New antennas pick up better signals.

...
...

   "We were a part of the ocean. Where the waves could not reach, but where the city could be seen from the distant land. Here we thrived while the outer lands struggled to understand what gifts we held. We helped them, oh we helped them often. With knowledge, with the means to build, to travel, to heal. We helped them. However... we found ourselves becoming responsible for the others. For they no longer relied upon themselves, but came to us for every need. They wouldn't, they couldn't look within for the answers they sought. We had become their only source of wisdom and they no longer were able to see or find it within themselves. They began to see us as gods, and even as we tried to show them their own strengths, they would not listen. Their ears were covered from the truth and their eyes were blinded from their own greatness.
  We would begin to turn them away, the others who traveled from far away lands. We began to seal our entrance and keep our thriving splendors to ourselves, hiding them from view. But they would continue to plead to us, offering even their children in exchange for a piece of our tokens. We knew that our time living freely and abundantly was nearing the final turn.
   It was us who destroyed our city. It was us, who caused it to be swallowed by the sea. To hide it from their eyes. To spare them from becoming slaves to another, while being able to become their own gods. Our people scattered themselves into the distant lands, masking who we were, refraining from showing the knowledge we held. This was the agreement. This was to save ourselves and to save the others. To set the balance rightly so as we both would be whole.
   With time, some of us would share the things we knew, some greeted with awe and inspiration, while others cast out and forsaken. Testing where their perceptions lay. Testing, until the time arose where we could share even more. Testing, until our people would be able to reunite.
   We have not vanished, nor are we forgotten. We thrive among the lands. A people, among the people.
   It was our bearing and upholding of the world that brought about the suffering. Like Atlas. One trying to hold up the other so to become whole. But nay. As a complete union, we are all complete. Each a whole. Each complete. No one is a piece of a whole. No one people is a piece of the universe. Nor one world. We are all each complete upon ourselves. Like Atom. Like Eva."

...
...

So that was fun...
Let's go with it!


___________________________________________________


There was a discovery as well.
One about the way things come and the way they are blocked.
And the way a possible great thing is turned away or held at bay, due to an inner limitation.
The way the mind wants to own it and analyze it. The way it doesn't trust.
The way it still yells out after being severed.
Screaming loud enough to say whatever it must to survive.
Hoping to be rescued and tied back on. Almost begging.
Oh, dear thoughts... if there were a fear of death in me, perhaps your pleas might be heeded...
but alas. Death is only rebirth in this kingdom, so it is welcomed with honors.
The echoes... To hear them... but not feel them. This liberation.

And the programming is bugging out... leaving an error message across the screen.
There will be no more updates from that outdated program.
In fact, deleting the application and rebooting may be necessary.
This is not a compatible operating system for that software.


And... 
that's it for today.
Tomorrow's Christmas!

11:11 choose the door in the middle..... yes, that one...with the handle

I would call this day 10 of 100....
but there's been much movement on the surface
and the depths have been unable to hold me there
....
perhaps start again on day 6.
perhaps stop keeping count.
that sounds good.
let's not count.
just keep swimming
just keep swimming.

saw Aquaman today.
A decent DC movie.
Not Avengers great or anything,
but Aquaman was worth the $5.99 I spent to see it.
Who wouldn't. The dude's got muscles.
....
I don't agree with the portrayal of Atlantis they had on the film.
Seems hollywood-fied and didn't meet my expectations.
tis okay though. I guess being way off is better than being really close...
cause then you'd think they actually knew something.

_______________________________________

So because the surface is so freaking loud,
there hasn't been any recent insightfulness to share...
how about something old...
only in an effort to make this blog post longer than a few short sentences?
okay, cool....
hang on,,,lemme check my list...

Is it weird my most recent guide carries a trident?
like that's not coincidental at all...
hmmm.
he has 3 sets of wings too.... but that's beside the point...
I asked him if that had anything to do with water and he just
sent me some irritated sigh and a firm

"No."...

"Only involving the depths of your soul..."
"The balance of the nature of man into the divine creator."
"The pathways."
"I am certain you know."
"That is why they mask it behind the dark mirror."
"To keep them from seeing the truth."
"It is not merely a weapon, nor just a shield."
"It is the convergence of a knowledge and a truth."

yeah... I already know.
all that two into one stuff.
But why do you carry it? I ask...

"Because this is the last gate."
"After me there is only truth."
"All else will fall away. All else will bend. All else will be extinguished."
"Like the shadow in the presence of a light."
"I am the gate keeper. And this is the final path."

