... of late...
Japanese fireworks with banners of dragons and dogs of plastic...
And the star Sirius burnt out in a puff of smoke
The red moon tumbled from the sky...
and the people screamed...
they screamed...
but I tried to tell them it was farce... that it was a new moon...
but that could not belay their terror...
and the house was set on fire, with the children still inside...
you people are insane... the woman wrought with rage who lit the torch..
and all I can do is try to rescue them all...))))))
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