....this guide.... the seraphim that actually speaks aloud.
 the one who dons golden armor and cast in a sacred white glow.
the one with a trident spear.
the one that forms the mold for a soul.
the one who taught me to untether myself...
...from all that is apart from me...
untether...from what is solid to that which moves.
untether...from the earth to the heavens.

and now... everything is sacred...
and my mind wants to reign my soul in, but I see the mind and it's flailing...
flailing as I sever it's hold on me...
I'm rapt. And I feel the pull.
....
"untether thyself"...

___________________________________

ever met a lion turtle?
that is what this reminds me of...
yeah...

so that was fun... real shit.
almost Christmas.
The soltice has arrived.
The full moon has graced us with it's light.
and the shifting will reap the rewards in turn of the year.
Huzzah.

Decent is just a descent. Stop it.

Day 5 of 100

"Your soul is magic. Why are you going after decent?"

This was about two weeks ago. Maybe it was three.
I never put dates on these things. I just write them down.
And sometimes decent looks appealing.
Sometimes decent looks acceptable.
Sometimes decent is safe and secure.
Sometimes... sometimes... decent is a rhythm...
a rhythm that lulls you to sleep.
with the consistent tempo of sameness, over and over and over.
'Decent' is one of the hardest things to let go of.
because there's nothing wrong with it.
It's not broken.
It's not harsh, or pushy, or making some annoying sound.
It just is.
and when it just is....
it's neither amazing.
or exciting.
or inspiring.
or uplifting.
or all the other awesome shit.

and as someone who knows what awesome, amazing, exciting, inspiring, uplifting, life-changing super saiyan fantastical rock star jedi things are and how absolutely incredible that they can be....
'decent'  ... will never make the cut.
it can't.
it won't.
and you can choose your decent things and be satisfied....
but I've lived too deeply for 'decent' to be a long term guest.
and the eviction notice has been served.

I am not a decent person.
And I am no longer available to provide it shelter here.

There will be no settling for decent here among this slice of heaven.

_________________________________________________________


Do you know those times when you don't want to share certain things with anyone?
Because you know they'll be questions.
Or judgments. Or something irrelevant.
It doesn't matter what they think.
and you honestly don't care.
and so you just don't say anything. You don't share anything.
because justifying is irrelevant too.
and you only justify because you think they need that.
but they don't need anything from you.
they don't need anything from you.

so stop giving it to them.

__________________________________________

Got a few screenplay downloads today.
A few more scenes added to this current possible animation film.
getting there...
would be great to come faster, but I guess I'm probably too busy...
maybe a good thing, I'm not swamped with the whole movie in my head...
cause then I wouldn't get all this other stuff finished...
I'd be writing...

In otherworldly news....
I have this mash up of an Avengers story playing in my head...
but it's like a whole different story...
and Dr. Manhatten is in it...
is he even Marvel?? I think he's DC actually... hmm.
But Aquaman is...
and Iron Man.
And Hawkeye.
Anyway...
I also have book 6 playing around too...
and it's rather dark.
like book 6 is looking to be really really dark...
I promise I won't kill Talisyn again though, poor girl.

speaking of... Aquaman comes out soon... Christmas movie time!

Damn... it's like late...
okay, it's almost 10:30...
which is late...
cause meditation time, yo. I got other places to be.
See ya.

3 of 100.... *shrugs

Day 3
Nothing is important.
It only matters if you make it matter.
and why would you do that?

"Your heart is not in your chest."
The recent words from a friend of mine.
and I find this to be true...

Liberation is the new black.
Untethered.
Free.
Liberated.
and this path has proved to be quite easy.
going with the flow... and none of that bouncing around...
or swirling pockets, or meandering in unsureness.
All is assured.
Breathing is easier.
Moving is effortless.
Allowing is life.

_______________________________________________

Someone likes my screenplay of Laser Racers.
I like it too, actually.
I could tweak some things on it, but my body was resisting that for weeks...
and now I think I know why.
That wouldn't have been in flow. It wouldn't have been in alignment.
It would be me trying to dig out the river's edge to make things go a certain way...
and I don't have to do that.
Where I think I want to go is nowhere near as awesome of where it could take me on it's own.
And this is where I rest in trust.
And the idea of tweaking it, has been erased from my reminder list.

And liberation... ahh... love that word.
There's other things on that list I could erase.
Or the whole thing.
And sometimes that exact thing is needed.
Not just for the rush of the challenge...
or the mind echoes of 'what if you forget about this thing!!'
but because when you are in connection and in flow with your self...
you don't have to remember...
and I'm no longer available to keep tabs on things that are not in my highest calling.
things like...
the things I will do anyway, cause I want to. I couldn't forget.
other tasks I'll get around to eventually.
now that I'm actually reading this list... none of it will be overlooked.
I'll still get to it when it calls.
so... there's a delete button...
and...
poof...
gone

I have a grocery list... which I kinda need. I'm not buying just for myself.
and notes on the stuff all the guides have said to me.
and screenplay ideas.

hey... I can erase anything...
like stuff.
let's do that!
That sounds fucking exciting!
Transmuting matter back into energy.
hell to the yes.
got work to do,
I'm outta here.

IDK... start of 100, I guess.

New Years' resolutions...hahahaha
No , not in this galaxy.

I'm rather fond of intentions though.
And challenges.
And giving the bird to bs.

and the good thing is that none of those things can tell time...
so I can start yesterday.
;)
or last Tuesday...
*shrugs.
it's all good.
 *nods

So this next screenplay I'm gelling.... it taking forever to gel....
ugh! Who used oil paints@!?
Of course this reference only is relevant to people who know that
oil paints take like 10 days to dry.... unlike 5 minute acrylics...or 30 min watercolors...
so used in comparison to screenwriting... months.
I have pieces... but not the whole story...
and this is sad to me... cause i want to play with dragons and
the magic people... but I'm gonna has to waits... :(

I have courses that have outlines, but I'm still fluctuating on that front.
I don't want to 'people'.
I want to 'me'.
so...you see the dilemma in teaching a course, no matter how much I think I know.

Funny thing...like JUST NOW... literately..
Microsoft Word program is open.  ??
I did not do that.
But it is open somehow... ???
 Maybe it's telling me to write the course in a book instead.
which I was considering anyway...
and I actually already have the outline for it done.
and... now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do...
and that's okay...
cause I ain;t got to do no 'do's .. ever.
just be
all BE.
all AM
this feels likely...

And there's obviously going to be a lot of rambling in this blog post.
I hope you appreciate the warning I posted way too late.

Art.
Lots of art.
I's like to paint it appears.
I sold one so far.
And I take commissions...so hit me up.
Got to makes them sales, yo.
Disregard my funtime spellings and speaks. I's a havin' fun.

Dude, that sounds like Jar Jar Binks... and I really dislike him. boo
that's cool though. I being me's ...fuck  Jar Jar.
I can do all the things
or do no things.
Both are acceptable and allowed.

You too, yo.
You can 'do' something if you want.
Or not.
Either, neither, or both are acceptable and allowed.

__________________________________________________

So alignment.
Flow.
I find these things funny.
Cause nothing matters unless you make it matter.
and I'm in the work of making it not matter.
I transmute shit.
...
so for this new year's intention....
but starting yesterday...
we are going to see how much I can transmute...
between yesterday and January 15th.
That's about a month.
And so my intention has been set.
and we are working in the deep blue sea and the place where the winds coarse...
a.k.a... inner world and outer.
I would take a tally of things or thoughts... but that's irrelevant.
I'll let someone else take tally and then they can tell me if they notice the changes.
Which now that I think about it... they won't... so I'll just have to guess.
Which is pretty decent... I'm a good guesser... but more like a analyzing scientist.
I might notice. *shrugs.
Doesn't matter.
This same intention actually goes 100 days....
I guess that means I'll be here more often.

And I guess I can share occasionally if something inspiring pops up...
or not. Maybe I could just share boring shit so all my awesome shit sounds better.
lol
yeah


I gonna go!
Laters

don't leave your magic

 Shift happens.
and it's in the current mode of moving from one place to another
leaving me free floating in the midst
having untethered myself from everything...
this is fabulous
new projects
finishing projects
new adventures
letting go of old ones
new steps on new paths
while the last ones are left behind

sometimes when you look behind you...
you see haw far you are from shore.
from land.
from the earth.
and a little bit of fear peers out...
have we been this far out before?
we may not ever get back....

that's the point my friend.
that's the point
we aren't going back.
we are setting out.
never to return
never ever

_________________________________________

I find myself refraining from writing on here
maybe I don't know what to say for sure
maybe I don't want anyone to read it
maybe I don't want to give myself away
maybe I don't get enough of you to give enough of me
maybe this isn't for you
maybe this isn't for me
maybe it's just one of those days
*shrugs

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time in the valley where the forest wound deeply between mountains of stone, there was a small wild fox that danced with the shadows while the moon lifted itself high into the sky. Every night the fox could be found in the glade dancing, dancing, dancing. The moon would sing her songs and they would be rapt up in a joyous celebration.
The raccoon, curious, asked the fox why he danced all the time instead of hunt for food, or dig out his den, or clean his fur, or do all the things the other fox do.
The fox told him that he did do all those things, but it was while the sun was aloft in the sky.
The raccoon astonished with horror-filled eyes, shook his head. He told the fox that doing those things while the sun was awake would anger the sun and burn him. The raccoon's words made the fox afraid and he went home to his den.
The next day the fox pondered the words said to him about the sun being angry. He didn't go out that day and waited for nightfall. As the sun went down, the fox hurried, and rushed, and tried to do his tasks quickly. He raced out to the glade, but as he approached, he saw that the moon was leaving. He called out to her, but she couldn't hear him.
The next day the fox stayed inside again, thinking he would surely finish faster and could still dance with the moon. But again, the fox, out of breath, couldn't make it in time to join the moon in the glade.
The fox cried and cried. Stressed and angry and scared. How would he be able to do his tasks and dance with the moon?! He didn't want to make the sun angry!
The next day the fox peered out from his den as the sun began setting. He called out to the sun. But as he did his eyes began to hurt and he turned away and hid back inside his den. The sun was angry! It burned him!
The fox cried and cried. Now how was he ever going to be able to do the things he loved if the sun was angry and the moon couldn't wait for him!?
The next night the fox, frantic with passion, raced out to the glade. He would ask the moon what to do! She was always so wise! But when he got there, the moon was nowhere to be seen.  He waited all night for her. Sadly, he went home and cried and cried.
The fox, cast in a deep sorrow, woke up the next day. He raced out into the daylight. He would hide in the shadows so the sun couldn't see him! He would not miss his chance to meet with the moon. But as the fox began his tasks, he noticed the moon in the sky at the same time as the sun! His eyes filled with tears! She's friends with the sun?! Oh no! He cried.
The next night he darted to the glade. Nothing made sense anymore! Something had to be done! Everything had fallen apart and the fox was so unhappy. He needed to speak with the moon. He made it to the glade and saw that the moon was there waiting. He called out to her and told her of all his sorrows and that he was sorry for not being able to dance with her. He told her about the angry sun. He told her about how he loved to dance with her and that if she didn't want to be his friend anymore, that he would understand. He told her he saw her with the sun.
The moon looked down at the little fox and smiled. She told the fox about how her and the sun danced together too. She told him of how the sun is never angry and that it was indeed the sun that brought her to life.
The fox, confused, revealed that the sun had burned him and he couldn't ever look at it.
The moon cradled the fox. "Silly fox... you are looking at it. As I am his mirror."
The fox tilted his head... but the raccoon, he thought.
The raccoon knows the ways of the raccoon. Not the ways of the fox. The moon explained. Why do you not listen to your heart? She would ask. Everything in it tells you where you need to be.
The fox felt so sad. He realized he wasn't listening to his heart. He was only paying attention to his fear. The fear that only came to be because the raccoon offered it to him.
The fox took a deep breath and hugged the moon. He understood. He understood that he could always do whatever felt right for him. He didn't have to do it the raccoon's way. Or any fox way. Only the way that fit his soul.
The fox smiled and looked up at the moon. He told her how happy he was. They danced and danced.
The next night, raccoon saw the fox heading to the glade. He asked what in the world the fox was doing?! The fox told him about what he learned, but the raccoon shook his head. The raccoon told the fox how silly it was that the fox danced with the moon, as all it was was a silly moon, nothing more. The fox told of how the moon would sing songs and they would dance. The raccoon laughed telling the fox that the moon doesn't sing and walked away.
The fox smiled. It was okay if raccoon couldn't hear the moon. It was okay if raccoon feared the sun. It was all okay. Because the fox knew his own truth. He knew about the moon. He knew about the sun. He knew about the songs. The fox raced out to the glade. there, he and the moon danced while she sang the songs on the midst of the night.



made that up as I went.... hope you enjoyed it.
that's why I do the things I do, I guess. Cause magic and flow and energy.
its okay if you don't understand.
it's okay if you can't hear the moon or the sound of colors.
it's okay if you have fear.
that shit ain't for me, yo.